Today's headline: Michael Vick's pit bulls learn to be pets. Next Week: Michael Vick's pit bulls maul new owner	(165)
		Steve Carell wins tennis title	(23)
		Super Bowl tickets reselling for close to $20,000, or what the Giants fans on Wall Street call just a portion of their year-end bonuses	(19)
		Players, fans, media, and prostitutes flock to Phoenix for Super Bowl	(43)
		"New England Patriots fans are smarter, classier and healthier and own pricier homes than the riff-raff who root for the New York Giants." Here comes the science	(103)
		Ever wonder what happens to those championship shirts of the losing Super Bowl team?	(50)
		Couple purchases two $900 Super Bowl tickets, asks for it to be left under doormat. Courier slips it under the door instead, to the delight of the dog	(27)
(Some Guy)		Patriots coach dies just a week before the Super Bowl	(38)
		Novak Djokovic becomes the third person to win a Grand Slam title since 2005	(19)
		NY Giants lineman Grey Ruegamer on his experience castrating lambs with his teeth: "There was beer. It was worth it. I have pictures."	(24)
		Billy Beane's habit of trading away his stars has finally started to tick off and turn away the A's fans	(44)
(Some Football Fan)		The top five Superbowl movies of all time	(45)
		Miami Heat win their first game of the year. Actually, since before Christmas	(8)
		Memphis still undefeated, and Duke still sucks	(18)

(Some Guy)		Sharapova: I'd rather have a husband and kids than play tennis	(41)
(Some Guy)		NHL Super Skills / Open hockey thread	(170)
(Some Guy)		Incredible story of the U of Southern Utah basketball player born with one hand	(28)
		Statue of Barbaro to be unveiled in Central Park. Keep two things in mind: Nobody will ever make a statue of you, and Barbaro was a horse	(28)
(Some Guy)		"The 'Wow' factor is back in the NHL." As in "Wow, that thing's still around? How come you can't find any games on TV?"	(65)
(Fox Sports)		Dan Snyder proves once again that he is a complete idiot by firing Gregg Williams	(45)
		Basketball coach benches half her team because "it's really about attitude right now...we'd rather have six giving 100 percent than 10 giving 50 percent."	(15)
		5 1/2 years after his nonsensical "practice?" press conference rant, Allen Iverson can't escape daily taunts about it from teammates and fans	(26)
		Talking about a new boxing video game bearing his name, Don King says the main problem for boxing now is "greed" and that "For a fighter, it is incidental that he should be paid."	(18)
		Giants fan paints his dog blue, but at least leaves the dog's privates unpainted. Because nobody likes a dog with a blue tongue	(58)
		Almost one year after his death, Barbaro is still doing his part for horse racing. Over $1.3 million raised in his name for research	(10)
		In a move Ric Romero would be proud of, Boston reporter put on NY Giants gear and discovers people in Boston don't like it	(32)
		ESPN's report that boy wonder Lane Kiffin was asked to resign turns out to be as accurate as ESPN's report that Les Miles took the Michigan job	(16)
		Arsenal, Liverpool, Chelsea...and Havant and Waterlooville...are all in action, it's the FA cup 4th round	(17)
(The State)		South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier gathers his team to go over strategies on how to effectively deal with the biggest threat to his team: mopeds	(9)
(mlb.com)		Minnesota Twins sign Justin Morneau to a six-year, $80 million contract, which is like $81.3 million in Canadian money	(20)
(Some Bloke)		The greatest wicketkeeper/batsman of all time has just retired	(28)
		Having just dumped mega-celebrity Jessica Simpson, Tony Romo proposes to college sweetheart (who not coincidentally models swimwear)	(29)
		Atlanta Falcons hope new offensive coordinator Mike Mularkey can turn the team around, but that's a bunch of, um, what's the word I'm looking for... nonsense	(15)
(Some Double Entendre)		After hours of squealing and grunting, a sweaty Maria Sharapova finally licks Ana Ivanovic Down Under	(22)
		American investors poised to buy fourth English Premier League club. Unfortunately for them, Derby County is to football as Duke is to armoured wankball	(10)
		NBA player David Harrison gets busted for weed, makes a statement that sounds like a deleted scene from Dazed and Confused	(27)
		Who says kickers aren't tough? Chargers kicker played five games with broken leg	(20)
		Tom Brady a no-show at practice two days in a row. EVERYBODY PANIC	(39)

		ESPN embargoes Dana Jacobson coverage after reporting on it non-stop for five days	(28)
		In a move that's sure to finally turn his team's fortunes around, Al Davis has asked Lane Kiffin to resign after one season	(39)
		With the stock and housing markets so unstable, why not invest in humans? Minor league pitcher offers shares of his future salary for as little as $20	(37)
		Former Duke player turned hoops TV announcer wraps interview with Seton Hall coach: "Continued Good Sex In The Big East" (with video). Duke Sucks	(19)
		Can an NFL player go vegan? If meat and fish are vegetables, then yes, absolutely	(53)
		NY Giants can look to the 1997 Denver Broncos for inspiration, EAS supplements	(26)
		"It would be a shame if (The Patriots) did not win. Yet we would care so much more if they lost"	(39)
		Brady's status prior to Super Bowl has Belichik tight-lipped. Peter King's lips remain open, moist, hungry	(12)
		Lawyer for former Vancouver Canucks coach Marc Crawford says Crawford ordered Steve Bertuzzi off the ice before the infamous attack on Steve Moore	(23)
		It isn't fair to ask the NHL All-Star Game to compete with the Poultry Expo, they are completely different levels of entertainment	(23)
(Some Guy)		Tech's Deron Washington tries to single-handedly injure every player on sucky Duke	(23)
(Offseason B.S.)		Devil Rays retain their top talent, which explains why players want to play for Tampa. "There's something in the clubhouse. It's alluring. It's contagious. It's good."	(13)
(Bloomberg)		Further proof that the stimulus package is working: Super Bowl bets in Vegas expected to exceed $100 million for first time in history	(36)
		Fox TV show gets Ray Lewis to take a polygraph. One guess what question they didn't ask him	(11)
(Blackheath RFC)		Finally, we will find out which is tougher: Rugby or armoured wankball, as Bengals player joins English rugby side	(61)
(Some Guy)		ESPN's John Buccigross takes out his feelings about girls on Sports Center (with video goodness)	(17)
		The Giants will enter the Super Bowl as 13.5 point underdogs, which is the biggest since ... the 2001 Patriots?	(27)
(Some Guy)		Ben Roethlisberger wants a tall receiver, Hines Ward feels insecure and lashes out. And these are the offseasons of our lives	(36)
		Randy Moss' lawyer: "Randy will appear in court after the Super Bowl. Then we'll deal with the substance of this woman's accusations, which is bullshiat." I hope doesn't use that mouth to depose his mother	(19)
		Reggie Bush will commit perjury next month	(10)
		Roger Federer's amazing streak of 10 straight Grand Slam finals comes to an end	(27)
		Atlanta Falcons' offense will be full of Mularkey. Well, more than it already was, anyway	(9)
		With only a couple of insignificant games left, NFL writers are breaking out the mock drafts	(44)
		The No Fun League expands their list of banned dances for endzone celebrations	(35)
		New York Yankees give Robinson Cano a can o' money	(15)
(Some Guy)		Who has a better complexion -- Tom Coughlin in sub-zero weather in Green Bay, or Emperor Palpatine?	(14)
(Samaritan's Feet)		IUPUI hoops coach Ron Hunter hoped to get 40,000 shoes for charity by coaching barefoot last night. Instead, he's up to 110,000, and counting. LGT charity he's helping	(50)
(NY Daily News)		Plexiglass Burress says the New York Giants have better wide receivers than the New England Patriots, but won't tell where they're hiding them	(52)
		Criminal, alleged rapist, and all round rogue Alisher Usmanov ready to quit Arsenal	(6)
		Ten things you didn't know about new Falcons coach Mike Smith, other than who the hell is Mike Smith	(22)
		Miami Heat loses 15th game in a row, 90-89 to the Spurs. Stan Van Gundy seen laughing hysterically	(20)
		Finally, an NBA game the way it was meant to be played: Outdoors and at the mercy of the weather. Wait, what?	(42)
		Daniel Alfredsson scores seven points in Ottawa's 8-4 win over Tampa tonight. And yes, even though it was against Tampa, it still counts	(52)
		Joe Torre shows a new talent by channeling Ric Romero. Says MLB needs to fix its trust issue	(7)
(Some Guy)		British pig taught to play soccer. L.A. Galaxy expected to start him at midfield next season (pic)	(9)
		West Bloomfield tool who threw the beer cup that launched the infamous Pacers-Pistons brawl is headed to PMITA prison	(29)

(Some Guy)		California Supreme Court rules that prosecutors can acess the names of an additional 100 MLB players on drugs. This headline now contains the entire list of MLB players not on drugs	(7)
		David Letterman ribs near-goat New York Giants kicker Lawrence Tynes about his repeated attempts last Sunday, says "the first one looked like I kicked it." Tynes responds, "No, the second one looked like you kicked it"	(34)
(Some Guy)		The Toilet Bowl: Determining the Worst Team in NFL History	(51)
		Seeing how MLB fans loved Dane Cook's "There's only one October" ads, the NFL snaps up Carlos Mencia for the Super Bowl	(54)
		Phoenix Suns fan clearly has no idea Steve Nash is not American	(21)
		Stephen A. Smith has gotten serious about blogging. One day down, 87 Caps Lock keys replaced	(19)
		Is Eli Manning today's Joe Namath? We'll see how their Super Bowls look in comparison, but Eli's already making good progress in the category of Embarrassing Public Drunkenness	(50)
		Actress and total hottie Kate Mara is loving the New York Giants' miracle run to the Super Bowl...and why not, since she's related to basically everyone who ever owned or ran the franchise	(47)
		Every guy's fantasy comes true: Sharapova and Ivanovic to go at each other Down Under	(33)
		Prank callers disrupt conference call with Big East coaches	(9)
		Dolphins accept a dozen breakfast taquitos and a lifetime pass to "Curves" in exchange for #1 pick	(19)
		USC basketball coach Tim Floyd throws himself in front of the NCAA violations bus to save O.J. Mayo	(13)
		Mark Cuban is to whining what Duke is to suckiness	(10)
(Some Guy)		Newspaper slapfight: The Boston Herald shoots back at New York for coverage of Tom Brady	(34)
		...or maybe not. Packers' bikini girls refuse to show the boobies	(104)
		New York Giants lineman who allegedly poops on sex partners now accusing Patriots of hitting after the whistle; Yes, Osi Umenyiora knows dirty when he sees it	(30)
		Kathy Griffin remains the only D-List Celebrity who can insult Jesus	(172)
		You get to interview the #5 ranked tennis player in the entire world and what's the first thing out of your mouth? "Would you ever consider getting naked for Playboy?"	(36)
		Because a big enough issue hasn't been made about this already, Jim Brown says Tiger Woods should have made Kelly Tilghman "pay the price" for what she said	(41)
		Controversy over poster featuring Chicago Cubs' new Japanese player and Japanese flag -- it might upset "long-ago enemies of Japan". As former enemies of Great Britain, let's get rid of that offensive Union Jack thing, too	(117)
		Jose Canseco offered a different kind of "clear" to Magglio Ordonez by asking for money to keep his name out of upcoming book	(16)
		Kickball star David Beckham is the world's biggest threat to the environment. In related news, his wife's singing is the world's biggest threat to eardrums	(19)
		Baltimore Sun columnist asks if Cam Cameron can "revive" the Ravens offense, falsely implying that it was at one point alive to begin with	(21)
		Only the very rich will be able to afford the best seats at Wrigley Field as the Cubs plan to use ebay-style auctions for premium seats. Cubs’ elimination from the pennant race by the 4th inning of the 1st game not expected to hurt sales	(36)
		Baltimore Orioles' president of baseball operations Andy MacPhail says there's still time to trade away Eric Bedard and Brian Roberts, change spelling of last name to use F instead of Ph	(12)
		Runner after 64-mile, 17-hour run in -15 degree weather: "I can live a good life without toes"	(11)
		After intentionally getting their ad banned to create publicity, Go Daddy trims suggestive beaver ad (with pic, video)	(92)
		Richard Seymour caught on tape headbutting member of Chargers coaching staff. Hehehe...Seymour butts	(141)
		Subpoena for Chuck Knoblauch to appear at congressional hearing has not been delivered. Apparently, they hired Chuck Knoblauch to throw it to them, and it hit someone in the third row above the dugout	(10)
		As we all know, if the Pats win the Super Bowl, they join the Dolphins on the undefeated list. Here's the list they join if they don't win	(68)
		Football legend Sir Alex Ferguson says Liverpool's new American owners "lack class"	(16)
		Texas A&M, trying to improve on LSU's championship strategy of losing in triple overtime, gives up an upset to Baylor in quintuple overtime	(21)
(New York Times)		NHL extends contract with Versus network. Actual quote: "If you’re into hockey, you’ll stay for World Extreme Cagefighting, and maybe even for hunting and fishing."	(73)

		Yankees record-setting payroll in 2007: $218.3 million. Having your streak of winning the AL East end at 9: Priceless	(82)
		Dale Jarrett to join booth for NASCAR this season, expects his broadcasting job to go like his driving career. Which means he will spend most of his career at ESPN before spending his final years doing local sports in Little Rock, Arkansas	(7)
		Barry Bonds asks court to throw out his perjury case because the questions were confusing and unclear according to his attorney Keyrock	(54)
(OK Magazine)		Tony Romo, like the rest of America, is sick of Jessica Simpson	(57)
		Photo gallery of why America hates the Patriots	(119)
		With public urination illegal, and tomatoes out of season, only 400 turn out to attend Frontiere service	(26)
		Fulham continues its quest to sign the entire US National Team and ensure relegation	(37)
		Has NASCAR Sprint/Nextel/Winston CUP Bush/Craftsman truck series become a corporate sellout?	(45)
		Arsenal FC called "the worst losers in sport"	(45)
		GM of a team that has had years of horrible QB play hires a defensive coach from a team that has years of horrible QB play. What could possibly go wrong?	(28)
		Derrick Brooks set to be last remaining Tampa Bay Bucs player who once wore Bucco Bruce sherbet	(27)
(Fan Nation)		L.A. Kings may hold fire sale that will not endanger any mansions	(36)
		And now, your NFC Pro Bowl roster: At tight end, from the Washington Redskins, No. 21, Chris Cooley. At tackle, from the Washington Redskins, No. 21, Chris Samuels	(75)
		New York Rangers will retire Brian Leetch's No. 2 jersey on Thursday night	(74)
(Some Guy)		Brent Musburger and Company go ice fishing (With pigtailed Erin Andrews video goodness)	(21)
		Longtime PGA tour caddy shoots -6'	(122)
		Miami Dolphin linebacker Channing Crowder's car found abandoned at an accident scene. Police doubt Crowder was driving because the car actually managed to hit something	(21)
		Tom Brady observed walking into medical building today for treatment; Hair restoration treatment, that is	(53)
(Some Guy)		Shaq spends $1500/month on cable, and other interesting expenses from his divorce case	(35)
		Good: Receiving Lakers-Nuggets tickets directly from Carmelo Anthony. Bad: Being one of the best college basketball players and getting caught violating NCAA rules	(31)
(Some Guy)		The coolest sport ever invented: Power wheelchair soccer	(10)
		Your team is being played off the pitch in the Carling Cup semi. What do you do? 1) Score: Check. 2) Headbutt your teammate: Check. 3) Wait, what?	(13)
		Red Sox think WWRBD? What Would Ricky Bobby Do? Answer: Of course we'll sell ads on our unirforms	(66)
		Being sent to stand in the corner as punishment usally ends when we leave kindergarten. Not so in the Cardinals' clubhouse	(14)
(Some Guy)		If you work at ESPN, chugging vodka and swearing like a sailor at a party will get you suspended for a week	(47)
		Two weeks ago, I went to a fight and a Chelsea v. Everton match broke out. Ding. Ding. It's your official Everton v. Chelsea Carling Cup semi-final second-leg discussion forum	(52)
		Kentucky upsets No. 3 Tennessee. Duke sucks	(23)
(CBS Sportsline)		Archie Manning is the new Joe Simpson	(45)
(NHL)		How do you get a pompous New Englander to shut up? Start a conversation about hockey	(108)
(Some New York Guy)		Giants fans show a refreshing level of class as the big game approaches. Just kidding...they're encouraging fans to wear Bridget Moynahan masks	(46)
		Just a warning to those sitting in the fifth row of Congress, Chuck Knoblauch will be testifying there soon	(24)
		Don Mattingly quits as hitting coach for Dodgers. Torre didn't like those sideburns	(11)
		Tiki Barber is the new Patrick Ewing	(56)

(Bitten and Bound)		Billy Poole, extreme skier: 1980-2008 RIP	(138)
		Tumor recently removed from Nuggets' Nene malignant	(19)
		Super Bowl quarterbacks ranked. Joe Montana dominates top ten, yells at Tom Brady to get off his lawn	(60)
		L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling, after leading the team to zero NBA titles in 29 years: "I don’t know how to win. I know how to win at everything else, but not at sports."	(14)
		Phoenix Coyotes sign goalie Ilya Bryzgalov to three-year deal worth $12.75 million and three vowels	(20)
		If you had Jim Fassel in your office pool for "Redskins mystery candidate," you can now collect your winnings	(39)
		Really bad idea department: Miami Dolphins considering bringing back multiple concussion victim QB Trent Green	(22)
		SI reporter claims Giants to beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl because they're "tougher"	(116)
		Holmgren stays another year with Seahawks, prevents Wilford Brimley from playing him in life story	(30)
		FIA President Max Mosley says the next F1 team to get caught spying will get thrown out	(28)
		Pittsburgh Penguins star Sidney Crosby out six to eight weeks, long enough to knock them from the No. 2 playoff seed all the way out of the playoff picture	(35)
		Tom Brady goes to dance club sans boot. You may now return to your regularly scheduled discussions of his supermodel girlfriend, beautiful smile, dimpled chin, etc.	(43)
		USA's breaking news: Drastic rate cut. Canada's breaking news: Maple Leafs fire GM, replace him with retread	(52)
		Dwight Howard entering the NBA: The NBA's logo should be changed to the cross. Dwight Howard now: It's no one's business I knocked up a Orlando Magic dancer	(37)
		Tiger Woods takes the high road on anchor's "lynch" comment, making him the only person involved so far to do so	(61)
		With win over Florida Panthers, Washington Capitals coach Bruce Boudreau thrilled that his team has "officially reached mediocrity"	(16)
		Division III basketball coach reaches 500th victory against top rival; has never left the university since playing as a freshman. Congrats Coach Fritz	(14)
		Buffalo Bills DE Anthony Hargrove suspended for entire 2008 season after third substance abuse violation in his five-year career	(18)
		Amy Winehouse smoking crack, there's people dying in Iraq, the world economy is a sham, but I've still got Arsenal versus Tottenham. It's your official Carling Cup semi-final, second-leg discussion forum	(54)
		New York Giants defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo becomes latest person rumored to become captain of the Titanic	(11)
		Voice of the Detroit Tigers, Ernie Harwell, turns 90 this Friday and after reading this, you will fully understand why you will stay clear of his lawn	(25)
		Good news: Bud Light to be featured heavily during Super Bowl commercials. Bad News: They'll still feature Carlos Mencia. Still no word about next Bud Bowl	(61)