It's going to be cold in Eli Manning's bed one way or the other tonight	(17)
(NFL.com)		Third Tynes the charm: Giants beat Packers in OT with 47-yard field goal	(294)
		Tom Brady's manhood too much for a whale's vagina	(65)
(Some Guy)		Bode Miller skies to his 28th World Cup win Sunday in Austria, breaking Phil Mahre's record for victories by a U.S. skier. Suck it, haters	(23)
		Roy Jones Jr. wins another fight, knocking opponent off his lawn twice	(5)
		New York Giants at Green Bay Packers NFC Championship discussion thread	(2322)
		Unable to wait for The Ocho, ESPN unveils coverage of its latest sport: computer gaming. Says with a straight face that gamers are "creating a new breed of sports hero for the 21st century"	(149)
		San Diego Chargers at New England Patriots AFC Championship discussion thread	(1702)
		Falcons interview Leslie Frazier and Mike Smith for head coaching position, set appointments with Teddy Ruxpin and H.R. Pufnstuf	(8)
(NY Daily News)		Many Giant season-ticket holders won't get Super Bowl seats, leaving Green Bay Packers fans wondering why Giants fans want to see the Pack play the Patriots in two weeks anyway	(44)
		Frenchman beats around-the-world sailing record by 14 days, completing the journey in 57 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes, 6 seconds. Promptly surrenders in Brest	(18)

(Some Guy)		"Thousands Brave Cold" to attend the LSU championship celebration. Green Bay Packer fans howl with laughter at calling that "cold" weather	(65)
		Maryland knocks off previously unbeaten North Carolina, 82-80. Duke sucks	(62)
		Good night, hockey man. CBC Sports broadcaster Don Wittman dies at age 71	(19)
		Knee injury may force Philip Rivers to focus on his second role on the Chargers: Arguing with drunks in the stands. And losing	(105)
		This just in: Roger Federer is good. With bonus replay of last night's phenomenal match on ESPN2	(27)
(ussoccer.com)		U.S. National Team plays its first game of the year, and 500th game ever, today against Sweden	(41)
		Jets hire Bill Callahan as Mangini's scapegoat	(32)
(Some Guy)		Man U, Arsenal, and Chelsea all play today but only one team has God in their side; Newcastle United. It's your official Saturday English Premiership discussion forum	(76)
		Lewis Hamilton signs £70 million F1 deal with McLaren; is immediately mocked by NASCAR fans who point out he drives a car that does not have pushrods, an engine that is not made of cast iron and for some inexplicable reason can turn right	(28)
		Ravens hire Harbaugh to be their new head coach, are floored when they realized that they hired the wrong Harbaugh	(26)
(Some Guy)		Three-year-old with leukemia gets to go bowling with his favorite pros from the ESPN telecast	(13)
		One of the world's top soccer stars pays for sex with a hooker who's not much of a looker	(43)
		There is a last minute change to the NHL All-star starting lineup	(37)
		The downfall of the Dallas Cowboys, with Adolf Hitler (subtitles contain profanity)	(50)
		Buffalo snaps their 10 game winless streak by scoring a goal for each non-win against Atlanta	(20)

		St. Louis Rams say owner Georgia Frontiere has died	(58)
		Phoenix police target prostitutes coming for Super Bowl -- with the exception of NFL players' wives and girlfriends, of course	(15)
		A team with a red faced, bucktoothed Indian as their mascot will be playing at Progressive Field	(54)
		Realizing the power and influence he now wields in NFL front offices, suspended Tennessee Titan Pacman Jones demands a trade to the Dallas Cowboys (with video)	(18)
		Rockies set up two-year deal that will allow them to trade Matt Holliday without having to swallow his contract	(9)
		Kevin Nolan of Bolton scores an amazing goal against Blackburn	(34)
		"Tom Brady is a beautiful, beautiful man, perfect in every way. I wish I could be him. I wish I could live inside his cleft chin forever, subsisting on nothing but his stubble, dried aftershave and the saliva of supermodels."	(42)
		Former NFL Defensive star Dana Stubblefield to plead guilty to taking steroids in federal court	(35)
		Jose Theodore appears close to regaining his pre-Paris Hilton 5-hole days	(28)
		Gordie Howe playing against the Moscow Dynamos. A 17-year-old Wayne Gretzky plays alongside	(22)
		To open the season, the starting rotation for the Boston Red Sox could be Josh Beckett, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Josh Beckett, and Daisuke Matsuzaka	(25)
		St. Louis Blues pull free beer promotion 30 minutes after advertising it on official website; 4-year sentence to former Blues player for DUI-impaired vehicular manslaughter on same day may have been a factor	(11)
		"There's an old saying in Phoenix — I know it's in Columbus, probably in Phoenix — that says, deke one defenseman, shame on — shame on you..." The prettiest NHL goal you'll see this year	(76)
		Lebron James doesn't really think getting caught doing 101 mph is a big deal. Besides, he enjoys racing David Wesley	(32)
		Willie O'Ree made hockey history 50 years ago by becoming the first black player to suit up for an NHL game	(35)
		Linas Kleiza dumps 41 points on the Utah Jazz before returning to janitorial duties	(10)
		Former NFL star Herschel Walker admits he has multiple personality disorder, finally explaining why he was traded for 11 players	(25)
		Former Steeler and and original member of the Steel Curtain Ernie Holmes dies in crash	(23)
(Some Guy)		Top 7 NHL bench clearing brawls	(74)
		Like a bad divot, the editor who put a noose on the cover of Golfweek has been replaced	(24)
		Randy Moss's lawyer/agent releases details about the email he received from Rachelle Washington's lawyer	(61)
		Indianapolis Colts' owner names new head coach, not that this suggests Tony Dungy might be quitting this weekend or anything	(37)
(Some Crank Yanker)		The Suns' Leandro Barbosa close to tears after a prank call to his hotel room tells him he's been traded to the Knicks (a bit down on page)	(20)
(Tribune-Herald)		Man with terminal liver receives last rites, flies 4000 miles, sees his team lose a bowl game, dies two days later. And you call yourself a fan?	(13)
		The importance of anchoring soccer goals	(19)
(New York Daily News)		Sony sends Eli Manning a DVD player and "Seinfeld: The Complete Series" DVD collection	(43)
		Restraining-ordered Bob Uecker stalker now has creepy website: "The unjustified actions of the irrational, angry man destroyed the life of an innocent kitten."	(17)
(Bugs&Cranks)		MLB Commish Bud Selig gets inturrpted by wife during press conference, promises to "punch her out."	(19)
		New York mayor bets cheesecake, beer and steak that Giants will beat Packers. Green Bay mayor wagers cheese, brats, triple-bypass surgery	(33)
		The image of Michael Strahan's sack on Brett Favre is etched in the memory of millions. But with the forecast high of only 0 at game time Strahan's sack will be half way up his chest	(55)
		Good: Los Angeles Lakers forward/center Kwame Brown wins in a poll of 242 NBA players, Bad: The question was, "Which player gets the least out of the most talent?"	(22)
		Old and busted: Paris-Dakar. New hotness: Buenos Aires-Chile	(9)

		Former Michigan QB Ryan Mallett figures out the key to beating Ohio State: transfer to the SEC	(71)
(TSN)		Already missing their top two players, the Colorado Avalanche will spend the next 2-3 weeks without a third	(19)
		Montreal Expos founder John McHale dies at 86; funeral services to be among the best ever until the mid-service pallbearers' strike, after which a third of the funeral will be held in Puerto Rico in a futile effort to get people to show up	(34)
		Should Bears fan root for the Packers in the playoffs? A better question: have you heard of the concept of hell freezing over?	(98)
		The Nuggets are OK	(25)
		Peter King picks Patriots over Chargers by 17. Undecided on Brady vs. Hurricane Brady matchup	(87)
(with-malice.com)		India/Australia - 3rd Test (Day 3 in play) - discussion	(29)
		MLB owners finally decide to hire a leader with integrity who can pull baseball out of the tailspin that is the steroid era. Just kidding... they unanimously voted to give Selig a contract extension	(22)
		NFL will play another regular season game in England in 2008. Over/under on idiot "London Calling" references is at 5,000. I'll take the over	(83)
		All hail the mighty Atlantic Division -- if the NHL season ended today, all five teams would be in the playoffs (of course, a lot of people would also wonder why they stopped playing in January)	(74)
		Lance Armstrong plans on having a ball when he runs the Boston Marathon this year	(27)
		Highly-read golf publication covers golf announcer's "lynch" remark controversy involving Tiger Woods by putting a giant noose on magazine's cover (with pic)	(37)
		Atlanta Falcons will reopen their search for a head coach after discovering nobody wants the job	(27)
		Good: Shredding old documents. Bad: Placing your NFC championship game ticket next to the pile of documents to be shredded. Fark: Finding the Packers' ticket office had heard crazy stories like this before	(98)
		Man files federal lawsuit seeking $500M after claiming idea for WNBA was "stolen" from him; NBA corrects lawsuit, noting he should be seeking right to lose $500M	(20)
		Maple Leafs may turn to former Phoenix Coyotes exec to turn things around. That sounds about right	(38)
		Federer beats Santoro in Aussie Open, treats crowd to a display of genuine good sportsmanship. Confused Americans' heads asplode	(35)
		Aussie TV announcer fired after outrage over his on-air admiration of Venus Williams' booty; Just kidding, network refuses to take action after Serena said, "I’m sure it looked nice" (with video)	(24)
		Garrett turning down head coaching jobs to stay with Cowboys (for real this time)	(88)
		Today's Premiership Football story: Michael Owen's comments against boss Kevin Keegan won't matter, says Alan Shearer, claiming, "They'll get over that." Where have I heard that one before?	(19)
		After all these years of NASCAR racing, somebody finally thought, "Hey, why don't we use some unimportant tires while pushing the car through the garage en route to inspection instead of wearing down the racing tires?"	(30)
		A Floyd Mayweather/Oscar De la Hoya rematch is close to being finalized despite an expected 99.7% drop in PPV buys from the first "fight"	(18)
(NY Daily News)		Police say former Yankee Jim Leyritz hit .14 on his blood alcohol level at-bat	(17)
		Go Daddy pulls "beaver" ad from Super Bowl lineup. Now considering "camel toe" and "bearded clam" alternatives	(28)
		Atlanta lawyer withdraws assault complaint against Pacman Jones; working on his divorce case at a strip club might have something to do with it	(5)
		LEAVE John Wooden ALONE	(10)
		Bobby Knight wins number 900; still a world class jerk by reminding fans that it was about time they filled the home arena	(22)
(Home Run Derby)		Movies of seven different MLB stadiums getting snuffed (SFW)	(32)
(Some Guy)		Allen Iverson donates $100,000 to anti-gun program. In other news, Keith Richards donates $100,000 to anti-drugs program, and Tom Cruise donates $100,000 to anti-world class nutbag campaign	(15)

		John Mayer calms legions of 40-something female Cowboys fans by defending ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson over Tony Romo's Cabo trip	(20)
		Marion Jones appears on Oprah, says she made a mistake. Shouldn't she be in prison right now instead of doing the talk show rounds?	(28)
		After wearing a Yankees hat to last year's NY-Indians playoff series, Lebron James' new blue-pinstriped Nike shoe should come as no surprise (with pics)	(27)
		Zinedine Zidane may make a comeback by head-butting his way into the MLS	(31)
		Solo eager to return to American Olympic team, give up nerf-herding forever	(12)
		Muslim girl disrupts track meet with scandalous attire	(78)
(Some Guy)		Green Bay TV station won't show "Seinfeld" re-run on Saturday just because it happens to be Eli Manning's favorite show. Eli heard shouting "Serendipity now"	(54)
(NBC 15)		Sports Illustrated ordains a Patriots-Giants Superbowl as they jinx Farve	(36)
		NASCAR considering raising minimum age of drivers from 18 to 21 to keep young hotshot out of the old boys' club	(19)
(Media Take Out)		Blogger says NY Giants defensive end Osi Umenyiora is into the nasty, nasty sex	(61)
		Donte Stallworth is a normal easy going kind of guy, but the alien that lives inside his head is nuts	(28)
		"Bud Selig seems ready to suspend San Francisco Giants owner Peter Magowan and general manager Brian Sabean" for enabling Barry Bonds steroid use	(35)
		Dolphins hire Tony Sparanno as their head c	(45)
		English Premiership soccer player who drove drunk, parked his car across two lanes on a major freeway, and fell asleep said it was the referee's fault	(41)
(Some Guy)		The worst college football teams of the decade. Hint: the number one team sucks and rhymes with "puke"	(34)
		Report: Randy Moss hit with restraining order	(112)
		Jason Garrett turns down offer to become Baltimore Ravens head coach	(54)
		Today's Premiership Football news: Kevin Keegan to return as Newcastle manager, scapegoat	(32)
		You just beat the team with the NBA's best record twice in a row. Do you then C) lose to one of the worst teams in the NBA?	(14)
		Patriots owner Bob Kraft invites the girl who got booed at the Colts game for wearing a Pats jersey to the AFC Championship game	(231)
		LeBron single-handedly outscores half of the Grizzlies entire squad	(26)
(NBC 15)		Wisconsin church moving its services earlier so nobody misses the Packers game	(49)
		Reports state that Rich Rodriguez may have stolen or destroyed all of the West Virginia player files after securing his new job	(49)
		"Ciao", Chow	(21)
		WAC bans "nice shot, a**hole" chant at conference basketball games. Violators will be assessed a technical foul, resulting in additional opportunities for fans to violate new rule	(36)
(Some Guy)		Steven Gerrard scores hat trick as Liverpool defeats Luton Town. For you Americans, a hat trick is when a player scores three goals. For you Brits, a goal is what it's called when the ball goes into the net	(50)

		Computer system runs 10,000 simulations of AFC Championship to predict that the San Diego Chargers have a better chance of winning than you do of winning the lottery... but not by much	(181)
		Baltimore Ravens hire Jason Garrett, an offensive expert who's also good with quarterbacks, to replace fired coach Brian Billick, who was hired because he was an offensive expert who was also good with quarterbacks. Wait	(49)
		Medical examiner rules that former MLB pitcher Joe Kennedy died from hereditary heart condition, not from the massive amounts of HGH and steroids that he (and every other MLB player) was probably doing	(8)
		Dolphins GM on the way to Dallas to pick up Sparano for fine wining and dining	(14)
(Louisville Courier-Journal)		Kentuckians get hot and bothered over photo of two University of Louisville basketball players kissing, and they weren't even siblings	(118)
(Some Guy)		Peter Forsberg update: There is an update	(28)
		Female tennis player Tamira Paszek at Australian Open has been "lunging around in a flimsy vest and straining sports bra that would leave members of the All-England Club choking on their strawberries" (with pics)	(73)
		NY Giants may want to combat drunk-calling Packers fans with crazy aliases at the visitors hotel. "Hi, could I reach Eli Manning..I mean, Daffy Duck?"	(17)
		Father of Jessica Simpson is now being accused of tipping off paparazzi about her Cabo trip with Tony Romo	(28)
(Some Guy)		Coming soon to ESPN - nerds playing video games	(63)
(Some Guy)		ESPN sideline reporter decides to interview Sportscenter anchors in the middle of a basketball game	(10)
(Some Guy)		Alonzo Mourning is not retired, no matter what his interview on the Heat's website that was pulled says	(4)
		Dany Heatley to be sidelined 6 weeks after on-ice crash. The distinction is important	(43)
		Congress asks Justice Department to investigate Miguel Tejada. Looks like he has some 'splaining to do	(10)
		Tumor removed from Nene, unclear if it was nugget-related	(8)
		CU mascot dressed up as gangbanger, mistake resulted in invitation to football recruiting party	(9)
(Adult Swim)		Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force was responsible for Tony Romo's season-ending INT (some Not safe for work language)	(29)
		Eli's taking the short bus	(69)
		"Best team lost the game," says Cowboys coach Wade Phillips. In related news, census indicates Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex has highest concentration of cryers and whiners in the nation	(102)
		How pathetic is Terrell Owens? Even British soccer players are laughing at him starting to cry in a press conference	(57)
		Yankees still interested in San-- oh fark it. You know the rest	(19)
(Bleacher Report)		A Charleston (W.Va) Gazette story speculates that former WVU coach Rich Rodriguez may be responsible for the disappearance of the program's player personnel files	(15)
		2012 London Olympics facing one billion pound shortfall. Looks like somebody's math was just a wee bit off	(14)
(*)		Live video link to Bud Selig covering his ass in front of Congress	(22)
		Five or six women tennis players approached to throw matches, squeal on every volley like they're having orgasms	(16)
		The Ron Artest Interactive Fan Experience won't be out for repairs as long as previously thought. In other news, the first 2,000 fans this Friday get free riot gear	(1)
		Your NBA power rankings. Boston is #1, the Celtics are #16	(21)
		It's so cold in Green Bay that Packers fans don't shower if they're going to the game so they can keep protective oils on their skin to prevent windburn, which explains that cheese smell	(77)
		Despite his Sunday sobbing, T.O. hasn't been talking to the press - unless they're sexy sports reporters from south of the border (w/pics)	(70)
		Australian Open match held up while police used pepper spray to subdue three spectators and ejected five fans from the grounds, marking the very first time that a tennis match made for interesting viewing	(6)
		Wizards beat Celtics twice in 48 hours	(43)
(TheHockeyNews.com)		IIHF announces formation of 12-team Champions Hockey League in Europe	(28)
		Giuliani refuses to sign Packers hat, still has better chance to win in Wisconsin than Giants (with video)	(55)

(Tucson Citizen)		Actual headline: Pickleball a popular event in Senior Olympics	(17)
		LaDainian Tomlinson and Phillip Rivers both expect to be on the field for the San Diego Chargers' loss to New England this weekend	(232)
		Denver Nuggets grant Nene immediate, indefinite leave from team for unspecified "personal health issue"	(31)
		NCAA: Female athletes no longer have to get abortions to save their scholarships. Duke Sucks	(58)
(TSN.ca)		Cujo signs with the Calgary Flames	(39)
(Charleston Daily Mail)		Newspaper photo gallery of ring girls at "Rough and Rowdy Brawl." SFW, but bring your own eyebleach	(116)
		IAFF rules that a runner with no legs has a clear advantage over someone who does have legs	(184)
		NCAA may give playoff format further consideration	(48)
		Duke Sucks, or should that be spelled with an F? Univ. of Virginia coed seemed to know at UVA-Duke game yesterday (with video)	(23)
(Some Guy)		ESPN's Dana Jacobson drunk at Mike and Mike roast	(26)
		Yankees definitely pull their offer for Santana, which they already definitely pulled a month ago. Yankees also announce that they definitely won't participate in ARod's free agency	(21)
(Some Guy)		ESPN writer apologies to Mayor for saying Florence, South Carolina is full of "double-wide trailers, wayward drug dealers, and used condoms" even though it's true	(32)
		Martyn Williams is named to the Wales squad for the Six Nations Rugby Championship after coming out of retirement to spend less time with his family	(4)
		"If Pete Carroll ever gets to second base with Arthur Blank, I'm turning in my sportswriter's license," and other NFL pearls of wisdom from Peter King	(36)
		When the soccer hooligans are away, the hardcore tennis fans will play	(6)
		Johnny Podres, who pitched Game Seven of Brooklyn's 1955 World Series win, dead at 75. Yes, kids, there used to be baseball in Brooklyn	(19)
		NY newspaper flies Jessica Simpson look-alike to Dallas, gives her tickets behind the Cowboys bench to "distract them" during playoff game vs. Giants (with pic)	(128)