So much for the Battle of the Zeroes... Miami Dolphins pull off their first win of 2007	(62)
		University of Michigan hires their next whipping boy in Rich Rodriguez	(87)
		Last year, Texas residents spent more money on winter apparel than 46 other states. Wait, what?	(40)
(MetroWest Daily News)		Speaking up in favor of steroids in sports	(31)
		Week 15 NFL discussion thread: Will the Pats be the first team ever to put up 100 points in an NFL game?	(1236)
		Four-page story about the history of post-game handshakes in the NFL (It's a lot more interesting than it sounds)	(10)
		Apparently there was a regulation football game played last night sanctioned by the NFL. Reports on the accuracy of it having taken place are mixed, though, with most supposed witnesses saying it was a joke	(43)
		Pat Riley wonders why life is so harsh. "When you're given everything that you've ever wanted in your profession, you wonder why that you feel such pain." Stan Van Gundy and karma unavailable for comment	(8)
		Thanks to a pair of teenagers hockey is making a comeback in Chicago. Wait, what?	(40)
(Some Guy)		Steve Spurrier rooting hard for Miami Dolphins to win a game so he can remain the starting quarterback for worst team in NFL history	(14)
		Atlanta Falcons running back Warrick Dunn sits down and has a chat with the man who killed his mother	(19)
		This boxer is 22-0 with 22 knockouts, 19 of them in the first round and he's banned in the U.S. Until Don King signs him he'll probably stay that way	(35)
		The poor sap who bought Michael Vick's dog fighting estate fails to sell it at auction	(7)
		Today's "Are you ready for some European football" thread: England's top four teams playing in super Sunday all-star doubleheader	(129)

		Tonya Harding's former bodyguard dead at 40. Cause of death not released yet, coroner doesn't want to make a knee-jerk reaction	(27)
(Glumbert)		French downhill skier surrenders his yambag to a gate. Bonus: screams like a girl	(54)
		Can Michael Vick Play Football in Prison?	(28)
		Johnny Damon's defense against steroid accusations: "I walk around with my shirt off. If I had anything to hide I wouldn't do that"	(24)
(Some Guy)		Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu fighter Ryan Gracie dead at 33	(23)
		Andy Pettitte comes clear... er, clean about PED use	(81)
		Jose Canseco, who has been right about the steroid scandal all along, says the Mitchell report is incomplete because it doesn't mention A-Rod	(47)
		The celtics are now 19-2, proving that their coach Doc Rivers is a magician. The photo of him levitating is proof	(23)
		Get ready for the Brady Quinn vs Derek Anderson debate in 2008 as well as QB controversies for these other teams	(42)
(The Sports Network)		Fukudome having just signed with Cubs, now Fukumori reaches deal with Texas Rangers. Baseball's trifuku is in play	(15)
		Stanford v Penn State battle tonight for the championship of the hottest women in NCAA sports	(17)
		It's no Arsenal v. Chelsea and Liverpool v. Man U, but it is your Saturday English Premiership discussion forum	(84)
		Russian billionaire bankrolls new hockey league in Europe, plans to raid NHL for professional hockey players - but might take a few Maple Leafs if that doesn't work out	(36)
		St. Louis Cardinals ship Jim Edmonds off to the Padres in exchange for some used monastery robes and magic beans	(21)
(Some Guy)		Duke hires David Cutcliffe as its new head football coach. *Moment of silence for his career*	(26)
		Tiger Woods is hosting his own tournament this week and like the gracious host that he is, lays a 10 under par smackdown on everyone to lead by 4 shots	(13)
		Former Knick Larry Johnson and Pro Football Hall of Famer Jim Brown are engaged in marketing the gang lifestyle to inner-city kids	(21)
		Anaheim Ducks acquire some dead Weight from St. Louis	(21)
		Even after giving birth six weeks ago and continuing to GTB, Sports Gal is crushing Sports Guy with her picks	(27)

(Sportsline)		Jason Kidd sued for assaulting a model in a nightclub, further fueling rumors that he wants to be traded to the Lakers	(7)
		Diamondbacks GM blows up team, scatters magic beans throughout the majors. Two-headed Haren-Webb rotation monster emerges from ashes	(17)
		Dolphins for sale. Price: $1.2 billion. Wins, talented players, saavy coach not included	(28)
		The crazy guy in prison that files all the bogus lawsuits? He might be on to something this time, after filing a lawsuit against Colin Cowherd for "ear poisoning"	(19)
		Six reasons why everyone hates the Patriots	(119)
		NHL proudly announces that they have no steroids problem, so please give them your attention. Some attention. Any attention. Pretty please?	(42)
(Some Guy)		The Trentonian sticks it to Clemens with the best headline on the Mitchell Report scandal	(23)
		Argentinean soccer star Diego Maradona wants a tattoo of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, although he doesn't say which butt cheek he'd put it on	(7)
		ESPN baseball analyst outed in Mitchell Report excluded from day-long coverage of report on network	(24)
		English soccer team signs African goalkeeper who has magical powers that allow him to stop penalty shots even while blindfolded (link to vid)	(23)
		Blue Jays decide third place is good enough, signs David Eckstein for his style, shortness	(40)
		Under Wade Phillips the Cowboys are 12-1. So naturally the hot rumor is that Jerry Jones will replace him	(41)
		Bush says baseball players and owners must "take the Mitchell Report seriously." Today marks the first day since 2000 that Bush takes a report seriously	(30)
(Fan nation)		Bill Cowher has made it clear that he will not coach in 2008 *wink wink*	(28)
		In letter to federal judge on Michael Vick's behalf for sentencing leniency, George Foreman plugged his "lean, mean, fat-reducing grilling machine" (with pic)	(16)
		Yankee fans are furious at Clemens, Pettitte and other Yankees for using steroids. Just kidding... they're pissed at Mitchell for not naming enough Red Sox	(123)
		When will Anaheim Ducks defenseman Scott Niedermayer actually play? We can't tell you. He's on double secret probation or something	(23)
(The Courier Mail)		Greg "The Shark" Norman and tennis hottie Chris Evert announce engagement. Yes, Chris Evert is still hittable at 53 years old (pic)	(50)
		Thanks to Steve Young, New England Patriots continue to solidify their position in 2008 NFL draft	(58)
(Some Turbo)		Full roster of the new American Gladiators revealed (w pics)	(192)
		Fred Smoot endorses a new energy bar called Smack; it's great for those long nights when you are out on a boat getting your freak on along with your teammates	(10)
(TSN)		For the second time in two nights, two players on the same team score a hat trick in one game. Bettman heard complaining nets still aren't big enough	(21)
		MVP points out 'the real heroes' Tomlinson said he looked out the window and the sky was orange. “That's when I really got scared,” “My wife was hollering, 'We got to go,' And I was brushing my teeth.”	(51)
		Houston beats Denver 31-13 to get back to the 500 mark in a game no one outside of Denver or Houston cared about	(76)

		Eva Longoria's hubby used text messages for behind-the-back passes to French model	(29)
		Save yourself the time of weeding through the 409 page Mitchell Report. Here's a running list of players indicated	(190)
(God Hates Winners)		What happens to a 23-5, Heisman runner up, high school coach when you lose the State Championship in Florida? God fires you	(28)
		Roger Clemens and his lawyer are already spinning faster than Larry Craig in a gay bar	(91)
		Appalachian State nears record third straight FCS/Div I-AA title. Michigan bashing commences in 3 ... 2 ... 1	(64)
		Four anonymous NHL players are testing skates with heated blades. Reason for secrecy unknown since all NHL players are anonymous	(49)
		Duke posts online ad for football coach. "Sucking" strangely absent in description	(16)
		Manchester United vs. Roma results in five arrests and nine fans hospitalized, which was probably much more action than anything that happened on the field	(17)
(mlb.com)		The Mitchell Report, in PDF format. "Cream" and "clear" formats also available	(581)
		Do not taunt bionic ball	(13)
		Michael Jordan does not have to pay woman $5 million for not talking about a baby that wasn't his	(14)
		Judgement Day has arrived for MLB. Mitchell Report puts Roger Clemens at top of the list	(598)
		Fabio Capello to be next England football team manager; Noah Bennet’s evil twin in "Heroes"	(45)
(Geekologie)		Video of Andre Agassi and Roger Federer playing on the world's highest tennis court. Bonus: They fire a few shots to see if they can hit boaters down below	(60)
		Mangina says that allowing other team to video tape from the field is "a pretty common courtesy"	(192)

		Aaron Rowand signs a 5 year $60 million dollar to deal to crash into walls at AT&T Park	(26)
		Atlanta Falcons players give former coach Bobby Petrino a warm sendoff, wish him good luck in the SEC and in all future endeavors. Just kidding. They called him a coward, a quitter, and a hypocrite	(76)
		After interviewing Porkpie, Fez and Derby, Southern Miss hires Fedora as new football coach	(19)
		Ravens TE Daniel Wilcox openly talks about sharing his 11,000-song collection to all his teammates and coaches. Oh, it's totally not illegal though, because he only "accepts donations" for them	(21)
		Aborigine freshman boomerangs St. Mary's back into the polls for the first time in almost 20 years. He has a can-didgeridoo spirit about him	(11)
		It has been a rough year, with the housing market being so bad and ESPN not serving hard liquor at their Christmas party this year	(17)
		I present the 2007 NFL All-Disappointment Team	(70)
		Astros claim Houston from Toronto. Wait... what?	(9)
		Rick Pitino claims his failure with Celtics was due to "bad break"; Conveniently forgets passing on Tracy McGrady in '97 draft and trading All-Star Chauncey Billups for bag of magic beans	(24)
		5 years after dealing Jason Bay to the Pirates for Brian Giles, Padres are in deep discussions to get him back	(27)
(Bloomberg)		Marion Jones stripped of Olympic medals, manhood	(83)
		Congratulations, Emmitt Thomas. You're the new captain of the Titanic	(14)
		In what is surely mere coincidence, former MVP Miguel Tejada traded to Astros for six rolls of athletic tape - one day before Mitchell report is released	(39)
		Direct TV blimp to show live NFL Network games above blacked-out cities beginning this week	(37)
		Pittsburgh Steelers guarantee Aaron Smith is out for the year	(23)
		Former Seahawk kicker uses rock to break window and save crash victim. Would have tried to kick the window out but he was worried he'd shank it	(97)
(Red's Army)		Celtics center Kendrick Perkins injures toe when bed falls on him. At least that's what he's telling the team	(8)
		Cubs are 50-50 on offering Mark Prior a contract, the same odds as him being on the field	(13)
(RSS PRess)		Lemon to start again for Dolphins. Presumably this is true at every position	(20)
		Bobby Petrino "doesn't love you or any other fan base. He doesn't love any school or any NFL franchise. He loves himself, his playbook and his bank account." Suck it, piggies	(47)
		Two different Philadelphia Flyers score hat tricks as they trounce Pittsburgh Penguins, 8-2	(85)
		Kansas City GM says 4-9 Chiefs are on track. Unfortunately, it's a one-lane track, and there's an oncoming train	(27)
		Arsenal v. Steau.... ManU v. Roma...it must be wednedsay champions league	(74)
		Chicago Tribune now expects to complete sale of Cubs in first half of 2008, shortly before the annual nosedive out of playoff contention	(22)
(Some football fan)		Fans using online flight information to track coaching prospects as they travel to interviews. Sports fans just officially outnerded Trekkies	(41)
		Big Ten expanding to a 13 game schedule starting in 2009 which would push games like Ohio St/Michigan past Thanksgiving. Duke sucks	(57)
		Fifth QB taken in last April's draft -- 92nd pick overall -- is the one that's 5-1 as a starter and getting media attention. Why wasn't he drafted higher? Teams didn't think he was a winner	(31)
(Some Guy)		Fat comic Lisa Lampanelli brags about a hotel sex romp with a player on the Chicago Bears	(115)
		Joe Namath finishes college degree 42 years after bolting from Alabama; is hoping for a congratulatory kiss from Suzy Kolber	(9)
		If you're a taxi driver and a customer asks to drive your taxi, usually you don't let the customer do it. Unless the customer is Michael Schumacher	(220)
(NY Daily News)		Jets vs. Patriots turning into Spy v. Spy. Unfortunately, the Jets are always the one who falls into the booby trap	(160)
		For all of you Patriots fans feeling pretty good about their chances the last three weeks, take heed - Jay Mariotti just predicted they'll go 16-0	(77)
(Sportsline)		Rams owner Georgia Frontiere taken to Los Angeles hospital. Hospital expected to move to St Louis next week	(11)
		Cubs sign Fukudome. Turns out it's not a stadium in Japan	(27)

		Sexy Rexy: "I'd love to be back with the Bears." Bears fans: "Oh, hell no"	(47)
(Ohio)		Browns can clinch playoff spot with a win this Sunday, but a loss would give the Bills control of their own destiny for the 6th seed in the AFC. Either way, the universe certain to explode	(52)
		"Things like this get blown out of proportion," says NFL player who punched cab driver, spent night in detox	(20)
		Following report that only small percentage of his charity funds actually went to NFL veterans, Mike Ditka dissolves his charity, will split remaining money between two other funds that assist retired NFL players	(22)
		USA Today employee buyouts leaves paper with zero NBA writers; So cutbacks not only improve financials, but increase circulation	(9)
		Some Week 15 NFL Power Rankings for you to argue over. Seriously, Seahawks two spots over Steelers?	(63)
		Falcons coach Bobby Petrino abandoning Atlanta for Arkansas	(89)
(Dhimmi Watch)		Italian kickballers beat Turkish kickballers. Turks then demand a forfeit because Italian uniforms featured a cross, which is offensive to Islam	(34)
		Brewers are going back to their roots of trying to lose every game in late innings	(6)
		ESPN taunts Michigan fans by giving them hope that Les Miles might still end up there	(31)
		Black smoke emerges from Arizona Cardinals training grounds as tight end goes on IR	(8)
		What an actual college football playoff bracket would look like this year	(207)
		Seventy-year-old Jack Nicholson claims to have shot 64 "six or seven years ago" on L.A. golf course. Reprise for his Joker role must be right around the corner	(14)
		Michigan's seniors get ready to go 0-4 in bowl games. Hey, why break tradition now?	(34)
		Victoria Beckham claims she's constantly being bombarded with balls. The Sun is there	(25)
		Yankees may trade Hideki Matsui for some players that will help them keep a stranglehold on second place	(35)
		Michael Vick's current losses from dog debacle: $142 million and counting. Somehow, none of the money went for Jesse and Al's hookers and blow	(12)
		Wheels now in motion for Italian Fabio Capello -- who speaks no English -- to become England's next national football manager	(13)
		NHL will reintroduce "third jersey" concept to go with home colors and road whites. Or is that home whites and road colors? Or home pastels and road color-coordinated skates and purses?	(77)
		U.S. sportscasters shudder at the thought of having to pronounce Fukudome	(80)
		Fourth place seemingly out of reach for Tottenham now that Gareth Bale is out for three months	(18)
(NY Daily News)		Isiah Thomas finally figures out why, despite all his herculean efforts, the Knicks continue to massively suck: It's the fault of the fans	(27)
		Despite seven-game losing streak and player meltdowns, Baltimore Ravens coach Brian Billick declares he'll be back next season. Perhaps we should wait to see what the owner and GM say, Skippy	(19)
		Oh yeah, baby: On Monday night, we all can be like Kyle Orton and drink like a champion	(15)
		Oakland Raiders plan to use QB JaMarcus Russell sparingly against Colts. Eliminated from playoffs, maybe, but still working on prime draft position	(16)
		God. Please make me a Yankee in my next life so that, like Carl Pavano, I can get almost $13 million to _maybe_ play in the minors	(19)
		It's Tuesday and Liverpool are on the verge of elimination, it must be your official Champions League discussion forum	(82)
		Bears to start the drinking champion of Chicago ahead of Griese against Vikings	(37)
		Losing sleep because your school is totally bungling its coaching search?	(31)
		Alex Smith has season ending surgery. 49ers fans given no such mercy	(14)
		Are you a hot chick, and want to spend New Year's Eve at the hottest party in New York? Please send a head and full body shot to Jeremy Shockey, c/o New York Giants. What could possibly go wrong?	(12)
		Sunday probably will be the first time the Patriots have no compunction whatsoever about crushing the life out of their helpless opponent	(147)
		Anthony Smith says that if he had to do it all over again, he'd guarantee victory over the Patriots again, because "I come out every game to win"	(46)
		Judge dismisses lawsuits against Ron Artest and the Interactive Fan Experience	(4)
		Detroit Lions QB Jon Kitna on heartbreaking loss to Dallas Cowboys: "Yeah, we were in the game... until Jesus made me start throwing incompletions. He hates our team"	(33)
		Predominantly British crowd at Hatton/Mayweather Jr fight boo the American anthem, then again they might have been yelling for more "booze" having finished theirs during the British anthem	(45)
(Premier League)		Newcastle forward Michael Owen hopes to return to injury in a couple of weeks	(14)
		HEADLINE: Leaping shark takes kangaroo	(17)

(Some Guy)		You know it's been a nutty football season when the NFL uses flex scheduling to move the Redskins-Vikings game INTO primetime	(53)
		Louisville suspends basketball player Derek Caracter for violating team rules. If only there were a word to describe what he lacks	(10)
(KTVU)		Lucky 49er fan gets to meet legendary coach Bill Walsh	(36)
		Michigan reportedly considering 0-13 Dolphins coach Cam Cameron for football coach opening; Wolverines fans now manning the lifeboats	(31)
		Rich Eisen highlight narration Sunday: "Ben Roethlisberger dumps one to Najeh Davenport for the score." Think Eisen knew Davenport was once caught defecating in a dorm room closet?	(94)
		ESPN apologizes for Internet poll asking if fans want to see Kevin Garnett blow out his knee	(94)
		Head of the NHL's players' union says, "I think ESPN needs us. I mean, I've seen some of their programming." He must mean the poker, women's college softball and game shows that get higher ratings than the NHL	(87)
		Rockies reliever to sign with Yankees, will bring fresh new perspective on how to lose to the Red Sox	(45)
		San Diego Chargers are still confused about what constitutes "class" on the football field	(96)
		Do not taunt the dynamite Patriots	(146)
(Fan Nation)		Peter Forsberg update: There is no update	(12)
		Utah Jazz continue string of allowing an opponent to score at will and go to the hole	(7)
		The fight for Coach K.'s shoeshine box is on; In other words, Duke is looking for a football coach	(10)
		NBA players union wants to change "restricted" free agency because no restricted free agents actually changed teams this offseason	(8)
(Some Guy)		Today's headline that sounds dirty, but isn't: "Erne Els Blows Lord Dunhill"	(3)
		Kenyon Martin appears to be a bona fide NBA player with knees and everything	(7)
		Breast patrol ends the Gate D flash party at Giants Stadium. That and the weather was so cold, you'd have a better chance to see the Jets actually win a game	(10)
		Boxer Ricky Hatton got knocked out by Floyd Mayweather and thought he'd gone to heaven when Angelina Jolie turned up in his dressing room	(67)
		Georgia Tech's decision to hire Navy coach Paul Johnson just cost them a highly-rated QB recruit	(15)