Jimmie Johnson wins his third straight Nextel Cup race, takes the points lead away from Jeff Gordon with two races to go	(13)
		You're a funny one God. Tempting us with a comeback before losing in OT. But I really can't take this anymore. Please Just End The Season, Still yours, Jets fan	(25)
		Adrian Peterson sets NFL single game rushing record against Chargers & submitter's fantasy football team	(52)
		9-0	(436)
		Russian rugby team had to play in socks after theif steals all of their boots. If you are tough enough to be a rugby player, you are tough enough to play in socks	(17)
		NBA Commissioner David Stern on the Knicks, "They're not a model of intelligent management"	(23)
		Some guy you've never heard of will be hired as the new skipper of the Pittsburgh Pirates	(21)
		Joe Calzaghe beats up Mikkel Kessler like his name was Jeff Lacy, unifies the super middleweight division, and moves into the discussion for best pound-for-pound	(22)
(Sportsline)		NFL Week 9 discussion thread. Are you ready for the epic Raiders - Texans matchup?	(2231)
(NY Daily News)		1938 article in which Joe DiMaggio explains why he held out for $40,000 instead of settling for just $25,000 a year, or the amount of money A-Rod spent on a new purse last week	(16)
		Darren McFadden runs for SEC record 323 yards in Arkansas win over South Carolina	(24)
		Stop me if you've heard this one: TO rips McNabb and the Eagles	(33)
		Todays #2 team losing to an unranked team: Boston College	(52)

		44th time's the charm; Navy defeats Notre Dame in 3 OTs	(66)
(mlb.com)		Torii Hunter says he'll wait to see what the Twins do with Johan Santana and Joe Nathan before he considers re-signing. In other news: Torii Hunter won't be back in a Twins uniform	(13)
		KU beats Nebraska 76-39. No, this is not a basketball score	(77)
		Legendary Islanders coach Al Arbour to come out of retirement for one night only to coach his 1500th career game	(17)
		LSU fans look to spread their seeds all over Alabama	(23)
		Good: getting awakened by a blowjob. Bad: it is from your male roommate, who happens to be the star of the NC State tennis team	(48)
		For the first time in 147 years, two women will compete in Melbourne Cup horse race. Submitter has ten bucks on them colliding with each other while trying to back into the starting gate	(8)
		Nick Saban faces his old team and Oregon and Arizona State face off in today's college football discussion thread	(1390)
(I wish I could quit you)		Not news: Analysis of Peyton Manning vs. Tom Brady says that Peyton has a better arm, is faster, bigger, and is smarter than Tom Brady. News: It's Tom Brady saying that	(75)
		It's your official Saturday Soccer discussion forum; LGT Arsenal v. Man U...a minor tussle between two mediocre teams	(144)
		Man breaks record for 50-mile ultramarathon, finishing in just over 10 minutes per mile. Oh, and he was juggling the whole way	(17)

		Marvin Harrison's knee injury may threaten his career	(47)
		Pay-Rod to Yanks: Give me at least $350 million. Yanks to Pay-Rod: Nice knowin' ya Jeter to Pay-Rod: Call me	(73)
		Red Sox and Mike Lowell agree to a multi year deal. Just kidding, they exercise the '08 options of Tim Wakefield and Julian Tavarez	(23)
		Sooner Sonics?	(46)
		Former ESPNer Dan Patrick's new national radio show so awful that his only major market affiliate, L.A., may set it en fuego after only three months	(45)
		All four Indy Star sportswriters pick the Colts to win Sunday, say Indy's defense won't be blinded by hunky Tom Brady's super-sexy shining aura	(138)
		There's a huge football game this weekend. No America, not that one, an even bigger one	(188)
		The 18 clubs that make up the G14 threaten to boycott the Champions League if UEFA changes the rules... It's confusing, the headline sorts it out: Arsenal threaten to take ball and go home	(19)
(Some Guy)		Yankee broadcaster pays tribute to Joe Torre. Just kidding... he shanked him right in the back	(57)
(Hardball Times)		How the Yankees can still buy the 2008 World Series	(84)
		Twenty reasons why A-Rod should play for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays	(16)
		The NFL top 9 under pressure performers, and 5 NFC guys thrown in to shut up the whiners	(65)
		Rutgers women's basketball coach C. Vivian Stringer still hasn't gotten over it	(50)
(Some Guy)		Duke opens basketball exhibition season by laying whole lotta suck on Shaw 134-55	(24)
		This Sunday night, NBC's NFL studio will be in the dark... just like the Miami Dolphins coaching staff has been all year	(44)
		Chicago Bulls insist that no deal is imminent for Kobe Bryant. In tomorrow's news, "Kobe Bryant traded to Chicago Bulls"	(19)
		Barry Bonds: "You can't, you cannot give people the freedom, the right to alter history. You can't do it. There's no such thing as an asterisk in baseball."	(77)
		San Francisco Giants GM says chances of getting A-Rod "a reach," making Fark headline writers everywhere quiver with joy at the opportunities	(20)
		Virginia Tech quarterback beats Georgia Tech... while wearing a Georgia Tech jersey. Bonus: His name was written on the back with a Sharpee	(43)
		Last week: The New Jersey Nets trade Bernard Robinson, Mile Ilic, and cash to New Orleans for David Wesley, then tell him not to report. This week: They put him on waivers	(10)

		Detroit pitcher Joel Zumaya out until midseason by having a heavy box fall on shoulder evacuating parents from California wildfires	(36)
		Little known facts about the Pats and Colts: "Bill Belichick is such a genius, he nearly compiled a .500 record with the Cleveland Browns"	(49)
		Patriots only ones running up scores? 49-14, 41-10, 41-9, 51-24. These lopsided victories brought to you by the '04 Indy Colts	(171)
		Minor league baseball team extends a contract offer to A-Rod	(29)
		Drinking beer after exercise found to be better for you than drinking water	(121)
		It's official: Joe Torre will manage the Los Angeles Dodgers	(42)
(Some Guy)		Indianapolis Colts win 52.8% of the time when a computer simulates Colts v. Patriots game. This announcement brought to you by the Manning Advertisement Corporation	(46)
		Son of Eagles' coach Andy Reid tries smuggling 89 pills into prison in his rectum, making him his father's favorite wide receiver	(42)
		Joe Girardi effectively guarantees the Yankees won't win a 27th championship anytime soon by choosing to wear the #27	(31)
		Los Angeles Lakers owner Jerry Buss suspended two games for conviction on misdemeanor drunk driving charge. In other news, you can suspend a non-participant from a game	(15)
		Rutgers, which has won 9 football games in a season once since 1979, planning $100M stadium expansion that will cost $7,692.31 per seat	(22)
		"Born to Run" banninated by USA Track & Field	(32)
(Some Guy)		Lawsuit alleges that Japanese man surreptitiously took photographs of Maria Sharapova's crotch. Hot tennis chick thread in 4...3...2	(48)
		Martina Hingis tests positive for cocaine, plans to retire from tennis	(53)
		Steve Spurrier knows exactly what he would have done when Georgia players cleared the bench to celebrate a touchdown against Florida: "Start a fight"	(62)
		Chicago Bears GM Jerry Angelo says that you can't blame any one person for their miserable start, they just suck as a team	(56)
		Bud Selig gives Los Angeles Dodgers a special exemption from having to interview the token minority candidate that they weren't going to hire anyway	(28)
		Oh, sure, dress up as your boss naked and everyone has to be a critic	(58)
(NY Daily News)		A-Rod's agent blames Yankees ace closer for A-Rod's post-season non-clutch hitting problems. In other news: did the Red Sox win something the other day?	(136)
		Cincinnati Reds pick up Adam Dunn's $13 million dollar option for next year which guarantees he'll be traded sometime in July when they're out of the playoffs	(26)
		What's wrong with Sports Illustrated -- and how to fix it	(64)
(Patriot-News)		That video of Penn State fans harassing those poor Ohio State fans? Turns out it's just some good old frat boy hijinks, no actual Ohio State fans were insulted	(46)
		Kobe Bryant objects to any trade to Chicago Bulls that has the Lakers receiving Luol Deng. Apparently Kobe's enormous ego requires Deng as a satellite to orbit his head	(48)
		Lost: The final ball from game 4 of the World Series, last seen in the hands of Jonathon Papelbon	(40)

		Torre's done deal with the Dodgers may be delayed by MLB minority hiring policy	(32)
		A new book alleges that not only did the 1962 UK football team throw a game to Xavier, the players gave "gay oral sex" for money, proving they once sucked like Duke	(48)
		Pete Rose no longer dreams of entering the Hall of Fame, has now returned to his previous dreams of having the Reds win the World Series at 500 to 1 odds against	(11)
		Arkansas star running back Darren McFadden dresses as Fred Flintstone for Halloween; Coach Houston Nutt apparently refuses Wilma costume (with pic)	(7)
		Kobe Bryant's sexual proclivities called into question on Miami sports radio station; Guess that's what happens when you hire 2 Live Crew rapper Luther Campbell as host	(8)
		Like a virgin in a whorehouse, Houston Rockets pick up option for Head	(5)
		In a shocking turn of events, Tennessee and UConn are atop the NCAA Women's Basketball preseason poll	(22)
		Jaguars' Marcus Stroud to be banned for violating NFL's steroid policy. In other news, McDonald's has started putting steroids in their food	(8)
		MLB players are given two days notice to get their whizzinator ready according to a report by the New York Times	(17)
		Kansas prep school football team jumps out to 72-0 lead in first quarter, shows Bill Belichick the right way to sit on a lead	(47)
		Curt Schilling lists 13 teams that have a Wendy's close-by that he'd be willing to play for next season	(62)
		Scalper sues Colorado Rockies when online World Series ticket order is cancelled, Rockies actually settle	(38)
		Indianapolis Colts to raffle off five Super Bowl rings. Jim Kelly, Thurman Thomas, Andre Reed, Bruce Smith, and Scott Norwood seen pooling their money	(46)
		White Sox coach Joey Cora will interview for the vacant position of Captain of the Titanic	(15)
(NY Daily News)		Mets to David Wright: Ixnay on the A-Rod-way	(23)
		San Diego Padre's Mike Cameron suspended 25 games next season for failing a stimulant test	(9)
		Motor racing supremo says Hamilton may be bad for F1 because he is too good. Heaven forbid someone decent might take part, he might overtake a Ferrari	(32)
		Atlanta Falcons' streak of 56 straight sellouts could be going to the dogs	(17)
		Houston Rockets hold off Los Angeles Kobes, 95-93. Kobe Bryant scores 45, while the rest of the team only scores 48	(65)
		Former major league All-Star Jose Offerman given probation after attacking two opposing players with a bat	(9)
		Video of Penn State frat boys stupid enough to upload a video of themselves chucking full beer cans at Ohio State fans and physically attacking them	(93)
		Sports marketer sues Reggie Bush and his family to recoup $300,000... that he improperly gave them while Bush was at USC	(30)
		So, who wants a high-priced, hard-throwing pitcher to add to their disabled list?	(12)
		Now the Boston papers are saying it too: if the Patriots keep running up the score, someone is bound to take a cheap shot at Brady	(349)
		Nevada basketball player who was beaten unconscious and robbed at party where three other people were shot to death has been kicked off the team for violating team curfew	(9)
		Old & busted: Dodgers leave Brooklyn for LA. New hotness: Torre, Mattingly (and maybe A-Rod) leave the Yankees for the Dodgers	(28)
		Arizona Rattlers arena-football team offers season ticket buyers a money-back guarantee that they'll make the playoffs next year. Arizona Cardinals counter with guarantee that they've already been eliminated from next year's playoffs	(5)
		Free agent Pavlovic signs 3-year contract with Cavaliers, drools on command	(10)
(Some Guy)		Attention MLB GMs: You may now purchase one order of a large baconator. Unless you're the Yankees' GM, that is	(27)

		Simulation predicts Patriots over Colts 31-27. Also gives Pats 60% chance to go undefeated if they win Sunday, 97% chance of giving Peter King buttermilk-induced orgasm	(76)
		♪ You put your Losman in ♪ You put your Losman out ♪ You put your Losman in ♪ And you shake him all about ♪	(14)
		Sam Dana, NFL's oldest former player who once played with Lou Gehrig, touches down in heaven after 104 years	(18)
		NBA Opening Night discussion thread. Red Sox fans heard whining about the timing of the NBA season stealing the spotlight from their teams accomplishments	(82)
(NASCAR.com)		The 8th seal was broken, and lo, Dale Earnhardt Jr. tested in a Hendrick car for the first time	(21)
		Week 9 NFL power rankings, with No. 1 Patriots and No. 2 Colts ready to face off this Sunday... just in case you hadn't heard yet	(75)
		Detroit Lions QB Jon Kitna's Halloween costume goofs on Lions assistant coach who was recently ticketed by police for driving while nude (with pic)	(16)
(Some Guy)		Curt Schilling writes farewell letters to teammates. In future news, he'll soon angrily deny writing the letters, claim he was misquoted, then shout, "What happens in the clubhouse stays in the clubhouse. You never played the game"	(27)
		Expert says Mets' new stadium has bad feng shui, recommends improvement through simple placement of Johan Santana on their pitcher's mound	(40)
(Some Guy)		Boxing organization hopes to add ticket surcharge to start boxing pension fund. Muhammad Ali shakes his head in agreement	(24)
		NBA regular season begins tonight. NBA games actually worth bothering to watch expected to begin some time in late March or early April	(71)
		High demand for Beijing Olympics tickets crashes server after only eight hours... which is still seven hours and 50 minutes longer than the Colorado Rockies' World Series ticket website lasted	(9)
		On the first day of free agency, the New York Mets choke away six players	(30)
		Torre, A-Rod, Mattingly, Guidry all leave the Yankees the same week the Red Sox win their second World Series in four years. The Evil Empire is dead, long live the new Evil Empire	(81)
(TwinCities.com)		After watching Kelly Holcomb and Brooks Bollinger combine for a whopping 182 yards against Philadelphia, Jeff George calls up the Vikings and offers to come out of six-year retirement	(24)
(Some Guy)		Did Darth Belichick plan it all along? Did he want to get caught? Is he an evil genius? Or is New England just a bunch of cheating hacks?	(149)
		50,000,000,000,000,000,000 fans expected to attend 2014 World Cup	(55)
		Thanks to Jacoby Ellsbury, between 2:00 p.m. and 5:00 p.m. today, you can get free gas	(20)
		Bill Simmons calls Boston beating Cleveland and Colorado "improbable" and closes with a gooey story that makes Robin Williams' post-Oscar dramatic work look positively restrained	(170)
(NFL.com)		Brett Favre throws an 82-yard-touchdown pass in overtime to beat the Denver Broncos. In other news, there has finally been a Monday Night game worth watching	(146)
		Scott Boras apologizes for being an asshat	(50)
(Journal News)		Joe Torre expected to be named manager of Los Angeles Dodgers, bring Don Mattingly with him as bench coach	(86)

		FIFA votes to end the rotation system for hosting the World Cup, meaning that they can continue to send it to the US over and over in a futile attempt to make Americans like soccer	(116)
		Tony Romo can now afford a small African nation	(100)
		If you play for the Falcons, Eagles, Ravens, Cardinals, or Seahawks, you might -- assuming your team has a mascot -- be allowed to show fans a bird. Otherwise, no	(19)
		Detroit Tigers acquire SS Edgar Renteria from the Braves in exchange for a sack of magic beans	(73)
(Some ist)		The other 29 NHL teams were all salivating over Washington's Semin. Fortunately, Washington avoided a sticky mess	(23)
		Pennington out as Jets starting QB. Vinny Testaverde urges him to wait 15 years, then come back	(16)
		Washington interested in trading for Kobe Bryant, could offer Arenas and a few concession stands	(12)
		Chopra wins first PGA tour event, total consciousness	(11)
		A dancing Papelbon with the Dropkick Murphys behind him will headline the Red Sox's victory celebration on Tuesday	(32)
		Colorado Rockies owner already predicting World Series win in 2008	(34)
		Tbilisi athlete pulls helicopter with his ears. Emergency airdrop of "better things to do with spare time" book and DVD planned for area	(4)
		Peter King declares Patriots-Colts a bigger rivalry than Yankees-Red Sox before rubbing Tom Brady's hamstrings with warm buttermilk	(96)
		Texans score 45 points against the Chargers, with 10 of them actually going to the Texans	(17)
		Minnesota Timberwolves employ new strategy to confuse opponents: midgets	(57)
		Jim Sorgi will continue to have the best job in the world for at least three more years	(13)
		The answer is 37. If you guessed that the question was, "How many Red Sox fans were arrested while celebrating their World Series victory?" you'd be correct	(42)
(some paintballer)		LA Ironmen beat the Boston Legion in stunning victory to take the World Cup title in paintball... must be tough being a sports fan in New England right now	(21)
		David Beckham will play in a special charity match for Los Angeles Galaxy to raise money for those affected by the wildfires in southern California. And of course by "play" we mean "clap encouragingly from the bench"	(31)
		White smoke emerges from Yankee Stadium	(72)
(People)		Tony Romo parties with Britney Spears, seeks that ever-coveted NFL Valtrex endorsement deal	(44)
		Come one Giants fans. You didn't really think that the Manning who broke Johnny Unitas' TD mark had the first name of Eli, did you?	(53)
		A-Rod opts out	(267)
		Children attending soccer school in Nanny State forbidden from wearing soccer boots as they are "too dangerous"	(15)
(Some Poor Guy)		Jordan's Monster Deal: Free Furniture if the Red Sox win the Series. Seemed like a good idea last March. Tonight, not so much	(79)
		Bostowned	(496)
(Scene daily)		Georgia may be in the midst of a bad drought, but several NASCAR drivers had plenty of water at todays Atlanta race.....it was in their gas	(16)