In hockey news, Buffalo Sabres defeat NY Rangers, to play Ottawa Senators in the Eastern Conference Finals for a television audience of 6	(24)
		The unwritten rules of major sports	(46)
		Noted mis-speaker Yogi Berra will give the commencement address at St. Louis University on May 19. If you don't learn nothing how can you learn anything?	(45)
		Panera Bread offers 13 free bagels whenever the Kansas Royals win by 13 hits. 111,000 bagels later, they realize they didn't think their cunning plan all the way through	(21)
		Arsenal draw Chelsea 1-1, Manchester United wins the Premiership	(14)
(Some Guy)		So how long before ESPN2 picks this up?	(20)
		Roger Clemens announces to Yankee Stadium Crowd, he's a Yankee	(251)
		England's top soccer league is suing Youtube	(12)
		Who needs the NBA or NFL? Town finds attracting Pee-Wee sports can provide bigger economic boost	(9)
		Former #1, Kim Clijsters, retires from tennis at age of 23	(18)
		Mariners pitcher Julio Cesar Mateo expected to surrender to NY police after telling his wife to shut her whore mouth when men are speaking	(17)
		0-6 in playoff performances, Houston Rockets guard Tracy McGrady too upset to speak with media after losing series to Utah (video)	(36)
(Some Guy)		Floyd Mayweather Jr. wanted to give Oscar De La Hoya a beating. He had to settle for just getting a win	(17)
		Barry Bonds injects some excitement into AT&T Park with home run #744*	(20)
		Yanks' Wang just misses perfection	(31)

(Sportsline)		The big fight: De La Hoya vs Mayweather discussion thread	(477)
		Cardinals see Wood and Prior, raise with Carpenter and Mulder	(13)
		Street Sense goes from 19th to 1st in final 1/2 mile to win the 133rd Kentucky Derby	(54)
		Wings 4-1 over Sharks. How's your handicap coming, Av's fans?	(46)
(Some Guy)		Brady Quinn gets a haircut to fend off criticism from Joe Theismann	(17)
(MLB.com)		At a combined 93 years of age, Julio Franco and Randy Johnson become the oldest batter-pitcher matchup in MLB history	(12)
		English Premier League lawyers up to stop YouTube from showing clips of Rooney spitting and Drogba putting on his makeup	(3)
		The Red Sox moving to the top of this week's power poll shouldn't surprise anyone, but if you predicted the Milwaukee Brewers would be the sixth-best team in baseball, there's a job in a Vegas sports book waiting for you	(45)
(NBA.com)		NBA round 1/round 2 discussion thread. Rockets/Jazz and Pistons/Bulls. Let's go Rockebulls LGT scoreboard	(69)
		May 5th NHL playoffs thread - Sharks at Wings and Sens at Devils. Insert cheerleading phrase here	(401)
		The penultimate official English Premiership Saturday discussion forum (LGT match submitter is watching)	(16)
(Some Guy)		Place your bets, 133rd annual Kentucky Derby discussion thread	(57)
		Caption what Oscar de la Hoya and Floyd Mayweather Jr. are thinking, at the weigh-in for tonight's big fight	(124)
		First photo of transsexual sportswriter Christine Daniels published on Los Angeles Times website	(42)
		Sabres squeak one out, blame it on the dog	(53)
		St. Louis Cardinals ban alcohol in the clubhouse after it was revealed Josh Hancock was legally drunk when he died. However, Tony LaRussa doesn't think the team has an alco- (hic) an alcohol problem	(17)
(Sporting Life)		Michelle Wie no longer to take on men, will do girl-on-girl only	(24)
(Some Guy)		Jeff Gordon grabs another pole. No, wait, this one allows him to start first in a NASCAR race	(16)

		Cincinnati Bengals' off-field notoriety safely intact, thanks to Chad Johnson allegedly reneging on prize giveaways	(7)
		Today's college quarterback homoerotic-themed photo is brought to you by Florida Gator Tim Tebow	(22)
		Not news: Leeds United relegated; News: They go into administration; Fark: Chairman buys club back writing off $70M debt in process	(24)
(TSN.ca)		Fudge it Frenchies Canadian captain Shane Doan scores a hat trick in the IIHF world championship	(16)
		Arrrgh...Former Chiefs running back Christian Okoye to be plundering for booty in a new pirate reality show	(17)
(Some Hockey Loving Girl)		Where's my damn May 4th NHL thread? Its noon on Friday and I don't want to have to work	(237)
		If you thought Josh Hancock might have been drunk before his accident, you'd be right. Marijuana and a pipe? Oh, there was that, too	(70)
		After not making the playoffs for second straight year, Maple Leafs start off-season moves by raising ticket prices	(20)
		Bob Costas mentioned as Imus replacement; probably a no-go, since it'd cut into his once-every-four-years work schedule	(27)
		Ron Mexico wants you to know he breeds pit bulls for pets, not for fighting	(16)
		Today's Official NBA playoff thread brought to you by.LET'S GO RAPTORS V.C. SUCKS	(56)
(Esquire (US))		Going to an Old Firm game makes US list of 60 things worth shortening your life for. "Imagine: Red Sox versus Yankees, if the ALCS involved sectarian hatred, hooligan rioting, and the occasional death threat"	(18)
		Floyd Landis' attempt to lobby for a public Tour de France doping trial has been met with positive results	(48)
		Sammy Sosa takes another fastball to the head. Welcome back to the big leagues, Corky	(21)
		Once-bitter FSU fans decide they want to keep Bobby Bowden after all. Ask them again in November	(17)
(WSBtv)		Internet pics circulating with UGA QB's new strength program which consists of hoisting kegs	(15)
		Matt Leinart dumps top marketing firm because Peyton Manning got to host SNL before he did	(36)
		There once was team called the Mavericks. Their tall German shot nothing but bricks. It's not just Dirk. The owner's a jerk. Props to the Warriors in six	(122)
		John Facenda Jr. (i.e. the son of the voice of God on NFL films) sues NFL for illegally using his father's voice in Madden NFL video games	(13)
		NCAA tentatively approves moving 3-point line back a foot	(8)
		Ducks take Western Conference semifinals from Canucks	(47)
		Glorified towel boy could blow the lid off the MLB steroids controversy	(17)
		Cubs consider banning post-game beer from the clubhouse; over-under on how many players will sober up and be horrified to learn they're playing for the Cubs is 12	(18)

		Joe Sakic, you bastard. You made this kid cry	(34)
		Louisville gives Rick Pitino 3-year contract extension. Terms are $2.25 million a year and unlimited supply of hair grease	(7)
		A pit-bull breeding website owned by Michael Vick has as its business address the same house where his cousins were, completely and utterly unknown to him, having dogfights	(17)
		The Ron Artest Interactive Fan Experience will move to PMITA prison for 20 days	(10)
		New study show Fark doesnt like Blacksketball. In other words can we have an NBA playoff thread???	(315)
		Chelsea's Sheva to have groin surgery at season's end. Doctors hope to relocate his balls, which have been AWOL since he left the San Siro	(9)
		First sentance explains a lot regarding Mike Piazza's goals to stay healthy, homosexuality. Oh and he, like everyone else on the A's, is on the DL	(15)
		Mysterious basketball and bible-versed billboard has Cleveland buzzing (with pic)	(65)
		May 3rd NHL playoff thread. Will the Ducks suck or are the 'Nucks f*cked?	(217)
		San Jose Sharks coach Ron Wilson uses "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby," as a motivational tool for his team. Shake and Bake	(22)
(Jack's Sports Humor)		Kentucky Derby horse names and their alternate sports meanings	(13)
		NCAA may extend the 3-point line, making Duke suck even more	(19)
		Manny Ramirez asks Red Sox to let him work from home	(19)
		Kenny Mayne is giving out money left and right. Now would be a good time to ask him to sponsor the Fark Bowling Team	(11)
(Buffalo News)		Apparently out of real cases to try, New York state supreme court justice issues verdict on Buffalo Sabres controversial no goal. "The circumstantial evidence was overwhelming"	(51)
		Charlotte PGA Tour event lures top players like Phil Mickelson to play by embroidering his children's names in hotel pillows and towels	(4)
(WFAN)		The Yankees should learn from the Tigers on how to handle Phil Hughes	(17)
		Judge orders Red Sox ticket scalper to name names	(20)
(MyFoxBoston)		Tom Brady spotted wearing Yankees hat, City of Boston calls in airstrike	(161)
		After the Lakers exit the playoffs early again, speculation begins on what big-name player can be brought in for Kobe to refuse to pass the ball to and eventually run out of town	(43)
		Josh Beckett becomes MLB's first six game winner, receives congratulatory reach-around from Schilling after the game	(13)
		The Kenyan who slipped and fell on the Chicago Marathon finishing line takes the first step towards US citizenship: he's suing	(98)
		Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal on positively the weirdest tennis court you'll ever see	(6)
		Former NFL player arraigned on assault charge. Guess his former team	(14)
(Bleacher Report)		A breakdown of where Clemens might end up, and why: "Giambi is even constantly texting Clemens to 'hurry up.'"	(29)
		This is the aunt of Cleveland Browns OT Joe Thomas (pic must be seen to be believed)	(19)
		743*	(30)
		The top golfing 100 non-golfers in sports	(19)

		Warrior's fans, upset at Charles Barkley's anti-Bay Area rantings, use Photoshop for sweet revenge	(18)
		New CBS reality series features former Kansas City Chief running back playing pirate for first time since last Raider game	(7)
(Peter Abraham)		Lord Steinbrenner: "You have failed me for the last time" Yankees trainer: "Gaaaaaaack" *thud*	(76)
		Milan advances to the finals of the UEFA Champions League to play Liverpool. No, this is not a repeat	(25)
		Nike icons Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan play PGA Tour Pro-Am round together; Jordan doesn't wear Nike gear or play Nike clubs (with pics)	(13)
		MLB denies Cleveland Indians' protest after umpire adjusts score three innings after mistake. Cleveland promptly requests correcting seasons 1949-2006	(18)
		Milwaukee Brewers roll out a 12 person beer bong at the beginning of the season, now they have the best record in baseball. Coincidence? I think not	(15)
		Study shows Fark.com greenlights more headlines about "white" sports than "black" sports. Study also shows there are NBA fans on Fark. Can I get an NBA discussion thread? LGN	(139)
		Dolphins may keep Daunte Culpepper. After all, that clipboard ain't gonna hold itself	(16)
		Official May 2nd NHL playoff thread	(697)
		Remember 64-0 softball massacre from March? In rematch, loss is only by 2 touchdowns instead of 9	(17)
(The Courier-Journal)		Unbeaten Curlin installed as morning line favorite for this year's Kentucky Derby	(7)
		No one from ESPN will talk to Harold Reynolds about why he was fired, and his case against them doesn't come up for trial untill 2009. Maybe by then, Mel Kiper Jr. will have a new hairstyle	(24)
		NHL playoffs may be disrupted in Ottawa due to striking arena workers being torn apart by a mob of Sens fans	(29)
		Having solved all other problems facing the country, Canadian Parliament opens investigation into selection of captain of the national hockey team	(68)
(KOTV.com)		Study shows white NBA refs call more fouls on black players than white players. Study also shows there are white players in the NBA	(196)
		Liverpool goalkeeper Pepe Reina comes home late after celebrating his team's Champions League semifinal victory, only to find his house ransacked and his Porsche SUV stolen. At least he'll never walk alone	(13)
		Official 5/2 Champions League Thread: Man United and their tenuous 3-2 lead travel to the San Siro to face AC Milan in the second leg of their semifinal. Kickoff 2:30pm EDT. Winner plays Liverpool in the final May 23 in Athens	(226)
		If you've been banned from Talladega... for the rest of your life... you might be a redneck	(34)
		NBA-branded area of "Second Life" is the real thing, with David Stern saying, "Anyone who misbehaves will be subject to discipline by the commissioner’s avatar"	(9)
		Warriors topple top-seeded Mavs in a thrilling triumph for the little guy. Just kidding... they blew a late lead and the Mavs are still in contention	(45)
		Apparently, "reversing the curse" meant putting it on the Yankees -- 20-year-old phenom Philip Hughes injures hamstring during no-hitter	(35)
		The Sports Guy ruminates on the upcoming awkwardness of presenting Dirk Nowitzki with the 2006-2007 MVP Award when his 67-15 team loses in the first round to an No. 8 seed	(13)
		San Antonio Spur falls for the old hard-drive switcheroo. The Smoking Gun is there	(14)
(The Age)		Federer, Nadal to settle who's better on clay/grass	(14)

		Not News: Man gets out of jury duty. News: It's former Cowboys coach Jimmy Johnson. Fark: He got off to go fishing with Bill Parcells	(5)
		No Papelbon, you cannot go the whole year without a blown save, not yours	(38)
		There's no "I" in "team". There's no Me-shawn Johnson in the Carolina Panthers, either	(37)
		One month after getting suspended by ESPN for telling Jim Rome to "suck my d---", Eric Wynalda calls Rome "Kim" on DC morning show today	(45)
		NTSB releases final report on Corey Lidle's plane crash last October, blaming accident on the fact he couldn't fly any better than he pitched	(9)
		Cardinals pitcher Josh Hancock was part of a two-hitter 3 days before his fatal accident	(10)
		Top five NHL playoff coaching tantrums	(38)
(Some Pundit)		Kentucky Derby predictions beyond "I'll be drunk all de doo dar day"	(20)
(Some Cheeky Guy)		Today's "newspaper editor decides to get a little cheeky" headline brought to you by "Royals to Get a Taste of Angels' Colon"	(24)
		Not 24 hours after the NFL draft, the character issues start coming out: Bears' first-round pick records offensive rap song, and not in the Vanilla Ice meaning of offensive	(90)
		Official 5/1 Champions League Thread. Reds vs Blues at Anfield	(183)
		May 1st NHL Playoff thread. Will the Rangers or Canucks tie it up, or will subby's picks continue to look better and better?	(315)
		Here's the TV hottie who sent steamy emails to NFL Network's Rich Eisen... and his rather annoyed wife	(38)
		Former NY Giants receiver Johnny Perkins passes	(4)
		Manchester Utd fans travelling to Milan for Champions League semifinal warned of security threat from AS Roma's Ultras	(15)
		If you're sports anchor Rich Eisen and you want that hot reporter from Philly to send bikini pics, don't give her the email address you share with your wife. Wife's email response in TFA	(39)
		Minnesota Twins executive on hosting "peanut-free" night: "If you're allergic to peanuts and you're trying to enjoy the game and the gentleman next to you is eating that bag of peanuts, it could be fatal"	(141)
		Soccer mascot thrown out of game because he was confusing the referee	(20)
		Mariners second baseman can make $625,000 by skipping Dairy Queen drive-thru	(7)
		Home-plate umpire gives Albert Pujols first base after Pujols draws ball three. In other news, if umpires keep doing this, Pujols is due to draw 300 walks in 2007	(16)
		Italian authorities ban sale of alcohol in shops throughout Milan because of threat of trouble between Manchester United and AC Milan fans. Try doing this during the Super Bowl, and you've got an instant riot	(10)
		University of Kentucky athletic director wants school to buy private plane for recruiting trips; budgets $300,000 this year for chartered air travel	(22)
(Some Guy)		If you build replicas of eight famous ballparks, they will come	(10)

		Customer at St. Louis bar says Cardinals pitcher Josh Hancock could 'barely put a sentence together' and refused a cab ride before his fatal crash later that night	(48)
(Some Guy)		Cincinnati Reds to retire Dave Concepcion's number 13	(30)
(NFL)		Meet the this year's Mr. Irrelevant	(9)
(Some Guy)		Brady Quinn's girlfriend plans to stay with him for awhile. Translation: "She won't be single until at least November, at the earliest"	(31)
		Caption Cool Big Papi and his little fan	(79)
		Steinbrenner gives Joe Torre the dreaded vote of confidence	(21)
(The Desert Sun)		Female amateur golfer, just a regular local duffer, makes 8 witnessed holes-in-ones in 14 weeks. Even Kim Jong-Il is impressed	(19)
		The NHL may have saved half of its viewing audience and even may have gained some fans with the thrilling 2-1 2OT Rangers win on national TV	(93)
		Hoping to build on a tidal wave of recent success, the Chicago Bears sign another U of Florida system-made QB with trouble reading defenses	(31)
		Even Peter King agrees that the Browns having the best draft day is one of the signs of the Apocalypse	(36)
(Fox Sports)		Former Seattle TE Stevens to drop easy passes in Tampa Bay this year. Says he's ready for the brutal heat and longer happy hours in Florida	(13)
(MLB.com)		A-Rod finishes historic April with .355 average, 14 HRs and 34 RBIs, all while leading the Yankees to the bottom of the AL East and the third-worst record in baseball	(55)
		"We needed the win like a pig needs slop." The unassisted triple play didn't hurt either (w/ video)	(12)
		World Cup 2010 contingency plans include the possibility of moving the tournament to the United States	(48)
		April 30th NHL playoff thread. Senators hosting the Devils, Sharks hosting the Wings, and the 19th Hole Bar & Grill hosting the Leafs	(457)
		NFL Draft day drop costs Brady Quinn $17,000,000; On the bright side, at least he gets to live in Cleveland	(77)
		Arsenal Board of Directors to Stan Kroenke: We will not sell you the team	(13)
		Mark Cuban officially on suicide watch as 8th-seeded Warriors take 3-game-to-1 lead over top-seeded 67-15 Mavericks	(94)
(mlb.com)		Troy Tulowitzki of the Colorado Rockies turns the 13th unassisted triple play in MLB history	(14)