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What happens when a 438-pound Wisconsin beekeeper decides to run the Boston Marathon? |
(17) |
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Having cut back to 10 spliffs a day, Ricky Williams applies for reinstatement |
(15) |
| (leader board after round 3) |
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The 2007 Masters Tournament final round discussion thread. The 102-year old woman is not impressed |
(159) |
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Spartans win NCAA hockey title. Suck it Wolverines |
(43) |
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MLS ABC soccer analyst Eric Wynalda now suspended for making profane comments about Jim Rome |
(37) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Sid the Kid. Youngest player ever to win the NHL scoring title |
(64) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Former Chicago Bulls center Luc Longley saves family and friends from fire all BY HIMSELF. Touchdown |
(40) |
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What do you do if you're a 102 year old woman who scored a hole in one? Depends |
(16) |
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Man swims Amazon. Fark.com: lengthways |
(34) |
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Smoltz > Glavine |
(28) |
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Down to his last strike in the bottom of the ninth inning, A-Rod hits walkoff grand slam to win the game |
(42) |
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Indian cricket coach says he's not feeling well after his team is knocked out of World Cup |
(5) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Official Cricket World Cup discussion thread. Bangladesh v South Africa. The chase is on |
(21) |
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Arsenal loses at home for the first time this season. It's official, without Thierry Henry, Arsenal sucks |
(26) |
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Toronto Raptors clinch first-ever Atlantic Division title, one year after having the first pick in the draft |
(30) |
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Miami QB Daunte Culpepper, despite a terrible 2006 season, "still sees himself as the starter." This news obviously thrills Dolphins fans to no end, as they prepare to catch 5-11 fever in 2007 |
(16) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Here's the only pitcher in baseball that can relieve himself |
(25) |
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Masters day 3 discussion thread |
(46) |
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Nuggets end Mavericks dream of tying season wins record, will have to settle for a playoff choke |
(31) |
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Page 2 presents MLB's all-overpaid team. A-Rod strangely missing from list |
(59) |
| (NZ Herald) |
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Cricket brings in the noise, funk |
(3) |
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Teenagers compete in the obscure sport of finger jousting at the World Finger Jousting Federation's Majigger at the Mall event in this video recap |
(42) |
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Red Wings sign Datsyuk to a 7 year contract. Guaranteeing another 7 years of watching the Red Wings turn goalies inside out |
(32) |
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| (I like both.) |
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Canadiens play the Leafs to decide who goes to the playoffs tomorrow. Us American Hockey fans are going to invite the Soccer fans and split a 12-pack between all six of us |
(123) |
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Mets beat the crap out of the defending champs three times in a row. So of course, ESPN says the best team is... the Yankees? You mean the Yankees that just lost to Tampa Bay? |
(43) |
| (Sports Network) |
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Joe Thornton becomes third player in NHL history (after Wayne Gretzky and Mario Lemieux) to post back-to-back 90-assist seasons |
(27) |
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Colorado Avalanche's late season 14-1-2 run will mean nothing when the Edmonton Giver-Uppers play Calgary |
(22) |
| (Rocky Mountain News) |
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Peter Forsberg to play first game in Colorado as an opponent, plans on seeing all his old doctors |
(12) |
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David Carr agrees to end his career with the Carolina Panthers |
(27) |
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The White Sox bullpen throws nearly 20 innings in three games, so they decide to postpone tonight's game due to "weather" |
(34) |
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The Godfather of the Phoenix Suns and Arizona Diamondbacks may give the Tribune Co. an offer they can't refuse |
(15) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Chicago Bears DB Devin Hester is the first player to get a "100 speed" rating in "Madden 08." Still no cure for crappy quarterbacks |
(41) |
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"Drunk English fans walking around the town hours before the game, and Italian thugs with knives hunting for them. Everything as predicted" |
(5) |
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So, how about those Leafs/Canadiens/Islanders (pick one)? Last playoff spot thread. Here comes the suckage |
(90) |
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"Never before has such a fuss been made over beating the Royals" |
(37) |
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Spurs beat Suns while Robert Horry logs another DNP due to old age |
(24) |
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Let the annual speculation about Arsenal selling Thierry Henry begin. Barcelona's opening "bid"? £20. The Sun is there |
(18) |
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Texas A&M coach heading to Kentucky because Farkers told him Duke sucks |
(58) |
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The University of Florida is No. 1 in basketball and football and making a run at No. 1 in offseason arrests as second football player is arrested this week |
(12) |
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Don Imus calls the Rutgers girls basketball team "some nappy headed ho's." It went over very well and no one was offended |
(39) |
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Man U's Ferdinand says Champions League referees are ignorant and "treat players like rubbish" |
(8) |
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Tigers-Blue Jays game postponed due to global warming |
(16) |
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Man U says Italian police forced them to clutch their knees in pain |
(13) |
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Martin Brodeur sets NHL single-season win record with his 48th victory |
(89) |
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Cubs lose again... Lou Pinella meltdown threat advisory elevated from Yellow to Orange |
(22) |
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England blames Italy. Italy blames England. England calls Italy a poopiehead. Italy tells England their mother was a hamster and their father smelled of elderberries |
(17) |
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Daisuke Matsuzaka wins Red Sox debut, allows one run, strikes out ten, gets free frogurt. That's good |
(38) |
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A month after stating emphatically that he had no interest in buying into Arsenal, U.S. billionaire Stan Kroenke buys ITV's 10-percent stake in Arsenal |
(7) |
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New Hampshire baseball team asks fans to shovel out stadium, offering free tickets to a game. One person shows up |
(49) |
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Reports have Bob Huggins leaving Kansas State after one season to coach WVU. Goals at WVU may include actually having one of his players graduate, keeping BAC under .08 |
(28) |
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MLB officials investigating Angels pitcher, Francisco Rodriguez, for cheating. They read it on the Internet, it's got to be true |
(12) |
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Arkansas fan requests Houston Nutt's cellphone records through the Freedom of Information Act and winds up with a copy. Hilarity ensues |
(13) |
| (AOL Sports Blog) |
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AOL Sports Blog gives a shout-out to Fark. Hi guys! |
(8) |
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Not satisfied wrecking the marriage of just one woman, Milfhunter Bill Belichick now gunking up another coupling (with pic) |
(16) |
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Football coach who weighed 500 lbs loses half his body weight in a year; Credits switching from McGriddles to McMuffins |
(8) |
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Tiger Woods is so good, he'll even beat you at the fart game |
(10) |
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More Oklahoma players come forward with details of cheating. OU officials would fear subpoenas if they could just spell it |
(17) |
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Philadelphia Phillies continue to meet and exceed all expectations by blowing a 2-0 lead in the 8th inning |
(17) |
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Ken Griffey Jr. will wear the number 42 in honor of Jackie Robinson. Wants to remember the first black player to ever be put on the D.L |
(12) |
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Fifteen St. Louis cops disciplined with pay reductions for taking World Series tickets from scalping suspects and giving them to friends and family. Luckily, they are cops, because getting caught stealing would mean jail time for the average joe |
(14) |
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Billy Donovan's greasy ass crewcut staying at Florida |
(44) |
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Asante Samuel joins Lance Briggs on the list of athletes who are insulted -- insulted, I say! -- by their team's offer of more than $7 million a year |
(37) |
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Chicago Blackhawks unable to give away free tickets. At least nobody in Chicago is able to see a nearly empty stadium on TV |
(60) |
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Kentucky's pursuit of Florida's Billy Donovan is underway. Duke sucks |
(22) |
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It's the official UEFA Cup quarter final first leg discussion forum where we will discuss Tottenham, Tottenham, and maybe some Bayern, but Sevilla is right out |
(89) |
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Ice girls want New York Rangers called for slapping their squeegees and spitting on them during TV time outs |
(44) |
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Mathematician claims the Yankees will 110 games this season. He proves it with his model that makes perfect sense |
(30) |
| (LA Dodgers) |
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Playing first base for the Dodgers, No. 42. Playing second base for the Dodgers, No. 42. Pitching for the Dodgers, No. 42. Here's to you, Mr. Robinson |
(27) |
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Former NFL receiver Darryl Stingley had died. Reports are he went peacefully and didn't feel a thing |
(55) |
| (www.IHT.com) |
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Chinese sports official says he wants no doping scandals before Beijing Olympics. In other news, people in hell want ice water |
(3) |
| (mlb.com) |
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Remember the greenlight about the Pirates being already eliminated from the postseason? Yeah, they just swept the Astros to start the year 3-0 |
(40) |
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Denver Broncos cheerleading hopeful referred to Green Bay, as she might more easily appeal to and be appreciated by the locals |
(15) |
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Mets get revenge against Cardinals for ending their season last year, sweep opening series and outscoring them 20-2. Now plan to sic little kid from "The Grudge" on the Braves |
(47) |
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735* |
(47) |
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Playboy Enterprises is in the running to buy the Chicago Cubs. Interested in adding 25 more boobs to the company |
(11) |
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Manchester United fans get the crap beat out of them by police. The Sun is there |
(13) |
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Major League Baseball to unretire Jackie Robinson's number for one day to mark the 60th anniversary of his breaking of the color barrier |
(27) |
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Despite leading Florida to back-to-back national championships, Joakim Noah was not selected in today's WNBA draft |
(24) |
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Bud Selig made $14.5 million in '05. Still trails A-Rod as most overpaid for doing nothing in MLB |
(26) |
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SF Giants off to a great start: Reliever Vinnie Chulk leads team in homeruns, RBIs and runs scored with zero. Barry Bonds leads in stolen bases with one. (Stats on right hand side) |
(18) |
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NFL truth and rumors: Sucks to be a Dolphins fan and face the prospect of a headcase like Daunte Culpepper, a beaten-up David Carr or a courageous Brady Quinn |
(29) |
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Ex-Sooner upset over dismissal from team. "All I did was take cash" |
(18) |
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Gators to grace Wheaties box. Thirty-six hours after their victory, none arrested yet? |
(162) |
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Twenty-two reasons why Bonds won't pass Aaron |
(48) |
| (Enquirer) |
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Mayor of Cincinnati wants to try that whole first-pitch thing over again. And hey, he was nearly as good as Curt Schilling on Opening Day |
(68) |
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In a rare moment of lucidity, Skins nix trade with Bears because they don't want to part with a young player with potential for an overrated, money-grubbing jerk |
(20) |
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For the first time in 27 years, Buffalo Sabres will be the No. 1 seed in the Eastern Conference |
(133) |
| (Sky Sports) |
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Official World Cup of Cricket dicussion thread: Today, England vs Sri Lanka |
(48) |
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Eddie Robinson, the second winningest coach in college football history, has died |
(18) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Contrary to prior reports, Reggie Bush is still on the Playboy Mansion guest list |
(8) |
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Blue Jay's commercial featuring Frank Thomas clubbing a kid with a pillow will not be allowed to air on TV because it's too agressive |
(75) |
| (Variety) |
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ESPN's Rock, Paper, Scissors Championship producers developing new "sport": Pillow Fighting League. I looked and lo, the seventh seal was opened |
(22) |
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Dana Altman says "nevermind" to Razorbacks, prefers barren nothingness of Nebraska to hilly nothingness of Arkansas |
(34) |
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Trent Green still a Chief. Assumedly still also concussion prone ninny who throws like 12-year-old girl |
(24) |
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What do the following words have in common: Totti, Fergie, Valencia, Jose? It's the Champions League quarter final leg one, day two official discussion forum |
(175) |
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Leading scorer in U.S. soccer history Eric Wynalda to interviewer: "Jim Rome can suck my d---, and he should be very afraid, if I get too many drinks in me, I will club his a--" |
(63) |
| (TheLastBoss.com) |
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Pac-Man video game parody of Pacman Jones slapping strippers and going on trial (contains profanity) |
(19) |
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Canada crushes Switzerland at women's hockey worlds. The Swiss had a problem with the neutral zone |
(11) |
| (NHL) |
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For the first time in NHL history, the Stanley Cup playoffs will be contested without the two teams that played in the previous year's final |
(54) |
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Reason No. 73,464 why CBS basketball announcer Billy Packer should be fired: He accused Charlie Rose of "fagging out on me" during live TV interview |
(20) |
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In a moment that shows ESPN does not care about the NCAA Women's Championship, they incorrectly list North Carolina as winning |
(21) |
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It took exactly six minutes into the 2007 season for Yankees fans to boo A-Rod. Classy |
(39) |
| (Rocky Mountain News) |
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In Colorado, contract extensions given to your manager and GM after five losing seasons is called "stability" |
(16) |
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Duke coach is expected to tell her players Tuesday that she is leaving to take over the Texas program. Will she teach Texas how to suck like Duke? |
(11) |
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San Francisco Giants officials ignoring Barry's HR-record chase. Team VP: "We just want to have a proper sense of proportion" |
(11) |
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Chicago Cubs pitcher Mark Prior did not report to minor-league gig. Like his talent, Mark Prior has apparently gone missing |
(33) |
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Dre Bly realizes that playing for Washington would be like playing for Detroit; feels blessed to play for Denver. $33 million unavailable for comment |
(23) |
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The season's only two days old and already the Cubs are playing craptacular baseball |
(23) |
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Redskins looking to trade first round pick for Pro Bowl LB, because that strategy has worked so well over the years |
(32) |
| (charleston daily mail) |
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WVU's basketball coach going to Michigan. Duke sucks |
(57) |
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Philadelphia Phillies meet all expectations and dominate the Atlanta Braves. Just kidding -- they're winless and look pathetic |
(28) |
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Champions League quarter-finals official thread. Gators rock, Duke sucks |
(150) |
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Zamboni driver cannot be charged for DWI on the ice |
(56) |
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Flamini is so unhappy at Arsenal, he's willing to pay them to let him leave |
(12) |
| (AOL news) |
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David Wells is giving up beer due to his type 2 diabetes. Wilford Brimley unavailable for comment |
(20) |
| (NY Daily News) |
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Cory Lidle's six-year-old son throws out first pitch at Yankee Stadium. And so they now say, Yankee fans hearts grew three sizes that day |
(19) |
| (AOL Sports) |
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Remember when Joey Porter beat up the Bengals' Levi Jones in Vegas? Jones says it was actually Porter and six of his buddies |
(8) |
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It turns out that blowing up marshmallow chicks in a microwave is not the most reliable way to pick the winner of a basketball game |
(32) |
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ESPN to broadcast NCAA women's hoops title game over ESPN HD, ESPN2 HD, ESPNU, ESPN360, ESPN International, ESPNNEWS, ESPN Radio and ESPN.com |
(35) |
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Cowboys to target character in NFL draft |
(15) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Reggie Bush has been banned from the Playboy Mansion for a conduct violation not involving a Playmate |
(16) |
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University of Florida linebacker Dustin Doe arrested and charged with fighting in public. However, since it was only a misdemeanor, the Cincinnati Bengals were not expected to take notice |
(5) |
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Hall of Fame to Dick Vitale: "You've got a long way to go, baby" |
(28) |
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Florida Gators become the first team since the 1992 Duke Blue Devils to repeat as champions. Duke sucks |
(147) |
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| (Some Guy) |
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NCAA tourney title game discussion thread. Talk amongst your intarweb friends as you watch it at home, just like Tommy Amaker |
(1176) |
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Indianapolis Colts defensive end Darrell Reid charged with marijuana possession. Insert Cincinnati Bengals joke here |
(9) |
| (Glasgow Herald) |
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Scotland's "Tartan Army" consumes five gallons of beer per capita over three days, despite alcohol ban by authorities |
(78) |
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A-Rod hits meaningful home run in Yankees' Opening Day win. Bronx cheer camouflaged for a day |
(30) |
| (AOL Sports) |
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A 16-game suspension would be unprecedented, so NFL commissioner Roger Goodell plans to give Pacman Jones two eight-game suspensions instead |
(13) |
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Dallas Mavericks sign 44-year-old Kevin Willis for postseason run even though he hasn't played since 2004-05 season |
(11) |
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Turner travels to Tennessee to talk to the Titans today. Testicles |
(9) |
| (Throws like a girl) |
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Jose Contreras gets the hook after posting a 72.00 ERA in White Sox home opener (LGT box) |
(25) |
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Pittsburgh Pirates now mathmatically eliminated from the post season |
(40) |
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Pride of Milwaukee: 12-person beer bong at Brewer's Opening Day |
(18) |
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Swimmer Ian Thorpe to use the "I was really wasted the night before" defense for his failed doping test, citing how that worked so well in totally clearing Floyd Landis |
(6) |
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Sepp Blatter set to ruin FIFA for another four years |
(14) |
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This is not news, but it's much prettier: Fourteen new members join Broncos cheerleader squad -- with much better images this time |
(147) |
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So what's a Cubs fan to do when kid's baseball team he manages is filled with White Sox fans? Why, name the team the Cubs of course. Hilarity ensues |
(99) |
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Philadelphia Phillies all set to suck all season, get hot in the fall and then miss the playoffs by one game for a third time |
(13) |
| (PR-inside) |
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Hopes of Chicago Cubs fans dashed when team president says sale of team will not impact on-field performance |
(6) |
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Coach your team to first place. Check. Get fired with a week to go. Check. Devils fire Julien |
(45) |
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Billy Packer finally tells you why he's such an asshat as an announcer |
(15) |
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Coaches Phil Jackson and Roy Williams head list of seven people named to Basketball Hall of Fame |
(13) |
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Selfish ballhog Kobe Bryant dishes 13 assists in victory over Sacramento |
(33) |
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Roma will not fall for C. Ronaldo's flailing knee-clutching crybaby tricks |
(11) |
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Jimmie Johnson holds on at Martinsville despite Jeff Gordon banging away at his rear bumper. Not that there's anything wrong with that |
(11) |
| (cricketworldcup) |
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Official Cricket World Cup discussion thread. Bangladesh looking to upset power house New Zealand. Again |
(19) |
| (NY Daily News) |
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Mets manager brings in rookie reliever who gets hitter to hit into a double play, ending a bases-loaded threat. For this, the NY media questions Randolph's managing acumen |
(23) |
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Leafs are still out of contention for the playoffs. Sundin's excuse? "But... but... the playoff system sucks" |
(31) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Cheerleaders suffer more catastrophic injuries than all other athletes combined, even without including STDs |
(22) |
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Ottawa Senators owner shows up in Kandahar, hands out hockey equipment and Tim Horton's gift certificates |
(17) |
| (Play Ball!) |
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Official MLB Opening Day discussion thread |
(226) |
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Mavericks' winning steak ends at nine. The Suns are there |
(24) |
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Canada creams Denmark to go 2-0 in World Curling Finals. Yeehaw! C'mon all you curling fans, both of you! |
(18) |
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Bush won't throw first pitch on Opening Day. Only two other presidents haven't in the past 65 years -- Richard Nixon and Woodrow Wilson. And Wilson had a stroke. Guess Bush is coming down with a case of Nixon |
(58) |
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Rutgers licks LSU to move to title game |
(8) |
| (Fox Sports) |
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Baseball still negotiating on TV package. Would it be too much to ask to have this done before the season starts?...Oh, it has? |
(13) |
Sports Farkives
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