Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Sports Archives for '2007-03-18 23:59:59'

# of Comments

Iditarod racer disqualified for hitting his dogs. The three dogs that DIED in the race? No big deal

Soft-spoken financial documents translator turns feared Ultimate Fighter (w/ pic)

(6)

Minnesota wins 2007 Division I Wrestling Championship

(AOL Sports Blog)

Neighbors complain that Seattle Seahawks tight end Jerramy Stevens litters their decks with his used condoms

NCAA second round day 2 discussion thread. Not that it matters, looking at your brackets

(1130)

(Cricinfo)

Bob Woolmer's condition downgraded to dead

Dallas Cowboys' famous unofficial mascot "Crazy Ray" passes away at 76

Pakistan Cricket coach Bob Woolmer found unconscious in hotel room

(24)

ESPN to televise Rock Paper Scissors league

(29)

Kimi Raikkonen proves Michael Schumacher is replaceable by winning Australian Grand Prix for Ferrari

There are only five perfect brackets left in Yahoo's $1 mil tournament. One of them did not pick a participants for the final. Sucks-to-be-you tag applies

To celebrate St. Patrick's Day, the Irish cricket team produces the biggest upset in World Cup history by beating Pakistan

(22)

16-year old breaks Ontario Hockey League scoring record. Suck it, Gretzky

Kentucky basketball team accidentally starts the wrong player because they confused him for his cousin, although considering it happened to Kentucky, the real story is that this only happened once

Sat March 17, 2007:

# of Comments

Modano becomes all time leading American scorer

NCAA Day 3 discussion thread

(1801)

Begun, the NASCAR cell phone wars have

(PGA.com)

Arnold Palmer Invitational round 3. Hey Tiger, can you say overrated?

(27)

In honor of St. Patrick's Day, a guide to Irish Stick Fighting. Remember: "The only fear I have is the fear of killin' you" (pic)

(96)

(Cricinfo)

2007 Cricket World Cup Day 5 thread. Today's matches: India v Bangladesh in Trinidad and Ireland v Pakistan in Jamaica. It doesn't get much greener than that

(74)

Raikkonen wins pole for Australian GP. Shows overwhelming excitement by blinking

Fri March 16, 2007:

# of Comments

How to make football better - Submitter suggests you start off by calling it Soccer

(49)

Tony Parker's rap album reaches #2 on France's music charts; Jerry Lewis' deathgrip on top spot loosening

(Some Geeky Girl)

How an economist calculates her NCAA brackets. Variables include "least hated alumni," "number of children fathered by team."

(5)

NASCAR won't let AT&T put its name on Jeff Burton's race car because NEXTEL sponsors the series. Gentlemen, start your lawsuits

(49)

NCAA's chief day one concern of tournament is how Dick Vitale's banned Hooters ad somehow aired during Big Dance; no worries over CBS' crappy coverage or fouled up webcasts

Batsman hits six sixes in an over at the World Cup, the first in International Cricket

(54)

Invisible player on VCU was not called for a critical charging foul during last night's game with Duke. Let's go the videotape. Duke sucks

(39)

Vanderbilt Cheerleaders miss NCAA tournament because of "Spring Break rules violations" - Joe Francis unavailable for comment

Michigan player: Playing in the NIT is "just something you have to do.'' Michigan fans: "Showing up to NIT games is not something we have to do"

(31)

NHL will be expanding into Vegas... in five years

(65)

England unveils team that will lose at Euro 2008 championship

Leafs are finally coming to grips with their futility... one is even cherishing it

Cavaliers basketball player Scott Pollard looks into a live camera and tells kids to smoke some drugs

(33)

Major city says it doesn't deserve more professional sports, won't throw millions away trying to attract team. Other wanna-be cities to follow. Franchise owners cry unfair, might have to build own stadiums

The Edmonton Oilers soldier on resolutely with their brilliant post-Ryan Smyth strategy of scoring fewer goals than their opponents, with predictable results

Official NCAA day two discussion thread. LGT scoreboard. What upsets do you have bracketed?

(1735)

Woman who sold advertising space on pregnant belly in exchange for Super Bowl tickets gives birth to baby boy named Ubid Dotcom Gordon

(38)

(setanta)

Let the speculation begin in earnest Frank Lampard is now rumored to be going to Juventus. Where would you like Fat Frank to go this summer?

(20)

(FSN)

Firmly entrenched in the "Not News" category: the official UEFA Cup quarter final draw discussion thread

Pitino brings the fans to their feet at Rupp Arena, mainly because UK fans are just setting a trap for Pitino on Saturday

(Some Drunk Irishman)

Cricket World Cup - Day 4 - England v New Zealand and SA v Netherlands - Irish too drunk celebrating yesterday's tie to care. Official 2007 Cricket World Cup Thread

(90)

In a rousing attempt to up the vagueness of NHL injury reports, NYI Coach Ted Nolan reports that Rick DiPietro is out of action with "general body soreness"

Former baseball commissioner Bowie Kuhn dies at age 80

Judge jails Bears' Tank Johnson for 120 days for weapons violation. Judge: "1 day for the weapons violation, 119 days for losing the G-d-damn Superbowl."

(20)

Thu March 15, 2007:

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It isn't March Madness until some idiot writer gives us the "All-Hair Team"

(18)

Duke has now blown 11 pt lead, on their way out of the dance

(393)

A guide to help women get through March Madness that somehow manages to stretch "Stop bothering him" into an entire column

(72)

In an effort to improve his image, Atlanta QB Michael Vick opens a wine-tasting restaurant. Guests should check their bottles for a "secret compartment"

Not news: SI ranks the top 10 runningback duos in the NFL. Fark: Four of the duos have yet to play a down together

(35)

New NFL conduct policy to have provision for sanctioning teams with players who have multiple criminal offenses. Tentative name: Bengals Clause

A visibly upset Tonya Harding may have an exuse for tweaked out behavior

(35)

Sammy done did it

(26)

Indians extend contract of GM Shapiro. Here comes another "rebuilding year"

(12)

NCAA Tournament first round discussion thread. Your bracket is already busted

(1229)

(Some Tooth)

Even Setanta Sports has it out for Arsenal: Headline proclaims, "Arsenal move to fourth with Villa win." A) They were already in fourth. B) Your own article has them moving to 3rd. C) Profit???

Deion Sanders is stealing money from his own children, Deiondra and Deion. Looks like stupid matching names is all the legacy he will leave them

(16)

Benson to miss 2007 with rotator cuff surgery. Ms. Kraus unavailable for comment

2012 London Olympics budget up to 9.3 billion pounds. That's about 30 million in fat Americans

(UEFA.com)

Today's UEFA Cup discussion. PSG vs Benfica, Maccabi Haifa vs Espanyol, Newcastle vs AZ Alkmaar and Sevilla vs Shakhtar Donetsk

(43)

Lord Mawhinney's "eureka" moment was to have a penalty shootout at the end of tied Football League games for an extra point. "Eureka," you're a jackass

(6)

UCLA's Lorenzo Mata has his pool under control

(Some Mugabe's contribution)

Official 2007 Cricket World Cup Day 3 thread. Sri Lanka v Bermuda, Zimbabwe v Ireland

(117)

Olbermann: In defense of Pete Rose

(26)

Red Wings take lead in NHL. Suck it, Avs

(71)

(Sportsline)

Thirteen excuses to get out of work for the NCAA Tourney

Game of The Year lives up to the hype. Suns beat Mavs in double overtime. Suck it, Cuban

(50)

Wed March 14, 2007:

# of Comments

Even Slate says Duke sucks

(47)

English Football League considers scrapping draws and requiring all ties to end with a shootout so at least one goal will be scored. It's about farking time

(25)

Pete Rose admits to betting "every night" on the Reds

(74)

Andrew Bogut apologizes for gesturing to the home crowd that they're No. 1

(3)

George Karl challenges the Nuggets to hold the Blazers to 30 percent shooting in the second half. They held them to 60 percent

Lakers head coach Phil Jackson claims the NBA is on a "witch hunt" to penalize Kobe Bryant. It sure is a good thing there's not multiple instances where his actions have been caught on tape

(heraldonline.com)

Black snake shows up in press box at Mets/Indians game. Reporters flee like schoolgirls as stadium worker picks it up and takes it away. Hilarity ensues. (With pic)

(Headline News)

Orioles, Roberts agree to two-year, $14-million contract after deal with 900-foot Jesus falls through

Top 10 most slappable Premiership soccer stars

(24)

Rick Majerus' first "blog" entry for newspaper is his NCAA tournament bracket filled-out by hand and scanned onto website

(12)

A-Rod wants to finish career with Yanks. No matter what other headlines say

Tim Hardaway now loves the c#ck. Stupid tag wins because there is no Flip-Flop tag

(DallasStars.com)

Mike Modano hits his 500th NHL goal. One of 39 in the NHL, and three goals away from being the highest scoring American NHL player

(24)

Basketball coach gives birth to her first child and then 5 hours later is on the court coaching her team in the NCAA Div II Women's tournament. Let's see Bobby Knight do that

3,000 people show up to watch Michigan win their opening round NIT game in their quest of being the 66th best team in the country

(53)

Cards Tony La Russa, 62, gets tattoo, hoping to land NBA contract

Top 10 excuses to get out of work this Thursday and Friday, and much more silliness

Photos of Russian woman who cost English soccer team owner Roman Abramovich $2B in divorce settlement

Pat Riley doesn't think anyone should harbor any ill feelings about being lied into a senseless unwinnable war for some damn reason

(5)

(UEFA.com)

Todays UEFA cup discussion thread. Celta vs Bremen, Lens vs Leverkusen, Rangers vs Osasuna and Braga vs Spurs

(39)

The only interesting sporting event of the day: Aston Villa v. Arsenal @ 12:40 pst. Come here to revel in the downfall of a once great club

(25)

Today's official 2007 Cricket World Cup discussion thread: Kenya v Canada and Australia v Scotland

(80)

Mr. Mackey wins the Iditarod race, mmkay

ESPN asks which No. 1 seed will lose first in the NCAA tournament -- and then omits Ohio State as a choice in favor of No. 2 UCLA. Suck it, Buckeyes

Pete Rose thinks reinstatement would please fans. Also thinks that the movie about him should star that dude from that wine-tasting movie

(56)

More proof that University of Arizona's basketball season was so crappy, it will drive a guy to drink

(12)

Tue March 13, 2007:

# of Comments

Beckham says farewell to Man United fans, last lingering threat of heterosexuality

(Steroid Nation)

Evander Holyfield now admits to taking some unknown hormone, for some unknown condition

After playing in charity game in Thailand last month, Zidane refuses similar affair in Manchester after his Italian headbutt victim is also invited to play

Free agent TE Jerramy Stevens now has just about enough points on his record to earn himself a spot on the Cincinnati Bengals roster

(22)

Phoenix Coyotes lose $30 million this season alone. Yeah, hockey in the desert is a great idea

(38)

(CNNSI)

Cardinals coach fired after getting too involved with Xs and hoes

NFL star Shaun Alexander was a virgin at 24, and never even kissed his wife until their wedding day. This story is even more unbelieveable when you get a look at her

(85)

Tottenham boss Martin Jol provides the football quote of the week: "It's the same if you told my wife I'm gay. You'd have a big laugh."

LSU was informed in February of Pokey Chapman's alleged improper conduct, banned her from contact with players lickety-split

If you need some help winning your office pool, check out the expert's college basketball bracket picks online. Duke sucks

(25)

Randy Moss could be traded as soon as today if Packers don't fudge up deal

(47)

Dallas Mavs finally lose 10th game of the season, on March 13. They could lose their remaining 20 games and still be guaranteed to have a better record than 18 other NBA teams

(27)

(Deadspin)

Watch out, Deadspin and Jason Whitlock: ESPN might put a horse's head in your bed one day

Ben Affleck to star in new Boston Red Sox DVD aimed at "turning young children into die-hard fans." Here comes the brainwashing

(30)

The 64th and 65th best teams in the NCAA basketball tournament feel disrespected

NCAA tournament brackets with co-ed boobie goodness. Not safe for work

Joe Torre: "Sometimes you have to remind Red Sox fans they did win the World Series." Understandable, because 26 shiny things are more distracting than just one

(47)

Jacksonville Jaguars player charged with stealing cop's gun. They have 24 hours to meet the Bengals' record-setting free agency deal

Having already stubbed out a cigar in a teammate's eye, brawled with a teenage Everton fan and shown his ass to half of Fratton Park, being arrested for assaulting a cabbie is actually a step up for Man City's Joey Barton

(Some Pundit)

Who is your NCAA Tournament bracket buster, upset or Cinderella?

(247)

(Cricinfo)

Official 2007 Cricket World Cup Pakistan versus West Indies discussion thread. Now with Yasir Arafat zombie goodness

(212)

(Ex-Austinite)

Texas women's basketball coach Jody Conradt retires with 900 career victories

Pittsburgh Penguins officially staying put

(76)

B*nds wants to play in 2008, provided he's not in prison by then

Australian court charges 60-year-old Sylvester Stallone with importing illegal drugs Down Under after he's caught with 48 vials of HGH

(AOL Sports)

Lakers Coach Phil Jackson: "Jesus Christ could come back and we still wouldn't have a chance"

(22)

Mon March 12, 2007:

# of Comments

Jake the Snake defanged when his false teeth fall out during wrestling match

(28)

"What unusual or special action can I do at the next game to to prove to you loyal fans I *am* your team's goalkeeper here on this forum?" "Catch the farking ball for once you useless twat"

Want more proof that college basketball is just a holding cell for future NBA propects? How about a 10 percent graduation rate for two of the top seeds in the tournament

(42)

(SI)

Ten bell-ringing examples why hockey is the roughest sport on the planet. Your mom wants a hip check

(NBC Sports)

John Franco makes a pitch to ban metal bats in New York. Bitter that even little leaguers are taking him deep

(15)

Patriots sign player through the NFL's work-release program

Latest NBA power rankings. Dallas Mavericks so good they get the top three spots

Kobe Bryant closing in on rare hat trick of one-game suspensions for throwing elbows as NBA investigates him yet again

Former NBA baller John Amaechi, who recently disclosed his homosexuality, signs endorsement deal with "Headblade." So many jokes, so little time

(TSN.ca)

Teemu Selanne becomes the first NHL player over 35 to score 40+ goals in consecutive seasons, tells Crosby to get off his lawn

Isiah Thomas arrested and charged with criminal mismanagement of the New York Knicks. Just kidding... his contract has been extended

For the first time since Aug. 16, 2006, Roger Federer finally loses a match

Dallas Mavericks have now won 17 straight NBA games after defeating Kobe and the Flying Elbows

(31)

Chelsea and Spurs thugs clash after FA Cup game. The clash ended in a draw, with dozens left writhing on the ground clutching various parts of their bodies

New University of Miami football coach bans guns from team. No funny headline here, folks. We're going with the "man bites dog" angle

(15)

Pro golfer under suspicion in fatal street-racing accident in Florida. When will someone stop the mayhem and death that is such a part of the culture of pro golf?

(OregonLive)

East beats West 20-16 in National Lacrosse League All-Star Game. In other news, there is a National Lacrosse League

(Ringside Report)

Heavyweight fight of the century over in less than two rounds as Eric "Butterbean" Esch easily defeats Joe "Enormous Untalented Fatass" Siciliano

(16)

(WWE)

"Big Cat" Ernie Ladd joins Scott Bigelow and Allen James Coage in the wrestling ring in the sky