Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Sports Archives for '2007-02-18 23:59:59'

# of Comments

(Sports Illustrated)

Duke beat Georgia Tech today to give Coach K his 700th victory with the same team. Duke still sucks

(3)

NBA Dunk Contest 2007

(20)

Soccer player assaults teammate with a golf club for refusing to join him for karaoke

(6)

Israel pro baseball league to be launched, visiting fans to provide personal postgame fireworks

(5)

Tim Hardaway's car wash changes name to something a little more gay-friendly: "Grand Luxe Auto Bathe" now open for business

(5)

Patriots QB Tom Brady goes long and deep to former wide receiver Bridget Moynahan. He scores

(38)

(TSN)

Ken Griffey Jr. finally reveals the cause of his latest injury - wrestling with his kids on his yacht in the Bahamas. World's tiniest gold-plated violin heard

Wolverine's Big House give big finger to disabled fans. Luxury boxes to handicap their viewing in football stadium

Official 2007 Daytona 500 Rocket Fuel Spectacular Discussion Thread

(599)

Michael Phelps breaks 200M butterfly record in Columbia MO. It was cold, but the ice makes for a fast swim

(7)

Caption this cheerleader and her sammich

(42)

Maple Leafs honor players who won team's last Stanley Cup in 1967. They should give the old guys sticks and skates even if some of them are 82 - they couldn't do much worse in playoffs than Leafs have for last 40 years

(The Hindu)

Murray upsets Roddick, faces Khlau Khalash in final, while being forced to drink gallons of clam juice

(The Largest Minority)

Former NBA player John Amaechi discusses Tim Hardaway’s homophobic comments on Real Time. Maher jokes, “You’re black, British, and gay… and some of that is redundant” (video)

(16)

For the first time since ODI rankings were introduced in 2002 Australia are not the number one cricket team in the world. South Africa writes thank you note to New Zealand

(19)

Some Aussie footballer you've never heard of scores 5 goals in A-League Grand Final massacre

(6)

In his first start for Milan, Ronaldo finds the back of the net twice; somewhere in Spain, Fabio Capello is twitching

(9)

Classic NHL fight: Coxe vs. Probert. Jack McIlhargey approves

(15)

(SI.com)

Two guys you've never heard of win the NBA Slam Dunk and 3-point contests

(25)

Sat February 17, 2007:

# of Comments

Kansas cornholes Cornhuskers, 92-39

Phil Mickelson commuting to Los Angeles-area PGA Tour stop in private plane this week

(12)

"Pegging is anything but a mass activity in Canada and the U.S. The North American championships, held in Kentucky last September, attracted only a few dozen competitors, and few spectators"

Watford vs. Ipswich, Plymouth vs. Derby, and Middlesbrough vs. West Bromwich Albion are among today's marquee matches in FA Cup fifth round action

(29)

Rules changes for the 2007 baseball season

(40)

Fri February 16, 2007:

# of Comments

Zidane MLS sign (which might happen Monday) would eclipse Beckham in time

(32)

Prominent horse owner dies, and no, it's not Prince Charles or Matthew Broderick

(5)

(Some Fan-Hating Pitcher)

NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series Chevy Silverado HD 250 Discussion

(37)

(Deadspin)

Boston fans worried that their new pitcher, Dice-K, is a fatty

(15)

Keith Foulke, former Red Sox closer-turned-trainwreck, retires before throwing a pitch for the Indians. Can you farking believe it?

NBA star Jason Kidd's estranged wife just filed the most vicious divorce petition you'll ever read. And The Smoking Gun is there

(203)

(CNNSI)

Truth & Rumors: ESPN to axe Michael Irvin and Gisele Bundchen taking pole-dancing classes

Sportscaster attacked at basketball game. And no matter how many times you refresh your browser, it doesn't change his name to Bob Costas

(19)

Lakers Coach Phil Jackson outed on radio after blowing off girlfriend on Valentine's Day

(Daytona Beach News-Journal)

Mike Mussina questions Carl Pavano's cojones. Jobu grimly smiles. Jobu is pleased

(12)

Queen Elizabeth could attend Kentucky Derby. To avoid confusion, Camilla will stay home with Charles

(11)

Could the Red Sox please find a decent translator for Matsuzaka? LGT page with video of horrible press conference

(4)

Scottie Pippen may return to the NBA

(47)

NASCAR fans drink Daytona-bound Boeing 717 out of beer and vodka...by 10:15 AM

(145)

University of Illinois ends Chief Illiniwek's run. To be replaced with pink Nerf foam sculpture of people of all races and creeds holding hands under a rainbow

(189)

(MLB.com)

Frank Torre needs another transplant, which bodes well for the Yankees' playoff hopes

(4)

Tim Hardaway banished from NBA All-Star weekend in Las Vegas following his anti-gay comments

(107)

Arsenal become first football club in the history of mankind to have tea with The Queen of England; Arsene Wenger's plan for a French 'reconquista' of England is almost complete (w/bonus link to pics in thread)

(49)

George Steinbrenner's successor arrested for DUI, immediately traded to Cincinnati Bengals

(4)

Michael "Jet-Fuel" Waltrip gets his Toyota into Gatorade 150 qualifying race

Swansea City football coach Kenny Jackett quits; feels he lost the support of the team, hooligans

(9)

Joe Sakic, on the lam from the retirement home, scores his 600th goal

In a sign of things to come this season for the Cubs, Kerry Wood injured by his bathtub

(28)

(9news)

Peter Forsberg will now be gracing the injured list in Nashville

(83)

Thu February 15, 2007:

# of Comments

Mariano Rivera could be the Red Sox closer in 2007

(30)

Jeff Gordon wins 2nd qualifying race, fails after race inspection due to "parts failure"

(37)

Bob Knight publicly reprimands referees. Big XII officials publicly reprimand Knight, saying public reprimands are unsportsmanlike

(12)

B*rry B*nds finally signs revised contract with Giants

(Every Day Should Be Saturday)

(NASCAR.com)

Despite losing his primary car, crew chief, 100 pts and starting from the back, Michael Waltrip qualifies for the Daytona 500

(17)

(The Moscow Times)

Maria Sharapova named UN goodwill ambassador for Hotness

(11)

Bill Cowher joins CBS as Shannon Sharpe’s translator

(34)

The U.S. National Team draws the toughest group for the Copa America, a soccer tournament being held this summer way south of the real America

(33)

Mysterious substance in Michael Waltrip's car wasn't jet fuel, but most likely rocket fuel instead. Still no explanation for why his car is a slug

(28)

Gay website in 2001 named Tim Hardaway one of "Ten Most Likely Gay Ballers in the NBA"

(49)

ESPN polling to see what kind of graphics we want to see on MNF. Cool idea. Now if they'd poll to see if we want Tony Kornheiser in the booth next year and have less than 30 guests during the game, they'd really be on to something

(52)

English rugby maestro injured, fans not shocked by news

(7)

QB run, QB run, QB run, QB run, QB run, lame jump pass, QB run, QB run, QB run, QB run, followed up by another QB run. Yup, that is a preview of the Florida Gators' offense for next season

(33)

Roll Tide Alabama assistant basketball coach Tom Asbury spotted going after nose goblins for a tasty snack during a game. Duke sucks

(53)

(Wizard of Odds)

Day Two of the Charlie Weis Gastric Bypass trial. When he was Patriots assistant coach, Weis told QB Tom Brady of the bypass surgery, but not his wife

NY Yankees to honor Cory Lidle by wearing black armbands this season. Apparently, Paper Airplane Day was a bit too much

(79)

CFL looking to sell naming rights to the Grey Cup. Welcome to Ford Grey Cup Sunday

(courant)

Dmitri being moved to Washington. Sounds like a plot from "24," not a baseball trade

(10)

(WhiteHouse.gov)

SEC fans gnash their dentures together as Bush screws up the name of their overrated conference. OMG OMG OMG SEC SPEED OMG OMG OMG

(63)

At 0-13 in conference play, Arizona State can become first winless team ever in Pac-10. Duke sucks

(67)

Michigan's basketball coach (who sucks because he happens to be a former Dukie) said his team must stop doing impressions of the Michigan football team when they continually choke in the second half

Actual CNN headline: "Jet fuel scandal hits NASCAR star." From article: "The substance was not jet fuel"

Top five cheaters in NASCAR history

(45)

Roman Catholic priests from all over Europe to compete in indoor football championship. Jesus saves

(MLB.com)

Wrigley Field will sport ads on the outfield wall doors this season. Ron Santo won't stand for this

(48)

Tim Hardaway loves gay people: "You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known. I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people, I'm homophobic"

(123)

Two SF Chronicle reporters avoid jail time in the Barry Bonds* case

Wed February 14, 2007:

# of Comments

Congratulations to the Milwaukee Bucks, the first team beaten by the Boston Celtics in 40 days

(46)

Michael Waltrip's crew chief and team director thrown out of Daytona 500, suspended indefinitely after jet fuel found in intake manifold

(25)

Fear not, Chicagoans: the Blackhawks stlil have a 0.6% chance of making the playoffs

(20)

SI columnist criticizes NHL for using sex to sell tickets - same day as SI swimsuit issue is released

(Union City Daily Messenger)

(NY Daily News)

New York Mets 3B David Wright looking for new theme song, asks Daily News blog for help. Suggestions so far include Pimpin' Ain't Easy, 99 Luftballoons, and the Fraggle Rock Theme Song

(28)

NCAA reverses 2006 football clock rules. Apparently people like to watch football

(10)

New FIFA World Rankings: Italy #1, oh and Brazil higher than France, Argentina higher that Germany, England and Netherlands above Portugal; Subby swears 2006 World Cup really happened

(37)

Michael Andretti plans on losing the Indianapolis 500 for the 16th time

(9)

"Football School" Virginia Tech becomes the first team in 12 years to win at Duke and at UNC in the same season...In Basketball

(26)

Showdown at the Reebok stadium, this is the official Arsenal v. Bolton FA Cup rematch discussion forum

(57)

Local paper tries once again to deny that Malcom Caldwell really is 8 feet tall, despite photographic proof (see pic)

Sportswriter tells A-Rod how wrong he was about him. Then gives him a big reach around

Chris Martin defeats Michael Jackson in "pulsating" slap fight

Tue February 13, 2007:

# of Comments

Football recruit turns down Fighting Irish in part because "Notre Dame didn't exactly have the best-looking chicks"

(54)

NASCAR parks crew chiefs for Kasey Kahne and Matt Kenseth. No decision made on Michael Waltrip yet, but the vultures are circling

(39)

Tony Parker-Eva Longoria wedding invites note nuptials to be held in Paris, FRANCE (for Parker's friends in Texas)

(NWAnews.com)

Man, there is a whole lot more funky stuff going on with the Arkansas football program than was initially reported

Finding it a tough nut to crack last time, Lance Armstrong plans to run the NYC marathon again. Hopes to condition himself better and have a ball doing it

(Reason)

U.S government considering "punitive action" against Red Sox pitcher for filming a beer commercial that only aired in Japan (w/ video goodness)

(120)

Remember those violations at the Oklahoma car dealership concerning Sooner football players? Well, it looks like another one of the Gooners had their hand in the cookie jar. Hook 'em

(15)

Braves say sale should not affect fans and please pull out your wallet to pay more to see a team whose best days are behind it

Just like their teams' hopes for a Big Televen title this season, two Illinois players crash into an obstacle

(6)

Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano, apparently possessed by Ricky Henderson: "If they don't sign me, sorry, but I must go. That's what Carlos Zambrano thinks"

(29)

Charlie Weis sues for malpractice in obesity surgery, blaming doctors for failure to cease involuntary plate-to-mouth arm movement

(140)

Fark the groundhog. First real sign of spring begins today as pitchers and catchers report

(49)

Best damm closer in baseball threatens to leave Yankees as a free agent at the end of the season. Yeah, like that's going to happen

(65)

(Fox Sports)

Fox lists last year's World Series champ as an average team. Bonus: Still top of the NL Central. Duke sucks, but so do the Cubs, Astros, Brewers, Reds and Pirates

(63)

San Diego Padres to sign ex-marine who lost a finger in Iraq to minor-league pitching contract, insist it's for his potential and not just for a story. Obviously, it's not for his knuckle ball

(27)

Atlanta Braves sold by Time Warner to Liberty Mutual. Duke sucks

(35)

It's great for baseball that the Yankees haven't been winning world championships lately, writes schadenfreudey sportswriter

(21)

Florida Gators fire head coach Peck. Please, who will tend to the goats?

(19)

There's still time to join a Fark fantasy NASCAR league (DIT)

(34)

Mon February 12, 2007:

# of Comments

Marty Schottenheimer fired by Chargers. LaDanian Tomlinson seen celebrating crassly on the field

(80)

Duke unranked for first time in over a decade, sucks

(164)

Anna Benson's husband out for season with rotator cuff tear, dealing devastating blow to any attention whoring she hopes to accomplish this season

(20)

Pacers' Jackson claims he fired shots at nightclub to "break up a brawl." The Cincinnati Bengals are intrigued by his ideas and would like to subscribe to his newsletter

(11)

Timberwolves rookie Randy Foye involved in fisticuffs at local gas station during the dead of night. Cincinnati Bengals GM notes that Foye's journey to the dark side nearly complete

(2)

MLB baseball player sees model in nudie mag, tells agent to "find her." Cohabitation ensues. (Slightly not safe for work)

(47)

Next British PM says that if England gets 2018 World Cup bid and the 2010 Olympics, England will become "the greatest sporting nation in the world." Apparently, winning said competitions not necessary

(SI.com)

Sports Illustrated lists this year's top 20 free agents. Let's see how many the Redskins overpay for this time

(26)

NFL truth and rumors: Vikings head coach Brad Childress, fresh off his experience with T.O., tells Raiders that there is no room on the waters of the Minnetonka for Moss

(39)

Their loadin' up the truck an' headin' to Fort Myers, it's the unofficial start of Spring Training today

(24)

Next year's NHL season will open with two games in London, England. NHL officials believe this untapped market will respond positively to athletes with so many missing teeth

(32)

(Cheese-o-Sphere)

If your weiner isn't enough for her this Valentine's Day, purchase a visit from the Milwaukee Brewer's Racing Sausages

(38)

(Baseball Prospectus)

Seven simple rules for winning your fantasy baseball league. Only slightly less known is No. 8: Trading for a seemingly healthy Cubs starting pitcher when your ERA title is on the line

(16)

IOC reprimands Dick Pound, an outspoken critic of Lance Armstrong, after things got a little testy