Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Sports Archives for '2007-01-21 23:59:59'

# of Comments

PATS WIN (Mods: please greenlight as soon as the Pats win, thx)

(283)

(CBS sportsline)

The Indianapolis Colts are your new NFL Champions. Scheduled to play exhibition game against some NFC team in two weeks

(70)

Former Atlanta Falcons coach and Washington alum Jim Mora returns to Seattle area to coach Seahawks defensive backs. Hopes to make playoffs???

(7)

Hawks' Josh Smith carries on a recent Atlanta sports tradition by flipping off the fans. Suck it, Loserville

(1)

Woman induces pregnancy a few days early so husband can go to championship NFL game. Doctors said the baby would be healthy, and now hubby can cheer the Bears

(55)

Da Bears move the chains to the superbowl

(110)

The 20th annual Disc-Golf Ice Bowl

Electric motocross bike

(5)

The penultimate Sunday NFL discussion thread. Stay classy

(2706)

If you thought the roughest part of hockey happened on the ice, these kids have something to show you

(19)

Mollusk mania off San Diego. With bonus squid gutting link

Arsenal vs Manchester United 1/21/2007. (The other really important football game today)

(137)

Sat January 20, 2007:

# of Comments

Texas Tech upsets #5 Kansas. Got Knight. baby?

(SI.com)

Steelers select Vikings defensive coordinator Mike Tomlin as their next headcoach until 2020

(18)

He might not have a leg to stand on: Colorado State punter charged with attempted murder as more details emerge about brutal attack on teammate

(10)

Twenty-five years after their first Superbowl win, '82 49ers deal with pain, immobility and artificial joints. Hail to the victors

(25)

Dolphins hire Cam Cameron as head coach. Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo unavailble for comment

Cris Carter picks all tangible categories except offense in favor of the Bears, still picks New Orleans. Why? "I still don't trust Grossman at QB"

(219)

(TheLastBoss.com)

Snoop Dogg succeeds in assembling a 32 player Hip Hop Gaming League tournament in Vegas, where professional rappers and football players will battle each other on the Xbox 360

(17)

No team that plays at home in a dome has ever won a conference championship game outdoors on the road. Here comes the science

(26)

If it wasn't for Fark, you would have no idea there even was a Kenyan Prisons Cross Country Championships, let alone that Catherine Ndereba dominated a suprisingly competitive field

2-4" of snow expected during the NFC Championship Game. Since all weatherman are liars expect only a dusting or 3 feet

(25)

Wasps reach quarter-finals of rugby's Heineken Cup. If you slam down a few of them, maybe you can start to make sense of the draw

(3)

Maria Sharapova considering retiring, starting a family. Says something about looking for pastey TFer to settle down with

After a 2-year hiatus, the Ron Artest Interactive Fan Experience is finally returning to the Palace of Auburn Hills tonight

Five years ago today, on a snowy field in Foxboro, a dynasty was born

(80)

Fri January 19, 2007:

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The Philadelphia Eagles just signed this Aussie Rules Football player, known for his 60m booming kicks, to be their punter

(51)

George Mitchell: "Hey, Selig. Nice league you got there. Be a real shame if anything were to... happen to it, what with all this steroid talk going around"

(7)

(MLB)

Jeff Samardzija opts out of NFL Draft, signs $10 million, five-year contract with Chicago Cubs. May God have mercy on his soul

(42)

Just as his soon-to-be-former teammates back up Beckham after row with club president, his soon-to-be teammates at LA Galaxy admit they're jealous of the money he'll be making. Poor guy can't catch a break ... sob

CNN/SI's experts makes their picks for this Sunday's NFC/AFC title games. Hey, Chicago fans, at least you got some votes this time

(40)

Miked-up hockey players who get into fights say the darndest things

(36)

Dutch club Feyenoord gets tossed from UEFA Cup thanks to rowdy supporters

After a disappointing World Cup 2006, Team America finally gets back onto the field tomorrow against Denmark

(16)

(LA Dugout)

After being only scheduled for one fall, Don Zimmer enters his 59th year in baseball. Looks forwad to a rematch with Martinez

Super Bowl commercial to feature a honest-to-goodness wedding proposal. The erstwhile suitor is calling his stunt "the most public declaration of love in the history of mankind."

(59)

Matt Hasselbeck to have surgery on left shoulder, out for six months. Referees from Super Bowl XL seen high fiving, exclaiming "MWWAAAA HAAA HAAAA, Eeeexcellent"

(101)

England soccer star told that his career is down the pan. Decides to be more comfortable while this happens, but forgets to pay

(17)

(The Nation)

College sports programs are diverting resources from instruction and research and inflating the cost of tuition. Aww, sounds like some mamma's boy who can't bang a cheerleader is feeling down

(29)

Slate investigates the Rory Fitzpatrick for NHL All-Star Game campaign and finds shenanigans a-plenty

(30)

One lucky person will get to bend it with Beckham. LA Galaxy to hold open tryouts

Thu January 18, 2007:

# of Comments

(TSN)

You know your hockey team is in trouble when 69 year old Sean Burke is a big improvement at goalie

(34)

(WFRV)

Bears fans who can't get tickets buy new televisions; sales spike by 25 percent

(108)

Georgia Governor proposes spending $19B in tax money to lure more bass fishing tournaments to state

(53)

NCAA takes next step toward Team A vs Team B

(23)

(The Hockey News)

Martin Brodeur could break wins record for goaltenders in 2008/9 season, Patrick Roy is rooting for him to do so

(92)

Mariners sign some Putz for $13.1M

NFL truth and rumors: Michael Vick not leaving Atlanta, Chan Gailey could be coaching Miami, and Terrell Owens getting tendon surgery on the finger he's had stuck up his ass all season

(Rocky Mountain News)

Bill Walton would be confused if Carmelo Anthony got a standing ovation on his return. A bong hit? Sure, but not a 'standing O'

(Honolulu Advertiser)

After filing NFL draft paperwork, Hawaii QB Colt Brennan decides to return to school and throw a hundredy-billion TD passes

(35)

Raiders made it clear that Lofton reports were erroneous and USC assistant remains very much in contention for job

Good: You are a professional athlete dating an Argentinian model. Bad: Injesting the cream she uses for a vaginal infection gets you suspended for steroid use (5th item down, with pic)

(133)

Rex Grossman says he means business for this Sunday's NFC Championship game. What could possibly go wrong?

(142)

(NHRA.com)

Ashley Force to drive Funny Car starting this season, give Danica Patrick a run for her money as hottest woman in motorsports

(51)

(Sports Illustrated)

Awesome SI story about why the Saints will probably win it all

(68)

Michael Vick nearly busted for trying to take super secret water bottle onto plane

(84)

Pete Sampras elected to International Tennis Hall of Fame

New NHL uniforms promise better play

(54)

Barry Bonds says that Pete Rose and Mark McGwire belong in the Hall of Fame. So at least they got that going for them

(14)

Slovenian swimmer aims to be first to swim Amazon River. Amazonian pirhanas aim to eat their first Slovenian

(15)

Oakland A's may seek tax rebates to help build Fremont ballpark. And by "may" they mean "will", and by "help" they mean "finance the whole thing"

Wed January 17, 2007:

# of Comments

(SI)

Stephen Jackson headed to the Golden State Warriors in an 8-man trade. Terror alert level at Mitchell Brothers O'Farrell Theatre raised to red

(16)

Lakers star steals man's birthday cake on street at 2 a.m. Then things started getting weird

(71)

"Peyton Pouting" slideshow gallery from the Boston Globe. This certainly won't come back to haunt them

(234)

(NY Times)

In the ultimate lose-lose situation, the unsigned contracts for JD Drew and Barry Bonds may lead to the Giants signing Drew and the Red Sox signing Bonds

(24)

Friction caused by Nutt and Dick ends with Mustain being scrubbed from outfit

(18)

Carmelo Anthony named USA Basketball male athlete of the year

Real Madrid coach will review his decision to stop Beckham from playing for the team following the former England captain's decision to join the Los Angeles Galaxy

(4)

With the New Orleans Saints one win away from the Super Bowl and his favorite Patriots once again faced with Peyton Manning, The Sports Guy decides to write...his one millionth article about the Phoenix Suns?

(53)

Houston is betting $5.35 million that Brad Lidge grabs sack

(5)

Tampa Bay Devil Rays prospect Elijah Dukes arrested, charged with misdemeanor marijuana possession. Dukes sucks

(soccer-inside info)

Brazilian striker Ronaldo leaving Real Madrid for AC Milan

While all of New Orleans is praying for a Saints win on Sunday, the Chicago Sun-Times is running a poll to crown which Bear is the sexiest

(52)

Happy 65th birthday Muhammad Ali

(72)

(NC Times)

Rumor of Mariucci to replace Marty at Chargers

(34)

(The Times-Picayune)

"Remember those beer guys who used to carry kegs on their backs and looked like space men?" Forty years of Saints fans do

Manchester United looking forward to receiving talented Dong. "We're all excited" gushes coach

The best and most interesting matchup the Super Bowl could feature this year is the New Orleans Saints versus the Indianapolis Colts

(81)

High school forfeits hockey game due to squid

(Some Persian)

US warmly welcomed with bouquets of pink and white flowers. In Iran

Four signs your football team is pathetic: 1) You just fired your coach. 2) Your prime candidate just got bounced by Arizona. 3) He wants nothing to do with you. 4) You're in Oakland

(23)

Despite threats of moving to Santa Clara, Niners extend lease at Monster Park by five years. Claim they're not using threat as leverage for new stadium

(2)

Pitcher Carlos Zambrano wants $15.5 million in arbitration with the Chicago Cubs. Statisticians say that's fairly reasonable for a guy that's just as likely to take off your head as throw a strike

(17)

According to newspaper, Vancouver "pwned" Montreal. In other news, the internet pwned English

Please, God, spare us from another New England Patriots title. After all, the Patriots are the equivalent of ABC "comedy" "According to Jim," starring Jim "Belushi"

(99)

Eight-time Pro Bowler and Chargers assistant James Lofton set to become Raiders coach, the poor bastard

Tue January 16, 2007:

# of Comments

Miami Dolphins interview former Alabama coach to replace new Alabama coach

(23)

Beckham could join L.A. Galaxy for MLS season start after Real Madrid gaffer says he'll never play for side again and club president belittles him as a wannabe actor

(18)

Former Penn State Player charged with murder. Bloody glove found at scene. I think we know how this one ends

(134)

A review of how last season's asinine new clock rules negatively affected college football

(33)

(Deadspin)

What do you get when you throw three interceptions in a game? Gisele Bundchen waiting outside your locker room for you

(45)

NFL rejects offer from Britney Spears to be in one of their Super Bowl ads, calls her a "train wreck" and makes a snarky comment about Paris Hilton to boot

(54)

(Some Poet)

Redneck ode to the Chicago Bears, on a dirtbike. Your WTF moment of the day

(29)

Post-game locker room quotes including Reggie Bush, on what winning means to New Orleans: "Winning means that there is going to be an even greater amount of boobage flashed on Bourbon Street tonight than normal..."

(16)

Former Nascar driver Benny Parsons is driving that big stock car in the sky

(35)

(Rocky Mountain News)

Colorado Rockies will host "Faith Day" during home game next season, and by "faith" they mean "Christian," and by "game" they mean "loss"

(195)

The question isn't whether or not the Chargers will fire Schottenheimer, it's who they'll get to replace him

(34)

Nine Chargers, upset about classless coach encouraging excessive celebration, will be coached by classless coach on AFC Pro Bowl squad

(71)

Russ Grimm emerges as the front-runner for the Pittsburgh Steelers job. Duke sucks

Mets sign Sosa

(38)

Despite intense heat that cause loving beads of sweat to trickle down from her neck and nestle delicately along her champagne-glass breasts, Maria Sharapova survives first round of Australian Open. The kittens did not do as well

(31)

In retaliation for giving the U.S. an overrated superstar in their sport, the UK is subjected to Eli Manning and Joey Harrington

(35)

Sammy Sosa taking his corked bat and going home: Tries out with the team that brought him to MLB, the Texas Rangers

Twenty years after the fact, linesman at 1986 World Cup game -- in which Maradona scored his "Hand Of God" goal -- claims it shouldn't have been allowed

(19)

Mon January 15, 2007:

# of Comments

Where does your town rate in the all-important "local teams' uniforms" category?

(57)

Guess that whole "Roger Clemens is the Antichrist" thing goes out the window when you spend $120 million and finish third in your division

(56)

(IHT)

Muhammad Ali is lending his name, image and reputation as the "Greatest Of All Time" to a snack food food company. The "G.O.A.T." products will be marketed to 18 to 24 year olds

(79)

Chris Webber agrees to sign with Pistons for the remainder of the season, or until his leg falls off. Either one

(foxsports.com)

Ten reasons the Chargers aren't the Patriots

(62)

Indy residents learn the hard way that Ticketmaster has outlets all over the state

(19)

Steve Blake guns down former team, credits Allen Iverson for making him better at it

Giorgio Armani says that he believes David Beckham signed with L.A. team more out of his desire to become an actor than to play soccer

(Rocky Mountain News)

Two Denver Nuggets seek concealed handgun permits, will level the playing field

(5)

NFL truth and rumors: After yesterday's coaching performance, Marty Schottenheimer earns himself a ticket to Miami where he can continue being Marino with a clipboard

(55)

Patriots “excessive” victory celebration upsets Charger players. Retaliatory drive-by shooting in 4…3…2…

(114)

(Inside College Hockey)

This week's college hockey power rankings; New Hampshire and Notre Dame move into top three

(15)

(Sportingo)

Real Madrid coach benches LA-bound Beckham, who was quoted after the game as saying "I'm glad me hair is still pretty."

"Ultimate Banger Challenge" follows route of gliztier Dakar Rally--but event is for the "unsuitable and inexperienced," with cars that cost no more than $200 and have only $30 worth of upgrades