Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Sports Archives for '2006-12-17 23:59:59'

# of Comments

Score Ol' Ball Coach 1, Tommy Bowden 0 this year in smack talk

(3)

Tour de France champ Floyd Landis* admits his career is all but over after testing positive for testosterone earlier this year

Brett Favre passes Dan Marino on the all-time completions list. Duke sucks

Board on Alabama football coach: $12 million is just fine. Board on Alabama-Birmingham football coach: $600,000 is too much. Fark: Same board for both schools

TO suffers a loss of respect after spitting on opponent. In other news, there were NFL players who had respect for TO until last night

(44)

(Sun Herald)

Miniature poodle becomes national tracking champion, looks fabulous with that camouflage

Michael Vick breaks 34-year-old record for most rushing yards by a quarterback

Jeff Bagwell retires ending a era of men who play with one team. Sorry Jeter, it was men

The biggest EPL upset of the year, West Ham United defeats Manchester United 1-0 The Sun is there

(22)

NFL Sunday: Discussion Thread

(658)

AC Milan boss says “when Shevchenko’s wife shouts, he runs under the bed like a lap dog.” Submitter would never let his wife tell him...coming dear

(11)

Knicks/Nuggets game recap, fast forward to 1:20 for the brawl

(85)

The NFL is starting to worry that the number of players getting arrested might hurt their image. Producers of "Playmakers" chuckle to themselves knowingly

Morton Anderson kicks his way to the NFL scoring record. Now get off his lawn

Lady Huskers win their third volleyball national championship. Duke sucks

Ten players, including NBA leading scorer Carmelo Anthony, suspended after wild brawl during end of Knicks/Nuggets game

(67)

Sat December 16, 2006:

# of Comments

Dallas SWAT team called to break up melee at HS basketball game, surprised to find Ron Artest and Ben Wallace not present

(hamptonroads.com)

After 23 years and the third-longest tenure at one school of any active college coach, Fisher Deberry retires from the Air Force Academy

The Ol' Ball Coach's wife gets her old man in trouble with the NCAA; surely not the first time a woman got a Cock into trouble

(11)

NFL gives R.U. fans a big F.U

(33)

Gilchrist raced to a half-century off only 40 balls but then accelerated for 24 in one over including a sequence of six, six, four, six to finish the over. Translation: The Aussies are destroying England

Today's college football discussion thread

(61)

(MLB.com)

The NY Yankees, the richest team in Major League baseball, helps the homeless by tossing them a couple of peanuts

(19)

Former Cowboy QB, Quincy Carter tries out for spot with the Cincinnati Bengals

(NCAA College Football)

Auburn suspends 3 players indefinitely

Philadelphia 76ers lose 10th straight game. They sure could use more practice

Italian defender Cannavaro named World Footballer of the Year

Ohio State football players considering taking a paycut

(20)

(Herald Tribune)

Flight to Athens makes emergency landing in Italy after soccer fans fight on board

(31)

Video presentation of USC's 2006 football season at Trojans team banquet omits UCLA game

Fri December 15, 2006:

# of Comments

Vatican to complete in soccer tournament. Yes, THAT Vatican. Look for Pope Benny to clutch his knee and roll around the grass grimacing

Joshua Freeman, president and CEO of Freeman Associates and Washington Capitals hockey team investor, dies in a plane crash at 42

Bonds' teammates lie, claim they are happy to have him back with Giants

(7)

Entire CBS news crew, even the guys, drool over the just-divorced Tom Brady

(Some United Hater)

"United empire secures King Dong"

(3)

What the NHL misses... and needs

(59)

Atlanta Falcons coach Jim Mora apologizes for publicly announcing he'd rather have the coaching job at the University of Washington, then goes back to losing

(44)

(WCPO.com)

The greatest bag tossers in the country will compete this weekend to settle Cincinnati's biggest backyard dispute: Who is the king of cornhole?

(62)

Retired Formula 1 great loses life behind the wheel of passenger car in Italy

Falcons Coach Mora tells radio station he'd leave team for Univ. of Washington job - in the middle of a NFL playoff run

(50)

NFL Quarterback, SWM, three-time Superbowl champion, brown hair/blue eyes/ridiculously dimpled chin, recent breakup, seeks SWF for relationship. Inquire at Patriots head office. No freaks

(24)

In the same week that his best friend on his former college football team wins the Heisman Trophy, Maurice Clarett gets transferred to a new prison

Plexiglass Burress opens his piehole yet again, says the Eagles have no chance of shutting him down

(36)

Carmelo Anthony is giving 1.5 million dollars to a youth center in Baltimore to benefit after school educational and recreational programs for children

Much like his career, Cal Ripken Jr. may acquire Orioles in a long, over-hyped, and overrated transfer of power

John DeLorean's secret other racket uncovered via patent search, reveals love for other kinds of white lines

(49)

Bode Miller is pissed that the US Ski Team is making him stay at the team's hotel. In other news, Bode Miller is still alive, and still an asshat

Winner of Grandma's Marathon tests positive for steroids. Senile? Is nothing sacred?

(36)

Through a complex series of computer algorithms and votes from journalists, players, coaches, trainers, and schoolteachers – Liverpool will face Barcelona in Champions League sweet 16

(Richmond Times & Dispatch)

(CNNSI)

Seahawks attempt to throw division championship party, promptly crashed by 49rs, refs

(47)

Marcus Vick being sued for $6.3 million because he didn't really love that teenager a couple years ago

Sidney Crosby considers himself undeserving of title of NHL's 'best player.' Dozens of fans would disagree

(39)

Chelsea's £30million striker Shevchenko is now sitting on the bench. The good news? He's not the kind of guy who says "I'm giving 110%." The bad? Scheva does refer to Scheva in the third person

(13)

Swedish astronaut attempts to break Frisbee-toss world record while in space, proving he has no understanding of the term world record

(4)

(bizjournals.com)

That Papa John's pizza you bought went towards buying the Miami Dolphins

(28)

Rams running back Steven Jackson criticizes fans, makes vauge threat about team moving to Los Angeles

(20)

Chicago Bears fan has 42 Autographs of Current and Former Players Tattooed. Don't Believe his Lies

Indianapolis has a shot at the Super Bowl. Too bad the Colts won't be there. Duke sucks

(7)

(UAA Hockey Blog)

Due to hockey fight suspensions the University Of Alaska Anchorage is holding open tryouts to play in tomorrow nights game. Moose need not apply

(Kristv)

Dale Earnhardt's $100,000 racing suit recovered. 200 mph chase eluded police until they finally pulled over, waited for suspect to pass again

(2)

Thu December 14, 2006:

# of Comments

David Pollack might not be a Bengal long enough to be arrested

Former Red Sox outfielder Johnny Damon not the least bit upset over Matsuzaka's $52 million deal after being being picked up by the Yankees for the exact same amount

(30)

The NBA's most efficient players list, not surprisingly no Morrison porno stache anywhere in sight. Charlotte sucks

Michigan's Chad Henne and Jake Long each announce that they'll be more then happy to go 0-4 against Ohio State

(30)

Another sportswriter tries out the idea of the Red Sox being the Second Evil Empire, kinda likes it...kinda turns him on

(47)

Winds with gusts of 50 mph are expected in Seattle for the football game this evening (with pic of man who doesn't eat Hungry Man dinners)

(47)

Everything's okay because John Rocker has a black girlfriend. Oh, and according to him, Trey Stone and Matt Parker are liberals from Canada

(31)

(WBAL-TV 11)

Orioles worker steals memoribilia, sells on ebay, and gets caught by co-worker

Is LaDanian Tomlinson the best RB ever? This guy makes no arguments for but then goes on to orgasm about him

(61)

Home of Bears' defensive lineman Tank Johnson raided by Gurnee police, SWAT

(118)

(Greenville Online)

Clemson mens basketball ranked #1 in computer poll. Unlikely tag just isn't big enough for this poll

First Johnny Damon gets kicked off the team only one full season after he helped win their first title in 86 years, now the Boston Red Sox give his number to a guy being paid over $100 million having never played in MLB

(152)

(sporting news.com)

Troy Smith : "I would love to play for the Browns." Heisman committee: "Not with our award, you won't." OSU rescinds his degree

(41)

(Deadspin)

According to Terrell Owens, there are people in Cowboy's locker room that can't be trusted; you know, with personal information and pill bottles

Barbaro could be released from horsey hospital soon, hopefully to live out his days cavorting in the grass and getting tons of hot girl horsey ass for millions of dollars

Truth and rumors: Michael Vick may become the highest paid running back in the league

Dan Marino loses it in pre-game report

(65)

Naomi Campbell and Mike Tyson rumored to be hooking up

(33)

We all know THE ANSWER. Bill Simmons ponders the question

Detroit pitcher was injured during the playoffs due to playing "Guitar Hero" too much

(99)

(Sportingo)

Bidding Freddy Adu adieu: America's lost opportunity

(37)

Suns beat the Heat for 12th straight victory

(4)

Brian Urlacher gets owned. It is at three minutes, 40 seconds into the video

(37)

(Post-Gazette)

Joey Porter: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend nobody but Kellen Winslow. Pretty much, that's it about that"

(27)

Gibraltar given provisional UEFA membership. Spain: Why won't anyone listen to me, they are not a country, not a country! WWWAAAHHHH

(The State)

The NHL has a new scoring leader, But he's not old enough to drink so he can't hang out with Drew yet

(35)

Man who caused Janet Jackson's boobie to be revealed to the world for almost a whole half-second goes to the Sidelines Suite in the Sky. No, not that guy. Not that other one either... it's someone you've never heard of

(WFAA)

Super Bowl and AFL creator Lamar Hunt dead at 74

(36)

The Football Association of England wants FIFA to allow video replay to catch divers, submitter puts the likelyhood of this proposal passing at "better chance finding WMD in Iraq"

(198)

Ben Wallace scores 15 points, grabs 20 rebounds, and blocks five shots -- realizes the headband wasn't magic after all

Villanova basketball legend and Naismith Hall of Famer Paul Arizin dies in his sleep. Goodnight, Phillyman

(1)

A newcomer's guide to the Red Sox. Here's the Cliff's Notes: Get used to disappointment

(67)

Do you need easy, stress-free sociology credits? Are you an athlete? Why not consider Auburn University?

Padres plan to compete in West, sign 80-year-old Greg Maddux. Scouts sent to AARP meetings to find a lefty

Wed December 13, 2006:

# of Comments

Duke lacrosse players exonerated by DNA evidence, plan to celebrate with booze-fueled stripper party. Duke sucks

(199)

How bad does it suck when the Devil Rays don't renew your contract?

The sans-leather NBA basketball spurned by the league still has some fans left

East German doping victims to receive compensation, which, along with their steroid begotten Olympic medals, will provide them with some comfort

(1)

Tennis pro Lindsey Davenport achieves MILF status

(37)

(CNNSI.COM)

Matsuzaka signs with Red Sox. EVERYBODY JAPANIC

(46)

Ronaldinho eyes Club World glory. May even celebrate by getting those braces he's always wished for

Sorry Knicks fans. You can't have Isiah's head on a plate for Christmas. Not yours

(NY Daily News)

Photo gallery of New York Mets players who've played Santa Claus over the years. Oh, and Anna Benson as Mrs. Claus too

The Cleveland Browns have a problem with their staph... and it isn't the coach

Truth and rumors: Raiders' owner Al Davis exhibiting clear signs of physical pain in the press box every Sunday. Family concerned it could be a medical condition. Coaches concerned it could be their play calling

(13)

(Sports Illustrated)

Abbreviated coaching tenures. Several coaches should have been on this list but aren't

(NWA news.com)

Only in Arkansas: Parents of three freshmen meet with UA athletic director because their boys aren’t being used to their “full potential” by the head coach

England face the task of bowling out Australia twice at Perth

(sportsillustrated)

Looks like teh Chowdaheads can add sushi to the menu. Daisuke Matsuzaka reportedly on a plane to Boston

(196)

(Orlando Sentinel)

Ever wonder how the NFL computes QB ratings? Here comes the science

(35)

Brazil make 2014 World Cup bid. Afghanistan urged to make 2018 bid to complete "most dangerous cup locations" trifecta

(26)

Tiger Woods wins his eighth PGA Tour Player of the Year award. Duke sucks

Tue December 12, 2006:

# of Comments

Page 2 shows what is really on those laminated cards NFL coaches are carrying. Submitter unsurprised Art Shell's is a take-out menu

(Punt Bama, punt guy)

Bama has finally hired their new head coach

(Some Hockey Fan)

Ovechkin, Crosby, and Malkin are giving the NHL's tens of fans something to cheer about

(46)

One of two kick return touchdowns from Devin Hester's record-breaking performance on Monday Night Football

Public high schools using millions in tax money to build luxury suites in sports stadiums

Colorado Rockies trade Jason Jennings to the Houston Astros for CF Willy Taveras and a sack of very high quality magic beans

St Louis Cardinals request to view Carl Pavano's medical records, throw out back picking up documents

In honor of Hester's badassery let us remember his college days

(39)

It takes 8 members of the team being arrested for the Bengals coach to take notice and say something about it

(44)

New Dallas Cowboys stadium to cost $1 billion, host any possible event, cure world hunger

(33)

Only weeks after KC icon Buck O'Neil passes away, Chiefs patriarch Lamar Hunt seriously ill with cancer

Ex NFL cornerback to give former teammate a kidney

(40)

Bears fan not drunk enough to enjoy Belushi MNF cameo

Upon signing with the Baltimore Orioles, Jay Payton is ready to battle the 'two evil empires', book October vacations

(35)

Walker Texas Bagwell expected to retire within the week

Eric Gagne reaches deal to spend 2007 on the Texas Rangers disabled list

Old hotness: Dan Marino. new and busted: Peyton Manning

Allen Iverson doesn't care where he gets traded to as long as he gets out of Philly. Not so fast, Charlotte

(4)

This week's ESPN Power Rankings. That sucking sound is ESPN fellating the Bears and Saints

(117)

Airport security prevents Troy Smith from boarding a flight with his Heisman, preventing him from beating people to death with the trophy on the flight back. Bravo Homeland Security, Bravo

(124)

(NY Daily News)

Good news, Mets fans, and by "good news" we mean "bad news." Victor Zambrano will be pitching next year. Scott Kazmir unavailable, since he's picking up his All-Star jersey from the cleaners

(11)

Only about 500 people from Tennessee want to watch MTSU, which got a better bowl birth by losing its last game, play Central Michigan in Detroit in December

(Some creampuff schedule guy)

Arkansas follows up their excellent 2006 season by becoming an honorary member of the Sun Belt Conference in 2007. *insert incorrect whining about tough SEC schedules here*

(24)

(AOL)

Tony Kornheiser's getting worse, and ESPN's MNF program is just crappy overall. Who's the next guest in the booth? Alf? Britney Spears' cooter? A box of plastic sporks?

(84)

An examination of why the ACC sucked this past year for football

Video games blamed for England's soccer suck

PIttsburgh rallies back from 4 goals down for the first time in 19 years to beat Capitals in shootout. Conspiracy? Nah, the NHL would never want a shootout with the league's 4 hottest names

Alan Pardew becomes the first Premiership managerial casualty as West Ham realizes that the Pardew Shuffle isn't quite as cute as they had once thought, post vids and whatnot here to wish him bon voyage

(Greenville Online)

Clemson breaks into the top 25 in basketball for the first time in seven years

Much like the Colts run defense, Indianapolis WR Brandon Stokley is done for the season

Scott Boras says Daisuke Matsuzaka is worth more than $100M and is the "Fort Knox" of pitchers. Yeah, because he contains a lot less gold than people would think and is overhyped to Hell

(86)

Duke bans students from basketball ticket campout for wearing UNC

It's official: MLS wonderkid Freddy Adu gets his big transfer ... to Real ... um ... Salt Lake