Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Sports Archives for '2006-10-29 23:59:59'

# of Comments

(THE-BEE)

Lawnmower Driver of the Year. Yes, Lawn Mower. And He's Sporting the Miller Lite Gear

(Fox Sports)

West Virginia takes over the 3rd spot in the latest BCS poll

USC loss opens the door for Rutgers national championship

(37)

Toronto fans want asterisk by Buffalo Sabres winning streak due to new shootout rules, may be only winnable venture this year

A possible rematch of the OSU-Michigan game for the National Title: If this doesn't kill Bo, I don't know what will. Flame On

(60)

Sharapova wins 16th straight match and coveted spot in submitter's fapping fantasy rotation

Canadian scientists discover the exact spot hockey goalies need to watch to successfully block shots. Still no cure for Eric Lindros

Tony Stewart wins IROC title, $1 million prize. Will GIVE all the money back if they will schedule one IROC race at Eldora and have a dirt race...Now that's just cool

(Some Football Guy)

Sunday NFL Discussion Thread. Standard Time Style. Who are your picks this week?

(962)

Former heavyweight boxer Trevor Berbick found dead in Jamaica at 52 from hatchet wounds to the head; brilliant police work suspects homicide

(20)

(Some Guy in Stripes)

Caption this referee and sportswoman

(48)

Boston Celtics legend Red Auerbach has smoked his last cigar, passes away at age 89

(40)

French driver Sebastien Loeb wins world rally championship while sitting on his ass at his computer, proving that you too could win the world rally championship

(The Local)

Bomb threat empties Swedish hockey arena. What are the Coyotes doing in Sweden?

(4)

Powerhouses China and Indonesia share five titles at Badminton World Cup, proving there's a wussier World Cup than the grass-diving one

Sat October 28, 2006:

# of Comments

Bulgarian soccer player ordered by his team to get married in hopes it will curtail his 'wild living'

(1)

Last unbeaten Premiership team loses. Not normally strange except for that team is Aston Villa

(Rocky Mountain News)

Carmelo Anthony went from a typical knucklehead to the best player on team USA

(3)

Nearly 100 horses quarantined at race track for herpes. Those sluts

(3)

(Some Redwing)

Ever wanted to own a Detroit Red Wings Stanley Cup ring? Well Darren McCarty has 3 of 'em up for auction to pay off his gambling debts and his ex-wife

(Dell)

Knuckleballer Joe Niekro dies at 61. Nail files will never be the same

Sunday features final, ultimate Barber twin showdown. Ironic tag shows up because they never had hair to begin with

(Myles Brand)

Today's official college football discussion thread. LGT NCAA football statistics for this year so far and past years

(45)

Detroit Tigers get town, special cheese named after them

On eve of South Carolina/Tennessee game, Steve Spurrier explains why UT is such a perennial power. "I've never heard of anybody flunking out of Tennessee, have you?"

St. Louis Cardinals win the World Series. ESPN pretends to care

(310)

Fri October 27, 2006:

# of Comments

David Eckstein played for the Jewish All-American team in college, gets criticism for playing on Yom Kippur, and is often invited to Bar Mitzvahs. Difficulty: He's not Jewish

The Sports Guy's NFL power rankings. Duke sucks

Barry bonds to file for free agency as soon as possible

(35)

Michael Irvin fires back at Tiki: "Quitters can't be leaders"

(46)

(Publican)

Brewery kicks off new beer for football fans. At 4.2% alcohol, they obviously meant "soccer."

World Series Game 5 Discussion thread...Talk about the Cardinals efforts to do in the playoffs what they couldn't do in the regular season...End with a record more than five games above .500

(973)

(Cincinnati Enquirer)

Cincinnati Bengal's WR Chad Johnson decrees that his new name is "Ocho Cinco," promises to get teammate T.J. Whoseyomomma involved in his TD celebration, and promises to pay his resulting fine. And that was in just one interview

Woman suing Detroit Lion for breaking up her engagement with another man and wooing her into moving in with him with promises of marriage, lifelong security and her own business. That's just what we call pillow-talk, Baby

Man who tried to extort NBA star Carmelo Anthony fouls out of life for the next 3 years

British soccer team owner tells his players either win, or he'll get rid of them all. Toronto Maple Leafs executives reportedly intrigued by this idea

Scrabble-playing carpenter gets 830-point world record game, including 365 points in a single turn for playing "QUIXOTRY" across two Triple Word Scores

(43)

Refs call game after Bruins fans mistake ice for giant trash bin, which is uderstandable considering the team that skates on it

(31)

T.O. says he feels 'better chemistry' with Tony Romo than with Drew Bledsoe, primarily because Romo hasn't played enough to not throw to him yet

(25)

Doug Barron, PGA golfer, mistaken for LPGA golfer after showing man-boobs at Chrysler Championship

Not News: Dallas coach and his family eat at McDonalds. News: They find a rat and sue for $1.7M. Fark: Story finds a way to mention TO

(185)

This way off the Detroit Tiger World Series bandwagon, please follow Gene Wojciechowski on the way out. Makes sure to kick Kenny Rogers in the balls for Leyland not being able to pitch him outside of Detroit too

(59)

Sportswriters get All-Star game put on hold because the press box is too small, not enough hot dogs served

(56)

NCAA thinking about expanding into Canada, not sure if their football is a fair catch

(20)

And you thought Cleveland had bad team mascot names: the Nippon Ham Fighters clinch the Japan Series championship

Thu October 26, 2006:

# of Comments

(Deadspin.com)

Think your team's arena name is bad? Check out where the Phoenix Suns are playing now

(47)

Offical WS Game 4 thread: unless rained out, in which case use this thread to talk smack for another night

(874)

Study finds that the NHL is depleting the European talent pool, which would explain Andreas Lilja

(4)

(Sports Illustrated)

SI sportswriter goes from zero to douchebag in three paragraphs while writing about the World Series from a 'New York point of view'

Detroit manager Jim Leyland rejects calls for neutral World Series site, says it's vitally important to have home games in 39-degree rain

(84)

Two Louisville wide receivers suspended after shooting woman with paintball gun. Odds of being drafted by Bengals or Raiders looking good, though

The exciting Texans-Titans match-up tops Peter King's Week 8 predictions, with the Chiefs upsetting the Seahawks earning his grande half-caf, half-decaf double-maple latte mortal lock of the week

(29)

Plaxico Burress says he slips because of slick field, but says T.O. slips because he's a coward

After another dismal post-season, Yankees plan to rebuild their farm system and forget building a team around free agents. And if you believe that, I got a subway in the Bronx to sell you

(34)

Route for 2007 Tour de France unveiled. No word where the steroid stations will be located

Cancer, schmancer. Canadian scientists finally get their priorities straight and discover keys to being a successful hockey goalie

(MLB.com)

Derek Jeter stands by his man

(5)

Raiders owner Al Davis tells columnist if he were 20 years younger he would "kick his butt." Is immediately offered contract with own team

The greatest fight(s) in the history of hockey... eh?

(35)

(Some Coonhound)

Alabama coach Mike Shula's latest excuse for losing to Tennessee: Your mascot bit my player

(60)

Keyshawn Johnson not happy that NBC is promoting upcoming Carolina-Dallas contest as 'revenge' game

(AOL Sports)

Tiki Barber catches up with the rest of the world, realizes Michael Irvin is an idiot

(43)

NFL reinstates Jerry Porter after serving two games of four-game suspension. His return to the Oakland Raiders is expected to double their win total by the end of the season

New York Knicks season ticket orders down 15% on the news that the New York Knicks still suck

(4)

(Rochester D&C)

Not only are the Buffalo Sabres 9-0, but their farm team in Rochester is 7-0 as well

At 6-0, the Indianapolis Colts have plenty of doubters. Bonus: Michael Irvin makes a coherent point

(26)

Colorado Avalanche center Joe Sakic becomes 11th player in NHL history to score 1,500 points

(deadspin)

We've secretly replaced game 4 of the World Series with episodes of "The War at Home". Let's see if anyone notices. Bonus: FOX lies about the weather

(183)

(NY Daily News)

NYU's golf coach gets more then a two-stroke penalty after taking his team to a strip club

(38)

(SI.com)

David Beckham seen packing up sarong and man-purse as Real Madrid said to be close to unloading him

MLS: Where a $500 fine for unsportsmanlike behavior is still pretty darn painful

(Some guter alter Junge)

Boogity Boogity Boogity, Rumors that Michael Schumacher has signed a $10 million deal to drive the two NASCAR road races Ihr Hund wünscht Sauerkraut (more than half way down page)

Yankees to Gary Sheffield: We're giving you $13 million next season. Sheffield to Yankees: Die in a fire

(26)

Matt Leinart has a kid with his basketball player ex-girlfriend. The bigger question: who hasn't had sex with Matt Leinart?

The scout who discovered and signed Albert Pujols to the St. Louis Cardinals now stocks shelves at a Wal-Mart in Arkansas

David Stern asking NBA players to leave their guns at home. No word on whether or not Latrell Sprewell will be asked to leave his hands at home

Wed October 25, 2006:

# of Comments

Roy Williams thinks the Lions can go 9-0 the rest of the season and finish 10-6. NFL orders immediate drug test

Stephon Marbury out with foot injury. It's gotta be the $15 shoes

"Leinart didn't just crap the bed, he dumped Najeh Davenport's laundry hamper all over it." Quote of the year, from The Sports Guy

(23)

Michael Waltrip's crew chief fined for four separate rule infractions. Still no explanation for why the team can't even make a decent left turn this year

Just three days after suffering a concussion, Ben Roethlisberger practices and says he's likely to start against Raiders or something like that

World Series Game 4 discussion thread. Freely discuss previous games until gametime as you wish but after that you will be flogged for doing so

(298)

Tony Romo steals Bledsoe's job. Bledsoe counters by opening up rib restaurant

Cisco previews spiffy fan-tech features of next new baseball stadium. Giants' AT&T Park hangs head, slinks into the bay

(WSMV Nashville)

Tennessee Titans linebacker's wife withdraws charges

Cardinals QB Matt Leinart became a proud papa Tuesday night. Cardinals consider upgrading their offensive line by starting the baby Sunday vs. the Packers

(foxsports)

"The 49ers actually rank fourth in the league in first-quarter offense, which is usually one of the leading indicators of a good team. Unfortunately, they aren't really doing well in any of the other indicators"

Yankees GM Brian Cashman says they won't trade A-Rod, has to work out details of the divorce with Derek Jeter first

Nuggets waive Anthony

(NewsChannel 5)

Shaquille O'Neal took part in botched kiddie porn raid at wrong house. Now facing heat both on and off, and in and out of court

(82)

Giants considering Bobby Valentine as manager. Valentine + Bonds = one fantastic year of Fark headline fodder

(8)

Having inherited the title of "boring left-handed pitcher with long career that nobody can explain" from Paul Assenmacher and Jim Kaat, Jamie Moyer signs two-year extension with Philadelphia Phillies

Tiger Woods demonstrating his accuracy on "Ellen"

(41)

The Lions' 2004 No. 1 pick, Roy Williams, is just now doubting the Lions

First Sunday Night Football flex-schedule game announced: Bears @ Giants

(66)

(Detroit Tiger Weblog)

Tigers highlights from Game 3: Neifi Perez comes off the bench and makes a nifty double play to retire the side in the 8th inning. Yeah, that's it

Once again, Ben Roethlisberger is a question mark. Terrell Owens downgraded from a colon to a very bad period

(AOL Sports)

Edgerrin James dismayed to discover that he really is actually playing for the Arizona Cardinals

(FOX News)

British oddsmakers have 4-1 odds on Beckham playing futbol in the U.S. next year. Vegas has 100-1 that anyone in the U.S. gives a bloody sheet

(Escapist)

How the Madden franchise has changed the NFL

Todd Skinner free climbs the Great Big Wall in the sky

(20)

NFL owners approve plan to play at least two regular season games in foreign countries such as Canada. Fans now expected to learn American words for terms like "rouge"

Sailing legend Sir Robin Knox-Johnston sails solo around the world in a craft barely large enough to contain his enormous brass balls

(8)

(MyTelus)

Canadians officials "concerned" to discover there's fighting in hockey. And not just on the ice, but in the stands, the hallways and the dressing rooms if it's a good one

Tue October 24, 2006:

# of Comments

Top 10 cheaters in Baseball history. If you guessed number 1 was Barry Bonds, you get a shiny new dime

(30)

'Golf rage' causing golf dolts to attack other golf dolts on golf courses

(77)

More dirt for Dirtgate - Cardinals now say they have five or six balls Rogers was scuffing during Game 2 of the World Series

(32)

New owner of the Seattle Supersonics promptly threatens to move the team unless the team gets a new arena

Old conventional wisdom: Kenny Rogers probably didn't do anything. New conventional wisdom: Kenny Rogers did something, but its the same thing everybody else in the league does

FIFA report finds that more than half of the injuries requiring stoppage of play at this year's World Cup were complete and utter bollocks

(99)

(Some Card cheater)

St. Louis McDonald's offers up $1 Big Macs for every World Series game. Note to Cards fans, these Big Macs come without steroids

Let the dirt slinging begin. Official WS Game 3 thread

(847)

Taco Bell to offer free tacos to everyone in America if a player hits a home run to left or centre field during tonight's World Series game (offer not valid in Canada)

(170)

Da Bears defeat Da Bye to stay atop the NFL power rankings for the 4th straight week

(34)

Buffalo Sabres still #1 in Power Rankings on way to 82-0 season

(25)

Cardinals manager denies his relationship with Tigers manager impacted his decision not to confront Kenny Rogers dirty hands. A-Rod and Derek Jeter look each other in the eye, and giggle like little schoolgirls as the O'RLY? owl flies by

Nets' rookie Adams shows up 55 minutes late for DUI trial. "Are you not taking this seriously, sir?" judge asks

Joe Girardi takes himself out of the running for Nationals job, saying "In the end, I realized that no matter where they play or what they call themselves, they're still the Montreal Expos."

(Nevada Sage Brush)

University revises tailgating policy, bans beer pong, sees drop in attendance

(66)

MLB sanctions a new Yankee Christmas ornament bearing the team's logo with a beaming Santa waving. Fark: Santa is flying a lidle plane

Roethlisberger out with concussion. This time, he actually had a helmet on

(8)

2007 NBA Champs: the LA Clippers. Just ignore the fact that they have 3 Duke players on the roster

(WSMV)

The Tennessee Titans, continuing to clean their image up, only have one player being arrested for beating his wife this week

(3)

Cleveland Brown's offensive coordinator quits after team's on-field performance makes soccer look high-scoring by comparison

Who is the best team in the AFC North? The 2-4 Steelers who just lost a QB to concussion and who suffered defensive collapses in three of the last four games

Chevorlet to phase out the Monte Carlo next season in NASCAR in favor of the Impala SS

(21)

Truth&Rumors: Future Hall of Fame Quarterback may retire this week

(47)

Day Two of "DirtGate" and the question must be asked: Are we, as Americans, any safer from Kenny Rogers' soiled hand of doom?

(74)

NFL Power Rankings, Week 8. Cardinals can't decide what's worse-- almost beating the top ranked Bears or getting beaten by the worst ranked Raiders

(58)

Fox discovers that baseball, even the World Series, is no longer America's game

(38)

(Sports Illustrated)

Major League Baseballs biggest playoff controversies of all time

(25)

The physics of baseball's most popular illegal pitches

When Ron Artest is NOT the one getting arrested from your basketball team you know you've got a problem

Romo arigato, Mr. Drew Bledsoe

In addition to holding the NY Giants' record for largest piece of rope used as dental floss, Michael Strahan ties Lawrence Taylor's team record for sacks

"When the West Ham player fouled me, I reacted in a bit of a mischievous way"...dude, you bit the guy

(Hardball Times)

The effects cold temperature has on October baseball

(WSB Radio)

Two major TV networks will not refer to Saturday's annual Georgia-Florida game as the "World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party" finally alleviating the students of their rampant alcoholism

The Sabres are now 9-0. Plans begin to convert Ralph Wilson Stadium into hockey rink. Bills join Arena Football League

(57)

(WLTX.com)

Here's to you, Mr. "Pulls a Gun on Youth Football Coach Because Your Seven-Year-Old Son Isn't Getting Enough Playing Time" Guy

Chargers LB Merriman sacks up and admits using steroids. Naw just kidding, he blamed the legal "supplement" he was taking

Will Smith in group trying to buy 76ers, wants to use older players with crappy lyrics

Mon October 23, 2006:

# of Comments

According to Kelly Hrudey, weak NHL attendance in warm-weather markets doesn't mean much, and U.S. youth hockey participation is better gauge

(34)

Giants at Cowboys on MNF: NFL's leading rusher vs. NFL's leading rush defense. Gonna be a good one. Discuss

(324)