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Sun May 09, 2010
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(ESPN) Sappy Paralyzed wrestler manages to walk at his graduation. Moment spoiled when King Kong Bundy hits him in the back of the head with a steel chair  (sports.espn.go.com) (30)
(ESPN) Fail Cavaliers lose, which is what usually happens when you let the other team's point guard get 18 rebounds  (scores.espn.go.com) (41)
(ESPN) Cool Dallas Braden finds the perfect way to keep anyone from running across the mound  (sports.espn.go.com) (186)
(ESPN) Interesting Can the Blackhawks close out the Canucks? Or will a clean-shaven Roberto Luongo tighten up in goal for Vancouver? Only one game on the schedule today, let's make it a good one  (espn.go.com) (353)
(Kirby the Kestrel) Spiffy It looks like fans of the Minnesota Twins have found something exciting to watch at the new Target Field as an American Kestrel Hawk has been keeping them entertained with its moth-eating displays  (blogs.citypages.com) (49)
(ESPN) Interesting Will King James feast on the Celtics? Will the Suns set on the Spurs? Find out in the Sunday NBA Playoff conversation  (espn.go.com) (182)
(ESPN) Interesting Tiger Woods pulls out after seven holes due to an uncomfortable bulge  (sports.espn.go.com) (28)
(CNN) Interesting Sports Illustrated list of top 20 sportscasters of all time. List is full of fail without Joe Buck  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (178)
(Some Guy) PSA Game 11 of the World Chess Championship Discussion Thread. Plenty of time to comment. Plenty of time. Oh wait, someone moved  (susanpolgar.blogspot.com) (31)
(Chicago Tribune) Amusing A brief history of idiots who run onto the field during baseball games. Hey, if it's the Cubs or the Phillies, at least it gives you something exciting to see  (chicagotribune.com) (29)
(BBC) Cool Can a Red Bull stay in one piece for an entire race? Will Hamilton pass more drivers, continuing calls that he can't do that ? It's your Grand Prix of Spain thread - 2010 edition. Bonus: RAIN now forecasted for a smashingly good time  (news.bbc.co.uk) (25)
(BBC) Cool It's the final day of the EPL season and all that remains is for Chelsea to be crowned champions  (news.bbc.co.uk) (83)
(JSOnline) Misc Latest player to hit for the cycle? Oh wait... he doesn't play for the teams constantly covered by ESPN, so I guess this won't make the sports tab  (jsonline.com) (36)
(Major League Baseball) Cool Citi Field, first 97 games: 0 walk-off home runs. Citi Field, last 2 games: 2 walk-off home runs  (newyork.mets.mlb.com) (32)
(Major League Baseball) Cool Off the glove, 20 feet in the air, slapped to the second baseman, nothing but out  (sandiego.padres.mlb.com) (22)
(ESPN) Fail The Red Sox have surrendered a total of 24 runs to the Yankees in the last two games. That's some mighty fine run prevention, Lou  (sports.espn.go.com) (42)
(Nola.com) Obvious Sean Payton says, "Do I want to sign JaMarcus Russell? What, you think I'm on drugs?"  (nola.com) (60)

Sat May 08, 2010
(NASCAR) Cool Happy Mother's Day weekend, Lady in Black. Saturday night NASCAR at Darlington  (nascar.com) (261)
(ESPN) Cool We don't care if half the continent is having a heat wave, it's still hockey season in our hearts - Montreal vs Pittsburgh @ 7 ET, Detroit vs San Jose @ 10 ET  (espn.go.com) (870)
(Some Couch Black Belt) Interesting Your UFC 113 fight thread: Machida vs Shogun  (ufc.com) (415)
(MSNBC) Spiffy Latest Japanese import to American professional baseball is a knuckleball pitcher. An 18-year old, fresh-out-of-high-school female pitcher. Yes, you would hit it  (nbcsports.msnbc.com) (50)
(ESPN) Spiffy Magic vs Hawks, Lakers vs Jazz - it's your Saturday NBA Playoff conversation  (espn.go.com) (72)
(Free Press) Amusing LeBron James' elbow has a Twitter account, with over 8,000 followers. God help us all if he ever cheats on his wife  (freep.com) (20)
(BBC) Cool Will Red Bull continue their dominance in qualifying? Will uni-brow be able to keep himself from eating Massa? Can Schumey finally turn things around? It's your F1 qualifying, homecoming edition thread  (news.bbc.co.uk) (32)
(ESPN) Dumbass NFL defensive Rookie of the Year, Brian Cushing, suspended 4 games for testing positive for steroids, being a typical USC douchebag  (sports.espn.go.com) (38)
(LA Times) Asinine L.A. Dodgers owner pays $637,159 a month for a) Manny's salary, b) Dodgers advertising, or c) Spousal support for his recently divorced wife  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (29)
(Florida Today) Florida Drunk, belligerent, Tasered: the only way to watch professional golf  (floridatoday.com) (11)
(ESPN) Cool Jamie Moyer keeps the Braves off his lawn, becomes the oldest pitcher to ever throw a complete game shut out  (scores.espn.go.com) (66)

Fri May 07, 2010
(ESPN) Followup Even A-Rod haters want Oakland A's pitcher Dallas Braden to shut the fark up already about baseball's "unwritten rule" about running on the mound  (sports.espn.go.com) (37)
(USA Today) Spiffy Montreal to join MLS in 2012 and field their own team in soccer, or, as it's known in Canada, "grass hockey"  (usatoday.com) (51)
(ESPN) Sick Unfortunate sponsored link on LT's statutory rape article  (curtiscalhoun.com) (13)
(TMZ) Followup 16 year old girl that had sex with Lawrence Taylor "My pimp told me to tell him that I was 19". State of New York to Lawrence Taylor "It doesn't matter if she lied, by the way don't drop the soap"  (tmz.com) (91)
(NHL) Cool Will Satan damn the Flyers to playoff elimination? Will the Hawks be facing the Canucks or the Canuckleheads? Your Friday NHL playoff thread is here. BOS@PHI 7PM, CHI@VAN 9:30PM  (nhl.com) (694)
(ESPN) Cool Celtics and Cavaliers have Game 3 at the Garden, while Los Suns travel to battle the Spurs in San Antonio. Friday night NBA playoffs thread  (espn.go.com) (135)
(Chicago Tribune) Dumbass Minnesota Twins learn one more new benefit to opening an outdoor ballpark after 30 years in a domed stadium  (chicagobreakingsports.com) (18)
(USA Today) Fail When all was said and done. JaMarcus Russell "earned" $110,000 per completion  (content.usatoday.com) (46)
(New York Daily News) Unlikely Lawrence Taylor didn't know the underage, runaway, beaten hooker was underage  (nydailynews.com) (145)
(BBC) Amusing SA police chief: "Our famous prayer is that the Americans don't make the second round"  (news.bbc.co.uk) (55)
(ESPN) Interesting The Winnipeg Jets could be coming back sooner than you think now that Jerry Reinsdorf and his group have bowed out of bidding for the Coyotes  (sports.espn.go.com) (60)
(Wall Street Journal) Obvious "You see those pink Yankees hats all over the place. I don't see pink Mets hats."  (online.wsj.com) (60)
(ESPN) Dumbass Orlando takes a 2-0 series lead with their "depend on Vince Carter" strategy, which is a great idea which can't possibly backfire on them at some point in the near future  (scores.espn.go.com) (29)
(STLToday) Asinine Intern is offered 'menial' job following her internship, goes Full American and sues. Wait, you were offered any kind of job after an internship? Welcome to Entry Level, Snowflake  (stltoday.com) (61)
(CNN) Obvious Peter King: Raiders make a "smart move" by cutting JaMarcus Russell. King's other trenchant observations: Water is "refreshing," gravity is "awesome" and the sun is "warm"  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (79)
(Major League Baseball) Hero AAA game proves more entertaining than MLB as Will Ferrell takes the mound and sprays beer on a player  (mlb.mlb.com) (18)
(Toronto Star) Amusing Gumball Rally driver hits a speedbump with Ontario's speeding laws involving roadside 7 day license suspension and vehicle impoundment  (thestar.com) (26)
(Honolulu Advertiser) Cool An Ironman triathalon consists of a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bike ride, and a 26.2-mile run. These two men will attempt to complete five of them. In five days  (honoluluadvertiser.com) (69)
(ESPN) Amusing Franzen scores a hat trick in the space of five minutes as the Red Wings try to make like the '04 Red Sox  (espn.go.com) (71)
(NJ.com) Obvious During their first American tour in 6 years, Manchester United agree to play MLS All-Stars this July in balmy Houston, Texas  (nj.com) (41)
(Yahoo) Sad The Penn State student section is being moved to the stadium's upper deck. Hopefully those poor students can afford binoculars along with their tuition  (rivals.yahoo.com) (57)
(ESPN) Interesting Scott Olsen flirts with a no-hitter, ends up with a no decision  (sports.espn.go.com) (40)

Thu May 06, 2010
(Yahoo) Fail Kids saddened after they were promised the New England Patriots and they get...an intern  (sports.yahoo.com) (47)
(ESPN) Misc Will the Atlanta Hawks get revenge for the beatdown the Orlando Magic put on them in game one? Tune in and see. This is your NBA Playoff thr... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz   (espn.go.com) (81)
(NHL) Cool Will the Pens beat Halak? Will the Sharks get out the Brooms in Detroit? It's your Thursday night NHL playoffs thread  (nhl.com) (813)
(ESPN) Fail Raiders drop JaMarcus Russell, registers 6.3 on the Richter Scale  T-Shirt  (sports.espn.go.com) (139)
(Yahoo) Unlikely "Adolescent boys could get the wrong message", say critics of the under-16 football team that just signed a sponsorship deal with Hooters  (news.yahoo.com) (20)
(Yahoo) Amusing Cut by the Mariners, outfielder Eric Byrnes finds a league where he can have some more success  (sports.yahoo.com) (29)
(ESPN) Interesting Live blog from TPC Sawgrass, Day 1. Tiger's round is just underway, with his tee shot sailing majestically into a grove of trees to the left of the fairway  (sports.espn.go.com) (19)
(Philly) Sad Gee Whiz. Phillies Hall of Phamer Robin Roberts is dead at 83  (philly.com) (21)
(ESPN) Unlikely Mike Zimmer: "Pacman Jones is humble"  (sports.espn.go.com) (16)
(SFGate) Interesting NFL is already making plans for a long 2011 lockout, may invest in the UFL and seek replacement players who are more convincing that Keanu Reeves  (sfgate.com) (55)
(ESPN) Sad Antoine Walker wants to come back to the NBA so he can have more money to horribly mismanage  (sports.espn.go.com) (21)
(Washington Post) Sad Another black eye for ACC lacrosse, rich white kids  (voices.washingtonpost.com) (85)
(Some Guy) Dumbass UNC, NCSU, Texas, Texas A&M, Oklahoma to bolt to SEC, Duke to join Big Ten, according to former BYU player who clearly has been smoking something that Joseph Smith would disapprove of  (southcarolina.scout.com) (72)
(NYPost) News Police tackle Lawrence Taylor on rape charges  (nypost.com) (361)
(AP) Amusing Celtics GM Danny Ainge admits "it was unprofessional." It was just a towel, and he was just trying to help his team win  (hosted.ap.org) (31)
(New York Daily News) Interesting SI jinx raises its game, takes out Posada, Rivera, Pettitte, but still wants no part of Jeter  (nydailynews.com) (15)
(CBS Sports) Interesting Good article about Tim Lincecum being 5-0 with a 1.49 ERA, though for some reason they keep misspelling his name as "Barry Zito". Seems kind of unprofessional but whatever  (cbssports.com) (43)
(Sports Radio Interviews) Dumbass RB LenDale White explains why the Tennessee Titans went from 13-3 in 2008 to 8-8 in 2009. It's because Chris Johnson, who ran for over 2000 yards, carried the ball too much while White didn't carry the ball enough  (sportsradiointerviews.com) (37)
(ESPN) Sick Milton Bradley finally admits what everybody has known for years: He's a headcase and he needs help  (sports.espn.go.com) (59)
(Canada.com) Sad Dead Croatian soccer player yellow-carded for faking it  (vancouversun.com) (35)
(Denver Post) Unlikely Tebow's jersey is #1 is sales on NFL.com. Is there anything this guy can't do? Besides develop a quality throwing motion that is  T-Shirt  (denverpost.com) (80)

Wed May 05, 2010
(AJC) Amusing When holding a ceremony to honor the Braves' manager, it's important to make sure you don't misspell his name on the cock...erm, cake  (blogs.ajc.com) (32)
(ESPN) Interesting San Antonio is burning, it's Cinco de Mayo in Arizona, and the Suns are at home. Do the Spurs have a chance tonight? NBA playoffs discussion thread  (scores.espn.go.com) (64)
(NHL) Cool Will Patrick Kane keep his shirt on while in Vancouver? Who does Mark Recchi plan on biting tonight? Your Wednesday Stanley Cup playoffs discussion thread  (nhl.com) (725)
(Life.com) Cool Jim Brown is the greatest pro athlete to ever wear the number 32. Discuss  (life.com) (169)
(USA Today) Amusing Mr. Rooney: "The Steelers, I have no choice. But ... our quarterback is still an idiot"  (content.usatoday.com) (14)
(Celebitchy) Stupid "Tiger used to rub the tips of his shoes together and ask, "What's this?"  (celebitchy.com) (34)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Four months after suffering massive brain injury while practicing "double cork" for Vancouver Olympics, Kevin Pearce is miraculously walking and talking with no difficulty  (sports.yahoo.com) (15)
(Guardian.com) Cool Steve Nash is hoping the Spurs win today  (guardian.co.uk) (73)
(Some Blue Dress) Dumbass It turns out Roethlisberger wanted "Clinton sex." Ewww  (profootballtalk.nbcsports.com) (118)
(Some Guy) Strange Yeah, cause when I think of the perfect mascot for a minor league soccer team, it's the "Wolf Blitzers"  (fcbuffalo.org) (22)
(New York Daily News) Obvious Limbaugh's NFL gig: an outrageous effrontery to all that is good and and nuanced and hopey...SHUN. Olbermann's MLB gig: that faint sound you hear is the rustling of double standards punctuated by the odd cricket  (nydailynews.com) (157)
(ESPN) Cool Patrick Marleau and Joe Thornton lead the Sharks to a commanding 3-0 lead over the Detroit Red Wings. This is most definitely not a repeat  (espn.go.com) (188)

Tue May 04, 2010
(Free Press) Sad Ernie Harwell, Hall of Fame radio broadcaster for the Detroit Tigers, is long gone at 92  (freep.com) (100)
(ESPN) Obvious Turns out those clubs used by Tiger Woods during his "Tiger Slam" aren't really the clubs that he used. Oops  (sports.espn.go.com) (15)
(TSN) Amusing Jaromir Jagr to continue to phone it in for Avangard Omsk for another year. Difficulty: Surprisingly self aware "I don't believe many clubs would like to have me"  (tsn.ca) (20)
(ESPN) Cool Hawks go to Orlando to see what a real NBA team looks like, and Lakers prepare to lose Game 2 at home just to keep the series with the Jazz exciting. It's your NBA playoffs thread  (espn.go.com) (95)
(Fanster) Cool Phoenix Suns thumb nose at new Arizona immigration law, plan to wear their Spanish-language "Los Suns" jerseys for Cinco de Mayo. Excelente  (phoenix.fanster.com) (89)
(USA Today) Obvious Police stand behind officer who tasered Phillies fan. Presumably, to tase him in the back  (content.usatoday.com) (82)
(NHL) Cool Will Halak's heroics allow Montreal to steal the series lead at home? Will the Sharks begin to choke away their 2-0 lead tonight? It's your Tuesday Stanley Cup Play-Off Thread  (nhl.com) (1224)
(Free Press) Ironic Number one draft pick for the Detroit Lions met Jay-Z, who told him "Don't let the money change you," before getting into his chauffered Maybach to return to his mansion and his wife Beyonce  (freep.com) (49)
(Omaha World Herald) Interesting Nebraska football needs to join the the Big Ten. It would increase their revenue and allow them to beat up Rich Rodriguez's Michigan every year  (omaha.com) (106)
(Some Guy) Amusing Red Wings coach Mike Babcock makes a pre-game speech before tonight's battle with the Sharks. It's tremendous  (dirtygames.ca) (22)
(CNN) Obvious Stephen StrAAsburg becomes Stephen StrAAAsburg   (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (38)
(Chicago Tribune) Stupid Bulls fire Vinny del Negro and hope to entice free agents with the likes of Lawrence Frank, Kevin McHale, Maurice Cheeks, Byron Scott, Dwane Casey, and Eric Musselman  (chicagotribune.com) (39)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Ah, spring. The first robin appears, the first flower blooms, the first Cincinnati Bengal gets arrested. Bonus: He was a criminal justice major  (wlwt.com) (18)
(NHL) Amusing I guess that it should come as no surprise that Satan can be a bit of a jerk  (nhl.com) (66)
(YouTube) Video Cardinals at Phillies: Last year was lasers, this year we get tasers. Fan runs onto field, gets zapped in front of sellout crowd (HD video)  (youtube.com) (256)
(ESPN) Amusing Rajon Rondo: 19 assists. Cleveland Cavaliers' entire team: 17 assists. Take a guess as to which team won  (espn.go.com) (44)
(MSNBC) Dumbass Corey Dillon shows that you can take the player out of the Bengals, but you can't take the Bengal out of the player  (nbcsports.msnbc.com) (15)
(Japan Times) Cool Japanese baseball's "Iron Man" sits after 1,492 games, played more consecutive innings then Cal Ripken Jr and will have uniform enshrined in Cooperstown  (search.japantimes.co.jp) (37)

Mon May 03, 2010
(Yahoo) Strange Cleveland Browns finally get tired of sucking, find a renowned draft prospect expert for advice. Just kidding, they signed a guy they found on YouTube  (sports.yahoo.com) (34)
(ESPN) Obvious Celtics look for revenge against the Cavaliers, while the Suns welcome the Spurs to Phoenix, as long as all of the Spurs have their citizenship paperwork in order. It's your NBA playoffs thread  (espn.go.com) (219)
(CNN) Stupid Peter King suggests the New Orleans Saints' Super Bowl title will somehow be sullied if the Vicodin story is true, kisses his Vikings #4 jersey before going to bed at night  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (63)
(Chicago Tribune) Unlikely Bears coach Mike Martz says the team's receiver corps "will be the strength of this team," making it clear that facts are not a strength of Mike Martz  (chicagotribune.com) (40)
(670 The Score) Cool Can the B's go up 2-0 on the Flyers? Will the Blackhawks draw even with the Canucks? Your NHL playoff doubleheader thread is here  (wscr.cbslocal.com) (557)
(ESPN) Interesting Tiger Slam clubs available on ebay with only minor glass and skull damage  (sports.espn.go.com) (18)
(Mercury News) Obvious "You know, I don't consider myself a goal scorer," said Joe Thornton. Well, that's the smartest thing he's said in a while  (mercurynews.com) (22)
(Covers) Interesting The five best conspiracy theories in sports history  (covers.com) (140)
(Boston Globe) Cool Ballplayers with special needs take to field of their dreams. In other news the Chicago Cubs play tomorrow night at 7:05 PM  T-Shirt  (boston.com) (21)
(Yahoo) Obvious "The officiating last night was atrocious. It was unforgiveable. Ten power plays for the San Jose Sharks in their win, and four for the Wings. It was an embarrassment."  (sports.yahoo.com) (115)
(YouTube) Scary At 1:15, this race doesn't so much jump the shark, as the shark jumps the race  (youtube.com) (52)
(Kansas City) Fail How bad is the Royals bullpen? Zack Greinke is winless in six starts but has an ERA of 2.27  (kansascity.com) (61)
(Philly) Amusing Johan Santana pitches a two-hit complete game shutout. Just kidding, in three innings he gave up three home runs -- including a grand slam -- and walked a pitcher with the bases loaded  (philly.com) (70)
(Palm Beach Post) Fail If you're a girls HS flag football coach, and you're going to pull a slimeball trick, just pause and think for a minute "Hmm, it's a semifinal. What's the chances of somebody in the stands having a camera?"  (palmbeachpost.com) (45)

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