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Sun May 02, 2010
Sat May 01, 2010
Pirates' Garett Jones just can't swallow losing
Waitress in the front row learns the hard way that the AFL's "You can keep the ball, but you have to give the player back" slogan isn't just a slogan
Round two of the NBA playoffs featuring the overhyped and aging Celtics against the upstart, can't-seem-to-finish Cavaliers. Whoever wins, we all lose
Johnson and Gordon biatch-fight, AKA your Heath Calhoun 400 Richmond discussion thread
Lookin' at Lucky, Sidney's Candy, IceBox, Devil May Care, Noble's Promise. Who is your favorite? Who will underperform and who will shine on a muddy Churchill Downs track? Your 136th Kentucky Derby thread
Stay classy NY Daily News Mets sports' reporter. Stay classy
Today's Stanley Cup Playoff game thread: Phi@Bos at 12:30 ET (gee thanks, NBC) and Van@Chi at 8:00 ET
Just how much effort will Liverpool put into helping Manchester United's title challenge? It's the penultimate weekend of a crazy EPL season
Home runs aren't flying out of Yankee Stadium like they did last year
When the Detroit Lions don't want you, you know you've hit rock bottom. Or in Adam Jones' case, run into Clyde
Notre Dame reveals the most emasculating hype video of all time
60 year-old, 14 time-Funny Car champ John Force claims provisional top qualifier slot with his 307.23 mph pass. Oh, and he also survived polio as a child...Brett Favre's ankle just whimpered
Rookie phenom leads the league in hits at 36 after 99 at bats. No, not that one
A new stadium proposal would have the 49ers and Raiders sharing a new stadium in Santa Clara, meaning that Bay Area football fans can go to the same place every week to watch shiatty football
Fri April 30, 2010
Forget Ali/Frazier and Nadal/Federer. Johnny Weir and Evan Lysacek are now "at war"
Gold Shower, Black Servant, Degenerate Jon ... all of the worst horse names in Kentucky Derby history
Brett Favre needs surgery for the ankle the New Orleans Saints mangled in the NFC Championship Game...and only got this diagnosed at the beginning of minicamp, instead of three months ago when it happened
What has become of our society when major league ballparks start designating "peanut-free" seating for allergic fans?
If you bet that Jerod Turner would finish ahead of Tiger Woods at Quail Hollow...Well you have a serious gambling problem and really should seek help. But you're also about to be rich
Vacouver Canucks banned from eating deep dish pizza while in Chicago
Can Halak play giant-killer again? It's your Friday Stanley Cup thread, with Montreal/Pittsburgh Round Two, Game One
Dez Bryant wants to put the "was your mom a hooker" controversy behind him, even though he seems to be the only one still talking about it
NBA playoffs discussion thread: Thunder vs. Lakers, Nuggets vs. Jazz, and the Atlanta Hawks have already celebrated their win over the hapless Bucks...oh, wait
Santonio Holmes has learned his lesson and is using it as an opportunity to become a more mature adult. Just kidding, he got kicked off a plane for refusing to turn off his iPod
Phil Jackson may leave the Lakers to coach the Nets. Because why work with the most talented team in the league winning championships for $12 million a year and the owner's daughter when you could be in New Jersey?
TV show compares Duke to Nazis. Well that sucks
It's official: NCAA expands college basketball tournament, adds three more teams which will have as much chance of winning as an all-girls middle school team
losiNg teams cOuld geT to REceive biDs for bowl gAMEs
Dirk Novitzki to continue working toward several postseason records, including "most holes of golf played during the second round by a player on a 50-win team" and "most sharp objects kept away from Mark Cuban"
And the next team to follow Newcastle's lead is
Not News: Paper calls man world's worst tennis pro. News: Man sues paper. Fark: Judge agrees that man is world's worst tennis pro. Bad career move, dude
Responding to immigrant activist calls to "Boycott Arizona", Chicago Cubs boycott their game against the Diamondbacks after the 3rd Inning
In an attempt to play mindgames with the Vancouver Canucks, a Chicago reporter attempts to annoy the team with the Blackhawks goal song (w video)
Thu April 29, 2010
Braves lose eighth game in a row (and are losing currently). Looks like Bobby Cox plans to leave the Braves where he found them. In the cellar
Round two of the Stanley Cup playoffs begins tonight as San Jose hosts Detroit at 9PM EST
Spurs at home on the verge of sending Cuban and his Mavs packing, and Suns looking to close out the Trailblazers on the road. Your NBA playoffs thread is right here, gentlemen
Activists picket Arizona D-backs game. Since they were playing the Cubs the stadium was empty anyways
Raiders haven't released JaMarcus Russell yet, and speculation is it will only happen when owner Al Davis has extracted as much life-giving nutrients from the 300-pound QB as possible
Tiger can't find the hole at Quail Hollow. "I had a lot of issues out there trying to figure out where my balls were going to go"
(The New Editor)
27 years ago: Lee Elia and the best sports tirade ever
Lance Armstrong unapologetic about being paid beer endorser: "People think I'm like a vegan who wouldn't touch a beer. I drink beer all the time. I probably have at least a sip of alcohol every day"
Gay aims for Smith's 200m record. Not that there's anything wrong with that
Pro athlete stops and changes fan's flat tire after losing playoff elimination game. There's really only one sport it could be
In an effort to continue their quest for the 2006 Superbowl, Redskins sign Joey Galloway
Canadiens march into Washington and burn the Capitals. This is not a repeat from 1812
(Some Baseball Guy)
Not News: Rockies catcher Miguel Olivo develops a kidney stone. News: passes said stone during a game. Fark: and continues playing
Your hairy, calloused, fungus-riddled feet are better than any mass-marketed shoes peddled by an overpaid athlete
Torrent of trash appears in Citi Field during Mets sweep of Dodgers. There was also litter from hot dog wrappers, plastic bags, and so on
Not content with forcing them to play on virtually no rest because of an Eagles concert, San Jose is now fining the Detroit Red Wings for using their airport. What's next? Locking the doors to HP Pavilion?
Iowa State hires basketball coach who has no head coaching experience but was one of the team's most beloved players in the early '90s. What could possibly go wrong?
The End of an Era: The last Tecmo Super Bowl player to finally retire
Ovechkin gets Halaked in the corner, his stick must be broken again
In an effort to make the All-Star game more interesting, MLB decides to use the DH permanently from now on
Wed April 28, 2010
Hawks return home to take on the Bucks, and the Nuggets are back at home trying not to lose the series to...the Jazz? Really? It's your NBA playoffs discussion thread
It's Game 7 in DC. Can the Capitals pull it out? Or will Halak be a brick wall for the Canadiens? It's your Stanley Cup Play-off thread
(Some Lonely Gal)
Inappropriate jock endorsement of the day: Ben Roethlisberger for eHarmony (w. ad)
IOC strips underage Chinese gymnasts
Jerry Jones loves publicity: shows secret Cowboys draft board, bad plastic surgery
Top 10 athletes in movie history. Unlike most Top 10 lists, this one seems to go in reverse
An AL East team has won 12 of its last 14 games, on its way to the best start in the MLB this season. No, not that one. And definitely not that one
Best phantom punch since Clay hit Liston takes down soccer player who's apparently made of balsa wood (video)
News: Indians are champions. Fark: Of an algorithm-based survey to find the most despised teams in baseball. Suck it, Yankees
Don't look now, but the Mets are in first place
"5 points to spell victory for the Habs". Subby thinks it's more likely to be five letters. (tag is for Halak)
It's not Big Ben's fault he's a douche, it's all the concussions. Really. (Maybe)
Former Bears QB Mike Tomczak arrested after domestic dispute. "Tomczak reportedly lunged at his wife but did not hit her." Proving that he hasn't lost that knack for incompletions
Head of The St. Andrews Open says fans will be allowed to heckle Tiger Woods, and officials will do nothing to stop them. Well, at least one golf event will be worth watching
Tue April 27, 2010
Bob Uecker's upcoming heart surgery will keep him out of the broadcast booth for 10 to 12 weeks. If only he had some kind of professional help at home who could help him cut down that recovery time
Tuesday night NBA playoffs thread. Heat/Celts, Bulls/Cavs, Spurs/Mavs, Thunder/Lakers. Call your shot now
Will the Red Wings win their 1st road Game 7 in 44 years? Will the Coyotes win their 1st Game 7 ever? And will Shane Doan take the ice? This is your Red Wings-Coyotes Game 7 thread
Well, it's time to start examining the 2011 Draft
Ladies and Gentlemen.........Your King
Old and busted: giving up B*rry B*nds record-breaking 756th home run. The new hotness: getting suspended for tweeting "Congrats to all the dirty mexicans in San Antonio" after the Spurs go up 3-1 on the Mavs
Carlos Zambrano is already bored in the bullpen
Former Redskin on a new mission -- bringing Waffle House to D.C.
Don't talk s**t to Duncan Keith
Sports radio host compares Tim Tebow to a Nazi, which is ridiculous considering the Nazis had a devastating air attack
Why did potential first-round draft pick Aaron Hernandez fall all the way to the 4th round? It wasn't because of rumors of multiple failed drug tests, it was because he admitted to them at the combine
(National Football Post)
Former #1 overall draft pick JaMarcus Russell is finally putting up big numbers. Unfortunately, they're on a scale
Six inches from a goal and Kei Kamara completely misses the ball, falls on his ass and handballs it into the goal. The beautiful game
Boy, there's nothing like a warm day, a freshly cut field, the crack of the bat, and three players frantically signing "I got it"
Down 3-2 in the series, Montreal Canadiens employ the "let the other team shoot until they're tired out" strategy... and win
The Talladega race had a record-setting 88 lead changes, 29 different leaders, and was the 8th-closest finish in NASCAR Sprint Cup history. Everybody thought it was one of the greatest races ever... everybody except the drivers
There is a new Evil Empire in town and it consumes cheesesteaks
25 total runs, with the revived corpse of Jason Varitek knocking in four of them, and a pitcher getting a win after pitching only one out... but the weirdest part of this game was Papelbon going 1-2-3 in the ninth
Learning from England's mistake, the French soccer team doesn't sleep with each other's wives. They sleep with underage prositutes. There, that's okay, right?
Mon April 26, 2010
"This will be the last column I write about the Arizona Diamondbacks in the foreseeable future. For me, they do not exist"
Down a basket, team scores with .6 on the clock, they start celebrating on the court. Fark: opponents take uncontested 75 footer for the win
UFC fighter Tito Ortiz snaps losing streak, beats girlfriend Jenna Jameson
Magic set to clinch over the Bobcats, Bucks looking to get one at home against the Hawks, and Trailblazers vs. Suns in the Arizona desert. It's your Monday night NBA playoffs thread
The Habs, Preds, and Sabres all face elimination. Find out who forces a Game 7 in your Stanley Cup Playoffs discussion thread
(Some Media Guy)
Thanks to unexpectedly high ratings for early round NHL matchups, ESPN considers picking up hockey again for 2011
The Chicago Cubs now have an opportunity to lose two trophies every year for the next century
Unable to cope with Singletary's personal conduct demands, Blount heads to Tennessee
What has two thumbs insured for $15 million and likes Formula 1 racing?
Jacksonville Jaguars cut DT John Henderson. Let's watch and remember his insane pregame ritual
(Albany Times Union)
A reporter finally digs into a story and doesn't leave well-enough alone. Iraq? Afghanistan? No, high school football
World Cup organizers delighted with early ticket response. Of course, the Rugby WC organizers in New Zealand were interviewed; over in South Africa you'll find the FIFA WC organizers preparing their nooses
Sit behind the wheel for a record lap at the Nurburgring in a Ferrari 599XX. Hold on
Couple gets engaged at Citi Field; subby gives it until mid-September
If a spectator falls 14 feet during Cubs' batting practice at a Brewers game, is anyone going to be able to catch him?
How Swede it is: Daniel Sedin lifts 'Nucks into the second round
NFL coach on his newest plaything: "I go to YouTube and watch Jahvid Best highlight clips. That's what gets me aroused"
In another sign of the coming apocalypse, Chargers first round pick lists World of Warcraft as a hobby
Jeff Gordon is officially "pissed" at teammate Jimmie Johnson's shenanagins
Man Utd's Wayne Rooney wins PFA's Player of the Year honours, pulls something whilst collecting the award
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