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Sun May 17, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Yahoo) Amusing Apparently still unfamiliar with American League DH rules, Tampa Bay Rays coach and defending AL Manager of the Year Joe Maddon incorrectly fills out lineup card and has his pitcher batting third  (sports.yahoo.com) (83)
(STLToday) Cool NBA discussion thread. It's Thunderdome Night. Two teams enter, one team leaves. Twice  (stltoday.com) (818)
(Fox Sports) Cool Stewart-Haas won aa Naascaar raace  (msn.foxsports.com) (20)
(The New York Times) Amusing 30 years ago today, a warm day with the wind gusting in Chicago, Wrigley Field being Wrigley Field took it to the next level  (nytimes.com) (22)
(CNN) Interesting Federer beats Nadal. On clay. In Nadal's home country. Where is your sod now?  (edition.cnn.com) (29)
(BBC) Cool Good news: Wimbledon is to play its first match with a roof over the court. Better news: Now Cliff Richard won't be able to sing to the crowd when there's a storm  (news.bbc.co.uk) (5)
(Some Guy) Sad Michael Phelps, probably weighed down by his 14 Olympic gold medals, has to settle for second in the 100m backstroke  (universalsports.com) (31)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Super Bowl hero James Harrison will not join the Steelers when they visit the White House because "Obama would've invited Arizona if they had won"  (nbcsports.msnbc.com) (88)
(Washington Post) Obvious This year's Preakness banned BYOB in the infield, resulting in 30,000 fewer attendees, no topless chicks, and a distressing lack of idiots running across portajohns while being pelted by beercans  (washingtonpost.com) (29)
(ESPN) Interesting Red sOx sIt David ortiz, whoSe sudden decline is a total mystery  (sports.espn.go.com) (132)
(ESPN) Cool Knowing he will never play professional ball, college pitcher throws 21 scoreless innings in 26 hours to get his team into the NAIA World Series  (sports.espn.go.com) (27)

Sat May 16, 2009
(Sports by Brooks) Asinine When the Chicago sports media hits a slow patch, they just make up stories about infielders on steroids and a second NFL team coming to the city  (sportsbybrooks.com) (14)
(CNN) Cool Mr. Anti-Clutch Alex Rodriguez comes up in the bottom of the 11th at Yankee Stadium and promptly strikes out. What? He hit a game-winning two run homer? Okay then  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (44)
(Major League Baseball) Amusing Mitch Williams, it's time to pass on the "wild thing" mantle to the next generation  (mlb.mlb.com) (14)
(NASCAR) Scary NASCAR All-Star race discussion thread. 10 posts or less until the shaved back #3 picture is posted  (nascar.com) (123)
(Fox Sports) Spiffy Rachel Alexandra FTW, 85 years Way to go baby  (msn.foxsports.com) (56)
(ESPN) Interesting Because of a scoreless tie Manchester U wins the Premier League soccer title again. Who says soccer isn't exciting?  (soccernet.espn.go.com) (110)
(Sun Sentinel) Cool A slide show with 96 photos? Unless it's ridiculously gorgeous women in skimpy outfits running around tackling eachother, I'm not interested. Oh, that's exactly what it is? I'll be in my bunk. (Lingerie Football League Try-outs)  (sun-sentinel.com) (31)
(TwinCities.com) Followup Shoulder specialist says Brett Favre may need minor surgery, but will be back on the field throwing 24 picks before you know it  (twincities.com) (7)
(Yahoo) Interesting NFL salary cap rises $12 million over last year to cover Matthew Stafford's contract  (sports.yahoo.com) (38)
(Some Roughneck Fan) Spiffy Calgary Roughnecks defeat the New York Titans to take the 2009 National Lacrosse League Championship. At least a Canadian team won one of Canada's national sports this year  (calgarysun.com) (21)
(FanNation) Cool NHL Playoff MVP throwdown in progress. Hockey farkers, feel free to participate  (fannation.com) (54)
(Major League Baseball) Cool Brian Wilson collapses and falls apart. No, this is not a repeat from 1967  (newyork.mets.mlb.com) (15)
(BBC) Cool It's the penultimate round of games in the EPL, and teams are starting to get what they deserve  (news.bbc.co.uk) (108)
(Norwich Bulletin) Obvious Man singlehandedly pulls two buses filled with screaming school children out of the path of a speeding train. *Parts of this headline may have been exaggerated  (norwichbulletin.com) (43)
(New York Daily News) Sappy Brett Garner tells a sick kid in a hospital that he'll hit a home run for him, even though he only has 1 career HR and isn't even starting. Of course since this is Fark, he hits the new stadium's first inside the park HR  (nydailynews.com) (52)
(RedOrbit) Silly Moran arrested for sliding on Wrigley Field tarp during rain delay  (redorbit.com) (68)

Fri May 15, 2009
(Some Guy) Stupid How much trouble is the NBA in? Indiana Pacers could be moved to Vancouver pending a June 8 NBA board meeting  (forum.skyscraperpage.com) (48)
(YouTube) Fail Charles Barkley shows off his perfect swing, hits a beautiful tee shot right into a bystander's neck  (bareknucks.com) (21)
(USA Today) Dumbass Everybody that wasn't popped for DUI in Virginia Beach, VA, early Friday, take a step forward. Not so fast, former Buffalo Bill and Washington Redskin Bruce Smith  (usatoday.com) (13)
(Time) Dumbass NHL Commissioner Bettman on why people should watch hockey: "The players all grow playoff beards"  (time.com) (79)
(TC Palm) Florida Buffalo Bills player Corey McIntyre arrested for allegedly masturbating outside a Florida woman's house  (tcpalm.com) (27)
(mlb blogs) Interesting Think catching a player's first career home run would be cool? Think again...one fan's bizarre story  (thehappyyoungster.mlblogs.com) (132)
(Yahoo) Interesting Federal appeals court sides with Washington Redskins, says Native American group waited too long before complaining the logo is racially offensive  (sports.yahoo.com) (132)
(Yahoo) Amusing Shaq admits to taking performance-enhancing cereals  (sports.yahoo.com) (25)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Memphis Grizzlies forward Darius Miles obviously learned nothing from his suspension last season for violating NBA's anti-drug program  (sports.yahoo.com) (8)
(Yahoo) Amusing "Here comes Lance Armstrong and some of his teammates from the ██████ team..."  (sports.yahoo.com) (22)
(Record Online) Fail Yankees' auction of old Stadium items won't have anything cool, mostly freeze-dried dirt and maybe a torn-out page from the 1989 media guide featuring the correct pronunciation of "Mmahat"  (recordonline.com) (21)
(ESPN) Sad Wayman Tisdale, three-time college basketball All-American, who went on to play 12 years in the NBA before retiring to pursue a career as jazz musician, dead at 44  (sports.espn.go.com) (40)
(ESPN) Interesting Brett Favre visits renowned surgeon Dr. James Andrews regarding his partially torn biceps tendon because it's really, really important that he doesn't have arm pain when driving his tractor on his farm  T-Shirt  (sports.espn.go.com) (32)
(Yahoo) Followup NASCAR allows Jeremy Mayfield to drive because he did not test positive for performance-enhancing drugs... which should have been obvious to anybody who has seen him race the past few years  T-Shirt  (sports.yahoo.com) (9)
(News.com.au) Sick Soccer player charged with having sexual relations with a 13-year old girl. Claims he should have carded her but instead took a dive into her penalty box  (news.com.au) (91)
(Kansas City) Obvious Royals lose six straight. Earth returns to its axis, will not fall into sun, world crisis averted  (kansascity.com) (26)
(The Sun) Obvious "The winker has apologised for being a snatcher after being branded a plonker"  (thesun.co.uk) (13)
(Yahoo) Silly Our long national nightmare is over. NFL to allow Chad to put "Ochocinco" on his jersey  (sports.yahoo.com) (52)
(Yahoo) Asinine As the gap between the haves and have-nots in college football gets bigger and bigger, a disturbing sign: Small school forfeits conference game so it can get a big payday playing at Michigan  (rivals.yahoo.com) (68)

Thu May 14, 2009
(USA Today) Sad No more boys named Sioux  (blogs.usatoday.com) (46)
(NYPost) Sad Former Yankee catcher Jim Leyritz has been hospitalized after striking out while attempting a suicide squeeze  (nypost.com) (22)
(AZCentral) Dumbass Anquan Boldin wants out of Arizona so badly, his agent Drew Rosenhaus offered a contract proposal to the Cardinals and Twittered about it  (azcentral.com) (14)
(Yahoo) Cool Elimination night in the NHL as the remaining Eastern and Western conference finalists are determined. DET vs. ANA @ 7PM EST - BOS vs. CAR @ 8PM  (sports.yahoo.com) (1014)
(Yahoo) Hero Holy crap, women's golf is suddenly awesome  (sports.yahoo.com) (64)
(ESPN) Dumbass Pete Rose says Alex Rodriguez should be in the baseball Hall of Fame. Because Pete Rose has any authority to speak on who should be in the Hall of Fame  (sports.espn.go.com) (236)
(The Sporting Blog) Cool This is why the Caps got whipped by the Penguins: They didn't have this knucklepuck jersey on their side  (sportingnews.com) (63)
(Some Guy) Obvious New York City has become a cesspool of underachieving professional sports teams  (bareknucks.com) (68)
(ESPN) Sad Most drugged-up son of Eagles coach Andy Reid is back in jail  (sports.espn.go.com) (16)
(ESPN) Sad Zim's 30 game hit streak comes to a Giant end. Nat's fans may begin preparing for disappointing redskins season  (sports.espn.go.com) (13)
(The Sporting Blog) Sad Pacquiao-Hatton PPV numbers might not pack the punch that was expected. So much for a boxing revival  (sportingnews.com) (42)
(The Sporting Blog) Interesting Not that anyone really attacked him for it, but Barry Zito defends the decision to intentionally walk Ryan Zimmerman, who had his 30-game hitting streak snapped  (sportingnews.com) (27)
(WLBZ2.com) Obvious Man accused of possessing foul balls not allowed to attend and Red Sox games  (wlbz2.com) (39)
(AZCentral) Spiffy Kurt Warner meets Obama and asks how he can pray for the president. "It was cool."  (azcentral.com) (107)
(NBA) Obvious Nuggets smoke a Cuban  (nba.com) (43)
(Some Guy) Fail Jockey disqualified for talking another jockey into carrying around a condom full of his urine in her armpit. Is that so wrong?  (themorningbulletin.com.au) (18)
(SMH) Interesting Australian rugby team had a scrum with a 19 year old woman. In other news, Minnesota Vikings call their travel agent to book a boating trip down under  (blogs.smh.com.au) (32)
(Major League Baseball) Interesting MLB first: Adam LaRoche homerun overruled by instant replay  (pittsburgh.pirates.mlb.com) (23)
(ESPN) Obvious Apparently, no one wants to put their name on a stadium of a team that hasn't won a playoff game since the Clinton administration  (sports.espn.go.com) (85)

Wed May 13, 2009
(Forbes) Dumbass Forbes editor places blame for Coyotes debacle and pretty much everything wrong with hockey in general on Wayne Gretzky  (blogs.forbes.com) (69)
(NHL) Cool It's Crosby vs. Ovechkin. It's a Game 7. What other witty thing do you need here to make you watch it? PITT vs WASH @ 7PM  (nhl.com) (709)
(1010WINS) Obvious Streaker charged with interrupting a professional sporting event. Defense lawyer asks for charge to be dropped because it was a Mets game  T-Shirt  (1010wins.com) (30)
(ESPN) Cool Seven reasons America should pay attention to the Washington-Pittsburgh game 7 matchup, if they can actually get it on TV  (sports.espn.go.com) (72)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Unlikely Reality show looking to document Bengals' training camp. It's not "Cops", either  (news.cincinnati.com) (24)
(MSNBC) Hero Bron-Bron, D-Wade, The Black Mamba, D-Nitz, and Superman named to All-NBA team  (nbcsports.msnbc.com) (83)
(Fox Sports) Cool The Miami Dolphins DE who was with the Dolphins, then left in an acrimonious breakup and joined the Redskins, and did "Dancing With The Stars", is once again a Dolphin  (msn.foxsports.com) (38)
(Crain's) Cool The Red Wings' game 5 victory was the highest rated program ever for Fox Sports Detroit, beating out those re-runs of poker, curling and speed knitting  (crainsdetroit.com) (35)
(USA Today) Interesting NCAA sends out memo to draft-eligible players, detailing its rules regarding hiring an agent or adviser before the June major league draft... and the NCAA is now in contempt of court  (usatoday.com) (15)
(Yahoo) Interesting USC basketball coach accused of paying O.J. Mayo associate $1000 back in 2007 as a recruiting incentive  (rivals.yahoo.com) (48)
(NYPost) Followup The mystery of the missing sod from the old Yankee Stadium has been solved: The Yanks are selling it, encased in a crystal paperweight, for $80 a piece -- extra if you want the pieces with Ruth's beer and hot dog stains  (nypost.com) (23)
(ESPN) Dumbass Luke McCown named Buccaneers' starting quarterback by Luke McCown  (sports.espn.go.com) (18)
(ESPN) Cool Washington Nationals' Ryan Zimmerman extended his hitting streak to 30 games today, proving that the team doesn't consist entirely of suck, Just mostly  (sports.espn.go.com) (50)
(NHL) Spiffy Ducks force Game 7, and possible Disney sequel  (nhl.com) (103)
(Major League Baseball) Cool Jayson Werth pulls a Willie Mays Hayes by stealing second, third, and home in the seventh inning against the Dodgers  (mlb.mlb.com) (60)
(CNN) Cool A little home cookin' and a 40-point ass whuppin' as the Lakers breeze to a 118-78 victory and go up 3-2 on the Rockets  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (14)
(ESPN) Strange The Celtics pull off another comeback after being down in the 4th by double digits. Why is this news? The guy with the huge 4th quarter contribution for the C's was Stephon Marbury  (espn.go.com) (62)
(OSG Sports) Obvious Wrestler Chris Benoit's doctor gets 10 years in prison on 175-count federal indictment for illegally prescribing painkillers. Wrestlers now must look elsewhere for refills  (onlinesportsguys.blogspot.com) (25)
(Some Guy) Stupid Scottish golfer Paul Lawrie jokingly complains about his club's golf course. Do they A) fix it up B) tell him to STFU or C) kick him out because he hurt the groundskeeper's feelings? Carl Spackler would be proud  (thescottishsun.co.uk) (16)
(TSN) Stupid One game in London not enough to alienate fanbases in the NFL? Don't worry Roger Goodell has a plan for that  (tsn.ca) (47)

Tue May 12, 2009
(NHL) Cool Will it be double elimination Tuesday or will we have some Game 7s forced? Either way, it's hockey time, ya puckers BOS vs. CAR @ 7PM, DET vs. ANA @ 10PM EST  (nhl.com) (1063)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing Not to be outdone by Mark Cuban & Kenyon Martin's mom, Carmelo Anthony's fiancee gets ejected after fighting with Mavs fan  (sportsbybrooks.com) (50)
(ESPN) Followup Bobby Jenks fined a whopping 75,000 pennies for his purpose pitch at Ian Kinsler the other night. How will he sleep tonight? HOW?  (espn.go.com) (53)
(Yahoo) Interesting Randy Johnson and Daniel Cabrera combine to form tallest, ugliest starting pitching matchup in MLB history. Unit  (sports.yahoo.com) (14)
(CNN) Obvious Not satisfied with merely being a director of a failing car company, the Lions' William Clay Ford is named the 2nd worst owner in the NFL  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (81)
(Denver Post) Obvious Denver Nuggets VP of personnel Rex Chapman compares the angry, violent, redneck, cousin-farkers of Dallas to a crowd he saw in Serbia  (blogs.denverpost.com) (44)
(ESPN) Asinine Formula 1: We are introducing a budget cap so that you can't just buy the best car every race. Ferrari: Let us buy the best car every race or we're pulling out entirely  (sports.espn.go.com) (60)
(MSNBC) Sad Former Dallas Cowboy QB Quincy Carter nabbed on DUI, probation violation charges  (nbcsports.msnbc.com) (14)
(ESPN) Amusing Tony Romo apparently doesn't only choke in football but golf, too, as he fails to qualify for the US open by shooting a 44 on the back nine after going for par on the front 9  (sports.espn.go.com) (76)
(Yahoo) Silly Akon is to record the official anthem for next year's soccer World Cup. No word on a title but "Diving Vagina" is a possibility  (uk.news.yahoo.com) (16)
(ESPN) Stupid Dad wants apology from Celtics player for touching his snowflake after hitting game winning shot  (sports.espn.go.com) (106)
(Google) Dumbass Roger Clemens decides he has been out of the news too long  (google.com) (17)
(WBBM) Spiffy NBA player Chris Bosh has to sue to get ownership of www.chrisbosh.com. Up until now he had been suing the domain www.stuckwiththeraptors.com  (wbbm780.com) (11)
(FanNation) Sad The Boston Roid Sox hired doctors to teach the players how to juice. No, seriously  (fannation.com) (116)
(NHL) Followup Aaron Ward's glass jaw will cost Scott Walker $2,500 to fix  (nhl.com) (117)
(NASCAR) Cool He's 81 and he wants two things: to race again in NASCAR and for you to kindly get off his lawn  (nascar.com) (31)
(Boston Globe) Sad One day, you're a promising Red Sox catcher, the next....you're hit in the head with a bat and now catch rubber balls with your face  (boston.com) (63)
(Yahoo) Cool Chicago Blackhawks heading to the Western Conference Finals for the 1st time since 1995 with 7-5 win over the Canucks  (sports.yahoo.com) (142)
(News.com.au) Stupid Basketball is so popular in Australia the national league hasn't bothered with teams in Sydney, Melbourne or Brisbane  (news.com.au) (20)
(Major League Baseball) Sad For the second time this year, Mets pitcher Johan Santana gives up no earned runs and loses the game  (newyork.mets.mlb.com) (41)
(AP) Asinine Vikings team president says he's still interested in Favre  (hosted.ap.org) (53)

Mon May 11, 2009
(Sports by Brooks) Obvious Mike Singletary's wife, who is white, thought when she first met him, "I'd sure like to meet someone like him who is white"  (sportsbybrooks.com) (45)
(Major League Baseball) Obvious Chad Fox placed on disabled list, perhaps signalling the end of his career. Future Fark headline: Chad Fox injures arm after 7th chance from the Cubs, perhaps signalling the end of his career  (mlb.mlb.com) (12)
(Deadspin) Cool Chicago White Sox pitcher Bobby Jenks doesn't play that "oh, I didn't mean to throw at that guy, the ball slipped" bullshiat  (deadspin.com) (56)
(NHL) Cool Two elimination games, 1 night. Will the Caps decide to show up? Do the Canucks think golf is for wussies? WASH vs. PITT @ 7PM, VAN vs. CHI @ 9PM  (nhl.com) (870)
(Denver Post) Asinine Dallas Maverick's owner Mark Cuban blows off some steam after his team's latest FAIL by trash talking Kenyon Martin. Well, Kenyon's mother actually  (denverpost.com) (73)
(Newsday) Amusing Mets find a pitcher worse then Oliver Perez, Aaron Heilman or Anthony Young. Fa fa flunky  (weblogs.newsday.com) (17)
(ESPN) Amusing What does $20M/year buy you these days? If you're the Yankees it gets you a .198 hitter who strike outs every 4 at bats  (sports.espn.go.com) (103)
(CBS 4 Denver) Cool It sounds insane, but extreme downhill skateboarding is actually pretty cool  (cbs4denver.com) (22)
(Some Guy) Interesting Rare photo shows how the heights of the commissioners of the four main US sports leagues corresponds with their U.S. popularity  (sportsbusinessjournal.com) (117)
(USA Today) Followup NASCAR's drug tester disputes Jeremy Mayfield's claim that allergy medications caused positive test, especially since the only banned substances are steroids, amphetamines and recreational drugs  (usatoday.com) (61)
(CNN) Interesting Here it is, your pre-preseason NFL team rankings. Sorry Cleveland, but at least you got the Cavs  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (184)
(Boston Globe) Spiffy Ducks suffer the wrath of The Franzen  (boston.com) (55)
(CNN) Obvious Dinosaur Norman Chad weighs in on the NBA's officiating bias, claims this shiat has been going on for four decades  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (21)
(Major League Baseball) Cool Torii Hunter isn't ready to concede the "home run rob of the year" title to Curtis Granderson quite yet  (mlb.mlb.com) (33)
(Major League Baseball) Spiffy Just like his old Nike commercial, when you tell Ken Griffey Jr to "Hit it here", he does. (LGT Video)  (seattle.mariners.mlb.com) (34)
(CNN) Interesting Pacman likely to run for Congress next year. Inky, Pinky, Blinky, and Clyde last seen forming an exploratory committee  (inthefield.blogs.cnn.com) (14)
(Yahoo) Cool The best amateur pitcher in the world pitches his last home start for San Diego State with a 17K no-hitter  (sports.yahoo.com) (39)
(ESPN) Interesting Latest complication with the NHL salary structure comes from Russia, where they plan to hold young Russian hockey stars 'hostage' until they are 27  (sports.espn.go.com) (14)
(NYPost) Amusing Michael Phelps scores gold, persistent itch in the two-stripper medley  (nypost.com) (203)
(CNN) Sad Celtics take baby steps to even up the series  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (45)
(Houston Chronicle) Followup Without Yao, the Rockets were no match for Kobe's crew. Ha, just kidding. The Lakers got their purple and gold asses kicked  (chron.com) (38)
(The Atlantic) Weird In 1926 a KKK chapter fielded a baseball team. Then it gets weird  (jeffreygoldberg.theatlantic.com) (110)

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