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Sun April 26, 2009
(ESPN) Hero Congrats to Terrance Taylor, first Michigan player drafted in 2009 (#136, 4th round). RichRod breathes a sigh of relief (53)
(ESPN) Scary Eight fans injured after Carl Edwards car backflips into the Talladega fence on a last lap pass (111)
(Yahoo) Cool Bulls win double-OT slobberknocker to tie series with Celtics at two apiece (67)
(Florida Today) Interesting University of Miami's 14-year streak of having one player drafted in the first round has ended. Streak of having at least one player currently under indictment continues (11)
(NASCAR) Cool Get ready for "The Big One". NASCAR Aaron's 499 from Talladega discussion (528)
(Denver Post) Silly Ugliest team uniform EVER makes a comeback this year as original AFL teams go retro (51)
(Yahoo) Cool Sunday's NHL Playoffs involve two Game 6's -- Rangers could close out at home against the Capitals (2pm Eastern, NBC), and the Devils try to finish off the Hurricanes in Carolina (7:30pm) (614)
(Sherdog) Followup Opponent stays step ahead of congenital amputee Kyle Maynard in MMA match. Have to hand it to him for effort (64)
(ESPN) Spiffy Hines Ward, the toughest receiver in the NFL, will end his career where he started (66)
(CNN) Silly Think there's nothing to do in Ohio? 95,722 fans show up to see Ohio State play spring football game (88)
(Yahoo) Fail Philadelphia Flyers blow 3-0 lead, lose 5-3 to the Pittsburgh Penguins and are eliminated from the playoffs. Ahh, there's the Philly sports we all know and love (69)
(CBSsports.com) Misc Wang to be out for weeks. In some places you could be arrested for that (9)
(YouTube) Scary Matt Kenseth goes for the obligatory multiple barrel roll, catch on fire crash at Talladega today. Ta Da (33)
(ESPN) Cool You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never leave the game when the Red Sox are down to the Yankees (107)

Sat April 25, 2009
(ESPN) Cool Is it me, or is it a little drafty in here? The guessing games are over, here's your 2009 NFL Draft Day 1 discussion thread (4pm Eastern, ESPN) (888)
(Yahoo) Cool Your Saturday NHL Playoffs discussion thread: Pit @ Phi (3pm Eastern), Cal @ Chi (9pm), Ana @ SJ (10pm) (579)
(Yahoo) Cool Rather than an NBA Playoff discussion thread, we'll just give you the winners of today's basketball games now: Hornets, Spurs, Hawks and Lakers (65)
(BBC) Cool In the EPL today, Manchester United play Spurs, there's a London derby between West Ham and Chelsea, while Liverpool go to Hull and back (63)
(Yahoo) Obvious Mariano Rivera blows another save against the Red Sox. This is not a repeat from 2008, from 2007, from 2006 (171)
(Wall Street Journal) Silly Brandi Chastain's sports bra from the 1999 World Cup Final is in legal limbo. Won't someone think of the mosquito bite boobies? (44)
(Some Hooligan) Scary Farking brutal: Real Madrid's Pepe takes out Getafe's captain with a push, followed by a kick and a sprigging for good measure - then tries to console him, then punches another Getafe player for good measure (35)
(ESPN) Spiffy Kansas City Royal Zach Greinke's record is now 4-0 with a 0.0 ERA after throwing a complete game and beating the Tigers 6-1. The Tiger's one run was unearned (23)
(Detroit News) Asinine Finally listening to their fans, Detroit Lions to select immediate impact player Aaron Curry. Just kidding, they come to terms with Stafford making him the highest paid QB to have never taken snap as a professional (91)
(ESPN) Obvious Remember that hot start the Florida Marlins got off to with an 11-1 record? Well, not so much as they lose their fourth straight game (19)
(ESPN) Obvious MLS to Yankees: "HA HA You have empty seats" Yankees to MLS: "HA HA Soccer sucks. Now STFU" (61)

Fri April 24, 2009
(Sports by Brooks) Interesting Minor league team tries out 3' 2" batter. Talk about playing small ball (52)
(ESPN) Sad Arizona Cardinals reduce asking price for wide receiver Anquan Boldin to a second-round pick and some unexpired Baja Fresh coupons (120)
(CNN) Obvious Pistons' fans look at the Nuggets and, once again, curse Joe Dumars for the 2003 NBA draft (22)
(Sports by Brooks) Asinine ESPN's lead reporter on Rick Pitino extortion case co-authored a self-help book with the coach. Sure we'll get objective reporting out of that (14)
(ESPN) Sappy No arms, no legs, no problem for Kyle Maynard, who makes his MMA debut this weekend (70)
(BBC) Interesting Wembley Stadium to resod entire field for upcoming FA Trophy and FA Cup finals after repeated complaints from players that it was uncomfortable to dive on (20)
(Chicago Tribune) Fail After loss, the Cubs' Milton Bradley breaks silence, and probably a bone or two (29)
(BBC) Unlikely ...and next year the Superbowl will be held in...London (55)
(Major League Baseball) Sappy MLB players get their wish - Pink bats coming soon (w/ fabulous pic) (28)
(The Sporting Blog) Interesting The Madden curse is ready to claim two players' seasons as Larry Fitzgerald and Troy Polamalu will officially share the cover (33)
(Yahoo) Strange Previously on "All My Celtics", Kevin and Leon were lost and Danny had a heart attack. Today we learn that Tony has been receiving death threats for months, while Rajon has a mysterious foot injury  T-Shirt (29)
(Yahoo) Spiffy 12-year-old girl throws perfect game... by retiring 18 consecutive boys. You WISH you threw like a girl (44)
(ESPN) Spiffy Playing on a bloody ankle, Martin Brodeur earns 23rd playoff shutout, ties Patrick Roy's record (44)
(AZCentral) Strange D-Backs' Eric Byrnes (along with Dustin Pedroia, Manny Ramirez, and Ryan Howard) latest to use hi-tech mouthguard when batting, because it helps his hamstring and overall balance. Wait...what? (17)
(New York Daily News) Interesting Wang gets smacked around by minors even though his balls are sinking and sliding they way they are supposed to (34)
(NFL.com) Asinine QB Jason Campbell says he's all for the Redskins drafting a QB like Mark Sanchez this weekend. Ha ha, no... he says he will ask for a trade if they do that (74)
(Free Press) Asinine Octopus throwin' Red Wings fan dressed down by Gary Bettman; "I'm not happy about this one bit". It's a 57-year old tradition Gary, you'll get over it (73)
(FanNation) Sad The Cleveland Indians might unload their best pitcher if they fall out of contention. This is not a repeat from 2008 (18)
(Washington Times) Interesting The Jets have now expressed interest in drafting every college QB in the draft, trading for any QB available, or even not going with a QB this season, all to apparently avoid putting Kellen Clemens on the field (12)
(TSN) Obvious NHL confirms it has no plans to put a pro hockey team in Toronto (38)
(YouTube) Video Russian footballer Arshavin is better than Ronaldo and scores 4 goals in EPL competition. (Check out the jets at 4:40) (38)
(Washington Post) Silly Greensboro Grasshoppers make baseball history for the first dog ever ejected from the game. Dog now listed as day-to-day on the team's injury report (11)
(ESPN) Florida FSU tells the NCAA it's unfair to punish the football team for cheating infractions because it will mess up Bobby Bowden's win record (52)

Thu April 23, 2009
(JSOnline) Obvious Coach learns that, even with a 27-3 record, you still can't be an asshat in Division III football (23)
(USA Today) Silly After finally obtaining a decent QB, Kansas City Chiefs decide to trade the only talented, sane player they've had this decade (80)
(ESPN) Fail Today's "They did WHAT????" story brought to you by the Carolina Panthers signing QB Jake Delhomme to a 5-yr, $42.5M deal, with $20M guaranteed (66)
(ESPN) Dumbass Cubs' Milton Bradley sidelined with groin injury, and by "groin injury", we mean "manager Lou Piniella is tired of him dogging it and going full knucklehead in games" (28)
(ESPN) Asinine Dumb: Getting drafted by major league baseball 5 times and never signing Dumber: One of those offers was for 4.9 million Fark: Making 11.50 an hour now at Costco (49)
(ESPN) Obvious Will Brodeur keep a level head? Will the Wings sweep? Lace up your skates, because this is your NHL playoff thread. Flyers/Pens at 7pm EST, Wings/Jackets at 7pm EST, Canes/Devils at 7:30pm EST, and Sharks/Ducks at 10:30pm EST (922)
(Major League Baseball) Interesting It appears that major league baseball players get hurt sometimes. When this happens, they can go on this thing called the "disabled list" (40)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing Lindsay Soto tries to cover up her cleavage during in-game interview (with video goodness) (41)
(Major League Baseball) Fail Is it really that hard to bring a spare jersey without a name on the back? (22)
(Forbes) Interesting Forbes releases their list of the overall values of Major League Baseball teams, which teaches us that spending with reckless abandon gets you #1 while losing since before the Titanic sunk gets you #5 (28)
(Kansas City) Strange Cliff Lee, last year's Cy Young Award winner, has already lost as many games this year as he did all of last year (50)
(BuffaloBills.com) Stupid GMs for the Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers have obviously not seen any game-day footage of the Buffalo Bills the last few years (31)
(Boston Globe) Spiffy Bruins win their first playoff series in ten years. That's one NBA title, two World Series Championships, and three Super Bowl trophies ago (99)
(Free Press) Stupid Brewers seek to wrestle title of "most incompetent sports franchise" from the Lions by trading a minor league outfielder to the Tigers. "It didn't appear that any cash or other players were involved in the transaction." (40)
(Wisconsin State Journal) Cool For Muggles only, Quidditch now playing on UW-Madison campus (22)
(Yahoo) Spiffy In two games, Chauncey Billups has scored 67 points, made 12-of-15 threes, gone 19-for-19 at the line, made no turnovers, and led Denver to only their third 2-0 playoff lead in team's 33-year history (33)
(NBA) Cool All hail "Superbadge"; Steve Nash's Spike Jonze-inspired short film depicting Shaq (as "Thaddeus Thundercastle") and Alondo Tucker (as "Billy Ray Badger") nab a graffiti gang...played by other Phoenix Suns (21)
(USA Today) Amusing Lacking stars and depth, women's MMA still struggling. "If we want to be treated and respected equally, then you can't have excuses like, 'Oh, I had a woman problem.'" (27)
(Pro Football Talk.com) Dumbass Worst executive in NFL history screws over NBC to get better deal from ESPN (29)
(ESPN) Interesting The new Yankee stadium blows balls (111)
(USA Today) Spiffy Chicago Bulls guard Derrick Rose now has something in common with Michael Jordan and Elton Brand (23)
(YouTube) Amusing Hawk refuses to return to trainer, delays NBA Playoff game between Hawks and Heat (12)
(CNN) Interesting A much more in-depth breakdown of ball-strike counts than you could've imagined. "I spent way, way too much time on this" (24)
(WNBC) Dumbass A recession is on and thousands of seats at Yankee Stadium are empty because they cost too much. Do you A) lower ticket prices, B) keep ticket prices the same, or C) raise ticket prices? (39)
(ESPN) Spiffy Basketball Star to skip senior year to go pro. Not that senior year...the other one (39)
(TMZ) Dumbass Former Jacksonville Jaguar WR Jimmy Smith busted on multiple cocaine and marijuana possession charges (20)

Wed April 22, 2009
(Some Guy) PSA Michael Phelps is doing the breast stroke on Miss California (538)
(FanNation) Fail Saban blames fans for Utah beating the stupid out of Alabama in the Sugar Bowl, despite Alabama's higher player payroll (33)
(Yahoo) Amusing Bo knows debt securities (11)
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) Interesting What if there were no NFL draft? There would be chaos. But the good part would be seeing Mel Kiper Jr. flipping burgers (48)
(Denver Post) Sad The iconic blonde stallion with the proud, blonde mane and huge, oversized teeth, who symbolized Denver Bronco football for years, has died. No, not that one, the other one. Yeah. That one (30)
(Yahoo) Sappy Colleges wanted to convert Patrick White from QB to WR. Instead, he went to West Virginia and became the first QB to start and win four bowl games. After all that, he still has to convince NFL scouts that he can play QB (68)
(ESPN) Obvious Surprising absolutely nobody, Rocco Baldelli can't make it to May without going on the DL (19)
(ESPN) Interesting The Cavs bench nearly gives Detroit a bailout, letting them cut a 29 point lead to 7 in the fourth quarter before LeBron and his cabinet return to the game to restructure the plan  T-Shirt (23)
(Yahoo) Sad Just like Joe Theismann, Dikembe Mutombo's career carted away on a stretcher (63)
(Chicago Tribune) Weird Old and Busted: Cubs' curse of the black cat. New Hotness: Cubs' curse of the calico cat. With bonus pic of newest PETA target (49)
(USA Today) Obvious NFL commissioner Roger Goodell says he won't reinstate Michael Vick until he shows genuine remorse, puppy dog eyes (45)
(The Sporting Blog) Interesting Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski goes on The Colbert Report to discuss exactly how Duke sucks as much as they do on a consistent basis (15)
(ESPN) Followup After all the hoopla about failed drug tests at the NFL combine, the only high-profile names are a potential 1st-round WR and a possible 2nd-4th round WR (16)
(YouTube) Audio "The Philadelphia Eagles select, with the first pick, Ben Franklin" (15)
(USA Today) Strange Wake Forest LB Aaron Curry tells Detroit Lions he will take a below-market deal if they pick him #1 overall (88)
(ESPN) Sad William "The Refrigerator" Perry hospitalized in serious condition. Sgt. Slaughter and the rest of the Joes hold a candlelight vigil (41)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Rich Rodriguez is a better coach than Jim Tressel and JoePa (82)
(NHL) Spiffy Goal against Martin Brodeur with 0.2 seconds left in 3rd period lifts Carolina to series tie (235)

Tue April 21, 2009
(ESPN) Obvious Detroit Lions will trade the #1 overall pick in Sunday's draft. NFL TV analyst Matt Millen suggests they trade for multiple picks and take Michael Crabtree, Jeremy Maclin, Percy Harvin, Hakeem Nicks, Elroy Hirsch, and the ghost of Jim Thorpe (41)
(MSNBC) Obvious 2009 San Jose Sharks = 2000 St. Louis Blues (34)
(The Atlantic) Amusing While the Yankees struggle to perform on the field, their fans struggle to perform off it (20)
(ESPN) Spiffy The wussification of NASCAR continues: Hybrid Camry to pace the field of the upcoming Coca Cola 600 (29)
(Yahoo) Obvious "What do you want to be remembered as, the great dunker who won the slam dunk contest with a Superman outfit on, or do you want to do something better than that?" (10)
(ESPN) Cool Yankees outfielder Xavier Nady won't need season-ending surgery on his elbow after all, will return to active-but-underperforming status sometime before All-Star Game (8)
(NJ.com) Interesting NY Giants 1959 1st round draft laments how much simplier the draft was in his day; no mock drafts, no instant C grades from the media and you had to check the sports section in the paper the next morning to confirm you really were drafted (11)
(MSNBC) Cool After Doc Gooden defaced -- err, autographed a wall at Mets' brand new Citi Field, Mets decide to preserve the wall and what's more, get similar graffiti -- err, autographs from other Mets players (11)
(FanNation) Dumbass Mavs rocket surgeon Erick Dampier predicts he'll be ejected and will sit Game Four, too (8)
(NHL) Cool Busy night in the Stanley Cup Playoffs: Pit @ Phi 7pm, Det @ Clb 7pm, NJ @ Car 7:30pm, Van @ StL 8:00pm, SJ @ Ana 10:30pm (829)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Study finds that more expensive running shoes are more than twice as likely to cause injury. Time to get some mocassins (17)
(Access Hollywood) Spiffy ABC revives "The Superstars" athletic competition by mining heavily in the 1990s D list. David Charvet? Dan Cortese? Jennifer Capriati? (31)
(YouTube) Asinine Sean Avery back up to his old antics, punches goalie in face (44)
(Yahoo) Sad Boston Celtics lose another player for the remainder of their ever-shortening playoffs (24)
(Deadspin) Followup Because most big leaguers can't afford $500, The Great Falls Little League has stepped up and will pay Elijah Dukes' tardiness fine (18)
(Some Guy) Scary Mad that your hockey team's losing? Then beat up the ref, of course (w/ video) (38)
(Free Press) Ironic Detroit Lions President Tom Lewand: New logo proclaims "we're tough", forgets to add "to take seriously" (51)
(Some Guy) Scary Recession hitting Kentucky Derby as increasing number of spectators will wear stupid-looking old hats instead of buying ludicruous-looking new hats for race (17)
(Boston Globe) Cool Boston Trifecta--Sox, Bruins, Celtics all win. On the same day. And there was that little footrace. Meanwhile, Patriots ask "hey, can we play, too?" (83)
(Yahoo) Interesting Dominating goaltender? Check. Unretiring? Check. Playing for former club in his country's top league? Czech  T-Shirt (31)
(Jacksonville.com) Interesting WR Torry Holt signs 3-year deal with Jacksonville Jaguars worth up to $20M, replacing free agent bust Jerry Porter who made $1M per *catch* last season (27)
(Washington Post) Amusing Parents who berated ref at youth soccer game banished to a hill 100 yards from the field (54)
(Pro Football Talk.com) Strange As the Washington Redskins prepare for year 2 under head coach Jim Zorn, they are already preparing for year 1 under Mike Shanahan (31)
(YouTube) Scary Big guy grabs little guy and throws him against the steel. No, it's not a wrestling cage match, it's a sprint finish in cycling's Tour of Turkey (35)
(SUNY Cortland) Dumbass Jets move training camp to SUNY Cortland, and at their current rate of late-season collapse will be training in Newfoundland by 2012 (33)
(CNN) Fail With the draft just days away, LSU prospect Demetrius Byrd lands himself in the ICU after a single car accident (22)
(Google) Followup Back to back to back to back no-hitters (56)

Mon April 20, 2009
(ESPN) Spiffy The worst seats in Yankee Stadium are quickly becoming the best seats... for home run ball collectors, as 20 home runs sail over the short right-field porch in 4 games (65)
(AFP) Interesting The chairman of a football team raises the possibility of labor strife by calling for changes to his league's salary structure. No, not that football, the other one (10)
(ESPN) Obvious Could life be any sweeter? Let's celebrate the NHL playoffs with some conversation and beer. On your plate tonight: Bruins/Habs at 7pm EST, Caps/Rangers at 7pm EST, and Hawks/Flames at 9:30pm EST (624)
(ESPN) Obvious Guess which city lost yet another pro football team today (48)
(Chicago Tribune) Followup Ever wanted to own a piece of baseball's longest-suffering franchise? Well, Tom Ricketts has an offer for you (23)
(Yahoo) Obvious Mike Brown wins 2009 "LeBron James is on my team" award  T-Shirt (55)
(Pensacola News Journal) Cool In a short period of time, Urban Meyer has done two fantastic things: 1) brought the Gators back to national prominence, and 2) eased overcrowding in Sunshine State prisons (36)
(Independent) Strange "Your league is run by donkeys, you are being raped by Rupert Murdoch, and if you want to discuss it, we can do so over a lunch of my finest stags' testicles. Sincerely, Mohamed Al Fayed." (22)
(Pro Football Talk.com) Followup League source says DT B.J. Raji did not test positive for drugs at the combine, may have been a rumor started by a team with a lower draft position hoping he would fall down the draft board (27)
(Yahoo) Interesting FBI investigating Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino's equipment manager's estranged wife for extortion. May the schwartz be with you (15)
(USA Today) Cool After tumultuous 2008 season, Titans QB Vince Young vows to "smile and shut up and continue being Vince Young, a happy smiling guy." Unknown if he will have a Coke (32)
(ESPN) Amusing With the 6th pick of the all time NFL Draft, the Cincinnati Bengals take: Tony Mandarich, OT, Michigan State (44)
(Yahoo) Stupid MLB solidifies the case of all replay opponents by blowing the first replay reviewed play of the year (55)
(Sports by Brooks) Strange MLB.com won't let you buy a Nick Adenhart jersey (31)
(ESPN) Sad A Heisman, three straight undefeated seasons including a 59-0 asswhupping of Notre Dame, and yet not a single down played in the NFL. A farewell to Felix "Doc" Blanchard, USMA class of '47 (15)
(ESPN) Spiffy Denver Nuggets open first home-court playoff series in 21 years by posting up second-biggest margin of victory in team's playoff history (24)
(CBC) Stupid Milan Lucic smacks a yappy Maxim Lapierre in the mouth during game 2 of the Habs - Bruins game, NHL suspends Lucic for being a big bully (72)
(The 700 Level) Cool With a Phillies walkoff HR, a Flyers victory, and a Sixers last second winner, it was an "Amazing" Sunday in Philadelphia (46)
(Boston Globe) Spiffy 100-year-old bowler rolls into bowling history, refuses to mark it zero (22)

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