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Sun January 18, 2009
(YouTube) Amusing "McFarland... stumbles into the bleachers.... life is tough back there in the bleachers" (2)
(Yahoo) Scary Steelers win AFC championship, prepare for Super Bowl, nearly kill Willis McGahee (45)
(Yahoo) Cool Arizona Cardinals make it to the Super Bowl for the first time ever. Cold chills descend upon Philadelphia, Hell (94)
(New York Daily News) Interesting Manny being Manny is still being unemployed (39)
(LA Times) Obvious Matt Leinart finds out USC fans loved him more than the rest of the country. "In L.A., when I was there, I really felt beloved, but the minute you get out of there, it's like everyone else hates you." (27)
(NFL.COM) Cool NFL Conference Championships - PHI/AZ (3:00pm ET, Fox), BAL/PIT (6:30pm ET, CBS). Winners are Super Bowl bound. Drunken shenanigans, commentary, trash talk, and assorted wharrgarbl, all could be yours if you click to the right (5109)
(Yahoo) Cool NASCAR is only a month away, Time to sign up for the 2009 Fark Racing League (58)
(ESPN) Interesting After getting torn to pieces in the media over yet another temper tantrum, Mark Cuban vows to pay $25,000 to J.R. Smith's favorite charity. Submitter kindly requests he donate it to STFU & GBTW, Inc (14)
(The Morning Call) Interesting Pottsville Mayor: ''We're going to have to call a meeting of the warlocks and witches to reinstitute this hex we have on the Cardinals.'' (16)
(The March to Madness) Amusing The brother of a Providence player who was injured during a loss to Marquette decides to take up the matter with an official and walks onto the court (with video) (35)
(TSN) Cool Six NHL Teams to begin next season with regular season games in Europe (44)

Sat January 17, 2009
(STLToday) Cool After trying Offensive "genius" hires for the past two picks, the Rams finally realize it's thier Defense that sucks and hire the man who masterminded the end of the Patriots perfect season (51)
(Some Guy) Fail Last place NY Islanders sign former fan favorite to replace two injured goalies, only to have him claimed off waivers before he can play a game (36)
(ESPN) Spiffy Mets fans can look forward to at least more three more years of choking to Cole Hamels (38)
(ESPN) Obvious President Bush could inject some controversy into his final days, really stick it to the democrats by pardoning Roger Clemens (36)
(AZCentral) Amusing Jake Plummer, 34, reflects on fact that while he's trying to further his competitive handball career, Kurt Warner is about to take Cardinals to Super Bowl (68)
(Hartford Courant) Interesting Catcher Jason Varitek meets with Red Sox owners after turning down arbitration offer and finding no suitors. Reportedly started off negotiations with "Please? Pretty please?" (54)
(BBC) Misc Real Madrid president resigns over vote-rigging scandal. Fake Madrid president vows to stay in office until replacement named (67)
(Some Fat Man) Florida Florida Marlins seek a few fat men (6)

Fri January 16, 2009
(LA Times) Cool Tiger Woods added to the list of speakers at Obama's inauguration. Fer shizzle (48)
(Sports by Brooks) Interesting Dwyane Wade's wife says superstar sullied her with STDs, wants a list of all his sexual partners. Thousands volunteer to do the research (38)
(Sign On San Diego) Amusing San Diego Mayor makes good on his bet; gets photo taken with Steelers jersey in the penguin exhibit at Sea World (27)
(Des Moines Register) Stupid Beloved college football broadcaster forced to retire after somebody takes a picture of him looking down the blouse of a young woman at a bar (46)
(Some Guy) Silly Seven reasons to hate Steeler fans, according to a Ravens fan. Steelers would give a high five, but their hands are weighted down by all those rings (89)
(Some Guy) Sad Those of you that are employed as a head coach in the NFL, please step forward. Woah, not so fast Mr. Gruden (92)
(Sports by Brooks) Asinine The Univ. of Tennessee football coaching staff features a defensive coordinator making $2M , a defensive line coach making $600,000 and a coach without a job description making $150,000 (38)
(ESPN) Stupid Atlanta Braves considering bringing back Tom Glavine, Andruw Jones, crushing disappointment and resentment (24)
(FARK) PSA It's aquigley's 2009 Fark Sports Tab Spectacularrrrrrrrr DIT LGT a previous year (328)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting Arizona receiver Larry Fitzgerald could catch a golf ball in the dark from 100 yards away, and here's why (44)
(Gawker) Strange Remember that idiot basketball coach that (allegedly) assaulted a cab driver? Apparently he hasn't been, um, taking it to the hole lately, so his wife is suing the cab driver for ruining their sex life (13)
(CBS Sports) Obvious Vince Carter watches flight 1549 land in Hudson from his bedroom window; suffers only serious injury (23)
(Yahoo) Amusing David Feherty: "I went to both Iraq and Mississippi. And I can tell you this, I'd rather go back to Iraq than Mississippi." Begosh and Begorrah (27)
(WNBC-TV) Interesting New York Islanders explore move to Kansas City, joining Lakers, Jazz in the grand cavalcade of incongruously-named teams (60)
(NBA) Strange Lebron James comes up 3 assists short of a triple-double in rout of...wait, what? The Bulls beat the Cavs just 5 days after losing to the Thunder? (38)
(London Times) Fail Chelsea midfielder urges team-mates to stop sulking, do a better job of rolling around on turf pretending their knee really, really hurts (121)

Thu January 15, 2009
(SFGate) Interesting What Mark McGwire must do if he ever hopes to get into the Hall of Fame (105)
(Sports by Brooks) Stupid MLB opens restaurant in Japan. Establishment to be operated by Sunrise Japan Co., a Tokyo-based company that specializes in food services and tanning salons. (Jose Canseco soon to be fishing for employee discount?) (11)
(Major League Baseball) Asinine After refusing their requests and demanding a trade, Rangers infielder Michael Young finally agrees to shift from shortstop to third base. After all, it's not like he won a Gold Glove playing there in 2008 or anything (46)
(Some Guy) Stupid Man charged with impersonating Yankees star Joba Chamberlain. His attorney says "What's the crime in pretending to be someone? I'm Mel Gibson; want to have a drink? He just goofed around because he kind of looks like the guy." (25)
(Baltimore Sun) Unlikely "I don't know why a whole city would dislike me. Maybe I smile too much and they don't like that I'm happy all the time" (49)
(ESPN) Spiffy Monica Seles to take a stab at entering the Tennis Hall of Fame (10)
(FanNation) Dumbass Cincinnati talk radio host wonders aloud on air "How many illegitimate children does the UC men's basketball team have?" I guess he's never heard of Don Imus (48)
(ESPN) Misc Baseball owners agree to rule change requiring playoff games to be played through to their conclusions. Because the games just aren't long enough now (31)
(Sports by Brooks) Interesting Instead of visiting Arizona for NFC Championship contest, the Eagles could've easily ended up hosting the game - in Phoenix - if former team owner had had his way (19)
(Some Guy) Cool There's only one way to celebrate your NFL team reaching the conference championship. By creating a blinking light football field on your front lawn with accompanying music (with video goodness) (11)
(ESPN) Interesting The Detroit Lions have a new scapegoat. Oops, I meant to say "have a new coach" (45)
(Fort Collins Coloradoan) Asinine Basketball team wins 94-1; winning coach says important to "respect" game (58)
(Toronto Star) Obvious Former Leafs coach Paul Maurice says he hopes team loses every game they play for the next 10 years. Finally, an achievement of which the Leafs are capable (27)
(NYPost) Unlikely Rickey Henderson says that despite the fact that Rickey Henderson is in the Hall of Fame, Rickey Henderson is still interested in playing baseball because Rickey Henderson still has some skills (38)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Just like his NFL career, former Giant Dave Meggett takes it to the hole when he properly shouldn't (27)
(Yahoo) Florida Winter Haven sues former spring training tenant, Cleveland Indians, for over $100,000 in unpaid parking, concession, ticket and advertising revenues (7)
(ESPN) Amusing Houston Astros say Roger Clemens is welcome to attend training camp... assuming he buys a ticket like every other fan (14)
(YouTube) Amusing Kobe Bryant on a horse...seriously...selling ankle insurance in Viral Video. BROKEN ANKLES (21)
(Toledo Blade) Cool Man builds ice rink in his back yard, complete with hockey nets, portable lights, and music. "It's not uncommon for kids to get dropped off at 5 o'clock and we have to ask them to leave at 11" (52)
(NJ.com) Dumbass Fail #1: You're the NJ Nets owner. Fail #2: You DEMAND the NJ Devils sell tickets to a NJ Nets game....in Newark NJ (36)
(Yahoo) Interesting Grand jury testimony given by drug-testing expert says that the BALCO drug Barry Bonds used was neither illegal nor a steroid. Looks like he might be in the clear (60)
(Free Press) Obvious Sam Bradford would rather play for Oklahoma for free than get paid millions to play for the Detroit (5°F) Lions (0-16) (49)
(Geno's World) Video LeBron James takes on 5 goofy white guys from GQ and destroys them on the court (29)
(Philly) Obvious Dallas Cowboys suddenly beging to realize that Terrell Owens, despite all his talent, is an attention-whoring, malignant tumor (80)
(Sports by Brooks) Fail In its neverending quest to invade markets that don't care about hockey, the NHL is seriously considering staging its annual New Year's Day outdoor game on the Las Vegas Strip (42)
(WTMJ) Ironic In -40 wind chilled Milwaukee, the only place Heat can win is on the basketball court (13)
(Deadspin) Spiffy Daughter of Jets owner has hair set on fire during "raging catfight" with lesbian girlriend. Subby too distracted by phrases "raging catfight" and "lesbian girlfriend" to be more clever here (112)
(MSNBC) Obvious Yao Ming upset that Tracy McGrady has stolen his role as the Rockets' designated malingerer for this year (9)
(SMH) Interesting Sydney footballer beaten up by his team's fans after the game, thanks his wife for saving his ass (7)
(CNN) Amusing What else are the Yankees getting for their insane spending this offseason? A renewed effort to impose salary caps on baseball teams (111)

Wed January 14, 2009
(ESPN) Obvious USC quarterback Mark Sanchez may enter NFL draft. Expect this one to get dirty (34)
(ESPN) Obvious The Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim, formally known as the Anaheim Angels, formally known as the California Angels, won't be facing a new/old name any time soon (34)
(Chicago Tribune) Silly Bears coaching staff pulls their 2009 roles out of a hat, resulting in the head coach being the defensive coordinator, the defensive coordinator being the linebacker coach, and the assistant head coach being the defensive line coach (44)
(Sports by Brooks) Stupid In an effort to ignite interest in moribund football program, Syracuse floats the idea of "unretiring" #44 once worn by Jim Brown, Ernie Davis (26)
(Yahoo) Followup New York Giants WR Plaxico Burress tells police he wasn't involved in 2005 shooting incident where his cousin was arrested. In related news, Burress admits to shooting the sheriff, but not shoot the deputy (15)
(CNBC) Misc Website for cheaters not allowed to advertise during the Super Bowl. Amazingly the site is not patriots.com (48)
(ESPN) Florida Apparently badges and uniforms were stolen from Florida law enforcement in 2008. Just because there hasn't been any specific threat against the Super Bowl does not, however, mean that EVERYBODY shouldn't PANIC (7)
(Awful Announcing) Strange ESPN to preempt January 20 daytime programming with live coverage of Obama's inauguration ceremony, while simultaneously airing marathon of documentaries about other groundbreaking black athletes on ESPN Classic (58)
(New York Daily News) Asinine Giants reward Eli's inept performance against the Eagles with $120M contract. Don't they realize David Carr would suck twice as hard for half as much? (85)
(El Paso Times) Hero Former NFL Defensive End now protecting our nation's borders (28)
(Sports by Brooks) Stupid Isiah Thomas' brother finds relief at his local church - or should that be, ON his local church (9)
(Fox Sports) Obvious In effort to ensure he will never win another Nascar race again. Bobby Labonte reaches deal to drive for Yates\Hall of fame racing (27)
(Post-Gazette) Stupid With all other problems solved, Pittsburgh mayor petitions to change his own name to "Steelerstahl" (34)
(SFGate) Obvious To fill out his coaching staff, San Francisco 49ers head coach Mike Singletary turns to the tried and true formula -- nepotism (24)
(USA Today) Unlikely Executive director of the American Football Coaches Association thinks he knows what's wrong with the BCS rankings -- it's the coaches' fault (22)
(Dallas News) Scary Motorist points gun at ex-Cowboy Irvin, lets him go out of professional courtesy (31)
(760 KFMB) Unlikely After yet another San Diego playoff failure, rumors start swirling that the Chargers plan to trade LaDainian Tomlinson and make Darren Sproles the feature back (116)
(Some Guy) Asinine The latest economic failure that may not happen due to lack of money: the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver (31)
(Sports by Brooks) Cool 17-year-old Texas female high school basketball is 6-8, wears size-17 shoes, has 86-inch wingspan and is likely to be first woman ever to dunk without a running start (89)
(CBS Sports) Spiffy Jodie Meeks scores 54 for Kentucky. That would have beaten or tied a half dozen entire D-I teams Tuesday night (59)
(Yahoo) Spiffy The Orlando Magic make an NBA record 23 three pointers in a 139-107 rout over the hapless Sacramento Kings (19)
(BBC) Asinine Today's Premiership news: The credit crunch has not hit Manchester, where people are willing to pay £100m, plus £500k per week, to get Kaka (40)

Tue January 13, 2009
(USA Today) Followup FSU star will not be in NFL draft this year because a) He's got more drugs than Eli Lilly, b) he was shot and paralyzed outside a strip club or c) because he's going to Oxford on a Rhodes Scholarship (77)
(ESPN) Misc Crabtree entering NFL draft. Spanky, Alfalfa heartbroken (39)
(Sports by Brooks) Obvious Sale of the EPL's Newcastle United for $300M to an unnamed "wealthy American" falls through immediately after Mets owner (and MLS owner-wannabe) Fred Wilpon lost $300M in Bernie Madoff Ponzi scheme (11)
(ESPN) Spiffy Dolphins, Jets and Bills sigh relief, Pioli headed to the Chiefs. Suck it Pats (54)
(Canada.com) Cool Retired skating hottie Katarina Witt visits Vancouver to film 2010 Olympics preview for German TV. Even when fully clothed, she looks better than Tonya (25)
(Deadspin) Dumbass T-Mobile tells Charles Barkley to take his ball and go home. That's turrible (26)
(Some Guy) Video Things you shouldn't do as a small, mid-major college basketball team: Create a knock off video of the Super Bowl Shuffle. Bonus: School president drops some dope rhymes (17)
(Sports by Brooks) Spiffy Ex-Dallas Cowboys cheerleader made squad via reality show. Now seen making out on another reality show (pics, video) (13)
(TSN) Obvious This year's Pittsburgh Penguins are last years Ottawa Senators (66)
(USA Today) Strange In a sure sign of the impending apocalypse, Shaq suddenly making free throws - including his last 12 in a row (23)
(hockeyfights.com) Amusing Goalie fighting Goalie, benches clear and coaches fighting. Just a normal day in Shreveport (32)
(Sports by Brooks) Dumbass NY Giants fans take out football frustrations on Porsche, SUV (with video goodness) (105)
(Sign On San Diego) Cool Chargers CB Cromartie played the entire season with a broken hip (42)
(MLB.com) Stupid Florida Marlins sign outfielder who hasn't played since he was outed as a steroid user more than a year ago (12)
(ESPN) Scary Ben Roethlisberger didn't just suffer a concussion against the Browns, he suffered a spinal cord concussion and couldn't feel team doctors sticking a pin in his arm (86)
(The Tennessean) Interesting Kerry Collins wants to remain a starter with the Titans, and if not, he'll retire to his farm to play touch football with Brett Favre (31)
(AJC) Cool Braves reach a four year lowe (55)
(Yahoo) Dumbass The Los Angeles Lakers defeated the Miami Heat on Sunday, but Lakers coach Phil Jackson has to be carted off in the wahhhhmbulance (25)
(Yahoo) Silly Cheer up, Seattle hoops fans: basketball is returning for another ten years. Wait... on second thought, does Oklahoma City want another team? (22)
(Denver Post) Interesting 49ers head coach Nolan becomes Denver's defensive coordinator. No word if he'll still be allowed to wear a suit (22)
(ESPN) Spiffy Penske will use will power to get past Castroneves trial. He will also use Will Power  T-Shirt (10)
(Boston Globe) Stupid US Marshalls apparently feel the best use of their resources is motorcades to major sporting events and moonlighting as statisticians for Fox Sports (28)
(NYPost) Spiffy Knicks player slapped with sex suit after former driver alleges he was slapped around a bit, but in a sexy way (27)
(YouTube) Interesting If you think "drifting" looks impressive from outside the car, get a load of what it looks like from behind the wheel (53)
(ESPN) Obvious Tebow has surgery, performed it himself without anesthesia and is expected to recover in 3-4 minutes (56)
(ESPN) Obvious Cristano Ronaldo named World Player of the Year - hopefully someone else drove him to the award ceremony (29)
(Yahoo) Obvious The Mets are trying new and exciting ways to disappoint their fans (23)

Mon January 12, 2009
(Sports by Brooks) Dumbass Jackie Joyner-Kersee accused of paying husband $450 per hour to work for her failing charitable foundation. She also owes $450,000 in back taxes and husband has warrant for passing a bad check (16)
(Sports by Brooks) Dumbass A soccer player learns that mocking fans by imitating a plane crash that killed eight of their players might get under their skin, but it also might get you in trouble (33)
(London Times) Obvious Even world snooker champion complains that game is unbelievably boring unless you're drinking as much as the players (11)
(NJ.com) Stupid In an effort to know what it's like to win something, New York Mets farm team to become the Baracklyn Cyclones. How Bush league (15)
(Major League Baseball) Cool Rickey Henderson and Jim Rice elected to Hall of Fame (456)
(SFGate) Interesting Four reasons why the San Francisco Giants are willing to spend millions of dollars to "Let Manny be Manny". One of them might just be so the Giants don't suck quite so much this season (36)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing NFL players who blog are just like your typical sports blogger. Except the part about hooking up with a "shy" Playboy Playmate at Hugh Hefner's mansion (32)
(NYPost) Scary Mets' new stadium might give new meaning to "September collapse" (14)
(Fox Sports) Sad Tony Dungy to step down as head coach of the Indianapolis Colts (91)
(Some Guy not Pacman) Dumbass Telling the cops ""I don't give a f*** if you're the police," is probably not the best thing to say. Even if you are in the NFL (31)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing Maryland player tells booing Terps fans to shut the fark up (55)
(NYPost) Obvious After yesterday's loss to the Eagles, the Giants are thinking of giving Plaxico Burress another shot at wide receiver (85)
(Denver Post) Cool Baby-faced wunderkind to be the new Denver Broncos head coach. "There's not a responsible bartender in Colorado who wouldn't first greet the new Broncos' coach by asking for his ID" (57)
(Chicago Tribune) Sad If Bull Durham were based on hockey, this guy's the equivalent of Crash Davis. Sets record for goals scored in all minor leagues, gets pink slip soon after (39)

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