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Sun April 20, 2008
Yahoo Cool Wizard of Oz shuts out the Predators sending the Red Wings to the second round of the playoffs (17)
(TSN) Spiffy Will, power and a little will power power Will Power to powerful Champ Car win (9)
SeattlePI Obvious Air Jordan collection stolen from home, nothing else was taken. It's gotta be the shoes (6)
(Some Pucker) Obvious This pretty much sums up the state of hockey in America: NHL playoff game bumped off air in upstate New York to air a Victoria Principal informercial for makeup (28)
Sky.com Dumbass Max Mosley says his wife "not best pleased" and his sons "embarrassed" about his Nazi sex orgy adding that it's all OK because the FIA has saved thousands of lives on the road. Clearly doesn't get it (11)
Rocky Mountain News Scary The Denver Nuggets were hoping someone would get hot and catch fire for today's game against the Lakers. Just not the team bus (6)
ESPN Spiffy NBA Playoffs Thread, Day 2: Can the Nuggets/Hawks/Sixers make things interesting? (92)
ESPN Cool Nascar Nationwide Series Corona Mexico 200 discussion thread. Arriba (30)
(TSN) Obvious Blue Jays release The Big Hurt after he got his feelings hurt since he would have hurt the club in another long, hurting season. The Jays are the new Yankees (51)
(Some Hockey Farker) Cool Sunday's NHL Playoffs: three more thrilling, exciting, nailbiting, edge-of-your-seat dramatic games (576)
Chicago Sun-Times Amusing Cubs right fielder Kosuke Fukudome on his fans in the bleachers: ''Basically, all of the signs have mistakes in the translations, so they don't make much sense.'' (21)
CNN Asinine New York Mets rip Phillies fans for cheering when it appeared that Jose Reyes had suffered a head injury. Michael Irvin, Santa Claus nod in agreement (38)
The Tennessean Ironic News: Predators captain Jason Arnott may miss game 6 of Preds/Wings series after receiving vicious hit. Fark: From his own teammate in post-goal celebration (22)
FanHouse Cool Canuck takes UFC 83. Who knew they could fight? (46)
ESPN Followup Crying? There's no crying in racing. Danica Patrick in victory lane in Japan (video) (32)
YouTube Video Is Dirk Nowitzki a flopper? (44)
YouTube Amusing Hitler reacts to the Canucks missing the playoffs (35)
Boston Globe Spiffy Bruins hold on to game 7 against Montreal. What kind of deal with the devil did Boston make to get their sports teams winning again? (55)
IndyStar Hero Danica does it, is first female to win in Indy car competition (354)

Sat April 19, 2008
(mlb.com) Sad Former major leaguer John Marzano dies at 45 in Philadelphia (19)
CNN Stupid Rapper Soulja Boy says that he feels "disrespected" by Lebron James using his name to refer to an opponent derivisely, may have to superman dat ho (56)
(Faceoffcircle.net) Video Martin doesn't shake Sean's hand, so Sean totally calls Martin a fatso. It's not 4th grade, it's the end of an NHL Playoff series (71)
(NBA.com) Cool Saturday NBA playoffs thread (351)
Yahoo Spiffy Dozens of fans nationwide gather for another day of playoff hockey (556)
AP Amusing Iglesias says Kournikova keeps rebuffing marriage proposals. Subby knows exactly how he feels (25)
CNN Obvious Mike Hampton is a bad influence on Tom Glavine (11)
(Some Guy) Video The most insane dunk you will see in the next 34 minutes (101)

Fri April 18, 2008
(Sportsline) Obvious Isiah Thomas officially fired as coach of the Knicks, will remain with the organization in a lesser capacity. Just remember that when you see how clean the floors are in the 400 sections (34)
Sports by Brooks Obvious ESPN analyst explains why Utah Jazz fans get so rowdy at games: "They’re Mormon. And they’re in Salt Lake. And there’s nothing else there." (24)
(CBS Sportsline) Followup NBA owners approve Seattle Supersonics' move to Oklahoma City (58)
Sports by Brooks Obvious Drug dealer claims he was an expert at ripping off Tennessee Titans in marijuana purchases; His sales dried up in 2005, the same year Pacman Jones joined the club (15)
ESPN Followup "If he's not traded, it's going to be a problem." (30)
Sports by Brooks Dumbass By declaring for the NBA draft, Derrick Rose will live a lavish lifestyle, fulfill his professional dreams, take care of his family for life, and avoid beat downs from Memphis Tiger football players in disputes over girls (7)
(Some Guy) Misc David Beckham's ex personal assistant will go on TV to discuss the alleged affair she had with him. "In a way they should be glad it happened - I think their marriage is stronger than ever." (15)
(Some Guy) Amusing Beckham's kid gives the Camera-man the finger. Fark: he's only three (22)
Sports by Brooks Scary Apparently unable to locate a single bipedal form in South Florida containing feminine characteristics, Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade reportedly dating Star Jones (48)
NYPost Obvious A-Rod left Bobby Abreu hanging after he scored. Tells him to not get upset, that's just how it goes, he don't love them hoes (30)
BBC Spiffy Some sports teams are named after animals. Others are named after themes of local interest. Then there's the Indian Premier Cricket League, where teams are named after brands of liquor, or talking cars (57)
Boston Globe Interesting Boston Globe searches for the answers as to why Kenyans have won the Boston Marathon each year since 1986 (161)
FARK Cool NHL Playoff Discussion Thread: 3 games today (825)
YouTube Audio Reds announcer Marty Brennaman rips Cubs fans on air for being careless with their balls (117)
Yahoo Strange Today's made for Fark headline: Bolden boning up for pep talk to US women athletes (7)
ESPN Unlikely Man United resigns Ferdinand. Yay. Man United resigns Carrick. Right on. Man United resigns Brown. WTF? (19)
BBC Interesting Recovering drug addicts given tickets to watch Newcastle United matches, which is one of the reasons why many people in Newcastle take drugs to begin with (5)
YouTube Video A.J. Pierzynski only threw out 16 percent of basestealers last season. So surely a sportswriter can steal second base on him, right? (some profanity) (51)
ESPN Cool The Colorado Rockies beat the San Diego Padres 2-1... in 22 innings (137)
ESPN Interesting Top 50 busts in NFL history. This is totally uncool - get OFF THEIR BACKS (85)
ESPN Silly Jets QB Clemens teary-eyed after Pope blesses daughter. Jets fans unimpressed, since they cry every year about this time (11)

Thu April 17, 2008
Sports by Brooks Followup Aborted ESPN interview may have helped drag two more years out of Miguel Tejada (w/video goodness) (17)
(Sportsline) Obvious Dear Abby: My Love has gone away. Whatever shall I do? Signed, Loveless in Westwood (11)
Canoe Obvious Hockey Night in Canada plans to show Montreal Canadiens games in prime time next year in hopes of showing Toronto fans what a professional hockey team looks like (27)
Reuters Asinine HS baseball game final score lowered from 66-0 to 9-0 to protect the feelings of their precious little snowflakes (64)
(NHL) Cool One down, seven to go (NHL playoff discussion thread) (806)
Yahoo Cool Red Wings send the old man back to his rocking chair and will start the Wizard of Oz in goal for Game 5 (53)
Sports by Brooks Amusing Dolphins getting defensive with first pick in NFL draft after Freudian slip by Miami GM in front of media? (with audio) (21)
AP Dumbass Miguel Tejada unburdens his conscience by admitting that he's 33, not 31. Lying about steroid use still not much of a burden, though (21)
ESPN Interesting Packers to retire Brett Favre's No. 4, which will be a problem when he returns in Week 6 (15)
Yahoo Followup Boston Red Sox jersey that was buried in concrete at new Yankee Stadium, only to be dug up, reaches its inevitable destination -- eBay (17)
Yahoo Obvious Big Ten decides to schedule more reasonable football opposition after its epic failures in 2007. Girl Scout Troop No. 4872 and St. Mary's School for the Disabled on standby, like their chances (46)
(Sportsline) Unlikely Roski intends to get Los Angeles another team to loose (48)
Cleveland Obvious Cleveland Indians pitcher C.C. Sabathia says he "can't command both sides of the plate." With an 0-3 record and a 13.50 ERA, it seems like he can't command *any* side of the plate (32)
Sports by Brooks Stupid Milwaukee Bucks coach banished from Isle of Impossible Jobs, leaving behind Royals manager, Duke football coach and NHL commissioner (12)
(Some Guy) Asinine Chiefs brilliant recipe for rebuilding: Trade their 26-year-old, NFL-leading sack leader for draft picks, a rusted 1962 VW Beetle, and a sack of magic beans (36)
NYPost Sad You soon won't have Isiah Thomas to kick around any longer (26)
Daily Mail Asinine Liverpool are already selling tickets to the Champions League final. Even though they haven't gotten past the semi-final (30)
Chicago Tribune Cool Soriano who? (35)
(Some Guy) Strange What embarassing picture of Matt Leinart can we find today? Oh, here's one (91)
(Some Guy) Amusing Alabama's Nick Saban goes off on a reporter who asks about the Crimson Tide having too many players on scholarship (44)
The Onion Amusing Yankees one-up Red Sox, bury Bernie Williams in new stadium concrete (20)
CNN Sad His heart is breaking, his shoulder aching, and rusty knees all dull and sore / Steve McNair will lead the Ravens nevermore (42)
Yahoo Obvious Why Mickey Mantle's legendary home run -- hit with a bat borrowed from a teammate named Babe -- probably didn't actually travel anything close to 565 feet (44)
(Some Guy) Obvious Ottawa Senators now available to caddy for Leafs as Penguins sweep series 4-0 (73)
Rocky Mountain News Unlikely "Carmelo Anthony is not only sorry, he is truly sorry, a greater degree than plain sorry and sorrier now than he was the last time. And the time before that" (26)
Houston Chronicle Spiffy The last time the New York Yankees scored this many runs against the Red Sox at Yankee Stadium, Mickey Mantle homered for New York and Ted Williams went deep for Boston (58)
Yahoo Dumbass Guess which MLB player defended Barry Bonds, played the race card, and called his own sport boring. Hint: He once laughed at a 10-year-old kid who was injured playing football against his son (77)
Sports by Brooks Followup With a pre-game introduction like this, no wonder the Ottawa Senators got swept (with video badness) (21)
London Times Strange Professional sports cheerleading takes on cricket. I've got a sticky wicket (10)
CBS News Amusing Don't wear a jersey and 25 other sports rules for men (103)

Wed April 16, 2008
CNN Stupid After missing the playoffs yet again, the Carolina Hurricanes decided to punish themselves by setting $7.6 million on fire (25)
Yahoo Dumbass Soriano injured after needlessly hopping to catch a fly ball. Lou Piniella and thousands of fantasy owners are unimpressed (21)
CNN Obvious The worst free-agent deals ever (85)
(Some Guy) Hero Stevens hit on Kozlov in the '95 Stanley Cup Finals voted best hit ever (70)
CBS 4 Denver Followup Carmelo Anthony's level of impairment after he was stopped by police in Denver was described as "extreme" by investigating officers (23)
Denver Post Spiffy The Colorado Avalanche defeat the Minnesota Goon, 5-1 (54)
CNN Strange An interview showing the softer side of Herschel Walker. And the darker. Also the crazy one. And the hyper-competitive Herschel. Not to mention the psychotic rampaging side (14)
(NY Daily News) Followup One day after the "Sean Avery Rule" is announced, Sean Avery practices face guarding a TV camera with a single finger extended (71)
Sports by Brooks Amusing The rumors of John Daly giving birth during a brief hospital stay are highly exaggerated (9)
FARK Cool Wednesday NHL playoff discussion (762)
(Some Guy) Interesting Reynolds and ESPN settle lawsuit (22)
AZCentral Weird Arizona Cardinals DT Gabe Watson suffers broken kneecap when he slips and falls on treadmill (22)
CNN Spiffy Pete Carroll names Mark Sanchez the starting QB for USC. Mark expected to earn his nickname the first time he is tackled in the mud (20)
Yahoo Obvious Dusty Baker celebrates his return to Wrigley Field by doing what he always did best -- losing (51)
Yahoo Spiffy New York Mets reliever Duaner Sanchez finally returns from the 630-day disabled list (26)
(Some Guy) Obvious China unveils "Bird's Nest" stadium for Olympics, boasting 91,000 seats and a state-of-the-art execution room in the basement (25)
Boston Globe Obvious Like a sorority girl on GHB, the Indians collapse again and hand the Red Sox another come-from-behind victory (27)
(SportsWrap) Amusing How do we add even more hysteria to the Yankees/Red Sox rivalry? Call Steven Spielberg (121)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Madden 2009 lets you control the touchdown celebration. No word on marketing tie-ins with Sharpie or Nokia (53)
(Toronto Sun) Strange Canadian boxing club only admits females... and shemales. It's a porno just waiting to be made (10)
MSNBC Cool Preview of the 10 best NFL regular season games this season. Strangely missing is Brett Favre's return to the Packers circa Week 5, 7, 12 or perhaps 2 (53)
(www.IHT.com) Unlikely Greek Olympic weightlifting team blames tainted Chinese diet supplements for failed drug tests. In other news, lead is a performance-enhancing drug (5)
Deadspin Scary Australian Olympians were fed chocolate muffins tainted with paper clips. Investigators plan to leave no scone unturned (7)
Sports by Brooks Amusing Tommy Lasorda can't get his stories straight about two meetings: A lesbian porn-viewing party with a hooker and gaining an audience with Pope John Paul I in the summer of '78 (when he was managing the Dodgers) (8)
(the Kansas Citian) Amusing Minor league baseball teams decide to welcome Michael Vick to the Kansas City neighborhood with a special promotional night. Prison stripes vs. orange jumpsuits will grace the field (15)
AP Misc That sound you just heard was every other PGA tour golfer breathing a sigh of relief (30)

Tue April 15, 2008
Yahoo Interesting First pitch ceremony at Yankees game to be done from space, probably to honor NASA escaping the gravitational suck from Earth caused by the Yankees (23)
ESPN Cool Tuesday NHL Playoff discussion (435)
CNN Amusing Do you know the similarity between Miguel Cabrera and Jar Jar Binks? (29)
Boston Herald Obvious "It isn't like Manny got a lot of power behind that hit, the ball just wanted to get the hell out of Cleveland" (75)
DallasNews Dumbass Pacman Jones won't apply for reinstatement to NFL until after he's traded. Well, that should certainly increase his trade value (22)
(Some Guy) Ironic NBA scout on Knicks: "They haven't run any plays in over a month." Subby thought they hadn't been running plays all year (12)
ESPN Hero In celebration of Jackie Robinson Day, here are 42 things you should know about the man who broke the color barrier in 1947 (39)
NYPost Obvious Pedro out until June (54)
USA Today Interesting Former Sonics owner to sue current ownership group for breach of contract, wants team back (36)
ESPN Obvious ESPN's mock NFL draft has the top five teams filling their most pressing needs, and then the Jets will draft a philosophy major from Vassar (38)
ESPN Amusing 2008 NFL Schedule is finally out. Guess who has the easiest schedule? (110)
Minneapolis Star Tribune Amusing "Minnesota, the land of 10,000 dead car batteries, has an inferiority about this hockey team. The Wild's style of play is as ugly and obnoxious as the uniforms" (43)
Philly Unlikely Hockey analyst misspoke when he said "Crapitals," wants to move on to the next game with the Cryers (28)
Philly Cool Top five late-round NFL draft sleepers, including some tiny QB/all purpose back from Georgia Southern who may be the next Brian Westbrook for some lucky team (23)
WTAM PSA Indians closer Joe Borowski won't blow a save for at least two weeks (24)
SFGate Asinine American athletes "mixed" on role of protest in Beijing Olympics. Definition of mixed: "I think it's all right if my Olympic glory is overshadowed by people getting shot" (108)
(Sporting News) Stupid Nebraska expecting 81,000 fans and 22,000 teeth to attend annual Spring Game (41)
Globe and Mail Obvious Montreal Canadien Tomas Plekanec: "I played like a little girl out there" (17)
CNN Amusing Anyone getting too excited about how your team will fix all its problems in the upcoming NFL draft might want to read this 1989 SI article about how Tony Mandarich was going to tear up the league (43)
ESPN Interesting Kansas State's Michael Beasley enters the NBA draft (34)
ESPN Asinine Joe Lunardi starts smokin' crack early, projects 2009 NCAA March Madness. Your bracket asplode (19)
ESPN Interesting Phoenix Suns give Golden State Warriors opportunity to tie 1971-72 Suns for best record to miss the playoffs (28)
ESPN Amusing Philadelphia 76ers: "Yay, we held off the Cleveland Cavaliers. Let's go to the locker room to celebrate." Refs: "Not so fast, 76ers" (36)
BBC Cool Blind man runs seven marathons in seven days, has yet to see the finish line (13)
(Some Rudderless Canuck) Interesting The NHL's first casualty of the playoffs is..... Dave Nonis (21)

Mon April 14, 2008
ESPN Followup Ladies and gentlemen, in the grand tradition of the Trent Tucker Rule and the Gordie Howe Hat Trick, I give you the Sean Avery Rule (72)
LA Times Spiffy Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's fat-fighting tips. "I know that because most people’s heads come up to my waist, they’re staring right at my gut, so every extra inch looks even bigger to them" (10)
BBC Dumbass Chelsea, still undefeated this year, just lost the premier title by a draw (38)
CNN Obvious Sports Illustrated picks Kobe Bryant for MVP (95)
9 News Obvious The agony of watching the Denver Broncos play on Sundays just got a little easier in Colorado (22)
Toronto Star Dumbass What's worse: Waiting 15 years for Maple Leafs tickets, or paying requisite $5,000 bribe once wait is over? "I knew right then I'd been scammed" (26)
The Smoking Gun Dumbass Carmelo Anthony mug shot (164)
(Some Guy) Interesting Jeter may play tonight (52)
Sports by Brooks Stupid Pope to say Mass at Yankee Stadium Sunday with sermon to warn against gluttony, pride and jealousy. Also expected to cover matters outside of Schilling and the Red Sox (17)
(Sports Humor Blog) Amusing Four reasons the Yankees should have kept the buried shirt (32)
(Huffington Post) Obvious After two years without playoffs in Atlanta, Braves fans are already whinier than curse-era Red Sox fans (56)
FARK Cool The Stanley Cup Playoffs continue. Monday NHL Playoff discussion thread (468)
SFGate Interesting Despite terrible start, Detroit Tigers aren't desperate enough to sign Barry Bonds. Well, not yet, anyway (25)
Sports by Brooks Amusing Current display featuring Kansas City Chiefs at KC airport proudly pictures seven players, six of whom are no longer on the team (17)
(NY Daily News) Amusing Devils upset that Rangers winger Sean Avery got in front of goalie Martin Brodeur during 5-on-3 and waved his hands and stick in his face. At least he didn't call Brodeur's wife a lesbian (107)
(Some Guy) Obvious We interrupt our final round Masters coverage to bring you Tom Brokaw ripping the Knicks (11)
(Some Guy) Spiffy The USC Song Girls strip down to bikinis for a charity fundraiser (20)
Daily Mail Strange If you're a drunk... and you're schizophrenic... who you gonna call? Mike Tyson (10)
STLToday Interesting "Worst QB crop in years?" asks writer who seems to forget that two years ago the best QB was Alex Smith (60)
Sports by Brooks Spiffy Tennis star Ana Ivanovic -- now in lickable form (23)
Yahoo Interesting Greg Maddux wins 349th game one day before his 42nd birthday. Tom Glavine, 42, leaves in the first inning with an injury (27)
(Sportsline) Sad Sonics win the last game they will ever play in Seattle (50)
Fox News Strange Not news: Fantasy sports game giving out money to winners. News: Total prizes: $7.7 million. Fark: It's fantasy fishing (2)
The Sun Amusing Grumpy New York Yankees tell Pope and his armored Popemobile to stay the hell off their lawn during his visit to Yankee Stadium this weekend (27)

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