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Sun October 14, 2007
CNN Dumbass Indiana basketball team to lose scholarship because of excessive recruiting calls by coach Kelvin Samson...the same coach banned from making recruiting trips while a coach at Oklahoma for, you guessed it, excessive recruiting calls (15)
Orlando Sentinel Florida Referee refuses to let Muslim teenage girl in youth soccer tournament because she was wearing a head scarf (19)
BBC Spiffy England triumphs over France to take the World Conker Championship crown. God save the Queen (5)
(PB Post) Sad Ex-Miami Heat forward Alec Kessler dies while playing pick up basketball game (9)
MSNBC Obvious Twenty-two arrested in Lexington after celebrating Kentucky fans attempt to set city on fire (11)
Yahoo Obvious Favre intercepts another NFL record (20)
ESPN Cool Fark's favorite top twenty team looks to continue beatdown of snakes. NLCS discussion thread now in play (123)
(Sandusky Register) Obvious Nobody ever cared about shirtless idiots with painted chests at football games -- until the hot girls started doing it (130)
(The New Editor) Sad It's a very special day for fans of the Chicago Cubs (24)
ESPN Interesting LSU only drops 4 spots as OSU takes the #1 spot (51)
Reno Gazette-Journal Interesting George Steinbrenner gives up control of the Yankees, gives the keys to the franchise to his sons (17)
ESPN Amusing Ohio State is #1 in new AP poll and on its way to another embarrassing BCS loss (77)
ESPN Cool In case you haven't heard, the Patriots play the Cowboys this week. Week 6 NFL discussion thread (1465)
AP Dumbass Quincy Carter arrested for possession of marijuana; could cost him minor league arena football career. In other news, there is minor league Arena football and his real name is Lavonya (17)
( Interesting Evander "The Real Deal" Holyfield fails in attempt to win fifth heavyweight title (12)
Yahoo Obvious Boston fans shocked, SHOCKED, when the Red Sox choke in the 11th inning, lose 13-6 (113)
ESPN Obvious Dusty Baker signs three-year deal to ruin the Cincinnati Reds pitching staff (35)
Sports by Brooks Dumbass Georgia celebrates Vanderbilt win by stomping on Commodores' logo - 64 times, at last count (32)
Newsday Interesting New York Giants cornerback cannot outrun his girlfriend. Really (15)

Sat October 13, 2007
ESPN Spiffy #1 and #2 college football teams lose on the same day for the first time since 1996. Duke loses for first time since last week (58)
CBS News Cool Cal falls to Oregon State, leaving you one step closer to USF as the #1 team in the nation (64)
(The Courier-Journal) Amusing Kentucky knocks off No. 1 ranked LSU in school's greatest football victory ever (217)
ESPN Cool The cheatinest franchise in the NFL strikes again (33) Spiffy Hosts of the Rugby World Cup are no longer in the competition (16)
ESPN Cool Tonight's Official ALCS game 2 discussion thread (873)
ESPN Cool NASCAR Nextel Cup Bank of America 500 Discussion (282)
BBC Interesting England has their balls bowled over in decisive cricket defeat by India (11)
LA Times Cool Holyfield to fight in Moscow for the WBO championship tonight. At 44 he would be the 2nd oldest heavyweight champion ever, oldest man currently in Russia (18)
ESPN Sad Juan Encarnacion's eyesight has only improved to 20/400, meaning his MLB career is probably over but his umpiring career is just getting started (30)
(CBS Sportsline Scoreboard) Cool Today's college football discussion thread. Name the best game you've witnessed live, either at home or on the road (1112)
ESPN Stupid Maurice Jones-Drew fined $7,500 for pretending to use the goalpost as an ATM machine during a celebration (39)
BBC Cool It's your official Association Football (soccer) discussion thread. There's no club football this weekend, but the mighty Faroe Islands are playing lowly France. Come, let us discuss soccer (39)
USA Today Dumbass Dallas Cowboys safety Roy Williams fined for "horse-collar" tackle. Again (44)
Yahoo Cool Rockies win in extras. Baby Backs couldn't stay up past midnight (24)
ESPN Cool "Ladies and gentlemen, NOT Tubby Smith" (17)
( Sad Ex-NHLer Rob Ramage found guilty of multiple charges stemming for drunk-driving accident, will most likely spend life in prison. (with pic) (21)
CNN Cool Chalupa Grande gives up 8 runs in 4 1/3 as the Sox take Game One of the ALCS (54)

Fri October 12, 2007
Fox News Scary "I still have a pretty dang good headache from the whole thing," said a Montana football player after being tackled by a grizzly bear (8)
Sports by Brooks Unlikely Notre Dame student paper editorial tells students not to rush field after 1-5 Irish beat #4-ranked Boston College Saturday (14)
ESPN Obvious Upcoming report from Sen. George Mitchell's investigation into steroid use in Major League baseball will confirm what we already knew; that everyone in baseball uses steroids (17)
ESPN Followup Philadelphia Flyers forward Jesse Boulerice earns 25-game suspension, the longest single-season ban in league history (42)
Yahoo Obvious Baltimore Orioles fire pitching coach Leo Mazzone after he failed to duplicate the success he had with Atlanta. Maybe it's because the Braves had... oh, how do you say this... PITCHERS??? (29)
( Followup Eyewitness News in New York reporting Joe Torre will probably be asked to manage Yankees again in 2008 (22)
CNN Amusing Gilbert Arenas says a buzzbeater is better than sex -- except if it's with Halle Berry. What if it's with Beyonce? (20)
(Some Guy) Amusing Michelle Wie finishes dead last with a 79 on her 18th birthday. Better luck next year (23)
( Obvious Today's ALCS/NLCS thread. With "haha no Yankees" goodness (492)
ESPN Cool The Colorado Rockies can win playing smallball, longball, lowball, highball, dryball, wetball, hardball, softball, homeball, awayball, springball, autumball, eastball, and westball (27)
CNN Interesting How to stop the New England Patriots. Does not include: Hit Moss on the knee with a baton, serve Tom Brady with child support papers at halftime, transmit Belichick to parallel universe where hoodies are illegal (91)
ESPN Interesting Dallas Cowboys head coach Wade Phillips denies saying that allegations of spying tainted the New England Patriots' three Super Bowl titles. What he actually said was, "The Patriots can lick my taint" (102)
Fox News Interesting The gospel is spreading - the Boston Red Sox and especially their fans are becoming exactly what they loathe (121)
NYPost Stupid A-Rod, the playoff choker looking to land twelve year deal. Devil Rays, Nationals thought to be frontrunners (44)
ESPN Cool Surely since their 7-1 loss was greenlit, the Leafs winning their next game 8-1 (in which Mats Sundin breaks Sittler's goals and points record) should get a greenlight, too. Right? Right? (24)
ESPN Interesting New York Knicks cruise past Maccabi Tel Aviv in preseason home opener. Isiah Thomas reportedly hoping that the visit from the Maccabis will help his erection last for eight days and eight nights (4)
St. Pete Times Dumbass Tampa Bay Devil Rays outfielder Elijah Dukes, who threatened to give his wife more hits than he got at the plate this year, is headed to Dominican league. Dukes sucks (8)
ESPN Obvious Things we learned from the ALDS coverage of the Indians/Yankees from the ESPN perspective, according to the Sports Guy (26)
Yahoo Dumbass Minnesota Vikings DE Erasmus James may miss this Sunday's game because of a sore shoulder... that he suffered in a locker room fight with teammate Chester Taylor (24)
ESPN Obvious Vancouver Canucks center Ryan Kesler says the cross-check to his head was just part of the game. No, not really... he's calling for a 20-game suspension for Philadelphia Flyers enforcer Jesse Boulerice (53)
Yahoo Sad The Diamondbacks apologize for their two types of fans: The idiots that threw stuff on the field, and the "fans" that didn't bother to show up (36)
Yahoo Spiffy Wake Forest QB Riley Skinner rallies the Demon Deacons past the homestate team that wouldn't recruit him -- No. 21 Florida State (15)
Yahoo Unlikely MLB may suspend players implicated in Albany steroids case. In future news, MLB has to cancel entire season after everybody is suspended (5)
Komo Obvious In what is likely to be a microcosm of their entire season, Sonics guard Luke Ridnour breaks his nose in the preseason opener (9)
ESPN Spiffy Sanchez to make his first career start for USC this Saturday, it might get a little dirty (12)
ESPN Cool Jeff Francis beats Sports Illustrated-cover jinx, defeats Dbacks in Game 1 (34)
CNN Cool The 10 undefeated teams left in college football. Actually 11 but submitter will be deep in the cold, cold ground before he recognizes Missoura (84)
(Some Guy) Obvious Ten truths NFL fans need to understand about Week 6 before spouting off with their dumbass opinions. Not that this effort to elevate the discourse will change anything (78)
(Some Blues Fan) Silly Name the St. Louis Blues new mascot. Sorry, no option for LameAss or UFIA (28)

Thu October 11, 2007
( Spiffy Now that they've each been quickly brushed from the playoffs, Jimmy Rollins and Alex Rodriguez can sit back and enjoy their MVP... er... Legacy awards (22)
AZCentral Spiffy Denver cops arrest scalper trying to hock NLCS tickets, confiscate his 60 tickets as "evidence". In other news, expect to see a lot of off-duty cops at Sunday's game (12)
Washington Post Obvious Gilbert Arenas caught cheating... at Halo 3 (34)
ESPN Interesting NCAA basketball coaches that curse or address a referee disrespectfully will draw a quick T this season. Bobby Knight to be preemptively tossed before every game (14)
ESPN Cool Say it ain't so: Your daily Colorado Rockies, Arizona Diamondbacks, NLCS thread (276)
( Obvious In more fair and equitable postseason baseball coverage, Boston and Cleveland will be on Fox in primetime, while Arizona and Colorado will be competing with reruns of "Law & Order" (39)
(Some Guy) Hero Canada planning brothel in 2010 Olympics City. Submitter's interest in curling suddenly renewed (94)
Sports by Brooks Spiffy MMA's biggest draw, Randy Couture, tells the UFC to go pound sand (40)
ESPN Scary With David Carr's ailing back, there's a pretty good chance of Vinny "Terminator" Testaverde starting this Sunday (20)
CNN Interesting Falcons lost starting offensive tackle and will start two rookie linemen. That, combined with QB crapfest of Harrington and Leftwich, means Falcons could be first football team ever to score negative points (41)
ESPN Sad Braves GM John Schuerholz steps down after 17 seasons (29)
ESPN Unlikely LA Lakers owner Jerry Buss, looking suspiciously like Cesar Romero as The Joker, says he's willing to listen to trade offers for Kobe Bryant (14)
(Some Guy) Followup Yankees' announcer Suzyn Waldman adresses crying incident ... and comes off looking even more ridiculous (44)
Houston Chronicle Obvious As it turns out, the billions of taxpayer dollars used to build pro sports stadiums don't actually put billions of dollars back into the community. Suck it, Dallas (71)
Omaha World Herald Amusing Missouri QB Chase Daniel on Nebraska's defensive coordinator after Mizzou gained 606 yards and scored 41 points, "That's like high school stuff." Blackshirts indeed (50)
(Football Parks) Spiffy The Dallas Cowboys once again show that everything is bigger in Texas with what very well could be the greatest stadium ever built (83)
ESPN Interesting ESPN's Top 50 moments in MLB League Championship history. AKA, how David Ortiz makes every other team his biatch (52)
ESPN Dumbass Reggie Bush has some explaining to do, having received nearly $280,000 in benefits while at USC (67) Obvious Woman proves it's the pretty pattern you make when correctly picking 14 football games to win $548,532 (31)
(Wik-Wie-Pedia) Cool Happy birthday, Michelle Wie. Signed, the tens of adoring fans and the thousands waiting for you to reach the age of consent so they didn't feel... guilty (42)
USA Today Interesting After only one game in the NHL, Montreal fans are already comparing goalie Carey Price to Hall of Famer Patrick Roy (38)
Sun Sentinel Strange Scientists exhumed the body of famed Notre Dame football legend George Gipp and extracted DNA while ESPN filmed it. Rudy Ruettiger pleads, "Don't bury me, I'm not dead" (32)
London Times Obvious England already finding excuses to lose against Russia in next week's European Championship qualifier, citing the fact they will have to dive on crappy commie Astroturf (19)
( Obvious Late playoff games have parents wondering if they should let the kids stay up and watch. Well, not New York parents (22)
Reuters Obvious Expensive running shoes "not worth the money" (26)
CNN Amusing Man gets Green Bay Packers season tickets after 37 years on waiting list (38)
CNN Unlikely Allen Houston, 36, un-retires, returns to Knicks, hopes to round back into classic "bricking jump shots in the Finals" form (10)
( Amusing Colorado ski area opens first, and the skiing looks like it sucked (25)

Wed October 10, 2007
ESPN Dumbass Floyd Landis won't fade into oblivion, appeals decision that stripped him of his Tour de France crown (27)
(Fan Nation) Unlikely If A-Rod opts out, the Yankees will refuse to sign him. wink wink (115)
(CinCity Enquirer) Cool ABC's college game of the week in two weeks is two teams you may not have heard of: Cincinnati at South Florida. Suck it SEC, PAC10, BIG10 (86)
ESPN Followup Houston Texans DT Travis Johnson won't be fined for taunting Trent Green and his self-inflicted, career-threatening concussion (54)
( Interesting A week after embarassing hometown crowd with a Yankees hat, LeBron James says NOW he backs the Cleveland Indians (58)
MSNBC Amusing Cleveland Indians pitcher Paul Byrd doesn't even get respect from his own son. "'Dad, if you were any good, the Yankees would have traded for you" (33)
ESPN Obvious "If you look at the proportion of airtime devoted to reporting fact versus delivering opinion on ESPN, it is clear that the main function of sports news is to serve as the molehill on which mountains of opinion are built" (149)
Yahoo Interesting Heat forces top seed Jankovic to withdraw from Bangkok Open tennis tournament. No word on how her parents are doing (10)
(Some Guy) Interesting Tough call - the 10 homeliest NFL cheerleaders (293)
(SceneDaily) Sad Former NASCAR Nextel Cup champion Dale Jarrett expected to run the first six races of 2008, then retire. Assuming that he can qualify for them, that is (17)
Sports by Brooks Cool Eagles likely to headline 2008 Super Bowl halftime after talks with Garth Brooks break down (117)
Detroit News Stupid Red Wings fans are waiting for somebody, anybody else to fill up their arena. Hockeytown, indeed (63)
Yahoo Amusing #6 overall pick Yi Jianlian, after finally accepting a deal to play for the Milwaukee Bucks, scores a whopping three points in his debut and fouls out shortly after the conclusion of the National Anthem (45)
BBC Amusing After their shocking exit from Rugby World Cup, All Blacks team return home with quiet dignity and... just kidding, Doug Howlett arrested for criminal damage at a Heathrow hotel (9)
(Some Red Raider) Amusing Texas Tech students sell T-shirts featuring Aggie collie mascot getting “Vicked.” T-Shirt Hell kicking themselves for not coming up with it first. With pic of shirt, of course (63)
USA Today Hero Cleveland Browns WR Braylon Edwards pledges $1,000,000 to help 100 underprivileged kids go to college (53)
ESPN Spiffy Carolina Panthers dig up Vinny Testaverde, sign him to backup David Carr (29)
(Some Habs Fan) Spiffy Montreal Canadiens start rookie goalie in NHL’s oldest arena, Pittsburgh’s Igloo. In other news, Canadian fans sure to blame Gary Bettman for the fact that the NHL's oldest arena is Pittsburgh’s Igloo (22)
ESPN Interesting Winless St. Louis Rams announce decision to retain head coach Scott Linehan at least until he has guided them to the #1 overall pick in the 2008 draft (12)
NYPost Interesting After a three decade road trip, the Harlem Globetrotters finally play a game in Harlem (10)
(Some Guy) Followup Unfortunately a story about Barry Bonds drinking elk semen isn't true. But damn was it funny (31)
Chicago Sun-Times Asinine Forget about new Cubs owners wanting to sign A-Rod. The Chicago Tribune doesn't even have official bidding documents prepared, so the Cubs won't be sold until at least Opening Day of 2008 (12)
CNN Dumbass Maple Laffs give up 7 more points Tuesday than the Pittsburgh Steelers did on Sunday. 40 years and counting (22)
Yahoo Dumbass Cincinnati continues to lead the league in suspended players, with CB Johnathan Joseph becoming the third Bengal to earn one this season (10)
Local6 Amusing LSU fans get hold of Florida Gator QB's cell phone number -- flood of "you suck" taunts and threats ensue (16)
(PR Inside) Cool Driving #82 (his age), Paul Newman wins the American GT Challenge at Lime Rock and will be doing donuts on your lawn if you don't get off his (11)
BBC Asinine Like drunken uncles at weddings, millionaire footballers fail to deliver on their promises (4)
Time Interesting Two new pro football leagues preparing to fail in 2008 (26)
(Speed) Cool Alex Zanardi, who lost both legs in a racing crash in 2001, will compete in this years N.Y. Marathon using a handbike (19)
NYPost Hero Both Rudy Giuliani and Mike Bloomberg support keeping Torre as manager (50)
ESPN Spiffy Phillies manager Charlie Manuel rewarded with a two year extension for his EPIC FAIL in the NLDS (29)
Telegraph Amusing English rugby players adopt "The Gambler" as their theme song, and that makes Kenny Rogers happy (5)

Tue October 09, 2007
ESPN Followup Arbiter rules in favor the Falcons to recover nearly $20 million in bonus money from Michael Vick (30)
AZCentral Stupid Arizona Diamondbacks waiting for Rockies fans to fill their stadium (39)
ESPN Followup Matt Leinart officially put out to stud. Cardinals sign Tim Rattay to back up Kurt Warner (29)
ESPN PSA The Baconator is now #2 on your Super Value Meal menu (41)
ESPN Spiffy Scott Boras thinks any team that were to sign A-Rod would be guaranteed anywhere from $500 million to $1 billion dollars in additional revenue if he were to stick around to chase the all-time homerun/hits record by age 45 (82)
Sports by Brooks Strange Not News: Road rage incident on Penn State campus. News: Driver cuts off car, pins it to curb and screams obscenities. Fark: The accused? 80-year-old Penn St. football coach Joe Paterno (75)
Rocky Mountain News Spiffy Paul Stastny gets the top star for the first week of NHL play with 4 goals, 4 assists. Malkin, who? (51)
(Hardball Times) Followup Goats of the Yankees-Indians series. Derek Jeter arm pumps his average all the way up to .176 (33)
(Buffalo News) Obvious With so many teams in need of a QB, the Buffalo Bills should trade JP Losman while he still has any trade value at all (28)
CBS New York Followup Just in time for the Yankees 2007 elimination round, repairs at the building Cory Lidle crashed his plane into after the Yankees were eliminated in 2006 are almost complete (7)
(Some Cheesehead) Cool Having solved all minor problems like immigration, terrorism and global warming, the U.S. House moves on a resolution honoring Brett Favre's facial hair stubble (112)
Denver Post Amusing Red Sox-Yankees it ain't, but the Rockies and Diamondbacks could have their own little cute rivalry (25)
ESPN Amusing Week 6 NFL Power Rankings. Romo does his best Grossman impersonation and stays at 3 (104)
(Fan Nation) Unlikely Yankees want A-Rod back (53)
ESPN Scary On October 4th, ESPN's "Madden Simulator" predicted a 26-24 victory for the Cowboys, with the Cowboys winning with a FG late in the game (23)
(Awful Announcing) Amusing Yankees radio announcer Suzyn Waldman cries on-air following loss (245)
Yahoo Dumbass Roberto Madrazo, who lost in Mexico's presidential election last year, has now taken up cheating to win marathons (26)
ESPN Sad The price of being #1 in the country: Record number of fans bought counterfeit tickets for LSU-Florida game last Saturday (16)
Boston Herald Amusing Kevin Garnett doesn't even really remember what's-their-names (11)
ESPN Cool Tigers decide its worth $13 million extra to keep their Pudge for 2008 (26)
ESPN Interesting Top 20 tennis player Andy Murray thinks matches on the ATP Tour are being fixed (10)
Yahoo Silly Indians massacre Yankees, Cowboys shoot Buffalo. Sports news, or telegram from 1875? (71)
ESPN Obvious USC's Booty hurts (36)
SeattlePI Sad John Henry euthanized following Red Sox sweep (21)
ESPN Followup Miami Dolphins QB Trent Green suffered a career-threatening, grade three concussion (50)
CNN Obvious Nebraska athletic director gives Bill Callahan the kiss of DEATH (23)
(NY Daily News) Unlikely Tony La Russa to lead Yankees to first round playoff exit in 2008? (48)
ESPN Sappy Mack Strong, one of the good guys in football, forced to end 15-year career. And he's happy to do it (27)
(Some Guy) Interesting Nature Boy Ric Flair sues car dealer for using his catch phrases, Whooo (32)
ESPN Interesting Texas's WR Limas Sweed out for the season. It's cool though, they still have Colt McCoy (19)
ESPN Dumbass Tony Romo pulls a Rex Grossman but the Cowboys still find a way to win over Bills (164)

Mon October 08, 2007
ESPN Obvious The Yankees are the new Atlanta Braves, Indians advance onto the ALCS to face the Red Sox (247)
ESPN Unlikely Mark Cuban claims he'll be sitting in the bleachers everyday if he buys the Cubs. I believe (32)
( Interesting Which is more newsworthy? The fact that Wayne Gretzky is having a garage sale, or that it's also a wine tasting? (15)
ESPN Followup Marion Jones hands over her five Olympic medals and dignity (43)
Chicago Tribune Followup Obvious Tip of the Day: Before running a marathon, go to the damn doctor and make sure you don't have a heart condition (9)
CBS News Cool Terry "Tank" Johnson's eight-game suspension may be reduced to six. How 'bout them Cowboys? (508)
ESPN Obvious Atlanta Falcons opt to keep riding the Joey Harrington train to the No. 1 pick in the 2008 draft (41)
ESPN Obvious Roger Clemens removed from the playoff roster due to... *shakes magic 8 ball*... hamstring injury (16)
ESPN Unlikely Not since Kim Jong-Il's miraculous 38-under in his first ever round of golf has there been a golf story as unbelievable as this woman who claims to have hit 16 holes-in-one in a six month period (27)
ESPN Spiffy Hey bartender, Jobu needs a refill. Indians vs Yankees, Game Four discussion (1300)
FanHouse Unlikely Oakland Raiders climb atop AFC West as a result of not playing. It seems Randy Moss was just a little ahead of his time (29)
MSNBC Obvious Wang needs to come up big tonight (51)
(Some Guy) Amusing Carolina Panthers QB Jake Delhomme faces season-ending surgery and backup David Carr is questionable with a back injury. It is a good time to be Koy Detmer, Aaron Brooks, Drew Bledsoe or Vinny Testaverde right about now (71)
ESPN Obvious Matt Leinart out indefinitely after breaking collarbone in win against the Rams, will spend most of the time impregnating hot chicks instead of rehabbing (28)
ESPN Spiffy Bruce Bowen's elbows get a two-year extension with the Spurs (24)
Chicago Sun-Times Weird Fans attempt to reverse the supposed billy goat curse on the Cubs by hanging a skinned goat from Harry Caray's statue. Fail (pic) (27)
ESPN Spiffy Virginia Tech scores on a interception return for a TD, a punt return for a TD and a kickoff return for a TD. Offense? We don't need no stinkin' offense. With video goodness (20)
( Sad Toronto Maple Leafs forward Jason Blake diagnosed with rare form of leukemia (23)
BBC Followup UEFA opens discipline hearing against AC Milan and its incredible flopping goalkeeper Dida (41)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Travis "No Class" Johnson taunts Trent "Ouch My Head" Green after knocking him unconscious on the play (116)
Fox News Stupid Sportswriter compares The Baconator to the Big Bacon Classic based on last night's games; doesn't mention Clemens is four years older than Curt, at 45. If Schill isn't 600 pounds and covered in bacon grease at 45, it'll be a miracle (84)
Sports by Brooks Interesting Iowa coach goes Gundy after Penn State loss (7)
(Some Guy) Florida Towing owner involved in Florida safety Tony Joiner’s burglary case says he received over 200 threatening phone calls from irate Gator fans. "I think I would be covered in 10 feet of concrete right now if it had been Tebow" (32) Obvious Edmonton Oilers sign Kevin Lowe as manager-for-life. Edmonton fans replace plans to take day off for Stanley Cup parade with frenzy of "Mathematical Elimination Fever" in late March (11)
CBS News Interesting Brett Favre ties George Blanda's interception record at 277 career picks. Of course, nobody says a word about it (89)
Canoe Amusing Top 10 TV sports play-by-play announcers. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ARGUMENTS? (113)
Yahoo Interesting Yankees win, Torre's job safe for another day (145)

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