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Sun August 12, 2007
Toronto Star Obvious Movement grows to ban increasingly-high tech metal bats in baseball. "This is the kind of technology you ought to be throwing at bin Laden, not some baseball pitcher" (8)
(Some Guy) Obvious 13 (22)
CNN Sad Stop me if you heard this one before: Wayne "Squarehead" Rooney fractures his foot in Man U's opening match in the 'Prem (21)
Yahoo Spiffy Yankees sweep three games from AL Central-leading Indians by a combined score of 22-6. Meanwhile in Baltimore, Eric Gagne blows another game for the Red Sox (182)
ESPN Cool Arsenal, Chelsea, and Man U are the topic for the official Sunday English Premiership discussion forum (40)
(Some Road Warrior) Cool This concept of making right turns intrigues me. Centurion Boats at the Glen discussion thread (198)
AJC Asinine Fights break out at GA Tech scrimmage after players realize they attend GA Tech and have a bug as a mascot (29)
BBC Obvious France beats England in Rugby Union World Cup warmup. English fans shocked because the country traditionally does so well at international sporting events (10)
Excite Amusing Eagles fans visit Cowboys training camp just to boo. Philly may not have the best teams, but you gotta love the fans (45)
(Some Guy) Misc China opts out of deaf swimming event in Taiwan. Taiwanese officials say this is the first they've heard of it (6)
WPXI Silly Steelers fans petition for a less wimpy name for their new mascot (49)

Sat August 11, 2007
MSNBC Followup A magical day in St. Louis as Rick "Wild Thing" Ankiel blasts two more homers in his second game back in the bigs (39)
Yahoo Amusing Sergio Garcia follows collapse at British Open with DQ at PGA Championship (31)
Houston Chronicle Interesting People often like to use ridiculous analogies to describe really long home runs, but it turns out that the ball Albert Pujols hit of Brad Lidge in the 2005 NLCS really did get blasted into outer space (31)
( Spiffy Official Bundesliga Week 1 thread. Will Stuttgart defend the title? Can FC Schalke break their 50-year title drought? What about Bayern Munich? (22)
Yahoo Amusing News: American pitcher first to ever flunk drug test in Japanese baseball history. Fark: He flunked for taking a hair growth pill (5)
BBC Cool OK, soccer haters, it's the day you've been dreading -- Official Premier League Matchday 1 Discussion Thread (141)
ESPN Dumbass Good news for the five San Diego Padres fans out there, as their team's management has proven itself stupid enough to claim Kei Igawa off waivers (105)
ESPN Obvious Jeremy Irons pulls a Ki-Jana Carter and tears his ACL before playing a single game. Suck it, Bengals (37)
Boston Globe Stupid Reselling a ticket at a higher price can land you in the clink, but you can charge $4 for water to drink (17)

Fri August 10, 2007
Yahoo Interesting So, Red Sox Nation, are you still glad you guys picked up Gagne instead of Jermaine Dye? (64)
ESPN Obvious To absolutely no ones surprise, Tiger Woods takes the lead at the PGA Championship (28)
The Tennessean Followup Tennessee Titans get restraining order to prevent PacMan from wrestling (24)
ESPN Cool ESPN MLB Power Rankings for August 10 (97)
ESPN Unlikely Rafa Benitez expects 60 goals this season. Just from his strikers (24)
CNN Cool Hank Aaron was getting his sleep on when Bonds jacked Seven Nickel Six. Classic. How did THAT taste, Barr-oid? Hank FREAKING Aaron. Dude was in the rack when Bonds went yard. Classic. Epic. Out (102)
Sports by Brooks Amusing Tony Romo bugged by cockroach, sideline reporter bugged by producer - all in the same interview (26)
(Some Guy) Sad Tour de France winner denies involvement in doping. No, this is not a repeat from a year ago (19)
(Some Guy) Obvious Football sensation David Beckham takes to the pitch in front of a cheering crowd of 47,000 in the 72nd minute of play. His wife overheard saying that what she wants, what she really really wants is 1/10 of that attendence at her next show (61)
Minneapolis Star Tribune Amusing Cigarettes and diet soda help John Daly shoot a 67 (28)
Canoe Strange Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There's no crying in Sumo (70)
ESPN Interesting Hank Aaron: "I feel tremendously relieved. I'm so glad this is done with, and now I can just go my own way" (24)
ESPN Followup A magical night in St. Louis as Rick "Wild Thing" Ankiel blasts a 3-run homer in his first game back in the bigs (49)
CNN Dumbass Adam "Pacman" Jones wants everyone to know he's only been actually arrested twice, not six times like his police record says. Oh, everything's fine then (16)

Thu August 09, 2007
(Fox Sports) Stupid Roger Clemens gets 5-game suspension for hitting Alex Rios. Pitcher who attempted to kneecap and injured Alex Rodriguez? He's just fine, thank you, zero games for him (275)
Yahoo Obvious Mets lose another series to the Braves. I still believe (49)
(MLB) Spiffy Rick Vaughn back in the majors, will start in left field for the Cardinals tonight (42)
CNN Stupid SI lists the top 10 defenders under the age of 25, born before Labor Day and have dads named Phil (44)
Yahoo Cool PGA Championship field is beginning to be pwned by Tiger Woods (48)
The Onion Spiffy Bonds presented his helmet, gloves and bat to the Baseball Hall of Fame, where they will be enshrined forever, allowing fathers and sons to come and stare at them glumly as they bear mute witness to baseball's diminished glory (44)
ESPN Followup Avoiding the obvious "Wang/Pounded" joke, this is what happens when the Yankees run into good pitching (173)
CNN Interesting Interesting survey done by ESPN, in which they ask questions of one player from each of the 119 1-A teams (35)
ESPN Sad Once-mighty Leeds United to start their first year of third-tier football with a 15-point deduction (29)
AP Amusing Brown's stadium ready for the new season, passes flush test. No word on second string yet (11)
ESPN Followup For all the insults directed towards Jim Harbaugh last week, nobody said he wasn't right about his alma mater and the numbers back Harbaugh up (34)
Canoe Followup Mets fan could face big tax bill for snagging Bonds' home-run ball (44)
( Obvious "The Michigan Wolverines sort of remind me of my Tennessee Vols.... they find ways to have great seasons yet still leave all of their fans feeling unfulfilled. Basically UT and UM are to college football what dry humping is to sex" (44)
MSNBC Cool While everyone was talking about the Yankees and the Red Sox, the Seattle Mariners were busy capturing the lead in the AL Wild Card race by .001 (69)
Yahoo Cool "The MLS does not need to Americanize the most popular sport in the world. It should do away with the contrived conference system and change to an all-in league with 14 teams." Preach on, preacher (105)
MSNBC Stupid Chipper Jones says A-Rod will face "Barry Bonds-like scrutiny" as he approaches the home run record, all on the word of Jose Canseco (38)

Wed August 08, 2007
ESPN Cool Okay, enough about Barry Bonds. Here's nine guys giving baseball a good name (81)
(Sports Review) Interesting ARod playing for the St. Louis Cardinals? It's more likely than you think (47)
IndyStar Cool 42-year old Reggie Miller mulling a return to the NBA, and the Celtics at that. Evidently, his side career as a stunt double for DS9's Quark wasn't paying so well (36)
MSNBC Stupid MSNBC's website reports that Entertainment Tonight's website reports that Kobe Bryant may have denied a report on KCBS's website that he was about to get divorced. Stay tuned to MSNBC for more hard-hitting, fact-based news (5)
CNN Followup Bonds, the current record holder for most home runs*, is congratulated by Bush, who won the 2000 election* (59)
(MLB) Spiffy Not news: pitcher gets hit in calf by line drive. News: stays in game, pitches six more innings. Fark: x-rays later reveal he fractured his leg (18)
ESPN Obvious Even some ESPN employees complained about "Who's now?" (35)
(Fox Sports) Cool The San Diego Diet: How the Padres plan to lose 240 pounds of unsightly fat (25)
(Post-Gazette) Silly Steelers to announce name of first mascot in franchise history. Take a guess at what they'll name it (90)
ESPN Cool Official NHL discussion thread -- 52 days till hockey (98)
Denver Post Strange Goofy game between Rockies and Brewers includes a pitcher possibly getting picked off on purpose (26)
CNN Amusing Eric Mangini's insistence on blasting Mozart during Jets training camp has driven 25-year-old RB Cedric Houston to early retirement (19)
Boston Globe Amusing The Yankees have cut the AL East division lead to five, and the Boston Globe is already second-guessing the decision to get Eric Gagne at the deadline (284)
CNN Spiffy Mariner Moose acquitted of attempted cereal killing (102)
Sports by Brooks Interesting Peking Ducks? University of Oregon wants to play football game in China (11)
(Sportsline) Unlikely Jake Peavy has pitched 19 scoreless innings, leaving him only 41 shy of Hershiser. Unbreakable sports records argument starts at the right (88)
( Obvious Phil Mickelson doesn't need to use the heat as an excuse -- he already has one prepared for his inevitable choke at this weekend's PGA championship (10)
(Sporting News) Dumbass Bonds vows to keep hitting homeruns until he beats the Japanese league record (link fixed) (41)
AJC Followup SCLC to Vick: "Never mind." (25)
Yahoo Cool Cambodia and Vietnam to build cross-border golf course. Man, this is better than Disneyland (18)
WNBC Amusing Human nature at its best is caught on camera in the battle for Bonds’ 756th homerun ball (43)
YouTube Strange Henry Aaron's congratulations message looks like a terrorist hostage video (36)
ESPN Stupid Nancy Pelosi congratules the Italians on number 756... wait what? (35)
Yahoo Interesting Robby Gordon is giving Marcos Ambrose, the guy he wrecked last week, the opportunity to race in Nextel Cup race at Watkins Glen. No word on when Gordon plans to wreck him during this race (16)
(Stars and Stripes) Unlikely Tough Guy organizer Willy Mouse says Americans shouldn't even try event's challenges. "Don’t bother to come. You can’t compare to the English" (23)
The Sun Sad Proving that England is dead as a soccer nation, nearly 60 per cent of players starting in the Premiership this Saturday are foreign-born. Among the four teams that actually have a chance of winning, the percentage rises to 70 (48)
Newsday Cool Yankees cut lead down to five games in the AL East. Schilling so nervous he hasn't eaten for 15 minutes (125)
(MLB) Amusing News: Benches clear in Toronto. Follow-Up: Benches cleared again within 10 minutes. Sappy: A-Rod gets c-blocked on both attempts. Hooray for the tag trifecta (64)
Yahoo News Bonds hits #756. It happened on a Tuesday, just like 9/11 (821)

Tue August 07, 2007
ESPN Interesting Temperatures in Tulsa for the PGA Championship expected to be well above 100 all four days. Phil Mickelson delighted to have his excuse for missing the cut ready in advance (14)
BBC Amusing Soccer player from Reading injured while stretching in bed (w/pic of player's apparent reaction) (10)
NYPost Interesting Dan Patrick may go to NBC and may anchor Olympics coverage from Beijing (7)
(Some Guy) Amusing FA to probe Brown butt (8)
Sports by Brooks Sad The legend that is Eldrick "Tiger" Woods died over 10 years ago (10)
(Some Cubbie) Spiffy Fark the vote: Help 81-year-old Elinore T. win a chance to sing at Cubs game (73)
(Some Guy) PSA If you are a first-year NCAA football coach, a pretty good way to alienate the team is to say two of your players "are kind of like 'butt buddies.'" Yes, this rule applies to you, Miami Hurricanes (12)
STLToday Sad Jim Edmonds is open for a trade from the Cardinals. Anyone want him? Anyone? Hello? (24)
LA Times Interesting Boston Red Sox relief pitcher Eric Gagne's 9.00 ERA might not be the only thing artificially inflated about him (128)
ESPN Stupid "A hundred-million-dollar black man? They can't stand it." Michael Vick, the victim (78)
ESPN Interesting Tuesday Morning Quarterback returns with a fact-filled analysis of the NFLPA's efforts to increase older retired players' pensions and proves that Ditka's as big a blowhard as ever (11)
Yahoo Dumbass O.J. Simpson lends his name and likeness to a video football game, which will place him on a fictional team called The Assassins, complete with knife-wielding mascot. Bonus: He won't see one thin dime from it (33)
(Some Pigskinner) Cool Courageous and heart-felt moment as Brady Quinn agrees to a five-year deal in Cleveland (22)
Deadspin Unlikely Barry Bonds' arms haven't grown in 15 years. Stick THAT up your asterisk (58)
ESPN Stupid Latest ESPN Power Rankings. Bonus stupid: Four of the top eight teams aren't even leading their divisions. You know where the arguments start (52)
(VFTB) Interesting MLB waiver wire trades explained (10)
ESPN Cool D-Backs sign Eric Byrnes to three-year, $30-million deal. Suck it, natural athletes (68)
Boston Globe Amusing The Red Sox owners have way too much time on their hands (33)
Sports by Brooks Obvious San Diego Padres announcer has inadvertent newsflash for TV viewers: "St. Louis is hotter than sh-t" (140)
Denver Post Stupid Peter Forsberg is skating again, Detroit Red Wings think he'd fit well in their training room (35)
Denver Post Spiffy Despite being the Colorado Rockies, the Colorado Rockies aren't dead yet (19)
ESPN Cool Tony Stewart gains another whipping boy... errr teammate Kyle Busch signs onto drive the No. 18 Chevy in 2008 for Gibbs (17)
Sports by Brooks Interesting Kobe Bryant spotted in Vegas looking for the Bare facts (5)
Detroit News Interesting A look at the next generation of Michigan Wolverines to bitterly disappoint their fans by choking in any game that matters. Michigan Fan™ responds by saying "Wait until the next generation" (75)
Detroit News Stupid Michigan football fans pay $2500 for UM fantasy football experience. "There is nothing like getting yelled at by a Michigan football coach." (29)
SeattlePI Stupid Hall of Fame quarterback Warren Moon takes first step in comeback with Cincinnati Bengals (21)
ESPN Cool The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim order up one Baconator, well done (123) Cool Beer tap fails on special train carrying German soccer fans to important game, so national railway halts train for 25 minutes and has replacement part delivered by cab so as not to "endanger the good mood" of passengers (34)

Mon August 06, 2007
Sports by Brooks Cool ESPN refugees Dan Patrick and Michael Irvin may team up for radio show (23)
CNN Interesting O'Neal says he wants to play with Kobe and the Lakers (23)
CNN Dumbass Terrell Owens to have MRI for stiff back keeping him out of training camp. Obvious tag is appropriate given T.O.'s history, but Dumbass tag used is mandatory for any story about T.O. (32)
(Agent Bedhead) Asinine David Beckham making 100,000 quid a week to sit on the bench. Some imports just need to be stopped at the docks (29)
Yahoo Interesting The New York Yankees, 9 1/2 games out of the wild card less than a month ago, just caught the Detroit Tigers in the wild card race (168)
ESPN Obvious Steve Spurrier threatens to quit unless South Carolina allows students who can't even spell C-I-T-R-U-S to enroll (27)
ESPN Sad Yankees designate Mike Myers for assignment, Dr. Loomis heartbroken (23)
ESPN Amusing In light of the NBA referee betting on games, MLB asks umpires to submit background checks. Umpires to MLB: suck it (13)
ESPN Obvious Kenny Rogers says his pitching elbow is still sore and can't help the freefalling Detroit Tigers this week. "Sore elbow" must be code for "can't find my lost tub of pine tar" (20)
MSNBC Cool David Beckham drives a stake between already fragile relationship between Derek Jeter and A-Rod by meeting Yankees and Blue Jays before Monday's game (14)
CNN Obvious A sports blogger gives you the play-by-play description of how he finally realized what almost everyone else knows: Joe Morgan sucks (52)
( Cool Anaheim crippled by overnight bacon shortage. Details at 10:05 EST (81)
ESPN Obvious Houston Rockets guard Rafer Alston is the latest athlete arrested for being drunk and stupid (9)
Toronto Star Obvious "It is only now becoming clear how damaged a product Major League Soccer was delivered in July. If David Beckham were a horse, they would have shot him by now" (57)
Sports by Brooks Stupid Kevin James names his kid after Shea Stadium. Tom Brady awaiting birth of Gillette Moynahan (26)
(Postcards) Scary Kevin Garnett trade linked to bridge collapse (9)
ESPN Obvious Miquel Tejada and Mike Piazza put on waivers (27)
The Tennessean Dumbass The Titans asked Pacman not to start a pro wrestling career. You can see him wrestle on a pay-per-view special that is on the same day as the Titans first game (20)
ESPN Misc Steelers beat Saints in HOF game. Roethlisberger completed two of three, then took his helmet off and ran headfirst into a wall shouting "I FEEL SO FREE" (77)
(WCBS Newsradio 880) Amusing Someone had to catch A-Rod's 500th homerun ball. Now 29-year-old Walter Kowalczyk has a huge decision to make (25)
ESPN Obvious Rory Sabbatini claims Tiger to be "as beatable as ever" and got his chance to prove it on Sunday. So Tiger spots him eight shots, whoops up on him anyway (19)
Yahoo Amusing Snobby writer says NASCAR looked like "The Jerry Springer Show" Saturday, follows with big words NASCAR fans have never seen before (20)
CBS News Spiffy Meet the 33-year-old plumber that caught Barry Bonds’ 755* home run ball (29)
ESPN Scary Ashley Judd's husband survives horrifying 215 mph airborne multi flip crash today at Michigan. Film at 11 (24)

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