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Fri July 03, 2009

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
(CTV)		Hockey Canada unveils it's Olympic Team camp invites. Some names left off the list? Marc Savard, Chris Osgood, Jason Spezza, Brad Richards and Steven Stamkos. If you think that's surprising, you should see who DID get invited (ctvolympics.ca)	(48)
		Roger Federer runs right through contender, reaches for major record versus Roddick (sports.yahoo.com)	(18)
		Kobe is no fan of L.A.'s mayor: "I don't like the a**hole" (sportsbybrooks.com)	(25)
		"This list of baseball players on steroids from 2003 appears on only one obscure blog no one's ever heard of, and I'm certain it's 100% fake. I'll put it on CBS Sports' website anyhow" (cbssports.com)	(49)
		The first 25 nominees for the NASCAR Hall Of Fame have been announced (nascar.com)	(60)
		Not news: baseball game delayed. Fark: by bees (mlb.mlb.com)	(64)

Thu July 02, 2009

	The Ron Artest Interactive Fan Experience is coming to Los Angeles (latimes.com)	(120)
	Shaq brings embarrassing photo of Cavs GM Danny Ferry to press conference in Cleveland, proving he already has leverage for an extension next summer (sportingnews.com)	(21)
(Some Guy)	Defending LPGA Jamie Farr champ Paula Creamer misses her tee time. Hundreds of "golf fans" in Toledo now trying to find something else to do with their weekend (toledoonthemove.com)	(22)
	BCS chairman stands on roof and shouts "You're with us or you're against us" ... metaphorically speaking (sportingnews.com)	(38)
	Normal: Top 10 relief pitchers of all time. Bonus: Half of the list should also be in a Top 10 list for best porn 'staches (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(53)
	FOX News explains how Yankees players get sick: showering with other men (sportingnews.com)	(11)
	Former Yankee Jim Leyritz charged with battery. First steroids in baseball, now there were robots too? (sports.espn.go.com)	(25)
	Celtics after Rasheed Wallace and Grant Hill, trying to reunite the 2001 NBA All Star team (sports.yahoo.com)	(47)
	Jessica Simpson embarrassed herself yet again with her screechy rendition of the National Anthem as Tiger Woods and Tony Romo prepared to golf. No word on how it affected their game (bittenandbound.com)	(38)
	CFL receiver in trouble after celebrating touchdown by pretending to be a dead Michael Jackson. "I made the mistake of telling him that once he got to the end zone I didn't care what he did," says coach (cbc.ca)	(190)
	Vanderbilt football signee thinks he signed with (insert any other SEC school here); faces felony burglary charge (myespn.go.com)	(25)
	Havlat signs mega-contract with the Minnesota Wild's IR (sports.espn.go.com)	(30)
	Red Sox owner John Henry, 60, marries a woman half his age (Win) -- and then whisks her off on an African honeymoon to get a first-hand look at the AIDS crisis (Fail) (boston.com)	(38)
	Pittsburgh Pirates SS Jack Wilson apologizes for criticizing the doofuses who have run the franchise into the ground with retarded transactions (usatoday.com)	(38)
	Judge lifts Jeremy Mayfield's suspension, clearing the way for him to fail to qualify for this weekend's race at Daytona (sports.yahoo.com)	(33)
	Cubs fan vows to eat only 500 calories until the team wins 5 in a row. Like most Windy City residents he has fat reserves to last through next season (upi.com)	(32)
	Five time marathon winner touts the benefits of a Waffle House breakfast, says it will certainly give you the runs (ajc.com)	(47)
	Iran crushed by the United States. Suspiciously, no Twitter coverage of the deadly-accurate U.S. shooting (startribune.com)	(34)
	NHL Free agency: Gaborik to Rangers, Havlat to Wild, Hossa to Blackhawks, Heatley to Oilers, maybe (tsn.ca)	(73)
(Golf.com)	Phil Mickelson shows off the coolest backwards chip shot you'll see today. (w video) (golf.com)	(46)
	Chicago finally beats NYC at something, winning first and second in worst MLB managers (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(72)

Wed July 01, 2009

	High-Tech swim suit not all it's cracked up to be (dailymail.co.uk)	(26)
	Stephen Colbert declares soccer the new American sport. You've been warned (colbertnation.com)	(329)
(Some Tweeker)	Mayfield cleared to race in the Coke Zero - Meth One 400 this weekend (thatsracin.com)	(39)
	Mets baseball exec quoted as saying they have no plans to trade away prospects, prefer to wait until all their injured players return, which coincidentally is the around the same time their fans' thoughts turn to football (stations.espn.go.com)	(41)
	Utah uncharacteristically unable to rid itself of Boozer (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(32)
	Since Tampa Bay Bucs' owner bought Man U., his American football team is cheapest in the NFL. Only so much loot to plunder (tampabay.com)	(11)
	Hip surgery now hip among pro-baseballers. Next up: Playing infield so they don't mess up the lawn (usatoday.com)	(5)
	Already in midseason form, Tony Romo loses in Washington (voices.washingtonpost.com)	(49)
	Wanting to better connect with his fans, NASCAR driver test positive for meth (sports.espn.go.com)	(33)
	Aramis Ramirez will return to the Cubs roster on Monday, injured by Thursday (chicagotribune.com)	(30)
	"These players can help us win today and for years to come." Says Pirates Manager of former Natinals AAA Outfielder and a 0-3, 7.71 ERA in 34 games, pitcher. Good luck (sports.espn.go.com)	(66)
	The US loss to Brazil on Sunday was seen by 3.9 million people on ESPN, the most-viewed non-World Cup game for the American team on the network (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(61)
	Jon Bon Jovi says the chances are 50/50 that the Arena Football League will collapse like a heavy metal hairdo without Aqua Net (fifthdown.blogs.nytimes.com)	(16)
	The NFL could allow coaches to do auction-style bidding for possession of the ball in overtime. Marty Mornhinweg immediately bids his own 1-yard line (sportingnews.com)	(77)
	Albert Pujols blasts homerun # 29 and 30. On pace to become first non-juiced player to pass Roger Maris' record of 61 (sports.espn.go.com)	(124)
	Scott Gomez traded to a Canadian team, ensuring he will never again hoist the Stanley Cup (reuters.com)	(23)
	Carl Spackler now uses motorcycles to run gophers off a PGA tournament course (620wtmj.com)	(6)
	NCAA Tournament selection committee ditches idiotic "final 12 games" as one of the criteria (sportingnews.com)	(24)
	NHL Free Agent Frenzy discussion thread. The Sedins are staying put, but what hockey city will Heatley crash into? (tsn.ca)	(358)
	For role in fatal car crash, Denver Nuggets shooting guard JR Smith sentenced to three stallworths of jail time, although he'll probably only serve one stallworth (sports.yahoo.com)	(18)
(The Herd's Word)	Seven game win streak? I think it's about time we crown the Rays World Series favorites (theherdsword.com)	(48)
	Red Sox take part in historic comeback victory. Over themselves, that is (mlb.mlb.com)	(79)
	Dany Heatley has 4 million reasons to give the Edmonton Oilers the middle finger (sports.espn.go.com)	(40)
	Yet another MLB team this week mistakenly thinks there are 3 outs. Bonus: this time the entire team actually makes it into the dugout (w/ vid) (mlb.mlb.com)	(25)
(Some Guy)	The first rule of goalkeeping: Don't throw the ball right to an opposing player (sportsrubbish.com)	(17)
	Carlos Beltran seeks doctor's opinion, is told he doesn't need surgery. Beltran seeks second opinion, is told he's ugly, too (sports.espn.go.com)	(14)
(Some Guy)	Ten questions to ponder as the Canadian Football League season kicks off, including 'Why are you waiting for that boring NFL to start?" (ottawacitizen.com)	(82)

Tue June 30, 2009

(OSG Sports)	Braves' Jeff Francoeur has lucky "turkey" underwear. It's undefeated at the ballpark. No word on win-loss record at home (onlinesportsguys.blogspot.com)	(9)
	Tony George resigns as CEO of Indianapolis Motor Speedway (indystar.com)	(38)
(Some Wazoo)	Apparently WSU has a few football players that are up to no good, newspaper prints Mad-Lib style article from now on (dailyevergreen.com)	(19)
	ManU spends $30 million of the $131 million Madrid is paying for Ronaldo by signing his replacement away from Wigan (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(21)
	Detroit Pistons firehead coach Michael Curry, Allen Iverson too "injured" for comment (sports.espn.go.com)	(49)
	Red Sox onwer John Henry celebrates wedding by giving out bobbleheads of himself & his new bride (sportsbybrooks.com)	(22)
	Lance Armstrong says that even though he feels he can win the Tour de France, at age 37 he is prepared to play a support role for teammate Alberto Contador. That takes ball (sports.espn.go.com)	(32)
	Phillies' Bastardo aches from ailing shoulder, lack of Father's Day celebration (sports.espn.go.com)	(21)
	SI discovers that athletic ability starts declining in a player's 30s. Except when it doesn't (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(26)
	After suspended driver Jeremy Mayfield filed court documents claiming he never took meth, NASCAR files documents claiming a second lab confirmed the failed tests (sports.yahoo.com)	(34)
	Boston Bruins can't make Kessel run (boston.com)	(106)
	Yao Ming's foot injury is so serious, he may miss all of next season and the rest of his career (sports.yahoo.com)	(54)
	Chris Evert tells fellow women's tennis players to shut the fark up already with the bizarre noises (msn.foxsports.com)	(102)
	Congrats to Jonathan Papelbon on tying the Red Sox career record for saves. He only has 368 until he catches up to Mariano Rivera (espn.go.com)	(84)
(Pro Football Talk)	Remembering Joe Delaney, an NFL player whose balls were as big as his heart (profootballtalk.com)	(25)

Mon June 29, 2009

	Former Phillies catcher Darren Daulton has done a lot of drugs. And he's not sorry. Not sorry at all (sportsbybrooks.com)	(27)
	You know, when they're not falling down and crying because a hair brushed their forearm, some of these guys can do some cool shiat (youtube.com)	(143)
	The Steelers could repeat: The QB and RB will be healthy, and they play the Bengals twice, as well as the Three Stooges of the NFL (Raiders, Chiefs and Lions) (fifthdown.blogs.nytimes.com)	(147)
	Cardinals' Khalil Greene out again due to anxiety relapse, has trouble dealing with the fact he's getting paid $6.5 million to play baseball. Hang in there neurotic slugger, you'll be hitting zolofty home runs in no time (stltoday.com)	(60)
	Division-leading Detroit Tigers summon sinister pitcher named Ni to strengthen their bullpen. Ni (freep.com)	(53)
	Former $55 million Dodger pitcher Darren Dreifort just had his 22nd surgery, including eight since his last game in 2004. Suck it, Pavano (latimes.com)	(16)
	Rubio so excited to join the Wolves, he misses introductory press conference (670thescore.stats.com)	(71)
	Raiders QB Jamarcus Russell exhorts his teammates to finish practice week strong. Then takes the last day off to spend the money he suckered Al Davis out of (fannation.com)	(48)
(Pro Football Talk)	Bad News: Terrell Owens is back on "The Superstars." Good News: His partner, the blazingly hot and foul-mouthed Joanna Krupa, is too (profootballtalk.com)	(19)
	Wimbledon gives best billing to the hot female tennis players, and somehow people are surprised by this (smh.com.au)	(50)
(The Herd's Word)	American soccer is like corn on the cob. It's great at the BBQ but when you go to the bathroom the next morning, you think "Why did I even bother?" (theherdsword.com)	(128)
	Lake Elsinore Storm beat the High Desert Mavericks in a 33-18 victory Not that impressive until you realize it's the score of a minor league baseball game (sports.yahoo.com)	(30)
(Some Guy)	ESPN announces their "All-Decade" NFL team, coach, and MVP. You don't need to click on the link, you know who it is. You don't like it, but you know who it is (myespn.go.com)	(162)
	Mariano Rivera gets 500th career save, plus first career RBI as K-Rod walks him with the bases loaded. Wait, what? (sports.yahoo.com)	(99)
	USA Soccer blows a 2-0 lead to lose 3-2 to Brazil. US players thankful they don't play for Colombia (soccernet.espn.go.com)	(241)

Sun June 28, 2009

	Joey Logano becomes the first teenager to win at the Sprint Cup level (nascar.com)	(33)
	Researchers determine what makes a great football player. That's football as in 'soccer', so weighing 380lbs and being able to lumber around for up to eight seconds before needing sideline oxygen did not figure (sciencedaily.com)	(166)
	Live at 2:00 pm ET: USA vs. Brazil in the finals of the FIFA NIT (usatoday.com)	(1030)
(Some Guy)	Dale Jr. to be replaced by Danica Patrick? Its more likely than you think (mikemulhern.net)	(64)
	Mets and Yankees season ticket holders are realizing they didn't think their cunning plan to make a fortune selling their seats in the secondary market all the way through (nytimes.com)	(75)
	As if it couldn't get any worse for Cubs' fans, Indians ship Mark DeRosa to the Cardinals for some minor league table scraps (sports.espn.go.com)	(38)
	Well, so much for a new American boxing star, Ortiz stopped in the sixth (sports.espn.go.com)	(26)

Sat June 27, 2009

	Lou Piniella apologizes to Milton Bradley for hurting his widdle feelings by calling him a bad name (sports.espn.go.com)	(31)
	Adam Dunn: "For every crucial at-bat I'll take late in a game, I'll always be facing the toughest lefty on the other team. That's why the strikeout rate is up." (sports.espn.go.com)	(52)
	Top Wimbledon seed defeated by low-ranking teenager, blames failure on the wet grass (stuff.co.nz)	(30)
(Some Guy)	Max Mosely, who was quitting but then staying, then planned to leave to appease FOTA, now may be staying, on today's episide of As The F1 Turns (en.f1-live.com)	(28)
	Broad Street just got a little bullier (sports.espn.go.com)	(51)
	Mr. April passes Mr. October on the all-time HR list in a 9-1 rout of the Mets (sports.espn.go.com)	(54)
	After finding a handful of change under his couch cushions, White Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf purchases NHL's Phoenix Coyotes (azcentral.com)	(64)
	Unlike, say, Ivan Lendl or Monica Seles, for whom its just metaphorical, Viktor Troicki is actually allergic to the grass he'll be playing on at Wimbledon (telegraph.co.uk)	(8)

Fri June 26, 2009

		Kansas City Royal pitcher Sidney Ponson tested positive for the stimulant and weight loss drug Phentermine. Ponson is currently 1-5 with a 7.27 ERA and weighs 250 lbs, so he really should ask for a refund (kansascity.com)	(15)
		For whomever had "June 26th" in the Milton Bradley Freaks Out Mid-Game And Leaves The Stadium Pool: please collect your winnings (blogs.chicagosports.chicagotribune.com)	(46)
		Dates and locations for all NFL summer training camps, for those football fans eagerly awaiting the new season. Plus you Browns fans (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)	(46)
		NHL Draft discussion thread. Will the Islanders play it safe (Hedman/Duchene), go for instant sex appeal (Tavares), or perhaps trade to Brian Burke for a truckload of garbage (sports.yahoo.com)	(295)
		Seattle judge gives A-OK for local businessman to erect strip club next door to Safeco Field. Conveniently for Mariners players, it includes a juice bar (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(21)
		Former Browns receiver suing team over his catching a staph infection while with the team. Braylon Edwards catches nothing. Again (baltimoresun.com)	(32)
		Lou Piniella hits back at critics who say he's lost his fire. And like the majority of Cubs who try to hit, he misses (chicagotribune.com)	(50)
		Proof certain athletes should be locked away from Twitter: Chad Ochocinco compares Michael Jackson's death to 9/11 tragedy (backporch.fanhouse.com)	(99)
		47 year old Chelios thinks he has one more year in him. This despite the fact that he was unable to record any points in 34 games last season (canada.com)	(41)