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(Headline T-Shirts are still available for archive links.)
Sun November 08, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(London Times) Dumbass Post-op tranny upset at the reaction to her headlining a play about Jesus as a post-op tranny. Guess she's doesn't have the balls to portray Mohammed  (timesonline.co.uk) (25)
(BBC) Interesting In 1971 the Nanny State rejected Sesame Street because of its dangerous ""authoritarian aims" in trying to change children's behaviour"  (news.bbc.co.uk) (59)
(Contact Music) Obvious Taylor Swift's boyfriend, Taylor Lautner, says he scared at the idea of Swift writing a song about him. Yeah, we'd be scared to; her lyrics are childish and read like emo for teenage country fans  (contactmusic.com) (89)
(Contact Music) Followup Britney Spears may marry her agent. This might work out for us, as I can't imagine a husband wanting his wife to cavort about-half naked in front of thousands of people  (contactmusic.com) (36)
(Contact Music) Unlikely Hilary Swank believes that rejection makes her stronger. Given how she looks, submitter's not surprised  (contactmusic.com) (57)
(New Zealand Herald) Amusing Paris Hilton upset billboard company used her picture with the word "vacant" written across it to advertise empty space  (nzherald.co.nz) (38)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Mickey Rourke: "I don't want to live with an actress again, no matter how they look." I think the feelings are mutual there, dude  (dailymail.co.uk) (13)
(People Magazine) Amusing Susan Boyle to appear on "Dancing with the Stars". What could possibly go wrong?  (feeds.people.com) (23)
(LA Times) Obvious Disney baffled that people aren't quite ready for Christmas or Jim Carrey for some damn reason or other  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (137)
(Guardian.com) Interesting Mathemeticians find formula for movie sequel profitibility. (Sucky movie)+(Bad writing)+(Bad Director)X(Special Effects)X(Explosions)-(curse words)-(blood)=Profit  (guardian.co.uk) (41)
(TV By The Numbers) Strange "The People's Court" brings back Judge Wapner this Friday to litigate special case in honor of his 90th birthday. In other news, someone still watches "The People's Court"  (tvbythenumbers.com) (38)
(thaindian.com) Strange Tom Cruise joined the proud ranks of the men who talk to doorknobs  (thaindian.com) (32)

Sat November 07, 2009
(Starpulse) Interesting For the first time in law enforcement history, police raid an apartment to get items FOR Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan  (starpulse.com) (10)
(Starpulse) Cool Elizabeth Mitchell was filming a movie for Halloween, so she convinced her neighbors to let her 5 year-old son trick-or-treat another night  (starpulse.com) (44)
(Paste Magazine) Fail The Cleveland Show, the painfully unfunny Family Guy spinoff, is hoping some celebrity casting will them. So, they've enlisted...Hall & Oates. Good luck getting that second season pickup  (pastemagazine.com) (108)
(io9) Unlikely Roland Emmerich's eight rules for ending the world  (io9.com) (56)
(Daily Mail) Strange "'Michael Jackson is furious he's not buried next to Marilyn Monroe', claims medium on live TV seance." The Daily Mail is there  (dailymail.co.uk) (29)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy In the "Old news is so exciting" file: a new article about pictures of Carrie Fisher and her stunt double sunbathing while wearing the slave bikini during filming of Return of the Jedi in 1983  (dailymail.co.uk) (165)
(Contact Music) Sad Toni Braxton's husband has ununbroke her heart  (contactmusic.com) (28)
(Yahoo) Silly M.I.A.: "I'm a shaaark"  (omg.yahoo.com) (88)

Fri November 06, 2009
(Telegraph) Interesting Verne Troyer is in a little trouble after getting short with his ex-girlfriend and sending her too mini abusive text messages  (telegraph.co.uk) (77)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Zooey Deschanel gets dolled up for MTV Europe Awards and performs a burlesque style routine  (dailymail.co.uk) (143)
(Some Kraken) Cool First look at the 'Clash of the Titans' movie posters  (filmofilia.com) (97)
(Contact Music) Cool John Mayer, Hugh Jackman are raising money for Mexican orphans by auctioning off meet and greets. So far, Jackman has raised thousands while Mayer has raised hundreds, as it's hard for unemployeed teens to scrape that much money together  (contactmusic.com) (22)
(Cinematical) Strange Justin Timberlake to bring the sexy back in Boo Boo while Dan Aykroyd will give us his best Yogi impersonation in upcoming "Yogi Bear" movie  (cinematical.com) (37)
(The Sun) Obvious Paul McCartney says what submitter has been saying for years: "The Beatles weren't that good"  (thesun.co.uk) (233)
(io9) Stupid Roland Emmerich says he was inspired to make Independence Day 2 by President Obama. Is there nothing we can't blame him for?  (io9.com) (84)
(Slate) Interesting The Travel Channel may be sold for $975 million, although it only has about 370,000 viewers in prime time. Why so expensive? Because those 370,000 are an advertiser's wet dream  (slate.com) (72)
(NJ.com) Cool If there was any debate as to the funniest show on TV this year, last night ended the speculation: Parks and Recreation has emerged in its second season as the best comedy on the air  (sepinwall.blogspot.com) (155)
(Spiegel) Amusing Germans relieved David Hasselhoff will attend Berlin celebration after all: "He cannot shoulder all the blame for the destruction of one country's reputation"  (spiegel.de) (12)
(Gawker) Sad Lindsay Lohan punched her mother in the face when she tried to get the doomed former hottie into rehab  (gawker.com) (53)
(Paste Magazine) Cool Sam Raimi to re-release "Evil Dead" in theaters: "Nothing punishes an audience like Evil Dead - especially on the big screen. I'm really glad it's back. People are gonna be hurt"  (pastemagazine.com) (78)
(Contact Music) Cool "Insolent Sex Party Tour 2009" kind of has a ring to it, doesn't it?  (contactmusic.com) (23)
(Contact Music) Interesting Kristen Bell is a fan of therapists, Sean Connery  (contactmusic.com) (82)
(Examiner) Interesting It's a little-known fact that Cliff Clavin is considering a run for the US Senate in 2012  (examiner.com) (123)
(Examiner) Cool Area man "thrilled" to hear that The Onion is coming to Comedy Central, prays for evasive Fark "greenlight" to help spread the word  (examiner.com) (45)
(Contact Music) Followup Paula Abdul is dating Arsenio Hall. This is a repeat from 1989  (contactmusic.com) (38)
(io9) Fail The ten dumbest evil geniuses of all time. List starts off with a crappy chracater that doesn't qualify as the "best" of anything, but it gets better  (io9.com) (161)

Thu November 05, 2009
(Google) Spiffy WQED studio renamed after Fred Rogers, and to celebrate, they reassembled and opened his neighborhood to the public for the weekend. Won't you be his neighbor?  (google.com) (57)
(io9) Cool Dinocroc vs. Supergator, produced by Roger Corman, starring David Carradine, what the hell else could you possibly need?  (io9.com) (30)
(Access Hollywood) Followup Penny Marshall has no brain tumor? You bet your buns  (accesshollywood.com) (26)
(Contact Music) Sad For his last trick, comedy magician Carl Ballantine disappears at 92  (contactmusic.com) (25)
(Some Guy) Amusing Okay, for the last time, saying that there is "absolutely no truth in the rumour that the last line in Anne Frank's diary reads: 'Today is my birthday. Dad bought me a drum kit'" is tasteless  (totallyjewish.com) (142)
(Contact Music) Followup Miley Cyrus says she does not want to be idolized by her young fans. However, she said nothing about being stalked by her old fans  (contactmusic.com) (61)
(Kansas City) Unlikely Willie Aames, fresh off two bankruptcies, wants to be your financial planner  (kansascity.com) (35)
(Some Guy) Sad Penny Marshall has brain tumor. Schlemeel, schlemazel, ah sheeesh, that sucks  (nationalenquirer.com) (54)
(CBR) Amusing Writer for GHOST RIDER 2 taking the CASINO ROYALE approach: "We're not rebooting, we're just assuming the audience didn't see the prior film." Safe assumption, sir  (comicbookresources.com) (79)
(I Heart Chaos) Stupid Just so that we can never speak of this again, here's your guide to all the dumbass toy and board game movies coming out in the next couple years  (iheartchaos.com) (54)
(FilmDrunk) Strange Nic Cage is broke because of yachts, private islands, castles, shrunken heads, pet octopi, dinosaur skulls, and cobra venom. Typical  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) (52)
(Wired) Cool This is the day I invented time travel  (wired.com) (59)
(Some Romulan Guy) Wheaton Wheaton was in the last Star Trek Movie, and no one knew until now  (scifiwire.com) (118)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Outraged parents group urges network affiliates of a network you've barely heard of until now, not to air an episode of show you never watched, that features its three hot teen stars engaging in a threesome  (news.yahoo.com) (339)
(Contact Music) Strange Verne Troyer is writing his memoirs, and...wait, he's Amish? What the hell?  (contactmusic.com) (41)
(NYPost) Dumbass You are Michael Lohan. Your drug-addicted daughter has called you, weeping and hysterical, to beg for help with her addiction. Do you: c) release a tape of the phone call to the media?  (nypost.com) (86)
(Some Guy) Hero Neil Gaiman: "It kind of feels like we're now finishing a vampire wave, because we're at the point where they're everywhere, it's probably time to go back underground for another 20 or 25 years."  (independent.ie) (132)

Wed November 04, 2009
(Yahoo) Sad Founder of San Diego Comic-Con, Sheldon Dorf, dies at 76. Rumored to return next summer in issue #77  T-Shirt  (news.yahoo.com) (42)
(Examiner) Video Newest "Sherlock Holmes" trailer conveys juuuust the right amount of homoeroticism between Holmes and Watson  (examiner.com) (101)
(Starpulse) Unlikely Ricki Lake: "I'm kind of a cougar." Rest of the world: "no, no you're not"  (starpulse.com) (97)
(Celebslam) Obvious Lindsay Lohan's exes get together to compare war stories, rashes  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (15)
(Contact Music) Followup Kate Hudson says she's not pregnant, she just gained weight after she stopped smoking. Besides, it's not like A-Rod could ever hit a moving target like that  (contactmusic.com) (14)
(TMZ) Dumbass Carrie Prejean getting nothing in a settlement? Yeah, there's a sex tape because of that  (tmz.com) (240)
(Contact Music) Dumbass Apparently, Frances Bean Cobain takes after her mother  (contactmusic.com) (116)
(Examiner) Cool This week, Sesame Street turns 38 years, 39 years, 40 years old. Ah, ah, ah  (examiner.com) (44)
(People Magazine) Silly According to Rob Pattinson, Kristen Stewart is a unique, special, delicate, perfect fragile flower of a friend who feels his pain and holds him when he cries  (people.com) (82)
(Entertainment Weekly) Cool EW's Top 25 Soundtracks since 1984 doesn't suck. Warning: Slideshow  (ew.com) (235)
(New Zealand Herald) Sad Flight of the Conchords to land soon  (nzherald.co.nz) (94)
(Contact Music) Obvious Nicole Kidman had been warned that marrying Tom Cruise would ruin her career; this can be evidenced by viewing The Others, Eyes Wide Shut, Australia, The Interpreter, and anything else she's done since 1990  (contactmusic.com) (213)
(The Courier) Amusing Pop star gets a presidential welcome in Scotland - is hit in the face with a shoe during his first song  (thecourier.co.uk) (41)
(LA Times) Interesting CBS orders more episodes of that Jenna Elfman sitcom you quickly flip past while waiting for better comedies to start  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (76)
(Some Guy) Cool You know what it takes to host the Oscars? It takes BRASS BALLS to host the...JESUS, he must really hate those cans  (joblo.com) (75)
(Contact Music) Interesting Truth behind Michael Jackson's 1993 molestation charges finally revealed: he was found urinating in public and there were kids around. How's that collective guilt feel, world?  (contactmusic.com) (144)
(io9) Silly Columnist dares ask the question: Are zombies America's Godzilla? No, I'd say not; most Godzilla movies were competently written  (io9.com) (93)

Tue November 03, 2009
(Some Cool Employer) Amusing 10 of the World's Greatest Jobs - your job isn't one of them. And as a side note, Jaime Rascone has the best job in the world  (oddee.com) (62)
(Google) Silly Kirstie Alley is set to star in reality series about her efforts to lose weight. Tentative title: The Kobayashi Shamu  T-Shirt  (google.com) (66)
(Celebslam) Dumbass Hugh Grant is the creepy drunk guy hitting on models half his age  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (97)
(Entertainment Weekly) Cool Twenty shiatty action films that you can't help but love. It starts with Con Air and takes off from there like a hairbird in flight  (ew.com) (286)
(Contact Music) Followup Kate Hudson says that she is sick of rumors she's engaged to Alex Rodriguez, as he can't commit to anything in the fall  (contactmusic.com) (38)
(People Magazine) Obvious Should Kate Winslet win an Oscar for the World's most litigious actress?  (people.com) (60)
(FilmDrunk) Stupid Disney's Prince of Persia reimagines ancient Persia as a land of spray-tanned white people with English accents  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) (165)
(New York Daily News) Strange Army reservist .... OUT  (nydailynews.com) (19)
(Reuters) Obvious Departing Doctor Who David Tennant cast as lead in new 'comedic legal drama' on NBC. Pale and opinionated Who fans huddled in basements everywhere shudder at the thought of another "Trial of a Timelord", self-indulgent headline  (uk.reuters.com) (77)
(London Times) Interesting Phase 1: Film epic movie about the life of Muhammed. Phase 3: Prophet?  (entertainment.timesonline.co.uk) (73)
(Yahoo) Interesting Bono from U2 says Rock and Roll is dying off, cites poor sales of last album as 'proof'. Fails to mention U2 hasn't made good album since 1987  (new.music.yahoo.com) (138)
(My Fox DC) Cool 60-year old man crowd surfs at Springsteen concert. Oh wait, it's just Bruce  (myfoxdc.com) (50)
(Yahoo) Hero After DSB goes under, Stephen Colbert picks up primary sponsorship of Olympic U.S. Speed Skating  (news.yahoo.com) (56)
(3 News New Zealand) Strange In an alternate universe, Metallica's Cliff Burton was replaced by Hulk Hogan. 'I would have quit wrestling in a heartbeat to be a bass player for Metallica'  (3news.co.nz) (70)
(The New York Times) Interesting Tivo, it turns out ,will not kill advertising on TV...we're just too lazy to fast forward thru adverts it seems  (nytimes.com) (53)

Mon November 02, 2009
(Yahoo) Obvious 30 Rock Bottom  (news.yahoo.com) (116)
(io9) Scary The Terminator franchise is up for sale, and Joss Whedon wants to buy it, probably so he can ruin it with his crappy writing  (io9.com) (125)
(TMZ) Weird Headline you never thought possible: US Army apologizes to Ryan Seacrest  (tmz.com) (21)
(SlashFilm) Stupid "24" to revive another actor presumed dead, because THEY'RE RUNNING OUT OF INTERESTING CHARACTERS (contains spoilers)  (slashfilm.com) (39)
(Contact Music) Obvious Artie Lange turned down $200,000 to participate in "Celebrity Rehab," claiming it exploits stars. Hey, first you're not really a celebrity and 200 grand buys a lot of smack, dude  (contactmusic.com) (41)
(Celebrity Gossip) Cool Jessica Alba dresses up as Dora the Explorer for Halloween, proving two things: A. You don't need to slut it up on Halloween to look good B. Dora looks hot  (celebrity-gossip.net) (81)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Griswold family reunion: Anthony Michael Hall and Chevy Chase to appear together for first time since "Vacation." Nothing to be proud of, Russ  (tvguidemagazine.com) (35)
(Starpulse) Interesting Andre Agassi is convinced he would have won more tennis matches if he wasn't so worried his wig would fall off on the court  (starpulse.com) (37)
(Celebslam) Cool 800+ pictures of what celebrities dressed up as over the weekend  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (108)
(USA Today) Wheaton "Battlestar Galactica"'s Katie Sackhoff opens up about Wheaton: "As a Star Trek fan growing up, I had such a crush on him"  (usatoday.com) (130)
(XKCD) Cool XKCD provides you with a perfect way to keep track of the LOTR trilogy  (xkcd.com) (201)
(Contact Music) Amusing Michael Caine "nearly got a hernia" from smoking weed. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG  (contactmusic.com) (32)
(3 News New Zealand) Strange If your hotel room's Gideon Bible is missing parts of Leviticus, you might just be sleeping in Gandalf's bed  (3news.co.nz) (596)

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