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Sun October 04, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Contact Music) Cool John Cleese premieres his one-man show in Norway, entitled "My Ex-Wife Is A Lousy Opportunistic Witch, And I Shall Verbally Eviscerate Her For The Next Two Hours"  (contactmusic.com) (61)
(Variety) Cool Tarantino wants to kill Bill again. No word from David Carradine  (variety.com) (114)
(Fashion site via ONTD) Fail Lindsay Lohan's debut as a fashion designer earns raves from the fashion world elite. Just kidding, they called it shiat and told her to go back to acting, where she did a better job  (community.livejournal.com) (85)
(Breitbart.com) Obvious Liberal Hollyweird has alienated the American people, are completely powerless to effect change, and their Godless, decadent films do nothing but lose money...that's why we must do everything in our power to stop them  (bighollywood.breitbart.com) (76)
(St. Petersburg Times) Amusing "Mystery Science Theater 3000" host Mike Nelson sits down with the St. Petersburg Times for an interview: "I'm most recognized at video stores because I'm the guy renting these really bad movies all the time"  (tampabay.com) (52)
(Variety) Cool New report indicates that so-called "reality TV" programming is on the decline. About goddamned time  (variety.com) (49)
(Coming Soon) Interesting They're coming to get you with 3D CGI effects, Barbra  (comingsoon.net) (22)
(Variety) Cool "Zombieland" takes the box office Friday, proving people really do love brainless entertainment  T-Shirt  (variety.com) (100)
(Telegraph) Interesting Dennis The Menace cartoon character was inspired by real-life Kiwi mechanic. No, the REAL Dennis The Menace, not the American ripoff who is as bland as everything else the Yanks steal  (telegraph.co.uk) (41)
(London Times) Amusing Super Size Me director Morgan Spurlock falls in love with deep-fried Mars bars during trip to Britain: "They don't look like much but they are fantastic. It is seriously one of the best things you will ever have in your life"  (timesonline.co.uk) (40)
(Starpulse) Amusing Ryan Reynolds is terrified to visit fan sites: "I know there are going to be photo-shopped pictures of me with a ball gag and nipple clamps"  (starpulse.com) (70)
(The Sun) Scary First look at bearded Salma Hayek in upcoming film. Still sorta want  (thesun.co.uk) (99)
(Variety) Amusing Off-Broadway musical based on Troma's "The Toxic Avenger" to ooze onto stages in 2010. No word yet as to whether or not it can match the grandeur and charm of "Evil Dead: The Musical"  (variety.com) (16)
(LA Times) Silly Berke Breathed looks back in embarrassment at his "Bloom County" days. "When you write about it you should say, 'This guy is a fraud and a cheat.' There's your headline"  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (99)

Sat October 03, 2009
(Some Guy) Fail "Capitalism" enjoys a $1.5 mil opening. Whew. Would have been embarrassing if it was making any money  (boxofficemojo.com) (225)
(Radar Magazine) Followup "Vampire Diaries" stars arrested for flashing drivers on freeway fail to show up for court hearing, judge dismisses case. Keep flashing away, little vampires  (radaronline.com) (40)
(Wall Street Journal) Obvious America's celebrity chef stratosphere (Giada, Fieri, Brown, Bourdain, Deen, etc.) go on nationwide rockstar-type tours to cook and joke before live audiences and make tons more cash than they earn from their shows  (online.wsj.com) (91)
(io9) Obvious Zombieland is the perfect date movie  (io9.com) (94)
(Some Guy) Cool Disney 'robot' can sense if you're happy (with pic)  (disneyparks.disney.go.com) (31)
(Contact Music) Obvious Actress says that kissing Megan Fox was "weird." Don't worry; that was just herpes  (contactmusic.com) (61)
(Newsweek) Followup Newsweek blogger asks, "Will Letterman the letch still be funny?" Submitter asks, "What do you mean, 'still'?"  (blog.newsweek.com) (105)
(HitFix) Cool Spike Jonze's "Where the Wild Things Are" ain't for kids, but it certainly is beautiful  (hitfix.com) (74)
(Some vampire) Cool Uber-MILF Kate Beckinsale is Esquire's 2009 Sexiest Woman Alive. Subby and most of the male population will be in their bunks (includes video... may be slightly Not safe for work)  (popcrunch.com) (101)
(Contact Music) Stupid Blair Witch Project sequel planned, titles considered so far: "Return To Blair Witch Mountain", "Welcome Back, Blair Witch" and "Don't Be a Menace in Burkitsville While Scaring Teens in the Woods"  (contactmusic.com) (69)
(TMZ) Stupid Nic Cage sued for $2 Million by bank for unpaid custom bird hair replacement system  (tmz.com) (22)

Fri October 02, 2009
(Dlisted) Scary Lindsay Lohan hits the streets of Paris las-GAAAAAAAAHH  (dlisted.com) (150)
(Contact Music) Obvious Sean Astin says he lives in a "girly" home because of his wife and three daughters. Hopefully, they let him display the original potato from Fellowship of the Ring  (contactmusic.com) (38)
(Contact Music) Cool Wild and crazy guy Steve Martin wins two awards...at the International Bluegrass Music Association Awards. In other news, they give out awards for bluegrass music worldwide  (contactmusic.com) (44)
(Gawker) Followup Compilation of what we know about David Letterman's accuser: He probably needed the money, since he has four mortgages on his house and was socked with $72,000 a year in child support  (gawker.com) (58)
(Starpulse) Unlikely Kristen Stewart wishes she was a "normal person." Subby wishes he wasn't attracted to a chick with a mullet that's the star of a crappy movie, but here we are  (starpulse.com) (105)
(Some Guy) Hero Beyoncé has donated more than $2.5 million for transitional housing for Hurricane Katrina victims and storm evacuees in the Houston area  (community.livejournal.com) (69)
(Wall Street Journal) Spiffy Talking about American comedy with a man who knows it best, Carl Reiner: "The first thing I look at in the morning paper, I turn to the obituaries. And if my name isn't there, I have breakfast"  (online.wsj.com) (37)
(CBS News) Followup Dennis Hopper takes an easy ride out of the hospital  (cbsnews.com) (18)
(MSNBC) Obvious Kate Hudson has bonded with Alex Rodriguez's daughters, Natasha and Ella but she's not doing so hot with his other girlfriend, Jeter  (msnbc.msn.com) (30)
(NYPost) Weird CBS anchor Katie Couric says she thought the word 'gravitas' was 'Latin for testicles'  (nypost.com) (45)
(Contact Music) Sad Kiefer Sutherland worries that he could be killed off of 24 because he would be easy to replace. THEY'RE RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS  (contactmusic.com) (35)
(Reality TV World) Silly New show to feature glamorous young women alternately ignoring passengers and spilling drinks on them  (realitytvworld.com) (25)
(Deadline Hollywood Daily) Spiffy Michael Bay signs on for Transformers 3 due out on July 1, 2011. Also promises Megan Fox won't be hurt in the making of this movie  (deadline.com) (82)
(Yahoo) Fail I wouldn't cast Matt LeBlanc even if I was producing The Matt LeBlanc Story  (news.yahoo.com) (42)
(Cracked) Amusing Six beloved TV shows... that traumatized their cast members for life  (cracked.com) (129)

Thu October 01, 2009
(Entertainment Weekly) Spiffy EW lists top 25 greatest cult TV shows ever. Obviously everyone at EW is smoking crack, as they missed your favorite show of all time, of course (slideshow)  (ew.com) (254)
(Yahoo) Weird Full Michael Jackson autopsy results leaked: healthy 50-year-old man of normal weight, strong heart, excellent kidneys, minor lung trouble, and "actively producing sperm"  (sg.news.yahoo.com) (60)
(Media Post) Interesting Upscale viewers enjoy watching TV shows on ABC, especially "Grey's Anatomy." The other major networks are more popular among the middle class, while stoners of all classes prefer Nickelodeon  (mediapost.com) (70)
(Contact Music) PSA Madge really hates it when you call her "Madge," so be sure that you don't call Madge "Madge." Madge  (contactmusic.com) (59)
(io9) Stupid Editors have finally found out what was missing in Louisa May Alcott's classic "Little Women."  (io9.com) (70)
(NJ.com) Amusing After being banned from Newark Airport, Conan O'Brien bans Newark, NJ Mayor Cory Booker from Burbank Airport  (nj.com) (34)
(Celebslam) Obvious Suri Cruise's wardrobe is worth more than your house, future income  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (52)
(Some Guy) Video Disney celebrates Magic Kingdom's birthday -- tilt-shift style  (disneyparks.disney.go.com) (35)
(People Magazine) Obvious Madonna would rather have a train run on her than marry again  (people.com) (54)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Cool Ramones biopic possibly on the way. The movie will be badly lit, badly edited, plot will barely hold together and dialogues will seem written by a 12-year-old, yet it will somehow hold together brilliantly  T-Shirt  (riskybusinessblog.com) (68)
(Daily Mail) Cool I pity the fool that doesn't geek out over the newest photos from the set of A-Team  (dailymail.co.uk) (99)
(People Magazine) Cool Fox's new show Glee is quickly establishing itself as something of a TV oddity: a show with modest acting, absolutely no good writing, but music so good that people watch anyway  (tvwatch.people.com) (132)
(Starpulse) Stupid Emma Watson "shaken" by Harvard harassment, says Duke still sucks  (starpulse.com) (105)
(New York Daily News) Obvious Sarah Jessica Parker bridles at unstable large crowds in NYC. Hopes cops can rein it in  (nydailynews.com) (41)
(CBS News) Misc In a new book, Christopher Robin returns to the Hundred Acre Wood. Hope it hasn't all been clear cut for some housing development  (cbsnews.com) (34)
(Variety) Interesting New report reveals there are more gay, lesbian, transgendered and otherwise fabulous characters on TV than ever before. No word if researchers watched anything besides a single episode of Glee  (variety.com) (76)
(MTV) Silly Kevin Smith unveils his new Gotham City vigilante. No, it's not Bluntman  (splashpage.mtv.com) (119)

Wed September 30, 2009
(HitFix) Dumbass Yes, true change has come. Toby 'put a boot up your ass' Keith to perform at Nobel Peace Prize concert in Oslo  (hitfix.com) (69)
(Contact Music) Cool Kelsey Grammer said he spent a lot of time playing with his Wii to recover from a heart attack  (contactmusic.com) (44)
(Entertainment Weekly) Amusing This year's Best Supporting Actor Oscar category is pretty weak, as right now it's Christoph Waltz for "Inglourious Basterds" and...no one else  (oscar-watch.ew.com) (123)
(ET) Amusing Genius "official courtroom sketch of John Travolta" done at Easter Island (w/ frameable pic)  (etonline.com) (56)
(Starpulse) Unlikely Brits vote "Erin Brockovich" top movie heroine. This must be another one of their attempts at humor  (starpulse.com) (74)
(Gawker) Interesting Keith Olbermann to return to his show and explain whether his mysterious absence was due to illness, vacation, or one of his periodic hissyfits  (gawker.com) (110)
(Some Guy) News Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a famous actor who's been rushed to the hospital  (splashnewsonline.celebuzz.com) (104)
(CBS News) Stupid Michael Jackson's estate is suing a children's charity. That's just ignorant  (cbsnews.com) (21)
(CinemaBlend) Scary Bomb scare on the set of Seth Rogen's "The Green Hornet". Well, we did warn you about reading the script, didn't we?  (cinemablend.com) (35)
(Dlisted) PSA Fran Drescher celebrates 52 years of making people want to gouge out their eardrums with rusty sporks  (dlisted.com) (104)
(NYPost) Weird Madonna has been pimping out Jesus to gay bars  (nypost.com) (26)
(Contact Music) Silly Ellen Page says that she loves shovelling shiat. Which explains why she threw Juno in our faces  (contactmusic.com) (145)
(MSNBC) Dumbass Pulp Fiction writer Roger Avery sentenced to one year in jail. I guess we know where he's going to hide his watch  (msnbc.msn.com) (52)
(Huffington Post) Obvious Like pretty much everyone else in the world, Audrey Niffenegger, author of "The Time Traveler's Wife", refuses to see the movie based on her book  (huffingtonpost.com) (41)
(LA Times) Scary Across the land, thousands of children are playing on Michael Jackson's Zipper  (latimes.com) (59)
(Huffington Post) Unlikely Another steroid user name comes out: Zach Morris  (huffingtonpost.com) (86)
(UPI) Obvious Tori Spelling hospitalized with stomach ailment. Colic likely, says veterinarian  (upi.com) (35)

Tue September 29, 2009
(Yahoo) Sad There Should Have Been Only One  (movies.yahoo.com) (104)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Rather done  (news.yahoo.com) (78)
(Contact Music) Sad Carrie Fisher disgusted she can't fit in her plus-size slave costume, demands Han Solo and a cookie  (contactmusic.com) (139)
(CNN) Scary Wendy Williams gets a talk show. First guest will reportedly drive a school bus through a wall of TVs while she rides on top  T-Shirt  (cnn.com) (61)
(TMZ) Interesting DJ AM's death to be ruled accidental, although he had more drugs in his sytem than Lindsay Lohan has in her medicine cabinet: Cocaine, oxycodone, hydrocodone, Ativan, Klonopin, Xanax, Benadryl and Levamisole  (tmz.com) (99)
(Eat Me Daily) Scary TV chef Paula Deen shares her beauty secrets, although no one in their right mind even contemplated asking her for them  (eatmedaily.com) (69)
(TV by the Numbers) Spiffy "Sesame Street" to celebrate its 40th birthday with fresh episode featuring new show format, nature curriculum, CGI animated characters, and special appearance by Michelle Obama  (tvbythenumbers.com) (94)
(Some Guy) Strange Randy Quaid's wife believed "[Michael] Jackson was murdered along with Heath Ledger, Chris Penn, David Carradine, Natasha Richardson, and other stars who (had been) in movies with Randy."  (thedailybeast.com) (75)
(Some Guy) Sad There go any hopes for a 'Enemy of the State' sequel. Gene Hackman has retired from acting  (thedailybeast.com) (122)
(The Sun) Silly To honor her brother, Janet Jackson will wear black for a year. If she really wanted to honor him, she would slowly fade it to white  T-Shirt  (thesun.co.uk) (31)
(New York Daily News) Followup Rest easy, America, for police have the second suspect in Lindsay Lohan's burglary in custody. Phew  (nydailynews.com) (21)
(Variety) Cool Yet another of Stephen King's works is being adapted for a TV show, and this time it's...The Coloardo Kid, his pulp novel. There's a chance that this could actually be good  (variety.com) (53)
(London Times) Sad BBC accused of dumbing down its TV shows to the point where even Americans could get most of the jokes in the average comedy  (entertainment.timesonline.co.uk) (99)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting The most inspired pieces of voice actor casting in the movies  (denofgeek.com) (189)
(MTV) Silly They're coming right at us: The most notable 3-D flicks of all time  (mtv.com) (59)
(Some Guy) Misc Ghostbusters' New York: Then and now. Sigourney Weaver still looks fantastic  (scoutingny.com) (79)
(Paste Magazine) Cool Trailer for Joss Whedon's upcoming "Astonishing X-Men: Gifted." Comic books have certainly mutated lately  (pastemagazine.com) (80)

Mon September 28, 2009
(YouTube) Scary Every year Britain's Got Talent comes up with an unexpectedly talented opera singer. This year is no exception  (youtube.com) (70)
(LA Times) Interesting Parents, don't be afraid of the sex in the hit musical show "Glee." Besides, you'll have more to worry about once your son or daughter turns gay by watching it  (latimes.com) (143)
(NYPost) Scary Simon Cowell passes Oprah on the most overpaid celebrity on TV list  (nypost.com) (41)
(Some Guy) Obvious Megan Fox hates touching paper. Which explains why she can't read any of the scripts to the movies she's in  (dailyfill.com) (97)
(Contact Music) Followup Khloe Kardashian did marry Lamar Odom yesterday. She says their honeymoon will last for five nights, while he claims the honeymoon last four nights. Four nights  (contactmusic.com) (68)
(Some Hurley) Amusing Someone drew Jorge Garcia, aka Hurley from LOST, the greatest. drawing. ever  (dispatchesfromtheisland.blogspot.com) (62)
(Google) Dumbass Poland, the country that just legalized chemical castration for pedophiles, urges release of Roman Polanski  (google.com) (319)
(Contact Music) Asinine Hugh Jackman, Daniel Craig were forced to stop their Broadway play due to...some idiot's loud cell phone. That's exactly what you want to do; piss off Wolverine and James Bond  (contactmusic.com) (105)
(Nerve) Weird The 20 weirdest TV interviews of all time (4 pages, w/video clips for each)  (nerve.com) (64)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Cool Three weeks after suffering stroke, Garrison Keillor gets back to his job of helping NPR listeners fall sleep  (startribune.com) (42)
(Starpulse) Weird Stop me if you've heard this one before: "a guy loses his virginity to a paraplegic hanging from a tree branch..."  (starpulse.com) (41)
(Boston Herald) Asinine Seth MacFarlane unleashes his latest Cleveland steamer  (bostonherald.com) (178)
(Contact Music) Scary Courtney Love on meeting Hugo Chavez: "He's a sexy dawg. He invited me to visit his country and I'd like to go. I'll rock Caracas"  (contactmusic.com) (133)

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