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(Headline T-Shirts are still available for archive links.)
Sun September 06, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(PCWorld) Cool Toshiba, having lost the HD/Blu-Ray battle, unveils its first Blu-Ray player. Naturally, it's superior to anything else on the market  (pcworld.com) (95)
(Entertainment Weekly) Obvious "Final Destination" tops box office for the second week, proving that people would rather watch a mindless, thoughtless sequel than anything involving Sandra Bullock  (hollywoodinsider.ew.com) (91)
(IMDB) Unlikely Michael Moore fears "Capitalism: A Love Story" will be his last film. Submitter fears it won't  (imdb.com) (167)
(Daily Mail) Followup Phil Spector's wife insists he was framed for a murder that he didn't commit, hopes her appeal leads to multiple newsflashes followed by his exoneration  (dailymail.co.uk) (23)
(Breitbart.com) Stupid "Gamer" criticized for overuse of a certain cinematic style: "You're not using the Almighty's name in vain when you mean it. So everybody all together now: God Damn the Shaky-Cam"  (bighollywood.breitbart.com) (129)

Sat September 05, 2009
(UPI) Stupid Twitter opera to make limited London debut. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go kill myself  (upi.com) (19)
(Miami Herald) Strange And remember, always spay and neuter your wrestlers  (miamiherald.com) (47)
(Contact Music) Amusing Kevin Smith to stage a 24 hour Labor Day tweet-a-thon. "I've been training for this my whole life, simply by being a lazy fat-ass who'd rather stare at a screen than better himself..."  (contactmusic.com) (65)
(WWTDD) Sad If Jessica Simpson was a superhero, her arch-enemies would be gravity and time  (wwtdd.com) (129)
(Entertainment Weekly) Sad One of the funnier current cast members of SNL just got fired. biatch, please  (ausiellofiles.ew.com) (139)
(Donna Martin Graduates) Strange Tori Spelling would like everyone to know that her husband does not think she looks like a horse and that their relationship is stable  (popeater.com) (28)
(CSMonitor) Interesting District 9 premieres in South Africa, viewers have a hard time distinguishing science fiction from history  (features.csmonitor.com) (67)

Fri September 04, 2009
(Cinematical) Obvious Megan Fox compares Michael Bay to Adolf Hitler. For shame, Megan, what did Hitler ever do that was as bad as forcing Shia LaBeouf on America?  (cinematical.com) (77)
(Entertainment Weekly) Obvious Neil Patrick Harris says he doesn't mind having to get physical with Cobie Smulders on How I Met Your Mother. Even gay guys know she's hot enough to melt the pink steel  (popwatch.ew.com) (77)
(The Sun) Dumbass Lady Gaga is now releasing statements on behalf of her vagina  (celebuzz.com) (87)
(CNN) Cool Kirk and Spock show up together at Dragon-Con to tell everyone to get a long life and prosper  (marquee.blogs.cnn.com) (253)
(Some Guy) Amusing "There's nothing wrong with "All About Steve" that a rewrite couldn't fix, as long as the rewrite involved a different writer, a different character and a different story"  (featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com) (44)
(NPR) Strange Dee Snyder seen on the set of "Sex And The City 2"  (npr.org) (37)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Chris Brown says Oprah dissing him is a "slap in the face". Nice choice of words there, genius  (angryape.com) (61)
(Huffington Post) Amusing Rachel Harris has an on-set meltdown, flips out at crew-member, tears Zachary Quinto a new one  (huffingtonpost.com) (77)
(Celebitchy) Amusing Julia Stiles goes all eco-maniacal for you. You're welcome  (celebitchy.com) (129)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Winnie The Pooh to get first official sequel in 81 years. It pretty much sucks, according to Eeyore  (dailymail.co.uk) (29)
(Washington Post) Interesting "'Extract' may be the most disappointing American comedy of the decade, partly because it's jokeless and joyless..."  (washingtonpost.com) (127)
(Austin 360) Strange Austin, TX garbage trucks become stars of alternative dance theater production  (austin360.com) (50)
(New York Daily News) Obvious Whitney Houston's normally CRYSTALline voice goes to POT, CRACKs during performance, fueling speculation that she needs a new training METHod. No word on why it happened  T-Shirt  (nydailynews.com) (22)
(Sivers) Amusing Kurt Vonnegut explains why people love drama, with graphs  (sivers.org) (65)

Thu September 03, 2009
(Time) Obvious 10 lessons we can learn from the 2009 summer movie season, including that Hollywood is out of ideas  (time.com) (123)
(Some Guy) Cool Batman named the greatest superhero of all time. Suck THAT, fans of Superman, Spiderman, Fantastic 4, Incredible Hulk, and especially Watchmen and Wolverine. Wolverine is a biatch. There. I said it  (digitalspy.com) (161)
(Some Guy) Obvious Jon and Kate f**k Eight porn in the works. Beats the real thing which will undoubtedly appear when the residuals dry up in 2011  (thefrisky.com) (70)
(Contact Music) Interesting Anna Paquin doesn't know how to drive. Then why has Stephen Moyer been saying she knows how to work a stick?  (contactmusic.com) (49)
(Guardian.com) Unlikely "Derided as a second-rate Simpsons, Family Guy refuses to die - and clearly has some fans in high places. Maybe a reappraisal is in order"  (guardian.co.uk) (282)
(Contact Music) Spiffy Keanu Reeves agrees to take DNA test to prove he's not The One  T-Shirt  (contactmusic.com) (56)
(Contact Music) Followup Belinda Carlisle will star in upcoming performance of Hairspray. The Ozone layer surrenders  (contactmusic.com) (30)
(Contact Music) Silly Michael Jackson had surgery that allegedly boosted his sperm count. I'm sure that went swimmingly  (contactmusic.com) (19)
(Some Guy) Interesting "Daniel Radcliffe is determined to maintain a distance between his star status and low profile celebrities who have made a name without any discernible talent." Good luck with all of that  (ptinews.com) (65)
(NYPost) Spiffy New reality show that follows six lesbians around Los Angeles expected to lick the competition. Cast is looking forward to a taste of the red carpet at the next Emmy Awards  (nypost.com) (49)
(Contact Music) Weird David Beckham to get a tattoo of Ellen Degeneres. This will do more for the anti-tattoo establishment than either of them realize  (contactmusic.com) (22)
(CNN) Interesting Michael Jackson is finally being buried 70 days after his death, proving how well our current plastic products can withstand the elements  T-Shirt  (cnn.com) (35)
(TMZ) Stupid Former assistant wants Tyra to return $5,820, her dignity  (tmz.com) (10)
(New York Daily News) Followup Fans screamed themselves hoarse trying to get at Sarah Jessica Parker on the set of the Sex and the City sequel  (nydailynews.com) (49)
(AZCentral) Cool Jason Bateman on the 'Arrested Development' movie: "I can report that it is being written. Mitch Hurwitz is probably halfway through". And that's why you don't use a one armed person to scare someone  (azcentral.com) (165)
(Reuters) Stupid Whitney Houston's comeback album won't just crack top 10, it'll do a straight line to #1  (reuters.com) (35)

Wed September 02, 2009
(Some Guy) Amusing Jim Breuer "one of the county's most outrageous and beloved comedians." Country name not revealed  (roadrunnerrecords.com) (74)
(Contact Music) Silly Natalie Portman buys a castle. Trade Federation immediately sets up a blockade around the palace, demands economic sanctions be lifted  (contactmusic.com) (54)
(Gawker) Asinine Take-Two Interactive will pay $20 million to settle lawsuit alleging the company knew the game contained consexual sex rather than just raping and killing prostitutes  (valleywag.gawker.com) (70)
(Examiner) Misc A comic book about a heroic version of a mass murderer from an alternate universe? Sure, sign me up  (examiner.com) (51)
(Jezebel) Dumbass Jon Gosselin, whiny douche: "He seems bitter about the fact that he had to stay at home with the children while Kate traveled on book tours"  (jezebel.com) (66)
(IMDB) Spiffy Breast wishes to Salma Hayek on her 43rd birthday  (imdb.com) (84)
(NPR) Misc ABC's Charles Gibson to retire at year's end. No word on his replacement on "Dancing With the Stars"  (npr.org) (18)
(Some Guy) Asinine Need an idea for another remake, Hollywood? Why, just follow the yellow brick road  (wearemoviegeeks.com) (97)
(BBC) Interesting Robert Downey Jr. and Jon Favreau to make "Cowboys and Aliens". Yee-ha?  (news.bbc.co.uk) (22)
(Radar Magazine) Scary Randy Quaid gets a death threat. Then it gets seriously weird  (radaronline.com) (40)
(Some Guy) Obvious From the "no one saw this coming" file: Lindsay Lohan interested in posing for Playboy  (perezhilton.com) (123)
(Den Of Geek) Cool Iron Man 2D Errr, 3D. Aren't they supposed to wait for the third one?  (denofgeek.com) (47)
(Cracked) Spiffy Seven beloved celebrities and the awful shiat you forgot they did  (cracked.com) (139)
(Fox News) Misc Celebrities are just like us; they even resort to tricks like wearing fake eyeglasses to look smarter. With pic of Lindsay Lohan wearing about three pairs too few to achieve the desired effect  (foxnews.com) (84)
(YourTango) Obvious Robert Pattinson fed up with American women, decides to go back to British men  (yourtango.com) (39)

Tue September 01, 2009
(Orlando Sentinel) Amusing Steven Spielberg's Ulitmate cock-block of Universal  (blogs.orlandosentinel.com) (33)
(Breitbart.com) Spiffy LA conservatives give a right thumb's up to Mike Judge's new film, "Extract"  (bighollywood.breitbart.com) (67)
(Examiner) Followup Calm down, people. The Disney/Marvel deal does not mean Miley Cyrus is starring in Iron Man 2. Probably  (examiner.com) (59)
(Google) Strange Slow News Day News: Muhammad Ali united with relatives for the first time in his "ancestral home". Fark News: In Ireland  (google.com) (33)
(Guardian.com) Spiffy "The Office" was the "smartest, warmest and funniest sitcom in British TV history," athough that totally ignores the greatness of "The Vicar of Dibley"  (guardian.co.uk) (139)
(Contact Music) Amusing WKRP gets the porn treatment. WKY coming to a porn store near you soon  (contactmusic.com) (90)
(Contact Music) Scary Demi Moore wants to have a baby; if it's a boy, she'll probably name him Dusty  (contactmusic.com) (80)
(Yahoo) Interesting Newspapers that cut costs are laying off their younger reporters, leaving aging baby boomers to cover youth-oriented stuff like Comic Book Con and The Twitter  (news.yahoo.com) (178)
(Variety) Spiffy Fox to reboot the "Fantastic Four" movie franchise. Sadly, the reboot will not include burning every copy of the first two films  (variety.com) (123)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Unlikely Joe Quesada claims Marvel is going to be given the autonomy of Pixar  (aintitcool.com) (87)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Paula Abdul promises she didn't leave American Idol because of money, she left on "principle." So confused -- why she did the show in the first place, then?  (tvguidemagazine.com) (38)
(BBC) Obvious Weakest Link host Anne Robinson says TV is ageist, claiming "There are a lot of pretty young things with not much talent appearing on... On... What was I talking about again?"  (news.bbc.co.uk) (16)
(NYPost) Strange Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, it's a restraining order for Jon Peters to stay 100 yards away from his Superman co-producer for allegedly threatening to kapow him  (nypost.com) (22)
(Guardian.com) Interesting Production of first Iranian film shot in U.S. since 1979 gets underway. Director hopes 'Death To America At The Hands Of Allah And His Faithful Arab Servants' will be in theatres by Christmas  (guardian.co.uk) (52)
(Cracked) Hero Seven iconic characters that almost never were. Article also properly credits Bill Finger as the real Batman  (cracked.com) (62)
(The Frisky) Fail Heather Mills' new clothing line starts off on the wrong foot  (thefrisky.com) (42)
(Travel Channel) Amusing Concerned parent Anthony Bourdain checks out Nick Jr. and Noggin for his toddler's sake, celebrates "Yo Gabba Gabba" for its good indie music, and rips "Lazytown" as candy-colored ode to eugenics  (anthony-bourdain-blog.travelchannel.com) (191)

Mon August 31, 2009
(Deceiver) Ironic Claire Danes gives us her so-called life advice  (deceiver.com) (49)
(Contact Music) Followup 99 career options but a film career ain't one  (contactmusic.com) (18)
(Fast Company) Spiffy HULU technically is the number two broadcaster in the USA with 38 million viewers  (fastcompany.com) (63)
(AP) Amusing Carrie Prejean sues California pagent officials over her firing, citing "religious discrimination" (w/ obligatory photo from swimsuit competition)  (wwl.com) (94)
(BBC) Followup ♫ Oh, say can you ski, by the dawn's early light, what so proudly she failed, by the twilight's last gleaming? ♫  (news.bbc.co.uk) (30)
(WWTDD) Asinine Chris Brown "doesn't remember" hitting Rhianna. Complete with "look at me, I couldn't have done it, I wear a bow-tie" appearance on Larry King  (wwtdd.com) (74)
(Daily Stab) Sick Milla Jovovich eats strange things  (dailystab.com) (95)
(Some Guy) Silly And then the authorities mistook Cannibal Holocaust for a snuff movie  (totalscifionline.com) (56)
(AP) Silly Madonna and Jesus visit the holy land. This is not a repeat from 31  T-Shirt  (hosted.ap.org) (25)
(Some Guy) Obvious The ever quotable Megan Fox: "Women hold the power because we have the vaginas"  (justjared.buzznet.com) (510)
(Contact Music) Dumbass Noted economist Natalie Portman thinks it's just spifffy that we're all suffering during this recession  (contactmusic.com) (78)
(Contact Music) Obvious Sean Connery's Irish-American accent in "The Untouchables" voted the worst movie accent of all time. You're the man now, dog  (contactmusic.com) (201)
(New York Daily News) Spiffy Checking in on the cast of "The Princess Bride" 22 years later. 22 years? Could submitter really be that old? Inconceivable!  (nydailynews.com) (108)
(The Sun) Obvious Just call him the Sticky Bandit: Macaulay Culkinreumored to be Blanket's biological dad  (thesun.co.uk) (47)
(Reuters) Stupid Bad Boys, Bad Boys..whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when part three comes for you?  (reuters.com) (53)
(Variety) Fail Rambo V  (variety.com) (118)
(Reuters) Obvious The eleven "Star Trek" movies have grossed more than $1 billion dollars. The eleven billion to one ratio corresponds to the odds a Trekker has "known" a woman's most delicate and intimate embrace  (reuters.com) (109)
(Variety) Stupid NBC will get "more colorful" with new slogan. Don't worry, they're not about to do something crazy, like have a program where the lead is a minority, or anything  (variety.com) (37)
(io9) Unlikely Batman: "I Am Vengeance, I Am the Night, I Am Batman". River Tam: "I can kill you with my brain". Batman: "Shiny"  (io9.com) (159)

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