FARK.com: Showbiz links -- Archives for 2009-08-30

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Sun August 30, 2009

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		"The Wire" writer: "Only when television managed to liberate itself from the economic construct of advertising was there a real emancipation of story" (news.bbc.co.uk)	(102)
(HitFix)		Movie gods laugh as flick originally intended for home video opens to No 1 and $28 million at the box office (hitfix.com)	(116)
		"The singer poses with a cigarette, a bad example for the legions of young fans likely to be inspired by her." (dailymail.co.uk)	(59)
		Katy Perry mortified at being mistaken for Zooey Deschanel. That's hot, yet it's somewhat cold (contactmusic.com)	(78)
		If you've always thought Dakota Fanning would look better as a goth tart with red eyes, we have good news for you (nypost.com)	(83)
		Ten respectable horror sequels. Adjective could have been "good" if they'd stopped at five (rottentomatoes.com)	(51)
(Some Guy)		Shelley Duvall has joined the ranks of Anne Heche crazy (worstpreviews.com)	(65)
		It's still all about the whales, right? RIGHT? (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(79)
		The only way to handle "Blade Runner II" (denofgeek.com)	(31)
		Keith Richards' two hot daughters are making a name for themselves in the modeling industry (denverpost.com)	(37)
(DHD)		Hollywood embarrassed that this weekend's Top 4 films feature horror, death, gore, mayhem, war, Nazis, aliens, and sci-fi. "What a sad statement on movie-going humanity" (deadlinehollywooddaily.com)	(124)

Sat August 29, 2009

	Matt Damon to accept a lifetime achievement award. Great, does that mean his career is finally over? (contactmusic.com)	(93)
(CBR)	The top 70 Marvel comic panels of all time. Bonus: Vote for the top ten (goodcomics.comicbookresources.com)	(190)
	"Rescue Me" to come to an end in 2011. Dennis Leary reportedly devastated that he'll have to go back to stealing from dead comedians (variety.com)	(71)
	Michael Crichton's final novel, "Pirate Latitudes," has been picked up by DreamWorks and will be directed by Stephen Spielberg. Because pirates are "in" now, and everyone wants to see a 1665 period piece (variety.com)	(32)
(Some Guy)	"Halloween II is either a work of jaw-dropping, unhinged genius, or the most moronic horror film since Ernest Scared Stupid" (filmcritic.com)	(75)
(Westword)	Five movie hippie chicks who make us wish we lived the 60s (blogs.westword.com)	(83)
	Geordi La Forge can fix almost all engineering problems, but he can't fix PBS's budget (google.com)	(64)
	Kirsten Dunst is THIS close to changing her name to "Kirsten Pabst" (contactmusic.com)	(61)
	The 10 best and worst movie villains. George Lucas strangely absent (ew.com)	(88)
	Stephen Dorff said his mother's spirit has guided him and help him to land movie roles. Really, making your dead mother scapegoat for your performance in Blade? For shame, Stephen. For shame (contactmusic.com)	(21)
	Reno tries to save the cancelled mockumentary sitcom 'Reno 911' (usatoday.com)	(64)

Fri August 28, 2009

	Emily and Zooey Deschanel are finally going to get together, not in the way that every Farker wants, but still, it will be good (ausiellofiles.ew.com)	(74)
	From the Yes, God, yes file: Evan Rachel Wood says her "True Blood" vampire "goes both ways" (starpulse.com)	(68)
(Some Guy)	Joe Francis pulls a Chris Brown and beats the crap out of a girl (gabbybabble.celebuzz.com)	(75)
	Blossom is a MILF. Whoah (omg.yahoo.com)	(161)
	Diora Baird's boobs are made from rainbows and puppy fur, and Kenan Thompson got to touch them (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(51)
(The Daily Beast)	Matt Lauer asks Miley Cyrus what the inspiration for her new album was. "This was mainly written for my clothing line" (thedailybeast.com)	(60)
	Ozzy Osbourne: 'Kelly, you're wearing a thong, Kelly? Thongs are for wh***s.' (boston.com)	(114)
	Now the pharmaceutical and medical industries have someone else to blame in Michael Jackson's death as pot is found in the home (mtv.com)	(19)
	Anne Heche complains on national TV about having to pay $3700 a month child support to her good-for-nothing ex-husband. Life's a biatch and then you bi (mercurynews.com)	(75)
	Tom Cruise's former Scientology auditor: 'I have counseled people who were abused by Tom personally.' No mention if that includes Katie Holmes (celebitchy.com)	(76)
	Rob Zombie to remake "The Blob." In this movie, we'll learn that the blob is a misunderstood outcast and hates people because it didn't get along well with other blobs in the neighborhood (variety.com)	(76)
	Today's Fark-ready headline: "Hippies face horror at weekend B.O." (variety.com)	(15)
	A&E acquires Lifetime. "The First 48" will now be a show about PMS (abcnews.go.com)	(31)
	Michael Bay recruits "Smallville" and Hannah Montana movie writers to pen adaptation of Oprah's disgraced author James Frey's new teen sci-fi series. The universe may implode on news of this much concentrated suck (chud.com)	(17)
	"Mystery Science Theater 3000" host Mike Nelson sits down to answer 10 questions from Examiner.com. Yes, Mike finally gives an answer to the Joel vs. Mike debate (examiner.com)	(155)
	First look at upcoming "Seinfeld" reunion. Not that there's anything wrong with that (popwatch.ew.com)	(66)
	When is heroin not heroin? When it's found at Michael Jackson's house (eonline.com)	(52)
(Some Stupid Mutt)	Shania Twain engaged, still not impressed with Brad Pitt (icydk.com)	(64)

Thu August 27, 2009

(New York Magazine)	Actress Mischa Barton interviewed about her breakdown. Of course it wasn't booze or blow; it was depression and bad wisdom teeth surgery (newyork.timeout.com)	(23)
	Bradley Cooper blames Christian Bale's grizzly-bear-meets-Clint-Eastwood Batman voice for ruining his Green Lantern audition (contactmusic.com)	(101)
	While most celebrities pray their unreported arrests and mug shots will never surface, John Mayer challenged TMZ to find his (tmz.com)	(44)
	Green Lantern is battling a foe much worse than Sinestro - the recession (aintitcool.com)	(48)
	American Pie star Jason Biggs is face-raped by an angry, deranged monkey after attempts by his traveling companion to beat it off prove unsuccessful (abcactionnews.com)	(62)
	Mel Gibson came very close to redeeming himself (celebslam.celebuzz.com)	(50)
	"It's rumour. It's not true. There is no script. There is no project to be cast in." (imdb.com)	(72)
	Joss Whedon is the patron saint of unemployed actors from awesome cancelled TV shows (including Summer Glau) (thrfeed.com)	(166)
	Warner Bros. officially refutes the Megan-Fox-as-Catwoman rumors. Production on Megan Fox's next film, "Vapid Car-Washing Skank: The Movie" will begin as originally planned (contactmusic.com)	(53)
	First, Parker Posey appeared in "Scream 3" and "Superman Returns." Now, she has Lyme Disease. Can't she catch a break? (contactmusic.com)	(100)
(Some Guy)	Worst. Shower Curtain. Ever (3am.co.uk)	(76)
	Well fark me gently with a chainsaw, Heathers is being remade for television (wired.com)	(70)
	Lindsay Lohan: "Things that a certain old friend knew meant a lot to me were taken." Yep, that's a sex tape (cbsnews.com)	(72)
	Kate Winslet to narrate autism documentary. At least she'll give people something to focus on (contactmusic.com)	(28)
(Some Guy)	Rumer Willis doesn't believe she owes her acting career success to her famous parents (gabbybabble.celebuzz.com)	(118)
(411Mania)	GLAAD's opinion of Vince McMahon calling Cirque de Soleil performers' costumes "really gay" on "WWE Raw" last night? HATED IT snap (411mania.com)	(76)

Wed August 26, 2009

	Proceeds from Bob Dylan's Christmas album to go to charity, ensuring America's hungry will continue to dumpster dive (abcnews.go.com)	(28)
	"We fail a lot," admits "Toy Story 3" director Lee Unkrich. "We just don't fail by the time the movie comes out." (variety.com)	(67)
	Dominick Done (huffingtonpost.com)	(55)
	Remember the fat kid from the TV show "Head of the Class?" He's the Aaron Spelling and Norman Lear of Nickelodeon (washingtonpost.com)	(80)
	Most of "A-Team" cast has been put together, which is pleasantly rapper-free. Apparently, Liam Neeson is in need of some quick cash (thesun.co.uk)	(171)
(Some Guy)	Megan Fox rumored to play Catwoman in next Batman movie. Eartha Kitt facepalms from heaven (newswatch50.com)	(225)
	Chelsea Handler dumps her boyfriend. So if you're in the market for a 33-year-old who looks like she's 47, you're in luck (starpulse.com)	(110)
	Drug addict son of Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal, who's failed rehab more often than David Hasselhoff, gets a reality show (x17online.com)	(26)
	All youse ready for class? Tony Danza becomes a high school English teacher in Philly for a reality show (philly.com)	(59)
	Kristen Stewart says the acting in the new Twilight movie "New Moon" is intense and a few romantic scenes will "literally kill people" with the emotion up on the screen (mtv.com)	(131)
	Lauren Bacall to Twilight vampires: "Get off my coffin" (imdb.com)	(136)
(Some Guy)	It's still a real network to me, dammit (medialifemagazine.com)	(55)
	Jet Li returns to Chinese filmmaking. Strangely enough, DMX won't be accompanying him (hollywoodreporter.com)	(20)
	"Taking Woodstock" star Liev Schreiber on cross-dressing: "It was exhilaratingly humiliating, but I completely became giddy in a strange way the moment I put on the dress" (people.com)	(70)
(Some Barbarian)	Gov. Ahh-nuld (R-INO) not only kept his sword from "Conan the Barbarian," he keeps it in the governor's office to deal with girly-man politicians (twitpic.com)	(91)
(Some Confused TFette)	Move over Dog the Bounty Hunter, here comes Steven Seagal: Lawman (joblo.com)	(57)

Tue August 25, 2009

	Trailer for upcoming William S. Burroughs doc, featuring John Waters, Gus Van Sant, and David Cronenberg, Jello Biafra, Iggy Pop and Sonic Youth: "Yes, there was a loaded gun in a holdster in bed with us" (youtube.com)	(62)
	Feminist author Katie Roiphe has a baby, subsequently melts into a pile of mommy goo: "In the six weeks since my baby was born, I seem to have lost all worldly ambition" (doublex.com)	(125)
	Half black/half Swedish-Catholic comic being sued by her Jewish mother law. No this is not a set up to a Family Guy manatee joke (abcnews.go.com)	(33)
(Some Guy)	Plot for Christopher Nolan's "Inception" revealed (incontention.com)	(48)
	Pete Townshend, who wrote "I hope I die before I get old," is working on new musical about aging (abcnews.go.com)	(49)
	David Blaine ignores lifeguard warnings not to swim and has to be rescued from high surf roiled up by Hurricane Bill. Better luck next time, Atlantic Ocean (nypost.com)	(85)
	If you thought The View could not suck any more than it does, guest hosts LaToya Jackson, Victoria Beckham, and Kathy Griffin will prove you wrong (theview.tv)	(33)
	David Lynch pulls the biggest prank on the entertainment industry ever, and we just found out about it. Good play, Sir, good play (cnn.com)	(63)
(Some cougar hunter)	Sharon Stone to people complaining about her nude photos: "know how I know you're gay?" (newswatch50.com)	(63)
	Due to the economy M. Night Shyamalan has to move filming of his new movie from Philly to Toronto. What a twist (philly.com)	(50)
(Some Guy)	Snow White wins $5.2 million California lottery. You'd hit it with your sneezy dwarf (ocresort.freedomblogging.com)	(116)
	Jessica Biel named the Web's most dangerous celebrity because pics and vids of her are the most likely to contain viruses. Lindsay Lohan still holds the title in every other context (abcnews.go.com)	(40)
	What recession? Movie box office so high that this looks likely to be a record summer (variety.com)	(59)
	Woody Harrelson as a superhero who befriends a teen prostitute. Holy real life Batman (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(28)
	Gerard Butler seen holding hands with Jennifer Aniston, fueling rumors that he's the next person in line to eventually flee from Jennifer Aniston running and screaming (nowmagazine.co.uk)	(69)
	Suddenly realizing she's still married to Antonio Banderas and haven't done a relevant movie in decades, Melanie Griffith checks into rehab (contactmusic.com)	(40)
	This just in, Alicia Silverstone is the greatest gardener EVER (contactmusic.com)	(111)

Mon August 24, 2009

	Snoop Dogg visits Amsterdam, has his entourage bring 5-foot pot plant back to his hotel room (with vid) (tmz.com)	(50)
	Comic books need a gossip columnist like Paris Hilton needs a hole in her... whatever (examiner.com)	(20)
	Although District 9 is geting lauded from all sides, most reviews seem to be ignoring one of the most vital parts of the movie, which is its portrayal of "the most touching and earned romance." (yglesias.thinkprogress.org)	(122)
	Joan Collins loves Eighties fashion and hairstyles. "When I catch the odd photo of myself or other stars of '80s TV, I'm often impressed by how good we all looked" (seattlepi.com)	(37)
	Jackson's death ruled homicide (usatoday.com)	(375)
	Musical theatre production of Mel Brooks' "The Producers" is smash hit in Germany. Here's an ad featuring "Springtime for Hitler" in the original German (youtube.com)	(43)
	'Bye Bye Birdie', whose original cast included Dick Van Dyke, Chita Rivera, Paul Lynde, and Charles Nelson Reilly, being revived starring Gina Gershon and John Stamos, has scene cut for being "a little too gang rape-y" (imdb.com)	(67)
	Candace Bushnell, author of "Sex in the City," doesn't want to be called a "cougar" even though she's marginally more attractive than the homely battle-ax who portrays her on TV and movies (nydailynews.com)	(50)
	Stephen King presents Twenty Movie Rentals that Never Let Me Down. "Maximum Overdrive" curiously missing from slideshow (ew.com)	(133)
	Anna Paquin: "Maybe there are a lot of women who keep their bras on while they have sex," Paquin says, "I don't happen to be one of them." (showbizspy.com)	(261)
(Some Guy)	70 years ago, the Wizard of Oz was released. Tag is for picture of Dorothy, Chewbacca and Ben Linus (newsarama.com)	(27)
	Attention New York City. Oprah wants to have a party, so you will all have to leave (nypost.com)	(37)
	If your image of Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig is one of the rugged avenging hero, here is a reminder that they are just geeky theater dorks (nydailynews.com)	(56)
(NYMag)	Trailer for porn based on 30 Rock funnier than the actual show (some language Not safe for work) (nymag.com)	(127)
	The hotel worker who found Ryan Jenkins said he was unrecognizable. Join the crowd, honey (news.yahoo.com)	(49)
	"The Imagen Awards were established... to encourage and recognize positive portrayals of Latinos in the media." This year's Best Feature Film winner at the Imagen Awards? Beverly Hills Chihuahua (hollywoodreporter.com)	(19)
	The global community has made a "G.I. Joe" sequel a sure thing. Thanks, world. Thanks a lot (io9.com)	(78)
	Robin Williams asked to play Scottish singing sensation Susan Boyle in a movie. It's not "Mrs. Doubtfire 2: Geriatric Boogaloo," but it's close enough (contactmusic.com)	(22)
	Universal resurrects Bioshock movie, with 28 Weeks Later director Juan Carlos Fernadillo. Did anyone tell Uwe Boll the rights were even available? (denofgeek.com)	(74)
	The 25 manliest movies ever made. You just might grow more hair on your chest from watching them (warning: slideshow) (ew.com)	(220)
	Jessica Simpson finds ways to exhibit grace and class after the end of her relationship with Tony Romo. Just kidding, she paid a witch to put a curse on Romo (contactmusic.com)	(51)
	Add this to the list of things that you didn't know existed until it was too late: Burt Reynolds Museum facing closure (upi.com)	(18)
	Man wanted for killing his swimsuit model wife decides he'll just hang out till the cops come to get him (tmz.com)	(213)
	Chili Peppers' drummer Chad Smith talks about the time he met his doppelganger: Will Ferrell (3news.co.nz)	(46)