FARK.com: Showbiz links -- Archives for 2009-08-23

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Sun August 23, 2009

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Annie Leibovitz could soon be taking pictures of your rugrats at a neighborhood Sears (breitbart.com)	(154)
		Ian McKellan says that the role of Bilbo Baggins was cast yesterday, says the fans will be ecstatic, but won't say who it is. Begin your guessing to the right (slashfilm.com)	(317)
		The latest victim of the economic crisis? Martin Scorsese's "Shutter Island" (contactmusic.com)	(83)
		Ashton Kutcher wants to clone himself. Angry villagers seen marching towards Castle Von Kutcherstein with torches and pitchforks (contactmusic.com)	(17)
		Heather Locklear is still negotiating a possible return to Melrose Place, while the male species is restlessly waiting with bated breath. (pics) (bittenandbound.com)	(34)
		Eddie Izzard's running 40 marathons in 47 days for Comic Relief. His recipe? Cake now, death later (timesonline.co.uk)	(59)
		Hollywood and grown-ups agree to call it quits (washingtonpost.com)	(71)
(Some Guy)		The 'thirtysomething' quiz: quit your whining already and take it (rickyretro.blogspot.com)	(15)
		Inglourious Basterds kicks District 9's ass. Tells GI Joe to go find his kung foo grip (hollywoodinsider.ew.com)	(333)
(Some Guy)		10 stupid apocalypses as portrayed in the movies (toplessrobot.com)	(108)

Sat August 22, 2009

	Literary critic gushes over Dan Brown latest would-be religion-killing novel: "it's brilliant writing if you read it really, really fast." (independent.ie)	(94)
	Courtney Love files a lawsuit claiming a fashion designer stole two bags of clothes from her. Given how Love dresses, it's more likely the fashion police stole the ho bag's clothes bags (contactmusic.com)	(9)
	Helena Bonham Carter looks like a crazy bag lady. Obvious tag is Obvious (dailymail.co.uk)	(40)
	Mischa Barton, who was hot, then a bobblehead, then batshiat insane, is back to "you'd definitely hit it" status (dailymail.co.uk)	(63)
	Jimmy Walker is looking far from DY-NO-MITE (photo) (cincinnati.metromix.com)	(34)
	Ric Romero discovers reality shows are staged and black contestants are stereotyped. Last seen heading towards bear feces sighting in wooded area (daytondailynews.com)	(24)
	Rob Zombie thrilled about leaked "Halloween 2" trailer, because he hated the official one. "I wrote this long letter to the promotion department: 'I hate these trailers and these TV spots, and I f-in' hate you'" (hollywoodinsider.ew.com)	(83)
	Victoria "Bag of Antlers" Beckham won't eat on airplanes. Or trains. Or buses. Or pretty much anywhere (contactmusic.com)	(24)
	No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no (feeds.people.com)	(92)
	Third X-Files film may be a reboot. I want to re-believe (slashfilm.com)	(68)
	At 4:30am one morning in 1994, Judd Apatow was painting his house instead of sleeping, a quirk of fate that saved his life during the California earthquake and allowing the world to see his genius (contactmusic.com)	(37)
	Adam Lambert unfazed by dildo assault (thesun.co.uk)	(36)
	Michael Irvin will crack some sweet ass moves on Dancing With the Stars. Put that in your pipe and smoke it (dfw.com)	(13)
	Not all rock music is about girls and cars. Some is about space-traveling explorers who set out to find a new planet, but who fall prey to unexpected light-speed effects of physics. Bonus: It's by one of the biggest bands to ever exist (bbc.co.uk)	(81)
	Quentin Tarantino made out with Kathy Griffin and had sex with Margaret Cho. Hopefully at the same time with Dick Dale playing in the background (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(66)
(Some Guy)	The top seven characters created by Quentin Tarantino. Guy with watch up his ass curiously absent (thescorecardreview.com)	(33)
	Meet the woman that we'd all like to get progressive with (specials.msn.com)	(95)
	Why has the general reaction to Avatar's trailer been so tepid? James Cameron didn't expect a an unknown South African filmmaker and an actor named Sharlto Copley to completely steal his thunder with District 9 (slashfilm.com)	(117)
	A side-by-side comparison of James Cameron's "Avatar" and the animated box-office bomb "Delgo" (w/pics) (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(67)

Fri August 21, 2009

	Aubrey O'Day wants everyone to know that she's thinking of growing her pubes back after being bald for the past eight years (starpulse.com)	(77)
	Lindsay Lohan goes loco in Manhattan deli. This is not a repeat from .... well, from every other time she's gone nuts (nydailynews.com)	(47)
	Happy 53rd birthday, Kim Cattrall. Here's the scene that launched her career (mildly not safe for work) (youtube.com)	(49)
	The NY Post ran a picture of Jennifer Aniston's vag today (gawker.com)	(111)
(Some Guy)	70-year-old Adam West explains his enduring popularity. "I'm very much like Madonna" (phillyburbs.com)	(72)
	15 minutes of Avatar viewed and reviewed. Is it any better than the trailer? (denofgeek.com)	(123)
(The Frisky)	Coming soon: A movie that was supposed to be about women's orgasms which turned into a movie about the pharmaceutical industry making huge profits from women's orgasms (thefrisky.com)	(77)
	Clarkson, Hammond, May and the Stig immortalised in Lego (telegraph.co.uk)	(45)
(OC Weekly)	VH1 cancels reality series with finalist suspected in the murder of his wife. You know, that would make a great Immunity Challenge (blogs.ocweekly.com)	(98)
(Socialite Life)	In response to their stinging takedown on South Park, Disney dials down the subliminal sexual marketing of the Jonas Bros. Just kidding, here they are spraying their audience with foam from hoses (socialitelife.celebuzz.com)	(73)
	I hope her powers include immunity from STDs. Hayden Panettiere is dating Lindsay Lohan's ex (nypost.com)	(46)
	Dan Brown's books voted "most likely to be donated to charity" (news.bbc.co.uk)	(60)
	It's great to live in a country where someone can say, "Yes, I am proud that my underage daughter pole dances." Kudos to you, Mr. Billy Ray Cyrus (contactmusic.com)	(69)
	Porn studios accused of violating workplace safety. OSHA to require hardhats, goggles and knee pads (news.yahoo.com)	(65)
(Some D'Argo)	The full list of extras included with the upcoming "Farscape" complete series DVDs is revealed; finally, one of the greatest sci-fi shows ever gets a proper release (tvshowsondvd.com)	(72)
	Kids in the Hall to start, write and produce new comedy/murder mystery mini-series. It centers around a crossdresser who's head is mysteriously squished (variety.com)	(87)
	A new biography of Flannery O'Connor seeks to answer one of the great literary questions of the 20th century: how did a nice Southern Catholic girl write such dark, farked-up stories? (cnn.com)	(47)
	Five years ago she was the most hittable jailbait on Earth. Today, Lindsay Lohan "too worn out" to play a part credibly. She's 23. W/pic that makes it hard to dispute (starpulse.com)	(364)
	Bryan Singer is set to destroy another Warner Bros. classic (variety.com)	(53)
	Picture gallery of plus-size models on the cat-walk proves that the WANT is strong with normal sized women (news.com.au)	(159)
	Joan Rivers interested in softcore porn publisher. This cannot end well. For anyone (contactmusic.com)	(10)
	"Scrubs" adds two new actors to the cast. In other news, "Scrubs" is still on the air, Zach Braff still not funny (news.yahoo.com)	(32)

Thu August 20, 2009

	From the "you knew it was coming" section of questionable movie tie-ins - the "Twilight" sparkle dildo (avclub.com)	(27)
(Some Hack Screenwriters)	Oh, come on. Did we really need a "Fame" remake? (collider.com)	(43)
	Robert Downey Jr. is not, nor has he ever been, a vampire. Any rumors to the contrary are patently untrue (contactmusic.com)	(27)
	Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's relationship said to be on the rocks. No, you still don't have a chance with either one of them (nowmagazine.co.uk)	(42)
(ScriptShadow)	"In this movie, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis have sex. We're talking ecstasy-induced hungry aggressive angry sex" (scriptshadow.blogspot.com)	(227)
	Lady Gaga started hermaphrodite rumors herself as risqué attention whoring, says famed risqué attention whore Katy Perry (starpulse.com)	(71)
	Man vs. half-pound burger made with grilled jalapeños, serrano peppers, ghost chiles (the dreaded Naga Jolokia) and jalapeño jack cheese, plus a dousing of habanero sauce. YOU GONNA DIE (mysanantonio.com)	(103)
	Ken Tucker: "Octomom: The Incredible Unseen Footage was a repulsively grim two hours... She believes her house is "haunted" and that she has to get a Bible for every room in the house" (watching-tv.ew.com)	(76)
	George Hamilton thinks a sequel to "Love At First Bite" would be a good way to cash in on the current vampire fad (starpulse.com)	(38)
	Ten movies that prove the 80's were a bad decade for movies. Wait, Better Off Dead is on the list? GO TO HELL (spike.com)	(115)
	Dude looks like a lady (bostonherald.com)	(90)
	The Top 15 "conservative" films of the new millennium. On The Dark Knight: "Watching liberal critics gush over a not-so-thinly disguised thank you to President Bush was nearly as much fun as the movie" (bighollywood.breitbart.com)	(210)
	I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a picture of Courtney Love with a turtle on her head (thesun.co.uk)	(25)
	"The worst thing you could possibly do with £496,000 is hand it to Charlie Sheen and ask him to joylessly monotone his way through another flat, featureless, morbidly unfunny 22 minutes of Two and a Half Men" (guardian.co.uk)	(85)
	Let's see him make this disappear (tmz.com)	(27)
	Even the Simpsons have changed in Obama's America (thesun.co.uk)	(54)
	The first trailer for Avatar has been released. For a movie with a $450M budget, this thing better look good (slashfilm.com)	(253)
	Robert Zemeckis to remake "Yellow Submarine" for 2012, will presumably involve a trip to Pepperland with a submarine equipped with a flux capacitor (guardian.co.uk)	(47)
	Simon Cowell secretly donates over £100,000 to dogs. At least we know where part of Abdul's salary came from (contactmusic.com)	(16)
	When a 62-year-old man hangs out with a hot 20-year-old Russian model, he might have trouble keeping pace. But when the 62-year-old is Ronnie Wood, it's the model who has trouble keeping pace (dailymail.co.uk)	(58)
(Some Guy)	Having won a mere 5 Grammys after being nominated 21 times, Mariah Carey doesn't want to chance being a loser AGAIN, so she will release her new album one day after the Grammy deadline (webstersismybitch.com)	(33)
	To get back in the spotlight, Pauly Shore pulls a Christian Bale (video) (tmz.com)	(37)
(Some Chick)	Celine Dion pregnant with eight year-old sperm. Isn't that illegal? (popeater.com)	(33)
	Phil Spector fears for his life in PMITA prison, inspires production of music from the smallest violin in the world (msnbc.msn.com)	(26)
	What does Amy Winehouse look like after a 48-hour bender? The Sun is there and gets waaay too close (thesun.co.uk)	(92)

Wed August 19, 2009

(Movie-Moron.com)	15 Most Anticipated Movies Still To Come In 2009 (movie-moron.com)	(204)
	Unable to find Sarah Connor, Terminator files for bankrupcy (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(39)
(Some Guy)	Oliver Stone to make a film about the "secret" history of the US including how a Muslim President was put into power by the Jews (thrfeed.com)	(63)
	Critic says "Inglourious Basterds" is "unendurably, unbelievably tedious" and "exasperatingly awful and transcendentally disappointing...a colossal, complacent, long-winded dud." Wonder how he really feels (guardian.co.uk)	(273)
	Writers of "Lost" creating 70's style "In Search Of" documentary on the Dharma Initiative, airing on the web in installments during the hiatus. Leonard Nemoy raises an eyebrow (beta.abc.go.com)	(67)
	Harry Potter and the Ten-Inch Joint. The Sun is here, man (thesun.co.uk)	(73)
(Some Fugly Guy)	Robert Pattinson whines that his recent sparkly fame has only attracted underage teens, overweight moms (imnotobsessed.com)	(88)
	Britney Spears would run for president on the controversial "pie for everyone" platform. Hopefully we're talking about baked goods here (contactmusic.com)	(61)
	Hugh Grant keeps talking about wanting to quit acting. Judging by his work over the past 10 years, it might not be such a bad idea (google.com)	(40)
	IMDB announces its results for the top 15 films of the decade. Shockingly, Transformers 2 doesn't make the cut (imdb.com)	(346)

Tue August 18, 2009

(Some Guy)	Harold Ramis Responds to the Groundhog Day Timeline Analysis (heebmagazine.com)	(131)
	Christopher Nolan abandons plan to ruin TV show "The Prisoner" to start work on another Batman flick (contactmusic.com)	(174)
	Michael Jackson's burial is a closely guarded secret according to this article that states its time and place (google.com)	(36)
	Anthony Bourdain gives props to "No Reservation" producer for Thailand location choices. "It was a dumb-ass thing to do, go looking for a riot. But brilliantly and heroically dumb-ass. The kind of dumb-ass we like" (anthony-bourdain-blog.travelchannel.com)	(94)
	Eli Roth: "There's nothing worse that can be said about me that wasn't already said after all three of my films" (avclub.com)	(45)
	John Cleese reaches $19.7 million divorce settlement, flees country with Jamie Lee Curtis (salon.com)	(54)
	Book on Nazi camp brothels has probably already been optioned by Quentin Tarantino (boston.com)	(43)
	Eight World War II films to watch before 'Inglorious Basterds'. 'List fails without...' to the right (starpulse.com)	(341)
	"Grey's Anatomy" actor threatens to sue any and all who air the tape of him and two women sitting around naked and high and being breathtakingly stupid (tmz.com)	(73)
	The Time Traveler's Wife is being turned into a TV show. The plans are to go back in time and not cancel Journeyman (slashfilm.com)	(93)
(Some Guy)	Seven movie FX scenes that changed everything. Fantasy sequence from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" disqualified (mania.com)	(211)
	Amy Winehouse wants to have a baby. Child services prepares for the inevitable (contactmusic.com)	(43)
	Lady Gaga to tone down her act for her Israeli shows, will not flaunt her uncircumcised penis (contactmusic.com)	(70)
	Shania Twain's next big hit will be "Man, I Feel Like Judging No-Talent Ass Clowns on American Idol" (contactmusic.com)	(78)
	Gwyneth Paltrow hates Scarlett Johannson's sharp knees (entertainment.blogs.foxnews.com)	(79)
	Tony Romo really dumped Jessica Simpson because she's an embarrassing, fall-down sloppy drunk (starpulse.com)	(74)
	If you had Noxzema Girl in your celebrity threesome sex-tape office pool, please step forward and claim your prize (Not safe for work) (gawker.com)	(107)

Mon August 17, 2009

	Steve Harvey joining Good Morning America. I would make a joke, but there's nothing funny about Steve Harvey (variety.com)	(49)
	District 9 joins a long list of movies which are brilliant for 95% of the running time, but are ultimately undone by a clumsy final shot (slashfilm.com)	(309)
	Sony Pictures says if they can't get Sam Raimi, Tobey Maguire, and Kirsten Dunst on board for Spider-Man 5 and 6, then fark it, they're gonna do a reboot (variety.com)	(137)
	Katy Perry: "I remember really vividly kneeling by my bed as a nine-year-old, saying my prayers and asking God to give me boobs that were so big that if I laid on my back I wouldn't be able to see my feet." Boobs (contactmusic.com)	(604)
	Being a reporter during these days of press decline is a bummer. Unless your assignment is to go eat a steak at Score's strip club (SFW, sadly) (nypress.com)	(33)
(Some Guy)	Johnny Depp to play Barnabas Collins in Dark Shadows movie, kick Robert Pattinson in his sparkly crotch (newswatch50.com)	(72)
	"Imagine the animator whose life's work has boiled down to re-creating a dog's oversized exit portal, and you get the sense of desperation that wafts off the entire series" (news.yahoo.com)	(62)
	Three ways Hollywood keeps ruining your childhood (seattlepi.com)	(75)
	Jane Fonda is planning to make her latest lover her fourth victim, er, husband (contactmusic.com)	(44)
	There is no god (hollywoodreporter.com)	(136)