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Sun August 09, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(New! Magazine) Obvious Mischa Barton is a mess waiting to happen  (new-magazine.co.uk) (49)
(Celebitchy) Amusing Victoria Beckham, ecstatic about hosting American Idol, fears her face will split, crack and form a smile: "I'm going to try hard to pout and not shatter the illusion that I'm a moody cow"  (celebitchy.com) (22)
(Some Republic Commando) Interesting You know that the concept of "continuity" in Star Wars is out of control when a well-established author abandons an entire series of novels and swears never to return because no one at Lucasfilm knows what the hell is going on  (karentraviss.typepad.com) (142)
(HitFix) Obvious Is 'GI Joe' crashing already? Ominously, even with $56 million, it fell 18% Friday to Saturday  (hitfix.com) (103)
(New York Daily News) Obvious Master of Japanese animation Hayao Miyazaki has new hand-animated film coming out next week that just MIGHT be better than computer-animated "GI Joe"  (nydailynews.com) (68)
(Badmouth.net) Sad Everything that is wrong with television, summed up in a handy chart  (badmouth.net) (135)
(Some #9) Silly Hundreds of Britons with nothing better to do lined up outside Abbey Road Studios to watch three Beatles impersonators and Ringo recreate the historic Abbey Road album cover  (nme.com) (20)
(Time) Obvious Review: Ang Lee's new film "Talking Woodstock" is his "first total miscalculation, his first wholly inessential film." Subby thinks the reviewer must not have seen what Lee did with "Hulk" a few years back  (time.com) (46)
(Contact Music) Followup Among Michael Jackson's pharmacological cocktail was Depo Provera, a drug to reduce sex drive, given to him because a doctor was thinking of the children  (contactmusic.com) (40)
(Contact Music) Cool Liv Tyler says that her favorite hobby is to visit a Korean bath house and just be nude  (contactmusic.com) (53)
(Contact Music) Followup William Petersen may return to the most innacurate, ridiculously unbelievable "police" drama on television  (contactmusic.com) (54)
(Starpulse) Obvious Ashton Kutcher: "I deserve to be made fun of."  (starpulse.com) (38)
(Some Guy) Amusing Chicks in bikinis reading scenes from Star Wars, Pulp Fiction, The Big Lebowski (includes profanity)  (whipitoutcomedy.com) (40)
(London Times) Obvious Faced with expiry of copyright in 2012, estate of James Joyce grudgingly allows budget version of Ulysses to be published so millions more people can not read it  (timesonline.co.uk) (71)
(Daily Mail) Sad Kelly Osbourne is talking to her doctor about reducing the one attractive thing about her  (dailymail.co.uk) (78)

Sat August 08, 2009
(Variety) Fail Jesus tap-dancing Christ. "GI Joe" pulls in a record August opening for a non-sequel. Tag is for you America  (variety.com) (233)
(Hollywood Dump) Amusing Halo movie, that was on, then too expensive, back on, then dead, is now back on with Spielberg in charge (maybe)  (hollywooddump.com) (45)
(AOL) Amusing Travel through time to revisit the last funny and hip magazine to be published: SPY  (comedy.aol.com) (40)
(UPI) Dumbass Jonas Brothers apologize, send gifts to brides whose weddings were ruined by their insane fans at the hotel. Because a toaster from a millionaire virgin makes up for ruining the most important day of your life  (upi.com) (65)
(Canoe) Obvious Seth MacFarlane wants "Family Guy" to end in a couple years: "Every show starts to suck after a certain point. And we could already be there for all I know"  (jam.canoe.ca) (131)
(ABC News) Interesting Company that insured Michael Jackson's comeback shows in London may have found an extremely profitable loophole  (abcnews.go.com) (10)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Brad Pitt likes to fool around with Angelina Jolie in his own private waterfall behind his mansion. So yeah, he is better than you  (dailymail.co.uk) (47)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Amusing Robert Ebert: "This movie is certainly better than 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.' How so? Admittedly, it doesn't have as much cleavage"  (rogerebert.suntimes.com) (90)
(Contact Music) Interesting Jessica Simpson's mother still speaks to all of Jessica's ex-boyfriends, most likely in a vain hope that one of them will be desperate enough to come back and take the dim bulb off her hands  (contactmusic.com) (28)
(Contact Music) Obvious Sienna Miller doesn't like any of the movies she's appeared in. Well, we daresay you're not alone, Sienna  (contactmusic.com) (33)
(The Pulse) Amusing The ten best movie sequels of all time. Bonus: not a slideshow. Fail: "Caddyshack 2" makes the list  (chattanoogapulse.com) (109)
(Entertainment Weekly) Obvious "NBC, they're sort of the bastards to hate right now"  (watching-tv.ew.com) (69)

Fri August 07, 2009
(Contact Music) Silly Shakira says that in order to attend lectures while at college, she disguised herself as a "boy." A boy carrying two giant water balloons in his chest, apparently  (contactmusic.com) (97)
(Dlisted) Scary Lady Gaga: "I have both male and female genitalia, but i consider myself a female. Its just a little bit of a penis and really doesnt interfere much." Penis  (dlisted.com) (164)
(Some Guy) Obvious Bollywood filmmaker sued for plagiarism as thousands of other directors noticed he stole the idea of a mass dance scene in which the hero and heroine appear to kiss in a close-up but really don't  (channel4.com) (13)
(Contact Music) Cool "24" producers considering axing the show after 8th season because THEY'RE RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS  (contactmusic.com) (48)
(Some Guy) Sappy "Signed, John Hughes" - long time penpal of the 80's director shares why he got out of Hollywood and why movies sucked more because he did  (wellknowwhenwegetthere.blogspot.com) (156)
(Starpulse) Amusing Quentin Tarantino welcomed Eli Roth's Jewish parents to the Berlin set of "Inglourious Basterds" by having the extras sing "Happy Birthday" to them. Bonus: the extras were Nazis led by Hitler  (starpulse.com) (39)
(Celebitchy) Amusing Joaquin Phoenix rises up from the ashes of crazy to buy a cape  (celebitchy.com) (51)
(Fanbolt) Amusing Joss Whedon: Angel Could Kick The shiat Out Of Robert Pattinson  (fanbolt.com) (149)
(Metro) Amusing In an effort to reach other witty talented individuals, Seth Green to stop by roller-rink in Indianapolis- wait, what?  (indianapolis.metromix.com) (14)
(FilmDrunk) Interesting Here ya go: A headline that announces not only a totally unnecessary remake of "Enter the Dragon," but also that Bruce Lee had a gay affair with some Korean guy  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) (25)
(Now Magazine) Amusing Salma Hayek's career is really taking a dive  (nowmagazine.co.uk) (121)
(ABC News) PSA If you've posted nude photos of Vanessa Hudgens, prepare to get sued. So, what have we learned about Hudgens? She's got decent knockers, she's litigious, and she needs a shave  (abcnews.go.com) (233)
(NYPost) Stupid Michael Jackson's brain returned to family after coroners wring one last album out of it  (nypost.com) (50)
(Telegraph) Obvious The G.I. Joe movie is terrible. So, now you know and knowing is half the battle  (telegraph.co.uk) (357)
(Reuters) Interesting Manager accuses LaToya of stealing hard drives full of unreleased Michael Jackson songs when the family descended on the house like buzzards and hauled the rented furniture away  (reuters.com) (41)
(Philly) Sad As another decade comes to an end, Regis asks us again if that is our final answer  (philly.com) (41)
(Some Guy) Cool After about ten years, Boondock 2: All Saints Day set for theatrical release. Bet you can't guess when it opens  (reelzchannel.com) (157)

Thu August 06, 2009
(Variety) Asinine NBC to reboot "Rockford Files", hires creator of "House" to reimagine Jim Rockford for modern times. Somewhere, Erik Estrada is licking his chops  (variety.com) (102)
(USA Today) Scary Someone decided it would be a good idea to give Chris Kattan a visa and a starring role in a Bollywood production. This has "international incident" written all over it  (usatoday.com) (28)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Man watches every episode of Friends in non-stop 84-hour marathon: "I love Friends, but this did indeed hurt. At around 72 hours I wanted to die"  (dailymail.co.uk) (84)
(Some Muppet) Fail "Sesame Street" throws a big, fuzzy foam finger up at the generations who grew up on it  (thrfeed.com) (134)
(MTV) Fail First episode of Jay Leno's new show to feature performances by Jay Z, Rihanna, and Kanye West. It's like NBC and Leno hope the show fails before it even airs  (mtv.com) (72)
(Newsweek) Sad Don't you, forget about him. Don't, don't, don't, don't  (blog.newsweek.com) (584)
(Starpulse) Stupid Fox won't air a Family Guy episode about a perfectly legal medical procedure. The manatees are reportedly very unhappy  (starpulse.com) (274)
(Variety) Dumbass Tom Sizemore arrested. This is not a repeat from 2003. Or 2004, 2005, 2007, 2008, January, March or May  (variety.com) (27)
(Variety) Cool Good news: Al Pacino has left the agent that put him in 'Righteous Kill' and 'Two For the Money' and returned to the agent that put him in 'The Godfather,' 'Serpico,' and 'Dog Day Afternoon.'  (weblogs.variety.com) (31)
(Mirror.co.uk) Interesting Brad Pitt admits he was typecast when hired to play Lloyd in True Romance  (mirror.co.uk) (68)
(New York Daily News) Stupid NBC, 1979: "Real People" tv show. NBC, 2009: "Real People" tv show  (nydailynews.com) (59)
(The Sun) Followup There's gonna be less of K-(over)fed to kick around soon  (thesun.co.uk) (29)
(Some Guy) Fail NBC's road to success: Cut more special effects from a show about superpowers, announce your biggest upcoming series is 'not necessarily having a second season', and call your viewers dumb. Brilliant  (airlockalpha.com) (123)
(CBC) Amusing Paula Abdul's 10 most dubious achievements  (cbc.ca) (23)
(Bitten and Bound) Followup American Idol gave the boot to Paula Abdul and will welcome Victoria Beckham with open arms....if only temporarily  (bittenandbound.com) (37)
(Yahoo) Cool Ben Lyons and Ben Mankiewicz fired from "At The Movies" Roger Ebert seen laughing while Ben Lyons to go back to taking pictures of himself with Celebs  (news.yahoo.com) (59)
(WFTV) Sad "On the Waterfront" screenwriter dies at 95. He coulda had class. He coulda been a cadaver  (wftv.com) (27)

Wed August 05, 2009
(MTV) Stupid Jim Henson's son announces plans for "Fraggle Rock" movie, "Dark Crystal" sequel. Your childhood begs for mercy  (moviesblog.mtv.com) (130)
(FilmDrunk) Stupid Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba, Don Johnson, Steven Seagal: One thing for sure, upcoming "Machete" won't be winning any performance awards  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) (78)
(People Magazine) Obvious Rosie O'Donnell denies that her partner has somehow escaped her gravitational field  T-Shirt  (people.com) (33)
(Travel Channel) Amusing Anthony Bourdain attends premiere of Julie & Julia, accidentally encounters Sandra Lee. "I'm pretty sure, judging by the vestigial ectoplasm on my jacket that I was sideswiped by pure evil"  (anthony-bourdain-blog.travelchannel.com) (181)
(NYPost) Interesting NBC wants Paula Abdul. "Yeah. I think she is a huge talent," says network's reality show head, Paul "Oh, Sure, I'm Very, Very High" Telegdy  (blogs.nypost.com) (23)
(Pal Item) Sad Fans miffed that Foreigner won't refund $22 tickets for cancelled concert. In other news, people pay $22 to see Foreigner  (pal-item.com) (96)
(Contact Music) Cool Katy Perry is in awe of Gwen Stefani's staying power and her continued artistic integrity. And then they totally started hungrily making out. Okay that last part isn't true  T-Shirt  (contactmusic.com) (103)
(Variety) Interesting Profits at Tokyo Disneyland fall by 78 percent due to bad weather, fear of swine flu, and underperforming used Snow White panties vending machines  T-Shirt  (variety.com) (27)
(Some Guy) Fail In a new high mark for PR desperation, Paramount announces that the new GI Joe movie 'might' be better than Transformers 2  (movieretriever.com) (218)
(Variety) Stupid Always the font of creativity, CW to remake old TV shows. Expect "Petticoat Junction 2009," "Mister Ed" with Wilbur a sexy blonde who solves crimes, and "All in the Family" in which Archie is a transgendered Indian  (variety.com) (103)
(Tucker Max) Amusing "What are you doing? Talking to the turtles. Are they telling you to kill the fat girl behind us? Cause that's what they're telling me." (Sponsored Link)  (ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com) (201)
(Slate) Obvious Why CNBC audience numbers are down 28 percent: "CNBC gets its best ratings when the markets are tanking and as the fear of wholesale failure subsided, CNBC began to lose some of its appeal"  (slate.com) (35)
(Examiner) Fail Celebrity DEFCON 1: Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan hit the L.A. night scene  (examiner.com) (87)
(Contact Music) Interesting Upcoming episode of Medium will feature Patricia Arquette digitally inserted into Romero's Night of the Living Dead. Her character is expected to survive, as zombies always go for brains  (contactmusic.com) (74)
(Contact Music) Silly Oklahoma City plans to unveil statue of nude, breastfeeding Angelina Jolie. This is great news for residents of Oklahoma, who apparently have no access to the internet  (contactmusic.com) (40)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Spiffy Paula Abdul quits "American Idol" via Twitter  (thrfeed.com) (104)

Tue August 04, 2009
(Some Guy) Spiffy Let me tell you something, Mean Gene: Jesse Ventura is coming back, and when he comes back he is going to have a new tv show about conspiracy theories. HOORAH  (am1500.com) (68)
(Epicurious.com) Interesting The Food Network has a Wii game out. To complete the Sandra Lee level, just stir some almond extract into a can of icing and make a vodka smoothie  (epicurious.com) (225)
(London Times) Obvious The 10 most historically inaccurate movies of all time. 'Every U.S.-made movie dealing with the Second World War' inexplicably absent  (entertainment.timesonline.co.uk) (326)
(Sun Sentinel) Amusing Kurt Cobain memorial playground monument- "Drugs are bad for you. They will f--- you up."  (southflorida.sun-sentinel.com) (57)
(NYPost) Followup Robert Downey Jr.'s take on Sherlock Holmes may not play in the flyover states  (nypost.com) (209)
(E! Online) Video Why Chelsea Handler is way worse than your boss  (eonline.com) (83)
(Honolulu Advertiser) Interesting Hawaii Tourism Authority publishes angry press release about "A Perfect Getaway". Just kidding, they like the publicity and trust people to tell fact from fiction  (honoluluadvertiser.com) (41)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting The winners and losers of summer blockbuster season 2009. In brief: Star Trek = good. Eddie Murphy = oh dear  (denofgeek.com) (143)
(Egotastic) Spiffy There's probably a good reason why Jennifer Love Hewitt is playing tennis in a bikini and a pair of espadrilles, but who cares? (Not safe for work links at site)  (egotastic.com) (195)
(The Sun) Sick Ryan O'Neil hits on his own daughter Tatum at Farrah's funeral. Dude, that is so not the right time  (thesun.co.uk) (104)
(Some Guy) Interesting Five Canadian horror movies worth watching. Not the best, eh, but pretty darn good  (moviesonline.ca) (112)

Mon August 03, 2009
(IGN) Interesting "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" has a kung fu gripping plot and doesn't suck half as bad as you've heard  (movies.ign.com) (152)
(HitFix) Dumbass You know your career is over when you are putting ads on your CD packaging. Way to go Mariah  (hitfix.com) (29)
(MSNBC) Spiffy Let's Make a Deal returning to TV with Wayne Brady as host. Pick Door #1 or curtain #2 but hurry up and make a decision or he'll choke a biatch  (msnbc.msn.com) (50)
(Newsweek) Scary Three words, prison... beauty... contests  (newsweek.com) (38)
(Some Guy) Hero Andre the Giant consumed 7,000 calories of alcohol on a daily basis. His bar bill during shooting of "The Princess Bride" was $40K. He once drank 119 bottles of beer in six hours. I say we canonize the dude  T-Shirt  (drunkard.com) (157)
(Starpulse) Asinine Tom Cruise's 'Lestat' named top vampire of all-time  (starpulse.com) (218)
(Stuff) Stupid It's one of the defining questions of our modern age. Does Eminem have nude pictures of Mariah Carey?  (stuff.co.nz) (65)
(Digitalspy) Obvious Piers Morgan is subby's new favorite celebrity: "That whole Russell Brand thing, I don't get it. The idea that he is some huge international acting star is ridiculous"  (digitalspy.com) (40)
(Cinematical) Sad Michael Moore to stop making documentaries and start working on much awaited "Canadian Bacon" sequel  (cinematical.com) (44)
(Fox News) Stupid Jenna Jameson to pose for Playboy. This is like closing the barn door after the horse has gotten out, been ridden hard by 6000 jockeys and turned into dog food  T-Shirt  (foxnews.com) (115)
(IMDB) Spiffy X-Files going XXX. "Fans will be amazed. We'll have to dye our Scully's hair - but she's a dead ringer."  (imdb.com) (53)
(OK! Magazine) Obvious Ex-manager: Paris Hilton is her own worst enemy  (ok.co.uk) (28)
(NY Magazine) Spiffy "Mad Men's" Christina Hendricks: "It's strange how astounded people are that I have breasts." And thankful, honey, they're damn thankful  (nymag.com) (281)
(New York Daily News) Scary Octodad, Jeter, Diddy, Lohan: meet New York's toxic bachelors  (nydailynews.com) (38)
(Some Guy) Sad When novelists sober up, or why Stephen King hasn't written a good book in twenty years  (moreintelligentlife.com) (130)
(Slate) Interesting Is Elisabeth Hasselbeck the Jenny McCarthy of the gluten free diet?  (slate.com) (164)

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