FARK.com: Showbiz links -- Archives for 2009-08-02

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Sun August 02, 2009

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
(Some Nguyenner)		Alas, poor Yorick I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he OH MY GOD HE'S EATING ME (goldstar.com)	(49)
		"Funny People" is number one at the box office. But don't get too excited; it has the second-lowest draw for a number one movie, a record held by Jim Carrey's "Yes Man" (reuters.com)	(125)
		Next on the list of classic films bastardized by Hollywood: Harvey, directed by Steven Spielberg (hollywoodreporter.com)	(70)
		Idealism meets reality, take #427: "Initially, I had reservations about doing '24' because of the politics. And then I realised, I don't have a job, so I put my reservations on the back burner." (bighollywood.breitbart.com)	(108)
(Some Root Hog)		He damn sure ain't gonna wash no dishes anymore. Happy 52nd Birthday Mojo Nixon, you magnificent bastard (mojonixon.com)	(46)
		Jessica Alba used to look hot in a bikini (thesun.co.uk)	(124)
		Reality show contestants find out the hard way that they aren't covered by union rules. Many are isolated for days, deprived of sleep and given booze to liven up the onscreen drama (denverpost.com)	(31)
(New Life Paradigm)		A handy guide to basing your life on things you learned from 'The Matrix'. Whoa (newlifeparadigm.com)	(30)
		Drew Barrymore belives she was a dolphin in a former life, which she claims explains her attraction to the acquatic mammals (contactmusic.com)	(46)
		Can Ridley Scott recapture the magic of 'Alien'? (denofgeek.com)	(68)
		Top 10 worst movie sequels of all time (examiner.com)	(233)
		1 dead, 15 injured when weather destroys stage at country music festival near Edmonton; the only good that came of this was it prevented Kevin Costner from performing (ctv.ca)	(37)
		Battling Alzheimer's, Terry Pratchett calls for right-to-die laws: "'I intend, before the endgame looms, to die sitting in a chair in my own garden with a glass of brandy in my hand and Thomas Tallis on the iPod" (dailymail.co.uk)	(138)

Sat August 01, 2009

(Zwire)	Carl's Jr. honored the King Of "Pop" by giving free soda to customers dressed like Michael Jackson. Unknown if pop came in little cans (zwire.com)	(58)
	Denver FM indie rock station may go web-only to promote pioneering "stripper radio" format, featuring perennial hits like "Baby Got Back," "Girls Girls Girls," and "Addicted to Love" (denverpost.com)	(42)
	Nick Cannon: "@eminem: Oh ya, well...YOU'RE SLIM LAMEY. You never even got to 2nd base with Mariah. SO THERE." Eminem: "I could murder Mariah." (msnbc.msn.com)	(71)
	Hollywood to remake Michael Curtiz's 1935 classic, "Captain Blood." Ideas included: Classic pirate era setting, present day Somalian pirate struggle, or... pirates in outer space. Guess which one got the greenlight? (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(55)
	What "Lost" is really all about (popwatch.ew.com)	(108)
	Seth Rogen on Kimmel plays video of him getting rejected by Megan Fox (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(66)
	Tim Burton fed up with politically correct parents and studios:"I had endless arguments with the studio heads who said, 'You can't have a main character that's got no eyeballs'" (contactmusic.com)	(50)
	Article: "Suspicious bag found outside Harpo Studios is Harmless". Hey, that's no way to talk about Oprah (cbs2chicago.com)	(21)
	Ever wonder WTF happened to the stars of the Sound of Music? Me neither. But you can find out here. So long, farewell (wgal.com)	(44)
	Wanna meet a rock star? Head to TJ Maxx in Cincinnati (news.cincinnati.com)	(34)
	Emma Watson's family tree reveals she's had an ancestor convicted of witchcraft in 1592. Wicked (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(56)

Fri July 31, 2009

(Some Bender)	Good News Everyone - Futurama signs original cast for 26 more episodes (toplessrobot.com)	(114)
	Talk show host Chelsea Handler upset that GLAAD ignored the fabulousness of her show, which has featured guests so gay even Bobby Trendy tells them to tone it down (video) (eonline.com)	(71)
	Seth Rogen goes on Stern and derides Judd Apatow's defense of Katherine Heigl's "sexist" comments about "Knocked Up," proceeds to bash Heigl as a hypocrite considering "The Ugly Truth" (news-briefs.ew.com)	(67)
	What your favorite sharp-kneed celebrities would look like without sharp knees. In other words, slow news day (dailymail.co.uk)	(42)
	Jericho still not dead yet. Set for yet another comeback (io9.com)	(77)
	Not only have Michael Jackson's autopsy results been postponed "indefinitely", the location of his body is "still unclear". Submitter trying hard to "give a damn" (upi.com)	(99)
	The verdict is in on Judd Apatow's "Funny People": He should have just called it "People" (nydailynews.com)	(109)
(Unique Scoop)	Rare Star Wars photos replete with 1977 Carrie Fisher adorability (uniquescoop.com)	(203)
	MC Hammer's cousin thought he could touch it, gets charged with rape (contactmusic.com)	(22)
	Seinfeld cast to reunite on Curb Your Enthusiasm. This marks the first show about nothing with no script about a show about nothing, or something (news.yahoo.com)	(49)
	Mark Paul Gosselear on Screech's upcoming tell-all book: "I can't wait to read his book, because I don't have a memory of a lot of the shows. Maybe it was because I was doing lines off of the audience members' asses" (blog.newsweek.com)	(93)
	Joe Jackson claims Omer Bhatti is Michael Jackson's fourth child. No word on if he beat him like other children (thesun.co.uk)	(17)
	Reggie Bush dumped Kim Kardashian because he found texts on her phone from Kanye West. No word if they were in all caps (radaronline.com)	(101)
	Lollapalooza promoters still searching for Chicago identity. If next year's theme is "Land of Government Corruption While We Beat Up Bartenders and Sell Occupied Graves for Profit", then they'll have nailed it (leisureblogs.chicagotribune.com)	(15)
	Los Angeles County coroner's office enjoys being in the media spotlight so much they've delayed release of Michael Jackson's autopsy "indefinitely" (upi.com)	(16)
	Ridley Scott officially returns to the Alien franchise (denofgeek.com)	(117)
	Roseanne Barr poses as Hitler baking gingerbread men in an oven for a Jewish magazine. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this (iheartchaos.com)	(133)

Thu July 30, 2009

(Jezebel)	Vogue editor: Discounts are killing the fashion industry. Can we have price fixing and collusion? Oh, that's illegal? "Is that something we can change? We have friends in the White House now" (jezebel.com)	(120)
	Ex American Idol contestant says show is rigged, sucks (popeater.com)	(59)
	Apparently, he's not too old for this shiat (tmz.com)	(58)
	Men At Work lose first stage of copyright infringement suit over their song, "Down Under". No, this is NOT a repeat from 1982 (google.com)	(81)
	Diane Keaton, possibly the least funny actress in Hollywood, to get an HBO comedy. La-di-da (hollywoodreporter.com)	(72)
	If you thought the Michael Jackson saga couldn't get any stranger, well, meet LaQuisha and LaQuanda (tmz.com)	(115)
	After 25 years, Nickelodeon to unveil a new logo, also a name change to NickFy (variety.com)	(180)
(NY Magazine)	Katherine Heigl complains of a 17-hour day on Grey's Anatomy and blames the producers. Who had the long day at Heigl's request to accomodate her schedule (nymag.com)	(129)
	Further compunding Time Warner's 34% drop in profit, AOL, a Time Warner company, launches an all-Nickelback radio station - Nickelback being signed to Roadrunner Records, a TW subsidary. Submitter wonders who exactly is to blame (aolradioblog.com)	(54)
	Why invest in stocks when movie posters give you a 300 per cent return? (theglobeandmail.com)	(73)
	Idiots publish books for idiots who can't get enough of shows starring idiots acting like idiots (usatoday.com)	(30)
	18... 19... 20. 20 doctors facing criminal charges from Michael Jackson's death. Ah ah ah (telegraph.co.uk)	(55)
	You want the moobs? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE MOOBS (tmz.com)	(76)

Wed July 29, 2009

	Oddly, the fact that Michael Jackson slept with a child-sized porcelain doll wearing a dress is the least disturbing thing about this story (telegraph.co.uk)	(57)
	"Bloodsucking is so yesterday. It's so 1994. It's so Anne Rice. Today's vampire is a good listener. He cares about our love lives and our problems, which is strange because we're supposed to be his food" (slate.com)	(210)
	"You can't show your nipples, apparently, in the States. But you can blow up anything you please in a movie or on TV." (dailystab.com)	(60)
	IHC, Asylum and a dozen other blogs have declared August 4th "No Megan Fox Day" to protest the Megan Fox media over-exposure. Megan Fox (iheartchaos.com)	(89)
	The 12 worst movie cliches. Let's get out of here (guardian.co.uk)	(175)
	Audrey Geisel's all-out war to strip-mine our beloved childhood memories continues apace as "Lorax 3D" goes into production (weblogs.variety.com)	(56)
	Just so you know, Brad Pitt bought another motorcycle (dailymail.co.uk)	(35)
	Paris Hilton says her sex tape bothers her every day. The lighting is horrible and the important stuff is out of focus (nowmagazine.co.uk)	(74)
	Hulk Hogan agrees on divorce settlement with ex-wife. Surprisingly, no steel cage involved (tmz.com)	(33)
	Just when you thought the Twilight movies couldn't get any worse, they're adding Bryce Dallas Howard to the mix (variety.com)	(66)
	'Heroes' season four trailer: Hayden's new sapphic love interest is her college roommate? Do we care how unoriginal that idea is? (thrfeed.com)	(91)
	New evidence that the entire cast of Seinfeld smoked a whole lot of pot on the set (youtube.com)	(85)
	Blockbuster Video unveils new unlimited rental plan for 10 dollars a week. Over 4 times what Netflix charges for the same, and Infinity-Plus-One times the price of an illegal download (finance.yahoo.com)	(183)
	Peter 'Lord of the Rings/King Kong/The Lovely Bones' Jackson blasts the film industry for it's "lack of original ideas" (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(47)
(TV Guide)	Because there are no gays in the future, the SyFy channel scored poorly on recent GLAAD rankings, but promises to be more fabulous next season (tvguide.com)	(112)
	Lionel Richie is dating Bai Ling; the couple is so happy they're dancing on the cei ling (contactmusic.com)	(41)
	An autobiography of the 1930's Tarzan movie chimp is a contender for the prestigious Booker Prize (foxnews.com)	(7)
	Jesus-freak whargarbl: Harry Potter will make your kids worship the devil. Nanny-state whargarbl: Harry Potter will make your kids into drunks (well.blogs.nytimes.com)	(206)
	5% of British children believe that Bob Geldof discovered gravity, possibly because it's the only logical explanation for why he sucks so much (telegraph.co.uk)	(86)
	Kanye West has declared Kanye West the new King of Pop (examiner.com)	(141)

Tue July 28, 2009

	Sociopath Joey Buttafuoco, whose 15 minutes is now entering its 17th year, is upset that his ex-wife shoots from the hip and blasts him with a sociopath label (abcnews.go.com)	(27)
	AC/DC's Brian Johnson urinates on Sputnik in Moscow. Ozzy Osbourne mumbles "ghfkin ahmtr ahn rthy dydj gherst." (contactmusic.com)	(63)
	Joe Jonas and Camilla Belle have split. If you know who either of those are, you should have a seat over there (msnbc.msn.com)	(61)
	New head of NBC plans no major changes, will keep the network on the 3:15 express train to Sucktown (hollywoodinsider.ew.com)	(58)
	Robin Williams makes a movie about guy whose son dies during an autoerotic asphyxiation accident (filmdrunk.uproxx.com)	(90)
(The Daily Beast)	Top five problems with romantic comedies: Clumsiness is not endearing. Not every hot single gal works in the media or publishing. Enough Matthew McConaughey already (thedailybeast.com)	(243)
	William Shatner reads Sarah Palin Farewell Speech (youtube.com)	(154)
	New "Nightmare on Elm Street" re-imagining to be darker, more intense, crappier (jam.canoe.ca)	(95)
(NY Magazine)	Interview with Aziz Ansari, the funny foreign-looking dude who likes dick jokes (nymag.com)	(28)
(HitFix)	Did Cameron Diaz give away the secret of her new flick 'The Box' at Comic Con? Yep, she sure did (hitfix.com)	(145)
	Madonna prepares to cover Carly Simon's "You're So Vein" (dailymail.co.uk)	(40)
	Mischa Barton slips out of psychiatric hospital, surprisingly not through the window bars (telegraph.co.uk)	(18)
(KGW.com)	Quadruple amputee will perform at Juilliard School of Dance. No, her name isn't Peg (kgw.com)	(65)
(Some Longbox Guy)	Expert calls shenanigans on Penthouse claim that San Diego Comics Con is a hotbed of wild, casual sex. And they wonder why Penthouse went bankrupt (comicsalliance.com)	(100)
(Some Isla Bonita)	Madonna's ex-boyfriend is auctioning off a tape of erotic messages she left on his answering machine as well as faxed "love letters" she sent him. It's 1990s era-Madonna, so expect them to be long and boring (nme.com)	(26)

Mon July 27, 2009

	Sacha Baron Cohen may have finally gone just a bit too far (telegraph.co.uk)	(100)
(OMFG WANT)	Concert tour of Star Wars kicks off in October, playing 40 dates in the U.S. That's 40 dates more than the typical Star Wars fan will ever get (billboard.biz)	(72)
	Even though they only make up 1% of the world, 42% of the characters on HBO shows are gay (hollywoodreporter.com)	(785)
	"My question is for Megan. I just graduated film school and I'm trying to help my career. I was wondering if you'd be interested in some kind of, like, celebrity sex tape?" (news.com.au)	(91)
	"I feel like a blue whale giving birth, or a pig going down on a hyena." (Very NSFW ads) (funnyordie.com)	(54)
	Mitch Winehouse to release album of Sinatra covers (contactmusic.com)	(19)
	Louis Farrakhan says there was a conspiracy in Michael Jackson's death, says the singer was a victim of "Zionist leaders"; Farrakhan also to take over Jacko's nickname (suntimes.com)	(47)
	8-hour World of Warcraft movie to feature cross-country gryphon flights for bathroom breaks (bbspot.com)	(210)
	David Cronenberg to bring Don DeLillo's Cosmopolis to the big screen, producing a movie no one will watch based on a book no one has read (cbc.ca)	(31)
	You knew it was coming: Michael Jackson to be nominated for Nobel Peace Prize (news.sky.com)	(178)
	The charred locks of hair from Michael Jackson's disastrous Pepsi ad are being turned into diamonds (adweek.com)	(27)
	Charlie Manson contacts Phil Spector behind bars in hopes of starting a singing career (contactmusic.com)	(26)
(Apple)	Hollywood has answered our prayers and made a movie about Andy Griffith getting laid. Seriously (apple.com)	(49)
	John Travolta reportedly scared to leave Church of Scientology, the closet (news.com.au)	(385)