FARK.com: Showbiz links -- Archives for 2009-07-05

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Sun July 05, 2009

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		That guy who played Harry Potter accepts the fact that he will always be known as that guy who played Harry Potter (contactmusic.com)	(88)
		Population of great American film directors has been reduced to Quentin Tarantino and Judd Apatow, as Hollywood decides that plotless special-effects movies directed by hacks are surer bets for success (independent.co.uk)	(142)
		Bob Geldof serves as newspaper editor for a day. Here's a preview: full-page Bob Geldof picture, Bob Geldof biography, Bob Geldof discography, help the world, Bob Geldof, Bob Geldof. Bob Geldof (upi.com)	(18)
		63 years ago today, the bikini was introduced (history.com)	(608)
(Some Guy)		Celebrities from Johnny Depp to David Bowie think Bikini Bottom is a cool place to be as SpongeBob SquarePants turns ten this month (edmontonsun.com)	(67)
(Never Tell Me The Odds)		New live-action Star Wars TV series reportedly filming right now in Australia, will be aimed at adults. But considering this is George Lucas we're talking amount, the odds of it being good are 3,720 to 1 (fanboy.com)	(142)
(Daily Mail)		Survey finds Conan still more popular among viewers who don't eat Metamucil for breakfast (blogs.dailymail.com)	(40)
		Another distinguished British actor signs up for "Harry Potter." That should be the lot of them (chud.com)	(49)

Sat July 04, 2009

	Film crew signs agreement not to ask Katie Holmes about her religion. In related news, Kirk Cameron signs agreement not to tell film crew about his religion (news.com.au)	(61)
(DigitalSpy)	To the surprise of absolutely nobody, Johnny Depp says he wants a female role. Submitter confused, thinking that's what he was playing in the Pirates movies (digitalspy.com)	(61)
	Swine flu almost killed Ron Weasley actor Rupert Grint. Better luck next time, swine flu (telegraph.co.uk)	(42)
	A 42-photo look inside Neverland. Includes obligatory half-naked young boy statue and some of the most bizarre MJ-themed 'art' you'll see, well, ever (nydailynews.com)	(123)
	Matt Damon wants Hugh Jackman to repeat as Sexiest Man Alive. Not that there is anything wrong with that (feeds.people.com)	(35)
	In celebration of July 4th, here's a look at the updated underappreciated art of firecracker labels gallery (i-mockery.com)	(30)
	Sarah Palin resigned in order to start...a talk show? (popwatch.ew.com)	(187)
	Terry Gillam on filmmaking: "If you really want your films to say something that you hope is unique, then patience and stamina, thick skin and a kind of stupidity, a mule-like stupidity, is what you really need." (cnn.com)	(33)
	Shrek sidekick Donkey voted the most-loved movie animal, slightly ahead of Joan Cusack (dailystar.co.uk)	(55)
	A celebrity bucks tradition and decides to name his new son something completely normal. Just kidding. Meet Otis Tobias Maguire (feeds.people.com)	(40)
	Alec Baldwin, next governor of Ohio? It's more likely than you think (upi.com)	(51)
(Some TV Blogger)	Cable TV networks such as SyFy, TLC, A&E, and Bravo increasingly blow off their painstakingly developed niche audiences in order to chase general viewers who prefer "vanilla soup of reality and broadcast repeats" (tvbythenumbers.com)	(124)

Fri July 03, 2009

(The Wrap)	David Lynch's daughter explains her 16-year hiatus after "Boxing Helena"; "three spine surgeries, I'm not fully fused with cadaver bones and titanium bolts" (thewrap.com)	(39)
	The hottest thing you'll see all day: Jessica Alba testing out mattresses yesterday in L.A (celebslam.celebuzz.com)	(60)
	"Viewmaster, the Movie" to team up with "Asteroids, the Movie" to make the worst double feature known to man (aintitcool.com)	(35)
	When crazy-ass worlds collide: Debbie Rowe wearing the Three Wolf Shirt. Really (dlisted.com)	(42)
	New Harry Potter film promises Riddikulus Boxofficus Totalus (uk.reuters.com)	(54)
	Amy Winehouse has been banned from swimming while drunk amdist fears she'll drown. Obviously, someone didn't get the memo (contactmusic.com)	(32)
	Lindsay Lohan's on again, off again, on again, off again relationship with Sam Ronson, that was back on again a couple weeks ago but really wasn't, is on again again (starpulse.com)	(31)
	Staples: you've got questions, we've got Michael Jackson's corpse on display next Tuesday (latimes.com)	(106)
	Obamabot debuts at Disney's Hall of Presidents (youtube.com)	(65)
	Robert Rodriguez hires Nimrod to direct new Predator movie. Dildo and Douchebag will get writing credit (kansascity.com)	(29)
	Was it wrong to wish I'd nailed Farrah on her deathbed? Should I not have done that? (bostonherald.com)	(62)
(YAY TELEVISION)	Your handy guide to 4th of July TV marathons. 'Twilight Zone' marathon is now airing on Scyfy, but it's the craptacular remakes until 8 AM Friday (charlierb3.blogspot.com)	(67)
	Gordon Ramsay's British restaurants get slammed by recession, forcing him to pump in $8 million of his own money to keep them afloat. What a nightmare - he oughta hire an adviser to help him turn business around (google.com)	(22)
	Shia LaBeouf: "It makes sense for me to date Megan Fox." Gee, you think, Shia? (nowmagazine.co.uk)	(57)
	Daryl Hannah: Why did I fly to West Virginia? To protest MTR mining, "which is criminal, yet legal." Why was she arrested? Because stupidity should be painful (huffingtonpost.com)	(83)
(WSIL-TV)	♫ 99 Stooges tattoos ♫ / ♫ Lamebrain, whatsamatter you? ♫ (wsiltv.com)	(14)
	Discovery Channel to air global catastrophe reality show (examiner.com)	(32)
	911 operator: "We can still try to help him. Put him on the floor and I'll tell you how to administer CPR." Billy May's wife: "Nah, forget it. He's freakin dead" (foxnews.com)	(79)

Thu July 02, 2009

	I-Mockery has started a campaign to get Mattel to produce the transforming skyscraper toy from the movie "Big". Zoltar currently pondering whether or not to grant this wish (i-mockery.com)	(26)
	Jay Leno wins the right for a Web address using the name for his new show. The squatters did not show why "The Jay Leno Show" was needed for a real estate business (sun-sentinel.com)	(27)
(Some Guy)	More from the media-fabricated Jolie/Aniston cat fight that will last the rest of their lives (accesshollywood.com)	(15)
	SyFy channel to the critics of its rebranding: You'll get over it (nydailynews.com)	(103)
	Michael Bay goes nuts after Megan Fox says "Transformers 2" isn't very good, claims he discovered Nicolas Cage and Ben Affleck (after they won Oscars)...and don't forget about making Will Smith a star in "Bad Boys II" (nj.com)	(124)
	Jermaine Jackson says that he wishes it had been he who died instead of Michael. Well, at least that would have prevented what is now one of the biggest media circuses of all time (contactmusic.com)	(23)
	Tori Spelling pens children's book. Look for "Your Nose is Too Big and Your Boobs are Too Small" to hit stores this fall (contactmusic.com)	(15)
	Gwenyth Paltrow to the US: You suck (celebslam.celebuzz.com)	(159)
	MJ: I copped a Feel. Or in his case, never copped a feel (atom.com)	(19)
	Face it, Kevin, you're fooling nobody. Complete with "Please believe I'm not gay" pic (dailymail.co.uk)	(128)
	Hollywood scrapes the bottom of the barrel and comes away with "Asteroids: The Movie." PEW, PEW, PEW (aintitcool.com)	(229)
	Want to strip then write a book? Here are common themes: You're someone we'd least suspect. But stripping feels strangely natural. And you're not like the ones doing it for meth (doublex.com)	(91)
	Hayden Panettiere says that her misspelled tattoo is "no big deal," because she doesn't have to look at it. But the rest of us do, Hayden. The rest of us do (contactmusic.com)	(161)
(Some Guy)	Local Council order Sir Cliff Richard to reduce the size of his erection by 30% (getsurrey.co.uk)	(12)
	Movie studios fail to realize that all you have to do to market to hipsters is tell them the movie sucked (reuters.com)	(147)
(Franklin Avenue)	Casey Kasem's "American Top 20" goes the way of a little dog named Snuggles (franklinavenue.blogspot.com)	(120)
	Kellie Pickler is dating Kid Rock. Submitter just threw up in his mouth a little (celebitchy.com)	(94)
(Some Peacekeeper)	A&E secures the rights to Farscape, will release a complete series edition on DVD & Blu-Ray in November. All thirteen fans have already put in their preorders (tvshowsondvd.com)	(103)
	Super model Karen Mulder assaults her plastic surgeon. Presumably for doing...whatever he did to her face (w/ do not want pic) (huffingtonpost.com)	(54)

Wed July 01, 2009

	DC Comics editor gets his panties in a twist over Supergirl's .....panties (npr.org)	(120)
	Wasting no time, producers aim to start work on a Michael Jackson biopic. At the top of their casting list is... Johnny Depp? (contactmusic.com)	(72)
	Interesting: "The Hangover" star Bradley Cooper ends Jennifer Aniston romance rumors. Amusing: by taking Renee Zellweger out for dinner (contactmusic.com)	(44)
	Griffin O'Neal was barred from attending Farrah Fawcett's funeral. Ryan O'Neal's daughter-in-law claims the bereaved actor is NOT a nice guy (bittenandbound.com)	(25)
	Five albums that should be tossed into a black hole. "We may never see the likes of Chinese Democracy again. And that is a very, very good thing." (wired.com)	(183)
	Amy Winehouse is coming out with a line of greeting cards. Under NO circumstances should you lick the envelope (celebitchy.com)	(24)
	Karl Malden finally leaves home without it (latimes.com)	(329)
	Michael Jackson's will has been filed. Debbie Rowe is batting 0-4 this week (hosted.ap.org)	(32)
	Four friends encapsulate the average American's response to Michael Jackson kicking the bucket. Michael would've wanted it this way (youtube.com)	(74)
	Beyonce steals a gimmick from NBA publicists & has poor sap propose during that annoying "Put A Ring On It" song. Now he knows how a Cincinatti WHO fan feels (radaronline.com)	(28)
	"Lost" writers request, receive extra episode for the final season, saying they couldn't possibly explain what the heck the Smoke Monster is in only 17 hours (aintitcool.com)	(189)
	TV critic says newspapers need more TV critics. After all, who else going to tell us we're supposed to like "Arrested Development?" (washingtonpost.com)	(67)
	Bartender to Mischa Barton last night: "I think you've had enough ma'am." (with drunkerific pics) (celebslam.celebuzz.com)	(57)
	Lindsay Lohan's career might be declining rapidly, but when you get paid $70,000 to attend your own birthday party, you must be doing something right somewhere (contactmusic.com)	(32)
	Mexican day laborers in LA form street theater troupe, perform for other laborers in corner of Home Depot parking lot (csmonitor.com)	(27)
	Johnny Depp admits that he never watches his own films. This contrasts with Michael Bay, who just appears to never watch his own films (news.bbc.co.uk)	(47)
	TLC announces new album without third deceased member "Left Eye" ... will it be called Third Eye Blind? (blogs.nypost.com)	(42)
	Robert Pattinson's aunt says he shouldn't date his Twilight co-star, surprisingly this has nothing to do with Peter Facinelli (starpulse.com)	(31)
	Not news: Liev Schreiber turns down the chance to perform with the London cast of "Glengarry Glen Ross." Fark: because he doesn't want to be away from his dog (contactmusic.com)	(53)
(The State)	Get ready to guess who farted, y'all: introducing your Miss South Carolina 2009 contestants (thestate.com)	(989)
	Police are nervous and anxious after fake Valium pills that make people turn blue and take off their clothes circulates around town (dailymail.co.uk)	(49)
(Some Guy)	In honor of 90210 casting 31 year-old Trevor Donovan as a high school student, Televisions 5 Most Unconvincing High School Students (thetvaddict.com)	(100)
	The Pirate Bay....purchased and going legit? *insert lame ARRRR joke here (kotaku.com)	(136)
	Lawyers want Alec Baldwin to run for governor of Ohio, not realizing he's really nothing like the character he potrayed in Glengarry Glen Ross (contactmusic.com)	(52)
	There is no Dana in "Ghostbusters 3." Zuul still unconfirmed (contactmusic.com)	(84)

Tue June 30, 2009

(HitFix)	Seriously. Seth Rogen and Barbara Streisand developing new buddy comedy (hitfix.com)	(14)
	Owners of Neverland Ranch send an open letter to Santa Barbara residens apologizing in advance for the impending MJ circus (tmz.com)	(30)
	With no help from the average Farker, Fox News goes 10 for 10 (politico.com)	(271)
	Lady GaGa thinks this wig looks good. Seriously (ok.co.uk)	(113)
	Simon Cowell offered $144 Million to return to Idol next season (nypost.com)	(69)
	Next dumbass to sue Sacha Baron Cohen over his upcoming movie is: Pauly Shore (starpulse.com)	(75)
	Wondering where Michael Jackson's chimp Bubbles has been? Wonder no more (wtsp.com)	(135)
	Weekly World News honors Michael Jackson the only way they know how: massive amounts of conjecture (weeklyworldnews.com)	(12)
	Rogen, Hathaway, Jackman, Franco, Rudd Join the Academy, are promptly hazed by Mahoney, Hightower, Sweetchuck, and Tackleberry (news.yahoo.com)	(46)
	The term "workaholic" is usually attributed to Lindsay Lohan's liver and nostrils, not the actress herself (starpulse.com)	(27)
	Amy Adams to star in a new movie about boxing. She'll play a "tough, gritty bartender" who's a former high-jumper. Good role for a woman who's barely over five feet and about as gritty as a ShamWow (hollywoodreporter.com)	(56)
(The Daily Beast)	Highest-grossing critically-despised movies of recent years. Shocker: "Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest" grossed more than $1 billion worldwide (thedailybeast.com)	(79)
	Michael Jackson to be immortalized in butter at Iowa State Fair (blogs.desmoinesregister.com)	(46)
	Pictures of Michael Jackson's tour rehearsal, just two days before his death. He actually looked good (starpulse.com)	(185)
	Kevin Spacey says he's sick of near-daily rumors that he's dead. In related news, submitter heard Kevin Spacey died (new-magazine.co.uk)	(73)
	Michael Jackson tragedy can serve as financial warning for every plastic surgery addicted, child bothering, pop star. So, Gary Glitter pay attention, everyone else, go about your business (chron.com)	(30)
(Some Guy)	The media covers the final act of Michael Jackson's death by reporting that the wall-to-wall media coverage is receding (centredaily.com)	(182)
	Evan Rachel Wood lectures Bono and The Edge about making depressing music. In related news, Bono and The Edge don't take Evan Rachel Wood to task for dating Marilyn Manson (contactmusic.com)	(69)
	Swedish tax authority attempts to freeze Chinese pop star's assets. Yes Wei (thelocal.se)	(10)
	Amy Winehouse's Caribbean home, hair fumigated (contactmusic.com)	(18)
	Leonardo DiCaprio: Oscar-nominated actor, film producer, environmental activist, victim of shoe theft (nowmagazine.co.uk)	(33)
	To folks still biatching about too much CGI in "The Transformers": At least the Pyramids were real. So nyah (usatoday.com)	(153)
	"Stay black:" Spike Lee's Do The Right Thing turns 20 years old today (blogs.tampabay.com)	(91)
	Jerry Springer feels pangs of remorse over how awful his talk show is: "We've been doing this show for 19 years now and I'm really sorry for that" (contactmusic.com)	(196)
	The television network that brought you "According to Jim" is planning to unleash fresh hell in the form of a sitcom starring Chris Kattan and Patricia Heaton (hollywoodreporter.com)	(38)
	Michael Jackson concert promoter would be happy to let ticketholders of the now cancelled tour to keep their tickets as a souvenir, so long as the promoter gets to keep their money as a souvenir (news.bbc.co.uk)	(70)
(Some Guy)	Top 10 Female Child Stars Who Became Hotties . . . Why don't you take a seat over there (not safe for church) (manofest.com)	(236)
	PETA wants to use Michael Jackson's first hit, Ben, for a new ad campaign. Apparently, PETA wants everyone to know hyperintelligent rats will kill you if they feel threatened (contactmusic.com)	(26)

Mon June 29, 2009

	John Romita, Sr. draws cover of Spider-Man #600. Ask the nerd you're beating up why this is a big deal (latimesblogs.latimes.com)	(74)
(Some Guy)	Mark McGrath challenges President Obama to quit smoking. President Obama challenges top men to invent time machine so he can travel back to 1998 and find out who the fark Mark McGrath is (ireport.com)	(81)
	Stan Lee to appear in Iron Man 2 as a talk show host on CNN. Larry King will also cameo as a profilic comic writer (movies.ign.com)	(48)
	Further evidence that Shia LaBeouf has dangerously strong telepathic powers: Megan Fox is romantically linked to him (contactmusic.com)	(90)
	The only person who has a copy of Michael Jackson's will is John Branca. The guy Jackson fired in 2006. You know, the same guy he rehired 3 WEEKS AGO (tmz.com)	(45)
	Diane Keaton injures her head after tussling with a sumo wrestler. Yes, there are pictures (people.com)	(17)
	Utah to its many rednecks: Don't shoot your old tube TV, morans (digtriad.com)	(156)
	Michael Jackson's parents file for custody of his three kids because they did so well with the first go round of child rearing (cnn.com)	(137)
	Why isn't Lindsay Lohan wearing pants? (wcbs880.com)	(189)
	Political correctness is like the "rock-paper-scissors" game. Different identity groups hold specific levels of power over others when their battles play out in the media. To wit: Black beats white. Gay beats white. Black beats gay (washingtontimes.com)	(161)
(Some Guy)	Impressionist and comedian Fred Travalena dead at 66 from lymphoma (etonline.com)	(77)
	Christian Bale "freaked out" his daughter by talking to her with a Southern accent, swearing at her for 20 minutes straight (contactmusic.com)	(77)
	Six awesome 80's movie montages that make no sense (cracked.com)	(100)
	Shia LaBeouf says he would rather "eat glass" than play Nintendo Wii. Now he knows how we feel about watching his movies (videogames.yahoo.com)	(101)
	I see a bad film a-risin' / I see a bomb on the way / I see CG and bad lighting / I see bad reviews today (aintitcool.com)	(42)
	Happy 83rd birthday Mel Brooks. Let's all give him a big Harumph (youtube.com)	(241)
	Joe Jackson is still a dick (gawker.com)	(111)
	The recent count of celebrities knocking on heaven's door is mounting with the death of McMahon, Fawcett, Jackson, Mays and now Gale Storm, 1950's star of My Little Margie. 1922-2009 (pics) (bittenandbound.com)	(39)
	Michael Jackson's kids with Debbie Rowe aren't his kids."I was just the vessel. It wasn't Michael's sperm. Just like I stick the sperm up my horse, this is what they did to me. I was his thoroughbred." (dlisted.com)	(256)