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Sun June 28, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Contact Music) Obvious Bear Grylls wants to spend a night in the wild with Jennifer Lopez. Who wouldn't?  (contactmusic.com) (67)
(LA Times) Unlikely HBO wants you to know that "Hung" isn't just about a really big penis. It's about the fraying of the American dream and the battered resiliency of the middle class. And a really big penis  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (71)
(MSNBC) Obvious "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" has $112 million weekend, $201.2 million since Wednesday's opening. Michael Bay last seen diving into huge pit filled with money  (msnbc.msn.com) (206)
(Now Magazine) Amusing Fat comedy star on why he's fat: "Eating is very pleasurable. I mean, if I'm big-boned it's only because I ate some big bones. I'm a greedy bastard. I like crisps and chips and chocolate. They're nice."  (nowmagazine.co.uk) (46)
(LA Times) Obvious Time Warner is thrilled that TMZ is starting to draw a lot of attention, thanks to their Michael Jackson scoops. Less thrilled by the fact that they're drawing attention to what a bunch of unscrupulous dirtbags they are  (latimes.com) (62)
(LA Times) Interesting Michael Jackson's last night alive was spent on stage doing a full run-through of his show at Staples Center, which was going to include a giant spider and a magic ball of light that flew around the audience  (latimes.com) (53)
(E! Online) Spiffy Hayden Panettiere on causing kitten genocide: "You Never Know"  (eonline.com) (139)
(Rolling Stone) Unlikely "There are still 17 months to go, but I'm thinking "Transformers 2" has a shot at the title 'Worst Movie of the Decade'"  (rollingstone.com) (195)

Sat June 27, 2009
(TMZ) Followup LAPD seeks 2nd "Doctor of interest" in Jacko investigation; "I don't have anything to do with his (Michael's) medication or health. This is B.S.-why should I talk to police?"  (tmz.com) (88)
(The Pulse) Amusing (((Shia LaBeouf + Megan Fox)*(Decepticons and Autobots sparring around the globe) - No Good Writers) + (John Turturro in Transformers - John Turturro in O Brother Where Art Thou?))*($9 + $15) = $708,272,592 worldwide  (chattanoogapulse.com) (175)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Fail Marilyn Monroe look-a-like contest held in Cincinnati. Tag says it all  (news.cincinnati.com) (103)
(New York Daily News) Followup Initial reports suggest determining the cause of Michael Jackson's death may take slightly longer than determining the winner of a Minnesota senatorial election  (nydailynews.com) (48)
(Yahoo) Cool 1,500 Filipino prison inmates made famous for their performance of Thriller come back to perform a posthumous encore tribute to Michael Jackson  (news.yahoo.com) (27)
(Some Guy) Amusing One Special person gets to meet his Special love.. Good for you rose boy  (toplessrobot.com) (46)
(Some Guy) Amusing Bruce Willis wants Idaho to build a new airport near his home to serve the local cummunity. "Mr Willis, where exactly is your home?" "Oh, it's right over there, next to my ski resort."  (idahostatesman.com) (33)

Fri June 26, 2009
(Contact Music) Weird Lou Reed storms off stage mid-performance during the grand opening of a new museum exhibit because the clinking of glasses during toasts were too distracting. Apparently, he needs a busload of silence to get by  (contactmusic.com) (49)
(TF.N) Cool John Williams' IMDB page confirms he's booked for an "Untitled Star Wars TV Series". One can only assume it is the long awaited Ewoks/Jar-Jar family sitcom  (theforce.net) (62)
(NYPost) Followup Michael Jackson's personal physician beats it like a smooth criminal after finding out authorities want to question him about the injection he gave him shortly before his death  (nypost.com) (121)
(CBC) Followup Michael Jackson's autopsy underway. Coroner struggling with first question: "Race: __________"  T-Shirt  (cbc.ca) (118)
(WWTDD) Amusing To atone for using a gay slur that got him punched in the face, Perez Hilton pledges to donate proceeds from lawsuit to the Matthew Shepard Foundation. Matthew Shepard Foundation: "How about no"  (wwtdd.com) (166)
(BBC) Asinine And the tackiest-Jacko-headline award goes to the BBC for "Africa cries for Michael Jackson". The parts that aren't dying of malaria, starving, or being mowed down in Darfur, anyway  (news.bbc.co.uk) (82)
(Contact Music) Strange Tulane professor says that the next mayor of New Orleans should be Brad Pitt. No word if he's pushing the George Clooney-Don Cheadle presidential ticket  (contactmusic.com) (36)
(Gawker) Fail Just when you thought you couldn't possibly despise Perez Hilton more, he reports on Michael Jackson's death  (gawker.com) (151)
(I-Mockery) Cool I-Mockery's tribute to Michael Jackson's "Thriller"  (i-mockery.com) (36)

Thu June 25, 2009
(The Hollywood Reporter) Scary Scientologists are back with a new TV ad that sounds like Morpheus enticing Neo to take the red pill  (thrfeed.com) (144)
(Chud) Interesting Restored from 1971, presumably with enhanced digital effects: an unknown George Lucas describes himself as "a toymaker that makes film". Vehicles sold separately  (chud.com) (15)
(Some Guy) Amusing Dane Cook's sister in law is accused of helping her husband (Cook's half brother) steal millions of dollars from Cook. Too bad she didn't steal his jokes  (popeater.com) (69)
(TMZ) NewsFlash Michael Jackson starts plans for Thriller 2  (tmz.com) (3857)
(Idolator) Fail For their "hottest bachelor" photo spread, People dress Bret Michaels up in revolutionary war garb because he's, uh... spearheading his own, hair-extension aided sexual revolution?  (idolator.com) (25)
(Some Guy) Amusing Focus on the family gets it wrong again: " I can't imagine that many in the audience really came to see robot testicles or small-dog erotica"  (pluggedinonline.com) (70)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting How scuzzy reality TV show producers troll for potential participants: They want the emotionally vulnerable and the pure evil  (chicagotribune.com) (31)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Obvious Ebert reviews new transformers: "This is not a story: A group of inconsequential human characters watch animation"  (blogs.suntimes.com) (204)
(Google) Interesting Rosie O'Donnell returning to the airwaves. Sirusly  (google.com) (38)
(Contact Music) Dumbass Kendra Wilkinson insists on having her honeymoon on a secluded island so she can walk around naked, forgetting anyone with an internet connection has already seen pretty much everything  (contactmusic.com) (81)
(Gizmodo) Interesting Advertising on the Simpsons costs more via HULU than on broadcast TV  (gizmodo.com) (55)
(Gawker) Unlikely The Soup will never be the same as Heidi and Spencer coverage is banned from E  (gawker.com) (99)
(Contact Music) Amusing "Transformers" star Tyrese Gibson: "I'm terrified of owls... I can't even look at the image of an owl." O RLY?  (contactmusic.com) (42)
(FilmDrunk) Dumbass Michael Bay on putting jive-talking, gold-tooth wearing, breakdancing illiterate robots in upcoming "Transformers": "I don't know if it's stereotypes - they are robots, by the way"  (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) (221)
(Celebitchy) Scary Courtney Love goes for the drug-filled umbrella stand look once again  (celebitchy.com) (47)
(SFGate) Amusing 27 year old hockey player calls off wedding to 39 year old Rachel Hunter. Although age may not have been a factor, taking on Robbie Williams' and Sean Avery's sloppy seconds could break any deal  (sfgate.com) (56)
(News.com.au) Followup Farrah Fawcett given last rites  (theaustralian.news.com.au) (258)
(Starpulse) Obvious True Blood's Stephen Moyer gets all "Dr. Evil" and calls Twilight's Robert Pattinson "the Diet Coke" of vampires  (starpulse.com) (115)
(Starpulse) Obvious Ratings were up as millions watched Jon & Kate's marriage fail; making it the first time millions got to watch marriage fail since election night in California  T-Shirt  (starpulse.com) (59)

Wed June 24, 2009
(TVWeek) Video Have you seen Valerie Bertinelli lately? I don't think you want to  (video.tvguide.com) (105)
(Macleans) Obvious Knock, knock. Who's there? Obama joke. Obama joke who? *silence*  (www2.macleans.ca) (200)
(UPI) Weird Slideshow of pics from the CMT awards includes a confused-looking Hootie, "Def Leopard" (sic) T-Pain, Darrel Worley's wife's epic funbags, and for some reason, David Keith  (upi.com) (88)
(Cracked) Amusing If everyday life was directed by Michael Bay  (cracked.com) (91)
(Anime Vice) Spiffy Interview with Peter Craig, writer for the live-action Cowboy Bebop: "The script stays extremely close to the show"  (animevice.com) (132)
(She kept his last name? Seriously?) Amusing If you're going to write a memoir about being shot in the head by your husband's mistress, "Getting It Through My Thick Skull" is one hell of a title. Well played Mary Jo Buttafuoco, well played  (hcibooks.com) (36)
(Yahoo) Sad Oscars doubling best-picture nominees to 10. Transformers 2 gets the nod  (news.yahoo.com) (173)
(Contact Music) Silly Liam Gallagher to star in a movie about a bandstruggling with sex, drugs, and ego after making it big. It will not be an autobiography, and no word on whether or not Liam's character designs clothes and furniture for hipsters  (contactmusic.com) (16)
(New York Daily News) Cool Foooooaaaaaaallllllll  (nydailynews.com) (50)
(The Sun) Dumbass Never one to let three trips to rehab keep him down, British actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers gets drunked up yet again and challenges airport cops to fight  (thesun.co.uk) (69)
(Some Guy) Silly With Iran in a revolution, the economy critically wounded and the US engaged in two wars, one local news outlet remembers what really matters: How much more awesome Optimus Prime has gotten over the years (slideshow)  (wsbtv.com) (81)
(Entertainment Weekly) Silly David Fincher in talks to direct "Facebook: The Movie"  (hollywoodinsider.ew.com) (37)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Emma Watson reveals she doesn't have a 'burning passion' for acting, and doesn't want to act again. Thank God porn doesn't require real acting and may provide a burning sensation  (dailymail.co.uk) (148)
(Celebslam) Obvious K-Fed avoids tax man, low calorie meals  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (27)

Tue June 23, 2009
(Entertainment Weekly) Followup TLC denies allegations that Jon and Kate haven't lived together since 2007, immediately chases waterfall  (news-briefs.ew.com) (59)
(WVNS) Dumbass Daryl Hannah arrested for putting her surgically enhanced nose where it dosen't belong  (wvnstv.com) (81)
(Fox News) Strange Elisabeth Hasselbeck of "The View" is being sued for copyright infringement by Massachusetts writer, blonde jokes  (foxnews.com) (31)
(Radar Magazine) Cool Johnny Depp leaves waiter $4,000 tip: Hollywood class acts are just endangered, not extinct  (radaronline.com) (130)
(Contact Music) Scary Morrissey hit by a truck, would like fans to not be miserable and realize he'll be alright  (contactmusic.com) (60)
(LA Times) Interesting Profile of the man who gave us Hillary Duff, Mylie Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers and other "tween" sensations, and why nobody has yet beaten him like an Iranian policeman on a protestor  (latimes.com) (175)
(Fox News) Dumbass Oscar winning writer of "You Light Up My Life" is arrested for rape of auditioning actresses. Punishment could include having to listen to that sorry excuse for a song for the remainder of his life  (foxnews.com) (63)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Megan Fox may be the single dumbest Hollywood star not named Lindsay Lohan  (dailymail.co.uk) (136)
(MSNBC) Followup Shia LeBeouf tries to clarify what he meant when he called his mother the "sexiest woman I know". Still manages to seem as creepy as that Uncle who wasn't allowed to babysit you  (msnbc.msn.com) (41)
(NYPost) Spiffy Fox News newsmodel files for divorce in clear defiance of God's will  (nypost.com) (43)
(Broadcasting and Cable) Silly SyFy is giving away free Wyfy in a stunt that makes you hope the channel will DyFy  (broadcastingcable.com) (126)
(WWTDD) Video Her ass might be showing its Greek heritage these days, but watching Kelly Clarkson laugh at Perez Hilton getting punched in the face is itself hilarious (nsfw ads on page)  (wwtdd.com) (144)
(USA Today) Obvious With Miley Cyrus rapidly approaching her Sell By date, Disney already has their next pretty young thing warming up in the Bullpen. They grow up and go on to rehab so fast  (usatoday.com) (89)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Stephen Baldwin quits 'reality' show citing insect bites, sandy vajayjay  (wbaltv.com) (44)
(Telegraph) Unlikely News: New Doctor Who Matt Smith's first appearance as the Doctor will be in a special this November featuring all eleven Doctors. Fark: Even the dead ones  (telegraph.co.uk) (127)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting The animated blockbuster movies that survived major mid-production changes. And the one that didn't  (denofgeek.com) (160)
(LA Times) Followup You know you suck when you're an outspoken gay man who's just been assaulted and GLAAD thinks that *you* are the one who should apologize  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (88)
(Kansas City) Stupid Jessica Simpson returning to reality TV with show entitled "The Price of Beauty." The Four Horsemen and a plague of locusts decide they couldn't send a clearer message; will stay on sidelines for this one  (kansascity.com) (20)
(E! Online) Followup Megan Fox "horrified" by her mistreatment of young fan. Plans to make it up to him as long as teen's mom will look the other way for a few minutes  (eonline.com) (95)
(Gawker) Asinine London, June 23rd 2009. As I submit this link I am wearing Jeans from [redacted] and a T-Shirt from [redacted]  (gawker.com) (10)
(ABC News) NewsFlash Ed McMahon dies at 86. He is survived as Cash4Gold pitchman by MC Hammer  (abcnews.go.com) (272)
(Reuters) Obvious "Transformers aims to recharge U.S. box offices". Which is odd, because usually the only transformers in the news are ones that have blown  (reuters.com) (21)
(UPI) Stupid Black Eyed Peas manager arrested for assaulting Perez Hilton. Rumor has it, Perez almost made a fist in his own defense, but didn't know what to do with it  (upi.com) (38)
(SlashFilm) Cool American studios are trying to give Japanese animination greater exposure in America, and will be releasing to new Hayao Miyazaki movie on almost 1000 screens. Here's the new trailer  (slashfilm.com) (163)
(Cinematical) Cool "Blade Runner" house for sale, in case you have $15 million to spare. Applicants must successfully answer 20-30 questions hooked to a Voight-Kampff machine  (cinematical.com) (105)
(MTV) Stupid Christian Bale says there might not be another "Batman" movie. What don't you f---ing understand?  (mtv.com) (109)
(SlashFilm) Interesting Whether the new "Heavy Metal" movie gets done or not, Tenacious D already have a song for it  (slashfilm.com) (25)
(AP) Cool National Pinball Hall of Fame to relocate closer to Las Vegas Strip, making it easier to capture tourists, have them rattle around exhibits, then flip them right onto Las Vegas Boulevard  (ktnv.com) (130)
(People Magazine) Fail For any guy looking to be continually emasculated on national TV, treated like crap, cuckholded, and overall abused, it's your lucky day: Kate Gosselin files for divorce  (people.com) (241)

Mon June 22, 2009
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Obvious Bryan Fuller leaves 'Heroes' for the second time. I bet Matt Parkman didn't see that one coming  (aintitcool.com) (49)
(Examiner) Asinine What does Britney Spears, time travel, Nazis and concentration camps have in common? A really crappy movie idea  (examiner.com) (69)
(LA Times) Sad "Nip/Tuck" cancelled, but its last episode won't air until 2011, hopefully without another scene of a doctor boffing a naked Rosie O'Donnell  (latimes.com) (53)
(Jalopnik) Dumbass Sarah Jessica Parker given warning for driving-without-headlights after explaining she didn't know how to turn them on. Add this to the list of things Parker no longer knows how to turn on  (jalopnik.com) (79)
(MTV) Silly M. Night Shyamalan talks "Unbreakable 2." What a twist  (splashpage.mtv.com) (124)
(Dlisted) Amusing We're all mad here: new pics from Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland  (dlisted.com) (152)
(3 News New Zealand) Dumbass Star of classic Beatles movie admits to being a douche  (3news.co.nz) (42)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting Spider-girl. Scarlet Spider. Kamandi. The Lost Generation. These and other superheroes who deserve a second shot at the limelight  (denofgeek.com) (101)
(TMZ) Hero Black-Eyed-Perez  T-Shirt  (tmz.com) (181)
(Contact Music) Followup After last week's injury on the set of Russell Crowe's Robin Hood, everything is back to normal. Except for the Kate Blanchett's nude mudbath  (contactmusic.com) (50)
(Cracked) Amusing Megan Fox: A poor man's Angelina Jolie  (cracked.com) (128)

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