FARK.com: Showbiz links -- Archives for 2009-05-03

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Sun May 03, 2009

(After Dawn)	Following in Fox's footsteps, Disney plans to remove all bonus content from rental DVDs. This'll be sure to curb piracy and improve sales	(69)
	Before going to see Star Trek, see Star Trek. No, not that one, the other one. Before that one, and yes before that one too	(95)
	American Idol winner runs in 5k Race for Hope against brain cancer and helps raise $97k. Announces to crowd after that his brother died yesterday.of brain tumor. w/vid	(31)
(Patterico)	Perez Hilton, who has relied on fair use exception in multiple copyright infringement lawsuits, lodges bogus infringement claim to suppress embarassing video. Obvious tag stands in for non-existent Hypocrite tag	(64)
	Victoria's Secret Angel Miranda Kerr says she's too busy to settle down with Orlando Bloom, adding that it has nothing to do with his flaming homosexuality	(50)
	It's that time of year again. David Hasselhoff rushed to hospital again for alcohol poisoning. This time with a BAC of .39	(84)
	"Wolverine" pulls in impressive $87 million over weekend. Studio to save piracy excuse for next week's huge boxoffice drop-off	(194)
	How do you make a movie called "Hot Tub Time Machine" even more awesome? Toss Crispin Glover into the stew	(31)
	Will your favorite "on the bubble" TV make it to the renewal promised land or suffer the cruel hand of network executive fate?	(138)

Sat May 02, 2009

	Papa of African girl to Madonna: "I've made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby"	(47)
	Megan Fox has laughed off rumors that she will play Wonder Woman, vows to never play such a "lame" character	(176)
	Wolverine does $35 million on opening day despite horrific reviews and the fact it has been on the internet for a month	(157)
(Some Guy)	Instead of attempting to nail his Transformers costar Megan Fox, Shia LaBeouf would much rather be trying to get into the pants of someone closer to home, his mom	(96)
	'Dollhouse' continues to prove there's no rating it can't do worse than	(199)
	NBC to delay announcing their fall lineup schedule due to the death of network exec. So you three Chuck fans are just gonna have to just grin and bear it	(97)
	NBC decides to renew a show which got middling ratings last year but they think has room for potential. No, not that one	(107)
(Wil himself)	Wil Wheaton not at Penguicon due to illness. Tens of Rock Band players despondent. Wheaton 300 vow revenge. "Wil Wheaton not showing up to Penguicon" trifecta in play	(26)
(Some Guy)	"In the way that TV does, Bea Arthur made it acceptable - and even cool - to be mean to people. Despite all the media outpouring, we don't owe her any thanks for that"	(56)
	Holly Madison gets fitted for a top-secret bridesmaid dress, which is so secret, they only revealed the story to the obscure little professional journal known as People Magazine	(21)
	Scarlett Johansson's directorial debut is a bust when her segment of a movie turns out so bad it is deemed unwatchable and completely cut from the film	(64)
	J.J. Abrams says Roland will start searching for the Dark Tower just as soon as those castaways get off that island	(239)
	Behold the most mind-blowing theory of Ferris Bueller ever: Ferris is Cameron's Tyler Durden	(103)
	From the too-good-to-be-true dept: Peter Jackson to go back to his Bad Taste/Dead Alive roots, with "The Christ Must Die" in which Nazi zombies go back in time to stop Jesus from being born	(34)
	Embarrassed Jay Leno reveals why he went to the hospital. "Poor people that work - they don't get exhausted. Only rich people get exhausted. It's an embarrassing thing"	(61)
(Some Guy)	Your prayers have been answered: Twisted Sister, Anthrax, Nelson, and Stryper are all playing at the same show in rural Oklahoma this summer	(72)
(Some Guy)	Miley Cyrus vows to wait until marriage to have sex. Just like Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, and Vanessa Hudgens	(205)

Fri May 01, 2009

(Some Guy)	Miss California, Carrie Prejean, called into Fox News and proved that she may not be the best spokesperson against gay marriage	(321)
	Jennifer Garner got sprayed by a skunk on the set of her new film with Matthew McConaughey, "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past". If only there was some sort of joke in there about what critics will be saying about the film	(29)
	Television series pilot kills NBC network programming executive	(65)
	Harry Knowles recommends skipping "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" not because he's seen it and thinks it's a bad movie but because Fox didn't invite him to a screening	(132)
(NYMag)	Watch William Shatner watching the "Star Trek" trailer for the first time: "I know I saw George Takei in that crowd scene"	(60)
	Which artist gets a lifetime pass regardless of the vast quantity of crap they churned out? Eddie Murphy is a long-time card holder	(104)
	What do Hobbit nerds do while waiting for the next big-budget movie? Create their own amazing chapter online, of course	(56)
	A bank error is the reason we now have to endure Andy Samberg	(84)
	Matthew McConaughey in talks with Richard Linklater about a "Dazed and Confused" reunion movie. The world awaits a creepy, aging Wooderson still using that "high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age" line	(59)
	If you think Barbara Walters outdid herself with the idiotic ramblings of Elizabeth Hasselbeck on "The View," wait till you see what fresh conservative hell she's considering unleashing on us all as a replacement	(86)
	Eleven time Vegas Entertainer of the Year Danny Gans died early this morning. Goodnight impressiony man	(88)
	With the economy so bad Liz Hurley is forced to recycle a dress from six years ago. Apparently (& thankfully) the economy had something to do with the building's lack of heat & her lack of underwear	(113)
	"Star Trek" premiere gathers original actors with new cast for red carpet photoshoot. Guess who didn't show up? (with pics)	(226)
	Gary Coleman is one pissed-off man. Of course, if I had pulled a groin muscle, was being forced to promote a movie I hated, and shilling candles online to make my mortgage, I guess I'd be a little short, too	(44)
	Fox News comes to the startling conclusion that D-list celebrities are more likely to wear skimpy bikinis to get attention. In other news Fox News comes to the conclusion that celebrities in bikinis guarantees your website gets traffic	(43)
	Paula Abdul talks about being an unwitting star of Sacha Baron Cohen's "Bruno" and his Mexican chairs	(27)

Thu April 30, 2009

	Top Gear 'is encouraging teen drivers to speed'	(66)
	Pete Townshend, showing signs of senility or irreparable acid damage, criticize Mike Myers for trivializing England: "Austin Powers has done a lot of damage to the image of swinging London"	(58)
	J.J. Abrams is fed up with the whole William Shatner not being in upcoming "Star Trek" issue: "you need to be consistent. He died"	(123)
	Kirstie Alley feels like she's let everyone down by regaining the weight she lost, tells Oprah she's Bantha fodder	(46)
	"Am I being disrespectful to this material? You bet... That Wolverine has been voted the No. 1 comic hero of all time must be the result of a stuffed ballot box"	(150)
	It's bad enough you're in jail, every time you go in the shower there's Boy George, naked and waiting	(34)
(Access Hollywood)	In further signs of the Apocalypse... Zac Efron named one of Time's Most Influential People In The World	(52)
(nbcchicago)	Blagojevich gets offer to to be on HBO program Cathouse. Prostitutes interested in hearing from a guy who managed to screw an entire state	(50)
	In its neverending quest to end every single episode with a cliffhanger, Lost decides to get rid of one of its most interesting characters and best actors. Again	(193)
	It turns out that Miss California's gorgeous chest was bought and paid for by the Miss California USA pageant organization......sweet. (pics)	(250)
	One of the stars of "Top Gun" comes out of the closet. Shockingly, not Tom Cruise	(90)
	Christian Bale bellyaches about crew members recording his infamous rant. Oh, and don't refer to any of his movies as "franchises." He really hates that	(112)
	The vapid plastic wife of King Douchenozzle von Crunk wants to pose for Playboy	(126)
	Husband and co-star of reality show "John and Kate plus eight" invites cheating rumors when pics surface of him partying late with another woman. [with "THAT guy?" ... "REALLY?" photo goodness]	(508)
	Ricky Gervais' career takes its inevitable downward spiral as he makes his first animated movie involving animals	(37)
	This is the face of the future	(59)
	'I'm not saying Susan Boyle caused swine flu. I'm just saying that nobody had swine flu, she sang on TV, people got swine flu.'	(82)
	"Top Gear may be forced to hire new presenters as part of a government push to make the show more gender and ethnically balanced"	(76)
	Why are so many stars plumping to have the "pillow face"? (with scary pics)	(55)

Wed April 29, 2009

	Eli Roth fears the Nazi propaganda film he did for "Inglorious Basterds" might be too convincing: "I'm going to, like, resurrect the Nazi party, they are going to make me their Sarah Palin"	(77)
	The onslaught of 80s remake continues: Robert Zemeckis talks "Roger Rabbit" sequel. P-p-p-p-please make it stop	(74)
	Princess Buttercup back on the market, sends ships to find dread pirate Roberts	(99)
	Michelle Obama, Christina Applegate, Dev Patel, and 2 of the 3 Jonas Brothers named to People's "Most Beautiful" list. Sucks to be the ugly JoBro	(109)
	Hugh Jackman wants people to see "Wolverine" so badly that he treated 800 of them to breakfast	(50)
	Mel Gibson and girlfriend Oksana go public. Mel's publicist: "it's nice to see him getting out and enjoying himself"	(68)
	X Men Origins: Wolverine: worse than the unholy love child of Ishtar and Heaven's Gate	(107)
(Some Leglocker)	70's & 80's wrestler "Playboy" Buddy Rose taps out. He's still alive to me, dammit	(79)
	Your daily news of crappy 80s remake: "Gremlins 3," "Clueless 2" and a reunion of "The Goonies." Wall-to-wall CGIs expected, to make those Gremlins and Corey Feldman more realistic and life-like	(56)
	X-Men, Superman and Batman: shameless rip offs	(77)
	Four reasons why Christian movies are overwhelmingly awful. Not surprisingly, all four can be corrected by simply adding lions	(241)
	In Sean Hannity's America, Kim Kardashian is a role model for young women	(109)
	Fox News is recognized as so biased and evil that viewers have made it the top-rated cable news channel in every hour from 6 a.m. until midnight, beating CNN and MSNBC combined	(716)
	In defence of Judd Apatow: "The real target of the criticisms aimed in Apatow's direction should be the directors and producers who have been content to deliver underwhelming comedies and sat back to count the cash"	(195)
	Help with swine flu is at hand: here are the 10 things the movies have taught us about virus outbreaks	(34)
	Sarah Jessica Parker preggers with twin mares. The rest of us will have night mares	(64)
	Sid and Marty Krofft talk Will Farrell's "Land of the Lost"	(33)
	James Gandolfini goes Tony Soprano on paparazzi outside restaurant. You don't shoot where you eat. And you really don't shoot where he eats	(79)
	'The Susan Boyle Story: Starring Catherine Zeta Jones' OMG MY EYES	(37)
	Shirley Jones to inspire a whole new generation to get happy, come on	(22)
	Kate Winslet: "I was bullied for being fat, but where are they now?" Submitter suggests that she look in his pocket, there's something chubby in there	(86)

Tue April 28, 2009

	"Wall Street 2" starring Shia LeBeouf	(80)
	Michael Jackson upgrades his kids with creepier masks	(73)
(Some Guy)	The Definitive Collection Of Awesomely Bad Wolverine Costumes	(79)
	"Hannah Montana's" Miley Cyrus may get all the attention and the cash, but "iCarly" is the most popular show among tweens. And, no, Miranda Cosgrove is not 18 yet, perverts	(97)
	♬ I am the very model of a modern octo-major general ♬	(138)
	The Supreme Court is tired of those monkey fighting expletives on Monday to Friday television	(238)
	Ridley Scott runs out of projects, considers "Alien" reboot/sequel/prequel or whatever would make money. As long as David Fincher is not involved, he'll look at it	(142)
	In a move reminiscent of Burt Reynolds in "boogie Nights," Don Johnson to portray a porn director, but in an Adam Sandler movie, so the chances of embarrassing himself are much higher	(15)
	Gollum makes an unexpected appearance in Maui, lost a bit of weight	(78)
	Universal to remake critically drubbed and commercially unsuccessful Drop Dead Fred with Russell Brand	(61)
	Keyser Soze to play real-life arch villain	(22)
	Mr. T pities the fool who didn't select him for jury duty	(100)
	Scrubs might be coming back for a spectacular Season 9 despite being threatened with cancellation in Seasons 6, 7, and now 8. What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap?	(63)
(Some Guy)	Pink spotted at LAX. No wait, that's Larry Wachowski. Never mind	(128)
	Although Magneto and Sabertooth are no match for Wolverine, Swine Flu is	(64)
(B&C)	NBC all but admits they will plow all their marketing dollars into Leno's new prime-time program, leaving Conan's "Tonight Show" to die against Letterman	(116)
	Lily Tomlin demands Seattle zoo free its elephants from their cages. Zoo expected to say they don't care -- they don't have to	(39)

Mon April 27, 2009

	Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right... MICHAEL VICK NO	(93)
	Another reason to love Hollywood. Zombie Bill Murray	(25)
	New Matthew McConaughey film is "the lamest and easily the worst revisionist take" on "A Christmas Carol." But, really, is there anything such as a "good" Matthew McConaughey movie?	(103)
	Proof positive that "Grey's Anatomy" is for lonely desperate women: nearly 1500 people have RSVP'd the wedding of fictional characters	(26)
	Armed robbers flee house after spotting a Dolph Lundgren family portrait and realizing they're tying up the actor's wife	(31)
(WSOC)	Son of wrestler Ric Flair arrested on DWI, heroin possession charges. WOOOOOO	(41)
	Torture in "24" vs. Torture in Real Life: A Comparison	(158)
	Britney Spears waddles around on stage, climbs a motorcycle and loses her tampon. The Aristocrats	(240)
	Kathleen Turner wants Solo and the Wookiee	(48)
	That guy who had sex with that girl who has that sister who used to be famous for singing or something has suffered a skull fracture in an accident	(31)
	Acclaimed anti-violence ad showing Keira Knightley getting beat up is "too violent" for UK TV	(76)
	Maagie Gyllenhaal aand Peter Sarsgaard aanounce maarriaage plaans for Itaaly in Maay. The aacting couple, daating aas of 2002, aalreaady haas aa daaughter named Raamonaa	(84)
	The Mayor of Boston is raven about giving Edgar Allan Poe honorary square	(24)
(Some Guy)	Robert Carlyle: "My Trainspotting character Begbie was gay"	(54)
	World's largest tub of popcorn being constructed as a promotion. You can wash it down with the world's largest cup of soda, also known in the movie theater business as a "medium"	(55)
	Madonna's fashion industry friends have been giving her Brazilian squeeze side jobs so he can come to the USA to be with her, since "Banging Madonna" doesn't quite cut it on the work permit request documentation	(37)
(Some Guy)	Tyra Banks' stalker tells police "We had a thing together. I sent her flowers. I sent her cards. Should I plead no contest? I've got satellites watching me and recording us"	(44)