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Sun April 26, 2009
(UPI) Spiffy "Obsessed" took the No. 1 spot in U.S. theaters this weekend. Eau de (76)
(SMH) Amusing Wiggles give up red, yellow and purple for green as they start charging parents $103 a year for access to online WiggleWorld (46)
(Reuters) Amusing People in the country that brought us tentacle porn cartoons and fish-flavored ice cream, are outraged that their top celebrity was found drunk and naked in a park (40)
(Newsweek) Spiffy How "Star Trek" is way cool now. Trekkies, still not so much (126)
(Mirror.co.uk) Obvious William Shatner: "How dare they make the Star Trek film without me? I'm now a bigger star than ever" (80)
(Sun Sentinel) Dumbass Medical professional says Lindsay Lohan looks "like she walked out of a concentration camp." Dr. Godwin unavailable for comment (74)
(News Of The World) Strange Michael Jackson pulls out of renting 28-bedroom mansion for his family on hearing it's haunted. Because you don't want your children staying in a place where they'll have the willies put up them  T-Shirt (76)
(Starpulse) Obvious Katy Perry finally realizes that there's just no other man willing to trade dealing with her annoying music and crappy fashion for those amazing boobies, and thus reunites with her ex-boyfriend (83)
(Variety) Spiffy Just to show you how not out of ideas Hollywood is, Robert Rodriguez is poised to make a movie from a trailer he wrote as intermission fluff. Oh, but it will rock (62)
(News.com.au) Ironic Miss Universe Australia has to lose her Aussie accent ay? So she talks like a farmer, eh? She's still pretty but (41)
(Entertainment Weekly) Unlikely English singers are more talented, but uglier, than American singers. Bonus: misleading headline (35)

Sat April 25, 2009
(UGO) Interesting Spoilers, spoilers galore about the new Trek movie. (Warning: Spoilers) (57)
(Paste Magazine) Cool 18 best lines from Caddyshack. Discuss to the right, no taunting (135)
(Starpulse) Unlikely There's a bigger douchebag than Dane Cook. At least according to Dane Cook (36)
(News.com.au) Obvious In Hollywood, thin is reportedly a new shocking trend. No this is not a repeat from 1995, 1999, 2003 or 2007 (35)
(The Scotsman) Amusing Legendary English historian insults Scotland on BBC TV as "feeble little nation." Scotland, as you might expect, shakes feeble little fists at him and demands apology (47)
(Fox News) Obvious Cool: Disney finally gets with the times and has a black princess. Cooler: Oprah is voicing the part of the mother. Vanilla Ice: Her prince is white, and people have a problem with it (138)
(LA Times) Sad Finally, a Bea Arthur story you can't fap to (453)
(Some Guy) Silly Slow news day: Hugh Jackman apologizes to the chicken community (12)
(New York Daily News) Misc Kate Moss porks out to a hefty 104 pounds, splits seam of $5,000 dress. Fattie (26)
(AP) Amusing May-Kate Olsen excited to be a Tribeca juror, says she's always had an open mind about the death penalty (17)
(AccessAtlanta) Interesting $22 milion civil case against Snoop Dogg begins. Man claims he was beaten, robbed and left naked in a pool of blood after he answered Snoop's call to jump on stage and party during a concert (23)
(Gawker) Stupid The greatest photo of three douchebags in the forest you'll see today (74)
(ABC2News Baltimore) Unlikely SPOILER: Desmond captures an Other, places his face on top of her breasts, moves his face from side to side and caresses the back of her body while making moaning sounds (71)

Fri April 24, 2009
(Movieline) Amusing Some guy tries to mack on Natalie Portman in New York, gets told to put his light saber back in his pants (81)
(TV Squad) Amusing Craig Ferguson's new desk mug could kick the ass of any desk mug in the history of desk mugs (47)
(Paste Magazine) Interesting Gus Van Sant close to casting Jack Black and Woody Harrelson in film adaptation of The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. Clearly standing behind casting process of hiring actors who have done the most acid (29)
(Late Night with Jimmy Fallon) Amusing Rashida Jones loves Fark (from her Internet Personality Test) (211)
(News.com.au) Amusing The choreography is so intense in Britney Spears' latest tour it's causing her to vomit, get dizzy, and lose her hair. "It is really taking its toll on her." (67)
(Contact Music) Sad When even Woody Allen can't make a movie in New York anymore because it's just too expensive, something's gone terribly wrong somewhere (71)
(Rolling Stone) Followup Student admits to altering audio on Beyonce's "Today" show appearance. Now, people, please leave Beyonce alone (93)
(AP) Spiffy Leonard Nimoy says he's open to doing more Trek movies (62)
(News.com.au) Interesting In another sign of the Apocalypse, Liv Tyler teams up with the Lemonheads to record a cover of a Leonard Cohen song (56)
(CBS 2 Lost Angeles) Sad Annakin dead at 94. Survived by son, Luke; daughter, Leia (60)
(YouTube) Ironic Publisher says he doesn't want to make Guiness record book a freak show while at event pairing world's smallest man with woman with longest legs (33)

Thu April 23, 2009
(KGMB 9) Scary Chins wag over Jay Leno checking himself into LA-area hospital (48)
(Chud) Interesting Hell, if mailing nuts could save "Jericho," buying $5 footlongs from Subway on the date of its season finale should save "Chuck" (135)
(AZCentral) Obvious Lindsay Lohan is scared to pump her own gas for fear of being burned to death, sudden overwhelming urge to fellate the nozzle  T-Shirt (71)
(Dlisted) Sappy Lindsay Lohan goes on "Ellen" to spill her heart and snort it back up, using her best 5-packs a day cafeteria lady voice (with vid) (66)
(Starpulse) Obvious Cannes names top 20 films you'll never know existed until three of them get Oscar nominations next year in the Best Foreign Film category, when you still won't know anything about them (18)
(Den Of Geek) Spiffy Kids movies that traumatized you (Kinda like that clown bed that dad made) (346)
(Contact Music) Stupid James Marsden signs up for a 'reimagining' of 1971 film "Straw Dogs," and by reimagining they mean a cleaned up, worthless PG-13 version of Peckinpah's classic (32)
(Baltimore Sun) Interesting Rachel Maddow's show has suffered a 40 percent audience drop since last fall, which is to be expected because the nice weather is moving her viewers outside to play softball  T-Shirt (147)
(Some Guy) Interesting BET to launch a new channel targeted at an older and more sophisticated African-American audience that doesn't like that loud hippity hop music (59)
(Variety) Obvious Lost writers answer ten fan questions, none of which are "what the heck is the Smoke Monster" or "how the heck are you going to tie up this convoluted mess of a plot" (114)
(Starpulse) Cool Michael J. Fox to shake his "Mr. nice guy" image by playing a bitter, drug-addicted character in "Rescue Me." If someone can portray an addict going through bad withdrawals with credibility, it's definitively him (51)
(Guardian.com) Dumbass You'll be pleased to know a cardiologist took the time to study the "unmitigated drivel" that is "Crank 2: High Voltage." His observations? "The heart surgery at the beginning is implausible in the extreme" (74)
(Chicago Tribune) Cool Roger Ebert and his wife donate $1 million to the University of Illinois to fund a film studies program, with the proviso that Vincent Gallo movies never get a thumb's up (27)
(Den Of Geek) Cool Huge fangasm heard as the X-Files' Anderson joins Doctor Who (67)
(Variety) Asinine LAtest proof that Hollywood is out of ideas: a remake of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is in the works (95)
(ABC News) Stupid Forgetting washed-up, drug and alcohol-addicted female singers are a dime a dozen, Paula Abdul says she's irreplacable on American Idol, possibly paving the way for Whitney Houston (21)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting The Watchmen movie, 50 days on. Is this the film Warner Bros now wishes it hadn't made? (180)
(Telegraph) Silly British couple have a Shrek cosplay wedding. With "what a couple of Farquaads" pic (127)
(Geno's World) Video Mike Tyson defends Chris Brown's beating of Rihanna....I think. No wait, he says it's bad....I still don't understand what exactly he was saying after watching the video 5 times (57)
(Bloomberg) Dumbass Popular boy band member arrested naked in a park. OH SMAP (35)
(E! Online) Silly Late "Star Trek" queen Majel Barrett Roddenberry left $4 million to her pets. Each tribble gets a buck (29)
(Celebitchy) Obvious Octomom swearing up and down that she's not obsessed with Jolie? Turns out, she was a stripper for at least a year under the alias... yep you guessed it, Angelina (55)
(Contact Music) Interesting Phil Spector's biographer fears that the producer will kill himself in order to provide the book with a satisfying conclusion (25)

Wed April 22, 2009
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Cool Have any old HD-DVDs lying around from Warner Bros? For $5 they'll send you a copy of the Blu-ray version (63)
(Cinematical) Amusing Wolverine value meals, Wolverine cereals, Wolverine soft drinks, Wolverine limited edition Schick Quattro Titanium razor. LOLWUT? (67)
(Some Guy) PSA Michael Phelps is doing the breast stroke on Miss California (538)
(Guardian.com) Interesting BBC series will teach kids how to be quiet, and also how they shouldn't expect any pudding if they don't eat their meat (21)
(Contact Music) Amusing Chris Pine writes to William Shatner, explaining that he's not trying to usurp his James T. Kirk status. Shatner: "Thank you very much for the letter... I have it on my fridge" (52)
(WUSA) Amusing Actress goes on hunger strike for Darfur. Sadly, it's not Rosie O'Donnell (40)
(NPR) Obvious Federal judge rules that Rod Blagojevich may not leave the country to fight Heidi Montag in the Costa Rican jungle. It's not news, it's NPR (34)
(Celebslam) Scary Dude, what is going on with Tori Spelling's boobs? (116)
(Fox News) Stupid Pirates are vowing to attack as many US vesse....what's that? Katie Couric got a new haircut? OMG NATIONAL NIGHTMARE BREAKING NEWS (35)
(Starpulse) Amusing Not news: Dog the Bounty Hunter attempts to apprehend bail-jumper and gets shot at. News: Dog and an assistant fire back. Fark: with paintball guns (42)
(Funny Or Die) Silly Now you can get your hands on Denise Richards fun bags (45)
(Paste Magazine) Weird Demetri Martin cast alongisde Brad Pitt in major motion picture about the Oakland A's. Wait, what? (52)
(Entertainment Weekly) Interesting Schwarzenegger agrees to be in Terminator: Salvation as long as he doesn't have to perform. So it'll pretty much be like any of his other movies (47)
(Celebitchy) Dumbass Billy Bob Thornton discusses radio rant, shocked that the incident made the news: "It gave humpbacked geeks all over the world something to do" (with vid) (157)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Misc Roger Ebert's boyhood home gains landmark status; architects say that the building is an instant classic, not overly complicated but a fun place to live for awhile (24)
(Onion AV Club) Interesting Author Bret Easton Ellis discusses "The Informers" and upcoming "American Psycho" musical: "It's not like a straight-ahead Broadway musical with guys in Armani suits doing jazz hands with an old-style score" (46)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting How studios should bother to thank people who preorder DVDs. Rather than threatening them with prosecution if they step out of line (35)
(TMZ) Stupid Jamie Foxx has been sued by a guy who got severely injured on a Vodka display and claims his dream to become a brain surgeon has been put on ice. Seriously (30)
(Some Guy) Silly A list of DC Comics superheroes who deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as Superman and Batman more than unfairly-promoted because-of-her-gender Wonder Woman (177)
(The Daily Swarm) Stupid Director Brett Ratner wants to do a musical biopic. Does he choose Jimi Hendrix? Miles Davis? Lou Reed? Maybe even James Brown? Forget all these clowns: Milli Vanilli is where it's at (39)
(MSNBC) Dumbass Paula Abdul has "never been drunk", "never abused prescription drugs" and apparently "never seen herself on American Idol" (56)

Tue April 21, 2009
(LA Times) Obvious Hugh Jackman explains the difference between wolves and wolverines to clueless reporter (70)
(Starpulse) Interesting Melissa Joan Hart turned down Playboy after her Maxim shoot ended up with her brother having the cover shoved in his face by countless douchebags going, "Dude, check out your sister" for a few months (95)
(Starpulse) Unlikely Vince Neil wants "American Idol" producers to do a Motley Crue theme night after meeting Carrie Underwood and thinking that if something that hot came from the show it must be good (67)
(io9) Interesting "Dune" remake to be yet another reboot and is still in the writing stage. But to ensure that it's not an immediate snooze-fest, David Lynch was requested to stay as far away as possible (113)
(Access Hollywood) Spiffy ABC revives "The Superstars" athletic competition by mining heavily in the 1990s D list. David Charvet? Dan Cortese? Jennifer Capriati? (31)
(Starpulse) Unlikely 10 reasons to keep "Chuck" on the air (190)
(LA Times) Obvious While bloggers whine about teabaggers and Kim Kardshian's ass, Hollywood still loves the drama of movies about newspaper reporters chasing a big story (39)
(YouTube) Cool The greatest TV-edited line from an overhyped B-movie you'll hear today (203)
(SlashFilm) Cool Q&A from the Star Trek London press conference with the entire cast and crew. Unsuprisingly, the movie was a nerd dream come true for Simon Pegg: "it's kind of odd to have Leonard look at me say lines and me not go SQUEAL" (43)
(NJ.com) Interesting The first review is in for Caprica, the upcoming prequel to BSG: "While it's good, it's not Galactica." (113)
(Huffington Post) Obvious Ron Howard writes column to clarify that he's not an anti-catholic; he just makes movies out of Dan Brown's crappy books, regardless of what the Catholic league $5 booklet says (74)
(SFGate) Interesting Moms debate over what age is the right age to let your child watch 'Star Wars.' "One bar scene features 'space' drinking, smoking, and shady characters" (535)
(Kitsap Sun) Cool Acclaimed documentary producer Ken Burns tells schoolkids to stop texting, stop twittering, and go enjoy a national park, preferably with slow pans and old-timey banjo music (95)

Mon April 20, 2009
(New! Magazine) Unlikely Probably the worst idea in the history of human civilisation (112)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Canceled TV show "Pushing Daisies" rises from the dead as a DC Comics zombie series (36)
(Starpulse) Scary One small failure from J.J. Abrams may have saved the upcoming "Star Trek" film (111)
(AZCentral) Amusing Hasselhoff seen kissing mystery woman at Coachella Music Festival. And apparently it's serious, since the media is dubbing it "canoodling" (17)
(Media Week) Interesting E network to spin off the two Kardashians who are not so famous: the drunk one who looks like a bigfoot, and the dull, homely one with the nice body (68)
(AP) Obvious Dan Brown's new steaming pile that will sit atop bestseller lists for the next couple of years to be released this September (199)
(Washington Post) Interesting Susan Boyle singing now the most-viewed online video in history. Or at least until a video of Susan Boyle singing and then getting kicked in the balls appears (334)
(Daily Mail) Amusing The only thing that looks more ridiculous than people wearing those stupid oversized sunglasses is people taking them off (80)
(The Sun) Weird Gwyneth Paltrow: "I had a 'frenemy' who, as it turned out, was pretty hell-bent on taking me down." The "venomous and dangerous" friend in question? Winona Ryder (81)
(Contact Music) Scary Jamie Foxx suffered mental trauma after someone tampered with his drink. Subby felt the same way after watching "Booty Call" and "Stealth" (34)
(Starpulse) Scary Mickey Rourke on Joel McHale: "Who's the guy who made fun of my dog? Motherfarker... He's gonna get a slap in the face. That ain't right. If you see him, tell him he's gonna get a slap in the face" (89)
(New Zealand Herald) Stupid Former Australian kids TV star wants to be seen "as a woman", does lingerie shoot for Ralph. Greg Wiggle sending out CVs (30)

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