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Sun March 29, 2009
(Daily Mail) Stupid Can you sue for libel over a hate campaign when it's just Courtney Love calling you a "nasty lying hosebag thief" on Twitter? (24)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Hayden Panettiere bends over a pink piano in a plaid mini-skirt, crackers walrus flamingo curry nostrils tamale and many more vowels you skipped. (SFW) (153)
(Some Guy) Followup Good news Watchmen has sold $163 Million dollars worth of tickets worldwide. Bad News: Watchmen cost $150 Million to make and needs to make close to $300 million just to break even (115)
(toplessrobot) Amusing 10 saddest happy meal toys: Actually, submitter thoroughly enjoyed #1 and wish they'd bring it back (98)
(Celebitchy) Sad If your last noticeable job was "Charles in Charge" back in '85, it might be time for a garage sale. Those "Zapped" memorabilia aren't gaining in value and your "Bibleman" costume is scaring the kids (37)
(Yahoo) Obvious Nicolas Cage's bird hair can't stop monsters and aliens from conquering the box office (52)
(Starpulse) Stupid 59-year-old actor Bill Nighy, who played Davy Jones in "Pirates of the Caribbean 2" and Victor in "Underworld", has gone out of his way to let us know that he refuses to do nude scenes (31)
(Wordpress) Silly "Pearls Before Swine" cartoonist pre-emptively apologizes for today's comic strip. He totally knows he screwed up Guard Duck's timeline (35)
(Starpulse) Obvious Not to be outdone at their own game by Madonna, who landed in Malawi today to adopt another child, Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie announce they'll be adopting another child also. Obvious tag asplodes (57)
(Houston Chronicle) Spiffy Man gets extra life running mobile video game business out of a 24-ft van that seats twelve, with three 50-inch plasma screens and an all-you-can-eat Cheetos and Red Bull buffet (19)
(Entertainment Weekly) Fail Top 20 Heroes in Pop Culture. Fail tag for Harry Potter at #4, ahead of the likes of Jack Bauer, John McClane, and Han Solo. This is EW, so of course it's a slideshow (76)
(Guardian.com) PSA UK Farkers; "The Wire" starts on BBC2 tomorrow. Not only is it the greatest TV show ever but comes in handy for Baltimore threads (37)
(IMDB) Obvious Hollywood is now completely out of ideas: "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" coming in 2011 (42)
(Huffington Post) Spiffy Cloris Leachman tells of "epic" sex with Gene Hackman (55)
(Entertainment Weekly) Cool Cool: Kathleen Turner is joining a cable comedy-drama, playing a hard-ass agent. Uncool: That show is "Californication" (24)
(Worst Previews) Cool Apparently having learned his lesson from the last installment, Sam Raimi demands full control of Spider-Man 4 (73)
(OK! Magazine) Obvious When asked which celebrity they would most like to be struck by lightning, a massive 61 per cent of people replied (...) (73)
(MTV) Dumbass Harold Ramis talks about new Judd Apatow-producted "Ghostbusters" film, says original Ghostbusters Bill Murray and Dan Akyroyd will be back. Pretty sure you forgot someone there, Harold (91)
(Entertainment Weekly) Obvious NBC cancels "Lipstick Jungle." Brooke Shields immediately diagnoses herself with postpartum depression (21)

Sat March 28, 2009
(Some Guy) Silly Set phasers to "suck." New Star Trek movie marketed to hipster crowd (98)
(London Times) Stupid New Robin Hood production in England seems to have confused Friar Tuck with Black Belt Jones (33)
(Daily Express) Obvious Cindy Crawford is 43. But she's still hot...and you still would (85)
(New York Daily News) Obvious Howard Stern's former NYC radio station unable to survive without him, switches to Top-40 format after three years of failed replacement hosts and low ratings (119)
(National Post) Obvious "What explains this resurgence of Canada jokes on U.S. television? We are the last group that can be made fun of without risk. Political correctness has made almost every other ethnicity off-limits" (449)
(BBC) Obvious BBC Radio wacky morning DJ censured for using high-pitched voice to mock gay pop singer. "We don't condone bullying or homophobia or anything else like that" (25)
(Reuters) Stupid Ousted "American Idol" contestant abandoning his job as oil rig worker to focus on music career. And people wonder why we are in a recession (18)
(NPR) Obvious Apparently there IS life after "Battlestar Galactica". Of course, that assumes that the fan had a life before the show, which is a rather risky assumption (64)
(UPI) Obvious Celebrities hire people to Twitter for them? I'm shocked, SHOCKED I tell you (28)
(London Times) Followup The director of Joaquin Phoenix's last film is pissed at his star becoming "a crazy person with a beard making a fool of himself". Bonus: calls Casey Affleck a clown (28)
(Bitten and Bound) Obvious Katherine Heigl dissed "Grey's Anatomy" and now she's backpedaling. She claims not to know if they've written her out....and we smell a ratings stunt (33)
(Entertainment Weekly) Asinine Richard Linklater wants to do a "spiritual sequel" to "Dazed and Confused." Well, Matthew McConaughey's career is stagnant, so you know he'll be on board (34)
(MTV) Silly Nicolas Cage offers himself as a supervillian for sequel to "Dark Knight." Holy bird hair, Batman (60)
(Canada.com) Interesting The 10 most essential Canadian movies of all time (113)

Fri March 27, 2009
(Stuff) Spiffy Aucklanders want Xena to be their mayor (27)
(The Sun) Cool "A video that features sexy girls poledancing around patio heaters has been created to celebrate national Energy Wasting Day" (23)
(Daily Mail) Sick Casting has begun for the Jane Goody story. Jane Goody is spinning in her... oh, they haven't even buried her yet? (50)
(SFGate) Sad Good night and God speed, bowtie man (64)
(Bitten and Bound) Cool Joanna Krupa credits Pope John Paul for her decision to pose nude...amen (61)
(Variety) Obvious If you name your TV series "Chopping Block," you can't be surprised when this happens (74)
(The Bookseller) Strange And the award for the oddest book title of the year goes to... "The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-miligram Containers of Fromage Frais" (57)
(Fox News) Obvious "American Idol" producers finally admit that the group performances on the show are lip-synced, blame it on the rain  T-Shirt (64)
(Spike) Obvious Top ten superheroes who are cooler as their alter egos. In other words, it's way easier for Tony Stark to score when he's wearing a designer suit that doesn't require a power drill to remove (77)
(Arne Darvin) Cool In a continuing effort to prepare fans for the new "Star Trek" movie, IDW is releasing an "Alien Spotlight: Tribbles" comic book (24)
(Gawker) Amusing Jimmy Fallon gets Oniopwned (108)
(OK! Magazine) Dumbass In a brave bid to stand up against domestic violence, Rihanna gets a tattoo of a...gun (64)

Thu March 26, 2009
(Toy Bender) Stupid We finally have a reveal on Cobra Commander from the new G.I. Joe movie, and yes . . . your childhood just took one in the ass (186)
(MTV) Sick 'Twilight' vampire actor sparkles and craves blood on film, avoids soap and stinks like a goat in real life (58)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Jeremy Clarkson barricaded into a port-a-potty at classic car show. Well that's crappy (34)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Police remove their shades after Austrian woman is arrested in Mexico for stalking and threatening to kill David Caruso (29)
(Starpulse) Amusing "Roger Ebert, I love you and I'm glad you're feeling better. Michael Moore, you're a douchebag, but keep making great movies" (59)
(kcra.com) Scary Myth: busted. Windows: busted (38)
(Ad Age) Sad RIP Blender, you will be missed (111)
(Comedy Central) Amusing To save the economy we must only buy water, bread and margaritas (145)
(NYPost) Cool Apparently Cloris Leachman is quite the slut (68)
(Deceiver) Sad As if things aren't bad enough already: Scarlett Johansson dieting away her boobies (107)
(Kansas City) Stupid The KC Star brings you the hard-hitting story of the day: Former TV star Willie Aames is having a garage sale. He's selling a box of records for $10, but eight is enough (90)
(NYPost) Unlikely Why did Natasha Richardson die? Blame Canada (168)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Interesting "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Ctahulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn Opie" (81)
(The Smoking Gun) Interesting Passenger 57 ordered to surrender his passport (42)
(Wired) Spiffy It is illogical to deny that Leonard Nimoy turns 78 today, has lived long and prospered (50)
(Some Guy) Wheaton Farkers and Farkettes: Your new Secretary of Geek Affairs, Mr. Wil Wheaton (55)
(Bitten and Bound) Cool Hot tennis pro Anna Kournikova ran the gamut yesterday, ringing the bell at the NY Stock Exchange and playing beer pong with Jimmy Fallon. (pics, video) (61)
(E! Online) Interesting Not content merely to play with time travel as scientific element, Lost decides to go full paradox, creating plot contortions that would leave Steven Hawking scratching his head (148)
(Google) Cool Bob Barker returns to The Price Is Right to spay and neuter Drew Carey (39)
(Fignuts) Sad Cartoon Network, which has given us great shows like "Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law," "The Venture Bros.," and "Sealab 2021," will now be showing "Reality" programming (183)
(Chicago Tribune) Silly Are there any winners in this awful economy? Yes...Dilbert (44)
(USA Today) Scary Nutjob stalker with two guns and duct tape tried to break onto set of "Dancing with the Stars" to meet Olympic gold-medal gymnast Shawn Johnson (76)
(Some Guy) Silly Universal is getting such good tracking numbers for Vin Diesel's acting career hail-mary "Fast and Furious"...that they may ask Vin to dust off his Riddick goggles too (77)
(Some Guy) Obvious Denise Richards surpised, confused she got kicked off Dancing With the Stars even after winning this week's competition. If it's anything like her sex life, she'll still be able to make weekly guest appearances (46)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Cool Somewhere, Kirstie Alley is rolling over in her gravy  T-Shirt (115)
(Yahoo) Sad Dolly Parton denies rumor that she's a lesbian or has ever even owned a Subaru Outback  T-Shirt (60)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Scary Self-described "right-wing nut job" producer of "24" to "unveil secrets" about the Kennedys -- such as when Bobby tortured those mob guys to try and stop an assassination plot (28)
(CNN) Followup The anus may be remarkable after all (37)
(Livenews) Interesting Barack Obama as a voice on the Simpsons? It might be more likely than you think (87)

Wed March 25, 2009
(Contact Music) Interesting Some people take up unusual hobbies between jobs. Jeremy Irons spent six years restoring his Irish castle, harassing Bruce Willis (34)
(Apple.com) Cool "Where the Wild Things Are" trailer has finally arrived and from the looks of it, it will have 30 year old hipsters all over America bawling their eyes out into their PBRs (181)
(Starpulse) Obvious Director Baz Luhrmann, who shot his load after seeing Beyonce perform with Hugh Jackman at the Oscars, now wants the two to star together in his next film (23)
(E! Online) Interesting T.R. Knight of "Grey's Anatomy" is responsible for causing a three-car accident. In case you don't recognize the name, he's the gay one with the personality of ricotta cheese (34)
(Onion AV Club) Spiffy Good news, everyone: the AV Club has a new interview with Matt Groening (41)
(Variety) Asinine Hollywood not only out of ideas, out of decent casting ideas as well. Del Toro, Carrey, and Penn are your new Three Stooges (132)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Stupid Another damn cake show. This time on TLC (73)
(Funny Or Die) Satire Cool: Naked Dawn..just like Red Dawn, but with naked people. Uncool: Most of the naked people are dudes. (Not safe for work background junk) (42)
(Paste Magazine) Interesting Anthony Hopkins to play Ernest Hemingway, but hopefully not to point of replication that he actually kills himself. Maybe just a little booze and bullfighting (28)
(Yahoo) Asinine Both Gloria Allred and Clown Car go on "Dr." Phil's show, in a perfect storm of douchebaggery that could kill us all (198)
(Den Of Geek) Amusing 20 actors mismatched to their on-screen profession. Star attraction: Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist. You'd be better off taking your chances with the nuke (268)
(3 News New Zealand) Weird Hipsters get ready for your new indie filmmaking auteur, Fred Durst. Wait, what? (58)
(Entertainment Weekly) Amusing Entertainment Weekly asks the all-important question: How much would you pay for Fergie's underwear? (61)
(Some Guy) Silly Esquire magazine asks the question: Why is David Caruso still on television? (86)
(Wordpress) Interesting With a few days to think about it and release reviews, the consensus is in: the finale of Battlestar Galactica was brilliant. Or maybe it stunk. Who knows (773)

Tue March 24, 2009
(Variety) Dumbass Free online TV a threat to industry, just like radio ended live performance, and TV ended to radio (64)
(TV Squad) Interesting Networks upset that President Obama keeps upsetting their primetime schedules with his addresses. They would have a point if people actually watched their crappy shows (252)
(National Post) Cool "Beer, igloos, hockey, and all Canadian stereotypes we love to hate are making a comeback with cult favourites, Bob & Doug - in cartoon form" (45)
(Sun Sentinel) Obvious Your favorite psychic friend Miss Cleo comes out as a lesbian. No one saw that coming and no one wants to either (57)
(Starpulse) Interesting Martin Sheen once forgot who Paula Abdul was... lucky bastard (19)
(Contact Music) Obvious Another day, another Lindsay Lohan car crash (52)
(Google) Interesting OK, stop me if you've heard this one: A Scottish guy, an Irish guy, and a douchebag all host late-night talk shows. A Mexican walks in (84)
(Starpulse) Obvious Kiefer Sutherland says that he would gladly do an 8th season of "24"; but also says the show may be RUNNING OUT OF TIME (64)
(Entertainment Weekly) Silly "Lost" producers apologize to actress after blaming their own timeline screwup on her demands to appear young (168)
(Stuff) Spiffy Jessica Alba plans second pregnancy. Line forms to the left (55)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting 10 movie ending ideas that should have been leaked to the Internet first (171)
(Gizmodo) PSA Jennifer Aniston dumped John Mayer because he Twittered too much. Being a douchebag apparently didn't come into play (95)
(Lancashire Evening Post) Strange Doctor Who Tardises himself into a family's home to watch himself on TV (37)
(The Sun) Ironic Boy George is starting to look like Larry the Cable Guy (54)
(Some Guy) Misc Alyssa Milano to replace Sigourney Weaver for upcoming "Ghostbusters" video game. I'd slime that (54)

Mon March 23, 2009
(Yahoo) Asinine "Five Reasons Julia Roberts Is Too Old." Surprisingly, "Because Hollywood is as superficial as a 12-year-old girl" did not make the list (102)
(The New York Times) Cool Letterman performs stupid human trick (57)
(People Magazine) Dumbass Joe Jonas hates Chinese people (146)
(UPI) Amusing Michael Jackson compared to the IRA; both want apologies  T-Shirt (16)
(AP) Hero Stephen Colbert wins NASA space station name contest; next up NASA to name Uranus moon after Bill O'Reilly (190)
(Paste Magazine) Amusing Jason Segel: "Everyone asks if this is a bromance, and what I say is there's no word that can capture what's going on between me and Paul Rudd; it's beyond language" (44)
(Daily Express) Interesting Stock markets fall on latest grim econom ... HOLY CRAP - Madonna's nanny just QUIT (6)
(Some Guy) Interesting Lindsay Lohan is broke? At least she's not flat busted (36)
(CBC) Obvious 2009 Canadiian music awards called "lame", "a piloe of crap" and "tripe", and not just because Nickelback leads in number of Juno nominations (133)
(TMZ) Sad What the Fark happened to Nikki Cox? (129)
(Spike) Interesting Top 7 things you didn't know about Mickey Rourke. He's no Chuck Norris that's for sure (17)
(Breitbart.com) Followup Robin Williams recovering in a Cleveland hospital after aortic valve replacement, is on the verge of another heart attack due to hospital staff re-enacting "Patch Adams" scenes (26)
(FilmDrunk) Stupid Warner Bros. asking you to say goodbye to adult oriented (R rated) superhero/genre flicks. Going to focus primarily on PG-13 rated releases (131)
(MTV) Asinine MTV, TMZ think the name of M.I.A's baby is a BFD (54)
(FilmDrunk) Cool New pics from the Where the Wild Things Are movie (50)
(Telegraph) Followup British media rejoice at news that Jade Goody's funeral will be televised live, much like Princess Diana's was, as they now have something to write about for two more weeks (60)
(Newsday) Amusing Deer on Long Island don't like Matt Lauer either (15)
(Starpulse) Strange Burger King looks to get a leg up on their competitors by signing Heather Mills to a $4.3 million deal to promote a new vegetarian burger (75)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Unlikely Roseanne Barr plans return to primetime TV sitcom, claims the past decade was all just a dream (59)
(Some Guy) Cool Hollywood is out of ideas, but this time it's cool: The Coen Brothers to remake John Wayne's "True Grit" (99)
(Contact Music) Obvious Time to throw away your math-themed love poems: "Wonder Years" star Danica McKellar marries her longtime boyfriend (74)
(io9) Obvious Why you shouldn't expect a new "Star Trek" TV series anytime soon. Yes, it involves lawyers, a career noticeably absent in the Federation (118)
(Celebslam) Cool Bob Barker almost became a porn star. "Looks like your shoes are having a party, so tell your underwear to COME ON DOWN" (33)
(Some Guy) Amusing What the hell is MythBusters doing? "I found myself lying down on the floor," she said, "and the dogs going wild." (101)
(Miami Herald) Florida "Liberace of Astrology" loses rights to own name...you would think he'd see this coming (59)
(London Times) Obvious Sylvia Plath's son commits suicide (81)
(Star Magazine) Scary Amy Winehouse posts a message on the internet saying her marriage is over. Which means chaps, she's single, if you fancy a challenge (60)

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