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Sun March 15, 2009
(AP) Sad Ron Silver dead at 62 of cancer. Goodnight, That Guy (34)
(I-Mockery) Amusing From Francis Buxton to Ernie McCracken, I-Mockery celebrates more of everybody's favorite movie assholes (71)
(NYPost) Dumbass Gwyneth Paltrow can't understand why no one wants to pay $4,500 and hundreds more every month to work out at her new gym, Club Smug (62)
(Canoe) Cool "Will Ferrell nails Dubya to a T." We can only hope (58)
(Google) Spiffy Cat Cora's got a bun in the oven. Bonus: so does her wife (52)
(Seattle Times) Interesting Steve Martin to pay for off-campus production of banned high school play. Also offers a free oven mitt (43)
(WTOP) Interesting Fights break out at audition line for America's Next Top Model. Now there's an idea for a reality TV show (36)

Sat March 14, 2009
(Entertainment Weekly) Obvious Reign of the Watchmen is over as movie plummets remarkable 78% in box office during second weekend (423)
(Some Guy) Obvious Lindsay Lohan is wanted by police. In other news, someone wants Lindsay Lohan (50)
(UPI) Stupid Upcoming new comicbook superhero: Michelle Obama. Her superpower? Ability to chew through coaxial cable with her "mega-mandible" (58)
(NJ.com) Interesting An examination of Battlestar Galactica's penultimate episode, "Daybreak: Part I," complete with handy plot point resolution checklist (198)
(Bitten and Bound) Sad Former WWE wrestler 'Test' Martin dead at 33. 1975-2009 RIP (pics, video) (175)
(Salon) Followup After being pantsed by Jon Stewart, Jim Cramer appears to be making an honest effort to change the discourse. Just kidding, he's back to yelling over obnoxious sound effects (103)
(We can only hope) Spiffy Screenwriter begs fanboys to keep watching the Watchmen. "If it drops off the radar after the first weekend, they will never allow a film like this to be made again" (98)
(Yahoo) Video With great trailers come great responsibility. Raimi, please don't fark this up (92)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Interesting Moral watchdogs don't appreciate the Wii's transformation from cute little Mario to MadWorld's chainsaw gore-fest, believe recent hack-and-slash titles do not wiimotely resemble proper family gaming. Marauding zombies concur (47)
(Yahoo) Sad Jennifer Love Hewitt is getting over her engagement with Jamie Kennedy, lobotomy (79)
(Longview, Wash. Daily News) Asinine If a tree falls illegally in the forest and millions of people are watching on TV, are you an idiot? (52)

Fri March 13, 2009
(AP) Obvious Recession means that instead of globe-trotting international "mystery vacations," Matt Lauer will be broadcasting instead from the cheese aisle at the Food King in Yazoo City, Mississippi (18)
(Telegraph) Interesting BBC picks up "The Wire." Will inevitably cancel it due to British viewers' inability to onderstand a Ball-mer accent (122)
(NYPost) Sad What the hell happened to you, Food Network? You used to be cool (234)
(Guardian.com) Obvious "When did movie music get so boring?" (169)
(Starpulse) Obvious Keira Kightley turns down "Pirate$ of the ¢aribbean 4" (125)
(The Sun) Asinine Just when you thought PETA couldn't get any more idiotic - they have obtained a used towel belonging to George Clooney and plan to extract his sweat to flavor tofu with it (56)
(Wired) Wheaton It's Wheaton vs. Whedon in the Ultimate Battle of Geek Madness. Give Wil your vote today (115)
(Starpulse) Obvious Today's pretentiously named Hollywood baby brought to you by: Anne Heche (95)
(Some Girl) PSA We know you want your Dr. Manhattan costume to be "screen accurate", but we need to have a chat about local indecency laws (107)
(Xenu) Interesting Will Smith's wife opens school based on L. Ron Hubbard's methodology - but says it's not a Scientology school (200)
(Some Nighthawks) Cool Tom Waits to appear in a new, post-apocalyptic western thriller (54)
(MSN) Silly The Hawaiian community frowns upon your shenanigans (48)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Cool Warner Bros. is bringing Stephen King's "It" to the big screen. Coulrophobic Farkers unavailable for comment (184)
(AP) Followup Howard K Stern and two doctors arrested on charges of conspiracy to furnish drugs to Anna Nicole Smith. Anuses soon to lose unremarkable status (26)

Thu March 12, 2009
(Celebslam) Asinine Remember the Hoff's son from Baywatch? He owns a Lamborghini (57)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Spiffy Marvel pushes back The Avengers to a May 4, 2012 release date to make room for Spiderman 4: The Search for More Money on May 6, 2011. Bonus: Captain America and Thor pushed back too (73)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Spiffy NBC unveils a summer schedule full of wizards, meteors, telepaths and storms. If that doesn't sufficiently distract you, there's also "Rome" star James Purefoy (26)
(NYPost) Amusing Wetter, Hotter, Americaner, Summerer??? (41)
(People Magazine) Obvious With no new movie or album to promote, Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer call it quits. Again (41)
(AP) Sad Philanthropist Leonore Annenberg--of PBS sponsor The Annenberg Foundation--dead at 91 (104)
(I Heart Chaos) Strange How many of you have actually seen the face of Dr. Claw from the inspector Gadget cartoon? (116)
(Huffington Post) Asinine Victoria Jackson on FoxNews: Obama is a communist, Rush, Palin & Hannity should run country, UHF TV is the wave of the future (325)
(AP) Amusing Joaquin Phoenix's beard attacks a heckler (63)
(AMC) Obvious Why movies based on video games suck. First, the obvious: Because Uwe Boll directs them (166)
(USA Today) Cool Jon Stewart and Jim Cramer to face off on The Daily Show tonight. Buy, buy, buy (468)
(C|Net) Cool Steve Wozniak's foot breaks itself after seeing a replay of him on Dancing with the Stars (7)
(Comedy Central) Silly Disney: "That's how we can sell sex to young girls" (257)
(Starpulse) Followup Stephen Colbert lobbies voters to vote for him so that NASA will name a room of the space station after him. Now for the good news: he's currently winning the contest (70)
(Some Guy) Spiffy The long wait is over... 'Howard the Duck' is released on DVD. Here are 10 reasons why it is loved by many (79)
(Cracked) Amusing Seven badass cartoon villains who lost to retarded heroes (116)
(Some Guy) Interesting The top ten cinema 'that guys', including at least six people you've never heard of (125)

Wed March 11, 2009
(The Hollywood Reporter) Spiffy After two years of begging for more "Jericho," fans are about to get their wish ... kind of (38)
(Reuters) Spiffy New "Star Trek" trailer boldly goes where no man has gone before; becomes the most downloaded movie preview of all time. Make it so (118)
(Baltimore Sun) Spiffy Prince 2 play 3 d8tes on 2nite show 2 promote 2 CDs with hack-pr00f passw4rd titles (58)
(TMZ) Dumbass Tapped ouT (113)
(Broadcasting and Cable) Spiffy New reality series will pit families against each other on a road trip across the country. Winner gets a free week at Wally World (37)
(Onion AV Club) Cool Wes Craven discusses making "Last House on the Left" and "The Hills Have Eyes" and the ensuing reaction from the public: "I literally had people who would no longer leave their children alone with me" (50)
(The Daily Show) Silly Jon Stewart vs Jim Cramer with Dora the Explorer as the special guest referee (154)
(Reuters) Obvious Michael Jackson adds more shows after first 10 sell out. Promoter fears smaller crowds at later shows, but Jackson claims to like them that way (26)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Dumbass Parent group files FCC complaint against "Family Guy" for "bestiality, orgies and babies eating sperm" (207)
(Entertainment Weekly) Silly Heath Ledger's last film has no U.S. distribution deal, because everyone thinks Terry Gilliam is just too weird (76)
(UPI) Stupid Rihanna and Chris Brown now recording duet together. "Hit Me Baby One More Time" jokes to the right (92)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting What has the Fox network got against its own sci-fi shows? And are Fringe, Dollhouse and the sublime Sarah Connor Chronicles doomed, simply because of bad scheduling? (145)
(Baltimore Sun) Interesting Comedy Central declines to help a brother out, cancels "Chocolate News" (89)
(Time Out New York) Amusing Jason Segel on working with Paul Rudd: "I slowly open my eyes, and Paul is standing there with his d___ out." (84)
(IGN) Spiffy First look at DC Comics' new "Batman and Robin" (141)
(ABC News) Cool Eight disabled hotties compete in Britain's Missing Top Model where they will be "whittled down through a series of challenges." Perhaps whittled down isn't the best choice of words (48)
(Contact Music) Amusing William Shatner used to go trick or treating with his own death mask, the same kind they used for the "Halloween" movies. Sorry, he can't hear you over the sound of his own awesomeness (28)

Tue March 10, 2009
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Keith Richards might look like a skeleton dipped in wax, but his daughter is pretty hot. She could use a sammich however (65)
(The Sun) Amusing Nerds to invade Zimbabwe. Mugabe may have lost episodes of "Doctor Who" (46)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Poor, broken-down Hulk Hogan asks court for $300,000 because he's running out of cash (63)
(BBC) Scary Man assumes wrestler Triple H's identity, propositions girls age 5 and 7, then it gets weird (with helpful picture of courthouse) (36)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting Having solved all world problems such as human rights, child abuse, war, political extremism, and terrorism, United Nations to hold discussion of Battlestar Galactica and its treatment of those topics (48)
(SLTrib) Interesting Mormons upset that "Big Love" will recreate their goofy "endowment" ceremony, in which people dressed as Arab sheiks with aprons baptize and lube you with oil (115)
(Boston Globe) Obvious It looks like ABC saved "Scrubs" in order to punch it in the groin and push it down the stairs (52)
(Variety) Spiffy When criminally overrated urbanite hipsters collide: Joss Whedon to stage musical for live simulcast of "This American Life" (32)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Asinine Fox is rebooting "Fantastic Four" and they'll keep rebooting and rebooting until we like it, gosh darn it. Bonus: Vids of the craptastic 1994 version (79)
(Entertainment Weekly) Cool Sometimes there IS sanity in TV. Best-show-you're-not-watching "Friday Night Lights" close to being renewed for two more seasons (59)
(Gawker) Amusing Witness James Franco juggling an acting career, upcoming book and college education all at once (26)
(Cinematical) Interesting Top 40 '80s movies: Breakfast Club at #27 and Ghostbusters at #40, yet the snooze-fest that is Blade Runner makes it to #2. Clearly, this list what done in a basement by someone with dubious hygiene (233)
(People Magazine) Cool Interview with comedian Chris Elliot's daughter Abby, who's new to SNL and a lot less ugly than her dad (75)
(AP) Dumbass Nickelodeon stands by Chris Brown as nominee or its annual Kids' Choice Awards, because kids need to know abusive people have feelings too, and besides, Diego regularly beats the hell out of Dora (76)
(New York Daily News) Obvious WXRK-NY (K-Rock) fires Opie and Anthony. Bah bah booie (165)
(Variety) Obvious Ads for awesome products like herbal boner pills and classy companies like Cash4Gold cheapen primetime TV (28)
(AP) Interesting Jay Leno to give free show for Michigan's unemployed. Haven't these people suffered enough? (39)
(Telegraph) Amusing Wozniak knocked 'em dead on "Dancing with the Stars". Just kidding - "It was like watching a Teletubby going mad in a gay pride parade" (41)
(CTV) Cool "Michael J. Fox: Adventures of an Incurable Optimist" expected to shake up ABC's Thursday night line-up (50)
(People Magazine) Fail Somebody gave octomom a house. Looks like everybody won't have to move into the womb after all (129)
(News.com.au) Unlikely Sam Worthington tipped to replace Christian Bale as Batman. Apparently, Christian Bale is done, professionally (131)
(Gawker) Dumbass The "Fast Money" (sic) dude got his feelings hurt by Jon Stewart, lashes out on a column: "It rankles me" (93)
(Variety) Ironic Professional blowhard and Catholic League President Bill Donohue blasts the "malicious myths" of Angels and Demons as an assault on Catholicism, a religion based on....eh... facts or something, I guess (50)
(Contact Music) Amusing Malin Akerman hated her "Watchmen" costume: "When you take it off, it smells like a human condom" (139)
(MTV) Cool George Lucas to film a year worth's of episodes for upcoming "Star Wars" live-action TV series, as casting gets underway. Anyone with last name Christensen need not apply (73)
(Onion AV Club) Sad Fox announces that all new DVD rentals will no longer include special features. Say goodbye to those director commentaries, featurettes and deleted scenes you always meant to watch at some point (94)
(Deceiver) Amusing Al Gore, Jeremy Piven, Paris Hilton, and PETA. Meet the #1-seeded hypocrites in the first annual "Deceiver Madness" tourney. (Duke sucks.) (19)
(New York Daily News) Dumbass Hayden Pannettiere realizes she forgot her bottle of Purell as journalists are touching her, freaks out: "you all make my life miserable" (68)
(TMZ) Misc Anne Heche officially divorced. This is good news for men, women or alien life forms (15)

Mon March 09, 2009
(SlashFilm) Cool 125-page transcript of 1978 story conference between Spielberg, Lucas and Kasdan for a little film called "Raiders of the Lost Ark". Apparently, they didn't have meetings like this one for the following sequels (40)
(Cinematical) Silly If Frank Miller wrote "Peanuts." Good grief (42)
(Seattle Weekly) Interesting "Mystery Science Theater 3000" creator Joel Hodgson sits down for an exclusive interview with Seattle Weekly: "People had a really weird impression of why I left, like they thought I was too good or something" (63)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Shauna Sand asks her 9-year-old if she'd like to pose for Playboy. Now that's class (38)
(The New York Times) Unlikely Carmike Cinemas remembers that the Great Depression was also the Golden Age of Film, cuts concession prices to $1 in hopes of luring theatergoers. Now if only they offered some decent movies to go with it (55)
(LA Times) Cool "Law and Order UK" looks like its American cousin, but sounds different. And its detectives eat at the fish and chip shop instead of the pizza place before going to interview the doorman (52)
(Huffington Post) Silly Jimmy Kimmel appears on "The View" and whines like a girl about his breakup. Adam Carolla said to be calling him right now and asking him to return his Man Card (39)
(Buzzcuts) Obvious TMZ founder offers advice to New York Times; Less arrogant, more Rihanna (21)
(Starpulse) Sad Martha Stewart's pretentiously named dog, Genghis Khan, dies in freak explosion. Sad tag for the dog's name, not the way he went out (53)
(Nerve) Amusing Britney Spears has wardrobe malfunction: "My p*ssy fell out" (134)
(Starpulse) Dumbass Citizens of Fullerton, CA protest the Governator's tax increase by smashing all their DVDs & VHS tapes of his movies. So now in addition to higher taxes they all have to go buy new copies of "Terminator" (34)
(SlashFilm) Cool "Hard Boiled" sequel in development. Expect two hours of pure gun-toting, blood-spraying, limb-flowing action. Unless John Woo is not involved, then expect a limp straight-to-video piece of crap (34)
(Yahoo) Followup Ashlee Simpson to be cast in Melrose Place remake. Send this beast back from Wentz it came (40)
(UPI) Hero In celebration of his 69th birthday tomorrow, Chuck Norris will randomly select one lucky child to be thrown into the sun (254)
(Stuff) Followup Steven Spielberg wraps up shooting first "Tintin" movie, hands it over to Peter Jackson so he can add a buttload of dazzling, over-the-top CGI (26)
(CNN) Interesting Unique portrait of William Shakespeare reveals much about the notorious bard, such as the stunning realization that he looks like Russell Brand (109)
(Cinematical) Stupid Because Chuck Norris' movies were so creative and well-written, it goes without saying that "Missing In Action" should be remade. Except without, you know, Chuck Norris or that whole going to Vietnam part (33)
(UPI) Interesting "Baby I love all women equally, but when it comes to YOU....let's just say that some broads are more equal than others." --- Love letters of George Orwell to be sold at auction (47)
(Some Guy) Interesting Slum children inspired after seeing Slumdog Millionaire, will earn double on the streets if they're blinded and taught to do the "Jai Ho" dance (14)
(CNN) Silly Researchers study why we use movie quotes in everyday conversation. Frankly, CNN, we don't give a damn (522)
(Google) Sad Ken Burns loses GM backing. Was last seen taking a picture of himself dissapointed and zooming into it slowly (36)
(Daily Mail) Silly Old and busted: Pitt vs. Cruise for the Hollywood crown. New hotness: Shiloh Pitt vs. Suri Cruise for the Hollywood crown (16)
(Some DJ Gal) Cool 50 hottest girls of radio. Difficulty: no Hot Donna (270)
(E! Online) Spiffy Who watches the watchmen? Apparently $55.7 million worth of you. Suck it Madea (387)
(Some Zordon) Sad Power Rangers cancelled after 17 seasons and 17,000 action figures. Discussion of how the show's sucked since you stopped watching to the right (156)

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