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Sun March 01, 2009
(SlashFilm) Cool "Re-Animator" to be a remake and not a sequel, will be in 3-D to add an extra layer of realism to that cunnilingus scene involving a re-animated severed head (8)
(SlashFilm) Interesting Not news: Warner Bros. fighting with McG over final cut of "Terminator Salvation". Fark: It's all about the boobies (69)
(UPI) Followup "Life of Brian" to get first showing in 30 years in Welsh town, after they finally decide it's good enough for Jehovah. Otters' noses and ocelot spleens will be served (22)
(Some Guy) Obvious Why Teller is one of the greatest illusionists in the world, even though Penn hogs all the limelight (53)
(Daily Mail) Silly Lindsay Lohan wants to convert to Judaism. Guess she hasn't heard about how they frown on eating clams (48)
(News Of The World) Spiffy New "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" featurette. Needs mor Hermione (32)
(Chud) Spiffy The ten most exciting directors of 2009. Looks like it's still not Uwe Boll's year (16)
(NPR) Audio Bruce Campbell discussing "Evil Dead: The Musical" to his "pivotal" roles in all Spiderman movies, on NPR radio (19)
(Onion AV Club) Strange New Jamie Foxx R&B music video stars Sam Jackson, T-Pain, Forest Whitaker...Jake Gyllenhall? And...wait for it...Ron Howard? WTF? (21)
(Some Guy) Sad Goodbye, Siegfried. Goodbye, Roy (55)

Sat February 28, 2009
(LA Times) Interesting With only three episodes left to make sense of four years of mythology, "Battlestar Galactica" decides to actually put out an episode which moves the plot forward. Who'd have thunk? (206)
(newser) Amusing Jimmy Fallon on hosting the new "Late Show": "Right now I feel like I [make people sick]", yeah that's about right (52)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Amusing Irate fanboy responds to Roger Ebert's mockery of "Fanboys" (107)
(NYPost) Amusing Matt Groening on new opening sequence, weird fan mail and Bart's voice being used to push Scientology: "We all know the real God - the one true God - which is the Mighty Thor" (70)
(New Zealand Herald) Interesting New Jesus movie on the way, promises to be less "Jesus Chainsaw Massacre" and more "Chronicles of Narnia" (45)
(SFGate) Cool "Diff'rent Strokes" actor Todd Bridges makes his pro wrestling debut today: "I make a pretty darn good living for a guy who only has to work three times a month" (17)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Madonna: Penn is mightier (47)
(Some Doctor Who Monster) Cool Oodly enough, it seems the Ood are returning to "Doctor Who" in the second of the 2009 specials (75)
(Celebuzz) Dumbass Chris Brown and Rihanna are back together. You just can't beat true love (192)

Fri February 27, 2009
(Sun Sentinel) Amusing Mental-health expert says Joaquin Phoenix could be mentally ill. "Whatever it is, it's not funny." (60)
(Entertainment Weekly) Obvious "Friday the 13th" sequel in works. No this is not a repeat from 1981, 1982, 1984, 1985, 1986, 1988,1989, 1993, 2002, or 2003 (26)
(BBC) Cool Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Mickey Rourke and Forest Whitaker to star in upcoming "The Expendables." Could this be this generation's "The Dirty Dozen"? (51)
(LA Times) Obvious "Watchmen": First flop of the year? (156)
(Maxim) Amusing 50 worst movies of all-time. Yes, it's a Maxim link, but at least it's all on one page (194)
(The Batt) Interesting As bad as the Twilight novels are, at least they're getting kids to read. 30 something house wives still have no excuse to read them though (167)
(Metro) Misc Dita Von Teese suggests wearing high heels and nothing else as a fast route to "instant glamour". Of course, she's only managed to snare Marilyn Manson, so you may wish to take this advice with a metric asston of salt (64)
(Guardian.com) Sad RIP, Philip Jose Farmer. See you on Riverworld (31)
(LA Times) Scary Lisa Rinna to appear nude in Playboy. The magazine will feature first horizontal foldout to accommodate her lips (42)
(Telegraph) Interesting Poetry, which some feared would be killed by the Internet, is actually enjoying a technology-fuelled resurgence. Unfortunately, 99.9% of it is still drivel (60)
(BBC) Amusing Britney Spears' future relationship with former manager Sam Lufti may hinge on key gossip from her hairdresser. No, seriously (15)
(Cracked) Interesting The five most unintentionally gay horror movies. Not that there's anything wrong with that (206)
(Daily Mail) Sad Hope you enjoyed being part of on Oscar-winning movie, kids. Now it's back to your shiatty life (47)
(USA Today) Interesting Celebrities ain't like regular folks. Their kids are 'spensive. Ask Hip Hop Mogul Russell Simmons, who recently was court ordered to pay his ex $40,000 a month in child support. Oh SNAP (69)
(Sci Fi) Dumbass When a character dies on the show, they're dead. The only time you'll see them again is in a flashback. We do that because we want the stakes on the Island to be real - Darlton back in 2006 (109)
(Google) Interesting Pop singer Jewel hopes to be the diamond in the rough in this season of that gem of a show "Dancing with the Stars." Will mine the inner-strength to make the cut next week (41)
(Gawker) Scary Kathie Lee Gifford sleeps naked. You're welcome (51)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Interesting Eddie Murphy to star in Richard Pryor biopic. No word yet if he'll be taking on all the supporting roles as well, or if there will be a fat suit involved (24)
(NYPost) Amusing Jodie Foster gets pulled over for speeding by a cop with a camera crew from the show "Speeders" riding along. Throws a fit and says the gadar gun must be broken, scissors ticket to shreds in protest (58)
(Telegraph) Asinine Conservative politician outraged, OUTRAGED that school staged play of "Romeo and Julian" to raise awareness of homophobic bullying. Because men never dressed up in women's clothing and kissed other men back in the Bard's day (51)
(The Sun) Spiffy Anna Friel goes topless for acting role, all in the name of art. That Art sure is a great guy, isn't he? Way too underrated sometimes. (Not safe for work) (31)
(Telegraph) Dumbass You might be an obsessive fan if you spend your life savings to fly to another country and picket a film studio demanding that they give you a role in the latest Harry Potter movie (23)
(toplessrobot) Cool The eight most awesome old school 3-D flicks (28)
(Onion AV Club) Interesting Ah, "Heavenly Creatures": A young Kate Winslet, and Peter Jackson making movies that weren't terrible, special effects-driven crap. Good times, good times (102)

Thu February 26, 2009
(ESPN) Misc ♫ And that's how they became the Brady-Bundchen ♫ (53)
(Some weird auction) Followup Pics of all the weird stuff Michael Jackson is auctionning off. It's like your local arcade went out of business (131)
(Gigwise) Cool In the most obvious match since peanut butter & chocolate or Britney Spears & Cheetos, Tim Burton says he would love to collaborate with The Cure (27)
(Kansas City) Fail Were you impressed by the former-fatty running a marathon on The Biggest Loser? Sorry. Reality TV isn't real (70)
(Yahoo) Interesting Action Comics #1 to be auctioned online (47)
(Some Zealot) Asinine And today's christian moral outrage is going to be directed towards *spins wheel*...........Olivia Munn (187)
(Variety) Cool Fox renews "The Simpsons" for another two seasons, meaning it will end up with at least 493 episodes, 50 or so which were actually funny (131)
(People Magazine) Silly Gwyneth Paltrow: Stop criticizing my silly web site with its silly name (Goop) and its silly tagline (Nourish The Inner Aspect) "because I have this amazing, super, fortunate life" (53)
(Daily Mail) Sad Brits: Wendy Richard dies of cancer. Americans: the attractive one from Are You Being Served just died, you know the unfunny show on PBS with the gay guy, no the other one (66)
(UPI) Obvious Delusionist Criss Angel and former Hefner trollop Holly Madison break up, says she prefers wrinkled tools over huge ones (83)
(Gawker) Amusing Kenneth the page responds to the internet response to the Republican response to the state of the union address (71)
(AP) Followup Slumdog's child actors return home to heroes welcome, huge backlog of orders for Gap chinos (13)
(News.com.au) Interesting "Australia" becomes Australia's second highest grossing film of all time, coming in just behind that guy with the knife and the crocodiles (40)
(CNN) Cool Good news, everyone It's time for the weekly "Futurama may be renewed" article (56)
(Deceiver) Dumbass Octogramps appears on Oprah's show to complain about the intrusion of the media. You're doing it wrong (35)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Spiffy You're going to need some air for this one, Total Recall is being remade. Producers hope to include a four-boobed alien thanks to todays modern technology (87)
(Chud) Silly "Smallville" renewed for ninth season, in which Clark Kent considers retirement while Jimmy Olson has mid-life crisis (35)
(LA Times) Interesting The most recent episode of Lost has made a couple things quite clear; John Locke is Jesus Christ, Ben is Satan, and Kate is hot (184)
(NYPost) Stupid Chinese censors cut to an old episode of F-Troop when Steven Spielberg was onstage to give the best picture award, as revenge for quitting as artistic adviser to their Olympic games (20)
(BBC) Interesting Final Harry Potter film to be released in 2011. Will his prostate screening come out clean? Can the good wizard Lipitor lower his cholesterol? Will Matlock be out on DVD? (44)
(Paste Magazine) Silly Dan Akroyd is currently on a national tour... selling vodka packaged in a crystal head. Unknown if this was a shot at regaining fame or draining the last of jigger of his integrity (49)
(KillerFilm.com) Cool Michael Cera agrees to Arrested Development movie. He "had not wanted to do the part to avoid being typecast since his filmography is so vast and varied" (97)
(Some Guy) Scary K-Fed wants to put clothes on children. Michael Jackson tells K-Fed he's doing it wrong (19)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Unlikely Jerry Seinfeld is returning to NBC with a new reality series. Not that there's anything wrong with that (47)
(TMZ) Strange Porn purveyors PinkVisual counter-offer Octomom's million dollar porn offer, by offering a year's worth of diapers if she keeps her babymaker away from cameras, fearing she will "become the subject of endless ridicule" (82)

Wed February 25, 2009
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Cool Marvel locks up Sam Jackson to play Nick Fury for up to nine possible films. NINE (94)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Paula Abdul complains that having a fourth judge disrupts the flow of American Idol, giving her less time to ramble on like an incoherent drunk (36)
(Contact Music) Dumbass Morgan Freeman allegedly intoxicated before his 2008 crash. Intoxicated? To him it's just a made up word. A politician's word, so young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and a tie and have a job. What do you really want to know? (50)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Clint Eastwood longs for the days of yore when people could joke about "Sam the Jew" and "José the Mexican" without being pegged as racists. Also not too thrilled with President Black Guy (207)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Interesting Harry Knowles raves about "Watchmen." Before getting excited, keep in mind it's the same Harry Knowles that raved about "Attack of the Clones" back in 2002 (80)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Wheaton "Star Trek" cast to reunite on "Family Guy" (93)
(Daily Mail) Cool Cindy Crawford without makeup manages to look better than 95 per cent of women wearing makeup (104)
(Cinematical) Interesting Director hired for 2011 "Yogi Bear" movie, who'll hopefully capture all the emotional dimensions and complexities of the main character, but more likely to end up in bargain bins with "Garfield" and "Scooby-Doo" (47)
(Contact Music) Interesting After the Grammys forgot to include Dave Matthews' Leroi Moore, now the Oscar forgot to mention Eartha Kitt in tribute segment to stars that have passed away. Hollywood doesn't remember black people (52)
(Daily Express) Ironic Jennifer Love Hewitt says listening to Alanis Morissette records is helping her get over painful breakup with her fiancee (116)
(Starpulse) Cool Amazing Race host Phil Keoghan to bike across the country for multiple charities: "The bicycle is a pretty good solution to helping people's waistlines, wallets and the environment" (21)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Asinine NBC's plan to save itself: remake a failed 2003 reality show and air it every night of the week (30)
(Canoe) Asinine ██ Asians upset over censoring of the words ███ and ████ from the Oscar TV broadcast. "As a ██ man, I am truly offended" (30)
(Den Of Geek) Fail 36 pilots that (mostly) deserve to become nothing (58)
(TMZ) Interesting Vivid offers Octomom $1 million to star in a porn movie. Suggested titles: "8 Babies Out, 8 Men In," "The Hot Dog and Hallway Incident," and "Find My Keys and We'll Drive Out" (187)
(Coming Soon) Sad Who murdered our childhood memories? Gore Verbinski, with the Remake, in the Universal Pictures studio (72)
(LA Times) Interesting LL Cool J to star in a planned spinoff of "NCIS." Their first investigation will be finding a new, non-stupid rap name for him (46)
(Some Old Fogie Timelord) Obvious Doctor Who's Colin Baker tells new Doctor Matt Smith to get off his dimensionally transcendental lawn (33)
(Salon) Ironic NY Post fires Liz Smith (27)
(3 News New Zealand) Sad The recession becomes official as Mr T gives up his bling (28)
(News.com.au) Asinine Rihanna may take Chris Brown back. Mother Whitney and Nana Tina approve (116)
(The Sun) Dumbass In her never-ending quest to be left alone by the MSM, Lily Allen describes how much she likes naked lapdances and Lindsay Lohan.The Sun is there (23)

Tue February 24, 2009
(Some Guy) Obvious Joss Whedon explains why DC Comics characters don't work in movies except for Batman. "Because, with that one big exception, DC's heroes are from a different era. They're from the era when they were creating gods" (144)
(The Sun) Scary In the worst bit of recession-related news yet, Simon Cowell may delay his retirement from TV after losing $22 million on failed real estate investment (12)
(Cracked) Obvious Seven celebrity careers launched by accident; Miley Cyrus conspicuously absent (61)
(Daily Mail) Sappy Poverty-stricken child stars of Slumdog Millionaire get trip to Disneyland, new apartments for themselves and their families. Hollywood loves a happy ending (22)
(UPI) Obvious Megan Fox breaks off her engagement to Brian Austin Green when she realizes that she, Megan Fox, was engaged to Brian... Austin... Green (88)
(UPI) Followup Green Hornet, which was greenlit, then stalled, then moving forwards, then shelved, is on again after Seth Rogen finds someone willing to watch him run around in tights for six months, presumably with the help of some Pineapple Express (23)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Spiffy Five pages of "Star Trek: Countdown," the official prequel to J.J. Abrams' upcoming movie (71)
(TVWeek) Cool Andy Richter signs on to be the new announcer of The Tonight Show. No, this is not a repeat from the year 2000 (64)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Fail How many more "lowest-ratings ever" can "Chuck" and "Heroes" handle before NBC cancels them? (206)
(The Daily Show) Obvious Hugh Jackman is "...charisma stuffed inside a Greek god coated in raw talent, and garnished with what I can only imagine is a spectacular Australian c**k." (95)
(Gawker) Sad Times are so tough, even Annie Leibovitz has to pawn all her pictures, even her self-portrait collection, entitled "Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians" (42)
(Celebitchy) Scary Kelly Pickler had so much botox she looks like an extra from either a Tim Burton movie or a Soundgarden video (with before/after pics) (164)
(Now Magazine) Silly Pot noodle maker creates Steak & Beckinsale flavor, "just like Kate - classically British and a tasty little number". They'd have done Paris Hilton, but they already have one that tastes like crabs (31)
(SlashFilm) Stupid Another "Scream" trilogy is on the way, your little sister will finally have new movies to play for her friends at her next sleepover (29)
(Rolling Stone) Cool Snoop Dogg to get his own TV show entitled "Dogg After Dark," viewers over 35 to wonder why MTV doesn't have shows in English anymore (36)
(Starpulse) Unlikely Hugh Hefner offers Kate Winslet Playboy shoot; apparently thinks there's someone out there who hasn't seen her naked yet (62)
(Reuters) Interesting A pilot for a new show called "Melrose Place" has been ordered. This is not an article from 1992 (24)
(UPI) Amusing Mel Gibson reflects on his anti-semitic remarks to cops during his 2006 arrest for DUI: "I had coffee (with one of the cops) and said 'thanks for getting me off the road. I was a [poopie-head]'" (41)
(UPI) Amusing John Cusack says he wants to spend the remainder of his acting years on serious, dramatic roles, and also Shakespearean theater. Nah I'm just messing with ya: he's doing a movie about a hot tub that is a time machine (71)
(3 News New Zealand) Sad Kate Winslet vows to never strip on camera again (61)
(3 News New Zealand) Scary Americans determined to grow bigger asses than ever (33)
(Some Fish) Hero A certain American icon would have turned 88 years old today. "Vigoda" tag apparently died sometime back in the '80s (65)

Mon February 23, 2009
(News.com.au) Obvious Hugh Jackman deemed cheesy cruiseship entertainer after last night's performance, a "thrifty choice for a recession-era Oscar night" (76)
(Gawker) Asinine Kathy Griffin to be paid $2 million for upcoming memoir, entitled "If You Suck Hard And Long Enough, Eventually You'll Make It In Hollywood" (63)
(MSNBC) PSA If you're not satisfied with the quality of your pancakes, do not assault Nicky Hilton. She will arrest you (37)
(io9) Interesting Why you hate George Lucas, as explained by neurologists (94)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Cool Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria to recommence this Fall 2009? (57)
(Paste Magazine) Cool Director tapped for upcoming Kurt Cobain biopic, who will have the insurmountable task or removing the bad taste in our mouths from the craptastic "Last Days" from Gus Van Sant (58)
(FilmDrunk) Video Mickey Rourke's six minute acceptance speech at the Spirit Awards is more awesome than just about anything that's happened at the Oscars ever (69)
(NYMag) Silly Clearly, Philip Seymour Hoffman is the greatest actor of his generation, as proven by his skull cap (62)
(Celebitchy) Obvious Kiefer Sutherland gets wasted, has a shoving match with stranger then trips twice on his way out the door. Or as he used to call it, Thursdays (42)
(Starpulse) Stupid Jane Fonda performs on Broadway while brain-damaged vets stand outside, protesting her visit to Hanoi... from 37 years ago (309)
(TMZ) Dumbass Protip: When interviewing foreign movie stars, it's best not to assume they speak English (28)
(Den Of Geek) Amusing Comics ideas that Hollywood can't handle (238)
(Some Guy) Interesting Star Wars "science" toys will teach your child to use The Force, measure time in parsecs, reproduce asexually (82)
(Some Guy) Followup The Revised Top 20 Sexy Science Fiction Costumes (now with 100% less Jane Fonda) (168)
(YouTube) Amusing A sneak peek at Mel Gibson's new movie "The Colonel" (72)
(The Sun) Amusing Ben Stiller takes a break from Focker jokes to play bearded, incoherent, gum-chewing Joaquin Phoenix at the Oscars (with video) (69)
(St. Petersburg Times) Silly Why your DVR always cuts off the climax of this week's "Heroes," and why David Letterman's show always runs 28 seconds late (112)
(Entertainment Weekly) Obvious Heath Ledger wins best supporting actor, doesn't even show up for ceremony. (LGT complete list of winners) (298)
(Some Guy) Sad Tyler Perry has the Tyler Perry biggest Tyler Perry opening for a Tyler Perry movie ever. Next up, Tyler Perry: Mall Cop (69)
(Daily Mail) Sad Parents protest disabled television presenter, worried she would scare the snowflakes (99)

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