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Sun February 08, 2009
(Some Guy) Sad Worker dies at Justin Timberlake's golf course, ruled a track hole malfunction (3)
(Starpulse) Unlikely Jennifer Hudson's fiance wants to be a fake wrestler in the WWE. Seriously, hasn't this poor girl been through enough already? (14)
(Dose.ca) Sad Chris Brown under investigation for alleged battery of a woman who may or may not be Rihanna. Wow. And we thought WE hated that "Umbrella" song (38)
(WWTDD) Followup Bale actually did Hollywood a favor; DP is a notorious DB (67)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Ah, ha, ha, ha, Robin Gibb is strayin' alive, strayin' alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, strayin' alive with the live-in housekeeper 26 years his junior (41)
(YouTube) Cool Long before 'The Office' he played guitar in The Grass Roots. Happy birthday Creed Bratton (47)
(Who?) Interesting "And they were never heard from again." It's not a ghost story, it's what happened to about half of "The Daily Show" alumni. On second thought is IS a ghost story (62)
(Some baby website) Amusing Rick Astley on his daughter, Emilie: "I have been very aware of the fact that it's uncool for your dad to be an '80s has-been. That's not comfortable for a teenager." You've been rickroll'd, Emilie (47)
(The Sun) Unlikely Dita von Teese says divorcing Marilyn Manson turned her off sex for a year. Subby thinks the turn-off started a bit sooner (68)
(Now Magazine) Obvious Surprising absolutely no one, Peaches Geldof and her Wentz announce their pending divorce after six months of marriage (28)
(London Times) Cool Eddie Izzard to enter politics. Elections to feature new 'Cake or death?' mode (53)
(io9) Spiffy World's first lesbian superhero to take over Batman's long-running "Detective Comics" until Bruce Wayne returns from wherever he is. Harley Quinn raises curious eyebrow (110)
(ModernFIlmZine) Cool Interview with the zombie master himself, George A. Romero, who doesn't really like horror flicks and is working on a new "untitled Romero project" (36)
(Toronto Star) Interesting Giving the finger termed "crude" by body that classifies movies in Ontario, ranking it slightly more offensive than farting, belching and urinating on strangers (13)

Sat February 07, 2009
(TMZ) Followup Video of Jessica Simpson forgetting her words onstage. Bonus: She traded the mom pants for cutoffs (80)
(London Times) Strange Celebrity chef and publican Marco Pierre White introduces Britain's first gourmet beer to break the £5/pint barrier. "I think most pubs undercharge" (150)
(Celebitchy) Interesting After Sienna Miller lost "Robin Hood" role for being too hot for Russell Crowe, Ridley Scott casts decidedly less faptastic Cate Blanchett for Maid Marian role (63)
(Starpulse) Interesting Stevie Wonder is serious about "Dancing With The Stars." The only thing that worries him, though, is his weight. Wait, what? (23)
(Chud) Unlikely Whedon fanboy Joss Whedon promises upcoming movie "Cabin the the Woods" will be a horror classic (22)
(Metro) Amusing One upside of fame is, if you got raging drunk you can Google yourself in the morning to see how you got home (14)
(Entertainment Weekly) Cool "Battlestar Galactica": Frak. Whatever happens now, it's gonna happen soon (111)
(SlashFilm) Stupid "Donnie Darko" craptastic sequel mercifully goes straight to DVD (62)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Non-human Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are living proof that aliens are alive and well and living on his planet (18)
(Reuters) Obvious Critics disappointed by low-brow humor and lack of "sharp theatrical satire" from Will Ferrell's Broadway debut. What were they expecting? (26)
(Bitten and Bound) Interesting Drew Barrymore's pierced tongue is scaring the guys away. No, wait, we don't think that's why she got it (53)
(People Magazine) Sad If you've always had a thing for those brainy, nerdy yet compellingly hot girls... well, one less one is on the market today (tag is for the loss of subby's dreams) (63)
(London Times) Obvious Is it time to kill the chick flick? Oh please say yes, please say yes (184)

Fri February 06, 2009
(io9) Cool The ten most expensive comic books at the New York Comic Con. Commence "Comic Book Guy" jokes...now (92)
(3 News New Zealand) Sad James Whitmore escapes planet of the humans, aged 87 (50)
(Entertainment Weekly) Spiffy How "Lost"'s Season Five is the craziest one yet (106)
(ABC News) Interesting Roy Horn to perform onstage for one time only performance. His and Siegfired's agent salutes Roy's bravery and determination. "He's really sticking his neck out on this one" (19)
(Kansas City) Obvious Pink Panther 2: the mystery of the missing laughs (72)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Interesting Star of "Burn Notice" gets his salary doubled. No word on what Bruce Campbell gets for carrying his lame ass every week (111)
(io9) Scary Can Science Fiction withstand the worst actor in the world? Not that one the other one, no the other one, keep going, yep Orlando Bloom is going to be in The Cross (51)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Obvious Push has a lot in common with Jumper, but instead of the vast black hole of suck that is Hayden Christensen it has the vortex of suck that is Chris Evans (31)
(Entertainment Weekly) Interesting Bad economy means no raises for actors on CBS dramatic series, forcing David Caruso to be careful when whipping those sunglasses off, because they have to last (13)
(iF Magazine) Asinine Masa Oki, aka Hiro from "Heroes," tries to explain why the show didn't really suck ass the past few seasons, it was just you (54)
(Starpulse) Unlikely Celebrities are trying to bring the mustache back. Oh it never left, it's always there, just under the surface, waiting (41)
(Cinematical) Followup Christian Bale apologizes: "Feel free to make fun of me at my expense; I deserve it completely" (119)
(MSNBC) Obvious Carlos Mencia pulled from Mardi Gras parade for making Hurricane Katrina jokes, being Carlos Mencia (80)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Amusing What if every new show on TV was about a cop, doctor, lawyer or a remake? It's called next Fall (47)
(London Times) Amusing Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson under fire again, this time for calling Gordon Brown a "one-eyed Scottish idiot", although authorities maintain telling the truth does not breach the Broadcasting Code (44)
(AP) Spiffy Val Kilmer ponders run for NM Governor in 2010, pie for breakfast every day (73)
(Reuters) Followup Miley's "goofy face" taken out of context. Disney to sue for defamation of a character (144)
(Fox News) Obvious Back Street Boy Nick Carter says booze and drugs almost killed him. Better luck next time, booze and drugs (55)

Thu February 05, 2009
(prnewswire) Cool 'Battlestar Galactica' prequel "Caprica" to be exclusively released on DVD. Mark your frakkin' calendar for April 21 (82)
(UGO) Cool Exclusive images from the unreleased companion book 'Watchmen: The Art of the Film', with thoughts from photographer Clay Enos, who details each individual image (44)
(Huffington Post) Stupid Andy Dick discusses peeing in a cop car and admitting that he "borders on retardation" when he drinks: "It's like making fun of a mentally handicapped person, because I am when I have that much alcohol" (42)
(Dlisted) Dumbass "The View" ladies watch anti-Palin commercial on wolf-killing, which Hasselbeck associates with abortion. Yeah, it's "punch your monitor" time (125)
(Rabies the Dog) Cool Complete "Bloom County" to be released in October 2008. Will join "Complete" Far Side where half the strips are redrawn, and "Complete" Calvin and Hobbes" where 2 strips are edited and 1 is not included at all (102)
(io9) Cool Robot Chicken presents: Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan, The Opera (30)
(USA Today) Interesting Aretha Franklin's hat re-records its "preferred version" of "my country 'tis of thee" for release this week (12)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting Behind the scenes with the doctor that consults for "House." About four-fifths of the way through the article, you'll stop and stare into space with a moment of epiphany (52)
(Starpulse) Amusing Stephen Colbert goes all Christian Bale on Steve Martin (29)
(Dose.ca) Cool Katee Sackhoff: "I would rather be typecast as an independent, strong woman than go to work with fake tits up to my chin and pretend to be the slutty girl." Can't she do both? (53)
(Contact Music) Amusing James Cameron reserves the right to hate the new Terminator film if it fails to meet his high standards (44)
(Variety) Asinine Hollywood scapes bottom, finds a bigger barrel to scrape underneath: "Candy Land" coming to the big screen (48)
(Cinematical) Weird Creepy Twilight fan makes creepy felt womb complete with creepy felt mutant fetus (143)
(Comedy Central) Amusing Colbert congratulates the new leader of the Republican party-Rush Limbaugh (140)
(Fox News) Stupid Jane Fonda still furious, irrelevant (50)
(Boston Globe) Obvious If Dennis Leary promises to buy your city a fire truck, get the money up front before you order it. Preferably in cash (157)
(Entertainment Weekly) Interesting Clay Aiken to be a guest judge on "America's Next Top Model," which for a gay man is like going to the Super Bowl (16)
(CNN) Silly Unexpected quote from an article about a thirty-something's biological clock: "I hate running. So you're not going to see me doing it -- unless I'm being chased by a pack of fast, blood-thirsty zombies." (64)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Amusing Roger Ebert tells fanboys to get a life, in his review of "Fanboys" (76)
(Some Guy) Obvious Warner Bros. announces they'll be using the "Harry Potter franchise formula" for long-running movie series based on Batman, Superman, Sherlock Holmes, and the Watchmen. 007 not amused (77)
(Monsters & Critics) Unlikely Not news: Keira Knightley's favorite meal is Indian curry with Cobra beer. News: Keira Knightley eats food (61)
(Some Thespian) Cool Do you know which actor has the most Oscar noms? You want the answer? You want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH (23)
(Some Prefixer) Wheaton When Wil posts on Fark, it's newsworthy. Or at least blogworthy (70)
(Variety) Spiffy 007's "Casino Royale" director in talks to helm big-screen "Green Lantern" adaptation. Expect a leaner, grittier Hal Jordan to be kicked in the nuts a lot (34)
(Telegraph) Interesting Gwyneth Paltrow is going to write a cook book filled with recipes of dishes that look great on the outside, but ultimately will leave you hungry for something with more substance  T-Shirt (24)
(Showbiz Spy) Cool "Tropic Thunder" sequel? Robert Downey, Jr. isn't going full-retard on this one (51)
(Wired) Amusing We'll do it live: Top 10 celebrity rants caught on tape (29)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Asinine Lionsgate "realizes" that they own the rights to the movie "PUSH," one day before its release. Sueology ensues (26)
(Contact Music) Amusing Britney Spears gets the best opening act money can buy for upcoming "Circus" tour: K-Fed (23)

Wed February 04, 2009
(Contact Music) Spiffy Penelope Cruz: "When I first came to America I made a lot of mistakes, like going to the hair salon and asking for a blow job instead of a blow dry" (47)
(Some Guy) Scary Original "Hellraiser" FX artist redesigns Pinhead for upcoming remake (pics). Too bad no one in Hollywood believes in Cenobites (46)
(Contact Music) Amusing John Cleese on Python's Terry Jones: "He and I never got on. What Terry cannot accept is that the Welsh are a servile nation that God put on the planet to carry out menial tasks for the English" (48)
(MSNBC) Followup Angry Bale 2009 takes an exciting new turn as more information is released regarding the events surrounding his rant (66)
(Bitten and Bound) Interesting Jude Law portrays a hot transvestite supermodel in his latest flick and pulls it off convincingly. (pic) (55)
(Starpulse) Spiffy "Fringe" star Anna Torv marries her co-star & on-screen lover, Mark "Chiselface" Valley (53)
(FilmDrunk) Unlikely Farrelly Brothers looking to cast Three Stooges movie with Johnny Depp as Moe, Sean Penn as Larry. Hopefully they can get Vin Diesel as Curly (53)
(Dlisted) Strange Jennifer Aniston reveals that she still keeps answering machine tapes of messages Brad Pitt left for her .... in a cardboard shoebox under her bed, labelled "WHY BRAD, WHY??" Yeah, she's clearly moved on (29)
(Deadspin) Followup Female actress featured in Tuscon Comcast Super Bowl porn mixup embraces her newfound fame. That's odd; Weird tag didn't order any pizza (64)
(Dlisted) Amusing Etta James is PISSED that Beyonce sang "at last" at Obama's inauguration: "She's going to get her ass whooped. How dare Beyonce sing MY song that I been singing forever." (80)
(Starpulse) Interesting Robert Downey Jr. dismisses rumours of Mickey Rourke as Crimson Dynamo but doesn't deny he might play Whiplash: "The nerd stuff is top-drawer security" (24)
(Starpulse) Amusing Vivica A. Fox will be the host of "The Cougar," a new reality show where an older woman looks to date younger men. And no, it's not airing on VH1 (49)
(Contact Music) Cool Hank Azaria becomes a dad, looking forward to many years of wrapping his hands around his neck while uttering "WHY YOU LITTLE @&$#" (71)
(Huffington Post) Followup After Faye Dunaway asked "Couldn't they at least cast a real actress?" on "Bonnie & Clyde" remake casting announcement, lead actress Hillary Duff hits back: "I might be mad if I looked like that now too" (129)
(Burlington Free Press) Interesting Cancelled as commencement speaker at the University of Vermont because of his support for creationism, Ben Stein calls the whole episode "pathetic" and "irritating to the eyes" (311)
(Contact Music) Stupid Erykah Badu, next celebrity contestant in the "let's give our newborn a name that will scar him forever and ostracise him from the other children" (98)
(MSNBC) Obvious Recession forcing celebrities to sell extra homes, wear outfits only twice and cut hookers and blow budgets. That sound you hear is John Williams soundtrack of world's tiniest violin symphony (13)
(Free Press) Spiffy Visual effects studio to open in downtown Detroit. FX wizards say it makes it a lot cheaper to step outside and shoot scenes for the new "Terminator" movie, set in a post-apocalyptic future (26)
(AP) Interesting Carnie Wilson will be the new host of "The Newlywed Game," but with a twist: She eats the two losing couples (36)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting How 10 different actors tried to bounce back from a big movie flop (87)
(Guardian.com) Obvious BBC fires TV host for using the G-word (65)
(AP) Amusing Letterman to Blago: "The more you talked, and the more you repeated your innocence, the more I said to myself, 'Oh, this guy is guilty'" (67)
(AJC) Followup Disbanded Jonesboro High School dance squad taking their tight bodies and skimpy outfits to Tyra. Fire up the TiVos, boys (85)
(AP) Obvious Elizabeth Edwards is writing a book about how to be a doormat while your husband treats you like crap (69)
(CNN) Followup Rights groups pleads with House to extend deadline for TV switch, expect sympathy for the poor, disabled, elderly. They've apparently never actually seen the show (164)
(Now Magazine) Obvious Angelina Jolie says she doesn't like watching her movies. Join the club, toots (68)
(Onion AV Club) Interesting Hell is plastic: 18 CD/DVD releases marred by gimmicky packaging. No. 1? Kenny G jewelboxes that prevent the discs from becoming scratched, and hence unplayable (86)
(ETonline.com) Cool Former CSI star William Petersen gets star on Hollywood Walk of Fame in ceremony that involved lots of spooky lighting and shifty camera effects (25)
(Variety) Cool Pacino to play King Lear in movie adaptation. Let copulation thrive (20)
(Lonely Geek) Spiffy Retro review: How "Back to the Future III" destroyed the space-time continuum (256)

Tue February 03, 2009
(Yahoo) Obvious Stephen King: the difference between JK Rowling and "Twilight" author Stephenie Meyer is that Meyer "can't write worth a darn. She's not very good" (300)
(Some Buzz-Sucker) Cool Proving Broadway finally has some great ideas. The Hudsucker Proxy Musical. ( You know, for kids) (51)
(UGO) Amusing Christian Bale Goes Ballistic: The Soundboard. It was only a matter of time (Not safe for work language) (117)
(The Times of India) Stupid Proving yet again that everything awesome eventually gets turned into crap, "Slumdog Millionaire" to become a reality series (36)
(Some Guy) Interesting Experts discuss the feasibility of the technology shown on "24," including a single firewall protecting the whole government, whether a hacker could control airlines and why Jack can get cell phone coverage in a submarine (66)
(Variety) Interesting Why can't American broadcast TV adopt the British model of six- or eight-show seasons? That way the nuts on "Lost" would be home already instead of wherever they are now (137)
(Starpulse) Sad SNL, not content with neverending commercial breaks, keeps blurring the line between TV show and long-winded commercial: "It's not just an ad for Pepsi, it's an ad for 'Saturday Night Live'" (72)
(Some Guy) Dumbass What's worse than writing the script for "Paul Blart: Mall Cop?" Stealing the script for "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" (24)
(SlashFilm) Amusing Less than 24 hours after its release, Christian Bale's tirade is already a great dance remix and a parody (Not safe for work language) (98)
(Starpulse) Sad A sentence that submitter thought he'd never see: Who Looks Worse - Jennifer Connelly Or Scarlett Johansson? (132)
(The Superficial) Asinine Nick Hogan driving again after maiming a friend, balding at 20 (37)
(Billings Gazette) Obvious The Yellowstone volcano exploded violently 2 million years ago, it'll take longer than that for Ken Burns to tell you about it (10)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Silly New Captain Kirk wins award for being famous in the future (22)
(Starpulse) Ironic Son of "Heroes" star Greg Grunberg undergoes successful brain surgery to treat epilepsy. Tag relates to Grunberg's character on the show (35)
(Some Guy) Wheaton Wheaton wearing a Fark t-shirt, holding a painting of Wheaton wearing a Fark t-shirt, holding a velvet painting of Wesley Crusher. It's the ciiiiiircle of life (94)
(Yeeeah) Obvious Now that Lindsay Lohan is all growed up and out of the house, Dina resorts to skanking up, pimping out 14-year-old Ali (66)
(Starpulse) Unlikely Producer claims that A-list movie stars are calling him in hopes of being cast as new Freddy Krueger in "Nightmare on Elm Street" remake. He must be dreaming (31)
(AP) Dumbass Actor Gary Collins completes his very own DUI trifecta (20)
(AP) Followup Comcast to offer $10 dollar credit for Tucson fans as their way of saying sorry for showing the huge dong during the Super Bowl (51)
(Celebitchy) Stupid Gwyneth Paltrow: "How could people hate me, my intentions or what I'm trying to do? I'm a good person and I'm trying to put good things into the world" (75)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Interesting Ernest Hemingway biopic in the works. No lead actor found yet but the screenplay, based on the last 14 years of his life, is said to be explosive and mindblowing (67)
(Some Guy) Spiffy First look at Neil Gaiman's "Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?" (100)
(The Sun) Amusing Madonna is reunited with Jesus. The Sun is there (15)
(The New York Times) Spiffy FX drama "Rescue Me" goes full-out tinfoil (328)

Mon February 02, 2009
(Some AZN) Sad Miley Cyrus continues the downward spiral, caught making slant eyes to mock Asians (137)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Fail How do you know NBC doesn't like its new drama series that premieres next month? When it doesn't mention the show during the Super Bowl (25)
(Entertainment Weekly) Dumbass Elizabeth Hasselbeck: "He's being paid millions to be an example." Whoopi: "He's just a spokesman for some company, have some weed" (214)
(Some Guy) Scary Carrot Top will do anything for a laugh. Including scaring the shiat out of you (with nightmare photo) (63)
(E! Online) Interesting NFL great Lawrence Taylor may appear on "Dancing With the Stars." Contacted for a response, the Hall-of-Famer said, "Dancing? I thought they said Free-Basing" (21)
(Defamer) Scary Zack Snyder previews Watchmen 2. Tag is because there is no unholy abomination tag (78)
(TMZ) Audio Christian Bale goes American psycho on director of photography who accidentally ruins a scene (very Not safe for work audio) (280)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting Why Groundhog Day was one of the last great Hollywood comedies (104)
(Telegraph) Silly Homer Simpson weighs in on the economic downturn: "If I was President Obama for a day, I'd order the Treasury to stop printing money and start brewing beer. That would end this depression pretty damn fast" (18)
(io9) Cool Concept art for the battle of Yonkers, from the movie adaptation of World War Z (151)
(Rev. Jeff Probst) Sad "Arranged Marriage" coming soon to CBS. Its like Survivor meets the 12th Century (57)
(Contact Music) Spiffy Clint Eastwood awarded Modern Master Award, growls 'Get off my lawn' (42)
(Guardian.com) Interesting The following interview takes place between 3pm and 4pm (24)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting Why Groundhog Day was one of the last great Hollywood comedies (164)
(Some Guy) Amusing Kevin Bacon reveals the secret to a successful marriage: "You have to keep the fights clean and the sex dirty." (36)
(Telegraph) Cool Damn you Erno Rubik. Damn you to hell (41)
(NY Magazine) Obvious NPR's Ira Glass: "Newspapers are mostly really terrible and they deserve to die. And network news is mostly really terrible and it deserves to go down" (94)

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