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Sun January 25, 2009
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Obvious Someone at Sony Pictures finally realized that a Green Hornet movie is A) Something that nobody really cares about, and B) Nobody really wants to see Seth Rogen as The Green Hornet (27)
(Daily Star) Interesting Finally, some good comes out of the credit crunch: Half the world's R&B stars are going bankrupt(some Not safe for work-ish side bar pics) (29)
(Blender) Amusing Axl Rose having elephants delivered by helicopters, David Bowie greeting the British press with a Nazi salute and Ol' Dirty Bastard calling a female district attorney "sperm doctor": The 50 craziest pop stars ever (40)
(DHD) Stupid "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" still #1 movie in USA. "Again, if Americans want Hollywood to make better quality movies, then they should stop showing up for crappy ones" (101)
(Starpulse) Obvious Morgan Freeman wants to get busy livin' even while his hand is paralyzed (15)
(YouTube) Amusing In honor of Rabbie Burns 250th birthday, here's Ewan McTeagle, Scottish Poet (13)
(STLToday) Interesting 15,000 show up at shopping mall to audition for 2,100 minimum wage jobs as an extra in a George Clooney movie. Must be able to stand for 13 hours and endure extended exposure to smug (37)
(St. Petersburg Times) Interesting Tampa's 30 strip clubs prepare for their Super Bowl week, as mercenary strippers fly in from across the nation to qualify for pole positions (33)
(Contact Music) Interesting "Slumdog Millionaire" director Danny Boyle dogged about not sharing credit with his co-director (23)
(London Times) Amusing Oliver Stone tires of upsetting US estabishment, moves on to pissing off Argentina (9)
(Star-Bulletin) Dumbass As a musician with anti-drug lyrics, you really shouldnʻt have 50 POUNDS of meth in your apartment (35)
(Contact Music) Strange Mickey Rourke on why he hasn't watched his Oscar-nominated performance: "I don't watch anything until 3, 4, 5 years go by." Wait until he learns that he was in "Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man" (22)
(Daily Mail) Amusing The ABBA chicks look the same today, right down to the unfortunate shiny pants with weird creases (36)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Miley Cyrus is an Iron Maiden fan (118)

Sat January 24, 2009
(Entertainment Weekly) Spiffy 2009 to be a good year for werewolf movie lovers. Boof nods approvingly (52)
(Backseat Cuddler) Dumbass Tracy Morgan is proud of his 'stove top' tattoo on his wee wee (45)
(Daily Mail) Scary Lindsay Lohan's cocaine and vodka tonic diet is really paying off (96)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Sarah Jessica Parker says 'neigh' to rumors that her marriage is in trouble (73)
(Starpulse) Stupid Since nobody watches it anymore, the Miss America Pageant will air live tonight on TLC. Yes, that's TLC, as in 'The Learning Channel' (67)
(Spiegel) Silly As Germany catches Tom Cruise fever, city of Berlin posts warnings about Scientology (35)
(UPI) Interesting Anne Hathaway and Robert Downey Jr. admit to googling themselves. Anne says she isn't comfortable how information about her is being reported as news on the Internet, like how much she enjoys anal sex (85)
(The Local (Germany)) Amusing Educators concerned that movie depicting nude scenes, masturbation, profanity, violence, and people smoking pot might not be appropriate for a high school English class (29)
(Geno's World) Spiffy Jennifer Love Hewitt's ex says she's a f-bomb dropping, seven-guy cheating pimp, who uses the same lines on all the guys she bags (83)
(UPI) Spiffy Twenty two new shows to open on Broadway this season. Fabulous (30)

Fri January 23, 2009
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Spiffy Underworld: Rise of the Lycans may not be the best movie ever, but shockingly enough, it may not be the worst movie ever either (77)
(Yahoo) Sappy Girl who played Zoey Bartlet is engaged to the guy who does the crappy Obama impersonation on SNL (50)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Interesting If this picture of Sylvester Stallone at age 62 proves one thing, it's that submitter will be starting a regimen of steroids and HGH tomorrow (53)
(Newsarama) Sad Alfred E. Neuman starts to worry a bit, MAD magazine goes quarterly (74)
(Some Guy) Obvious Actual headline: "Winning Posthumous Acting Oscar Not Easy." For starters, you have to be dead, and where's the fun in that? (9)
(Celebitchy) Unlikely Remember Blossom? She wants to get back to acting. Props to her for skipping the "I can't handle being a child star so I need an 8-ball of coke daily just to face the sun" and instead got a PhD in neuroscience from UCLA (98)
(WTOP) Interesting Patrick Swayze is going to write a book with his wife. Most people write with a computer or even a pen, but the man's sick, I say let him give it a try (25)
(MSNBC) Misc Falling demographic puts future of daytime soaps, Bon Bon and Cheetos consumption in doubt (21)
(Cracked) Asinine The five worst advice givers on television. Number one pretty obvious in retrospect (97)
(Guardian.com) Unlikely Jean-Claude Van Damme: "I am planning on making sequels to Bloodsport and Double Impact... I now truly believe it is impossible for me to make a bad movie" (60)
(Wall Street Journal) Weird What's next for Chris Rock: A comedy tour? Another cop movie? sitcom? No. A documentary on the "growth of the $9 billion industry rooted in the maintenance of African-American hair and its place in ethnic community." Seriously (36)
(CNN) Interesting "If I Ran the Zoo," published in 1950, is the first recorded instance of the word "nerd" (20)
(WWTDD) Fail Shia LeBeouf attempts to out-wit the paparazzi (50)
(New York Daily News) Obvious Unsurprisingly, Andy Dick admits to not being very discriminatory in the bedroom: "I'm trisexual, I'll try anything" (55)
(LA Times) Strange Universal Studios shows how it can stay on the cutting edge with Creature From the Black Lagoon: The Musical (9)
(Dlisted) Amusing If you need any further proof that Wentz = douchebag, click the link (102)
(NYPost) Interesting Larry King lost more than $1 million with Bernie Maddoff, which is why he still needs to drag his desiccated corpse onto TV every night instead of retiring to Del Boca Vista (14)
(Onion AV Club) Interesting "Everyone has at least one work of art that they just don't understand the hype about. What are yours?" There Will Be Blood, No Country For Old Men, Blade Runner and Mel Brooks movies: Utter snooze fests (310)
(The New York Times) Spiffy Pervert's guide to cinema is out. No. It doesn't advise you to carry quarters or tissues (18)
(celebuzz) Amusing Kanye West is irked once again, and that means more CAP LOCKS: "HAD THE TWO GREATEST DAYS OF MY LIFE AND WHEN I GET BACK FROM THE LOUIE SHOW I READ SOME S--T CLAIMING I SAID I'M DOWN TO DO PORN AND SOME BISEXUAL PORN" (50)
(The Superficial) Amusing Protip: if you're going to get your picture taken at a movie premiere - especially one for which you've been nominated for an Oscar - please make sure your barn door is closed (39)
(Boing Boing) Spiffy While YouTube is removing Twisted Sister and Poison videos off their site, Monty Python's free web video increases DVD sales by 23,000 percent, climbing to #2 on Amazon bestsellers list (36)
(Telegraph) Obvious Broken penis episode of Grey's anatomy leads to surge in internet searches for broken penises, crossed legs (53)
(Starpulse) Obvious Another Friday, another Osbourne enters rehab (23)
(NYMag) Interesting Only two things could make James Gandolfini agree to a Soprano movie: Either a good script or utter starvation (32)
(Daily Mail) Silly Madonna battles Guy Ritchie over whether their kids will say "tomato" or "tomahto" (28)
(Stuff) Silly Forget about Gaza, Iraq, and Afghanistan - the Hilton sisters are at war (23)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Bionic woman picked as Doctor Who's next assistant (69)
(Entertainment Weekly) Silly "G.I. Joe" director swears he didn't make Sienna Miller wear fake rubber boobies (74)

Thu January 22, 2009
(Jezebel.com) Interesting Straight male porn stars explain their participation in "gay for pay" porn. [Tyra show video goodness] (153)
(Starpulse) Dumbass Member of Bahamian Parliament says John Travolta extortion plot "should not destroy the character of the country." You know, unlike offshore gambling and that whole Anna Nicole Smith thing (19)
(Rolling Stone) Amusing Ah the good old days, when you could vent about about a bad, but truthful Rolling Stone article about you on your radio show and have the last word. Too bad for internet phobic Artie Lange those days are long gone (54)
(Telegraph) Spiffy Larry King's eight-year-old son wishes he was black, also wishes dad was younger than Yoda (18)
(Geno's World) Video Construction workers almost impale and crush Ben Affleck's daughter while trying to defend them against a swarm of paparazzi. Add some killer bees and a wild boar and we'd have an hour long Fox special (49)
(Some smoke monster) Interesting The ten most useless castaways from "Lost". Warning: slideshow (75)
(Starpulse) Cool Dakota Fanning in talks to play an Italian vampire in the next Twilight movie (62)
(Variety) Stupid NBC to spend money it should be using to hire writers and producers who aren't brain-damaged to pay an image consultant to rebrand the network (27)
(Starpulse) Amusing Cate Blanchett: "I'm going to be licked by millions of Australians and I can't wait" (30)
(Celebslam) Spiffy Nick Hogan seen driving in Escalade golf cart. Gopher casualties expected within the week, so he's got that going for him (15)
(Comedy Central) Amusing Stephen Colbert's remix challenge (10)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Interesting Ben Affleck offers surprisingly cogent thoughts on the financial meltdown and the bailout. Matt Damon available for comment, but can only say MAAAATT DAAAAMON (66)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Who knew Simon Le Bon had such a hot daughter? In fact, who knew Simon Le Bon wasn't gay? (80)
(Starpulse) Followup Rachel McAdams' off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again romance with Ryan Gosling is off. Again (56)
(LA Times) Weird The Dude does not abide (51)
(Contact Music) Amusing Terry Gilliam: "(Benicio Del Toro) required a lot of handling, and, after a while, his need to be so intense wore a lot of us out" (41)
(LA Times) Dumbass At least you'll get your girlfriend out of the house for another three hours (41)
(Google) Obvious "The Dark Knight" not so serious a contender for the 81st Academy Awards (293)
(FilmDrunk) Dumbass Chrysler uses bailout money to sponsor "Terminator 4" (58)
(Variety) Stupid Hollywood is out of ideas: "Terminator: Salvation" producer to adapt live-action origin story of Tom & Jerry for big screen (34)
(NYPost) Silly Brady Bunch (well 4 of them anyway) goes out for brunch in NYC. It's not news, it's the NY Post (14)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Still-hittable Sigourney Weaver inadvertently gives "The View" viewers the view (pics) (91)
(NYPost) Sad One year on, SoHo apartment where Heath Ledger died is still vacant. The landlord would like to rent it again, but couldn't find a serious enough applicant (27)
(Perez Hilton) Followup The Jodie Sweetin divorce is getting nasty, as a crew member comes forward to talk about her star-trailer coke parties (60)
(Sports by Brooks) Amusing "Rock of Love" reality show contestant pops her breast implant during hockey-themed segment. No truth to the rumor that Sean Avery served as technical advisor for episode (44)
(Contact Music) Spiffy Forest Whitaker to present James Earl Jones with a Lifetime Achievement Award at the Screen Actors Guild Awards. Remember, everyone, this is SAG. This is not CNN (23)
(Contact Music) Dumbass Lindsay Lohan in her own words as she blames the paparazzi for her car crashes: "I am sort of a speed demon. It's exhilarating" (21)

Wed January 21, 2009
(Celebitchy) Amusing Jim Carrey says kissing Ewan McGregor for new movie "a dream come true"... and somewhere, right now, Tom Cruise is softly weeping into his pillow (28)
(LA Weekly) Wheaton Wil Wheaton reflects on fatherhood. Excuse me, the wind blew something into my eyes (133)
(MTV) Interesting Nine things that will not be answered this season of LOST (311)
(The Sun) Obvious Celebrity Big Brother producers surprised their stable of aging has-beens and never-weres has failed to attract teen viewers (7)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Silly Finally, you can have a Barbie and try to play it off as just being a science fiction fan (15)
(Toronto Star) Interesting National Film Board of Canada puts hundreds of classic movies online, including the thriller, "What's Your Problem, Eh?" and the slapstick comedy, "All Aboot Mary Walsh" (62)
(Daily Stab) Stupid Rihanna now joins the list of obnoxious celebs that thinks just because she's hit it big as an artist she can now become an actress (42)
(Gawker) Amusing Diane Sawyer can't hold her inaugural ball liquor [video goodness] (59)
(Some Guy) Amusing Zsa Zsa Gabor and her husband, Prince Frederic von Asshat, face financial ruin after he convinced her to bet everything on Madoff. Either that or he is just attention whoring again (39)
(Celebslam) Sad Val Kilmers is still a ladies' man . . . though it looks like the ladies have changed from Cindy Crawford and Elisabeth Shue to Sara Lee and Little Debbie (82)
(UPI) Misc Steve Martin to host Saturday Night Live yet again, remind the world how funny they both used to be (84)
(MSNBC) Interesting Games targeted for girls feature washing dishies, rocking babies, ironing shirts, making sammiches, shutting whore mouths (139)
(LA Times) Unlikely No, "Lie to Me" is not "The Mentalist," which is not "The Closer," which is not "Monk," which is not "Columbo" (109)
(Vator.tv) Interesting Obama comes in at #5...behind US losing to Ghana. Wait, we lost to Ghana? (41)
(Daily Mail) Sad Katie Holmes now approaching bobblehead status, still towers over Tom (63)
(UPI) Silly If you couldn't make it to Washington for "Obama, The Inauguration", you can still get to London to see "Obama, The Musical" (11)
(AP) Spiffy Marilyn Monroe memorablia damaged by burst water pipe at Americana Hollywood museum in Metropolis Illinois. In other news there is an Americana Hollywood Museum in Metropolis Illinois (19)
(London Times) Ironic Slum dweller sues stars of Slumdog Millionaire for insulting the poor (19)
(Wall Street Journal) Spiffy The largest-grossing independent film of 2008 cost $500,000 to make, generated $33 million in sales, and you never heard of it because you're not an evangelical Christian or a Kirk Cameron fan (170)
(St. Petersburg Times) Interesting Brad Pitt thinks being eaten by a shark would be an interesting way to die, admits his risk is slim since Angie's catfish lips scare away most ocean predators (49)
(Daily Mail) Obvious "Life on Mars" star survives serious car crash, wakes up in 2009 (29)
(E! Online) Interesting ER hottie Parminder Nagra marries her own snapper  T-Shirt (41)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting 12 really good films that are best switched off around halfway through (179)
(Daily Mail) Scary The photo of Amy Winehouse that convinced Amy Winehouse to stop doing drugs (96)
(Metro) Cool Hot Russian figure skater suffers wardrobe malfunction during performance (w/Not safe for work pic) (125)

Tue January 20, 2009
(E! Online) Video Four sneak peeks of tomorrow's premier of LOST (55)
(SlashFilm) Weird After upcoming "Green Hornet" role, what else is there for Seth Rogen to portray? A cloned Jesus, of course (26)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Amusing Paul Rudd stars in a new R rated "bromantic" comedy.....and it's actually funny (39)
(LA Times) Interesting Old and Busted: Mariah Carey, Razzie Winner. The New Hotness: Mariah Carey, Sundance Contender (26)
(Some Guy) Unlikely 95% of music downloads are illegal, according to the US Department of Pulling Figures Out of Our Ass (136)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Billie Piper admits being a mother is very tiring and is struggling to find time to rest. if only there was some sort of machine that could take her back in time, perhaps one that travels through relative dimensions in space (53)
(NYPost) Interesting Much like the host himself, "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" is green and recycled (45)
(Defamer) Scary It's official: Ralph Macchio is Dorian Gray (93)
(Contact Music) Amusing 50 Cent takes a shot at creating a film production company called Cheetah Vision (21)
(FMQB) Followup In spite of doing everything on Inauguration Day in hopes no one will notice the final raping of the corpse that was once commercial radio, more details emerge of Clear Channel's employee massacre (75)
(MSN) Spiffy Ladies: "Veronica Mars" movie in the works. Guys: Kristen Bell heading for the big screen (121)
(Telegraph) Amusing Actual Headline: Paris Hilton: I'm not an Airhead (with airhead pic) (60)
(ABC News) Caption Caption this legless Glenn Close (80)
(Contact Music) Stupid Britney Spears might receive $14 million for an autobiography deal. If you read ten random Britney Spears headlines on Fark, congratulations, you just saved yourself $30 (23)

Mon January 19, 2009
(SlashFilm) Interesting Having exploited all decent horror movies to be made into sequels, Hollywood starts to scrape the bottom of the barrel with a bowie knife: "The Amityville Tapes" to mercyfully go straight to DVD (42)
(MTV) Amusing Sam Rockwell doesn't know much about his "Iron Man 2" character; only recently discovered he was even in the comics (34)
(YouTube) Amusing Audio of Patti LuPone flipping out at audience member for taking pics during a performance of "Gypsy". Tomorrow's follow up: pics of Patti LuPone flipping out at an audience member for recording her flipping out over pics (51)
(SlashFilm) Cool Japanese web site had exclusive previews of the next Harry Potter film. Spoiler Alert: Dumbledore dies in frame 2,465,987 (44)
(Some Comic Geek Guy) Wheaton Wil Wheaton: Batman's BBF (47)
(WWTDD) Hero Miss USA 1991 now does porn, and like such as (109)
(Breitbart.com) Hero "Starbuck -- Lost in Castration": Dirk Benedict reveals how he fought the network suits and finally pulled off one of the finest character portrayals in history. With a straight face, no less (154)
(Starpulse) Silly Jim Carrey gets his birthday on with 50 Cent and G-Unit: "Jim was bumping and grinding with (G-Unit member) Lloyd Banks. It was pandemonium in the best way" (12)
(Fox News) Obvious How do you know your trendy little independent film fest has become another Hollywood suckfest? When the biggest celeb story in town is Hulk Hogan's ex-wife partying up a storm (11)
(Wired) Asinine Self-proclaimed "GeekDad" won't teach Star Wars in the home. Kids forced to learn about it on the playground, the way I had to learn about sex. Just like me, they got it ALL wrong (139)
(Cracked) Silly Five absurd superhero origin stories. As if there was some other kind (53)
(Business & Media) Dumbass Spike Lee: God Caused Economy to Collapse to help Obama (152)
(Spike) Cool Ten awesome things you punks didn't know about Clint Eastwood (73)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Tori Spelling has her colt-like figure back just in time for 90210 revival, says she was chomping at the bit to get back in action (bikini pics) (59)
(Contact Music) Amusing John Cleese's new 27-year-old lover was initially concerned about sleeping with someone so old. "They're normally saggy down there, but he has a really nice package" (69)
(SlashFilm) Amusing If you see only one version of Forrest Gump this year, make it The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (89)
(Entertainment Weekly) Interesting 25 Black Sci-Fi Icons (124)
(The Sun) Amusing Robert Downey Jr. mad at Guy Ritchie for making him wear high heels, says he feels like Tom Cruise (14)
(Den Of Geek) Followup Why Stan Lee's "first gay superhero" isn't the first gay superhero at all. And why the mass media has got it very, very wrong (86)
(Bitten and Bound) Cool In the battle of the magazine cover girl wars, the February celebrities all look like winners, with the exception of Eva Longoria, who appears to have given up on glam (33)
(UPI) Interesting Bus carrying 52 Miss America contestants gets lost during their first night in Vegas. Surprisingly, this is not part of Cinemax's Friday night line up (27)
(London Times) Spiffy If your university lecturer used to be the guitarist in The Smiths, what difference would it make? (53)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Kelly Osbourne arrested after slapping columnist who: (a) called her a fat, ugly no-talent assclown; (b) accused her of riding her dad's coat tails; or (c) called her boyfriend stupid (24)
(Gawker) Stupid Tom Cruise has rules for Journalists interviewing him: 1) must have seen Valkyrie 2) must have liked Valkyrie 3) don't say anything about Mr. Cruise's booster seat (35)
(Reuters) Strange Canada's next Prime Minister to be chosen from the categories Anal Bum Cover, The Penis Mightier, and Potent Potables (54)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Misc Hugh Jackman emails Harry Knowles to reassure him that "Wolverine" will be badass (35)
(Some Guy) Weird Mickey Rourke as interviewed by Christpoher Walken (21)
(The New York Times) Amusing Writers for the Daily Show, Colbert and Letterman concur: Obama presidency will lead to end of comedy (312)
(Contact Music) Sad Danger, Will Robinson, dan-....*thud* (43)
(Komo) Silly Small town news: Stolen gas cap from "Twilight" truck causes pandemonium (40)

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