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Sun January 11, 2009
(Some Guy) Interesting Cindy Crawford says she was bullied by classmates when she got into modeling, she moled it over, and figured success would be the best revenge (16)
(Some Guy) Obvious Five innovative ways Hollywood is screwing you over. And you thought they were out of ideas (41)
(Counter Terrorism Unit) Obvious Discussion thread for the season premiere of the greatest television program of all time (420)
(Starpulse) Interesting Sandra Bullock to raise porn star Janine Lindemulder's daughter while mommy's in the clink. In related news, Sandra Bullock is the stepmother of a porn star's child (39)
(Digital Spy) Cool "I told the wardrobe girls to make the costumes as short, tight and low-cut as possible. There's nothing I want to cover up. If people want to look, that's fine. I'm confident about my body and I love showing it off." (15)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Kate Winslet and pals create slideshow to teach women how to show off their legs (26)
(People Magazine) Amusing Lindsay Lohan bemoans media 'head games', secretly wishes she had her own effeminate gay man crying in her defense on YouTube. Damn Britney gets all the good wackos (31)
(The Sun) Amusing "I expose myself when I'm drunk" (62)
(New York Daily News) Sappy Fergie marries Josh Duhamel, is reportedly so happy she could just pee in her pants (35)
(io9) Amusing Michael Bay and McG, come on down - you're the next contestants on "Celebrity Catfight" (25)
(Variety) Spiffy Clint Eastwood's "Gran Torino" runs over the competition at the weekend box office (84)

Sat January 10, 2009
(Some Guy) Amusing 10 Celebrity Couples That Should Not Have Kids Under Any Circumstances -- with a #1 choice that will surely be unanimous (105)
(Mediabistro) Wheaton Today's Fark-ready headline: "Wil Wheaton is Beating Britney Spears" (73)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Actress says skating partner "has grabbed more body parts than my previous boyfriends." Straight males suddenly take interest in becoming ice skaters (39)
(AP) Cool Man with "Live Free or Die Hard" tattoo voted Asia's biggest Bruce Willis fan (19)
(Travel Channel) Weird TV chef Anthony Bourdain reveals he's filming Rust Belt episode of "No Reservations" featuring segments on Detroit, Baltimore, and other failed U.S. cities (226)
(The Sun) Dumbass Coolio thinks computers came from space and films predict the future. "The movie Independence Day - that's gonna happen." Subby didn't know you could smoke that much sticky-icky (55)
(NYPost) Asinine Russell Crowe is being a dick again, has Sienna Miller fired from his Robin Hood movie "Nottingham" because she'll make him look fatter than he already is (71)
(The Sun) Dumbass Lucy Pinder, 32G topless model, evicted from Celebrity Big Brother for refusing to get her tits out. "I am not going topless in front of 10 strangers." And she hadn't had time to fake-tan (78)
(Geno's World) Strange Richard Gere attacks China and calls Bush an alien.....then hides under bed because of his fear of crowds (18)
(OK! Magazine) Dumbass Move over, Johnny Cash: Paris Hilton announces that she's written a moving, soulful ballad describing her extensive time in prison (22)
(Variety) Sad Ray Dennis Steckler: the incredibly strange director who stopped living and became a mixed-up zombie (22)
(AP) Sad Twin from "Hee Haw" dies. No, not that one, the other one (26)
(MSNBC) Amusing Christian film "Not Easily Broken" might be "the first film ever made about the male biological clock" (45)

Fri January 09, 2009
(Reuters) Cool Dexter takes a break from stabbing the deserving to marry his own sister. Creepy (67)
(MSN) Spiffy "Flight of the Conchords" no longer grounded (39)
(AP) Sad Everyone without pneumonia take one step forward...Not so fast, Patrick Swayze (72)
(Some Guy) Misc Sam Raimi considers having Spider-Man fight a vampire for "Spidey 4." "I like that combination of superhero plus supernatural" (64)
(Broadway World) Interesting Liza Minnelli to make a cameo appearance on "SNL" this week. It's just a "walk-on" role, although in her case it should be "drunkenly stumble-on" (25)
(USA Today) Asinine Milne Estate authorizes sequel. Expect Winnie the Pooh 2: Electric Boogalo at a book store near you soon (15)
(Variety) Interesting Did you think the Penguins were the only funny parts of the Madgascar movies? So did Nickelodeon (18)
(Newsday) Stupid Actor Kevin James names his daughter Shea, after the stadium full of drunks, massive tools and losers (37)
(Some Watch Pusher) Asinine "Wearing a Rolex helped Owen Wilson realize his life was valuable and worth living. Once again, the precision and quality of a Rolex proves to be a lifesaver in more ways than one." (60)
(Huffington Post) Interesting Your 12 biggest questions about Hollywood, answered. Subby always wondered where the hell that ferry boat full of convicts was going in The Dark Knight (95)
(Variety) Cool Based on early box-office returns, IFC to play "Che" in its entirety, instead of releasing two films. Therefore, at 4 1/2 hours and with subtitles, ensuring its immediate failure in the US (18)
(Reuters) Sad Vince McMahon to WWE employees: "YERRR FIIRRREEEDD" (75)
(NYPost) Spiffy Nickelodeon star Miranda Cosgrove, who's still three years from legality, to host an MTV "Cribs" for teens (57)
(Starpulse) Sad An in-depth interview with the husband and wife writers of ABC's "Pushing Daisies." In related news, both are currently out of work as the show has since been canceled (14)
(Reuters) Obvious ER's "final season" extended by 3 episodes. It's official: this show will never end (40)
(London Times) Amusing Anne Hathaway named Golden Globe winner by mistake (48)
(MSNBC) Interesting Bill Mays here to tell you about my exciting new show coming to the Discovery Channel called "But wait, theres more" (68)
(Chud) Obvious "Smallville" to return for Season Nine, making Tom Welling one of the longest-lasting Supermen ever. The trick is to not put on the Cursed Tights (57)
(Celebslam) Scary Remember how good-looking Ray Liotta used to be? He now looks like a serial killer (51)
(Mirror.co.uk) Scary Courtney Love goes out in public dressed like she fell into the dumpster behind Hot Topic (third pic) (52)
(MSNBC) Spiffy Superman's planet is racially diverse - finally. For the first time in 40 years, the comic fully reveals Kryptonians of color (85)
(The Sun) Strange Another day, another WTF outfit from Michael Jackson. The Sun is there (43)
(People Magazine) Misc R. Kelly declines to comment on finalized divorce, but I bet he was pissed (22)
(WCBS 880) Caption What is Josh Brolin thinking? (58)
(Contact Music) Amusing Daniel Craig and Liev Schreiber turned to vodak to keep warm while filming in Lithuania. "We had lots of good Lithuanian vodka. It was very good, so good that we drank a lot of it." (40)
(The Sun) Cool Sacha Baron Cohen to tone it down for upcoming flick. Just kidding, a black model called Jesus who wears a loincloth and a crown of thorns is already pissing off test audiences (71)
(People Magazine) Spiffy Remember that kid with the mullet on the 80's TV show The Hogan Family? Yeah, didn't think so. Anyways, he's now a dad (with pic) (52)

Thu January 08, 2009
(MTV) Interesting "Dark Knight" producer hints Joker might return for "Batman 3." "We have to separate the actors from the role" (154)
(Some Guy) Sad M_I_C K_E_Y... Y? Because we'll miss you. Mousketeer Cheryl Holdridge dead at 64 (20)
(Discover) Wheaton Two Farkers enter. One Farker leaves. Who runs NASATown? (41)
(LA Times) Dumbass Naveen Andrew's ex-wife thinks witchcraft was involved in her lost custody hearing (21)
(Gawker) Strange MTV Exec receives box of poop. Immediately schedules it between "Bromance" and "Rob & Big" (42)
(VH1) Amusing New VH1 reality series "Tool Academy" to try to reform d'bags into respectable people. Hopefully won't last more than 26 minutes cause those guys got to be somewhere (37)
(WWTDD) Sad Nikki Cox hit in face with frying pan full of bees (128)
(Fox News) Sappy Willie Aames bouncing back after suicide bid (35)
(Washington Post) Interesting In a move everybody can agree is very, very wise, PBS will not air Ian McKellen's wrinkly naughty bits in "King Lear" (45)
(Nerve) Cool Chloe Sevigny: "I always found it distracting to be watching a movie and there was a love scene and the girl had her bra on." (97)
(CTV) Spiffy "The Dark Knight" becomes a major Oscar contender, thanks to Christopher Nolan's Directors Guild of America nomination (82)
(Defamer) Scary Pasty and half-naked Steve Martin and Martin Short splashing around in St.Barts like a couple of sad beached whales, after having ingested 3rd Amigo Chevy Chase with a side of fries (51)
(Celebitchy) Unlikely Slow news day: Lindsay Lohan says she works as hard as Scarlett Johansson. At what, we have no idea (45)
(MSN) Amusing This season's "Apprentice" will feature Andrew Dice Clay and a bunch of Farkin' pansies (39)
(SFGate) Interesting Cindy Crawford bans her seven-year-old daughter from watching "Hanna Montana" because it's a bad influence. Speaking of bad influences on kids: the July 1988 edition of Playboy (67)
(WWTDD) Dumbass Jason Momoa and Lisa Bonet take an early lead in 2009's Worst Baby Name contest with "Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa" (52)
(IGN) Obvious "Dark Knight" screenwriter says all DC Comics movie adaptations are on hold while Warner Bros. tries to figure out how to do it again (54)
(USA Today) Cool Apparently not content with becoming POTUS, Obama begins his takeover of the Marvel Universe (114)
(MSNBC) Stupid MSNBC declares trendy sex over (311)
(Free Press) Ironic "Biggest Loser" contestant arrested for throwing flour in the face of her tenant, which she didn't think was illegal since her husband has to throw flour on her every night (66)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Stupid "Deadliest Catch." The movie. Ahem: "In a world, full of crabs, one fishing boat, stands alone..." (33)
(NewsBusters) Amusing NBC lets Ann Coulter break out her big brass balls in front of Matt Lauer (495)
(The Sun) Spiffy Scarlett Johansson wants to play a brothel madame dressed in a corset, in a film tentatively titled "The Best Movie EVAR" (73)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Silly SNL parody song "Solid (As Barack)" to be recorded by the original artists parodied and made available for downloading on January 20 (29)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Fans of Celebrity swimsuit cameltoes can only hope that ABC's revival of Battle of the Network Superstars lives up to the high standards set by Linda Carter and Charlene Tilton in the 70's (57)
(USA Today) Unlikely Gwyneth Paltrow launches GOOP.com, a lifestyle website, because she is often asked about things like where to get a contemporary version of a midcentury bathroom sink and what are some good ideas to name my baby (27)
(Guardian.com) Cool Taking a page from Tupac's book, JRR Tolkien will be publishing a new novel, "The Legend of Sigurd and Gudrún" (23)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Joss Whedon meets with Tom Cruise to discuss his upcoming "horror film to end all horror films" (67)
(NYPost) Dumbass Some moran gave Roseanne Barr a radio show: "Israel is a Nazi state." "I hate everybody, I hope the whole world blows itself up." "I gotta lose some weight, my hips ache" (27)
(Starpulse) Strange Another day, another Kelsey Grammer sitcom (51)
(SMH) Spiffy Noel Gallagher of Oasis: Daniel Craig should play me in a film. Daniel Craig: "Well, I can play the guitar better than he can so I don't know how that's really going to work." (73)
(CBS Miami) Obvious "The Dark Knight" sweeps the People's Choice Awards. Don't thank the Joker, he voted for "The Happening" (84)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Misc Mickey Rourke, Sam Rockwell may play villains in Iron Man sequel as more actors turn to Jon Favreau to revive their flagging careers (40)
(Paste Magazine) Interesting Paste Magazine catches up with Mystery Science Theater 3000's Mike Nelson: "I've got a couple of smart comedies and a couple of dumb comedies I want to sell" (19)
(Guardian.com) Silly Guy publishes Jack Torrence's novel from "The Shining." Eighty pages of "All work and no play make Jack a dull boy" apparently good reading these days (67)

Wed January 07, 2009
(FilmDrunk) Hero At long last, the 2008 Razzie nominations are out. If you like Keanu Reeves and The Day the Earth Stood Still, you might not want to click (117)
(WRAL) Unlikely "24" star says Dennis Haysbert's portrayal of President Palmer helped Obama get elected (49)
(SciFi Wire) Cool Joss Whedon confirms there will be more Dr. Horrible. It's a brand new day and the sun is high all the birds are singing this will be great as pie (83)
(Contact Music) Interesting Sarah Jessica Parker's relationship with Matthew Broderick has gone colt (59)
(io9) Interesting MTV covers various nerd conventions in its "Otaku Week." Unsure if it is shown between "Bromance" or one of the 7 other spinoffs from "The Hills" (48)
(Starpulse) Dumbass Spike Lee, who usually plays the race card, is now playing the "poverty card" (73)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Cool The kid that couldn't hold on to the damn football in the movie version of Friday Night Lights is going to be the star of the new Tron movie (47)
(Some Fan) Cool Ozzy Osborne to Ozzy's biggest fans: "Ify'aveevahwannetameetme, naw'syahshanse" (31)
(Some Guy) Silly Vowel-challenged McG to follow up his "Terminator" sequel with "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" prequel showing the origin of Captain Nemo (51)
(CNN) Fail Oprah's trainer tells us how to keep off the pounds. 'Cause it worked so well for Oprah (54)
(Some Guy) Stupid For Sanjaya fans: The wait is almost over. For the rest of us: Apocalypse is near (34)
(London Times) Silly And the latest fictional character to be outed as gay is..*shakes Magic 8 Ball*..Tintin (42)
(Some Douche) Amusing Pete Wentz: "It's semi-frustrating when your name actually becomes a synonym for douche bag." Man, it must stink to be him (104)
(Contact Music) Obvious Nobody puts Patrick Swayze's cigarettes in a corner (50)
(Yahoo) Stupid As if you didn't have reason enough to hate Valentine's Day - Disney World to open new American Idol attraction on February 14 (22)
(AP) Sad Lisa Marie Presley defends Scientology (with creepy OMFG don't I look like my drugged-out daddy pic) (75)
(Celebslam) Strange The most disturbing picture of Clay Aiken you'll ever see (58)

Tue January 06, 2009
(Gawker) Amusing Jeremy Piven sent a mass txt to dozens of women, telling them to come to his hotel room. Whoever got there first "won" him for the night. [bonus video goodness of him staring at some chick's cans] (49)
(Variety) Strange Are you ready for some Shakesphere? (25)
(Huffington Post) Video Released footage of Josh Brolin and Jeffrey Wright getting tasered and pepper-sprayed after a brawl last summer (18)
(Contact Music) Unlikely Daniel Craig blames Austin Powers for the lukewarm box-office results of "Quantum of Fail" and "Crapola Royale" (129)
(Starpulse) Obvious Tom Cruise loves fatherhood, gay sex (48)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Cool Japanese WATCHMEN trailer with new footage. Nerd outrage at added scenes that were NOT in the comic to the right (96)
(Starpulse) Unlikely Paris Hilton claims to have only slept with "a couple of people." When asked how many men she's had sex with her answer was, "hundreds" (50)
(Starpulse) Interesting Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway may have had a falling out. Maybe they should wrestle around a little, not too rough, just kinda light and playful...maybe one pins the other and their lips come oh so close. What? Oh sorry, lost my train of thought (70)
(Gawker) Obvious Richard Simmons has officially lost what is left of his mind (42)
(Daily Stab) Sad Alyssa Milano is engaged. And if that's not bad enough news, the guy is goofy looking (81)
(Cinematical) Interesting Simon Pegg and Nick Frost to play Thompson & Thompson in Spielberg's upcoming Tin-tin movies, Despite the fact that they look nothing alike (22)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Interesting Roger Ebert on why we like to see stars fail, and why entertainment journalists deliver it (27)
(AP) Obvious If only there was some way she could have seen this coming: Patricia Arquette files for divorce from Tom Jane (35)
(SFGate) Interesting A bargain at only $3.4 million, the LA home of the Kardashian family is for sale. Not included: The ugly stick that hit Khloe (58)
(MSNBC) Spiffy Craig Ferguson woke up married after holidays (39)
(Daily Mail) Scary Dear Madonna: You are WAY too old for this. Please stop. Love, Everybody (97)
(Starpulse) Stupid "Scrubs" finally returns to TV tonight, moving from NBC to ABC; also rumored to be changing format to a sitcom (74)
(MSNBC) Followup Scientology does everything possible to distance themselves from responsibility in the Travolta death (71)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Good: CG Astro Boy coming to the big screen. Better: Starring Kristen Bell. Aw crap: Also stars Nicholas Cage (33)
(MSNBC) Amusing Presenting the top 5 tv characters that no one ever played. No, you can't see them. Not yours (110)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Kirk set to interview Spock tonight on the Biography Channel. Expected to argue about needs of the many vs. needs of the few (27)
(WTOP) Spiffy John Woo prepares international version of "Red Cliff", dumbs it down to 2 1/2 hours because "them Americans hate them some readin' " (29)
(WBBM) Obvious Oprah says she wants to lose weight. This is not a repeat from 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, 2000, 1999, 1998, 1997, 1996, 1995, 1994, 1993, 1992, 1991, 1990, 1989, 1988, 1987, 1986, 1985, 1984, or 1983 (98)
(Who U gonna call?) Spiffy Sigourney Weaver says that a Ghostbusters sequel is on, potentially centering around the original 'busters passing the torch to a new generation of ghostbusters (e.g. Seth Rogen) (103)
(Globe and Mail) Followup The mysterious case of Peter Falk's illness seems pretty wrapped up. Oh. One more thing. I almost forgot (15)
(The Register Citizen) Obvious Rip Torn charged with DUI in Connecticut. This is not a repeat of 2004 and 2007. With mugshot goodness (93)
(SFGate) Asinine Oakland officials upset that planned HBO show will portray a middle-aged pimp trying to leave street life behind, because it might give people the idea that Oakland has pimps (18)
(New York Daily News) Cool Hef has restored the fung shui of the Playboy Mansion with the addition of a third girlfriend. World leaders call to offer congratulations, envy (42)
(Sci Fi) Cool Sci-Fi releases new Battlestar Galactica Season 4.5 trailer. Holy frak (145)
(Bloomberg) Obvious Scottish government refuses to confirm report that it has bought great Titian to pair with existing Titian, or that it has plans to add third Titian (13)
(Variety) Hero David Fincher on a sequel to Se7en: "I would be less interested in that than I would in having cigarettes put out in my eyes" (77)
(Telegraph) Strange Katie Holmes spends $14 million in six months on clothes, sushi, real estate, Thetan dyslexia cures (37)

Mon January 05, 2009
(Variety) Stupid In this rough economy, even Hollywood is cutting back on advertising. Just kidding, they're actually spending over $10 million on a single promotion for a movie called 'Monsters vs. Aliens' (33)
(Dlisted) Photoshop Photoshop Joaquin Phoen.......Oh holy hell (81)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Pop singer Lily Allen tipped to play Doctor Who's assistant, if she sobers up long enough for an audition (38)
(The Superficial) Interesting Jennifer Love Hewitt splits with fiance, Ben & Jerry stocks skyrockets (60)
(Gawker) Fail Business reporter moves from CNBC to FBN because CNBC uses too many big words. No, seriously (19)
(TechEBlog) Cool RoboCop's iconic gun put up for sale on eBay, with tags of "authentic" and "movie-used." Would you buy that for 1,495 dollars? (47)
(Starpulse) Unlikely Gary Oldman hopes that the fourth time will be the charm (33)
(hitfix.com) Spiffy "The Dark Knight" nominated for Best Picture honors at the 20th Annual Producers Guild Awards, thereby making it a possible Oscar frontrunner (92)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Ron Jeremy accused of "institutional indecency" by the BBC after discussing sex acts he would perform with Lindsay Lohan and Ronson, "leaving a bad taste" in viewer's mouths (56)
(Entertainment Weekly) Obvious If the Scrubs boss spill the beans on the finale but no one watches anyway, does it make a sound? (71)
(Contact Music) Unlikely Tara Reid ready for a "new beginning" in 2009... right after she finishes that bottle of Jack Daniel's (28)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Interesting How "Lost," "Dollhouse," "Heroes" and others will fare against their tough new time-period competitors (hint: nobody's gonna save the cheerleader this time) (66)
(Contact Music) Interesting Academy Award winner Forest Whitaker accepts another bold role in an attempt to become one of the most respected actors in the world. Just kidding, he's joining the cast of Sylvester Stallone's "The Expendables" (39)
(Den Of Geek) Interesting Top 10 most depressing movie ending ever. Realizing that there is still another half hour of Return of the King strangely absent (426)
(io9) Obvious Frank Miller, having failed miserably with "The Spirit," does the only sensible thing he can in Hollywood: Start working on crappy "Sin City" and "300" sequels as fast as humanly possible (76)
(Us Magazine) Cool Rebecca Romijn's shape started shifting back to normal today (35)
(SFFMedia.com) Interesting James Cameron is venturing into completely new film territory by directing the first film in J. Michael Stracynski's "Forbidden Planet" trilogy. The new movie will be about robots and aliens (41)
(SMH) Interesting 2008 was the year of lesbian sex, proving that they have better staying power than people realise (41)
(The Age (Melbourne)) Silly Tom Cruise announces he was illiterate when he graduated high school, until Scientology cured his dsylexia. So much for the "acting sane in public" plan (50)
(Den Of Geek) Amusing Top 25 fictional ads in sci-fi movies (stuff you'd buy for a dollar) (94)
(The Sun) Strange Wackiness runs in the Gaddafi family, his son paid $1 million to Mariah Carey for a four song performance New Year's eve (31)
(MSNBC) Sad Veteran actor Pat Hingle, a.k.a. Commissioner Gordon has passed away at the age of 84. The cause of death has yet to be determined but is suspected to be delayed embarrassment from appearing in "Batman and Robin" (43)
(Daily Mail) Sick Paul McCartney might be an ex-Beatle. And he might be a knight. But you still don't want to see his pasty flesh and hairless old man pipecleaner legs at the beach, no matter how hot the chick he's with is (55)

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