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(Headline T-Shirts are still available for archive links.)
Sun December 21, 2008
(Gizmodo) Cool 60,000 piece Lego set, complete with LED's, recreates planet Hoth. Cool (12)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Sarah Jessica Parker consults "astrotherapist" for personal advice, instead of relying on good old-fashioned horse sense (23)
(Daily Star) Cool TV dance show inexplicably makes the contestants grow bigger boobs. The Daily Star is there (16)
(Stuff) Amusing Anne Hathaway has already chosen her wedding music: She doesn't want to hear Celine Dion's "All By Myself" or Donna Summer's "Last Dance", but "What? What? (In The Butt)" is a given (23)
(Daily Mail) Fail Scarlett Johansson dresses up as a Nazi, a nurse and a geisha as femme fatale in new film, failing to realize we don't want to see her dressed in anything at all (36)
(Some Guy) Amusing A breakdown of celebrity insanity, stupidity and strangeness in 2008. Bonus: MSM use of 'firecrotch' (8)
(The Sun) Obvious New Michael Jackson biography claims Jacko is "seriously ill". He is also said to be in poor health (29)
(Onion AV Club) Amusing The best, lamest and strangest band names of 2008: Flock Of Steven Seagals, Kathleen Turner Overdrive, E=MC Hammer and Sobriety Starts Tomorrow earn points for creativity (71)
(Newsday) Spiffy Frank Miller chats about comics, Iraq and his cats (45)
(Telegraph) Amusing The Daily Telegraph proudly presents the Celebrity Sightings Sighted Celebrity Awards of 2008. Slide show, but worth it for the captions alone (15)
(YouTube) Spiffy Motherfarking Sam Jackson turns motherfarking 60 today. LGT him "Inside the Actor's Studio" (43)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Demi Moore wants another baby at 46 - but after all that plastic surgery, surely her skin hasn't got enough stretch (29)
(Entertainment Weekly) Unlikely Latest crazy casting rumor: "Harold & Kumar"'s John Cho to play villian Mandarin in "Iron Man 2," with Tommy Chong portraying his father. Hey what are you smoking, by the way? (25)
(News Of The World) Obvious Heidi Klum likes the taste of chocolate on her lips. The obvious tag is giggling away like a naughty school boy (24)
(Some badass) Interesting 6 Great Action Heroes that should be convicted of murder. John McClane seen lighting a smoke and giggling (54)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Spiffy The year's best foreign films. Il y a un film pour toi (18)
(Daily Mail) Interesting A look into Marlon Brando as told by his longtime PA...for instance, in 2000 he was using the internet to get laid (13)
(Variety) Dumbass MTV to add 16 new reality shows to their programming, in their ongoing effort to lower our standards and destroy 2000 years of culture (74)
(News Of The World) Scary The Western World has finally unleashed the ultimate weapon against the terrorists: Amy Winehouse topless. God help us all. (Not safe for work gallery in link) (76)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Despite looking exactly like a pirate in his day to day life, Russell Brand has been nixed from the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Tag is for casting director (46)

Sat December 20, 2008
(London Times) Obvious No less than three movies planned about the 1066 Battle of Hastings and death of King Harold, so keep an eye out  T-Shirt (112)
(Oregon Live) Sappy Five-year-old boy starts local TV cooking show "Big Kitchen with Food," unveils chocolate chip zucchini bread recipe. Bam bam (32)
(NYPost) Interesting Madonna benches A-Rod so she can squeeze in some South American winter league ball (19)
(Guardian.com) Amusing Scarlett Johansson was reading her interview with Cosmo and noticed something weird and completely unrelated to her breasts (44)
(The Sun) Dumbass Benicio Del Toro gives his 2 pesos: "I think anyone who buys a T-shirt of Che has gotta be cool. If I see someone with a Che T-shirt, I think, 'He's got good taste'" (92)
(Luxist) Spiffy Rare six-minute recording of John Lennon drunk and high to be sold. And this differs from all the other recordings how? (37)

Fri December 19, 2008
(Guardian.com) Followup No, wait, Eddie Murphy might really be the Riddler after all. The Sun insists it's there (118)
(Daily Mail) Scary David Copperfield's assistant mauled by his biggest fan (33)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Audience members flee "pornographic" Shakespeare production. Alas, poor Yorick - I blew him, Horatio (75)
(Yahoo) Interesting LA Police are looking for a man who broke into Paris Hilton's home. The CDC has deployed a containment team (20)
(Cinematical) Cool Pottery Barn releases the ultimate Star Wars nostalgia item we all owned as a kid: Star Wars bed sheets with retro design (85)
(The Virginian Pilot) Obvious Jim Carrey's "Yes Man." Imagine "Liar, Liar" but without the laughs (92)
(Contact Music) Followup Eddie Murphy denies Riddler role, claiming he is way too busy with "Daddy Day Care" and "Dr Doolittle" sequels to bother with that nonsense (106)
(Fox News) Interesting In addition to finding Jesus, what happened to the rest of the Seaver family? (39)
(NYMag) Interesting New York Magazine's Top 10 films of 2008. Yes, it's a slideshow and no, you haven't heard of most of them (67)
(Contact Music) Asinine Billie Jean suing Michael Jackson for $1 billion, claiming that Prince Michael Jackson II aka Blanket is her son, regardless of the fact that he's 6 years old and the song came out in 1983 (45)
(Rolling Stone) Cool Iggy Pop, Alice Cooper, Moby and Henry Rollins to star in Vampire film "Suck." Moby:" I'm making a specialty of playing douche bags, I could spend the rest of my career perfecting the douche bag" (42)
(ksl.com) Obvious Actual headline: Hollywood films tend to get it wrong when it comes to history. Ric Romero reporting live (28)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Sad Next on Frank Miller's "Classic Characters to Crap All Over" list: Buck Rogers (48)
(Metro) Sappy Emma Watson says she doesn't need her $15 million, will give it to the first man to thoroughly pleasure her. Okay, that second part was made up, but can't a guy dream? (79)
(Entertainment Weekly) Spiffy In case you missed it, here's "Twilight" performed in three minutes. By puppets (69)
(X-Entertainment) Cool All I want for Christmas is a 72 inch inflatable "Christmas Story Leg Lamp" lawn ornament. Ohhhh fuddddge (68)

Thu December 18, 2008
(Contact Music) Obvious Danny Boyle struggles with "Trainspotting" sequel, realizing that a movie about middle-aged burnouts who no longer take drugs cannot be anything else than a snoozefest (37)
(Starpulse) Stupid Frank Stallone to take a break from riding his brother's coattails to star in a reality TV show, where he will discuss riding his brother's coattails (22)
(MTV) Silly 50-year-old Tim Robbins to play Howard Stark, the father of Tony Stark in "Iron Man 2" which is portrayed by 43-year-old Robert Downey Jr (85)
(iF Magazine) Amusing Director Guillermo Del Toro on casting for "The Hobbit:" "If I direct a hemorrhoid commercial, Doug Jones will be in it" (38)
(CBC) Sad She's dead, Jim (388)
(LA Times) Sad Sam Bottoms, aka Lance from Apocalypse Now, has dropped the last tab of acid he was saving (31)
(Spike) Dumbass Top 10 movie remakes that shouldn't have been made. Dumbasses (83)
(Reuters) Interesting Young people watch half as much TV as their Baby Boomer parents, who still view computers as gray boxes their secretaries use to type memos (27)
(SlashFilm) Cool Mark Hamill signed on to voice the Joker again because, well... What else is he going to do? More conventions? (51)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Interesting HBO orders full season of Thomas Jane series, "Hung." About a guy with a large penis (59)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Jennifer Aniston gives David Letterman THAT necktie (57)
(Paste Magazine) Weird You cannot find Lucas' dark secret because it is zealously guarded by 50 year-old virgins in stormtrooper constumes (39)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Followup Mainstream media catches on to the "Price is Right" showcase-bidding scandal (47)
(Some Guy) Sad Having pissed all over your old Constantine comics, Keanu Reeves is now about to crap all over your Cowboy Bebop DVDs (130)
(Reuters) Unlikely "My understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer" (26)
(Examiner) Cool "How Stuff Works" takes a look at beer, tonight at 8 p.m. on Discovery. Are you ready to get Duffed? (86)
(Daily Mail) Sad BBC denies that it may be getting ready to cancel world's longest running sitcom, despite elderly stars dropping like flies (28)
(Nerve) Wheaton Top 10 celebrity Twitterers: Wil Wheaton makes it to #2 (72)
(BBC) Sad "Carry On" actor stops (10)
(Ars Technica) Asinine If you thought the RIAA was bad, take a look at what their spanish counterparts are doing (24)
(The Tennessean) Obvious Jack Black to guest star on The Office. Release the shark (60)
(Entertainment Weekly) Cool The cast of How I Met Your Mother in the best of 2008 (60)
(Popular Science) Silly Some simple physics equations to determine if little James T. Kirk could really cling to a cliff ledge while jumping out of a speeding Corvette (86)
(MTV) Spiffy David Fincher talks plans for "Heavy Metal." "The world will at some point be ready for something other than singing, furry f-king animals" (44)
(TV Guide) Weird George W. Bush is finally man enough to issue an apology. Fark: to Elizabeth Hasselbeck (34)

Wed December 17, 2008
(9 News) Obvious Aretha Franklin to sing at Presidential Inauguration. Secret Service to now protect Obama and the buffet (21)
(The Sun) Unlikely Riddle me this: Could Christopher Nolan have chosen a worse Riddler? (202)
(People Magazine) Interesting Rachel Ray to avoid surgery on vocal cords. John Cusimano inconsolable (47)
(Billboard) Sad Hootie confirms that Hootie And The Blowfish have not broken up. This is very good news for people who like incredibly crappy music (76)
(Starpulse) Spiffy Chris Cornell gets his guitar collection back from his ex-wife. Will begin making more crappy solo albums immediately (76)
(Mojo In The Morning) Interesting NIN break-up (117)
(BBC) Asinine South Korea does its best North Korea impression by sending actress to jail for eight months for adultery (119)
(Denver Channel) Ironic Tom Cruise stalker sent to psychiatric hospital for treatment (59)
(LA Times) Spiffy Russia gets the Disney Channel. Tune in to the first episode where Minnie gets sent to the Gulag for criticizing the ruling administration (19)
(Contact Music) Asinine After talks of portraying Bill Hicks, Russell Crowe lined up to play former President Bill Clinton in new biopic, despite "American Gangster" being already taken as a title (57)
(Fox News) Amusing Celebrities have some of the most ridiculous tats (69)
(Metro) Strange Pete Wentz says he and Ashlee Simpson have sex in front of mirrors. Presumably doggy style, so they can both put on their eye make-up (84)
(Contact Music) Sad Anthony Kiedis's scar tissues battling kidney disease, Red Hot Chili Pepper added to list of blood sugar sex magic donors (74)
(Some Guy) Fail Lucy Lawless, the Warrior Princess herself, is going to attend the big Xena convention in LA...kinda...sorta...wait I'm paying $300 for this? (66)
(Chud) Scary Get ready for The Uwe Boll Film Fest (28)
(UGO) Unlikely "Forrest Gump" screenwriter announces new sci-fi odyssey project "somewhere between the intelligence of 2001 and the mythology of Star Wars." But you never know what you're gonna get (33)
(Independent) Strange Modern operas updating themselves with contemporary elements...like penis extensions (17)

Tue December 16, 2008
(MTV) Cool Click to the left for the latest Christopher Nolan "Catwoman" casting rumor. Click to the right for fanboys alternately fapping and lamenting sharp knees (144)
(YouTube) Sad Have a tissue ready. TCM puts out its annual tribute to those who are no longer with us (72)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Obvious How "Knight Rider" and "Heroes" have damaged NBC's brand (140)
(Billboard) Cool Cheech and Chong to go animated, because the sight of pot smokers in their 60s is not quite as charming and endearing: "It's great to be doing a movie where Cheech and I never have to get out of bed" (14)
(CTV) Spiffy Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber miss "Crazy Baby Names 101" class in celebrity school, call their new son "Samuel" (89)
(Celebitchy) Obvious Sherri Shepherd complains about lack of black talent on SNL, rest of world complains about lack of talent on "the View" (57)
(UPI) Interesting "Mamma Mia" is the top grossing film ever in the UK. Suck it, Titanic. And you, too, wand boy (48)
(E! Online) Interesting Tom Hanks, George Clooney, Alec Baldwin and other A list stars think it's a bad idea for SAG to strike. Mel Gibson does not agree, hates the Jews (37)
(Contact Music) Interesting Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez to adapt TV series Simon and Simon to the big screen. No word if chubby chasers Gerald McRaney and Jameson Parker attached to the project (42)
(AZCentral) Amusing Britney asks K-Fed to move back in with her. Not via text message this time, which is an improvement (28)
(London Times) Cool Sex Pistols ex-manager Malcolm McLaren writes a piece on William Burroughs: "I don't think I could have become the "godfather of punk" without him" (29)
(Reuters) Weird What's more surprising, the fact that Kirk Douglas has a blog or that he's 92 years old? (76)
(Starpulse) Stupid Rumer Willis wants to be the next Megan Fox, shows off tattoo with stupid saying. Whatever takes the focus from her face though, right? (134)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Cool Really interesting L O S T clip raises more questions than it answers. Who woulda thunk? (78)
(Daily Mail) Sad Um... er... ah... oh. Peter Falk suffering from Alzheimer's and dementia. Would have been diagnosed sooner, but they thought he was still acting (51)
(Fox News) Amusing Top ten celebrity meltdowns. And, yes, Amy Winehouse made the cut (15)
(Houston Chronicle) Obvious US Customs seize reality show Survivor artifacts including contaminated monkey skull, termite-infested statues, green civet cat hides. The Tribe and Homeland Security have spoken (9)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Interesting Writer Peter Morgan and actor Michael Sheen are getting together to make a third Tony Blair related movie. Does Tony Blair really warrant 3 movies? (4)
(Den Of Geek) Amusing The 24 least special effects in movie history (186)
(Daily Mail) Followup Bernard Madoff ripped off Arpad Busson, Busson is engaged to Uma Thurman, Uma was in Prime with Meryl Streep, Streep was in The River Wild with Kevin Bacon (24)
(Boing Boing) Interesting "Should employers discriminate against World of Warcraft players?" (142)
(NYPost) Followup Anne Hathaway's conman ex-boyfriend agrees to repay $3.6 million of money he scammed. That's a lot of $5 blowjobs (39)
(3 News New Zealand) Amusing Elton John would rather have his "cock bitten off by an Alsatian" than watch X Factor. "My balls too" (29)
(MTV) Amusing Halo-themed wedding planned by video game fans. Master Chief to officiate, Mastur Bation to resume for groom in 6 months (76)
(Guardian.com) Amusing Rediscovered poems and rude letters by famed Scottish poet Robert Burns to go on auction. In one letter, he moans he can't ride a horse because an STD has set his crotch on fire (12)
(Yahoo) Fail It's a bad opening weekend when only 2 people per theatre show up (63)
(Livenews) Stupid Nicole Kidman angers aboriginal groups by playing a didgeridoo on German TV. On the upside, it is "guaranteed" to make her infertile (45)

Mon December 15, 2008
(SFFMedia.com) Interesting Darren Aronofsky decides to completely rework and reimagine RoboCop, Paul Verhoeven's ultra violent, R-rated cyborg movie, by making an R-rated, ultra-violent cyborg movie called RoboCop (61)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Official "Wolverine" trailer now online. No goofy jumpsuit this time (95)
(E! Online) Amusing You can't spell "threatening fan" without "thetan" (9)
(Contact Music) Unlikely Did Hitler's ghost cause trouble on Tom Cruise's new Nazi movie? (37)
(Some Guy) Obvious "The Crow" returns from the grave. Brandon Lee still dead (30)
(Celebslam) Sad Jessica Alba officially embraces mom jeans (47)
(WCBS 880) Caption Caption Jessica Simpson (171)
(New York Daily News) Stupid Heath Ledger's ex and his father are locked in a bitter quarrel. Is it about Heath's estate or custody rights involving his daughter? No. Is it about who will accept his Golden Globe if he should win at the awards ceremony? You got it (70)
(Contact Music) Stupid Paul McCartney gives the Dalai Lama a lecture about eating meat for health reasons. So he's got that goin' for him (52)
(New York Magazine) Interesting The complete guide to Keanu Reeves' facial expressions. "Interesting" tag for lack of a "Whoa" tag (warning: 29-page slideshow) (28)
(Celebitchy) Sad Madonna falls again on stage. No, this is not a repeat from last month (with vid) (33)
(Contact Music) Obvious John Mayer insists that Jennifer Aniston could have a great singing career. In related news, John Mayer applauds Jennifer Aniston for her Mensa membership, her ability to beat "Battletoads," her vast knowledge of nuclear physics, etc (59)
(Starpulse) Spiffy Exclusive interview with "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" co-creator Dave Willis, whose favorite piece of fan-made artwork is a Meatwad-tattooed scrotum (28)
(NME) Cool After making us chuckle for years with his music, The Strokes frontman Julian Casablancas to appear on a comedy album, along with Andy Samberg and other SNL writers (26)
(Salon) Cool Dexter finale discussion thread (75)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Scary Early review of "The Spirit" says it's worse than "Battlefield Earth." Truly, the end times are upon us (151)
(NY Observer) Stupid Steve Soderbergh unveils his Che movie: "Down towards the front of the theater, a 26-year-old culinary student, who like many in attendance, was in a Che T-shirt, was passing the time reading a Bible" (49)
(MSNBC) Followup Cruise tells Lauer he learned a glib lesson, plans to seek acting lessons next (24)
(Some Guy) Amusing Keith Richards and other rockers who have aged terribly (79)
(Celebslam) Obvious Note to Self: Don't ever call Ozzy Osbourne a "brain dead rock star" in the presense of Sharon Osbourne (33)
(Guardian.com) Amusing The most ridiculous film plots for 2008, and yes, every nerd's favorite movie tops the list (94)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Rap group plays number about "cranky old man" at a concert. Cranky old man doesn't like it, opens fire, wounds five. That's pretty damn cranky (28)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Guy Ritchie snatches £50 million divorce settlement from Madonna (27)
(Newsday) Amusing NY Governor sees red over SNL parody (58)
(sffmedia.com) Interesting Branagh breaks silence about Thor movie (77)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Sick "Survivor" finale gets brutal: Probst says this was the meanest thing a contestant has said in 17 seasons (150)
(Onion AV Club) Interesting 21 unnecessary film sequels that are great anyway (85)
(Telegraph) Amusing In between threatening the destruction of the West and photoshopping missiles, Iran finds time to condemn a Mickey Rourke flick (47)

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