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Sun October 12, 2008
(Slate) Interesting Emily Dickinson may have once had a dick inside her. Newsflash tag too busy catching up of overdue reading to comment (36)
(pwmania) Unlikely Vince McMahon wants fake wrestling to appear less fake (45)
(Reuters) Scary If "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" being #1 last week wasn't a sign of the apocalypse, the fact that a Leonardo DiCaprio-Russell Crowe movie failed to top it this week is (43)
(Huffington Post) Followup That story about Palin appearing on SNL? The one that said "She's booked. It's confirmed. Done deal."? Yeah, not so much (159)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Farkers rejoice: Kelly Brook looking for "beta male" who will stay home while she brings home the bacon. You just have to be handsome. Oops (20)
(LA Times) Fail Cirque du Soleil and Criss Angel team up to create swirling vortex of suck (26)
(Dayton Daily News) Amusing Actual headline: Britney Spears has a brand new smell. Hopefully something other than desperation, Cheetos and menthol (25)
(Seattle Times) Misc McCain will be on "Late Show with David Letterman" Thursday to kiss and make up (135)
(Sun Sentinel) Followup 80's Teen Queens look hotter now than they did back then. Still no cure for Sarah Jessica Parker (110)
(CNN) Spiffy Lisa Marie Presley makes like her grandmother and gives birth to twins (with OMG MY EYES pic) (25)
(Some Guy) Spiffy First look at Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes. No shiat (84)
(Telegraph) Cool If Blackadder had lived, writers reveal his fifth incarnation would have been as a 1960s millionaire, and Baldrick would have accidentally killed JFK (51)

Sat October 11, 2008
(Now Magazine) Dumbass Spotlight-addicted Heather Mills still insisting she's 'fated' to stay in the public eye so she can do selfless deeds (24)
(io9) Cool 7 deleted scenes From Battlestar Galactica's 4th Season answer some burning questions (46)
(BlogWerds) Scary Top 10 ghost films that will scare all hell out of your innards in time for Halloween (137)
(Contact Music) Scary "Austin Powers" actor is facing life in prison after being charged with taking part in a vicious gang rape almost two decades ago (71)
(Starpulse) Misc The Spice Girls bus is up for sale on eBay. The Union Jack paintwork is still intact, windows and doors have remained closed since the last tour in an effort to preserve the stank (13)
(Bitten and Bound) Cool Holy Crap Batman.... That's a cake? (pics) (28)
(AP) Interesting Larry Hagman excited about "Dallas" reunion, continued respiration (14)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Despite calling George Bush a "retarded cowboy" and Britney Spears a "female Christ", Russell Brand looks likely to present the Video Music Awards again next year (29)
(MTV) Video Britney Spears new video 'Womanizer' features her naked, sweaty and writhing on her back. Subby probably won't make it to his bunk (106)
(BBC) Interesting Ever want to ask departing "Doctor Who" producer just what the fark he was thinking when he wrote some of his stories? Now you can. Floaty glowy JesusDoctor and the Absorbaloff look on in amusement (37)
(Now Magazine) Obvious Charlotte Church "doesn't give a s**t about her weight," wants to know if you're finished with that (43)
(MTV) Cool Bill Murray would like there to be a female Ghostbuster, preferrably a nimble little minx (video) (18)
(Entertainment Weekly) Amusing Larry Charles picks twenty-eight most subversive comedians of all time (in non-subversive slideshow format) (65)
(Gizmodo) Cool Full episodes of "Star Trek" have been beamed down to YouTube in honor of the show's 42nd anniversary (28)
(Starpulse) Followup John Cusack's stalker accepts plea deal, surrenders her Peter Gabriel albums (13)

Fri October 10, 2008
(Starpulse) Dumbass This is Sean Combs: "My name is Diddy." This is Sean Combs on drugs: "That's right, Frank Sinatra is with me. Call me crazy. I'm not afraid to say I have imaginary friends. And Frank is one of them." Any questions? (31)
(Mirror.co.uk) Cool Top 10 celebrities who started out life as geeks (85)
(Ars Technica) Asinine Remember the entertainment industry's repeated claims that they would lose $250 billion and 750,000 jobs to piracy? Aaaarrrrgh, no so much, ye scurvy hags (8)
(The Superficial) Scary OK seriously.....what the HELL is wrong with Madonna's leg? GAH [photo] (59)
(IMDB) Stupid Hollywood totally out of ideas dude. New Bill and Ted project slated for 2010. Bogus (37)
(Telegraph) Interesting Golden gun from 1973 James Bond movie stolen. Scaramanga's third nipple believed to be safe in undisclosed location (11)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Interesting Seth Rogen to star in comedy about cancer. It'll be one of those films that grows on you (15)
(CNN) Sad 'All My Children' actress written out of the script of life (13)
(The Sun) Amusing Paris Hilton has a big fan in Britain. But just one, apparently. The Sun is there (15)
(Variety) Cool Cast of "Family Guy" to present two nights of songs and masturbation jokes at Carnegie Hall next month (71)
(Daily Express) Obvious Sting gives up acting for good, saying it's too much like work and if he wanted work, he'd get a job (23)
(Now Magazine) Spiffy Ryan Reynolds to run New York Marathon for charity, says he'll distribute naked pics of Scarlett Johansson, his hot wife, to everyone who pledges $1000 or more. Ok, that last part is made up, but can't a guy dream? (32)
(IMDB) Sad Chinese bit-part actor Kim Chan dead. You might remember him from such roles as 'Mr. Kim' in 'The Fifth Element', or 'Dim Sum Cook' in 'Cadillac Man' (40)
(Daily Stab) Interesting Pink says she's no lesbian, although this one time (38)
(AP) Misc It was cold and lonely in the deep dark night, Meat Loaf was sick and almost saw paradise by the doctor's light (18)
(Cracked) Amusing 6 horrible lessons Hollywood loves to teach kids (113)
(TMZ) Dumbass Hugh Hefner's new twin skanks have a history of violence (pics) (65)
(Some Guy) Interesting Beyonce called Tina Turner "the queen" and Aretha was all, "Oh HELLS naw" and Tina was like "Aretha has a huge ego LOL" and then Aretha was all "oh no you din't" (50)
(NYPost) Stupid Swedish pop star was given strict rules when she opened for Madonna in Europe: "...not to approach Madonna, not to speak to Madonna and, above all, no pictures" (58)
(Toronto Star) Stupid Tired of waiting on Jon Anderson to recover from respiratory failure, the other members of Yes say the fans are too so they will tour with yet another tribute band singer. Subby boning up on 'Guitar Hero' so he can replace Steve Howe (32)
(The New York Times) Weird Lars Ulrich has other ways to get millions of dollars, at least one of which does not involve suing his fanbase (32)
(Reuters) Unlikely Oliver Stone on new movie: "It was not our intention to bring malice or judgment on George W. Bush and his administration" (78)
(Reuters) Interesting Academic finds evidence that Bach's wife wrote some of his music. Mostly the pieces that seem to go on and on forever without ever really getting to the point (113)
(BBC) Misc "Guerilla artist" Bansky opens his first official exhibition of pretentious art, which includes two animatronic hot dogs engaging in a sex act. Somewhere, Andy Warhol is laughing his head off (68)
(Variety) Cool The world-conquering, rodent-eating alien lizards disguised as hot chicks are back. "V" returns to network TV (67)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Britney Spears, in a rare moment of clarity as she talks about her personal responsibility in the trainwrecks she's been through: "I'm a smart person. What the hell was I thinking?" (42)
(LA Times) Amusing Reporter shocked at depiction of Lucas and Spielberg raping Indiana Jones on "South Park" He obviously didn't sit thru "Crystal Skull" (106)
(Starpulse) Dumbass The star of "Ghost Rider" wants you to stop comparing her to Jennifer Lopez, as she insists that her career is more serious (43)
(Starpulse) Scary For those of you who remain unconvinced that the gates of Hell have bubbled up and flooded the world, Ryan Seacrest plans to film a sitcom with Paris Hilton (18)

Thu October 09, 2008
(Some Guy) Wheaton Wil Wheaton and that one guy from "Lost" announced as guest stars for "Criminal Minds" (42)
(Wikipedia) Hero John Lennon would be 68 today...but he's not, because he's dead (114)
(Some Guy) Cool Answering the prayers of men everywhere, Brooke Hogan will NOT pose for Playboy (60)
(Metro) Weird German pop star marries a ... pineapple? (w/ pic of the happy couple) (24)
(Telegraph) Interesting Liz Hurley's safety-pin gown voted "greatest dress of all time", narrowly edging out that skirt Mel Gibson wore in Braveheart (35)
(Gawker) Amusing Hip-Hop Magazine fails to pay its freelancers, then sends them all e-mail invites to a party. The responses are priceless (39)
(Us Magazine) Followup Turns out that Hugh Hefner's split with his main girlfriend was because his sperm couldn't find the handicapped ramp into her fallopian tubes (33)
(Defamer) Spiffy TV production company taps gay porn actor for VP job because he's familiar with successfully negotiating back-end deals (17)
(Mediabistro) PSA Sean Hannity renews his contract with Fox News. Yeah, like he was going to MSNBC (72)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Courteney Cox says she hated having Botox. Upset that no one could see a difference in her facial acting (27)
(Starpulse) Interesting 13 of Eric Clapton's shotguns are being sold at auction. So far the top bidder is "barracudagurl08" (38)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Deranged man lunges at actor Zac Efron at "High School Musical 3" premiere in London. What's even odder is the jacket Efron is wearing. The 80s are back, baby (57)
(Fox News) Unlikely Woman claims to be Elvis's half-sister, says the singer is still alive and living as "Jessie" Presley. She didn't say what he was doing, but donuts and amphetamines are no doubt involved (81)
(Contact Music) Interesting Shirley Bassey will never let anyone put another wedding band on her riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing FINGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER (28)
(LA Times) Sad How bad has it gotten? The Oscars will now take movie ads, ending a 50 year ban (42)
(Contact Music) Scary Liam Gallagher becomes the latest pawn in Yoko Ono's ongoing war against mankind: "Something weird happened because I haven't stopped writing songs since [I visited Yoko Ono]" (33)
(TMZ) Scary Do not taunt Happy Fun Gerard Butler (46)
(Onion AV Club) Cool Patton Oswald talks about old movies: "Walter Matthau was your badass action hero. Who's gonna save the world? Oh, Matthau. The guy who's hungover and kind of slouching in a really cheap suit and eating a hot dog. That guy" (68)
(Contact Music) Interesting The lounge chair from Paris Hilton's "Vote for Paris" ad will be auctioned off for charity. If you actually want to handle the chair, please note that hazmat suits are sold separately (8)
(FanBolt) Amusing If the McCain-Palin campaign fails, at least Palin has a backup offer from The Pussycat Dolls (63)

Wed October 08, 2008
(NME) Obvious Paul McCartney upset at McDonalds in Liverpool for displaying Beatles photographs, threatens to write a song about it (32)
(Contact Music) Cool Jason Priestley to direct episode of new "90210". The boss is ok with it, but said Jason's gonna have to get someone to cover his 3 to midnight shift at the Gas 'N' Go (20)
(London Times) Amusing Music label that has Eminem and Amy Winehouse signs the Salvation Army brass band for 3 album/$2 million contract. Performance riders include nice cup of tea in dressing room, plate of ginger snaps (13)
(Fox News) Stupid Surprising no one, Lifetime is making a "Natalee Holloway" movie. Eventual sequel, "Natalee Holloway 2: Aruba Nights" can't be far behind (47)
(Chud) Stupid Kurosawa's "Rashomon" will be remade as "Rashomon 2010" (49)
(Slashfilm) Interesting Guillermo Del Toro isn't quite sure what part two of "The Hobbit" films will be about or when it will end: "I think Smaug dies in the first movie. So draw your own conclusions" (61)
(Slashfilm) Cool One of three authorized Ghostbusters 1959 Cadillac Miller Meteor Ecto-1 is up for sale on Ebay. Looks expensive but awww c'mon, everybody has three mortgages these days (70)
(People Magazine) Obvious Judge orders Ryan O'Neal's son to drug rehab because he was using again. Which is shocking, since the younger O'Neal has only been to rehab 12 times since he was 13 (12)
(TMZ) Followup No, Jamie Lynn Spears is not pregnant (54)
(CNN) Followup Bill Murray says divorce is "the worst thing ever." He obviously didn't see The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (124)
(CNN) Misc Proving you can't keep a good character alive, DC kills off Superman's dad...again (27)
(MSNBC) Cool Lauren Bacall verbally biatchslaps Tom Cruise, somewhere Bogey is smiling (37)
(SMH) Obvious Sly old fox Brigitte Bardot tells Sarah Palin to stop lipstick comparison: "I know them well and I can assure you that no pitbull, no dog, nor any other animal for that matter is as dangerous as you are" (169)
(Starpulse) Ironic Ashlee Simpson celebrates her birthday by having a 'white trash' party. Which makes one wonder if people who live in China go out for Chinese food (35)
(Rocky Mountain News) Obvious Reality show contestants don't necessarily want to win the show they're on, they want to rape TV for the rest of their lives (17)
(Hollyscoop) Obvious Christian Slater regrets dropping out of school, Hollow Man II (17)
(Starpulse) Obvious Eddie Izzard & Minnie Driver's show "The Riches" has officially been canceled. All three fans upset (90)
(Fox News) Silly Apparently Hef's too old to throw his ex-girlfriends out the door (27)
(Now Magazine) Fail Jennifer Lopez regrets saying she'd had "a kind of nervous breakdown" to reporter, sues him for reporting on it, ensuring that everyone who hadn't read it before will read it now (83)
(Daily Stab) Fail Opps, she did it again - Jamie Lynn Spears continues to follow in the footsteps of her big sis - She's pregnant AGAIN (566)
(NewsBusters) Sad American Carol is doing poorly because liberal movie theater owners are conspiring together to give people the wrong tickets (373)
(Fox News) Scary Nick Nolte barely escapes fire in his home. In other news, Nick Nolte isn't homeless... er, wasn't homeless until he burned his house down (25)
(Telegraph) Obvious The media tosses aside the less important issues of the day to focus on what matters: George Clooney has grown a moustache. A MOUSTACHE (138)

Tue October 07, 2008
(CNN) Spiffy Esquire names Halle Berry sexiest woman alive. Stocks expected to recover as Jos Six pack erects his position on this issue (54)
(The Sun) Scary Just what we've all been waiting for: A Roseanne sex tape (62)
(Spike) Scary Top 15 women that went FUGLY. The goggles zhey do nozthing (150)
(io9) Cool Ridley Scott confirms working on Huxley's classic novel "Brave New World," promises to turn it into yet another sluggish, overbloated sci-fi snoozefest with meandering plotlines and scarcely developed characters (68)
(LA Times) Cool Joss Whedon's mansion could be yours for only $3.7 million. It comes with four bedrooms, five baths, and quirky sense of snark (30)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Fail "Heroes" dying an humiliating death. Show falling dramatically in the ratings every week. If only there was a way to go back in time and make it not suck (254)
(Fox News) Cool Rose McGowan could be playing Linda "Deep Throat" Lovelace in upcoming biopic. Subby couldn't even make it to his bunk (48)
(Washington Post) Spiffy Study shows that if TV commercials are shorter, people watch them. It also shows that if you drill a hole in viewers' skulls and physically insert your ad, it works even better (68)
(Some Guy) Sad Gentlemen, Kirsten Dunst is very lonely (80)
(Telegraph) Interesting Fox to make U.S. version of Absolutely Fabulous in revenge for British rip-off of 'The Office' (59)
(webn) Amusing Hefner & Madison split. Random blonde #792, you're up (44)
(celebrityrush.com) Obvious Amy Winehouse on suicide watch. Wait, she HASN'T been trying to kill herself for the last five years? (46)
(AP) Asinine R. Kelly wins an aquittal, wins an arbitration, and now seeks a civil victory after a promoter told him to piss off (13)
(St. Petersburg Times) Amusing Put Bull Durham 2 on the bench: Here are four Kevin Costner flicks that beg for sequels (41)
(AMC) Cool Season four of "Robot Chicken" begins with another Star Wars parody "Q: So fewer groin-shot sketches? A: Groin shots are what sign our paychecks" (38)
(Some Guy) Cool Seven irritatingly expensive home theatres of the rich and famous (99)
(Entertainment Weekly) Sappy Entertainment Weekly names their 15 nominees for worst movie dialogue ever. Somehow they missed "I like tulip. Tulip is much better than mongoloid" (126)
(Mirror.co.uk) Sappy "I really loved my husband's penis. It was really pretty" (89)
(Livenews) Obvious Cher suffering from "Vegas throat". And it's not what you think (18)
(St. Petersburg Times) Sad Berke Breathed announces Opus will not live long enough to make fun of our next President. Milo Bloom and Cutter John still look forward to Bill the Cat's inaugural speech (72)
(Reuters) Cool David Duchovny finds his stroke, spanks his sex addiction problem, is jacked to leave rehab, let's give him a hand. We're pullin' for you, David. Keep a firm grip on yourself (38)
(Some Spudboy) Spiffy DEVO to perform concert for Barack Obama in Akron, Ohio. McCain campaign trying to book Buckner and Garcia (61)

Mon October 06, 2008
(Sci Fi) Cool "Watchmen" Video Diary: Making Dr. Manhattan (with some footage awesomeness) (34)
(AZCentral) Sad It's tregedy when I cut my finger, it's hilarious when Lohan and Hilton hate on each on Facebook. Hilarious, yet ultimately disappointing (56)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Interesting Japanese broadcaster sues ABC over "Wipeout," says its a rip-off of "MXC" and "Ninja Warrior." Whether the Obvious tag is appropriate is now up to the jury (47)
(ABC Action News) Interesting Meat Loaf has vertigo. In other news, Meat Loaf will do anything for love, but he won't do that (50)
(Some Guy) Cool "Sunday Night Football" is the priciest show on TV, charging advertisers $434,000 per 30-second ad, or the equivalent in chicken fingers and scotch for John Madden (38)
(Christopher Walken Blogs) Obvious Scientists: Jennifer Love Hewitt's ass increasing at alarming rate (includes chart) (130)
(Some Guy) Silly Corey Haim hates "Lost Boys 2," can't wait for "Lost Boys 3" (23)
(Variety) Cool HBO renews "Entourage" for sixth season, because it's their only show that still has viewers. HBO still puzzled as to why people are interested in a show about smug, self-entitled dumbasses aimlessly hemorrhaging money in L.A. (67)
(YouTube) Amusing Jenny McCarthy (the autism-vaccine loon) gets pwned by questioner (103)
(Celebitchy) Cool Judge rules in favor of Perez Hilton, Lindsay Lohan's girlfriend to pay him $87,000 so he can keep bad-mouthing her on his blog (46)
(Starpulse) Sad Rachael Ray's raspy voice, which has grown even more annoying this year, is because of a benign node on her vocal cords, not throat cancer as so many Americans wish (75)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Cool AMC greenlights a TV series based on an actual science-fiction book, and a good one at that: "Red Mars." Please, God, no Wesley Snipes or Keanu Reeves or Michael Bay (65)
(BBC) Amusing Glastonbury music festival tickets selling well after organisers confirm Coldplay, U2 and the Rolling Stones won't be playing (17)
(LA Times) Silly David Zucker refuses to screen "An American Carol" to movie critics because he says they're all too liberal. Michael Medved gives it thumbs up anyway (172)
(Entertainment Weekly) Misc Stephen King explains why "Prison Break" is his favorite TV show. Andy Dufresne nods from his little place on the Pacific Ocean (34)
(Some Guy) Obvious Director of "Wicker Man" remake wonders why audiences ignored subtext to focus on Nic Cage wearing a bear suit. "Maybe I'll go back 10 years from now and go, 'Hmm, I'm not sure I got that right'" (42)
(The Sun) Cool Patrick Stewart joins cast of "Doctor Who" as renegade Time Lord. Make it so (115)

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