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Sun October 05, 2008
(The Hollywood Reporter) Sad Today I lost faith in humanity. "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" number one in the box office (69)
(Seacoastonline.com) Strange "'Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist' made me want to be a gay teenage boy. That's a first for me, and I watch a lot of Bravo". Penis (50)
(Gawker) Amusing Jeff Bridges hopes upcoming "Tron" turns out as good as Peter Jackson's "King Kong" (40)
(People Magazine) Spiffy She's hot, she's funny, and she's single. Gentlemen, the line starts to the right (84)
(Some Sad Guy) Unlikely Britney Spears' parents impose a six month sex ban on Brit. I hope they have a foolproof chasity belt (35)
(Entertainment Weekly) Obvious Why CW Network's new live-action Robin prequel "The Graysons" is the worst idea ever (41)
(The Morning Call) Scary I fear to watch yet cannot look away - a musical based on Kathy Lee Gifford's life (7)
(Daily Mail) Interesting SpOILer alert: the next Bond girl dipped in genuine crude. Pretty slick (42)
(LA Times) Silly Harrison Ford says George Lucas is in "think mode" about "Indiana Jones 5." I have a bad feeling about this (86)
(The Nietzsche Family Circus) Spiffy "Family Circus" cartoonist Bil Keane is 86 today, here are some randomized cartoons of his paired with randomized Friedrich Nietzsche quotes (64)

Sat October 04, 2008
(Bitten and Bound) Interesting Kendra Wilkinson hosted a Girls Next Door afterparty event in the Bahamas last night. She's already dividing her time between an NFL hunk and an octogenarian albatross - where does she find time? (26)
(Now Magazine) Interesting David Gest likes to treat Michael Jackson to a KFC meal and giggle as he watches him peel the skin off the chicken (44)
(UPI) Sad Vacuum cleaner enthusiast Stan Kann dead at 83. That sucks (24)
(Digital Spy) Strange Today's not-news item that would have been interesting 30 years ago: "Susan Sarandon poses nude for new book" (41)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Pep talk all fading stars give themselves: "I think it's great being less famous." (20)
(AP) Amusing Elvis may still be alive, but the museum dedicated to proving it...not so much (11)
(Metro) Spiffy Maggie Gyllenhaal will continue being a naked MILF in films (80)
(People Magazine) Obvious Audrina calls rumors about LC and Justin Bobby "hurtful". And if you know what this headline is about, you really need to find some new hobbies (27)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Howard Stern plans to give up half of his fortune to charity (33)
(Some Guy) Silly Everyone knows the undead never stay dead: Great-grandnephew of Bram Stoker to publish sequel to "Dracula" (20)
(IGN) Silly Characters no one wants to see in "Batman 3" (153)
(Mediabistro) Interesting Geraldo sustains burns to the face when his classic cars catch fire. Geraldo's fine, but the mustache is in critical but stable condition (27)
(Breitbart.com) Interesting Anna Nicole Smith and her boobs are back in the news (24)
(Idolator) Stupid "Rock Bottom" new TV show will be like "Intervention" but for rock bands with drug problems. Because what a guy needs most in the depth of addiction is to be in a show that glorifies his band's rock n' roll lifestyle (25)

Fri October 03, 2008
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Cool Daredevil reboot is being discussed. Matt Murdoch never saw this coming (55)
(Reuters) Interesting WGA to picket Tyler Perry Studios, owned by Tyler Perry, writer/director/producer of "Tyler Perry's House of Payne", over charges Tyler Perry fired 4 writers for attempting to organize a union contract with Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry (42)
(WSRZ) Misc The brass at HBO have saved us all from Kanye West (23)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy "You're half lesbian?" Me too (30)
(BBC) Stupid English academics have nothing better to do these days than issue statements to the press insisting, "I'm not Dumbledore" (22)
(The New York Times) Cool Bob Dylan understands the weak economy. Too bad no one can understand Bob Dylan (18)
(Bravewords) Cool Forget Metallica and AC/DC, and save your money for the release of Metalocalypse: Season Two (122)
(College Humor) Amusing How cell phones would ruin plots of famous movies (87)
(MSNBC) Cool Las Vegas opens up a Mob museum. You don't really get a choice about whether you want to see it or not, you pay the friggin' admission or they break your friggin' kneecaps (19)
(BBC) Spiffy Bollywood strike finally over after negotiations were settled with 3 hour dancing finale involving all the actors, union officials, film production bosses wearing colorful costumes (14)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting Amanda Peet and Jenny McCarthy fight over issue of childhood vaccinations and autism. It's not clear who came out the winner, because when two of the best racks in Hollywood are involved, everybody wins (107)
(Huffington Post) Amusing Rachael Ray: Corn Star (67)
(Now Magazine) Obvious Jay-Z wants to make babies with Beyonce. Hey, get in line, pal (23)
(ABC News) Sad James Earl Jones to receive SAG death sentence, err "Lifetime Achievement Award". R.I.P. (34)
(Paste Magazine) Hero Henry Rollins: "You give 'em money and that's what they'll do: they'll piss in a jar and drop a crucifix in it. So fark 'em" (104)
(Some Guy) Strange Beastly puppets, squirting blood and a fake John McCain. VP debate after-party? Nope, photos from the opening night of GWAR's new tour (38)
(Huffington Post) Weird Kelly Ripa's belly button keeps changing shape (94)
(Entertainment Weekly) Silly Hungry, cranky Jeff Probst blogs from "Survivor: Season 17" (23)
(Wired) Spiffy Writers talk new "Trek" movie. "We have to bring more 'Star Wars' into 'Star Trek'" (118)
(Guitar World) Amusing Famous rock stars describe their own "Spinal Tap" moments (41)

Thu October 02, 2008
(Daily Herald) Cool "Luxury" movie theater opens in Chicago suburbs, complete with reclining armchairs and waiter service. But the $35 ticket price is likely worth the lack of noisy babies and kids alone (162)
(ABC Action News) Dumbass Not to be outdone by the Large Hadron Collider, Limp Kizkit is reuniting to create its own giant black hole of suck (40)
(Starpulse) Stupid Rosie O'Donnell is returning to TV. Don't panic yet, they're only giving her an hour (33)
(Starpulse) Strange Now that all the big diseases have been cured, Salma Hayek is heading up the global fight against tetanus (49)
(Now Magazine) Dumbass The budget for "Transformers 2" appears to be going toward medical bills as clumsy Shia LaBeouf injures himself yet again (33)
(Now Magazine) Dumbass From the "I'll use any excuse to avoid accepting blame" files: Naomi Campbell says the 11 September terrorist attacks were responsible for her airplane arrest in April (31)
(iF Magazine) Cool "Wonderfalls" returning to TV on "Pushing Daisies" this season... how much quirk can one person take? (65)
(Yahoo) Followup OJ Simpson's jury will hear closing arguments today. The five minutes of pretend deliberations before declaring him "not guilty" could begin as early as this afternoon (29)
(Now Magazine) Amusing Sienna Miller regrets saving a group of photographers from drowning. "We had to call the coastguard out to rescue them. We shouldn't have, but we did" (16)
(Reuters) Obvious Warner Brothers proving that they're not smarter than the average bear, developing live-action/animated hybrid Yogi Bear movie (22)
(Reuters) Spiffy Playboy magazine is offering a new way to lose your shirt on Wall Street (124)
(Slate) Sick Your worst suspicions about the fairness of life have been confirmed: Perez Hilton makes over $100,000 per month (35)
(Collider) Cool Twenty-five minutes of "The Watchmen" (51)
(LA Magazine) Cool David Spade finally reveals how he gets so much high-class tail despite being as sexually appealing as a homeless hobbit (88)
(New York Daily News) Obvious Larry Flynt to shoot porn flick with Sarah Palin lookalike. Subby's suggestion for title: "Railin' Palin." Voting enabled in case you have a better one (621)
(Contact Music) Unlikely Coldplay's Chris Martin would like to address all Nickelback haters: "They take a lot of flak from people who have never done f--k all in their life. And I think they're great. That is my final word" (97)
(The Daily Press) Amusing A short list of the worst shows in television history. Yes, "Homeboys in Space" was included (117)
(Sun Sentinel) Cool In reverence of the High Holy Days, here's a slideshow of the sexiest Jewish stars. Not too shabby (83)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Interesting Will Americans tune in tonight to watch wild swings and misses and errors, or will they watch baseball instead? (22)
(AP) Sad Mr. Clean takes a dirt nap (47)
(Now Magazine) Scary Jessica Alba wears Hannibal Lecter mask for new photoshoot. If she's gonna wear bondage gear, we'd prefer it not to be on her face (40)
(BLOCKBUSTER BUZZ) Cool Batman movie on track for a 2009 start, as soon as they get done welding the nipples back onto the Batsuit (66)
(New Scientist) Misc New Scientist's best and worst sci-fi films ever (207)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Daniel Craig says he'll need plastic surgery within five years because of all the bruises he's got on his face from shooting the action-packed James Bond films (23)
(MSNBC) Dumbass Abused women's shelter cuts headliner Sandra Bernhard from annual benefit after she commented Sarah Palin would be "gang-raped by my big black brothers" if she ever visited New York. (With terrifying pic) (95)
(BBC) Unlikely Rick Astley nominated for MTV Europe Music Award (26)
(Defamer) Dumbass "Who the fark is this 'Rosh Hashanah' guy, and why did he reschedule my meeting?" (40)
(Breitbart.com) Silly Actor from "Growing Pains" says if you don't vote, he doesn't "know even what to say to you anymore" (73)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Cool What has "Fringe" done that "Firefly" couldn't? "Embolden thousands of geeky fanboys" surprisingly not the answer (113)

Wed October 01, 2008
(Some Guy) Obvious The liberal media is at it again, heaping praise on Bill Maher's anti-religion documentary and ignoring Kirk Cameron's wonderful movie about marriage and faith (137)
(Yahoo) Obvious Here's a surprise... Spike Lee has pissed someone off (36)
(WOFX.com) Ironic Not News: Jenny McCarthy has a 'stripper pole' in her house. Fark: It's for her son (43)
(LA Times) Stupid Just what you always wanted: a cartoon about Robin without Batman before he was Robin (36)
(Deceiver) Stupid Ashton Kutcher is almost as good at political activism as he is at acting (23)
(Starpulse) Asinine Not news: high-end fashion store in Milwaukee being sued by customer. News: for giving her a very large line of credit. Fark: the woman suing the store is the mother of billionaire media mogul Oprah Winfrey (30)
(wofx) Sad Christina Applegate had nude photos taken before her breast removal, which are probably way better than ones afterwards would have been (227)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Stupid NBC is remaking "The Partridge Family" in a despicable version described as "a struggling, sort of well-meaning mom pimping her kids in order to create a wholesome-slash-sexy cash cow" (37)
(Celebitchy) Followup That Anne Hathaway interview about buttsecks? Faked. Share your disappointment to the right (59)
(WWTDD) Followup About that Heather Locklear DUI arrrest? Turns out she was framed. No, really... stop laughing (39)
(CNN) Amusing Kim Kardashian's "not ready for prime time" ass banished back to cable reality show hell (57)
(CNN) Interesting Actor: More HIV positive portrayals of gays, lesbians needed (80)
(Starpulse) Asinine Megan Fox announces that she is a man with a vagina (99)
(MTV) Spiffy "Thor" comic writer J. Michael Straczynski reacts to news that Kenneth Branagh is directing movie adaptation: "Honestly, I can't imagine anyone better suited to this" (41)
(iWon) Ironic National Federation of the Blind to protest movie "Blindness." The funny thing is they haven't seen it yet (94)
(Some Guy) Obvious Attention Hollywood: Dane Cook is not a movie star (80)

Tue September 30, 2008
(WWTDD) Obvious Obvious tag practically explodes: Sharon Stone loses custody battle because judge found her not fit to be a mother (48)
(Some Guy) Obvious DC fast-tracks new "Green Lantern" movie to start shooting in spring. No word if Jack Black will play title role (95)
(io9) Interesting Author says progress is moving so fast that writing near-future science fiction is impossible. The nanobots who wrote this article would agree (45)
(Slashfilm) Cool Marc Ecko's Star Wars collection features some of the coolest SW clothes seen in a while, also works as a form of contraception (105)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting Food magazines are gaining in popularity. Every issue of Paula Deen's magazine comes with a free stick of butter, while Sandra Lee's Semi-Homemade arrives in a plain wrapper so your neighbors don't see it (128)
(People Magazine) Spiffy Paris Hilton dresses as a fairy in a bikini to promote her new fragrance, which smells like lilacs, roses, and Benji Madden's junk (65)
(Contact Music) Interesting DJ A.M. releases a statement that he's "the luckiest guy alive," is dismayed to discover that the phrase has been trademarked by Scarlett Johansson's new husband (52)
(Starpulse) Interesting Five celebrity offspring worth watching. Difficulty: Bruce Willis and Demi Moore's daughter Jay Leno made the list (61)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Affected by the economic downturn in the U.S., Hugh Hefner may face bankruptcy. Question is, will he remain a Playboy once his bunnies hop on out of his mansion? (31)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Interesting The story of "Twisted," an obscure videogame that helped create the concept of "casual gaming." You could play it today "and it would not feel one bit out of touch 15 years after its debut" (41)
(Metro) Asinine Elton John introduces room to Tina Turner. When she gets to Boy George, she decides to turn her back on him. The biatch is back (18)
(Some Guy) Cool It is official: Paramount signs deal with Marvel Comics to produce five new superhero movies: "Iron Man 2," "Thor," "Captain America," "The Avengers" and "Iron Man 3" (115)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Hero "You wild, beautiful thing. You crazy handful of nothin'." Ebert rhapsodizes about Paul Newman (24)
(AJC) Misc CNN hottie gets restraining order against stalker, proving stalkers have liberal bias (96)
(Think Progress) Cool If you've ever wanted to see Stephen Colbert as a character in a Spider-Man comic, well, you will probably die a virgin. But here it is anyway (28)
(Deceiver) Dumbass There's a very good reason Ellen DeGeneres shouldn't promote Cover Girl cosmetics. Besides the obvious (32)
(Telegraph) Dumbass Kelly Osbourne admits to four STD tests a year following unprotected sex. In other news, there were actually four guys willing to have unprotected sex with Kelly Osbourne (108)
(Starpulse) Strange If you want to blame someone for picking "Quantum of Solace" as the title of the new James Bond film, blame Daniel Craig (78)

Mon September 29, 2008
(io9) Interesting Looks like they are turning the story of "lonelygirl15" into a SciFi drama. Wait? What? (26)
(News.com.au) Asinine An episode of Family Guy entitled "Death is a biatch," in which the grim reaper has sex with a dead girl, lands Australian TV station in hot water after receiving a phone complaint from one viewer (71)
(Some Guy) Obvious Director McG says James Cameron gave his blessing for "Terminator 4." James Cameron: "It could be a big steaming pile...there was no blessing involved" (65)
(AZCentral) Dumbass "My hair started falling out in my partying years, because excessive cocaine abuse affects the adrenal system and halts hair growth. I'm lucky it grew back. I'm not vain, but I am obsessed with my hair" (30)
(Cinematical) Interesting "Blade Runner" sequel possibly in the works. Do androids dream of crappy sequels? (56)
(io9) Fail HBO greenlights new series where the USA has suffered a financial crisis and millions of people emigrate to other countries, setting up "Americatowns." This should be a winner (75)
(London Times) Asinine Just when they say modern art is rubbish, along comes a naked female mannequin sitting on the john to reaffirm our faith in it all (60)
(Fox News) Amusing Brooke Hogan says she lives a "gay lifestyle," further fueling speculation that she's actually a post-op tranny with bad implants and a face like a foot (46)
(Roberto Flack) Cool Desperate Houswives star Eva Longoria set to play Wasp in the upcoming Avengers movie?? (31)
(Contact Music) Obvious When you lay down with a paparazzo, you can expect to get up with a sex tape (37)
(Mirror.co.uk) Spiffy British celebrity Katie Price to try to get famous in the U.S., since Hollywood is apparently short of large-breasted women with no talent (40)
(Now Magazine) Dumbass From the "Wives I Don't Want" file: Victoria Beckham tells David his looks will fade but she will always make people laugh (33)
(Cracked) Scary Five upcoming remakes of 80s movies (that must be stopped) (101)
(BLOCKBUSTER BUZZ) Unlikely "So, do you want to play the good guy or the bad guy in this new Robin Hood movie?" Russell Crowe: "Both" (43)
(IMDB) PSA There once was a man named Clay / Who has his birthday today / He turns 51 / Some say his career's done / And he's probably a horrible lay. OOOOHHHHH (44)
(MSNBC) Obvious Think American TV is bad? At least you don't watch TV in Europe or Japan. "In Germany, for instance, they have a hard time with humor -- producing their own, or appreciating humor from other countries" (33)
(Geno's World) Amusing "Valkyrie" trailer starring Tom Cruise as a Nazi without a German accent. How authentic (105)
(London Times) Ironic "Sexual activity is pretty repetitive, however imaginative you try to be" says author of two bestselling erotic memoirs (45)
(Columbia College Today) Strange Sha Na Na began as Ivy League glee club, opened for Hendrix at Woodstock and is now being credited for "inventing" what we think of as "The Fifties." Born to hand-jive, baby (41)
(Some Guy) Interesting Why is the British Film Institute ignoring geeky movies? (6)
(Some Guy) Interesting The 10 most outrageous movie sequel patch-ups. Or, how to make another film when you've already burned all your bridges (89)
(Cracked) Obvious Six stupid mistakes every movie criminal makes (47)
(Variety) Spiffy Further proof that comic book movies are now serious business: Shakespearian thespian Kenneth Branagh in talks to direct Marvel Comics' "Thor" (63)

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