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Sun August 17, 2008
(Daily Star) Unlikely Harry Potter can make himself invisible...but can't tie his own shoelaces (6)
(Gawker) Amusing Robert Downey Jr. on "The Dark Knight": "This is so high brow and so f-----g smart, I clearly need a college education to understand this movie. You know what? F--k DC comics" (41)
(Some Guy) Asinine Lionsgate wants "Punisher: War Zone" to score a PG-13 rating. Judging by the trailer, they'll be reshooting the entire movie (27)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Sarah Jessica Parker says shoes are better than sex. No wonder Matthew went walkies (25)
(CNN) Interesting "Dark Knight" is dethroned by "Tropic Thunder", which dethroned "Dark Knight". So "Dark Knight" is no longer the biggest movie of all time ("Dark Knight") (51)
(AP) Amusing Entertainment Weekly's fall preview issue has a picture of the stars of the next "Harry Potter" movie on the cover. Slight problem there (15)
(Washington Post) Sad Internet radio nears its end as record companies continue to insist that 100-300% of revenue is a fair price (81)
(Box Office Mojo) Amusing The new Star Wars movie is an epic. EPIC FAIL, that is (143)
(Now Magazine) Obvious Scarlet Johansson looks at herself in the mirror and says, "yeah, I look hot." Thanks for the news flash, toots (98)
(Contact Music) Obvious David Carradine found the secret to eternal youth: younger women. "My oldest daughter said, 'Dad, how come you don't hang around with women your own age?' I said, 'Listen, women my age are usually a lot older than me" (44)
(Daily Mail) Scary Amy Winehouse in "My Left Foot - The Musical". Dear God, there's a pic (71)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Madonna divorce now so certain that only confirmation needed now is publicist's denial of the exact date (10)
(London Times) Strange Robert Wagner admits in new book he went a little dinghy the night wife Natalie Wood drowned, and was jealous over Christopher Walken. Had also once planned to bust a cap in Warren Beatty's ass (alcohol was involved) (19)
(YouTube) Spiffy Happy 48th birthday to Sean Penn - all you need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and you're fine (clip contains some profanity) (23)
(The New York Times) Interesting A comedian reading "fake" news is now the most trusted man in America? (84)
(io9) Asinine Two teenagers charged with conspiracy to commit an act of terrorism after defacing playing cards and leaving them at various stores. The cards had "Joker" written on them and "police considered them threatening" (105)
(Contact Music) Hero Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell donate their fees from the film they are in, which is Heath Ledger's last role, to Heath's 2 year old daughter (71)

Sat August 16, 2008
(TMZ) Amusing Dick Van Dyke drops paparazzis like Rob Petrie trippin' over ottomans (28)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Just because you've nailed Megan Fox doesn't mean you're talented enough to be in the next Batman movie (70)
(IMDB) Misc IMDB's 100 worst films of all time (126)
(News.com.au) Sad Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such celebrity cautionary tales as "Shia LeBeouf's Adventures Through the Windshield Glass" and "Mommy, Why Do I Have Nine Fingers?" (58)
(JSOnline) Strange Was Minnie Pearl the first Hip Hop artist? (37)
(Straight.com) Amusing In "Clone Wars", Ahsoka now replaces Jar Jar Binks as the Poochie of Star Wars (76)
(People Magazine) Obvious When you are fabulously rich, amazingly attractive, and guys keep breaking up with you... there may be something wrong. With you. Just saying (76)
(Some Guy) Obvious Don't hassle the Hoff, or he will list your divorce settlement house for $2 million less than what it is worth (6)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi will be married today in an "intimate" ceremony. Giggity (47)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Jonathan Rhys Meyes didn't like the way his "Velvet Goldmine" co-star Ewan McGregor slipped him the tongue (29)
(Bitten and Bound) Cool Madge turns 50 today. The racy phenom just keeps churning it out. Amazing (73)
(Some Guy) Amusing The 7 deadly sins of horror movies. Clue: always, always, always kill the bad guy (67)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Cool Back off man. I'm a parachutist (10)
(Sci Fi) Cool Rorschach's Journal. August 15th, 2008.: Today, Warner Brothers released four new images from Zack Snyder's upcoming "Watchmen" movie, including a cool new still of the Owl Ship (83)

Fri August 15, 2008
(AP) Sad Hasbro updates "Clue" - and gets rid of the revolver, wrench, and lead pipe. "Kasandra Scarlet in the Spa with the Trophy" just doesn't sound as cool (97)
(Some Guy) Amusing 20 things porn believes (none of which are true) (89)
(AP) Sad Working with everyone from Bob Dylan to Zeppelin, Jerry Weler has passed. Good night music dude, as Bob would said;"Not the end, not the end Just remember that death is not the end" (24)
(Reuters) Amusing Sylvester Stallone plans to advertise Russian brand vodka "Russian Ice", which explains what he's been drinking to make him talk like that (15)
(Contact Music) Obvious Jessica Simpson tells Elle magazine, "I will never do pop again." At least Joe still has Ashley (46)
(ToplessRobot) Interesting Terrible villains, awful plotlines and that invisible plane: 10 reasons no one cares about a Wonder Woman movie (113)
(Some Guy) Amusing Old and busted: Your childhood memories of "The Karate Kid". New Hotness: A remake of "The Karate Kid" directed by Will Smith starring Will Smith's son (132)
(Now Magazine) Amusing Russell Brand wants Brad Pitt to adopt ugly babies. "I think the adoption policy is probably better because when their genes come together, it creates a storm of attractiveness so potent that it could one day bring down the planet" (23)
(Yahoo) Amusing Pamela Anderson is dating a member of the Abu Dhabi's royal family, a prince she has nicknamed "Milk Sheik" (48)
(Globe and Mail) Spiffy New Canadian cable porn channel will feature 50% domestic content, including the show "Hosers 'n Beavers in Yarmouth" (52)
(Some Guy) Silly It's bad enough that Star Trek geeks have spent years learning to speak Klingon; now they've invented a whole new language for Romulans. K'pekt (41)
(Onion AV Club) Sad George Lucas hired one of the top three living directors of animation and gave him full creative control, and the result was a masterpiece. Then he fired him and made a crappy kids movie on the cheap (110)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Amusing "The last thing this movie needs is a Jabba the Hutt sex scene." Gotta love when Roger Ebert pans a movie (79)
(Some Guy) Silly Mike Myers to join Brad Pitt in Quentin Tarantino's "Inglorious Bastards." Party time, excellent, muthafarkers (50)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Dumbass Not News: WB decides to bump Potter 6 from Nov 08 to Jul 09. FARK: After releasing trailers with the wrong date and getting in EW's Fall Movie Preview (37)
(Toledo Blade) Obvious How far has Pauly Shore's career fallen? His appearance at a comedy club is trumped in the local paper by the National Tractor Pulling Championships (33)
(E! Online) Obvious Anna Faris' observations of Playboy mansion: "There were randomly placed jars of baby oil but no babies that I knew of." (36)
(Entertainment Weekly) Sad The hopes of a long-suffering "Star Wars" fan (31)
(UGO) Cool The 50 hottest sci-fi girls. Let the great nerd debate begin (209)
(Cracked) Interesting The 7 crappiest "Super Heroes" in comic book history. Sometimes it doesn't take that much to be super (123)

Thu August 14, 2008
(AccessAtlanta) Silly Kate Winslet said it was hard having her husband direct her on how to make love to another man. Her husband replied, "Of course it was." (37)
(Yahoo) Cool Jennifer Love Hewitt makes triumphant return to "sharp knees" status (62)
(celebedge.com) Spiffy Angelina Jolie to play Catwoman in next Batman flick; seeks advice from porn star for role (216)
(Contact Music) Cool Dave Coulier comes clean about Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know"; says the song doesn't suck, but Alanis sure did (116)
(AZCentral) Unlikely Bono snorts 'salt' for his 'voice' (55)
(Rocky Mountain News) Obvious Olive Garden uncomfortable with Playmate's publicized love of their tossed salad and noodles (74)
(Fox News) Ironic Noted political theorist/tranny Brooke Hogan criticizes Paris Hilton for her political ignorance (317)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Interesting Michael Showalter and Michael Ian Black of The State are signed to do show on Comedy Central, "The Polite Chuckle and Uncomfortable Silence Comedy Hour" (65)
(People Magazine) Silly First photos of Jewel's wedding are released. Good to see the groom wore his church jeans (35)
(Digital Spy) Interesting George Lucas says "Star Wars" is not science fiction: "It's much more attuned to mythology, to psychology, to history than it is to science." He forgot "to suckitude" (148)
(Some Guy) Amusing Hef to stop having big parties at Playboy Mansion......Scott Baio and Dustin Diamond are suicidal (85)
(Boston Globe) Amusing If you wrote "Steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped 'Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.'", you win this year's bad writing contest (47)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Florida If you attended a casting call for "Beverly Hills Cop IV" in Florida, you just fell for a banana in the tailpipe (25)
(Variety) Spiffy EA working on "The Godfather II" video game. I know it was you, Fredo. You haxx0r3d my heart. YOU HAXX0R3D MY HEART (25)
(Nerve) Hero TV's Craig Ferguson seduces sexy talk-show guest on the air; she offers to help him "get rid of the ghosts" in his dressing room (52)
(Some cornhole) Amusing ABC's hit television show "Wife Swap" seeking cornhole fanatics (100)
(Chud) Silly George Lucas patterned his new gay "Clone Wars" Ziro the Hutt after Truman Capote. No, really (42)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Lionsgate Films to give Conan the Barbarian the "Batman Begins" treatment. "There's no reason there couldn't be a Conan movie every two years. He's almost like Batman" (91)

Wed August 13, 2008
(CNN) Strange Don Cheadle makes the list of spectacular women. Wait, what? (24)
(Telegraph) Spiffy Terrence Howard claims he sees specific colors and rainbows when hearing certain music notes. Whether or not it only happens while hanging out in Robert Downey Jr.'s limo, he did not say (29)
(io9) Interesting Clues to Lost season five: Who's back, who's dead and what does it mean? (48)
(MSNBC) Interesting Top 5 TV Shows that need to be on DVD. "My Mother The Car", "Cop Rock" and "Mr T. And Tina" strangely absent (219)
(Yahoo) Stupid Huffington Post writer identifies the only actress with any class today: Joan Allen. Oddly, there's no mention of her role in the upcoming "Death Race" (32)
(SeattlePI) Cool A&E Biography explores legend and reality of "Animal House" (39)
(AZCentral) Stupid Playboy Mansion update: Jason Statham kicked out, Jon Lovitz taking pictures with his face by bare asses, some guy settled for Matthew Perry after striking out with Playmates (57)
(Variety) Spiffy "Hee-Haw" is coming back on the air. Dig up Minnie Pearl. It's only been about 12 years, she won't look much different (33)
(Music-News) Silly After converting to lesbianism, Lindsay Lohan is now set to convert to judaism for her girlfriend Samantha Ronson which, including Kabbalah and AA, will constitute her third conversion this year (251)
(WWTDD) Obvious John Mayer joins long list of guys that got tired of Jennifer Anniston's shiat (170)
(NYPost) Amusing Britney's Plea: I don't want my kids to be like me (39)
(Canoe) Sappy James Bond fights for custody of his children. No, not that James Bond. No, not him either. No, no, not that one; you know, the other one (34)
(The Register) Interesting The IT Crowd joins the long list of British comedies to be remade in a new, unfunny version by American cable television (87)
(WWTDD) Interesting Better late than never: Marisa Tomei to play stripper in upcoming film ( with bills in the g-string photo goodness ) (114)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Universal to adapt Robert Jordan's "Wheel of Time" series for big-screen. No one will survive long enough to see how it ends (203)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Stupid CBS announces "Hawaii Five-0 2.0," featuring updated theme song. Book 'em, Danno (38)
(TheSequitur.com) Cool Radiohead's next album? The soundtrack to Chuck Palahniuk's "Choke." And they have some big shoes to fill (80)
(AccessAtlanta) Spiffy As a strategy to reignite interest, Sony Pictures Television has packed a bus with "Seinfeld" memorabilia and games for a 26-city tour with a focus on college campuses. Not that there's anything wrong with that (30)
(St. Petersburg Times) Amusing Wuudy da Wabbit we-make: Hollywood plans latest reincarnation of "Meatballs" (21)

Tue August 12, 2008
(Chicago Sun-Times) Cool Ebert reviews Tropic Thunder and ponders on its star: "All but stealing the show, Robert Downey Jr. is not merely funny but also very good and sometimes even subtle... [coming after Iron Man] He's back, big time." (82)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Obvious You know that scathing 'Clone Wars' review AICN posted? Turns out Warner Bros. has decided to actually enforce their embarago on press screenings for this film. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a stinker on our hands (114)
(Variety) Spiffy Angelina Jolie set to replace Tom Cruise in upcoming espionage thriller "Edwin A. Salt," in attempt to make the hero more masculine (28)
(Radar Magazine) Followup Turns out that Beyonce's skin does change color when her L'Oreal ad is placed in newspapers for black women: It gets darker (pic) (187)
(Bitten and Bound) Followup Teen British socialite Peaches Geldof ran away to Vegas to get married to a rock star. She's the UK equivalent of Paris Hilton -- famous for absolutely nothing (47)
(People Magazine) Silly Actor Ian Ziering says appearing on the new "90210" would be a "step backwards" in his career, since he's really more focused on moving from the grill to night assistant manager in his current job (83)
(Starpulse) Asinine Madonna is trying to steal another child from a family in Malawi. Family not interested in giving up their daughter, but Madonna's still trying anyway (50)
(Starpulse) Interesting Velvet Revolver decide to go in a new musical direction and hire Lenny Kravitz to replace Scott Weiland as their new singer. New direction is obviously "make all our songs sound the same" (89)
(Canada.com) Obvious Original SS Minnow restoration nearly finished, will take passengers on three-hour tours. No really, three-hour tours (132)
(Fox Sports) Amusing The 10 greatest sport video games not named Madden. "Paperboy" noticeably absent (215)
(BBC) Misc Radiohead penning score for new Chuck Palahniuk movie, providing twice the suck for half the entertainment value (181)
(Bumpshack) Amusing Katie Holmes and midget husband at "Tropic Thunder" premiere in Hollywood (with pics) (93)
(ClusterStock) Obvious The Ed McMahon indicator says the housing market hasn't bottomed yet (10)
(Metro) Amusing ♫ Hey Amidala what have you done? Hey Adm'ral Akbar who's the only one? Hey little Yoda this bond you must tap, don't you tell Ackbar that it's all a trap... It's a nice day for a geek wedding ♪ (127)
(Reuters) Cool Brad Pitt signs on to do Quentin Tarantino's "Inglorious Bastards." Also, Simon Pegg in discussions to join cast (49)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely Geri Halliwell poses for sorta-want bikini pics, says she "feels self-conscious stripping off in public". Odd that it never seemed to bother her in her prior career as a nude model (bikini pics) (106)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Obvious Seth Green joins the cast of "Heroes." Robot Chicken parody in three... two... one... (44)
(Contact Music) Spiffy "Evil Dead 2" voted the greatest B-movie of all time. Groovy (70)
(Defamer) Cool Jake Gyllenhaal buffs up for latest movie, "Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time." With muscle-y pic (72)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Cool Deleted Season 2 scenes from "Heroes" reveal that George Takei's super power was too buy Apple stock, as well as an alternate Season 2 ending (with videos) (37)
(MTV) Scary A peek into Heath Ledger's Joker diary (85)

Mon August 11, 2008
(MTV) Cool Sure, Batman Begins was awesome. But what would Joss Whedon's Batman reboot have been like? "In my version, there was actually a new [villain], it wasn't one of the classics." (97)
(Some Guy) Amusing Original Freddy Robert Englund says he's heard Billy Bob Thorton will be slipping on the glove and sweater for upcoming "Nightmare on Elm Street" remake. He likes them french-fried teenagers (35)
(Guardian.com) Obvious Will "Star Trek Online" be the geekiest game of all time? (147)
(Some over the hill magazine) Sad "Rolling Stone" switching to smaller format with glossy paper and sleeker page designs. Will feature Jonas Brothers on every cover (47)
(Fox News) Spiffy Tori Spelling isn't going to be in the new 90210. This show just got ten points more watchable (20)
(St. Petersburg Times) Silly Hulkster's daughter Brooke Hogan rails against gossip blogs on her MySpace page, forgetting they are the only reason anyone knows who she is (20)
(New York Daily News) Ironic Lynne Spears' book about how to raise children has been repackaged as a "self-effacing memoir" on how she retained her faith despite her daughters' screw-ups (16)
(Some Guy) Strange Obama and McCain vying for the one endorsement that will surely give them the presidency: Angelina Jolie (41)
(Defamer) Obvious The burning hatred that "Today" show viewers feel for Kathie Lee Gifford could fill an Internet message board, and it does (39)
(Slate) Amusing Finally, a method to measure how much NBC's Olympic coverage sucks. Here comes the science (53)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely Madonna has "sprained her ankle", casting doubts on planned celebration for her 50th Birthday. Yes, that's a sprained ankle, and has absolutely nothing to do with her alleged marital problems with Guy Richie. Nosirree (14)
(The Sun) Dumbass Michael isn't the only Jackson with financial difficulties. The Sun is all over his broke ass (8)
(MTV) Obvious George Lucas explains why only the good actors are doing voice-overs in "The Clone Wars" (52)
(Bitten and Bound) Followup If you thought "Heroes" was violent, it's nothing compared to things between Hayden Panettiere's parents. Daddy is currently in the slammer for not playing nice (105)
(New York Daily News) Spiffy One season. Two seasons .... THIRTY NINE seasons. AH AH AH ah ah ah (106)
(Guardian.com) Interesting When most famous people appear in commercials, they give you a headache. Steven Berkoff, however, can go one better (22)
(LA Times) Interesting Luke Wilson helps co-design a golf fashion line for Puma. Owen Wilson makes his second cry for help (13)
(Now Magazine) Amusing Kiefer Sutherland reveals that he's still scarred by his jail sentence: "I actually dropped the soap" (18)
(Newsweek) Misc Woody Allen: Still working, still terrified, still unfunny since the 1970s, still married to stepdaughter (83)
(IGN) Spiffy Top 10 movies within movies. Top three are spot on (155)
(New York Daily News) Stupid Imagine the killer of John Lennon enjoying conjugal visits with his wife in prison. It's easy if you try (62)
(Starpulse) Obvious Britney Spears ready to move on from her old trainwreck and move on to the next trainwreck (13)
(News.com.au) Stupid Excelsior, true disbelievers: Paris Hilton teams up with Stan Lee to create a superhero for an MTV cartoon (33)
(E! Online) Spiffy "The Dark Knight" smokes "Pineapple Express" (84)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely Paper claims Sean Connery is obsessed with money, doesn't ever give autographs because he isn't paid to do so. A cheap Scotsman? Shay it ishn't sho (25)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Obvious AICN says "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" really kicks ass in the suck department (97)
(BBC) Spiffy "Torchwood" to give radio broadcast from Large Hadron Collider on September 10 when they attempt to recreate the Big Bang. The Doctor wisely staying far away (54)
(AP) Misc We're gonna need a bigger Thanksgiving table (19)

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