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Sun August 03, 2008
(Yahoo) Sappy Madonna inflicts her new documentary upon her home state of Michigan (12)
(Yahoo) Amusing Yahoo asks a hard-hitting question about "The Dark Knight" that no one wants to ask: "Why does Batman talk like the offspring of Clint Eastwood and a grizzly bear?" (65)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Anna Friel was told by "Pushing Daisies" bosses to eat fewer doughnuts in a bid to lose weight. Were they freaking crazy? She's super-hot as she is (32)
(Star Magazine) Dumbass George Clooney's former girlfriend says she doesn't need George Clooney to be famous, is never going to mention George Clooney's name again. George Clooney (24)
(MSN) Interesting Twelve highly overated movies you probably like (172)
(Contact Music) Silly Simon Pegg wants to write for new "Star Wars" TV series, if he can convince George Lucas to forgive him for what he said about "Phantom Menace" (38)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Soccer star Wayne Rooney's wife Coleen "Dream On" McLoughlin reckons she's earned $16 million through her own talent and that her husband's global status has nothing to do with the deals she's been offered (42)
(Starpulse) Strange M*A*S*H star Loretta Swit battling mystery illness. Alan Alda to deliver a hilarious yet poignant wisecrack (33)
(People Magazine) Sad Christina Applegate diagnosed with breast cancer; caught early, expects full recovery (67)
(People Magazine) Obvious Bernie Mac's people would like to clarify that it's only their client's career that's dead (11)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Video Triumph The Insult Comic Dog visits Comic Con (30)
(TMZ) Amusing "The Price is Right" rigged its "Plinko" game...to benefit the contestant. You're doing it wrong (28)
(Fox News) Misc Shots fired at party attended by Usher, Jermaine Dupri, Sean Combs and Nelly. Pray for Omarion (41)

Sat August 02, 2008
(Some Harvard Guy) Interesting Could Dr. Horrible give Hollywood an entirely new business model in which to reveal its lack of new ideas? (46)
(Now Magazine) Interesting "It's when I'm nervous and my neck gets really, really tense and then that pressure sort of squeezes to my xxxx and they push out" - can you guess what body part Keira Knightley is talking about? (38)
(Contact Music) Obvious Shia LeBeouf's devastating hand injury to be written into plot of "Transformers 2" movie (48)
(Some Guy) Amusing A message from James Franco's mom. Not safe for work language (28)
(Reuters) Misc Fonsi thrilled to have his music used during Olympics. Still inconsolable that jumping sharks not a medal event (9)
(Variety) Followup Ghostbusters video game delayed until 2009. Everything was fine until the power grid was shut off by dickless here (59)
(The Sun) Amusing Desperate to milk her 14-year old daughter Ali, Dinah Lohan books her a casting call for horror movie "Troll", failing to notice that producer Peter Davy's background is porn (57)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Spending the day with giant anthropomorphic rodents, pantsless waterfowl and other vermin will cost you more starting tomorrow (39)
(YouTube) Spiffy Happy birthday to Kevin "Silent Bob" Smith, who turns 38 today. Love him or hate him, LGT the essence of his last film (not safe for work text) (63)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Victoria Beckham would love to appear in a "High School Musical" movie, if only she could sing (26)
(Daily Mail) Followup Mean, nasty, tight-fisted, arrogant and extremely unpleasant Salman Rushdie threatens to sue bodyguard for calling him mean, nasty, tight-fisted, arrogant and extremely unpleasant (43)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Keira Knightley says missing university makes her feel stupid. With photo proof that she doesn't even know how to dress for public (63)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Madonna's brother Chris doesn't reckon that calling her a self-centered humourless sexual predator will sour their relationship in any way (18)
(ClusterStock) Followup Looks like that Sirius-XM merger got approved just in time for the combined entity to go bankrupt. Why so Sirius? (57)
(Some Guy) Interesting The Church of Oprah. And don't say you didn't see it coming (164)
(Debonair) Amusing Debonair Magazine's Best Dressed Superheroes. Bonus: Not a slide show (27)
(Reuters) Scary Gary Glitter to be released from Vietnamese prison later this month, says he feels like a kid again (45)

Fri August 01, 2008
(Telegraph) Interesting The guy who created the "Garfield Minus Garfield" blog has been given approval to turn it into a book with the blessing of Jim Davis (187)
(YouTube) Video Gears of War 2 "Rendezvous" Trailer from E3. Gentlemen, start your chainsaws (29)
(AFP) Dumbass Youth charged with posing online as the star of teen rock band Tokio Hotel to trick young girls into sending him BIE (34)
(Some Guy) Cool Chicks with swords are scary. And hot (52)
(Fox News) Cool Charles Durning gets a star on the Hollywood 'Walk of Fame.' Seriously? Now they're just giving them away (50)
(Now Magazine) Amusing Rhys Ifans' idea of a romantic night out involves taking a girl to strip club Spearmint Rhino. Classy (15)
(Some Guy) Interesting 7 Things contemporary film-makers could learn from Road House (56)
(Techdirt) Dumbass Not News: Band's song leaked to bittorrent. News: Band's manager writes scathing retort to bittorrent community. FARK: Leaker determined to be band's manager (14)
(Bitten and Bound) Interesting Who proposes when lesbians get engaged? It was a dilemma for actress Heather Matarazzo and her partner. They hadn't yet worked out life roles so they each took a stab at the proposal (31)
(LA Times) Cool Walt Disney Co beats earnings forecast despite market slowdown due to sports revenue, surplus 'BORT' novelty license plates (12)
(Live Science) Spiffy Queen guitarist Brian May completes his doctoral thesis in astrophysics, proving link between rotation of the Earth and human females with ample gluteal regions (108)
(TV Squad) Stupid Either by popular demand or sheer exhaustion of creativity, CBS greenlights "Streets of San Francisco: The Next Generation" (10)
(Roberto Flack) Amusing "DragonBall" promo pic surfaces from the upcoming feature film (119)
(Gawker) Spiffy In an outpour of sympathy, Australian teens are baring their bosoms in a show of support to lead singer of The Veronicas, who had unfortunate topless pictures of hers "leaked" on the net earlier this week (80)
(Jalopnik) Cool Full-size cardboard version of James Bond's Aston Martin DB5 comes complete with cardboard machine guns, ejector seat and is SO moneypenny (14)
(Some Guy) Amusing Michael Douglas likes to get drunk, smooch Catherine Zeta-Jones and then pass out on her breasts. And who wouldn't? (49)
(KHOU Houston) Cool After learning that Neil Young has a spider named after him, Stephen Colbert will get his request granted and have a species named after him, with silent "t" (31)
(Defamer) Amusing Theather marquee changover from "Hancock" to "The Dark Knight" goes horribly wrong (76)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely They're weird, vulgar and men don't even like them. So why do so many women still get breast enlargements? (454)
(Oregon Live) Spiffy New Arthur C. Clarke novel to be published August 5, 2008. Bowman complains all these worlds are yours except this (23)
(Now Magazine) Obvious Verne Troyer accuses his ex of beating him. "When you pick up a 2'8" human being and throw him to the floor, it hurts" (59)
(FanBolt) Amusing New Robin Hood film is postponed because Sherwood Forest isn't green enough (42)
(Chud) Weird "Airplane" director's new spoof has the ghost of George Washington teaching Michael Moore to love America in the ashes of the World Trade Center. Wait, what? (61)
(Contact Music) Obvious Snoop Dogg entourage arrested on drug charges, state troopers stopping Snoop's tour bus in Dallas upon noticing expired stickers, also because the windows were opaque with smoke and a dog with funny sunglasses was driving (24)

Thu July 31, 2008
(io9) Cool Nathan Fillion explains Fark's new favorite superhero's powers: part NBA player, part forklift, all awesome (42)
(Some Guy) Spiffy "Tron 2" to definitely have a Pixar influence, as the whole thing is chief John Lasseter's idea (57)
(The Business Sheet) Interesting Scientology is a "crime syndicate," says former member suing church and Tom Cruise for $250 million (290)
(Philadelphia Weekly) Strange Actress Kate Hudson is now dating former hockey player Eric Lindros, who hits his head on the restaurant door on their first date and gets a concussion (53)
(Entertainment Weekly) Cool The 25 best high school movies ever, Bueller, Bueller (108)
(Metro) Unlikely Will Johnny Depp play the Riddler in the next Batman film, even though Tim Burton isn't directing? The website of British tabloid distributed free at tube stations has quoted a no-name blog as its source, so it must be true (68)
(Starpulse) Obvious Rosie O'Donnell announces that she has decided to quit posting stuff to the blog on her official website. Translated: Rosie O'Donnell is tired of reading comments from people who hate her, on her official website (28)
(Mollygood) Asinine One thousand Chinese earthquake victims and a New York lawyer are demanding a $1 billion payout from Sharon Stone over her earthquake remarks. But are willing to settle for an apology or maybe even an autographed picture (15)
(KNBC) Obvious Since Britney started wearing clothes and behaving, Paris is out of town not bothering anybody and Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don't seem to have much of an issue (27)
(Rolling Stone) Interesting Howard Stern plans to make another movie, this time a remake of classic teen flick "Rock 'n' Roll High School." Thankfully, he will not cast himself as Joey Ramone (52)
(Kotaku) Obvious They can't be bargained with, can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear, and they absolutely will not stop. Ever. Until they get a Wii. The soccer moms are coming (44)
(WESH Orlando) Hero Wesley Snipes is 46 today. Happy birthday you badass, IRS denying, spin-kicking, vampire-slaying hero (35)
(Telegraph) Obvious George Lucas sues Andrew Ainsworth for making replicas of storm trooper uniforms, fearing it will degrade the integrity and value of the movie franchise. I think you already accomplished that with "Phantom Menace," George (34)
(Reuters) Unlikely Latest "Mummy" movie success will catapult Brendan Fraser to a choice between "Monkeybone 2" and "George of the Jungle 3" (51)
(Some Guy) Obvious Katie Holmes tells in-laws to get on their spaceship and move out (38)
(Sun Sentinel) Obvious Worst movies of all time, with trailers (256)
(Media Morgue) Strange "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" creators are working on a new Muppet movie. Does this mean Grover will cuss like a drunken sailor and we'll see Kermit in a full frontal nude scene? (32)
(Some Guy) Stupid After the epic failure that was "The Love Guru," Mike Meyers decides to branch out and attempt serious, new acting. Just kidding, a fourth "Austin Powers" film is in the works. Sigh... (43)
(NYPost) Amusing When there's no ideas ♪♫♪ in Hollywood ♪♫♪ Who you gonna call? (52)
(Gawker) Amusing Ryan Adams finds out that Love is Hell (28)
(National Post) Unlikely The most amazing thing about the new Batman film? The work ethic of the minor characters (37)
(Starpulse) Unlikely Jessica Simpson opens up about past abuse in a song on her new album, but won't discuss it any further. Don't worry Joe, she doesn't mention you by name (40)
(BBC) Obvious Obama wants Ludacris to get the f*ck out his bizness, his bizness (77)
(Now Magazine) Sad New "Doctor Who" head writer rules out Billie Piper ever returning to the show, saying she was just a "a slightly needy girlfriend." Blasphemy (78)
(YouTube) Spiffy In honor of Norman "Fatboy Slim" Cook's 45th birthday, here's his greatest video ever. I mean, THE greatest video ever. Where did that Walken tag go anyway? (58)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Jamie Lynn Spears to marry her fiance Casey Aldridge in their backyard. Apparently, no ministers were prepared to let Britney into their churches (29)
(Westword) Amusing Hayden Panettiere deals with a signing at the San Diego Comic Con with a bottle of Purell and a grimace (89)
(Daily Mail) Followup Matthew Broderick is back in the saddle again (49)
(Reuters) Amusing Spike TV to air more "Stupid Death Tricks," more commonly known as "The Fark Headline Factory Show" (8)
(St. Petersburg Times) Obvious Teenage girls cry hysterically as Criss Angel disappears into hotel implosion rubble. And then... what a twist (66)
(Some Guy) Sad Paul and Ringo block release of "Let It Be" documentary, ostensibly because they don't want us to see Paul bossing everybody around, John's fascination with Yoko, or Ringo's ridiculous sideburns (62)
(NME) Amusing If creating the Backstreet Boys and 'N SYNC weren't enough to get him shanked in prison, Lou Pearlman has become the newest jailhouse snitch (27)

Wed July 30, 2008
(Bitten and Bound) Amusing Kathy and Rick Hilton are hopping mad that McCain lumped poor Paris in with the likes of Barack Obama - especially after they forked over $4,600 in campaign contributions (88)
(Deceiver) Ironic Jennifer Aniston always needs a cigarette while working on her tan after raising money for cancer research (78)
(MTV) Followup Shot-by-shot analysis of new "Harry Potter 6" trailer, including four scenes that magically don't seem to be in the book (122)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Obvious In a move that shocks industry insiders, Johnny Depp hired to be in the new Tim Burton movie (84)
(Metro) Obvious Gillian Anderson felt sexual heat when she met Clinton, now has a thing for blue dresses (65)
(People Magazine) Spiffy New Harry Potter trailer reveals Voldemort as a boy, unfortunate lack of Hermione (103)
(Bitten and Bound) Unlikely Has Hugh Hefner finally come to his senses and added a hot brunette to his mix? (71)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Movie bosses offer cancer patient Patrick Swayze a part in "Dirty Dancing" sequel. Apparently, in the hope that he does a Heath Ledger and drops dead before the film's released (46)
(Starpulse) Cool Lewis Black's "Root Of All Evil" returns for a second season and to have a lot of shouting, finger wagging and the uncomfortable feeling that the guy could drop from a coronary at any given moment (62)
(Now Magazine) Amusing Gordon Ramsay says he wasn't in the delivery room for the birth of his kids. "I don't want to see a skinned rabbit or skinned pigeon coming out of your ninny" (72)
(CNN) Followup According to the police, Shia Lebeouf is not at fault in his recent accident. Apparently, the car was driving itself and was rather upset (18)
(Canoe) Amusing Interview with Seth Rogen, fresh off the Comic Con to promote his weed-action comedy "Pineapple Express": "If they're not interested in what you're doing, you're f---ed" (31)
(Now Magazine) Dumbass Justin Timberlake is convinced he was the first celeb to sport a trucker cap and is upset that Ashton Kutcher claims he is. How do these idiots get such hot women? (64)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Kate Hudson is back on the market after Lance Armstrong decides to take his ball and go home (75)
(News.com.au) Interesting Angelina Jolie may play the role of Catwoman with the original Catwoman's blessing. Question: who was the original Catwoman? (146)
(Variety) Spiffy Eh, What's up, Doc? Tired of its view being blocked by the planet Venus, Warner Brothers gets out the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator (41)
(News.com.au) Strange If you had Jerry Lewis in the "Which celebrity will be caught on a plane with a gun" pool, collect your prize to the right (29)
(Some Guy) Stupid "You'd hit it" one-armed model profiled. Bonus: Marie Claire cover photo actually shows Mischa Barton (143)

Tue July 29, 2008
(G4TV) Amusing Want to know how far Freddie Prinze Jr has fallen off the face of the Earth? He's currently slumming it as a member of the WWE's creative team (80)
(The Sun) Strange Pam Anderson was approached to play Scully before Gillian Anderson was, but instead we got several seasons of her bouncing in a red swimsuit by the beach instead of stuffy, buttoned-up shirts and actual acting (40)
(Bitten and Bound) Interesting Money is no object for this Angelina Jolie look-alike. The transformation is startling until she opens her yap (45)
(Starpulse) Spiffy Alicia Keys set to get a little icky in her thump as Jack White will be joining her for the new "James Bond: The Phantom Menace" theme song (55)
(Slate) Video A catalogue of great fight scenes in film history which is totally bogus since it omits the puppet battle from "Team America: World Police" (52)
(Starpulse) Obvious Britney Spears' vacation in Mexico sparks unfortunate romance rumors. Quick, what's Spanish for "trainwreck"? (49)
(BBC) Interesting Infamous Sex Pistols/Bill Grundy 1976 interview becomes television archive's most requested clip, followed closely by Pamela Anderson running along the beach in a red swimsuit (72)
(CNN) Stupid Current status of Amy Winehouse and her revolving hospital door: OUT (w/scary pic) (43)
(E! Online) Interesting Isabel Lucas may have earned herself a slave for life on the Transformers 2 set (38)
(The Business Sheet) Interesting China mortified by "Kung Fu Panda": fat, smelly bear who beats up teacher clashes with beloved image of national symbol (26)
(YouTube) Spiffy David Warner, everyone's favorite villain, turns 67 today. Here he is in a rare happy role, singing "Oh What A Day" in Hansel and Gretel. THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS (59)
(Now Magazine) Followup It turns out Lindsay Lohan wasn't hit by a motorbike. What a missed opportunity (12)
(Fox News) Obvious Shia LeBeouf: "I don't know how to have one drink." Finally, a celebrity who can accept responsib -- oh wait, there he goes, blaming his dad (33)
(Wired) Wheaton Happy birthday, Wil Wheaton (286)
(AP) Cool George Carlin joked about death on his last album. Entitled "It's Bad For Ya," it comes out today (91)
(Some Guy) Obvious Why that Indiana Jones ending is all George Lucas' fault (154)
(IGN) Interesting Good news, everyone An interview with Futurama's David X. Cohen (39)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Top 10 historically inaccurate movies. Sadly, this comes out before Cruise's Nazi movie. (warning: slideshow) (108)
(Daily Star) Spiffy Prince Charles accidentally books Dita Von Teese to strip at Harry's birthday: "He gnawed his fist to within an inch of its knuckle when his aides explained what sort of dancing she did for a living" (146)
(E! Online) Unlikely LifeStyle Condoms offers Miley Cyrus $1 million to promote their product and safe sex - after marriage, of course (55)
(NYPost) Unlikely The Bush family will absolutely love Oliver Stone's new movie about George Jr.: "It's like the 'Godfather' story" (44)
(Now Magazine) Amusing "Blondie" singer Debbie Harry says she turned down a marriage proposal from an 8-year-old Anthony Kiedis. "I had to let him down gently" (19)
(Daily Stab) Obvious Simon Cowell splits with his girlfriend Terri Seymour becasue she's too insecure OR because he's too sluty - Bloody Awful (14)
(Yahoo) Stupid Broadway is out of ideas, too: Peter Pan prequel in the works (16)
(BBC) Interesting "I do think it was a mistake shoving all those Prince songs into the first Batman film," says Hans Zimmer. "I remember thinking at the time, 'Oooh, this is going to bite them' ... those songs really date the movie." (59)
(Variety) Cool Dave? Dave's not here, man: Cheech and Chong to reunite for first time in 25 years, for "What's that Smell?" comedy tour (44)
(Reuters) Cool "Foundation" movie being filmed. Hari Seldon predicted this thousands of years ago (58)
(AZCentral) Interesting Dan Quayle may be a contestant on the next season of "Dancing With The Stars." He's spending the summer practicing the Mashed Potatoe (59)
(MSNBC) Unlikely Dane Cook, an heir to Carlin's throne? (222)
(Wired) Obvious Apparently when Dr. Scully injects syringe full of pinkish goo labeled "Stem Cells" into dying child's brains during "X-Files 2," that wasn't exactly scientifically accurate. Not that you saw the flick anyway (79)
(BBC) Sad Countdown to the end of Countdown.. ? (this show is a British institution) (19)
(Telegraph) Scary Thanks to fame inflation, Warhol's 15 minutes is worth 15 months in today's celebrity market (9)
(IGN) Cool Star Trek: Online announced. A million rubber Spock ears perk up in anticipation (48)

Mon July 28, 2008
(Contact Music) Cool "24"'s Mary Lynn Rajskub achieves MILFery, after doctors deciphered "THERE'S NO MORE TIME" on the sonogram (42)
(Yahoo) Cool Here's the Annual Comic-Con Costume Slideshow. Starting with a hittable Mrs. Incredible (189)
(CBS New York) News Amy Winehouse rushed to her home away from home, better known to healthy people as "the hospital" (61)
(Contact Music) Ironic Alanis Morissette got over devastating breakup by having lots and lots of sex. Just thought you oughta know (78)
(Reuters) Sad Kelsey Grammer admitted to hospital with irregular heartbeats, probably from banging his hot wife (34)
(The Hollywood News) Obvious Mr. T pities the fool who only wants him for a cameo appearance in the "A-Team" movie (28)
(io9) Followup The real reason Whedon is re-shooting the "Dollhouse" pilot? Eliza Dushku wasn't wearing leather pants in the first draft. No, really (48)
(Gizmodo) Amusing Warner Bros. proud of strict measures that prevented "The Dark Knight" from being pirated... for 38 hours (64)
(New York Daily News) Amusing Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell expecting twins. O'Connell's made for Fark tagline: "trying to get pregnant 'a lot of fun for me.'" (32)
(E! Online) Stupid In the real world, Andy Dick would be in jail right now for his constant dickish behavior. In Hollywood, he gets paid to go on a TV rehab show (42)
(Contact Music) Sad Batman legend Julie Newmar suffering from incurable nerve disease: "If I'm out in public, I grab on to some charming, darling fellow who can steady me. I've been encouraged by the many men who have offered me their shoulders" (57)
(Some Guy) Followup Shia LaBoeuf recovering from "extensive hand surgery," leading one to wonder exactly what he was doing that caused the car accident he was in (34)
(E! Online) Obvious Shark spits Seacrest out (21)
(Starpulse) Hero Carmen Electra & Kim Kardashian brave the creepiness and sign autographs at Comic Con."Y-you l-l-look even m-m-more b-b-b-beautiful in p-person, Ms. Electra" (64)
(MSNBC) Interesting "Mad Men" is the best of summer TV, which gives you an idea of how bad television programming is (93)
(Contact Music) Unlikely From the "Blind Leading the Blind" Files: Paris Hilton claims that Good Charlotte's Benji Madden helped her grow up (23)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Prince Harry's phone stolen at party. When he was caught, thief told he should give a damn because Harry is a royal. In related news, we're struggling to understand why we should care (33)
(Spike) Amusing "If you've ever thought about cashing in with your own Will Ferrell vehicle, it's actually easier than you think." How to write one in eight easy steps (109)
(Food Network) Cool Old and busted: Feasting on Asphalt. New hotness: Feasting on Waves (50)
(Starpulse) Followup Sheryl Crow says that reports of her collaborating with Fleetwood Mac were just *ahem* rumours (33)
(Starpulse) Unlikely Tommy Lee wants Johnny Depp to play him in Motley Crue biopic. Unlikely tag lights its own fuse and asplodes (35)
(Metro) Scary Gordon F*cking Ramsey falls off a b*stard cliff and nearly f*cking drowns (39)
(Some Guy) Amusing Burger King marketing campaign 2007: "The Dark Whopper, inspired by Spider-man 3." Burger King marketing campaign 2008: "The Dark Whopper, inspired by The Dark Knight." Or, how to use the exact same TV ad twice (58)
(Now Magazine) Followup Denise Richards accuses Charlie Sheen of molesting their kids, takes the crown for world's most bitter celeb break-up from Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger (70)
(The Sun) Interesting Hannibal Lecter voted the greatest film villain. Anton Chigurh and the Joker demand a recount (95)
(Some Guy) Scary The very sacred movie cows being led wholesale to the remake slaughterhouse (33)
(Telegraph) Amusing Salman Rushdie is so irritating that his close protection team once locked him in a closet so they could go out for a pint (21)
(April Winchell) Scary While Madonna is looking like a piece of shoe leather chewed by a Labrador, we should be more worried about her daughter, Lourdes, who's sporting a unibrow and a moustache (pic) (157)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Neil Gaiman to write followup to "Batman RIP": "Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?" (42)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Interesting Tim Burton casts the title character in his "Alice in Wonderland" movie. Strangely enough, he didn't choose Johnny Depp (63)

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