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Sun June 08, 2008
(MSNBC) Obvious Warren G arrested for failing to regulate his pot smoking (39)
(Bitten and Bound) Interesting Hayden Panettiere wasn't picky when it came to perfecting her kissing technique. The 18-year-old gave boys and girls an equal opportunity (43)
(Some Guy) Obvious George Romero says there's no way zombies can run after you. "Their ankles would break. It doesn't make sense to me" (77)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Continuing his "Make Friends With Everyone" tour, actor Rupert Everett says British soldiers are wimps (14)
(Yahoo) Obvious Pandas mess with the Zohan, make more money (38)
(Boston Globe) Spiffy Car Talk stars Tom and Ray Magliozzi to star in their own cartoon (27)
(People Magazine) Followup Paris Hilton puts to rest pregnancy rumors by going out and partying. Because she's far too mature to party in a "delicate condition", right? Right? (38)
(Daily Mail) Strange BBC Radio 4's Book at Bedtime has been leaving listeners 'terrified and physically sick' (21)
(Metro) Sad Bob Anderson, who played the young George Bailey, dead at age 75. It was a wonderful life (12)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Cool Asteroids, Pong and Breakout to star in upcoming "Atari" movie, alongside Leonardo DeCaprio as Nolan Bushnell, Godfather of video game industry (32)
(Starpulse) Spiffy Marvin Gaye biopics to clash against each other: James Gandolfini's "Sexual Healing" and F. Gary Gray's "Marvin" now that music rights are finally settled. Either way, someone's going to get shot in the end (20)

Sat June 07, 2008
(TMZ) Followup Spike Lee responds to Clint Eastwood with grace and eloquence. Just kidding, he says "we're not on a plantation" (107)
(The Sun) Amusing Britney Spears goes for a ride in her boys' battery-powered Escalade. Still manages to rear end another car and get busted for driving without a license (21)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Is there something I should know? Simon Le Bon has a smoking hot 18-year-old daughter. All she wants is. Penis (66)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Matthew McConaughey's unborn child is already buff and looks ready to bust out of the womb any day now. Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh (16)
(Gawker) Spiffy "Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson" narrated by Johnny Depp to be released on July 4th. You can watch the mind-blowing trailer here (61)
(Some Guy) Amusing We all know Dane Cook is a douche, but did you ever stop to think about just WHY he's a douche? This guy did (82)
(Sporting News) Sad The definitive top-20 list of movies that make men cry like little beyotches (279)
(BBC) Cool Piano craze hits China where 30 million children are taking lessons. If only there was an easy piano piece that could help Asian children relate to the instrument. Pianist (97)
(NYmag) Amusing Lou Reed is a talented but surly man, so choose your questions very carefully (91)
(Wired) Interesting The Drive-in theater turns 75: Archaic entertainment destined for parking lots? (131)
(ScreenRant) Interesting Paramount likes the new Star Trek movie so much, they've already committed J.J. Abrams for a sequel (66)

Fri June 06, 2008
(Eonline.com) Unlikely Reporter believes that Adam Sandler's hilariously funny and absolutely not stupid, immature, "comedy" will rake in $35.5 million this weekend. Unlikely tag appreciates the fresh air (61)
(UPI) Obvious Jimmy Buffett still relishes coasting on his 70s hits (102)
(People Magazine) Interesting Recording industry honors Jewel for selling 18 million albums, having the best rack in the music business (104)
(Contact Music) Obvious Insurance companies are just a tad hesitant to cover cocaine vacuum Lindsay Lohan (50)
(Entertainment Weekly) Silly Sixteen horrible movie accents (in horrible slideshow format). Yes, there is Costner Hood (228)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Vin Diesel has become a dad. But the action star and model girlfriend Paloma Jimenez have kept the news quiet for two months (61)
(Bitten and Bound) Followup Wonder Woman star Lynda Carter is alive and well but unfortunately the body she discovered floating in the Potomac was not (81)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Paris Hilton not expecting Benji Madden's sprog but if she has a boy, no doubt he'll marry cousin Harlow (15)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Between paragraph one and paragraph three, Madonna adopts another child (17)
(ClusterStock) Followup What can't she do? Ed McMahon blames Britney Spears for being unable to sell his home (51)
(Guardian.com) Amusing Clint Eastwood responds to Spike Lee's comments and blows his head clean off (256)
(Reuters) Interesting New TV series by Diablo Cody about a chick with multiple personalities. Spielberg is involved, so it will be great up until the last 15 minutes, and then you'll hate it (79)
(St. Petersburg Times) Cool Big Lebowski documentary achieves. Well, that's like, your opinion, man (134)

Thu June 05, 2008
(CBC) Obvious The opus is unremarkable (92)
(AP) Spiffy Japanese game show host breaks Guinness record for being busiest TV host. An extra pair of tentacles can certainly help (23)
(Reuters) Interesting A plea goes out to have Roman Polanski's prison sentence revoked. Fark: plea is from the then 13 year-old victim (66)
(Denver Post) Obvious Shatner accidentally catches episode of old "Star Trek" while recovering from hip surgery. "I haven't seen myself playing Capt. Kirk in a long, long time ... and I thought, 'You know, that's rather good'" (114)
(MTV) Obvious "High School Musical" will end at No. 3 with the original cast, which is now getting old enough to play the school's hot student teachers (36)
(CHUD.com) Stupid Transformers 2: BOOM (167)
(CBS Salt Lake City) Dumbass "The objective of a new video game is to stop the spread of Christianity and Islam by brutally killing biblical prophets, says the game's atheist creator" (224)
(A Socialite's Life) Strange Heidi Montag -- a no-talent bottle blonde whose body serves as a silicone support device -- and her lunchmeat boyfriend made $3 million over the past two years for doing, well, nobody's quite sure what (75)
(People Magazine) Strange Stephanie from "Full House" lives out Bob Saget punchline (277)
(Some Guy) Obvious Entertainment Tonight shocked, SHOCKED, that someone would sell them false information about the birth of Angelina Jolie's twins. Vengeance will be served in the only way they know how: By running fake stories about the perpetrator (7)
(Orlando Sentinel) Interesting FHM Top 100 Sexiest Women vs. Maxim Hot 100 smackdown: An in-depth analysis (213)
(Globe and Mail) Cool If a television show about serial swingers wearing wet bikinis interests you, you're finally old enough to watch CBS (146)
(Metro) Amusing Anne Hathaway channels an Oompa Loompa. You'd still hit it (69)
(Dude, she's 15) Stupid Miley Cyrus dating 22-year-old backup singer. Yes, she's still 15 (962)
(Now Magazine) Silly Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood wants to hire dwarfs for his daughter's wedding to perform stunts like stealing ladies' hats (71)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Britney Spears has agreed to star in the new Pussycat Dolls single. Reports that she was lured by promises of Cheetos yet to be confirmed (20)
(Guardian.com) Interesting Newspaper apologises to Ozzy Osbourne for false story which caused him "considerable embarrassment". In other news, it's possible to embarrass an Osbourne (12)
(WTAM) Followup Anticipating his next soul-sucking, wallet-draining divorce, Charlie Sheen keeps budget low for wedding #3 (17)
(USA Today) Asinine "Writer's Strike I: The Beginning" was such a market success that its sequel, "Actors Strike, The Reckoning," may be released earlier than anticipated (148)
(Some Guy) Interesting "Call of Duty 4" sells 10 million copies on the promise that it will give Internet tough guys everywhere some modern combat experience (100)
(Entertainment Weekly) Spiffy Morgan Freeman and MATT DAMON to star in Clint Eastwood's film about the 1995 Rugby World Cup. MATT DAMON (50)
(Onion AV Club) Interesting John Larroquette admits he was paid with a joint for doing the narration for the original "Texas Chain Saw Massacre" and talks about how a car thief saved him from chopping off Vic Morrow's head (50)
(LA Times) Misc Chef Gordon Ramsay absent from his L.A. restaurant's opening night. Eating just isn't the same without someone calling you a PATHETIC FARKING DONKEY (36)

Wed June 04, 2008
(Some Guy) Cool Sopranos writer teams up with Martin Scorsese for HBO miniseries about the origins of Atlantic City (26)
(Livenews) Amusing K-Fed named Father Of The Year by reputable parental organization, Prive Nightclub Las Vegas (7)
(IGN) Spiffy Guitar Hero: Aerosmith preview and setlist. Bonus level unlocked if you complete the 'Methadone rehab clinic' mini-game and get Steven Tyler off the junk before the next gig (56)
(Sun Sentinel) Amusing 'Boondocks' creator Aaron McGruder to BET: %@*$% ^ & (59)
(The Superficial) Obvious If Joe Simpson hadn't already passed Joe Jackson for "creepiest entertainment dad ever", this should about do it (32)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Seven reasons "Blade Runner" was prophetic. Subby would like a word with the author about Reason 4 (75)
(Toronto Star) Sad No (106)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Asinine Director Brett Ratner wants to make the new Beverly Hills Cop movie "(for) 10-year-old kids, 12-year-old kids (who) don't really know the old 'Beverly Hills Cop.' So it's an opportunity to make it new for kids." (37)
(Daily Mail) Amusing 39 year old Gillian Anderson expecting her third child at almost 40. She will be 40 when the child is born. And just in case you forgot, she's very nearly 40 (72)
(iF Magazine) Asinine "The Andromeda Strain" screenwriter says his mini-series didn't really suck ... you just didn't get it. And you're also stupid (94)
(Fox News) Amusing Rosie O'Donnell: "The View" is like a women's prison film except without the hot, lesbian sex (27)
(Newsday) Interesting To promote "The Love Guru," NBC will air special featuring the best of Mike Myers on SNL. It's scheduled for 9 p.m. to 9:02 p.m., sandwiched between commercials for freecreditreport.com (84)
(Media Morgue) Asinine The Associated Press takes the time to report that absolutely nothing has happened on the set of the new Hanna Montana movie (19)
(Daily Stab) Spiffy Funnyman Seth Rogen's Superhero film 'The Green Hornet' gets the green light (52)
(Newsweek) Dumbass Newsweek explains that guys like Roger Ebert who attack "Sex & The City" movie are sexist jerks (133)
(Starpulse) Amusing Abu Ghraib receives death threats after trying to sell a sex tape he made with Britney Spears (23)
(Starpulse) Unlikely Adam Sandler's new movie, "You Don't Mess With The Zohan," is "Silly And Messy, But It Means Well." In related news, "Pearl Harbor" 'meant well' also (65)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Angelina Jolie: I kept those guns from Tomb Raider, and trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again (39)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Teenager who wrote her first book at age 14 tipped to become the next JK Rowling, only much, much hotter (457)
(Contact Music) Interesting Guy Ritchie contracted for Sherlock Holmes movies. Madonna contracted to STFU (14)
(Some Guy) Amusing London Times financial page runs list of top ten Star Wars collectibles. Your bent Wookie still not worth Bantha poodoo (63)
(Lancashire Evening Post) Interesting Take That are voted the greatest comeback of all time - ahead of John Travolta and a chocolate bar (21)
(USA Today) Obvious Headline: Sophia Loren, still joyful at 73. If by "joyful" you mean "hittable" (pic) (77)
(Some Guy) Silly NYC street artists give early review of M. Night Shyamalan's new movie (w/ pic) (33)
(CNN) Ironic Ed McMahon to lose house. If only there was a way to enter a contest and win $25 million (35)
(Kotaku) Weird Coldplay to contribute music for "Guitar Hero." In related news, don't miss the upcoming expansion pack featuring tracks by John Tesh, Yanni, and Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute (66)
(Independent) Unlikely There are "no more great writers" declares Nobel laureate you've never heard of (333)
(Reuters) Spiffy Bruce Willis in negotiations to play a death row inmate in "Kane & Lynch," a thriller based on a video game (25)
(NYPost) Cool I know what you're thinking: Are there 6 discs in this special DVD collectors box set, or 7? In all this excitement, I kind of lost track myself. Ask yourself one question: Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do ya? (27)

Tue June 03, 2008
(411mania.com) Amusing In order to clean up his flailing public image, Hulk Hogan recruits only the top A-list celebs for his new reality show. Just kidding, he scraped the bottom of the freakin' barrel, BROTHER (47)
(The New York Times) Sad "Oh, nooooo" Mr. Bill returns to TV...to pitch Mastercard (27)
(Some Guy) Silly Howard Stern and Rosie O'Donnell end long-time feud with hour-long chat, in which she reveals Matthew McConaughey sexually aroused her while slow-talking about how to make beer-can chicken (57)
(Entertainment Weekly) Silly How superhero flicks have ruined summer movie season, and destroyed once-glorious film-going events like "Armageddon" and "Mr. Mom" (61)
(CBS Austin) Spiffy Starfleet helmsmen often bond after years of steering the ship together: George Takei picks Chekov as best man for his wedding (47)
(Some Guy) Cool Calling all He-Man fans. "Grayskull: Masters of the Universe" first draft script review. Prepare for pure awesomeness. Or not (53)
(Yahoo) Amusing Eye bleach sales skyrocket as Kim Cattrall threatens to get naked on HBO again (68)
(Rolling Stone) Amusing Wu-Tang clan has a new chess game called: "Wu-chess." This marketing machine is in full effect, but it makes sense, considering that "The game of chess, is like a swordfight. You must think first, before you move" (36)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Obvious Who is "The Mole"? Better question: Who watched "The Mole"? (35)
(WSRZ.COM) Asinine Vince McMahon to give away $1 million of his own fortune to fans. Hey, if you can't give the fans quality entertainment, might as well give 'em your money (41)
(Bitten and Bound) Followup Sad, Sick and Unlikely: Nick Hogan to John Graziano: It's your own fault you're in a coma (96)
(USA Today) Interesting The five best movies about horse racing. Sorry, "Honeymoon in Vegas" and "Striking Distance" didn't make the list (53)
(News.com.au) Stupid Brigitte Bardot fined $24,000 for being a racist, not being hot anymore (39)
(Some Guy) Obvious "Emo is not a suicide cult" No, no it's not. It is however a cop-out for gender-confused males to wear make-up and put on girls jeans -- and it gives fat girls an "edge" over skinny blondes by dying their hair pink (137)
(Contact Music) Scary Kathleen Turner hitchhiked for breakfast. Judging by that pic of her, she probably also hitchhiked for lunch, dinner, supper, brunch, elevenses, afternoon tea, high tea, leftovers (27)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Angelina Jolie reportedly offered $15 million for pictures of her twins. We've all seen them already, toots (26)
(Metro) Spiffy Mark Wahlberg has five siblings he didn't know existed. Penis (26)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Followup Don't give up on "Spaceballs III: The Search for Spaceballs II" just yet: Mel Brooks debunks reports about Brooksfilms shutting down (51)
(Chicago Tribune) Hero Founder of famed Second City comedy house dies. Goodnight, improvisational man (22)
(Entertainment Weekly) Misc Ten hidden gems to discover on TV this summer... you know, as opposed to reading and going outside and stuff (48)
(BBC) Spiffy Paddington Bear has a new adventure with modern troubles -- like having his shopping cart towed away, dealing with tabloids and being grilled as an illegal, undocumented immigrant (8)
(Entertainment Weekly) Interesting Spoiler Wars: The battle is on between fans who want to know every tidbit they can and fans who believe ignorance is bliss. IT WAS EARTH ALL ALONG (81)
(The Sun) Amusing Doctor Ewww: 10th Doctor David Tennant is secretly sleeping with Georgia Moffett, who plays his daughter on "Doctor Who". The Sun, of course, is there (62)
(Bitten and Bound) Amusing Teen actress Hayden Panettiere wants to have a glass of wine legally NOW. Would someone please get that poor girl a drink (51)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Radical feminist calls Joss Whedon a rapist during a rant about how sexist "Firefly" is. Libel lawsuitilarity ensues in three... two... one... (248)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Silly Wacky twist ending of "Terminator 4" possibly revealed (SPOILER ALERT). It's a sled (54)
(Contact Music) Hero Christian Bale refuses to star in romantic comedies, would rather beat the stuffing out of people while wearing a superhero suit (92)
(Variety) Spiffy Jason Statham to lay down new rules in "Transporter 3" (37)
(TampaBays10.com) Dumbass Nick Hogan can't take his slap-on-the-wrist jail sentence, demands the Paris Hilton treatment. "Anything less would be uncivilized" (50)
(Some Guy) Amusing Sarah Jessica Parker not amused by websites claiming she looks like a horse, equines to comment (64)
(The Superficial) Cool Megan Fox would rather have sex than go outside, line forms to the right (75)
(Entertainment Weekly) Followup Harold Perrineau would like to clarify his remarks suggesting "Lost" producers don't care about black people. "I should probably think more before I say things" (34)
(Variety) Interesting "The Simpsons" negotiations are over: Cast now paid $400,000 an episode for upcoming 20th season. That's an unreasonable amount of "do" for a quickly eroding show that is now a Homer version of itself (100)

Mon June 02, 2008
(Kansas City) Spiffy WGN celebrates the lost art of the sitcom this week by showing 4 classic episodes of "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" tonight, with "Barney Miller", "Taxi", "WKRP" and "According to Jim" to follow (68)
(Daily Stab) Interesting Katie Holmes doesn't have any friends left, so when she goes to the salon she treats her 2 year old to pedicures and massages (43)
(NPR) Silly Mr. Spock: The 'Mystery of Masculinity' embodied. "He was just plain sexy, without even trying. Sex symbol, savant and occasional psychic: Spock is an icon for all times." (49)
(Starpulse) Stupid Sarah Jessica Parker stamped her hooves and bucked wildly after finding out the dress she wore to the "Sex and the City" premiere was worn twice before by other celebs (77)
(ABC News) Dumbass Club hoppers now slathering on Preparation H to give themselves that "ripped" look to impress the ladeez (503)
(Starpulse) Scary Kelsey Grammer suffers mild heart attack while swimming in Hawaii. He's in the hospital doing fine; smokin' hot gold-digger wife will have to wait longer to cash in though (53)
(Stuff) Interesting Movie wrecker and billionaire George Lucas' daughter is a MMA fighter. Dang, CGI can't help that (65)
(The New York Times) Interesting Portrait of M. Night Shyamalan, a Hollywood maverick not afraid to go his own way. Halfway through the article you know exactly how it's going to end (74)
(Reuters) Unlikely Renowned architect and civic planner Brad Pitt hired to design Dubai hotel (78)
(ABC News) Spiffy ABC's edgy reporting discovers that sharp knees are out and sammiches are in (90)
(Deceiver) Ironic Not even James Frey has this kind of chutzpah (14)
(Starpulse) Unlikely Kathleen Turner to Elizabeth Taylor: Suck it. (And by the looks of some of these pics, Kathleen Turner may indeed have something to suck now) (33)
(Livenews) Weird Tilda Swinton's creepy love triangle has become some kind of sordid sex trapezoid (70)
(Daily Mail) Obvious There's a reason why Kirstie Alley is no longer representing Jenny Craig. Actually, about 250 pounds of reasons (pics) (52)
(Some Guy) Amusing Lohan to launch new perfume. Finally, the smell of stale sweat, vodak, and Valtrex available to the common man (33)
(Boston Globe) Interesting Vinyl making a comeback. For young Farkers, vinyl is how music was played before CDs. For younger Farkers, CDs are how music was played before downloaded music. Now get off my lawn (141)
(Seattle Times) Obvious Indy loses box office champ title to his only weakness: verbose women (75)
(AP) Dumbass Seth Rogan and James Franco on "fake weed" gag: "WTF, MTV?" (40)
(MTV) Silly Wayne and Garth reunite for MTV Movie Awards; party time, excellent (w/video) (61)
(LA Times) Sad Memorial YouTube tour of some attractions burned down in Universal Studios inferno (20)
(The Sun) Amusing Gordon f***ing Ramsay gets his daughter to eat up her f***ing vegetables by telling her they make her boobies grow (24)
(The Scotsman) Obvious Real mystery about M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening": Why did the studio unexpectedly cancel director's press junket, and why won't they screen it for critics? (101)
(Movie City News) Interesting The "48 Hours" Diaries, by the screenwriter Larry Gross. Amongst many gems: Nick Nolte "goes and gets a large glass coffee mug and fills it with orange juice and vodka every ten minutes, but you barely notice it." (7)
(LA Times) Sad Star Trek loses another one ... Bob Justman gets permission to go to warp speed (22)
(NYPost) Interesting Tatum O'Neal busted for crack & coke (46)
(NJ.com) Sick 150 people walk out of a Uwe Boll 9/11 spoof 5 miles away from WTC. In other news, 150 people watched a Uwe Boll movie (55)

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