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Sun May 25, 2008
(My Fox Orlando) Florida Hogan Drives Best (15)
(AP) Obvious Indiana Jones breaks box office records, hip (43)
(Some Guy) Obvious Jack Black is so broke he's thinking about making "School of Rock 2." (44)
(Bitten and Bound) Followup Carrie Underwood has come a long way baby since her days on the farm and her "American Idol" audition tape (20)
(Wikipedia) Spiffy Twenty-five years ago today, "Return of the Jedi" was released. Relive your childhood to the right, please (89)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Woody Harrelson wants to stop eating for 40 days to see what happens. Um, well, you either die or you get really thin and people declare it a miracle and worship you as the new surfing Son of God (22)
(Some Guy) Obvious While filming in Wisconsin, Johnny Depp racks up a $5,000 bill at a local restaurant and doesn't even come close to leaving 15% gratuity (83)
(Guardian.com) Unlikely Some girl writes a book that starts off with way too much information and then goes downhill from there. So naturally it's a bestseller (28)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Guillermo Del Toro & Peter Jackson host Saturday online chat with fans to answer "Hobbit" questions. "We will utilize [Ian Holm] in some fashion for sure" (21)
(Daily Mail) Sad Madonna said to be returning to New York from London in "trial separation" from Guy Richie. London's loss is New York's loss (26)
(I-Mockery) Cool I-Mockery takes a look at Indiana Jones's ten finest character defining moments (41)
(Cracked) Interesting Five awesome movies ruined by last-minute changes (77)
(Some Guy) Followup Judge bars sketch artist from R. Kelly trial. According to the court, his renditions of the judge peeing on a 14-year old girl weren't "lifelike enough" (10)
(AP) Sad "Say goodnight, Dick" (174)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Jodie Foster ditches partner of 14 years for another lesbian, who may be Michael Jackson (37)

Sat May 24, 2008
(Some Guy) Strange After closely examining all ethnic candidates and Iranian model/actors, the producers of "Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time" have decided to give Jake Gyllenhaal the lead role (44)
(Some Guy) Amusing The 20 worst lyrics ever written (248)
(Yahoo) Interesting The voice actors union is about to find out what we already know. Don't screw Niko Bellic out of his dues (74)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Oversized cocktail rings are apparently this week's item to flaunt amongst female fashionistas. Submitter is still waiting for the beer camelback to gain popular acceptance (21)
(ABC News) Sad Abrakestabra (124)
(AP) Unlikely Because that "Monday Night Football" piece worked so well for his career, T.O. ready to take on more TV roles (11)
(Reuters) Silly Soviets outraged, OUTRAGED over the new Indy film's portrayal of the KGB (63)
(Reuters) Spiffy "Indiana Jones IV" on track to record biggest Memorial Day weekend box-office opening in U.S. history. Throw him the idol, he'll throw you the whip (142)
(Abc.net.au) Obvious Real archaeologists to Harrison Ford: you're doing it wrong, but thanks for the new recruits (173)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Interesting From a suit of iron to silk pajamas; Robert Downey, Jr. to possibly star in Hugh Hefner's biopic (22)
(LA Times) Silly Mel Brooks talks "Get Smart," and why CIA agents are still funny. "Is it right to shove water up a person's nostrils? Or maybe we shouldn't do it as much. Or maybe we should do half as much water up his nostrils?" (55)
(Ars Technica) Scary MPAA wins two more lawsuits against websites who linked to copyrighted movies, but did not host any material themselves. It's called contributory copyright infringement and only every search engine does it (19)
(TMZ) Dumbass Hulk Hogan tells Nick his crash victim pissed off God. Nick agrees as they plan his new reality show over the phone. TMZ tap is there(Not safe for work language) (96)

Fri May 23, 2008
(wsrz.com) Stupid A private villa, nine cars and a helicopter on standby. No, it's not a Mideast summit -- just the planning for the birth of Brad and Angelina's twins (13)
(YouTube) Hero In 1990 Oprah had Jello Biafra, Tipper Gore, Rabbi Abraham Cooper, Juan Williams, Ice-T and Nelson George to discuss the PMRC issue. Listen to Jello completely own Tipper on national TV (73)
(Some Guy) Scary Jenna Jameson, who is way younger than her face and duck lips suggest, is ready to become a walking baby factory. Oh yeah, this'll go well (87)
(Starpulse) Obvious Denise Richards gets text message that says, "I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you whore." In related news, her mom died of cancer in November. Stay classy, Charlie Sheen (71)
(Popcrunch) Amusing Scientology leaders have commanded John Travolta to recruit Miley Cyrus. Lord Xenu has just learned about Hannah Montana since his planet is two light years away and the TV signals are only now reaching him (104)
(Boston Herald) Obvious Critic's review of new Denise Richards TV show: "Denise Richards' life is one steaming pile of pig poop." Then it really gets bad (49)
(Onion AV Club) Sad I don't know Davey, I don't think your Dad is gonna like this (62)
(Some Guy) Interesting Eighty percent of Americans polled say media coverage of the Iraq War is "poor" or "fair." Only two percent say it's "excellent," while the remainder really thought David Archuleta was going to win (23)
(SLTrib) Spiffy Osmonds Jay, Jimmy, Merrill, Virl, Marie, Donny, Tom, Wayne, Alan, Jermaine and Tito celebrating 50 years in show business (20)
(Some Guy) Interesting Why rebooting your franchise means never having to say you're sorry (64)
(Now Magazine) Unlikely Madonna compares the difficulties of adopting David Banda with the trauma of childbirth (13)
(Independent) Cool Scarlett Johansson's album described as "the coolest movie/rock crossover album in the history of celebrity cash-ins" (105)
(Wikipedia) Sad Sci-fi author Robert Asprin dies, he will be mythed (71)
(Rotten Tomatoes) Unlikely Twenty sequels we're still waiting for ("Titanic 2" surprisingly absent) (151)

Thu May 22, 2008
(About.com) Sad Exit, Stage Left: Did your favorite show get cancelled? (178)
(Some Guy) Interesting "Rescue Me" has its fifth season delayed until 2009 by the writer's strike, so what will they do to keep fans' attention? Ten weekly five-minute-long "minisodes" that will start airing in June (25)
(WWTDD) Stupid In a clear instance of Oscarwhoring, Cameron Diaz stars in a movie about a mom who shaves her head to support her leukemia patient daughter. Problem - Diaz is using a bald cap. Shiat, Daniel Day-Lewis would've given himself leukemia (56)
(Huffington Post) Dumbass Abbie Hoffman, 1968: "Let's hold hands and levitate the Pentagon--it'll stop the war." John Cusack, 2008: "Let's film Hillary Duff stuffing a scorpion down her pants--it'll stop the war" (68)
(eBay) Spiffy Go whale watching with Hayden Panettiere. Mmmmm.... Whale watching (52)
(GrownManAgenda) Interesting Richard Dreyfuss set to play Vice President Dick Cheney in upcoming "W" movie directed by Oliver Stone (67)
(Variety) Spiffy 31.7 million people watched Dane Cook's cousin win "American Idol" (68)
(Deceiver) Silly When you're as hot as Denise Richards, you burn through a lot of cash (34)
(Some Guy) Obvious David Beckham caught scoping out some cheerleader ass again at last night's Lakers game (84)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Coleen McLoughlin: I hired a drag queen for my hen party (17)
(Starpulse) Interesting Yoko Ono wins court battle, blocking the release of John Lennon footage so future generations won't get the erroneous impression that John Lennon was some sort of naively idealistic, pot-smoking hippy (83)
(Starpulse) Obvious BMI honors Nickelback with three awards for outstanding suckage (76)
(Daily Mail) Scary Madonna and Sharon Stone pose together at Cannes to support their sponsor, Dow Chemical Industrial Makeup Inc. (pic) (52)
(People Magazine) Dumbass Now that we have a picture of the other woman, we can all join together in singing - to Shania Twain's soon-to-be ex-husband - a rousing chorus of "You're Doing It Wrong." (347)
(Starpulse) Unlikely Fran Drescher and Rosie O' Donnell are planning a new sitcom together. EVERYBODY PANIC (75)
(Lancashire Evening Post) Silly Music legend Phil Collins has found a pal in drumming monkey (24)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Robert Redford plans to marry at the age of 71. But at 52, his fiancee Sibylle Szaggars isn't exactly a trophy girlfriend (30)
(Livenews) Sick Gordon Ramsay eats contestant's thumb on Hell's Kitchen. Unimpressed - describes taste as 'weird' (40)
(News.com.au) Spiffy David wins 2008 American Idol in a landslide (78)
(CHUD) Cool You thought comic book crossovers were bad? Check out the plans for the Marvel movie crossovers (55)
(Topless Robot) Obvious 10 ways George Lucas can ruin Indiana Jones like he ruined Star Wars (107)

Wed May 21, 2008
(Yahoo) Amusing Richard Burton had no doubt that "God put me on this earth to raise hell" (33)
(TMZ) Sad Steven Tyler of Aerosmith falls off the wagon and straight into rehab. This time, at age 60, he's in the senior citizen wing (49)
(Digital Spy) Interesting Poll names reality TV as the second-worst idea ever, right behind the atomic bomb. Best idea ever: Tie between bacon and beer (52)
(JoBlo) Sad Now, there can be more than one. "Highlander" being remade. No, not 2, 3 or the others, the only one that was any good (89)
(MSNBC) Amusing If you can't sing, don't cover Heart. I'm looking at you, Fergie (115)
(Starpulse) Interesting Motley Crue, STP, Black Crowes, NKOTB, Police, Yes, Van Halen: Is there a purpose or a valid reason for all these bands to reform, aside for our money? (89)
(Gawker) Amusing The Olsen Twins are so skinny that their former barista would put whole milk in their coffee instead of skim. Sadly, it didn't work (pic) (61)
(WSRZ.COM) Amusing Kate Hudson dumps Owen Wilson, part one... suicide attempt. Kate Hudson dumps Owen Wilson, part two? Strip club. Hey, at least he got it right the second time (44)
(Some Guy) Obvious Turns out Jimmy Fallon got his "Late Night" gig because Lorne Michaels likes him and NBC owes Lorne Michaels. Gee, and we thought it was his talent (56)
(Reuters) Cool DreamWorks to resurrect Japanese thriller that will most likely contain a silent, creepy, wet Asian ghost (24)
(CBS News) Interesting Clint Eastwood quashes rumors of a forthcoming film, "Dirty Harry: Vengeance on a Rascal Scooter" (19)
(MSNBC) Amusing For the first time ever, Denise Richards denies a sperm request (23)
(AP) Followup Jurors watch the sex tape during the R. Kelly trial. Buncha perverts (44)
(New York Daily News) Silly Angelina Jolie shocks the world by wearing clothes (19)
(Now Magazine) Amusing Beyonce Knowles says she is too famous to go to church. Wouldn't get through the door with that big head anyway (44)
(ABC News) Unlikely Today's media fearmongering article: "Sex and the City turned me into a 14-year-old whore" (522)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Silly "Flash Gordon" rocketing back to big-screen. He'll save every one of us (66)
(The Sun) Spiffy It turns out Scary Spice is the BEST WIFE EVAR. Who knew? (14)
(moviemistakes.com) Amusing Mistakes in the Indiana Jones movies. Subby has no time for love... because he wastes it looking for stuff like this (69)
(Oprah.com) Interesting Oprah is going vegan for a three-week "cleanse," orders personal chef to stop making her normal bacon sandwiches on bacon bread served with a side of bacon-flavored bacon chips (45)
(WWTDD) Stupid In a amazing and startling revelation, Nick Hogan realizes he doesn't like prison that much... boo hoo. Penis (23)
(DFW Star-Telegram) Strange It's a good thing everyone was too distracted by Cuddy's dance to see who the bartender was in the last two episodes of "House" (53)
(Daily Stab) Obvious Ashton Kutcher's still trying to convince himself that marrying a woman 15 years his senior with three kids and a crazy ex-husband was a good idea (45)
(Some Guy) Misc King of the World James Cameron talks about technology behind his long-awaited directorial follow-up to "Titanic": "'Avatar' is the single most complex piece of filmmaking ever made" (81)
(News.com.au) Followup Dustin the Turkey flunks out of the Eurovision Song Contest. Even by Eurovision standards, he was crap (17)
(io9) Amusing How to deal with your boss, Star Trek style (15)
(Some Guy) Misc Christian Bale confirmed for "Terminator 4," "5" and "6." Come with him if you want to live (52)
(Telegraph) Unlikely Gwyneth Paltrow wants you to feel sorry for her (38)
(London Times) Amusing Spike Lee accuses Clint Eastwood of erasing black GIs from history. No word on Spike erasing the "evil white man" from his movies anytime soon (62)

Tue May 20, 2008
(Variety) Asinine The Simpsons may be delayed from the small screen as some key voice talents are holding out for a pay rise to $500,000 an episode. Why, you little -- (66)
(Reuters) Cool Critics pan Scarlett Johansson's voluptuous, full-figured and curvaceous CD (easily a C, probably a D cup) of Tom Waits covers (68)
(Bitten and Bound) Obvious Michael Jackson rumored to be the new headliner at the Vegas Hilton. Barry Manilow left behind his makeup bag because those spotlights can be hell on Jacko's mug (17)
(Bitten and Bound) Obvious Jessica Alba and Cash Warren quietly visited the Beverly Hills courthouse yesterday and got married. The soon to be parents are apparently the no frills type (36)
(Some Guy) Spiffy 54 memorable sci-fi robots. In memorable non-slideshow format, beedeebeedeebeep (76)
(BBC) Cool Fans everywhere rejoice at the news that Hugo award winner Steven Moffat will be taking over from Russel T. Davies as showrunner for "Doctor Who" (57)
(CNN) Amusing In an effort to examine gender bias in America, CNN explores why women don't win on "Dancing With the Stars." (37)
(Starpulse) Asinine Lil' Wayne may be in the upcoming "Fast and the Furious 4" In other news, IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY STOP MAKING THESE FARKING SEQUELS (32)
(Miami Herald) Florida Where have 'Seinfeld' characters gone? (51)
(Starpulse) Stupid Ali Lohan says stuff but no one listens so does it really matter? (21)
(Washington Post) Interesting Washington Post says current SNL cast is best since original and that the old hip boast that "I never watch 'Saturday Night Live' " seems like ancient history now (108)
(Starpulse) Silly Hayden Panettiere is tired of everyone focusing on her love life. In related news, Hayden Panettiere thinks everyone is focusing on her lovelife (78)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Silly Thank God the writer's strike is over: Fox picks up American version of Fark classic "Human Tetris" (34)
(Some Guy) Interesting Marston Hefner grew up next door to the Playboy mansion. His father is Hugh Hefner. Still, the kid had a fairly normal childhood. If you don't count that nude portrait of mom hanging in the library (41)
(Daily Stab) Scary Liv Tyler appears to be trying out for the role of one of Marilyn Manson's girlfriends (65)
(The New York Times) Obvious Amanda Congdon's got a new business venture going, but all the New York Times cares about is the puppies (37)
(De Welt) Sick Amy Winehouse has to pay a fine for being a disgusting cat-lady, or as we call it, the Winehouse Tax (32)
(Always Watching) Interesting The top 10 pre-death cinematic monologues (with videoclips and some not safe for work language) (88)
(Sci Fi) Spiffy Joss Whedon announces his sci-fi sing-along internet musical starring Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion is almost finished (57)

Mon May 19, 2008
(MSNBC) Obvious Lil' Ricky Schroder says his worst career mistake was trying to change his name to "Rick" (31)
(Yahoo) Spiffy "Gears of War 2" raising eyebrows for graphic violence, including chainsaw attack. Because the world has never before seen anything as violent as a chainsaw attack in a video game (73)
(Stuff) Spiffy Hear that, Snowy? Peter Jackson and Steven Spielberg to first alternate, then jointly direct the last chapter of the "Tintin" trilogy. Captain Haddock is opening another bottle of whisky to celebrate (43)
(NYPost) Interesting Actress who plays Cuddy on "House" trained with a professional for her striptease scene on the show. And if you haven't seen it, rush right now to YouTube (126)
(Fox News) Interesting With her teen brother is in jail and her parents divorcing because her dad slept with her best friend, Brooke Hogan may be the next talentless blonde celeb heading down the Britney/Lindsay/Paris road to skankitude (49)
(Some Guy) Cool The new Ricky Gervais' movie might have the greatest cast ever (60)
(The New York Times) Interesting The Sci-Fi Channel has become successful because it now has as much to do with science fiction as Paris Hilton does to Shakespeare (94)
(AP) Obvious So what happens when a televised singing competition focuses on selecting people who can actually sing? The ratings go down, of course. Sanjaya Malakar smirks (23)
(Now Magazine) Interesting Paris Hilton wants a Princess Diana-style wedding with Benji Madden. Bidding for wedding pictures starts at 50 cents (31)
(NYPost) Interesting The volatile and much-employed Keith Olbermann could be going off the edge yet again on another cable show (65)
(Telegraph) Amusing Brit analyzes "The Colbert Report" and is suprised to learn Americans understand funny (58)
(New York Daily News) Spiffy "24" will have a two hour season premiere on November 23. Fans still think two hours is NOT ENOUGH TIME (39)
(Wikipedia) Amusing Is "Speed Racer" this generation's "Ishtar"? (93)
(Guardian.com) Interesting "Americans can be blamed for many things, but the perpetuation of (Woody) Allen's zombie-like career is one atrocity for which we refuse to be held accountable" (34)
(Mollygood) Interesting Sponsor Lindsay Lohan's 22nd birthday party and she'll pose with your product. Which company would be most appropriate? VE (75)
(Some Guy) Interesting Fed up with 2008's blockbusters? Check out what's coming in summer 2009: "Transformers 2", "Star Trek 11", "Avatar" and a whole lot more (83)
(Some Guy) Misc The finest tyrants of the science fiction world (57)
(Telegraph) Interesting Kiera Knightley to play Shakespeare's most noble princess (51)
(Newsweek) Sad K-Fed's divorce attorney loves Britneymania: they're saving millions on private investigators because TMZ does it for free (11)
(AP) Spiffy Loni Anderson weds some folk singer you're never heard of. In other news, you'd still hit it (with pic) (51)
(AP) Asinine Kenny Chesney wins fourth Entertainer of the Year award; tells fans who voted for him to stick it (40)
(Newsweek) Weird Dear Penthouse Forum: I never thought this would happen to me, but I was checking out girls on the Christian dating site you own (17)
(Some Fry) Spiffy Bender's getting jiggy with it? The first review of the next Futurama DVD, The Beast With a Billion Backs (out in the US on June 24 ), has appeared online. And the reviewer liked it - a lot. Especially the copious amount of Amy cleavage (52)

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