Dennis Farina arrested going through LAX security with a loaded weapon. In related news did you know that the f*****g smog is the f*****g reason that Miami gets such f*****g beautiful sunsets?	(54)
		The best and worst cinematic moms. Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson	(28)
		The Dorian Gray gallery of "Then and Now" teen stars	(62)
(Some Guy)		Collectors scrambling as Mattel pulls new Heath Ledger "Joker" action figure because it's too freaky	(34)
		Shatner... interview... full of... win	(31)
		Only one of the four "Sex And The City" stars gets naked for the cameras in the upcoming movie	(77)
		Broadway performance of "The Little Mermaid" flounders after actor is injured in long fall just before show. Crowd steamed by 60-minnow delay; actor looking for a good sturgeon	(21)
(Some Guy)		Apprentice contestant told to expose his sausage to prove he is really Jewish after trying to purchase kosher chicken from a Muslim butcher	(32)
		A little present from the Schadenfreude Fairy: Tom Cruise's Nazi movie is Razzie-bait	(66)

		The Chicago Tribune takes a long, hard look at why seeing a flaccid penis in a movie make us laugh	(28)
		Speed Racer an even bigger bomb than predicted. He's a demon, and he's gonna be chasin' after... What Happens In Vegas??	(74)
		Five science fiction movies that get the science right. So they do pop out of the chest like that	(133)
		"Kids in the Hall" cast touring America for first time in six years with some new material. Excellent	(87)
(Some Guy)		Scientists say Paula Abdul trapped in parallel universe	(17)
		If the congregation will now turn to page 22, in the book of Sneeches, verse 2-4... author says Dr. Seuss infused Christian doctrine in his books	(20)
(FMQB)		Ten years after his death, lawsuit alleging L.A. Police involved in murder of Biggie Smalls can once again proceed. This should clear things right up	(24)
		Fans of "American Idol" cutie David Archuleta can relax now on news that his Svengalish father has been banned from rehearsals for being an overbearing control-freak asshat	(17)
		Forrest Gump's army tour of duty ends, and he's going to go back to acting	(22)
(Some Guy)		Comparison of upcoming Marvel vs. DC big-screen Hollywood adaptations. Ant-Man kicks sand in Green Lantern's face	(60)
(People Magazine)		Alanis Morissette opens up about hitting "rock bottom" after breaking up with fiance Ryan Reynolds, finally finding out what irony means	(29)
(Some Guy)		Hugh Hefner welcomes Miley Cyrus to Playboy when she's legal. Creepy half-naked bathrobe-wearing old man living down by the river approves	(36)
		Lucy Lawless Q&A on "Battlestar Galactica"	(27)
		Sienna Miller goes for the Kate Beckinsale "Underworld" look for "GI Joe" movie. Nice	(58)
		Colbert interviews an astronaut on the ISS. Nine minutes of pure WIN	(65)

		"Heroes" adds a new cast member who is super sexy and speedy too	(40)
		Ahh, the second Sunday in May. That time of year to tell mom how much she's ruined your life and how you want her to DIAF	(54)
		Eva Mendes decides the best way to reintroduce herself to the world following her rehab stint is to do a Vogue photo spread in which she's topless and sucking her own toes	(48)
(Some Guy)		Goofy short film that shows how to properly film action sequences on a shoestring budget	(26)
		Viggo Mortensen rumored to replace Kevin Costner as Lt. John Dunbar in "Dances With Wolves 2: Electric Boogaloo"	(50)
(Comingsoon.net)		Sequel to "Donnie Darko" to start filming later this month. Special edition DVD already planned to explain it to the simple minded	(112)
		Greatest. Press. Release. Ever. "Spaced" finally coming to the U.S	(63)
		After 16 seasons, won't someone please vote Jeff Probst off the damn island/continent/planet?	(51)
		Ashton Kutcher-Cameron Diaz movie gets a good review that actually includes the word "smart." It's as surprising as a toy poodle reciting Shakespeare	(30)
(A Remembrance)		Portrait of a brooding Heath Ledger painted shortly before his death wins Australia's top prize for portraiture	(40)
		Good: The director of "Pirates of the Caribbean" is to direct the film version of "Bioshock." Bad: The director of "Pirates of the Caribbean 3" is to direct the film version of "Bioshock"	(79)
		ABC extends "Lost" final seasons (yay) but "Lost" co-creator says he'll flee to an "undisclosed location" to hide from fans when series finale airs (uh-oh)	(94)
		Problem: You're an unsigned band and you can't afford any camera equipment to make your music video. Solution: Use Britain's network of CCTV cameras and the Freedom of Information act	(38)
		Sure to give you nightmares: Roseanne once propositioned George Clooney	(43)
		The six creepiest comic book characters of all time. Frank Miller underrepresented by this list	(73)

		50 most famous movie cars of all time. Arguing begins in 3... 2... 1	(131)
		"Seinfeld" evaluated 10 years later: What's the deal? Who are the ad wizards who came up with that sitcom?	(143)
		Jessica Alba competes in online staring contest. Yes, even watching her not blink is hot	(42)
		TRON to join cast of Heroes	(42)
		Study finds that people couldn't get their news strictly from "The Daily Show" otherwise they wouldn't get the jokes	(39)
		Quite a few major shows, including "American Idol", "Gray's Anatomy", and all 14 "CSI" shows, are experiencing serious declines in their ratings	(48)
(WFSB)		Teacher fired after appearance with her husband on Howard Stern show on satellite radio; a pay service that her students will never hear, unless of course their parents let them. Bababooey	(79)
		Alec Baldwin thinking about running for office, says he's always really admired Fred Thompson, Sonny Bono and that Gopher guy from "Love Boat." Still no cure for Alec Baldwin	(73)
(EarthTimes.org)		Comedy Central greenlights "The Gong Show" with Dave Attell	(82)
(FMQB)		Madonna's new album debuts at the top of the charts, with Def Leppard's latest close behind in the top five. No, this is not a repeat from 1986	(70)
		Chef Gordon Ramsay shocked -- SHOCKED -- by his son's profanity and his daughter's decision to become a topless model. Fark: they're 8 years old	(70)
		Paris Hilton reckons she'd be a great mum because she does such a good job at looking after her pets	(32)
(Some Guy)		Wheaton weighs in on J.J. Abrams' reinventing of "Star Trek." "I'm going to commit heresy right now and say what few people are willing to say out loud: most of the Star Trek movies are absolute garbage"	(182)
(Some Guy)		Michael Winslow would like to do another "Police Academy" film	(58)
		Test your book IQ: 40 totally evil literary questions and (thankfully) the answers	(32)
(just jared)		First look at Josh Brolin as George W. Bush in Oliver Stone's new biopic. Also stars Rob Corddry as Ari Fleischer and Thandie Newton as Condoleezza Rice. Wait... what?	(91)
(Cinematical)		Seven cinematic comebacks that didn't take	(23)
		Rapper DMX arrested up in here, up in here, after he was recorded by cameras at speeds up to 114 mph	(29)
		You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have ... Mrs. Garrett as a "cougar"?	(31)
		Bad Farking language has lost all its Farking power to shock - so who gives a Fark about swearing on T-farking-V?	(43)
		Britney Spears has been giving pregnant little sis Jamie Lynn advice on motherhood. What could possibly go wrong?	(94)
		I-Mockery's tribute to Toxic High School - an unsung novelty trading card set along the lines of Garbage Pail Kids	(6)

		Former Indy 500 champ Bobby Rahal reviews 'Speed Racer': "Only highlight for me was that there was nothing about NASCAR in it"	(38)
		Review: the Wachowski Bros' version of Speed Racer is "a noisy, overlong, mind-numbing extravaganza that seems tailor-made for nobody but themselves and their twisted sensibilities"	(133)
		"'Big Brother' with puppets" is the the worst idea that Fox's reality president say he's ever been pitched. The best is "Female Prisoner Beauty Pageant"	(26)
		Pamela Anderson has a garage sale where you could expect the usual useless junk such as a chain link bra, her underwear, and a life guard float that helps you run in slow motion	(13)
		Ratings for "Hannah Montana" falling as fast as that sheet fell off Miley Cyrus's shoulders	(68)
(Some Guy)		Clint Eastwood is bringing back Dirty Harry so that he can kill him off	(56)
		More proof of Hollywood's idea drought: director Adam McKay is planning a sequel to Will Ferrell's worst movie	(128)
(Queerty)		John Norris of MTV tries to get Madonna to admit she'll become eligible for AARP membership in a couple of months	(27)
(talent NETWORK NEWS)		Larry King out, Seacrest in?	(22)
		Liv Tyler is back on the market. Submitter puts on his wizard robe and hat	(57)
		The five worst Las Vegas movies of all time. Inspired, of course, by the recent Ashton Kutcher/Cameron Diaz pile of steaming crap, "What Happens In Vegas"	(56)
		Old and busted: free Dr. Pepper if "Chinese Democracy" is released in 2008. New hotness: free Stride Gum if StopUweBoll.com petition reaches a million by the 14th	(18)
		"The View" co-host bares her body in a revealing bikini for magazine cover. Relax everyone, it's Elisabeth Hasselbeck... you can breathe now	(65)
		Video games then: Pole Position. Video games now: pole dancing	(103)
		Ever wonder who "that guy" is in the movies you watch? Wonder no more	(139)
(Some Guy)		"Now I know that you have two things on your mind, the first is 'I have not heard him yet,' and the second is 'Why Wil Wheaton?'"	(17)
(The London Paper)		Yes, Natalie Imbruglia is insanely hot. No, getting a sex change will not make you look like her, even if you are her cousin	(32)
		It ends with the Ewoks: new "Star Wars" CGI film won't go beyond the death of Darth	(69)
(Escapist Magazine)		Uwe Boll, desperately searching for a reason that Bloodrayne failed miserably in cinemas and apparently never having heard of a mirror, sues Billy Zane for failing to promote it properly	(43)
		Rapper Common to join cast of new Terminator movie; film to feature new line, "Hasta la vista, beeyotch"	(47)
		Howard Stern is the king of all satellite radio, so when the Vulcans finally make first contact, the first thing they hear will be fart jokes while they look for our leader, Baba Booey	(72)
		"But it seems the vicar just thought Jemma was too hot and that her boobs were too big"	(112)
		A brick wall nearly toppled over in London last night - luckily, Kelly Osbourne was there to stop it	(127)
		That's a lot of dead hookers: Grand Theft Auto IV sells $500 million in its first week	(165)
		Tom Cruise finally figures out how to look taller than his stilettos-obsessed wife in front of the paparazzi	(52)
(Some guy down by the river)		Remember that time when the Chris Farley museum exhibit opened? That was awesome	(24)
(Some Guy)		The September 11 television archive. Pick an hour, pick a channel, watch it as it happened	(384)
		Isabella Rossellini singlehandedly re-enacts mating rituals of the dragonfly, spider, bee, praying mantis, worm, snail and housefly by getting it on with cardboard cut-outs	(14)
(Celebrity Crunch)		After fears that she may breed while in captivity, Amy Winehouse released back into the wild	(23)
		Sue Johanson will no longer be waving a rubber phallus at you on your TV	(53)

		Britney granted expanded visitation with kids. Kids expected to file appeal	(31)
		Student demands $11,000 from Lindsay Lohan for "borrowing" her mink coat and returning it stinking of cigarettes and booze	(32)
		Movie version of "Arrested Development" is probably in the works, according to actress who played Maeby. That’s like comparing apples and some fruit nobody’s ever heard of	(131)
(TV Squad)		Fans of "Reaper," a show popular among twentysomething stoners, might be getting cancelled - so the fans decide to show their support by mailing CW offices socks. Problem - they've been sending them to the wrong address	(73)
		For sale: The Batmobile from the 1989 movie version with Michael Keaton. A deal at only £250,000	(37)
		Forty-six percent of viewers say Katie Couric shouldn't be replaced as CBS news anchor. Other 54 percent said "The evening news? What the hell is that?"	(23)
(Media Morgue)		Matthew McConaughey is being considered for Captain America? Alright alright alright	(156)
		TV's worst dating shows ever. "Who Wants to Marry a Ten Thousandaire?" strangely absent	(44)
		"Your mission, Mr. Phelps, should you choose to accept it, is to convince everyone that making another 'Mission Impossible' movie with Tom Cruise makes any farking sense whatsoever"	(46)
		CBS stunt of switching writers for "CSI" and "Two and a Half Men" was a critical hit. No, not really	(85)
		Jury convicts Uma Thurman stalker	(40)
		ET got a big scoop last night when John Mayer characterized his hookup with Jen Aniston as a no-fault relationship	(78)
		Sir Cliff Richard was robbed of victory in the 1968 Eurovision Song Contest due to vote rigging... by General Franco's fascist regime	(23)
		Daniel Craig is afraid of losing too much weight while playing James Bond, proving once again that tomorrow never diets	(37)
		The 50 greatest commercial parodies ever made, with videos of each. And before you complain, YES, the SNL "Robot Insurance" one is near the top	(177)
		Ted Key passes at 95. Creator of "Hazel" and "Mr. Peabody and Sherman." It's a shame that there isn't some sort of machine that could've taken him back in time	(17)
		Amy Winehouse looking much better these days -- just hanging out at home and taking care of herself. She's really quite cute	(103)
		In a daring expose, The Daily Fail concludes celebrities are a bunch of hippy-crites when it comes to the environment	(12)
		Director denies "death" rumor of "Sex & the City" character in movie. That noise you're hearing is the sound of every man on the planet groaning that there's now NOTHING worthy about that movie	(25)
		Move afoot to get Wil Wheaton back into "Star Trek": Captain Wesley Crusher, Starfleet Investigative Services	(83)

(Some Guy)		Dina Lohan named "Mother of the Year" by Mingling Moms. Criteria included having a child arrested for DUI and rehab stays	(22)
		George Lucas on Indiana Jones: "He's a real guy. He's just like us." Assuming that we're all bullwhip-wielding archaeologists, yes, he's exactly like us	(220)
		Bravo convinces "Project Runway" producers to quit the show rather than do a version for Lifetime that nobody watches	(14)
		Clay Aiken: "I'm not trying to be Justin Timberlake," That's like a syphilis sore bragging about not being an herpes outbreak	(93)
		With Emilio Estevez nowhere in sight, 50 Cent goes repo man on a fan who stole his chain during a concert	(22)
		Scarlett "Brontosaurus Boobies" Johannson engaged to Ryan "Brontosaurus Boob" Reynolds	(100)
		Shia LaBeouf vows to keep himself from doing anything that would brand him as "the Al Capone of misdemeanors"	(22)
(I'm the God damn Batman)		"Sweeny Todd" wasn't Tim Burton's first foray into Broadway, presenting all that remains of "Batman: The Musical"	(18)
		Forget Batman versus the Joker. To hell with Iron Man versus the Dude Lebowski. A new epic conflict is on the horizon: Mischa Barton versus the paparazzo	(26)
		New Kids on the Block release first single in 14 years, "Get Off My Lawn"	(46)
		Michelle Ryan, who starred in "The Bionic Woman" -- a show that was such a bomb she'll probably never get another decent offer -- turns down Playboy	(69)
		Britney hosts Jamie Lynn's baby shower. Gifts include carton of smokes, cheetos, unused parenting guide and a fake British accent	(41)
		Selling photos of your newborn baby to the gossip magazines now so lucrative it's suprising Lindsay Lohan isn't massively knocked-up	(18)
		British churches call on "Dr Who" to save Jesus	(50)
		Gretchen Wilson finally has the education level of half of her fans	(183)
		Hasta la vista, R-rating	(64)
(GrownManAgenda)		Right off of successful weekend of "Iron Man," Marvel Studios announces its plans through 2011	(169)
(Some Guy)		Actor has real heart attack on stage at the part where his character has a heart attack. "It was almost like real life imitating art"	(52)
		Sarah Jessica Parker admits that she relies on a groomer to make her mane manageable	(39)
(Some Guy)		First look at new "Star Wars" video game, in which you finally get to play as Darth Vader and slice up a bunch of pansy Jedis	(90)
		The Bond movie curse continues after a technician working on the movie was stabbed with a steak knife in a domestic dispute	(7)
		For those of you playing along at home, it's never a good idea to follow in Amy Winehouse's footsteps. Bob Geldof's daughter Peaches learned that the hard way	(18)
		"Family Guy" creator signs $100 million deal with Fox to become highest paid writer/producer on television. Manatee assistants awarded with extra bucket of algae	(100)
		Girls, let's get butt naked and conduct: Ice-T to appear with Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra	(26)
		"Iron Man" turned golden over the weekend with $100 million debut	(118)
		There are about as many women in lead roles in this summer's blockbuster movies as there are at a Star Trek convention	(31)
		Sarah Silverman won't marry Jimmy Kimmel, claiming that their relationship is already perfect and giving herself the possible option of seeing Matt Damon on the side	(46)