Emma Watson turns 18 this week, has already developed a taste for exotic parties and unsuitable men. Hold on - it's gonna be a bumpy ride (pics)	(14)
(TheSequitur.com)		J.K. Rowling sues someone who loves "Harry Potter" a little too much	(25)
		Neil Patrick Harris is in serious CYA mode after his recent Britney bashing rant. The ensuing sh*t storm among CBS execs is powerful motivation	(38)
		"Clone Wars" trailer leaked, and it seems like it just might not suck	(88)
(Some E!)		Jodie Sweetin is the latest member of the MILF club	(65)
(Some Guy)		CBS & CNN think about swapping Katie Couric and Anderson Cooper	(46)
		Trekkie Connecticut state lawmakers have been gathering weekly since 1990s to discuss the Borg and meet people like Captain Janeway	(12)
		Middle America realizes belatedly that there is a thing called Mythbusters, and it is cool	(89)
		Worldwide children's TV star Postman Pat gets makeover, a change expected to be seen in Netherlands where he is known as "Pieter Post" and among Arabs in Iran as "Death To America Achmed" (pic)	(19)
		Al Pacino wondered why 44-year-old Helen Hunt had an obsessive crush on him until he realized his "88 Minutes" costar was actually 24-year-old Leelee Sobieski	(51)

		James Bond creator Ian Fleming had his own Moneypenny, license to kill	(11)
		Kurt Loder reviews the new Keanu Reeves movie. In other news, Kurt Loder is still alive and working for MTV	(21)
(Media Morgue)		Despite initial rumors, Rose McGowan is still Barbarella and the remake is still moving forward (with gratuitous pic)	(43)
		Katie Holmes finally realises marrying Tom Cruise was a really crappy idea	(51)
		Snoop Dogg to write children's literature, including such books as "Horton Hears a Snitch," "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Drive-By," and "The Emperor's New '64 Impala"	(26)
		Britney Spears' former manager: "She's in an amazing position for a comeback right now. She could end up being the biggest comeback in history." Unlikely tag sends best wishes to Dumbass tag while it recovers from an aneurysm	(42)
		Owner of mansion used by reality show starring hair-metal singer Bret Michaels is shocked and surprised that the place got trashed	(19)
(Some Guy)		Vanilla Ice released from jail without bond, talent	(18)
		Physicians were treated differently than non-physicians in the Britney Spears filegate incident. Why? Because they are better than you, Ms. DeVry Graduate. Now go change those bed pans	(18)
		The latest woman to join the MILF club: Elisabeth Rohm of "Law and Order"	(33)
		George Clooney gets touchy when you point out that he shills for various products overseas	(28)
		Apparently Alicia Keys is batshiat crazy	(277)
		Michael Bay and Eli Roth take a moment to respond to Uwe Boll's insults	(38)
		Apparently Rick Astley's new fame is due to "Family Guy", while his producer credits Rick's mad dancing skillz for the video's success	(72)
		Defamer's open letter to Paul Thomas Anderson on the craptacular DVD release of "There Will Be Blood" (not safe for work - there will be bad language)	(35)

(Some Guy)		Oprah loses No. 1 talk show status to Ellen because of Obama endorsement. Pregnant "man" story had no impact at all	(94)
(movieset.com)		Uwe Boll responds to the Stop Uwe Boll petition (Not safe for work language)	(114)
		So why hasn't YouTube killed Hollywood yet?	(75)
		Belly kicking interrupts Angelina's speech on education for Iraqis	(29)
		Tilda Swinton wants to be left to the birds when she dies. Although she talks turkey and acts like a loon, she doesn't chicken out from what she wants and that is something to crow about, even though that's a tough fate to swallow	(72)
		Caroline Pearce: British bobsleigher, Model and American Gladiator and oh so hittable. (w/pics)	(83)
(Some Guy)		Amy Winehouse now makes Calista Flockhart look fat	(93)
		Nicole Richie claims her 3-month-old baby can talk. First words: "Please eat something"	(30)
(HuffPo)		From the department of things you never, ever wanted to imagine, ever: Roseanne has traded her vagina in for a "va-junior"	(32)
		Conan O'Brien, after losing both the crazy priest and unmanly beard sporters demographics gets lower ratings than Craig Ferguson for the first time ever	(60)
		Massachusetts: We want to ban violent videogames, Stephen King: We need to ban negligent parents	(56)
(NME)		So, when do we get our free Dr. Pepper?	(69)
		Canadian sitcom Corner Gas to end after next season. Too bad since it bucks the trend of American sitcoms by actually being funny	(97)
(Some Guy)		If you work for JK Rowling, you might get the chance to cover her breast during a cleavage malfunction	(151)

		Hot farmgirl with cerebral palsy crowned Miss Iowa	(67)
(Some Baba Booey)		Artie Lange resigns and walks off the Howard Stern Show, meanwhile someone over there is still mining Fark for material without attribution. C'mon guys, one mention a week wouldn't kill you	(342)
(Premiere)		David Cronenberg reportedly brought his wife to the set of "A History of Violence" and had sex with her in front of the cast so they wouldn't feel so nervous about their own sex scenes	(58)
		Madonna-style adoptions create more orphans. Madonna-style births create Jesus	(23)
		Randi Rhodes out at Air America. 40% of America says "Randi who?" - 59% of America says "Air what?"	(98)
		Somehow George Takei singing country just didn't catch on	(27)
		Sam Kinison was killed 16 years ago today. Link goes to his (in)famous debut on Rodney Dangerfield's HBO "Young Comedians Special." Not safe for work without headphones	(157)
		Atlantic City set to ban smoking on casino floors, making the grannies and Jersey guidos even more cranky when you hit a hard 12 when the dealer has a bust card	(65)
		Kate Moss caught smuggling raisins through U.S. customs. The Sun is there (possibly not safe for work)	(61)
		Scene may be cut after "Dark Knight" screener audiences get squeamish about Heath Ledger's Joker hiding in a body bag	(123)
		Moby declares that he would wed Britney Spears without hesitation: "The fatter she gets, the weirder she gets, the more I love her"	(195)
		Kenny Baker, the actor who played R2-D2, is hospitalized with a mystery illness. That's why you let the wookiee win	(52)
		Stanley Kamel, the actor who plays psychiatrist Charles Kroger on "Monk," dies at 65. Here's what happened: a heart attack	(59)
		Woman raises twenty-seven kids, one grows up to be Chris Rock. With those odds, it was probably inevitable	(38)
		Dennis Quaid's reaction to filming a love scene with Sarah Jessica Parker just five minutes after meeting her? "WHOA."	(57)
		CNN asks the tough question: Are people ready for an emo Bond?	(135)
		Ashlee Simpson to marry Pete Wentz. Place your bets now as to when one of them comes down with cold feet or acid reflux disease	(31)
		William Wyler's son plans to remake "Ben Hur" in a way that "[brings] something new and contemporary to it in the same way that Gladiator did for that genre"	(26)
(TV Guide)		Writers of "Lost" in talks with ABC to produce an extra hour of the show this season, presumably because they can't cram all their incomprehensible plot holes into a mere five hours	(63)

(Some Douchenozzle Gossip Blogger)		Stacey Dash turns 42 today. Yes, the hottie from Clueless. 42. Today. And check out that booty on her. Wow. Possibly Not safe for work	(211)
		Jamie Lynn Spears 'fiance' pulls gun on photographer, does not squirt him	(30)
		Mike Myers to host MTV movie awards. Get ready for the same old "Scottish voice," "can't control the PITCH of my voice voice," and "naughty British school kid voice"	(45)
		Rumors of the Sean Penn and Robin Wright demise were greatly exaggerated. Petra Nemcova will just have to get over it	(10)
		One of the "Desperate Housewives" is going to pack up her things and leave Wisteria Lane (SPOILER ALERT)	(22)
		PETA spokesbimbo Jenna Jameson sure does love killing animals	(57)
		In a metaphor that was never more fitting, Rosie O'Donnell was the elephant to Elisabeth Hasselbeck's mouse	(24)
		George Clooney talks with British Prime Minister about the situation in Darfur, his nuanced role in "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes"	(15)
(A Socialite's Life)		Kirsten Dunst is out of rehab. Clearly it didn't make her cuter or put meat on her bones. With cruel paparazzi photo framing (pics)	(33)
(Some Guy)		Natalie Portman and Chewbacca: Together at last	(44)
		Tricia Helfer gets a TV series deal at Fox. Hopefully it will be a drama in which she stars as a plucky newcomer doing whatever she can to make it in the competitive bikini modeling industry	(28)
(Some Guy)		MTV censors Devo song title. Also suggests band is, in fact, through being cool	(48)
		Perez Hilton files libel lawsuit against fellow gossip blogger. Says his reputation has been ruined by false sex claims	(101)
(NYDailyNews)		Sarah Jessica Parker won’t eat next to her "Sex In The City" co-stars, preferring the pile of hay in the corner	(52)
		Today's sign of the apocalypse: "We are writing 'High School Musical 4'."	(119)
		Sony incorporates payola, rootkit scandals as "missions" in new video game follow-up to Guitar Hero & Rock Band (PS3 exclusive - obviously)	(39)
		Since the dawn of Saturday Night Live, male stars have gone on to movie fame while female stars haven't. Now, thanks to one movie, all that is about to...uh, continue, actually	(93)
(Cinematical)		Slate posts spoiler-rich script review of Oliver Stone's "W." Basically, the lead role is Oscar bait for those hungering to play a retard	(37)
		"Equus," the play you know nothing about other than that Daniel Radcliffe gets naked in it, will debut on Broadway September 5. Penis	(40)
		Pete Doherty’s 14 weeks jail sentence has him labeled as an idiot by fans, rest of world already well aware of that fact	(10)
		Kiss cancel their upcoming concert in Serbia because they are scared of being shot	(38)
		Rosie O'Donnell's kids aren't allowed to watch TV or use a computer. Apparrently she doesn't want them finding out what a douchebag mommy is	(56)
		Adam Carolla unicycles into the sunset after getting the DWTS boot. Dance partner Julianne Hough reportedly still living down her farting episode from Season 5	(20)
(Some Guy)		Mary Louise Parker ends engagement to "Weeds" costar because of "differing lifestyles"--meaning he's gay and was looking for a beard	(48)
(Some guy with a sammich)		Ten skinny-ass ladies who used to be hot	(90)
		Old and busted: Disney Animation Studios. New hotness: Disney Animation Studios...in farkin' 3-D. Bambi's coming right at us	(44)
		Shatner is still angry and confused why he's not part of new "Star Trek" but looks forward to increased sales of all those ghostwritten books. Dude, your character is DEAD	(49)
(WWTDD.com)		"[Paris Hilton] asked how much it was and said, 'If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?'"	(45)
		Release date for Tom Cruise's WWII film "Valkyrie" pushed back to February-- the month in which most studios release their worst films. You know who else liked to release films in February?	(65)

		American Idols, before and after pics. Apparently Carrot Top has a love child.(Pic. #5)	(43)
(Entertainment Wise)		Jamie Lee Curtis was not naked on that magazine cover... "What the 'f' are we talking about? In my world, this is called strapless"	(42)
		Lisa Marie Presley is looking more and more like her father at the apex of his banana/peanut-butter sandwich obsession	(57)
(Some Guy)		Pried from his cold dead hands. The bidding is now open for Charlton Heston's gun	(339)
		Radiohead touring to Vancouver	(45)
		"Robosapien" movie in works. Tickets will cost $100 each, and you will be bored with it after 20 minutes	(44)
(TMZ)		Toni Braxton: "Unbreak My Heart Attack"?	(22)
(Egotastic)		Jessica Simpson is a cheap webcam whore. But it's just for her husband, so that's okay (site advertisements probably not safe for work)	(35)
(Some Guy)		Bill Maher and guy who directed "Borat" take on the Lord God	(377)
(Celebitchy)		Rachel Dratch oblivious as to why she can't get a job since SNL. Luckily, Vanity Fair is there to give her a clue	(175)
(AllYourTV.com)		And since it involves Axl Rose, the reality show will take ten years to produce and cost $8 million	(32)
(GrownManAgenda)		Jay Z and Mary J. Blige gross $9 million on first eight dates of tour	(56)
		Former WWE star Andrew "Sobriety Test" Martin arrested for DUI	(41)
		Paris Hilton models her own line of clown shoes, scaring the heck out of the audience with her freakish size 11 and angry-looking bunions	(77)
		Sharon Stone recreates her famous open legged pose in Paris, only this time she is a little older. The Daily Mail is there	(45)
		Jessica Simpson tries to recreate a vintage photoshoot like Lindsay Lohan, ends up looking like a dog with rabies	(57)
		Can superheroes, sequels save summer box office? Sources say "no"	(63)
		"He always wore a cricket box, because you can tell a child 100 jokes but there is none as funny as punching a clown in the nuts"	(20)
		The show that was canceled and brought back and canceled again may be brought back again	(27)
		J. Lo asks Tom Cruise to be Xenu-father to her newborn twins	(36)
(Daily Star)		Amy Winehouse has a £400-a-day habit that is surprisingly not crack cocaine	(37)
		Senility setting in for Hefner as he sits and smiles to Pam Anderson dancing in her birthday suit to celebrate Heff's 82nd birthday	(32)
(Some Guy)		"The Simpsons", which we all know is totally inappropriate for children, is pulled from Venezuelan TV and replaced with the much more family-friendly "Baywatch: Hawaii"	(36)
		Fresh off the heels "JFK" and "Nixon", there now seems to be shocking revelations that Oliver Stone's script for "W" may be historically inaccurate	(124)
(Some Guy)		"Doctor Who" fans surprised by unexpected cameo from that one character who could never, ever return (spoilers)	(80)
		Rosie Perez says filming a sex scene with John Leguizamo was awkward since it sounded like the Crazy Frog being thrown into a bug zapper	(38)
(Some angry African)		Madonna claims Britney Spears is worse off than people starving in Africa. Flies seen buzzing around stupid tag	(41)

(Some inner city pressure Guy)		It's business time: Flight of the Conchords to tour next month. Somewhere Mel rejoices, and Murray keeps his job	(56)
		Seventeen gimmicky cameos intended to boost TV ratings. Somehow, the near-annual appearances of The Beach Boys on "Full House," in which the cast pretended they were the biggest band on Earth only made No. 2	(77)
		MSNBC ranks the top five actresses who look like they smell bad. It's not news, it's MSNBC	(59)
(Celebridiot)		Jenna Jameson selling her Lamborghini for $182,900 on Ebay. For an extra $250, they will even steam the sticky stuff out of the cup holders. (Work warning: Non-Jenna bikini pics on page)	(34)
		♫ Nessun dorma ... un dorma ... un dorma ... un dorma ... un dorma ... un dorma ... un dorma ...	(30)
(Some Guy)		Charlie Daniels upset that "Guitar Hero" is using The Devil to portray The Devil in his song about The Devil	(123)
		Frank Miller's "Robocop" comic book series prove without a doubt that he's been insane for many years	(46)
		Nice try, Queens of the Stone Age, but you are no Great White	(41)
		Ungbzgd dee Bob urmnGAHAFA ubboraha PuuYOOOlittSER, yeah	(110)
(Some Guy)		No one is buying crappy anti-war music, and it's the fault of "American Idol"	(86)
		Pregnant Jamie Lynn Spears celebrates her 17th birthday at Ruby Tuesday and Wal-Mart. Just like thousands of other teen mothers	(19)
		Slow nudes day... Woody Harrelson and Owen Wilson go skinnydipping (with bare bum pics)	(16)
(Some Juke Box Hero)		Certainly NOT feeling like the first time, new Foreigner tour is being sponsored by the AARP. No, really	(24)
		CBGB sanitized into a menswear boutique	(26)
(MediaWeek)		Fox to FCC: "You don't have the right to fine us for airing pixelated boobies." FCC to Fox: "See you in court"	(27)
(Softpedia)		Lindsay Lohan volunteers to strip naked for new movie instead of just appearing topless. Producers pass on the offer	(43)
(If It's Movies)		Huge batch of new "Iron Man" photos make their way online	(34)
(Wikipedia)		Today is Jackie Chan's birthday. Jackie celebrates by blowing out all 54 candles on his own, breaking three ribs	(31)
		X17Online apologizes to Tony Parker for claiming he was cheating on Eva Longoria	(8)
		Spice Girls deny concert DVD released. Tens of people reportedly heartbroken	(11)
(Some Guy)		Uwe Boll will stop making movies if the "Stop Dr. Uwe Boll" petition garners 1,000,000 signatures	(90)
		Jared Leto studying “Catcher In The Rye” to better portray killer David Chapman, still can’t figure out the meaning of the ducks	(91)
		You are the weakest link... now come and squeeze my boobies	(47)
		Paul McCartney is one smart man. Wanna piss off your disgruntled ex-wife? Throw a tribute in honor of your first wife	(66)
(Sunday Mirror)		Cameron Diaz -- who by her own admission is "boy crazy" -- has started dating Scottish and Spartan actor Gerard Butler, who will GIVE HER NOTHING	(85)
		John Lennon was once escorted by police from a drug dealer's house with an 11 pounds of marijuana in his pocket. How he fit that much in there along with Yoko's hands not explained	(48)
		They guy who created the original stormtrooper costumes is about to feel the Force of the Dark Side in court. Never before have the Hero and Dumbass tags vied for the same spot, until now	(61)
		Dane Cook, Dave Coulier, Jimmy Fallon and Paul Reiser. Ladies and gentlemen... the Final Four of the "Unfunniest Comic" bracket	(202)
(Some Guy)		Australian producers withdraw plagarism lawsuit against makers of "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" after admitting yeah, they probably both mined into the same vein of suck independently	(13)
		George Clooney was rubbed at gunpoint by kids holding AKs... but they didn't harm him because he's so awesome	(43)