The house always wins: "21" is the top box office draw this weekend	(7)
(ATG)		Shannon Doherty and Holly Marie Combs: Witches reunited	(24)
		Brit star Anna Friel reckons she's bushy-tailed and bright-eyed because she drinks dandelion and beetroot juice. Drop of beer might work even better	(11)
		Katherine Heigl diapers her dogs, thinks of them as her kids, and buys them $350 dog collars. Husband too	(20)
		Spy video of Sascha Baron Cohen as "Bruno" at the Wichita airport	(27)
(If It's Movies)		The new Jason Voorhees for the "Friday the 13th" remake has been revealed	(36)
(Some Guy)		Either Audrina Patridge really loves pork fried rice or she's an epic dumbass. Or both	(31)
		Toronto to open 45,900-square-foot "mega-sound stage" next week, challenging Vancouver as king of Hollywood production studios	(9)
		Journalist Dith Pran has finally joined the Killing Field	(83)
		The sum of all fears is that there is a red storm rising at Tom Clancy's house. Luckily he is not in clear and present danger	(21)
		Angelina Jolie has gestational diabetes. Wilford Brimley jumps into action	(109)
		"Grand Theft Auto IV" achievements leaked? (SPOILER ALERT)	(35)
		"Nature Boy" Ric Flair's last match is probably tonight at Wrestlemania against Shawn Michaels. To be the man, you gotta beat the man, or wait till he's so old that he can hardly stand up	(68)
		Why US version of Top Gear will suck and why Leno will not be hosting it. Written by Jay himself	(51)
		Luna Lovegood marries Rolf?? Who the heck is Rolf?	(37)
(nydailynews.com)		Sorry ladies, Brad Pitt is officially off the market	(54)
		Who is America's Worst Comedian? Not so fast, Pauly Shore	(162)

(Cinematical)		Well, he ruined one franchise of American mythos, why not another? Hayden Christensen could be Superman in the new "Justice League" movie	(57)
(Some Guy)		Judge awards partial custody of Superman to the descendents of Jerry Siegel. Clark Kent seen exclaiming, "You're not my real dad"	(21)
(Cinematical)		Sacha Baron Cohen claims his first oblivious interview victim for his new movie "Bruno". Said victim? Ben Affleck	(38)
		Madonna to remake "Casablanca"	(95)
		How silly can Hollywood get? Take this quiz	(14)
(Deadline Hollywood)		Yet another Hollywood anti-war movie, "Stop-Loss," fails at the box office, beaten by movies featuring gambling, a schizophrenic cartoon elephant, and a 200-year-old Leslie Nielsen	(91)
		"Bark like a dog" ... 10 reasons why "Coming To America" -- now 20 years old -- is Eddie Murphy's best flick	(101)
		New site is dedicated to giving Jay Leno the middle finger after Tonight Show host upset gays with Ryan Phillippe interview	(106)
		Tarzan chimp he 'Cheeta' turn 76, outlive Tarzan and Jane	(13)
		Sienna Miller escapes paparazzi by jumping in car full of strangers. Sound dangerous? Nah, they told her "we aren't murderers or anything." Whew	(24)
		Madonna on Britney: "Let's go save her." Humanity at large: "Zzzzzzzz..."	(28)
		NBC trying to screw 85-year-old Quincy, M.E. out of his money. Juror Number Five is still Angry	(42)

		Independent filmmaker and professional attention getter learns that despite catering to the lowest common denominator and leveling numerous ad hominem attacks at a world religion, nobody really seems to care what he thinks	(148)
(Egotastic!)		The Olsen Twins wearing bikinis. Plenty of cigarettes in sight, but not a single sammich, unfortunately (Ads NSFW)	(60)
		Mr. T pitied the child that went into a coma, cured him	(20)
		Teri Hatcher fears the European paparazzi. She obviously doesn't realize that they're trying to get a better look at an actual human with leather skin	(10)
(postchronicle.com)		George Clooney's girlfriend Sarah Larson is fun	(18)
		Britney Spears feels "more upbeat and energetic." How did she accomplish that? You don't want to know	(51)
		Sir Ian McKellen is still raising his hand and holdng it up with his other arm behind his head going. "oo, oo, pick me, oo, pick me, pick me" for the role of Gandalf in "The Hobbit"	(42)
		Mario denies rumors that he's dating his "Dancing With the Stars" partner, that the princess is in another castle	(13)
		Passenger does Kenan Thompson a solid and takes the rap for weed found in the SNL actor's car	(22)
		Kate Beckinsale swears off nude scenes because of her mom. Thanks a lot, Kate Beckinsale's mom	(23)
		Sacha Baron Cohen angers Kansans by "stripping down to tight shorts and dancing in the lobby of Wichita Airport"	(37)
		Miley Cyrus, star of "Hannah Montana," says her faith in Jesus is what keeps her from getting naked and hopped up on coke and screwing Wilmer Valderrama in an elevator at Chateau Marmont	(58)
		Anne Diamond, British TV personality and unintentionally hilarious video game reviewer extraordinaire	(23)
		Paula Abdul could appear on "Dancing With the Stars," which will temporarily be renamed "Stumbling and Slurring With the Stars" in her honor	(12)
(Some Guy)		Sarah Michelle Gellar reveals the moment she knew she made it as an actress, which has to do with Porn and 'Muffy the Vampire Layer'	(50)
		Tennis player Serena Williams to guest star on "The Game" playing the role of Woman with Gigantic Ass #1	(62)
		Gigantic stash of East German Stasi porn discovered, mainly featuring women who looked like Ray Nitschke. No pics, thankfully	(98)
(Some Guy)		Ontario Ombudsman to investigate town councillors' closed-door meeting in which it's alleged they got first crack at Elton John tickets. The Biatch Is Biack	(10)
		Teller loses bet with Penn Jillete, forfeits $5000, torso	(54)
		Rikki Rocket from Poison arrested on a felony fugitive sexual assault warrant	(65)
(Some Guy)		The new x-Files movie will have "lots of snow, running, a large syringe and a helicopter." So, basically its a steroid enhanced version of the Iditarod	(23)
		Amazingly, Fall Out Boy can't complete their record breaking 7 continent tour. Band utterly disappointed, world breathing sigh of relief	(81)
		Play splatters audience with fake blood (with WTF video)	(47)
		"Hi everybody, I'm Dr. Nick"	(38)
		Kate Bosworth says she was too tanked to remember her sex scene. Co-star says he was a total gentleman, insists the dutch rudder was added later with CGI	(56)
		"Major stars including James Dean, Clark Gable, Carole Lombard, Spencer Tracy and Will Rogers had high-profile films released after they died... yet none had the magnitude of a comic-book franchise with an illustrious 70-year history"	(13)
(denofgeek.com)		28 sequels later: more film followups on the way	(52)
		Sean Connery might consider playing a Bond villain, harassing Alex Trebek	(43)
		Dolph Lundgren directing and starring in new action film: "While the quality has been up and down, I think things are going a little better now that I am directing"	(35)
		Lindsay Lohan to play Manson Family member in new film. She's gonna have a hard time playing a confused, drugged-up skank with exceedingly poor taste in men and totally out of touch with reality, you know	(38)
(TV Squad)		Daytime Emmys add a "court TV shows" category. Wow	(11)

		If you thought nobody on Earth would be annoyed at seeing Christina Aguilera's newly enormous breasts, you'd be wrong. Bonus - "sexy noises after the dinner hour"	(85)
(Cinematical)		"Children of Men" to become a TV show, get cancelled by NBC after 2 episodes	(86)
(CityRag)		Brad Pitt is "the new Robert Redford." In that case, remember to moisturize, Brad	(35)
		L.A. Times, fooled by forged document, apologizes for implicating P. Puff Diddy (Daddy?) Combs in shooting of Tupak Shakur. Bonus: They refer to the time between 1994 and present as "12 years"	(110)
		Anything performed by Limp Bizkit gets the band listed No. 12 on list of 27 worst songs of the 90s	(231)
		Writers Guild of America to bestow David Chase a lifetime achievement award for writing during one hour ceremony scheduled to last 58 minutes	(23)
		Oprah Winfrey is the third antichrist	(49)
		Eddie Vedder sells guitar for charity. It's the one he used to write 'Love Boat Captain.' Gavin McLeod unavailable for comment	(49)
		That girl from American Idol with the large cans still isn't naked	(47)
		After 20 years of straight touring, Willie Nelson's lung collapses the minute he starts exercising	(51)
		Man Who Created Chicago Talk Radio -- Wally Phillps -- is Dead	(23)
		"X-Files" creators finally talk about their show's bizarre 9/11 connection	(65)
		How does Anna Kournikova stay uber hot? Black coffee and wine. No news on how Paris Hilton stays uber skanky	(35)
(Allie is Weird)		Tori Spelling how old are you? Clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop	(60)
(TMZ)		Richie Sambora's criminal charges could include child endangerment, co-writing "Born To Be My Baby"	(16)
		Austrian monks win recording contract with Universal Music via YouTube and a kickass a capella version of Deep Purple's "Smoke on the Water"	(15)
		Brit DJ, from his blog: "I took so many mushrooms that I thought the Albert Hall was being stolen by a giant crab". Difficulty: a Meat Loaf concert. Fark: Investigators read his blog. The Sun is there, and, like, totally orange	(39)
		That'll do, George. That'll do	(61)
		Because Britney Spears' guest spot on "How I Met Your Mother" boosted its ratings, Tina Fey wants her to appear on "30 Rock." It's only a matter of time before she appears on The Weather Channel and HeadOn commercials	(40)
		Oldest ever Japanese animated movies found, feature tentacle monsters wearing onions on their belts	(15)
(gunsnroses.com)		Axl Rose says he will share his Dr Pepper with Buckethead. Estimated production costs of album to rise from $13,000,000 to $13,000,001	(69)

		Britney Spears linked to rise of foreclosures. LEAVE BRITNEY A LOAN	(97)
(Some Guy)		Q. What cataclysm drove '80s movie master John Hughes out of Hollywood and stop made him giving interviews? A: "Curly Sue"	(37)
		Gene Wilder has a bar of soap with your name on it, you bastard son of a biatch	(37)
(NWI)		Salma Hayek will be in Chicago next week for Pampers, if you're into that sort of thing	(44)
		Richard Widmark will no longer yell at kids to get off his lawn with menacing glare and clipped speech	(29)
(Cinematical)		With all the classic episodes of "The Twilight Zone" that someone could adapt as a feature film, why the forgotten hour-long episode "Death Ship"?	(58)
		Oliver Stone set to begin production on George W. Bush movie. Film expected to be longer, even more insufferable than actual Bush presidency	(37)
(Some Guy)		Famous pop singer, Leonard Nimoy, turns 77 today. Happy Birthday, Mr. Music Man	(40)
		♫ Dropped in the cell, and you're to blame / You give booze a bad name / You weaved your car, and you downed a shot / You give booze, a bad name. ♫	(32)
		Robin Williams' wife files for divorce after 19 years of marriage. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT	(96)
		TV execs want to give Britney Spears her own show. Maybe something about a mother who loses her kids in a custody battle and spends each episode carrying out a hilarious plot full of pratfalls and antics to get them back?	(42)
		Victoria Beckham squeezes into tight pants, goes shopping. "But for the wrinkles at the knee and ankle, you would swear they had been painted on." The Daily Mail is there. (SFW pics)	(78)
		Monica Seles knocked out along with the talking guy from Penn and Teller, but Steve Guttenberg remains dancing	(46)
(The Futon Critic)		Jimmy Kimmel to celebrate 1,000 episodes by bumping "Nightline" report on collateralized debt obligations for 90 minutes of fart jokes	(14)
(Some Guy)		Twenty actors and actresses who turned down important or popular roles	(77)
		Good news, everybody: Bender (John DiMaggio) gave an interview to the BBC	(78)
		♫ If you wanna see my cooter / I'm givin' you the chance / Just pick up the new copy of Hustler / And see me with no pants ♫	(51)
		Amy Winehouse eats a kebab. The Sun is there	(33)
		What does Justin Timberlake have to do with sports? Absolutely nothing, which is why ESPN got him to host this year's ESPY Awards. Apparrently hack roast comedians like Jeffry Ross and Greg Giraldo were too busy	(20)
		Larry King voted "least sexy." When reached for comment, King said, "Cheetos give me gas"	(63)
		Dancing with the Stars celeb Priscilla Presley is a real Joker. No, seriously	(24)
		SUPER NERD ALERT: Tonight's "South Park" reported to be homage to "Heavy Metal." Lochnars and valkyrie boobs for everyone	(111)
		Breaking from her normal routine, Carla Bruni is fully clothed for her meeting with Queen E	(14)
(Some Guy)		Ian McKellen talks to himself while thinking about how he'll play Gandalf again, if the studio doesn't act like he's selling buttons at the door	(32)
(Some Guy)		Why is Pricilla Presley's face so weird-looking? She had injections of "industrial, low-grade silicone similar to what's used to lubricate auto parts in Argentina"	(27)
		Company buys rights to distribute IMAX films on cell phones. Taking a movie that shows on a 50 foot by 70 foot screen and squeezing it into the size of a postage stamp earns this company the Dumbass tag	(44)
(Some Guy)		Not willing to wait for more "X-Men" movies, Hugh Jackman writes his own comic book to hopefully adapt to the big screen one day	(25)

		Ryan Phillipe doesn't want to be known as a "pretty boy." Would rather be known as the only guy in the world who was legally obligated to nail Reese Witherspoon	(48)
		The producers of the G.I. Joe movie are trying to find a way to shoehorn the phrase, "Now you know, and knowing is half the battle" into the film. So now you know... and knowing is half the battle	(54)
		Jamie Lynn Spears is engaged. Look like they gon' be a shotgun weddin' after all	(40)
		New video game based on McCartney divorce gives you points for throwing water on opposing lawyers	(16)
		Ryan Seacrest makes $12.5 million hosting American Idol, has a $21 million deal with E and is nationally syndicating his radio show. Hey, how's Dunkleman doing?	(41)
(joblo.com)		Who gives a crap? Star Wars fanboys upset over re-editing of "Fanboys," a movie about Star Wars fans seeing "The Phantom Menace." Why you will click the link: Pic of Kristin Bell in Princess Leia gold bikini	(32)
		Hold on to your nuts: "Jericho" may still have some life left in it	(46)
		George Lucas himself warns Indiana Jones fans to brace for sequel suckage	(83)
(CHUD.com)		Not news: In "Crank 2," the Triads are the bad guys again. News: In "Crank 2," Jason Statham humps an old lady. Fark: They okayed a "Crank 2"	(75)
		She's just 14, but Alison Lohan has already had her lips done. Can coke binges and cooter-flashing be far behind?	(116)
(Some Guy)		Renee Zellweger shines on the red carpet (literally) after make-up malfunction	(76)
		Obvious: Demi Moore enjoys being covered in blood-sucking leeches. Weird: Real leeches	(31)
		Although they already have Lou Dobbs, CNN plans to air a new half-hour comedy news show	(40)
		Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart will soon be walking down the aisle at the Temple of Doom	(64)
(WWTTD.com)		Actor Simon Pegg: "The truth is actors are flaky, unreliable and mostly unstable people, and they need to be mollycoddled at all times.” Well said, Simon, even if it did include the phrase "mollycoddled"	(48)
		Pamela Anderson's marriage to Douchebag No. 3 annulled	(32)
(TV Guide)		Characters in new comedy by "Gilmore Girls" creator can't talk fast enough not to get cancelled after only three episodes	(53)
(Some Guy)		"The secret to staying on 'American Idol' is not talent, or looks... but keeping your mouth shut, smiling and saying nothing"	(30)
		Russian ballet retires its longest serving... donkey?	(10)
		Disney cartoons all contain subliminal messages from... Al Gore?	(28)
		McCartney fans say his latest album contains hidden jibes at Heather Mills, because "Mister Bellamy" is an anagram of "Mills Betray Me." In other news, Sir Paul McCartney is an anagram of "Crispy Anal Rectum"	(47)
		TV cars we'd like to take for a spin. Difficulty: Includes the Mystery Machine, which probably smells like stale bongwater and wet dog	(127)

(Some Guy)		Ten television shows that changed the world	(106)
(Some Guy)		Creepy dude from "Heroes" in talks to play Alfred the butler in that live-action "Justice League" movie that will never be made	(30)
		The enduring effect of Long Duk Dong: "Every single Asian dude who went to high school or junior high during the era of John Hughes movies was called 'Donger'"	(36)
		Heather Mills is planning a series of children's books. No word if they'll be about one-legged pirates digging for gold	(27)
(iF Magazine)		Fox gives TV's "Prison Break" a fourth season. Apparently America's love of men behind bars knows no end	(50)
(Daily Mail)		Another day, another well-past-her-expiration-date celebrity in public wearing nothing but a towel	(66)
		Top 12 movie Jesi	(198)
(Mollygood)		Kevin Federline's such an excellent rapper, he's booed off the stage at his own 30th birthday party (with video)	(59)
(NY Times)		Slow news day: The New York Times discovers the Rickroll	(168)
		Hawk-nosed glamour model Jordan buys a new new face, smaller boobs and now wants to be called Mrs Andre. Absolutely not having an identity crisis	(35)
		TVs 14 most memorable therapists. Its almost like some show is coming to a close	(35)
		To shed its sedate image, Animal Planet to target "edgier" fare such as tagging along with whale-hugging environmental nutbars and airing shows such as "The Antelope Always Loses" and "Kill, Blood, Kill"	(107)
		Entertainment Weekly's 25 most shameless paycheck roles of all time (with shameless slideshow presentation)	(131)
(SunJournal.com)		Who continues to be on first. Wait... what? No, who	(15)
(Some Guy)		"Doonesbury" takes three-month hiatus. Fortunately, "Cathy" to continue her usual insightful political commentary this election year	(60)
(Some Guy)		Thirty-eight planned movie remakes you never wanted to know about. Dear God... they're remaking "Footloose"	(127)
		I-Mockery's "Marshmallow Peeps in Outer Space" 2-in-1 flash game	(8)