Halle Berry gives birth and joins the MILF brigade	(15)
(io9)		Bad physics in movies. Worst offender is the Star Wars movies, which ignore basic laws of physics as much as viewers try to ignore Jar-Jar Binks	(58)
		Laurie Dhue Leaves FNC, micro-miniskirts, behind for unknown future	(20)
		Not News: Religious groups seek to shut down cartoon channel over "pro-gay" and "anti-religious" shows. News: Channel responds that "We live in a fully secular, not puritan state. Suck it." Fark: Russia	(89)
		Kate Bosworth suffers a devastating quarter-century crisis: "And all of a sudden, you hit 25, and people say, 'Oh, right, uh, OK.' And you're like, 'Uh, what do you mean?' Beep beep beep"	(47)
		Tori Spelling claims she was cut out of 'Scary Movie 2' because she refused to go topless	(33)
		Britney Spears and Mel Gibson have dinner together. Psych ward employees wait outside just in case	(25)
		Forget all the talk of bankruptcy and foreclosing Neverland; Michael Jackson is planning the comeback to end all comebacks. If he can get his nose on straight, that is	(19)
(SFFMedia.com)		If they told you what M. Night Shyamalan's new movie "The Happening" was really about, you won't want to see it	(142)
		Madonna's career has sunk so far that now she's writing commercial jingles	(32)
(Some Guy)		The stories behind your favorite cereal mascots	(55)
(Some Guy)		Frank Darabont talks about why "The Mist" is in black-and-white on DVD, and how long until "The Long Walk" runs up	(48)
		Keith Richards rates Amy Winehouse five crackwhore diamonds. Laments her loss	(9)
(Some Guy)		The hooker who slept with Eliot Spitzer also dressed up as a cheerleader for a wild threesome with actor Charlie Sheen	(66)
		"Age has been kind to Lord Lloyd-Webber. He seems to have looked the same for years, sitting at a piano in his trademark leather jacket. Like his musicals, strangely timeless"	(25)
(Some Guy)		Simon Pegg rates various "Star Trek" series, from best to worst. Voyager edges out DS9 because of the hot Borg chick	(96)
		When your marriage to the world's most successful female singer is on the rocks do you C) buy an expensive pub with your mates	(39)

(Some Guy)		It's official. The American version of Top Gear is going to suck	(61)
		With the 40th anniversary of "Easy Rider" getting closer and closer, Dennis Hopper wants to set the record straight on who made the movie and what actually happened during production	(26)
		♫ Bo bo Bo Bice ♫ He's gonna be a dad twice ♫ Me mi mo mice ♫ BO BICE ♫	(8)
(Press of A.C. reviews Lewis Black)		"For $5,000, here's how it should go: Hooker comes. They have sex. Hooker leaves. Then a home-entertainment center arrives"	(41)
(Page Six)		Tori Spelling wants to play a MILF in a new teen drama	(40)
		The deviants who brought you "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" have a high-concept intergalactic comedy series in the works	(34)
		Looking to give your St. Patrick's Day a rockin' kick? Get a free downloadable Dropkick Murphys track pack for "Guitar Hero III," courtesy of Activision	(18)
		Comedian Jim Carrey has discovered the secret of treating depression after watching The Mask, Dumb And Dumber and Liar, Liar back to back	(36)
		George Lucas debuts sequence from new animated "Star Wars" film, is afraid the money-making shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive	(34)
		Harlan Ellison gives interview to Salon.com, criticizes WGA, sues submitter	(25)
		Wrestling exec Vince McMahon on receiving a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame: "I'm the biggest star of all time." Andre the Giant conveniently unavailable for comment	(53)
		Mike Myers' new film "The Love Guru" receives bad karma from Hindus	(34)
		"90210" actress Gabrielle Carteris sues filmmakers after a scene of her gagging and choking left her with permanent nerve damage. In other news, Peter North and Ron Jeremy were seen whistling and quickly walking away, hands in pockets	(28)
		Raise your Van Morrison with Lou Reed: "Do you have to say it differently, like 'Howdy?' Shove it in a cow." -- Stars get grouchy over your cell phone trifecta?	(12)
		After being released from The Jail after serving The Shortened Sentence, The Game faces The New Civil Suit over The Assault in The School Zone	(25)

		The AV Club launches another new feature. This one is called "I watched this on purpose." First up "Hitman"	(29)
		UCLA Medical Hospital to fire 13 employees, discipline 12 others for snooping into Britney Spears' medical and psychological records. Should just knowing that information be punishment enough?	(24)
		Disney's G-rated "College Road Trip" starring Martin Lawrence and Raven-Symone gets slammed in reviews. Binge-drinking fratboys plan nationwide protest over movie's grossly inaccurate depiction of a college road trip	(25)
		Director David Lynch gives $1 million to fund scholarship for students who want to study meditation, midgets who talk backwards	(36)
		When it's time to party, Kate Bosworth always parties hard	(22)
		Scary Spice might not be the best mom, but she loves to party and still looks good in a bikini	(37)
(TMZ)		This week's "Who the Hell is That?", brought to you by TMZ	(19)
(OK)		Mary Ann clears the air regarding her pot bust	(32)
		Heather Mills to get around $50 million per leg in divorce settlement from Paul McCartney	(111)
		Now that she's worn out, drug addled and weather beaten, Paula Abdul wants to start a family. On behalf of America, good luck with that	(22)
		Why did it take Portishead ten years to release new album? They were napping	(69)
		Robocop latest movie to be "re-imagined" by Hollywood. Submitted can't decide whether to use "I like it," or "I'd buy that for a dollar," for witty headline, so uses both	(96)
(Some Guy)		The 15 hottest dads on TV include an ex heroin junkie, a guy who killed his wife, and, most offensively, someone from "Private Practice"	(36)
		Haven't had a Tom Cruise / Scientology trainwreck video in awhile... oh wait here's one	(268)
		Richard Gere cleared of obscenity, gerbil	(42)
		Dennis Quaid insists that medical mistakes kills more people than breast cancer and Jerry Lee Lewis combined	(49)
		Mena Suvari has an "edgy" new look, which is apparently a cross between Bingo Queen and Retro Shower Curtain. God only knows why, but The Sun is there	(43)
(Some Guy)		The funniest sounds ever captured on video -- a French paparazzo getting beat up by Nicole Kidman's bodyguard(NSFW language)	(66)
		Britney has a Kabbalah healing tattoo removed, so that fad is over	(25)
		Finally, this all makes sense -- Mariah Carey is reportedly a coke fiend	(33)
		K-Fed's got the best gig in town. He's being paid $175K to host his own 30th birthday bash at Pure Nightclub	(21)
		It's a sad day in music when Ticketmaster is seen as the rebel	(27)
		Snoop Dogg to act in and remix theme of ABC soap, "One Life to Livizzle." "I've been a fan since I was a baby"	(22)
		Iron Maiden frontman Bruce Dickinson co-wrote horror movie that will debut at the Cannes Film Festival. Eddie the Head unavailable for comment	(48)
		Dog fired from play after it keeps upstaging the human actors	(14)
		You've got big dreams. You want fame. Well, fame costs, and right here is where you start paying... in unnecessary remakes	(18)
(Empire)		That Hulk vs Abomination encounter from the end of the new movie trailer? Yeah, that's a 26-minute fight scene	(102)

(Some Lohan)		Lindsay Lohan banned from lesbians, caught sitting at home eating pie to drown her sorrows	(25)
		For about nine Kristens, you can have a Scarlett	(22)
		That news about Britney Spears performing in Dubai for $4 million? Well, not so much	(7)
		Jackass Star Steve-O on suicide watch...wait, haven't we been watching him try to kill himself for years?	(64)
		Neverland saved. EVERYBOY PANIC	(15)
(Some Guy)		Good news: Rachel Ray's daytime TV show may be cancelled. Bad news: Timeslot to be filled by an Osmond	(47)
		Worst Scottish accent in movie history? There can be only one	(62)
(SYFY Portal)		This year's feel-good story in TV is "Jericho," which was brought back from cancellation by its loyal fans, who then greeted its new season by treating it like it was a flaming vial of Ebola virus	(66)
(orato.com)		His skills as an exotic dancer in a gay club weren't quite enough to keep him around: Here's what "American Idol" loser David Hernandez has to say about the show, the morning after	(11)
(The View)		Barbara Walters to Kim Kardashian: Why are you famous? Hero tag for the question, the rest is all fail	(62)
		Guy who plays Barack Obama on "MadTV" is better than the one who does it for "SNL," thrilling the scores of shut-ins and mental patients who watch "MadTV"	(52)
		Britney Spears to earn $4 million to lip-synch one song for a group of rich sheikhs in Dubai	(58)
(efluxmedia.com)		Patrick Swayze's mother says, "He doesn’t deserve it," unlike other cancer patients who do deserve it	(76)
		With the release of "SSBB," Reuters has undertaken to explain the premise of the 10-year-old franchise to the lawn crowd. Starts with hypothetical fights involving the Bionic Man, and gets worse	(98)
		If you spotted someone with talent on "American Idol," it’s Bob Dylan in disguise	(41)
(Some Guy)		Harry Connick Jr. submits wrong set list to Chinese officals, is forced to play solo while his band sits there and watches. Band member who picked up cornet was run over by a tank	(95)
		Dana Delany turns a very hittable 52 today	(79)
		SNL will suck after all: Mariah Carey to lipsynch for Janet Jackson	(34)
(Some Guy)		Botox turning Nicole Kidman into Bat Face, mother of Bat Boy, according to expert. Includes uncanny pics proving his seemingly outrageous assertions	(184)
(Some Guy)		Hollywood's 10 biggest sluts. Fark: Chachi makes the list (NSFW)	(48)
(AccountancyAge)		I don't f*cking care what your f*cking ledger says. I don't owe f*cking sh*t, you bastard. Chef Gordon Ramsay has a few accounting problems	(36)
		Michael Bay developing "Rosemary's Baby" remake. Devil baby to blow up real good	(45)
		Woman shows boyfriend who's The Boss by stabbing him to death because he hates Springsteen	(62)
(Cinematical)		Edward Norton not like how Marvel edit "The Incredible Hulk." Edward Norton hate creative differences. Marvel make Edward Norton angry. EDWARD NORTON SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH	(68)
		First trailer for "The Incredible Hulk." Thankfully no sign of Nick Nolte	(104)

		Sean "Diddy" Combs to launch car service for drunk stars, Lindsay Lohan	(27)
(Some Guy)		Britney gets smacked in face with pole. A metal one this time	(36)
		Did you want two movies of people doing nothing in a tent? Well you're in luck. The last Harry Potter film will be split in two	(58)
		Corey Feldman wants you to know his eyebrows are bushy and crazy, his headband is on and Corey Haim is still stuck under his shoe	(26)
		Sean Connery penis autobiography	(32)
(HULU)		Thanks to NBC and Fox, "The Big Lebowski" and "Welcome Back, Kotter" can now be seen on the Internets for free	(68)
		Five ways to improve "24" this upcoming season. This article overlooks the simple concept of GIVING THE WRITERS MORE TIME	(44)
(Some Guy)		Lindsay Lohan wants her new album to sound similar to Rihanna and Kylie Minogue. Just when one thinks their music was already bad enough, be prepared for what's to come	(48)
(Molly Good)		Patrick Swayze agrees: Nothing like a smoke on the way to chemotherapy (pic)	(277)
(Some Guy)		Have you seen the latest commercial for Scope White? Procter and Gamble picked Ryan Seacrest to sell white fluid that is swished in the mouth then spit out	(33)
		Kate Beckinsale says she still feels ugly. She has days when "my a*** won't fit in my jeans and I don't leave the house"	(88)
(Some Guy)		Britney is now a heroine in a futuristic world where talent and dignity is elusive	(98)
		Nick Lachey returning to reality TV. Oddly enough, the show is based around Fame, something he ran out of about of 14 minutes ago	(17)
		The negative effects of Botox may be the only thing that can level the playing field for such acting greats as Hayden Christenson and Keanu Reeves. Whoa	(20)
		China blacklists sexy actress over sex scenes, thus assuring her commercial success in the rest of the world. Hu didn't think this cunning plan through	(60)
		Slow news day: Hayden Panni... Pene... Panie... the chick from Heroes says she can 'rock her body'	(96)
		What makes Jodie Foster a magnet for crazy people?	(69)

		Male student gets stupid tattoos on legs to protest Amy Winehouse's stupid drug use making himself into a stupid protest billboard	(41)
(Some Guy)		Janet Jackson won't be able to lipsynch on SNL this weekend, she's got the flu	(12)
(Some Cowboy, Baby)		Kid Rock begins career he was really destined for: working at Waffle House	(29)
(Some Hoopy Frood)		Today would have been Douglas Adams' 56th birthday. So long, and thanks for all the fish	(251)
(Some Jedi)		News on the upcoming live action Star Wars TV show. "Think Deadwood meets the Sopranos" This is not the show you're looking for	(52)
(Some Guy)		Dave Stevens, creator of "The Rocketeer" and longtime Bettie Page fan, passes away	(27)
		Justin Timberlake describes the day that Madonna gave him a shot in the ass as "one of the greatest days of my life". The Sun is there	(22)
		Radio 1 DJ Sara Cox gives birth to a baby boy; names it Isaac. It's a good name that no one would make fun of, Isaac Cox	(128)
(KTVB.COM)		Mary Ann? Or Mary Jane? Gilligan's Island star pleads guilty to posession pot	(284)
(Some Guy)		Angela Bassett, Christina Aguilera, The Munchkins, Tim Robbins, George Harrison and Vince McMahon to get own stars on Hollywood Walk of Fame	(33)
(Some Guy)		Jaason Simmons from "Baaywaatch" is gaay	(15)
		Kathy Griffin marries die-hard fans. In related news, Kathy Griffin has die-hard fans	(37)
(BLOCKBUSTER BUZZ)		"Aliens vs. Predator" fans, it's time to get excited again. Yes, both of you	(100)
		Britney Spears to appear on the sitcom "How I Met Your Mother and Banged Her in a Three-Way While Doing Coke and Cheetos"	(22)
		Bono calls into an Irish morning radio show while he's taking his kids to school to refute claims he can't hit the high notes anymore	(40)
(Some Guy)		Britney would like to know why K-Fed can tip waitresses $2000 and spend $20,000 on jewelry, but can't foot his own legal bill	(26)
		Amy Winehouse makes another shocking mistake: Puts trash out on a slow news day	(268)
		Hugh Laurie admits that he gets into character as House MD by taking Vicodin	(75)
		Hollywood is out of ideas AND ketchup: "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" remake in the works	(44)
(Some Guy)		Much like Michael Jackson himself, Neverland is old, rundown and missing some of its original parts	(104)
		If her farking speech is any farking indication, Madonna is very farking happy to let every motherfarker know that she's motherfarking honored to be in the farking Rock and Roll Hall of Farking Fame... motherfarkers	(84)
		Pics from the new "Werewolf" movie- behold blood-covered beast Benicio blundering 'bout	(20)
		Julie Andrews was result of her mom's inability to keep her Von Trapp closed during an affair	(20)
		How Christopher Nolan is creating Two-Face: Aaron Eckhart shot every scene twice	(81)

		Film festival proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Danny Glover is too old for this shiat by giving him a Lifetime Achievement Award	(14)
		Recognizing that you have a problem is the first step to recovery. However, if you're Britney Spears and you need Tom Arnold to tell you that you have a problem, you're screwed	(27)
		Scenes featuring Heath Ledger in Heath Ledger's final film, "The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus" starring Heath Ledger, will remain unedited with respect to Heath Ledger's performance. Heath Ledger	(21)
		Do not meddle in the affairs of Ian McKellen, for he is desperate and quick to remind you that he wants to play Gandalf again	(49)
		In a catchphrase survey, "Call it, friendo" from "No Country for Old Men" beats "I drink your milkshake" from "There Will Be Blood," even though Javier Bardem never says "Call it, friendo"	(84)
(Some Guy)		Heather Locklear survives her suicide attempt that never happened. Whew, that was close	(94)
		Fox's worst TV series ever to be resurrected as an animated series. No, it's not Firefly	(118)
		Paris Hilton's "engagement ring" from Benji Madden as significant as the one Dodi Fayed gave Princess Di	(20)
		Hayden Panettiere is the cutest little moron you've ever seen	(68)
		Star Jones dumps husband because he "spent their marriage riding her success", which is a strange nickname for a dildo	(166)
		George Clooney denies getting plastic surgery on his face, but says he had his balls "ironed" to remove the wrinkles	(156)
(Dali Sandwich)		There are THREE movies about Salvador Dali in production. One starring Johnny Depp, one starring Al Pacino and one starring Peter O'Toole	(39)
		Robert De Niro is now the frontrunner for the breast actor award. The Sun is there, and you'll wish it wasn't	(31)
		Nickelback frontman has new party trick: No vodak involved but hopefully it will be performed in perpetuity	(139)
(Some Guy)		Metallica to re-issue early albums on vinyl in an attempt to foil pirates everywhere	(76)
		Catherine Zeta-Jones says that at 38, she has yet to reach her sexiest point. Even more importantly, she hinted that she might get all kinds of naked in her next movie	(56)
		"10,000 B.C." pulls in mammoth moolah at box offices around the world	(58)
		Indiana Jones could rescue the upcoming summer movie season (with bonus pic of the amazing new poster)	(52)
		Matt Damon and wife expecting second child. Sarah Silverman unavailable for comment	(35)
(People)		George Clooney on Fabio: "If I do get beaten down by Fabio, that will be far worse than the pain. I wouldn't shake that"	(26)
		If you're a cocktail waitress lucky enough to hook up with George Clooney, just wait 'til a guy you grew up with puts all your dirty little secrets on his blog	(35)
		Lindsay Lohan thrilled to star alongside Ann-Margaret. Ann-Margaret thrilled to know that she doesn't look as weathered as Lindsay Lohan	(53)