Amy Winehouse, come on down - you're the next contestant on "Name That Skin Infection"	(46)
		Simon Cowell gives rare insight into his dental hygiene: "To me, Botox is no more unusual than toothpaste. It works, you do it once a year - who cares?"	(15)
		Unknown Canadian band still trying to block release of Harry Potter movies and video games. Good luck with that	(24)
(People Magazine)		Ousted "American Idol" contestant Robbie Carrico denies wig rumors. Still hasn't answered questions about how a former teen pop singer who dated Britney thought he could pass as a rocker	(12)
		In a sign there may be hope for this nation after all, new Will Ferrell movie "Semi-Pro" opens far below expectations, tracking to be one of his worst performing movies ever	(92)
		TRON 2 in 3D?? Crom and Ram unavailable for comment this microcycle, because they de-rezzed	(31)
		Diablo Cody plans to celebrate 'Oscar' win by getting a tattoo of Ellen Page's face on her arm. Oh, okay NOW I get it	(76)

		Clearly they don't give out Academy Awards based on intelligence: Best actress Marion Cotillard is a 9/11 truther. A really hot one, though	(229)
		Avril Lavigne courts the media to criticize celebrities who court the media. She is SO punk	(63)
		Jennifer Lopez names her twins. No, not those twins	(18)
		Moby says that Britney's fall from grace is "breaking my heart because ultimately she's not doing things on a symbolic level." For what it's worth, Britney *is* symbolic of a trainwreck, Moby	(36)
		Ellen Page drags herself out of Sam Raimi's "Drag Me to Hell"	(50)
		Middle East's most popular prime-time television show is just like Pop Idols only, you know, for poets	(9)
(Some Gal)		Shelley Beattie, A.K.A. American Gladiator's "Siren" passed away	(42)
		Kate Moss still looks great, even when she's pissed as a newt at 3 am. Or maybe it's just the fact that she's standing next to Kelly Osbourne	(34)
		Reporter embeds himself in the paparazzi pack that follows Britney 24/7. "Britney loves us. You really thinks she wants us to go away?"	(26)
		A list of the 10 worst Disney films ever released. The #1 spot should show you how difficult it is to narrow down a list like this	(161)
(KOAT)		A pinch of desperation, a tablespoon of little white lies, resume kicked up a couple notches and BAM: Chef Impossible is canned from the Food Network	(46)
		Kurt Loder makes it clear in his review that he does not like Semi-Pro. In other news, Kurt Loder is still alive	(45)
		And the loser is... the way the Academy Awards handle the music, foreign language, and documentary categories	(20)

(The Star)		Scarlett Johansson convinces David Bowie to contribute to her album of Tom Waits covers, he does what all of us would do by going "oohhh" and "aahhh" as she sings	(36)
		John Lennon's coat, Superman's cape, and Indiana Jones' whip are among the available items in a $5 million pop memorabilia auction. Michael Jackson's nose nowhere to be seen	(17)
		Four words you never thought you'd see together: Kelly Osbourne Fitness DVD	(32)
		Johnny Cash returns to the music industry, well sort of	(23)
		Like the many, many people she fools around with, Teri Hatcher is unaffected by her single status	(23)
		Author of bestselling holocaust memoir now admits the story was complete fiction. You know who else said the Holocaust was complete fiction	(40)
		A look at all of the movies in March, AKA when we finally get to see all of the crap that was hurried through production to dodge the writers' strike	(41)
		An interview with one of Hollywood's most bankable stars, Will Ferrell	(80)
(Bitten and Bound)		Kelly Osbourne caught partying like the rock star that she's not	(38)
		Nancy Grace vs. producer, Paris Hilton, and a hog humping a garbage can	(48)
		"The druggie singer has become a darling of trendy designers – despite looking like she’s been dragged through a crack den backwards." The Sun is there	(29)
		Miley Cyrus' parents ban her from being friends with Lindsay Lohan, calling attention to Lindsay's addiction to drugs, alcohol, drug-enhanced alcohol, alcohol-covered drugs, and drug-enhanced alcohol-covered drugs	(52)
(PLAYBOY)		Hugh Hefner wants the Olsen twins in Playboy... doesn't realize he can just draw a pair of stick figures and save a bundle of cash	(48)
		MTV won't play Paula Abdul's latest video. MTV plays music videos?	(59)
(TheShiznit.co.uk)		Hide The Scenery: The Twenty Most OTT Movie Performances Ever (with video proof)	(135)
		Family Guy's Cleveland to get a spin-off series. This seems as about unlikely as [B-list celebrity] and [80s Teen Idol] [embarassing situation] together [fill 3 minutes]	(107)
		Strippers inspired by Diablo Cody's win, $5 bills	(26)
		"Scrubs" moving from NBC to ABC next fall. Awesome news to the left. Awesome quotes from Dr. Cox to the right	(134)

		R.I.P New Line Cinema, 1967-2008	(79)
(Maclean's)		Executive producer of "The Daily Show" discusses his new book "Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me"	(13)
(eonline.com)		DEA would like Heath Ledger's doctors to have a seat over here	(19)
		ShoWest dubs Christopher Nolan the director of the year, even though "The Dark Knight" won't be released until July. He's THAT good	(30)
		Happy 60th birthday, Bernadette Peters: Here are your five worst film performances	(80)
(Some Guy)		Ashlee Simpson gets a promise ring from her boyfriend. What is she, 14?	(64)
		Rehab works for Amy Winehouse about as well as it works for David Hasselhoff. Singer soon to be videotaped on the floor drunkenly eating a banger sandwich	(31)
		Brooke Hogan condemns father Hulk for having affair with one of her friends, knows best. The Sun is there, but the tanning salon scooped them	(73)
(SomeHornedUpGuy)		Kate Beckinsale talks about her private parts. "Only a handful of people have seen into the Pharaoh's Tomb." Giggity	(86)
		In late 2009, NBC might be faced with this choice: either keep Leno on "The Tonight Show", and pay Conan O'Brien $40 million as a penalty, or let him go off to ABC, Fox, or his own syndicated show	(50)
		Operation MySpace books Jessica Simpson and Carlos Mencia for a concert for U.S. soldiers in Kuwait. As if it wasn't bad enough over there	(31)
(Some Guy)		Now that the writers strike is over, we can look forward to quality programming like Tyra Banks and Ashton Kutcher developing a new show for ABC	(18)
		Michael Hutchence's 11-year-old daughter Tiger Lily might have a chokehold on her first Hollywood role	(64)
		Ben Affleck discusses how he agreed to play the catcher in a gay relationship with Jimmy Kimmel in front of a post-Super Bowl audience of millions	(47)
(Some Huffington Guy)		SNL writer asked to write more sketches after Hillary Clinton references his skit in the debate	(41)

(Pittsburgh Live)		Casting call: people with deformities, odd proportions and other strange looks for new movie in West Virginia, special emphasis on the "inbred look"	(59)
		Debut of supposed "Myspace hit" show "Quarterlife" on NBC gets the lowest ratings for its timeslot in more than 17 years, meaning it will very likely be cancelled after one show	(50)
		Chicago Tribune ask readers "who's the best SNL cast member" in a field of 64, Jon Lovitz vs. John Belushi bracket is rather lopsided	(67)
		Cinderella story of the Vegas cocktail waitress who quit her $200,000 a year job to become George Clooney's main squeeze. In other news, Vegas cocktail waitresses can pull down $200k a year	(57)
(TV Squad)		Get ready for another season of Fark's favorite sitcom, "According to Jim"	(40)
(After Ellen)		"The L Word" reinforces negative stereotypes of bisexuals. If you mean in-denial milquetoasts too afraid to pick a team, then yes	(63)
		The Rock claims he's going to win an Oscar for his acting. There are few times the tag could be more appropriate	(55)
		Rosie O'Donnell to star in sitcom with Fran Drescher, so take heart all you fans of the fat and the ear-piercingly annoying	(56)
(North Star Writers)		"Big Bang Theory" is quite possibly the funniest new sitcom to air in the last few years." If you mean a derivative restatement of the kind of stuff you could find scribbled on the wall of any men's room at MIT, sure	(66)
		"With the possible exceptions of right-wing radio hosts and left-wing documentary filmmakers, nobody has benefited more from the culture war than Larry The Cable Guy."	(83)
		After reaching her fourth anniversary, Kate Beckinsale says a three-year marriage in Hollywood is a long time - which means she should be filing for divorce any day now. The waiting line forms behind me, fellas	(49)
(SF Signal)		Science-fiction writers asked which SF movie endings they'd change if they had the chance (spoilers)	(161)
(NYT)		Jay Leno is never retiring from TV and Jimmy Fallon is Conan's likely replacement	(67)
		"Leave Britney alone" says he would go straight if Britney wanted to date him	(67)
		"Gary Coleman and new wife" picture slide show. There are no words, only laughter	(71)
		Paris Hilton looking for new best friend via reality TV show. Tentative titles include "Dancing at the Bars" and "American Idle" (VE for other title ideas)	(112)
(Some Guy)		"Spawn" creator Todd McFarlane, fantasy author R.A. Salvatore and pro baseball player Curt Schilling are teaming up to build an MMO. Wait, what?	(38)
(BLOCKBUSTER BUZZ)		"Starship Troopers 3" trailer. "Let's go crack a planet"	(95)
		Top 25 put-down lines from the history of TV. Yes, Basil Fawlty, Father Jack Hackett, House and Blackadder are there	(137)
		Miss Great Britain shares sloppy seconds	(8)
(Some Guy)		Jon Favreau talks "Iron Man" and how Tony Stark's alcoholism is like "Spider-Man 3"	(31)
		It's cool to hate Diablo Cody now	(135)
		In a world where a magical kingdom is in danger, ONE MAN gets to the root of the problem by becoming the Tooth Fairy... and that man is The Rock	(30)
		Stephen King and John Mellencamp combine to create a musical so diabolical it could only have been made by two old hacks. This is our AAAAAAHHHHHH ZOMBIES	(20)

		Naomi Campbell hospitalized for cyst removal. Screaming at the cyst and throwing a phone at it apparently aren't viable options here	(16)
		Hair stylist is proud of giving Javier Bardem "one of the most horrible haircuts in history"	(28)
		If you've got a few million in the bank and want to hold onto childhood in a creepy way, Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch may soon be up for auction	(14)
		Confirming the suspicions of everyone who paid to see "Hulk," Eric Bana admits that he was never trained to act	(56)
		The executive producer of "Jimmy Kimmel Live" explains how in the fark they got so many stars to participate in the "I'm Farking Ben Affleck" video	(44)
(Some Ready Farker)		Katherine Heigl wants to have a baby. Thousands of Farkers stand ready to answer the call of duty	(68)
(South Bend Tribune)		Jack Bauer can overcome anything terrorists throw at him; writer's strike, not so much. See you in 2009	(35)
(Some Guy)		New rock opera about Tonya Harding set to debut. People in the first ten rows cautioned about flying hubcaps	(30)
(stereogum)		Today's sign of the music industry's demise: Perez Hilton gets a record label	(52)
		Elton John says he's now too old to dress up like Donald Duck and Marie Antoinette	(33)
(Real Life Comics)		Why "The Sarah Connor Chronicles" on FOX is doomed	(156)
		Fox pens a deal with WWE to have "first-look" distribution for more horrible movies starring pro-wrestlers	(34)
		Kate Hudson loves being naked. That is all	(89)
(Some Guy)		Owner of rights to "Dawn of the Dead" says Capcom's "Dead Rising" is ripping off his ideas. George Romero would like to pick his brains	(165)
		News has sunk to this: Jamie Lynn gets her GED	(196)
(Bitten and Bound)		Hollywood A-Listers continue to procreate. How they all end up with twins seems like a statistical impossibility. The bottom line: the celebrity baby brigade is burgeoning	(21)
		Vanessa Williams credits her success to racism - not to being named the first black Miss America and having pictures of her vagina published in Penthouse, which caused a controversy - as previously believed	(40)
		The skank-chic fad continues apace as Amy Winehouse announces she is planning on launching her own clothing line, presumably with hidden pockets for crack pipes and the like	(12)
(Celebridiot)		Would you destroy your marriage and look like a whore on national TV for money? Well they found somoene to do it on Fox's "To Tell the Truth" last night	(263)
(Some Guy)		Buffalo TV station error gives Oscar viewers live audio feed of snarky station personnel. The FCC will not be amused by their take on Best Director	(74)
		Sean Connery believes Scotland will soon be independent and plans to live there again, hopefully to complete work on the Anal Bum Cover	(46)
		"Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins" to do battle with "Night at the Museum II: Escape From the Smithsonian" for box office supremacy on May 22, 2009	(55)
		What happens when you screen Helen Mirren's "The Queen" to the deaf and the subtitles go berserk. Burking In Paris not amused	(19)
(Cinematical)		"Smallville's" Lex Luthor might be Michael Bay's pick for the new Freddy Krueger	(42)
		Prince to get an operation currently known as a hip replacement	(38)
		Screenwriter of next Bond film admits even he doesn't know what the hell "Quantum of Solace" means	(46)

		Whoopi Goldberg upset that she was not included in the montage of Oscar hosts during Sunday's Academy Awards telecast or approached for a "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" sequel	(29)
		Ryan Seacrest is seemingly the only person in Hollywood who didn't know Gary Busey is insane	(61)
		David Bowie was completely caught off-guard last night when his Oscar win was announced	(58)
(RADAR)		Oscar spokesperson says that there was not enough time to put Brad Renfro into the "in memoriam" montage even though Heath Ledger who passed two weeks later made the final cut	(85)
		"Vantage Point" takes $24 million over the weekend. Most of that was from repeat visitors viewing the film from theaters' many diff-- aw, you see where this is going	(36)
		TV ratings for this year's Oscars drooped lower than Ruby Dee's knockers	(110)
		Ladies in red at the Oscars	(39)
		New "Starship Troopers" movie might finally quiet Heinlein fanatics who still don't get the first movie	(158)
		See if you can find Donny Osmond in this huge gallery of images from last night's Academy Awards. Then ask yourself, 'WTF was Donny Osmond doing at the Oscars"	(23)
		Having a difficult time picturing a TV show worse than "American Idol"? Contestants read poetry to tenured academics on the most popular prime-time show in the Middle East	(28)
		Reporter for Time Magazine invites George Clooney to his house for dinner. Coolarity ensues. Bonus: video of Clooney crawling around in the attic with a flashlight looking for an alarm that's going off	(48)
		Jon Stewart... class act	(109)
		Mulder & Scully talk "X-Files 2" (w/ OMG it's really been a decade? pics)	(54)
		Jimmy Kimmel's farking Ben Affleck	(104)
		Oscar wrap-up; Coen brothers drink Paul Thomas Anderson's milkshake. They DRINK IT UP	(148)
(Celebridiot)		Gary Busey gets his Oscar moment by giving Jennifer Garner a bear hug on the red carpet. The only fun moment of the night	(49)
		Double-take headline of the day: "SBS aired robotic dildo sex"	(19)