Entertainment Weekly sits down with legendary zombie film director George Romero and picks his BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS	(18)
		Heather Mills' biggest problem these days? Finding someone to colour-cordinate her bras	(14)
(Agentbedhead)		Oh those poor kittens; Scarlett Johansen and Natalie Portman feign a girl on girl kiss at their film premiere	(58)
		Apparently trying to seal the deal on a divorce with her husband or a new reality show, Heidi Klum invites Britney to live with her	(16)
		Madonna's horrendous directorial debut is going straight to iPod	(15)
		Why do they call you Booger? Top 20 movie nerds of the 80s	(48)
		Sci-Fi Channel to release a direct-to-DVD movie of their animated soft-porn series "Tripping The Rift"	(37)
		Matlock revealed. The real story behind Andy Griffith	(23)
(Bitten and Bound)		Michael Jackson's coming back and he is going for the gangster chic look. I think they meant to say gangster chick	(26)
		Fans try to stop destruction of former Karen Carpenter home in California. Hunger strike, anyone?	(20)
		Rachel Weisz: MILF and loving it	(38)
		The BBC will revive the 1960's classic "Frost Report" for a one-off special. Bonus: Michael Palin and John Cleese will star	(11)
		Dr. Phil + JFP = crazy douchebaggery	(83)
		Japanese pop princess Kumi Koda cracks joke on late-night TV about spoiled amniotic fluid in older women. After a pregnant pause, hilarity ensues	(36)

		Phil Spector breaks his silence before second trial for murder. Submitter will only submit this once	(37)
(Some Guy)		Jamie Lynn shocked a boy at a party by asking him for sex. "It's cool, I'm pregnant," she said	(67)
(Some Beatle)		Did you like Across the Universe? Here's ten more bands whose music ought to be turned into a film	(105)
		Paul Cole, anonymous bystander on Abbey Road album cover, dies at 96. Forrest Gump unimpressed	(34)
(Some Guy)		Arnold Schwarzenegger will not be in the 4th terminator film called "Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins'	(39)
		The bad boys of the Oscars: how nominees Javier Bardem and Daniel Day-Lewis set a new standard for movie villainy this year	(15)
		Eminem denies rumors that he's joining the WWE and becoming a pro wrestler. HE'S STILL THE REAL SLIM SHADY TO ME, DAMMIT	(17)
(Some Guy)		A collection of 57 celebrities spotted without makeup	(105)
		Peggy Sue got sued: Nicolas Cage files libel suit against Kathleen Turner after she claims in her new book that he has been arrested twice for drunk driving and once stole a chihuahua	(12)
(People Magazine)		One year ago today, the Britney Express jumped the tracks ... and has been picking up steam ever since	(66)
(Bitten and Bound)		Is the Osmond family under exclusive contract with Dancing with the Stars? Will Donny O make the Season 6 Celebrity roster? Inquiring minds are torn	(9)
(The Rubber Chicken)		A panel-by-panel analysis of a comic from that lost literary classic, the Captain Planet Annual 1993	(6)
		List of the 20 most appalling TV shows includes a health dose of reality shows, a big chunk of Flavor Flav, and a generous portion of Kim Kardashian's generous rear end	(60)
(Some Guy)		"Red Dwarf" star Daniel John-Jules arrested for attacking garbagemen with samurai sword	(51)
		Apparently Batman's other ride is a Lamborghini with twin missile pods. Duh	(15)
(Media Morgue)		Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell will replace Heath Ledger in Terry Gilliam's film	(18)
		Area man honored to be one who added death date to Heath Ledger's Wikipedia page	(13)
(Some Guy)		"X-Files 2" producers reportedly dropping fake spoilers on the internet. The truth is not out there	(14)
(Some Guy)		Sir Paul McCartney settles divorce case with Heather Mills for about $110 million. Sources say she really kneeds the money, and was hip to the settlement. Tibia fibula. Ankle	(156)
(TMZ)		Man attacks Diddy’s hand with face	(10)
(Some Guy)		John Landis to direct biopic about EC Comics publisher William M. Gaines, and the usual gang of idiots	(25)
		Christopher Walken receives Harvard's Hasty Pudding Man of the Year award in drag. (w/pics)	(24)
		"A new series entitled Football Hurts doesn't raise hopes of a quality-TV experience. What might we be in for? 50 Most Entertaining Instances of Players Getting Hit in the Nuts?"	(14)

		Heather Mills claims that photos of her performing a sexual act on a male porn model were a ''sex educational manual"	(55)
		Fans wear Steve Martin masks to "Hannah Montana" concert after Miley Cyrus thought she spotted him in the crowd. In related news, 12-year-olds know who Steve Martin is	(24)
		Eva Green vows to never appear nude in a film again	(35)
		The good news is Natalie Portman will never get married. The bad news is Natalie Portman will never get married	(41)
		Nerds watch TV, too -- the MENSA head has picked the smartest TV shows of all time. Apparently, nerds don't like "Jackass"	(115)
		Sylvester Stallone says the "Rambo" franchise may not be over just yet. If only there were a country somewhere with a conflict going on that he could solve... hmmm	(29)
		IMDB users deem Paris Hilton's latest film to be the worst movie ever made. The next time you watch "Manos: The Hands of Fate," "Battlefield Earth" or "Troll 2," consider yourself cultured	(104)
(Some Guy)		Indiana Jones and the Trailer of Censorship?	(44)
		"Pigs should not be given tractors"	(27)
(Some Guy)		Ten movies in need of a remake because they've either aged badly or George Lucas made them	(252)
		Catholic bishops urge actors to refuse to participate in "vulgar and destructive" sex scenes in films	(43)
		Paris Hilton abandons her cat at the vet; says that because of her two chihuahuas, rottweiler, ferret, goat and kinkajou, she can't look after her pussy	(23)
(Some Guy)		"Far Cry" trailer. Would everyone please stop financing Uwe Boll?	(73)
(BLOCKBUSTER BUZZ)		Is there anyone left out there who doesn't think "Justice League" is going to suck? Well, this news item will fix that	(42)
		Harlan Ellison’s calm and rational analysis of the new WGA contract	(45)
		Church of the Jedi reaches 400,000 members	(62)
		The 50 greatest sports movies: Is your favorite here? Mine neither	(199)
		Rhoda forced to take subway to her husband Joe's funeral. If you get this joke, check out how nice my lawn is	(34)
		An interview with George Romero and a review of his new film "Diary of the Dead"	(36)
		Kathy Griffin claims to have had an affair with one of the members of N*Sync, which explains why Lance Bass is gay	(41)
(Some Fatty)		From the 'Dude you're doing it wrong' department: Kirstie Alley fired from Jenny Craig for being a porker	(65)

(Some Lostie)		So who sends a rescue mission with just four people?	(284)
(Some Guy)		Actress Bai Ling arrested for Stea Ling	(88)
		"Doctor Who" Season Four looks to be epic beyond anything done with the new series so far... and here's more spoilers and speculation than you can shake a sonic screwdriver at	(44)
(g.s.)		Map of the entire Star Trek universe. If you're still reading this headline and haven't clicked the link yet, you've failed the nerd test	(89)
(Some Guy)		Jane Fonda dropped the C bomb on the "Today Show"	(109)
		"We've had trouble with a lot of bloggers but he's the biggest, and the most arrogant and pigheaded"	(43)
		Raquel Welch, 67, returns to TV to play an "ageing actress" pretending to be 42. And does a pretty fine job of it, too	(57)
		Nicole Kidman will play outed spy Valerie Plame in an upcoming biopic; refuses body-double for nude pot-smoking scene with Robert Novak	(34)
(Huffpo)		Dennis Miller's show about to be cancelled. Sorry, let me start over. Some moron gave Dennis Miller ANOTHER show and it is about to be cancelled, again	(76)
		William Shatner: Actor, Provocateur, Charmer, Singer, Shatner	(185)
		Edited-for-CBS "Dexter" doesn't completely suck	(44)
		To the guys who get roped into seeing "Definitely, Maybe" tonight, it's a 2.5-hour borefest that not even the presence of Isla Fisher, Rachel Weisz and Elizabeth Banks can help	(66)
		Your geriatric jokes were unfounded. New "Indiana Jones" trailer released	(143)
		The Hair Club for Sam. How Samuel L. Jackson's bald head gets reshaped in every new film	(22)
		Believe it or not, Hayden Christensen's wooden acting in "Jumper" may be the main flaw in the film. It's almost as if he killed it. All of it. And not just the script, but the effects and the acting too	(84)
		There may be no crying in baseball, but there sure is a lot of it on "American Idol" this season... and that's just the ones who made it	(30)
		Hollywood might not be out of the woods yet: Members of the Screen Actors Guild might walk out after June 30th. Please, please, please	(22)
		Kathleen Turner is proud of doing full-frontal nudity at 48 when she was "quite over the hill and past any sexual attraction" in a Broadway production of "The Graduate." Penis	(62)
		Madonna's first attempt at film direction leaves viewers "staggering around in a state of clinical shock, deathly pale and mewing like maltreated kittens"	(122)
		Scarlett Johansson latest to join Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lopez and Minnie Driver in "Actresses Who Think They Can Sing" club	(95)
		"Romeo and Juliet," starring Leonardo DiCaprio, voted greatest love film of all time	(88)
(Some Prime Directive)		Here's footage of the new "Star Trek" set near Dodger Stadium, courtesy of Fox 11's newschopper	(22)
		Paramount pushes "Star Trek" movie from December to next May. PAAARAAMOUNNNNTTT	(41)
		Coen Brothers obtain film rights to Michael Chabon's novel "The Yiddish Policemen's Union"	(29)
		Heidi Fleiss dismisses charges that she was driving under the influence with drugs in her car, claiming she's innocent despite driving under the influence with drugs in her car	(7)

		Davd Hofffelshafffffff (*hic*) selhoff... Hasslevid davidof-- Davidd (*hic*) Hazzlefhoff, ahem, Hasselhoff... booze...(*hic*) Carrrels jr burgr... drunk DaviHasslff. DAVD HASLHAAHHHHF	(22)
(Some Guy)		If you're a stand up comedian, one way to keep the audience entertained is to give them all $100 bills	(17)
		Britney Spears secretly married her boyfriend Abu Ghraib in Mexico. Sorry guys, she's off the market	(222)
(EUR Web)		The CW has cancelled "Girlfriends," a show you never watched in the eight years it's been on the air	(68)
(Some Scab)		Michael Bay admits to writing the script for “Transformers 2” during the strike	(106)
		CBS announces dates your favorite show that sucks will return	(53)
(Some Guy)		Having never been introduced to a series of tubes, Pamela Anderson thinks banning photogs from strip show will prevent nude pictures of her from being circulated	(36)
		"24" executive producer Joel Surnow opts to leave the show after his contract RAN OUT OF TIME	(30)
(CinCity2000.com)		If you don't let your significant other have sex with these actors and actresses if given a chance, you're Meany McMeanypants	(148)
		Aretha Franklin is mifffed that Beyonce Knowles called Tina Turner "The Queen" During the Grammy awards. Cause everybody knows there's only one Queen, baby, and that's Aretha	(86)
		Heather Mills will "go abroad and fade into obscurity" after divorce settlement. Brits offer to make up the difference if McCartney holds back	(34)
(Irish Sun)		Natalie Portman is tired of getting scripts in which her character plays a stripper or a prostitute. "It's the virgin-whore thing"	(73)
		Oscars ceremony saved as Hollywood writers call off their strike. Oh the huge banalities	(15)

(Some Guy)		Gary Coleman marries a woman half his age, twice his height (Bonus detail: He's been a virgin all these years)	(104)
		The writer's strike is over. Goodbye reality TV, hello.....well.....reality TV	(294)
		Britney Spears planning world tour. Unfortunately, it's of our world, not hers	(37)
(Newsarama)		Comic book artist Stéphane Peru dies at 26. It's a sad time to be a geek	(22)
		"Monty Python's Spamalot" changes a song's lyrics to spare the feelings of Britney Spears: "... we don't laugh at sad people... Britney Spears is being tortured to death and we don't want to be on that side"	(36)
(MSN.ca)		Pulp Fiction robbed for Best Picture in 1995 and other Oscar injustices	(105)
(A Socialite's Life)		As you read this, some scuzzy lunchmeat rock boy in a sweater is sullying the virginity of Emma Watson (SFW)	(52)
(iF Magazine)		Del Toro signs on to direct "Dr. Strange" - yet another comic book movie adaptation. So when's the Wonder Twins film going to get greenlighted?	(47)
		Spielberg takes his toys from Olympics, goes home. Will spend time "bringing an end to the unspeakable crimes against humanity that continue to be committed in Darfur." And making Transformers III	(78)
		"Being resuscitated and brought back to life by a fan base is the ultimate reward..It wasn't a decision based on money or strategy or anything other than love.." Jericho Returns tonight	(32)
		Now that the WGA strike is over, "Lost" writers plan on condensing the final eight episodes of this season down to five, likely making the show even more incomprehensible than it already is. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO	(54)
		Jenna Jameson's new comic book series will be published by Virgin Comics. Ironic tag asplodes (in an earth-shattering orgasm)	(18)
(iF Magazine)		More photos of the new "Star Wars: Clone Wars" CGI series ... it's as if a billion geek voices in unison suddenly cried out for joy, then went silent	(32)
(people.com)		Family tradition: Paris Hilton's brother arrested for DUI. With mugshot goodness	(38)
		Denise Richards to star in reality show, playing "a resilient single mom who is trying to get her life back on track," only with huge knockers	(43)
		Gwyneth Paltrow to start a new trend: adopting children from your own country. It probably won't get as much publici-- oh wait, she lives in England now, doesn't she?	(21)
(Mollygood)		Angelina Jolie has lost her Oscar statuette, but doesn't care because she's too good of a person and busy on a mission from God to care about mere acting awards	(36)
(Some Guy)		Hollywood isn't the only place that's out of ideas: "Shrek, The Musical" will open on Broadway in December	(14)
		NBC picks up a sixth season of "The Biggest Loser." Aren't you glad that the Writers Guild strike is over?	(36)
		Miley Cyrus criticized for not wearing seat belt in movie, but is apparently still allowed to be a vapid role model for young girls	(48)
(Hollywood Reporter)		Dr. Who's Christopher Eccleston joins the cast of the G.I. Joe movie as Destro. Looks like Cobra will have a TARDIS at its disposal	(44)
		Having trainwrecked all other options, corporate radio tries a quaint little format where DJs pick the music	(69)
(BLOCKBUSTER BUZZ)		You thought you'd seen your last "Star Wars" movie? Think again, padawan	(123)
(NY Daily News)		Another smooth jazz station bites the dust, disapointing tens of Kenny G fans	(47)
		Avril Lavigne to launch signature perfume, allowing fans to smell just like her. In other words, like the Napanee River during a fish kill in July	(66)
(Comic Book Resources.)		Steve Gerber, creator of Howard the Duck, quacks	(48)
		Twenty-fifth anniversary "Thriller" album released today. Boxed set comes with Jesus juice and posable Macaulay Culkin doll	(69)
		Lenny Kravitz admitted to hospital for treatment of severe suck. Are you gonna go his way?	(66)
(Backseat Cuddler)		Bobby Brown likes to pee on people	(38)
		ABC renews nine shows, including "Dirty Sexy Money", "Pushing Daisies" and "Samantha Who?"	(55)
		The prosthetics come off in the Mills-McCartney divorce case: "Heather has a very unusual erogenous zone - her stump. I used to massage one particular area and it gave her an orgasm."	(121)

		Nancy Benoit? The one murdered by her husband, WWE wrestler Chris Benoit? You bet Hustler has nude photos of her	(52)
		Literary executors for J.R.R. Tolkien sue New Line Cinema, saying that they are tricksy and false	(40)
(TMZ)		British rapper sort've explains why he punched "Desperate Housewives" guy. He has such nice teeth for a British rapper	(14)
(iF Magazine)		Robert Patrick aka the T-1000 liquid metal dude from "T2" might be making an appearance on "Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles"	(128)
		The Grammys had their third worst ratings in history. Illegal song downloaders expected to be blamed	(71)
		Posh Spice revealed as Cylon when battery cover comes loose	(23)
(Some Guy)		No more giant hands holding the Enterprise in place as NASA planetary scientist joins Star Trek production team to ensure scientific accuracy	(49)
(Some Terminator)		Fox's cunning plan to generate more ratings for "The Terminator Chronicles" involves casting Brian Austin Green as a recurring character. Fans are expected to tune in each week hoping that this will be the one where he gets killed	(83)
		"Epic Fail" does so-so in the ratings, but is behind "Without a Trace" and the show after "Lost" about George Michael	(30)
(Some Guy)		Leslie Nielsen turns 82 today. I AM serious	(99)
(Some Guy)		Kate Hudson says she wants to have more kids, but not looking for love. Line forms behind submitter	(34)
(Some Guy)		Jack Nicholson uses a foolproof pick-up line to win over the opposite sex - he asks women if they are pregnant	(37)
		Sylvester Stallone did all but one of the stunts in the new Rambo film; so if you don't get off his lawn he'll make you himself	(53)
(Some Guy)		Ric Romero's doppelganger: "A blog is simply a spur-of-the-moment scribbling of your everyday experiences onto a website... most people attribute the first weblog to Wil Wheaton. Does that name sound familiar?"	(41)
		This year, Jessica Alba had the honor of presenting Oscars at the Academy's Scientific and Technical Awards. "For a computer geek like me, it's really sexy to hear Jessica talk about stable, semi-Lagrangian fluid flows."	(30)
		Chalk one up for the villains: Hayden Panettiere confirms that there will be no new episodes of "Heroes" this spring	(45)
(Some Guy)		First look at Terry Gilliam's "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus." Heath Ledger unavailable for comment, but Tom Waits wonders what he's building in there	(40)
(Some Guy)		Estimated cost of writers strike: (pinky to cheek) TWO Billion Dollars	(54)
(Bitten and Bound)		The COMPLETE list of Grammy Award winners, because subby out there truly wants to know that the best Polka album is “Come Share the Wine,” Jimmy Sturr and His Orchestra	(86)
(Some Guy)		Director J.J. Abrams laughs off angry Trekkies upset with his new prequel. "Is it really worth living in fear of fans of a television show?"	(61)
		The Top Ten hottest TV cars of all time	(62)
(Some Guy)		Will Farrell wants everyone to know the "Land of the Lost" remake will rip your d*** off. Or something like that, the reporter lost his tape recorder	(47)
(Some Girl)		Sigfried and Roy to perform with white tigers again. We hope they're not biting off more than they can chew	(22)